Reviews

The audio mixing isn't the best on this (though might just be the version I watched). The plot's fine but less interesting than the other two and unfortunately it felt a little predictable, I saw the twist coming a mile away. Now the effects though, there were some gruesome practical effects in this which I loved, one near the start where a yellow sludge seeps out of a person's eyes really stood out to me, as well as the moment where someone gets their heart torn out of their body.

Overall though, this didn't reach the atmospheric peaks that the first two films did, though it's at least more consistent then The Zero Imperative.

Worth a watch for the effects though.

Also unrelated but it's Criminal that Liz isn't on the cover of more of these, because the cover for this one is just awful.

I feel that this story is quite disjointed and messy. There's one scene in particular where this is the case, but it resonates to a certain degree throughout as well. The plot itself is nice but felt a bit rushed to me. The direction is very nice, though.

This serial is a classic and for good reason. It's very witty and funny with solid direction and some lovely location shoots. The music is also really nice. The plot is engaging as well. There's a bit of nice commentary that resonates nicely with the current AI art discourse that I felt was very nice, even if not intentional.

Halfway done!

This episode had some really solid acting from Jorjie, and Darius was pretty alright too, unfortunately that side of the episode was let down by a rather lackluster script. You can tell where that conversation is going, but hey, it's still performed pretty well and the acting gets you invested with the characters (even if this relationship drama is a bit silly and I don't get Jorjie's attraction to Starkey at all). Nice that there's some series spanning plot going on even if it is this.

The science I don't think *quite* works with reality, but hey, it's fun, and leads to another surprisingly fun monster design. I'm not sure the world needs to be in danger every time there's something like this, I think keeping the stakes more localized would have been just as if not more effective, but hey, it's fine.

I also quite like the interaction at the end when everything's wrapped up with K9 asking what love is. It's not a big moment, but it's fun and feels real.

Another 6/10

8️⃣⏹️ = ENJOYABLE TIER: HIGH

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“WHEN YOU SAY BOOK, I SAY…!”

...ish is tremendously original. There is nothing quite like it in Doctor Who or sci-fi in general. The 2016 film Arrival comes pretty close, and that came out 14 years later. Kudos to the writer Phil Pascoe (in his first and only contribution to the Main Range) for the ingenious originality of the script and the many clever word plays and intelligent jokes littered throughout the four episodes.

This story has one of those few plots I can't really wrap my head around. It is multi-layered and intelligent, yet confined and not too majestic. It’s something of a murder mystery with similar vibes to Whispers of Terror, but even more demanding. The scholarly quality of most of the dialogue makes the story seem more educated than most Doctor Who adventures, and the atypical subject matter is unlikely to entice first-time listeners. The first two episodes don't achieve much in terms of plot progression, but the two latter parts still manage to wrap things up neatly.

...ish delves deep into what could be described as intelligent academic writing, actually utilising linguistics as a plot device. It's a unique concept well-suited for the audio format, but it also takes away a lot of the magic of a science fiction story by turning everything overly complex and confusing. All this being said, there are some interesting things and concepts buried beneath all that pretentiously complicated dialogue, and the second half of the adventure turns up the dial on tension and the creepy factor.

The Sixth Doctor fits this story better than any other Doctor would. His obsession with language makes him the perfect candidate to save language itself. Colin Baker clearly enjoys himself in this one, and the intelligent dialogue (which could easily sound pretentious when performed by any other Doctor) fits his personality perfectly.

The other characters are also fairly enjoyable, especially Moray Treadwell as the ambiguous but creepy Book. Peri gets entangled in the intricacies of language as well, and Nicola Bryant provides another fine performance, and she gets a lot to do in the second half.

The atmosphere turns from complex and confusing to complex and weirdly fascinating. The idea of language itself being destroyed (as it starts doing in Part 3; the characters are slowly losing more and more of their vocabulary) is actually a pretty grim one, and clever writing makes the threat feel real. Much of the atmosphere is downplayed by the messy first half that risks imploding the entire adventure, but it's made up by the more tightly paced second half.

