9/10

Okay, now I continue my reviews of the short story anthology Dead Men Diaries. I’m clearly on a short story binge at the minute.

This one is sort of a pretty unique and fun(ish?) take on a grim Christmastime story, and it’s typically dark as one would expect with a Bernice Summerfield story. I do think that it gets a little bit too graphic in some places, but also again I don’t think that really surprises me at this point, lol.

It’s about the story of a young man, Tony, who was on an expedition to the planet Anibus with several of his classmates and his best friend, Steven. However, as a small joke on his friend and knowing how serious he was about technology, Tony sabotages Steven’s equipment while anticipating that he’d at least check it beforehand. It doesn’t go as planned, and while crossing a huge crevasse, the technology falters and Steven falls to his death.

His funeral is being hosted on the Braxiatel Collection where he studied, and Tony is obviously wracked with guilt as one probably would be if they were stupid enough to pull something like that.

However, midway through the funeral proceedings, Tony suddenly becomes terrorised by Steven’s spirit in the gnarled, grotesque form they found his body. It leads to him fleeing the funeral, and after realising nobody is able to help him, he resorts to attempting suicide by jumping off the clock tower of the Mansionhouse.

Bernice obviously stops him, as well as Steven’s girlfriend who was led up there by… another spirit of Steven?

Yes, it soon becomes apparent that Steven’s girlfriend, Vivian, had stolen an object from the native Anibusians that was used in their funeral traditions: a memory stone. They were often left with the corpse (in this case Steven) and a wearer of choosing, so that the wearer can grieve the loss peacefully. However, it had a very adverse effect on humans, which manifested the malevolent spirit that haunted Tony.

Eventually, the stone is smashed, and an inquiry is made into what happened on that expedition, but the whole event only reiterates how much Bernice hates Christmas.

It’s a very interesting addition into the anthology book, and also a little weird, but between this one and Step Back in Time, there’s been a pretty good streak of stories so far!

Next one,

The Door into Bedlam by Dave Stone.

7/10

I would like to start off by saying that I really did enjoy the general concept of this story, and some of the imagery was also quite lovely. I love the depiction of a more Medieval Gallifrey, with the Capitol replaced by a huge and imposing castle, as well as the core Gallifrey cast portrayed in relevant roles: Romana as the Queen of Gallifrey, Narvin as a knight, and so on.

I also really enjoy the way that we’re shown little depictions of how each character has a core trait about them which remains consistent throughout every universe. In every universe, Leela is a warrior and Braxiatel is a hoarder. We get left to our own imaginations on what the rest would be, but it’s fairly simple to grasp.

I think the main bulk of the plot didn’t interest me that little though, but I gather that it’s mainly the character interactions that were supposed to drive this one which I can appreciate and definitely understand because these two writers, Fio Tretheway and Georgia Cook, basically carry this series by also being one of the biggest fans of these characters.

After fighting the Lord Burner in the Gallifrey But More Evil™️ timeline depicted in Disassembled, Braxiatel is quickly thrusted into this Medieval Gallifrey where he’s sentenced to punishment by Queen Romana, and led out into the wilds of Gallifrey.

We learn that Narvin’s wife was Leela, who was unfortunately slain by this huge and imposing dragon that sits within a cavern in the wilds. However, in a twist, we learn that this dragon is actually the universe’s Braxiatel. It’s a bit of an odd twist, but also I don’t really mind it. It’s funny, and kind of silly.

He’s hoarding a stash of temporal devices, remarking on how every Gallifrey has at least one idea of temporal theory, and the objects have been hidden inside of this cave for so long that they’re turning unstable.

Two Braxiatels in one place, obviously being a paradox, allows the human Braxiatel to touch the dragon which allows a huge spark of temporal energy to rip open the spark and then mortally wound the creature.

Knight Narvin then inquires to Braxiatel about his wife being alive in his universe, mentioned earlier, but is talked down from trying to follow him. It’s a very bittersweet sort of ending, and I do like the way that Braxiatel seems to address this version of Narvin throughout the story. It’s in a typical condescending Braxiatel way, because of course, but I live for Narvin.

It’s a very nice little story, mainly driven by the characters of whom it features, and Miles Richardson does a good job of narrating it. I’m really enjoying this short trips set so far, and hope they do more in future!

Next one,

In Search of Lost Time by Una McCormack.

I found this story to be a rather neat little opener for the whole set of anthology tales of Gallifrey’s history, and it’s certainly an interesting taster for what will inevitably be playing out in the final story.