Things turn real interesting once the Doctor blocks his and Peri’s ability to say "...ish," which affects any word with that sound in it, before things are switched so that “...ish” sneaks itself into words it doesn’t belong in.

The unprecedented subject matter, brilliant acting, and surprisingly well-realised themes keep this story intriguing. Had all four episodes been similar to the first two, I would have lost interest fairly quickly and most likely given up on the story.

The climax is breathtaking, clever, and sharp, made all the better by Baker and Bryant, who put their hearts into the performances.

With a tighter-paced first half and a somewhat more coherent plot, this story would likely be another timeless classic. As it stands now, it is brilliantly original and surprisingly clever, but not the best example of an all-time great Big Finish story.

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A STORY WRITTEN BY GARETH ROBERTS, A FIGURE WHO HAS MADE HIMSELF INFAMOUS IN THE DOCTOR WHO COMMUNITY THROUGH REPEATED VILE AND NASTY COMMENTS MADE ON SOCIAL MEDIA. THIS REVIEW IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT OF HIM AS A PERSON, PURELY HIS WORK. DO NOT TAKE ANY PRAISE I LEVEL AT HIM HERE AS ADMIRATION TOWARDS HIS UTTERLY BACKWARDS VIEWPOINTS. ANYWAYS, WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, PLEASE DO ENJOY).

The Monthly Adventures #039 - “Bang-Bang-a-Boom!" by Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman

Perhaps the easiest and quickest way to ruin a perfectly good story is to make it a comedy. Comedy is hard to get right and, whilst something like horror is simply subjective, comedy will ruin a piece of media if not catered to the viewer. So, in an audio-only format, writing a humorous take on our favourite time traveller feels like walking a tightrope atop a pit of bad fan reviews and half-listens. The duo Clayton Hickman and, unfortunately, Gareth Roberts walked the tightrope once before in The Monthly Adventures #27 - “The One Doctor”, which, for the most part, succeeded and was a fun if sometimes over the top good time. So, having proven themselves as talented comedy writers before, can Hickman and Roberts replicate their first success in a Christiesque murder mystery set in space Eurovision?

The Intergalactic Song Contest is currently being overseen by Dark Space 8, a high tech monitoring station that’s just lost its commander. But luckily, a new commander is on his way, except upon entry, he is murdered. The Doctor and Mel, stumbling across the corpse, take the place of the commander and play detective as a mounting pile of corpses grows.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

I don’t think Bang-Bang-a-Boom! is a particularly good story, I don’t think it sticks with you or makes you think or makes you weep, it is simply a good bit of fun. This is a witty and intelligent script that moves like wildfire with a lightning fast yet smart and consistent plot. There is fluff that could be cut out, which I will talk about in the negatives section, but it’s never slow, simply bloated at times and I think any story that can keep such a momentum going is worthy of some credit. And I think the primary reason Bang-Bang-a-Boom! remains so entertaining is because we have such a great set of characters to listen to. It’s a Christie-like whodunit and any story trying to live up to the mother of the murder mystery has to have a compelling set of suspects, which Bang-Bang-a-Boom! brilliantly delivers on with a group of zany and all-together odd song contestants that fit right at home in space Eurovision. They’re all convincingly real people and the way each of them interacts makes for some pretty nice and subtle character growth, not something one would expect from an oddball little murder mystery. Leading our cast is of course, our regulars, this time around Seven and Mel both of whom are delightful. McCoy once again gives it his all and is characterised in this really nice sweet spot between Season 24 Seven and Season 26 Seven, cunning and plotting but still winning Eurovision with the spoons (so, Season 25 Seven, I suppose). And, I am surprised to say, I think I like Mel now. She was never really given much of a chance in the show but here, with the opportunity to be taken even a little bit seriously, Bonnie Langford delivers a really grounded and relatable performance that makes her a great pairing with the more outwardly idiosyncratic Seventh Doctor. But, of course, Bang-Bang-a-Boom! is not primarily a mystery thriller, it is a comedy… kind of. It’s not as laugh out loud funny as The One Doctor and, surprisingly enough coming from the same writing team, the whole brand of humour comes off as completely different. The One Doctor was more absurdist and Monty Pythonian - dry and nonsensical - whilst what we have here can be described more as quirky, with bombastic, loud and very proud characters all squabbling and deliberating. It’s a series of bizarre and outlandish situations juxtaposed with a murder most foul and I think it’s a little bumpy. Sometimes, it doesn’t land at all but when it does, it’s fine, there are a couple great moments, like the aforementioned winning the space Eurovision by having Seven play the spoons. Bang-Bang-a-Boom! is not a deep story, it is a fun story with a great setting and fun cast, something to turn your brain off to.