So, the story opens up in the Capitol on Gallifrey. CIA Coordinator Narvin is overlooking a dark, stormy night that’s lashing out across the Wildlands outside the dome. He’s stood outside of Inquisitor Darkel’s office, where he’s eventually greeted once more by the Lord Matthias who’s just returned from an audience with her. Darkel has reminded them that they must act in Lady President Romana’s favour, but the looming threat of the Free Time Movement still unsettles the Coordinator. He’s reminded by the Lord Matthias that it’s entirely his problem though, and nothing to do with anybody outside the CIA, as he walks away.

Narvin then receives a communication from Cadet Kransa, one of his junior Time Lords of the Patrex Chapter. She annoys Narvin quite a lot, though he’s reluctant to show it. She informs him that Chancellor Valyes wants them both to enter Sector 72 immediately, though Narvin is aware that it’s only him that that Valyes wants to investigate. He agrees to her request, and soon they are both down there.

Narvin then meets Valyes down in Sector 72, along with Cadet Kransa, who Valyes is surprised to see. He convinces the Chancellor that she is meant to be down here with him, and he reluctantly decides not to challenge him. Narvin is then informed that children from the Academy have been going missing somewhere down here, after investigating the Untempered Schism. Most have been found, though there are still missing children.

Valyes directs them into the catacombs, where these students have allegedly disappeared. Kransa breaks the perception filter on the gateway, and then they both enter, where Narvin sets up a homing beacon in this ghostly realm to guide them all back when they both find the children.

Narvin eventually learns that Kransa comes from East Gallifrey, in the Red Forest Conurbations. She is not actually from any Great House, though still managed to earn a place in the Time Lord Academy. After an accident at her father’s manufactory mill, she moved to the Capitol.

Narvin soon begins to doubt how real his surroundings are, unconvinced by the walls and such, and recalls tales of conceptual environments that felt real but didn’t actually exist. As he continues to think through all of these thoughts, theorising that this could very realistically be an extension of the APC Net, Kransa pulls him from his train of thought. At the foot of the steps, five children stood motionless.

A seemingly disembodied voice tells both Narvin and Kransa that the children are all frozen in time, and that they should not be here. They make out a headless figure in the dark, of somebody in a golden uniform, that was absorbing the light around it. Then it freezes Kransa.

This creature then addresses itself as the Shade of Portent, which Narvin acknowledges as one of the legendary Time Shades of fhe Rassilonian Era. It informs Narvin that it’s been awaiting his arrival for many years, telling him that he is a pivotal figure in Gallifrey’s time. He is drawn into the Shade’s presence because of the future, and now it is here in order to feed him information of this future so that he will take the correct, predetermined path.

Narvin is then shown images of his future, parallel universes, planets being burned, thousands of Daleks, himself in a leather jacket, a destroyed Gallifrey, and him being blamed for the destruction of the planet.

The Shade of Portent then tells him that there is a price for all of this knowledge, but when Narvin is pulled from the trance, he no longer acknowledges the Shade. Instead, he rushes all the children back to the entrance of the catacombs, and back into the corridor of Sector 72. He forgets Kransa however, deliberately for whatever reason, and is then made to completely forget everything that occurred down there, except for the glimpse of a burning world, his future now all subconsciously laid out for him.

Pretty decent story overall.

Okay, this may be one of my favourite Bernice Summerfield stories I think. I don’t know, there’s just something so simple and neat about it. I love timey stories that aren’t too confusing to the point it just borders on pretentious storytelling. I’d say this is very worth the read, to be honest.

It’s a pretty regular day for Bernice on the Braxiatel Collection, and she’s hanging out with her gay best friend Anderson. She intends to meet him for lunch one morning, but when he doesn’t turn up, she becomes suspicious and eventually finds him in the Great Library. There, he’s got his eyes on a particularly attractive young man, a Jeillo by the name of Porl Tomas. Bernice is more or less forced into trying to learn more about him, for Anderson, and they soon end up hitting it off. It doesn’t go in Anderson’s favour though, as it’s actually Bernice who he ends up hitting it off with.

They begin to date for a period of time, and over the course of this time, they both go on dates together at the observatory where Porl tends to study due to his keen interest in astronomy. During one of these dates, they discuss a species that use a passive form of time travel so that when they make mistakes in their relationships, they can restart the whole thing over with this knowledge and make sure it never happens again, so that they can live a perfect marriage with no mistakes. In fact, there’s a relic from that civilisation inside of the Braxiatel Collection.

Bernice then mentions how she’s going to be attending a party at the bar with the geography students and staff, for a celebration of something or other. She attends, though things quickly become hazy towards the end of the celebrations. Nobody remembers anything that happens that night, and Bernice ends up waking next to somebody. She cleans up, deliberately not checking on her own appearance, and goes to visit Porl during his studies where he becomes strangely reluctant to speak with her. He quickly speeds off in a huff, and Bernice soon realises why he’s so angry. She’s got a love bite, from the party last night.