But, that doesn’t mean I can overlook its faults. For as fast and swiftly as the script moves, I think the ending drops the ball. The reveal that alien interpreter Loozly was the killer admittedly did get me, his constant affiliation with another character caused me to sort of group them together in my head and I forgot about him, but the reveal is short lived and done with forced theatrics. And after that, the story ends, shortly before the credits are interrupted by Mel prolonging the story by pointing out Loozly was going to blow up the ship and they still haven’t found the bomb. This whole section feels like a rush job with very little tension, even if there are some fun moments (once again, spoons). I think this helps contribute to another issue of the story just being too long; it’s almost two and half hours, far longer than this silly little whodunit needed to be and because of that there’s a lot of wasted time and running around aimlessly. Also, as I mentioned before, the humour is imperfect, and I have to highlight when it doesn’t work because those parts are grating on the soul. Specifically the whole subplot of one of the contestants successfully seducing the Doctor, which was painfully awkward and not in the least bit funny. On top of this, the story makes this weird choice to constantly have 1950s sci-fi b-movie sound effects pop up for emphasis such as in dramatic moments or at the end of parts and it utterly breaks the flow of what's happening, eventually becoming a common irritant. Actually, I think the whole sound design for this audio is crap, especially with some of the voices, from the orotund and exhausting Anglia to the painfully shrill Geri (another annoyingly voiced character played by Jane Goddard surprisingly, sorry Robert).

Is Bang-Bang-a-Boom! good? That remains to be seen, but it is fun. Not as much of a triumph as The One Doctor felt (it certainly has less to say) but it’s a genuinely enthralling murder mystery with some really entertaining characters and a distinct style that separates it from other, similar audios. Idiosyncratic and imperfect, it's not hard to find something to love in this odd little story.

7/10

Pros:

+ Well paced and interesting plot

+ A cast of fleshed out and likeable characters

+ The Doctor and Mel are both at their very best

+ An imperfect comedic set but one that impresses on occasion

+ The setting of an intergalactic Eurovision is incredibly fun

Cons:

- Ending that feels rushed and all together disappointing

- Awful sound design that got progressively more intrusive as the audio went on

- Far longer than it needed to be

- The humour doesn’t always land and can be soul-crushingly awkward

The Devil of Winterbourne - 8/10

When I saw that runtime, I really didn't expect to enjoy this at all, especially after the pacing issues in The Zero Imperative, but wow did this surprise me.

The pacing felt noticeably better here, there's some really gruesome imagery in there too, I'm especially thinking about the [spoiler]skinned dog head scarecrow[/spoiler] nearer the beginning. There's familiar faces from classic who, but none of them take away from the driving force of the actual plot itself like they did all too much in The Zero Imperative.

Liz gets more time to actually shine here, and you're immediately more invested with the potential of P.R.O.B.E. getting shut down. Also on thinking more, I like that P.R.O.B.E. sets itself apart from U.N.I.T. by being UK government based, rather than UN based.

Mark Gatiss' acting in this is really bad though, with his character's stammer. For the most part it's alright, but there's one scene where he's talking to Liz, and Mark seems to almost keep forgetting that his character's meant to have a stammer. There's a few characters who are meant to be like 17 or so as well, and the actors clearly aren't which takes you out of it a bit when they mention it, but isn't too bad.

As for the villain... At first when the villain was revealed I had an immediate ick. Great, a gay murderer, it's not inherently bad to do that, but it's definitely a harmful trope that's usually not great. The more it went on though, the more I actually really liked the choice to make the character gay. The murder isn't actually haunted by some devil, but he's a guy who's been convinced he's the reincarnation of this famous occultist.

If it were a straight adult man who'd been convinced of it, it'd still work, but making that person a gay teen, someone who's still growing up, who doesn't yet understand his place in the world, who probably feels othered from society even more than others his age due to his sexuality. To take a person like that and tell them they have a place, that they matter.

It just works so well, and honestly made me feel a bit emotional thinking about it.

TL:DR: I highly recommend watching this, of all the wilderness years things I've watched so far this is by far my favourite.

MR 050: Zagreus

Wow. I don't even know where to begin. Fifty audio stories. Fifty! One hundred hours of audio content. Was all of that content good? No, of course not, but it sure was content. There definitely were a lot of gems here for sure. Zagreus functions as a celebration of everything we've done so far and also a look to the future. It's very much so a wilderness years story through and through with all the positives and negatives that that entails. I'm not even sure it's good or not, but we'll work that out together shall we?

Part 1: Wonderland

Starting from the beginning. The Doctor has been infected with anti-time at the end of Neverland and yells at Charley and then hits her. To which she disappears naturally. After which she appears as a kid next to her mom who is taking her to Doctor Zagreus because she won't eat her carrots. She is then greated by the Brigadier who tells her the thing we all feel when listening to this story: "Welcome to your insanity."

Every character in this story is played by a companion or Doctor actor, which is certainly fun. It makes it a game of "spot the voice." In this first section we have Anneke Wills playing Charley's mother and Elisabeth Sladen playing Charley's school master. It's kind of wild that she's here at all. As far as I know, this is the only time Elisabeth Sladen was ever in the main range at all before she died. It makes me wonder what we could have had if Tom Baker had joined Big FInish from the beginning.

The Brigadier is not actually the Brigadier, but the hologram avatar of the TARDIS who guides Charley through a series of stories. What's happening with the Doctor during this section isn't important. He's just wandering through a series of Wonderland motifs, arguing with himself and with the ship. And the talking cat from Wonderland. He gets put in a bottle with cyanide and gets to play Schrodinger's cat before he gets to work chopping down trees with his mind, naturally.

Charley sees a series of three scenes. The TARDIS is projecting these holographic scenes like a slide show, similar to the series 12 finale. What sets it apart from that episode, however, is that Charley and the Brigadier get to interact with the scenes, taking the form of characters that the other characters expect to see. The Brigatardis is guiding her through the scenes. Much like the beginning, the TARDIS uses companions and doctors in its projections. So this first scene shows a British military base during the cold war in which the military is working on a possible weapon by ripping a hole in reality. Which is one hell of a weapon. Not sure how well that's going to go.

This military base is filled with the Fifth Doctor's companions. We have the actors for Turlough, Nyssa, Peri, and Erimem here all playing different characters. I particularly liked Nicola Bryant playing a patriotic military minded scientist working on this reality warping weapon. The Fifth Doctor himself is playing a reverand, Mathew Townsend, who is working with the scientist. He wants to rip a hole in reality to find god, or some such. You know, to figure out why some life is similar while other life isn't. I guess without referencing evolution? He does say he's not a creationist, so I'm not sure why he think this will help him solve the mysteries of the universe. Anyway, when they manage to open a hole in reality, they see some sort of mysterious species on the other side that wants to eat them. A Cuban spy (played by Nyssa's actress) kills them all with a bomb and that's the end of that.