She tries to sort things out with Porl desperately, trying her hardest to grab his attention and speak with him. However, it’s all futile.

Then, she remembers the relic.

After staying up for another sleepless night thinking about Porl, she eventually goes to steal the relic from the Collection. She briefly runs into Braxiatel, but manages to get away with little suspicion, and gets the object with success. She turns up to Porl’s dorm room, and notices how much of a mess it is, before then offering the Jeillo the opportunity to start over again.

However, this was all an elaborate plan. Months ago, Porl had actually broken up with an ex-girlfriend, Rebecca, who he practically ruined. Even though he knew she wouldn’t want him, he wanted to use the device and fix his own mistakes with her, and used Bernice as a pawn to orchestrate his plan. He staged the spiking at the party, so she would deliberately get that love bite so he could pretend to be angry, so that Bernice would then fetch the object for him.

Bernice, obviously distraught by this whole thing and of the Jeillo leading her on, ends up smashing the relic, though not without the brief thought of maybe using the relic to go back and never get pushed into talking with him in the Great Library to begin with.

Porl is then placed under investigation by the Collection security, and Bernice is once again left to wallow in even more of her trauma.

Such a good story, again I would probably thoroughly recommend it.

A very fine story in this anthology book, but not necessarily anything special. There’s not really anything new done at all, but that’s fine, I don’t anticipate every story to be doing something particularly groundbreaking.

Bernice arrives on Wyzyn, home of the Zulawy, with the express intention of finding this archaeological site where the leader of the planet has granted the members the ability to excavate the land as long as tourists are allowed to visit and practically intrude on the whole site, which is rather silly. She finds the Professor, and then they soon unearth the skeletal remains of a Mtongl, a warring species who went extinct centuries ago, which confuses Bernice as she was aware that their species never stretched as far as Wyzyn. Professor Niwlog, another member of the dig, denies Bernice’s insistence that they evidently did arrive on Wyzyn.

She, as well as some of the other archaeologists, are able to eventually unearth more of the remains and discover one of the Mtongl spacecrafts. Niwlog is allowed to investigate the ship, under the belief that the Mtongl invaded the Zulawy, and blasts open a sealed door into one of the burial chambers, accessible by a mural. However, the blast destroyed the mural, and they all learn too that the entire chamber was cleaned out of riches.

I like this new species, the Gandagums, though. They’re pretty cute, I love armadillos.

Overall though, yeah, just a basic and by-the-books Bernice Summerfield story.

First of all, I very obviously really enjoyed this. It portrays, quite terrifyingly, the lengths that somebody would go in order to protect those that they love, especially with how Braxiatel was still fearing over another attack on his loved ones by the likes of the Fifth Axis. I think this serves as a very interesting conclusion to Braxiatel’s time on the Collection too, as well as several of the threads laid out in the previous six seasons of the early Benny stuff. Very solid stuff from Joseph Lidster, which is hardly unexpected, and one where the extremely dark ending actually feels justified, rather than slightly cheap shock value. It genuinely shows how terrifying and manipulative Braxiatel is, and how it then causes his self-imposed departure from his Collection.

I mean, I don’t actually care for Jason very much, I think he’s portrayed as very irresponsible and just a relatively unlikable character, but I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Being manipulated into using a Gallifreyan artefact that would allow him to control an army of Cybermen in order to protect the Collection is just insane, especially with the way Braxiatel was just going to leave him down in that control room abandoned and rotting.

I do hope that Braxiatel is able to return to audio one day, but god damn his early Big Finish stuff truly does make him out to be one depraved and horrible man.

I don’t really have a lot to say about this one, honestly. I can certainly start by saying that I don’t rate it highly at all, which is probably obvious by the rating lol.

Essentially though, to get into the bulk of the issue I have with this story, it just seems like it’s trying to do yet another (decidedly unoriginal) take on this religion stuff which I highly dislike. They always come away with the most boring and message or some such, like “your God has actually been an alien this whole time”, or “your God doesn’t even exist”. I just feel like it’s such a basic, boring concept for a series that centres around an archaeologist? Like that’s very much just low-hanging fruit, but maybe I would be more courteous to it if it was doing something new.

Another thing that I found generally irritating about this audio was Keri, the Pakhar who I believe is appearing on audio for the first time here? I like the character in prose, but here she’s just incredibly annoying because of all the little vocal quirks and such. There is honestly so much chirruping and EEYUPs I can take before it starts to put my piss on a steady boil. 😭

I will say though that, as per usual, I do enjoy Benny and I do still stand by that Lisa Bowerman was pretty much the perfect casting for her. She literally just embodies the character so well, it’s crazy. I might lower the score later, depending how I feel, but yeah.