Part 2: Heartland

The next scene has the great mother of what will eventually become the Sisterhood of Karn and her assisstant waiting for the surviving vampire council of three. With one of vampires, Tepesh, being the Sixth Doctor, which is a cute choice. You guessed it, this is the Sixth Doctor section with the actresses for Evelyn, Peri, and Mel. Only Mel's character gets eaten by the Doctor's vampire.

They sneak their way into Rassilon's Foundry, which is his giant workshop and they see Charley as Rassilon, which is kind of hilarious. Then we get a giant lore dump. We learn that Rassilon is experimenting with regeneration, limiting it to thirteen regenerations, but not for him. He gets to live forever with no limit, naturally. As if that wasn't enough to tarnish Rassilon's legacy, we then learn that Rassilon is effectively a fascist. He hates everything that doesn't look like Gallifreyans. There's no real reason given for this either, other than that he's afraid of anything else challenging the Time Lords' supremacy over the galaxy. So he genetically modified all life in the universe, using time travel to influence their evolution, so that it would conform to Gallifreyan physiology. So, you know, fascist.

Rassilon also say a species that was supposed to appear at the end of the universe and destroy it, like the Reapers from Mass Effect. They also feel like the Ravenous from the later Eighth Doctor series. I wonder how much the writers there were influenced by Zagreus. So he sealed time into a time loop. Once it ends, it circles back and begins again, so that these Reapers, or Divergence as the story calls them, can never enter the universe to destroy it and thus destroy Time Lord supremacy. He sealed these Divergence in a pocket universe running on his desk, the Divergent Universe. Catchy name. This is probably the one decent thing he's done. For the wrong reasons, sure, but keeping the universe from being destroyed seems like a good thing.

He can't get a single W before going back to being a fascist, however, because as it turns out, the vampires used to only drink the blood of mindless genetically bred animals, but Rassilon looking to genocide them forced the vampires to start going after sentient species. It sounds to me like they had animal farms where they raised livestock to eat, but Raassilon forcing them off planet made them have to seek other means. And thus they became the ancient enemy of the Time Lords.

The Foundry draws power from the divergent universe. So when the brigatardis advises Charley to turn off the power, the divergent creatures can break through. The Foundry automatically destroys itself to keep them from escaping. This scenario is also where the brigatardis starts to act not very nice. Indeed, the Doctor figures out that the anti-time that infected him and turned into Zagreus also infected the TARDIS itself as well. Zagreus is both of them: TARDIS and Doctor.

The final scene has Charley being a mouse in battle armour where she's the leader of an animal army against human animatronics. It's a theme park where the animatronics are fighting over their creator. The Animator, Walton Winkle, or Uncle Winkie. Finally, this is the Seventh Doctor scenario with the actresses for Ace, Mel, and Bernice. They wake up the Animator, played by the Seventh Doctor, who is distraught to learn that it's the end of the universe and all the people are dead. Nobody to enjoy his theme park anymore. It definitely feels like this was supposed to be Walt Disney and this is Disneyland. The nickname is even a reference to the nickname "Uncle Walt." There's lots of references to Disneyland here too like the pirate ride or the fairies or the mountain (Disneyland famously has four mountains: Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, and the Matterhorn).

The park has been moved around several times and is now on the old ruins of Gallifrey, where the Foundry used to stand. I found it quite amusing how the animatronics were being influence by the Divergence and so woke up Unckle Winkie to operate the controls. Since the animatronics can't reach the controls with their stubby little arms, you see. Unfortunately, Uncle Winkie was put into suspended animation to survive his heart condition (another reference to the famous urband legend of Walt Disney being frozen in suspended animation), and he then dies of it, right before seeing the Divergence try to escape their universe one more time.

Finally, after the slideshow is done, Charley is pulled back into the console room where the Doctor and the TARDIS are having a bit of an argument. The Doctor deletes rooms while the brigadtardis dumps the Doctor's stuff out the TARDIS door, electing to dump Charley out the door as well.

You thought that was the end? No, this thing is FOUR HOURS. No all that was just the prologue. Leela is on Gallifrey because season fifteen had a dumb ending and she meets with President Romana because she has a message from Rassilon. Ok cool? As if there wasn't enough going on. Again, FOUR HOURS. And then Charley and the three Doctor characters from the projections: Matthew Townsend, Tepesh, and Uncle Winkie, are all in the Death Zone on Gallifrey.

Part 3: Wasteland

This is the most bizzare of all of the parts. So far it's just been a slideshow projection (albeit one that Charley can interact with), but now... it's still a slideshow projection, albeit one in the Matrix. Everything is in the Matrix from this point on, I think.

Leela leads Romana to the dark tower and Rassilon's tomb (from The Five Doctors) where Rassilon wants Romana to resign and wants her to sign a paper saying she resigns and makes Zagreus the new President. Ok, bizarre. Romana won't, obviously, so he mind controls Leela to attack her. I like how during these scenes Leela gets upset that Romana calls her stupid over and over again. Romana exhibiting the Time Lord arrogance that Rassilon was known for here.

After some banter between the Doctor actors (not the Doctors) and Charley, the Jabberwock from Alice in Wonderland appears. They have to say some nonsense and the Jabberwock allows them to ride it... all the way to the top of the dark tower. They solve the chess board from the Five Doctors to get in and then the brigatardis and Rassilon torture the Doctor.

This part I find very interesting. It's set up for how Doctor Who treats the Doctor's relationship with his ship going forwards, especially in The Doctor's Wife. The TARDIS is a fourth dimensional sentient being. Yes, the Doctor is very into self-sacrifice. That's his go to move. It's all well and good trapping the station inside the TARDIS so that the anti-time bomb explodes on him. But he didn't ask the TARDIS if she was ok with it. She's the Doctor's oldest friend and the Doctor is willing to sacrifice her without a second thought. But he's constantly trying to make sure his companions don't die. The TARDIS is actually jealous of the Doctor's companions. From her perspective, the Doctor and the TARDIS have been together for hundreds of years. How long has he known Charley? A year at most perhaps? The TARDIS even rants about how there's always girls inside of her and how she's always jealous.

As if we weren't done destroying Rassilon's reputation, we also see a frozen super nova that Rassilon has suspended. Simply because it was a solar system that could have rivaled the Time Lords. He's not content to simply compete. He fixes the competition in advance. The Time Lords will not be just another empire that rises and falls. They will last forever because nobody will ever be able to challenge them. That is the timeline that they strive to maintain. Their precious web of time. The one single timeline where they are always in charge of time forever, thanks to Rassilon. It's such a interesting idea. If you have access to time travel, why not go back in time and rig things in your favour? And then we see how that will turn out with the Time War.

The three not Doctors turn out to be sort of the Doctor? Question mark? They've elements of the Doctor's personality in them. They find the Doctor hammering away at a sword on an anvil, creating it. Rassilon is going to use him, as Zagreus to fight the Divergence with his sword. The sword is created from the TARDIS after it was melted down. I feel like the brigatardis would object to that, but he's ok with it somehow. Rassilon kills all the not-Doctors and then the Doctor begs Charley to kill him in a reverse of what happened in Neverland. Rassilon even says "you've played out this farce before." And it is a farce now since we've already seen it happen. It's kind of hilarious that Charley actually does it. She stabs him, but the Doctor doesn't regenerate.

I liked this little scene, mostly because it's the only time the Doctors are actually playing their Doctors, where the previous Doctors are all like "welp, he didn't regenerate oh well" They're all very flippant. Instead the Doctor becomes Zagreus permanently, at least for the next five minutes. Rassilon thinks he's got Zagreus under control, but Zagreus throws him into the Divergent universe instead of following his orders, refusing to be his puppet. Which is cute, Zagreus has a personality of his own. Rassilon thought he could control the anti-time creature, not so Rassilon.

It turns out, being melted down was the best thing for the TARDIS. The brigatardis comes back, cured of the anti-time infection, and gives the Doctor a bit of zero matter. You mean to tell me all of this could have been ended four hours ago if the Doctor had a bit of a lie down in a zero room? Really? The Doctor wants to go into the Divergent universe to quarantine himself because the anti-time is still there, the Zagreus personality just isn't there anymore. He does the whole "go on, get out of here, just go" throwing a rock at a dog trope you do in movies to protect them with Charley. Which is incredibly condescending. Even I felt how condescending it was. It's Charley's choice. She feels like there's nothing for her in this universe. If she wants to go with you, she will. And she does, sneaking in the TARDIS's back door(!!!???!??!?!?!?!?)

And that's that. I can definitely see the influence it's had. It's the first time, as far as I know, where we've really delved into the Doctor's relationship with the TARDIS itself. We see a lot of later companions in Charley as well, willing to defy the Doctor when he's talking nonsense. I like that kind of companion, for sure. She feels very influential on companions like Rose, Donna, Amy, River, Clara, and Liv.

A huge part of its legacy, too, is deconstructing Rassilon's legacy. Omega did a number on it, of course, where Rassilon took the credit for Omega's invention of time travel. This one certainly blows all of that out of the water. Rassilon did everything he could to make sure Gallifrey was the dominant empire in the galaxy, unquestioned, unchallenged. He did whatever he liked with time, up to and including manipulating the evolution of ever other species in the universe.

However, as a piece on its own, I don't know if I can recommend it. It's too long and drawn out. Do you like slide shows? Because you're getting a bunch of them. Personally, I liked the Doctor actors playing different characters because I've just listened to fifty audio dramas with them and I know there's way more, but that's just me. It made for a nice change of pace. But a lot of what was happening here with the Eighth Doctor wandering around the TARDIS in wonderland could absolutely have been cut. It's far too long. Does it really need to be four hours? It makes a lot of classic who serials look positively fast paced and snappy by comparison. It definitely feels like a hot mess, but it was an enjoyable hot mess.

Was pretty good. Charley and Six's dynamic was fun, and the guy being killed and forced to possess the house is so freakin cool and scary at the same time.

I'm afraid I don't have anything more coherent to say than "Now, that was Doctor Who!" I have always been the biggest Master fan, and I am very pleased to finally have watched his first story (and no, I will not tolerate any "what about the war games?" jokers). It was exactly what I expected - in a good way - and very much fit the format I've grown to recognise and love from Delgado era stories. Apart from the wonderful and (relatively) subtle homosexual undertones, the excellent use of Autons, and the general criticism of the military, the other thing I thought was done very well was the introduction of a new companion - Jo's character was established quickly and efficiently, and I found it was very easy to grow attached to her and worry for her wellbeing, even though this was her first story. Bravo!

And Neil Cross never wrote for Doctor Who again... and good! He had two cracks at it, both of which in my opinion simply did not work. I do not feel like Hide should not have led to Rings of Akhatan being commissioned.

Hide has frustratingly muddled storytelling. It is initially a brilliantly chilling ghost story, tapping into well loved 1970s horror tropes; then transitions into a generic adventure story, chucking the atmosphere out the window; then rushes awkwardly to the end as an even less focused love story. Its a mishmash of so many uncomplimentary flavours, after what had been initially a very pleasant ride.

​At points it feels like bits had been hacked out of the story in the edit. The ending is especially random and hurried. Its a shame as the cast is brilliant and the production looks phenomenal.

Series 7 does feel like the show is at a point where it has slightly lost its footing.

Some awful voice acting here.

But cool to hear the Rani.

I’m hot and cold on Mark Gatiss' scripts but I think this is a pretty good one.

The return of the Ice Warriors is spine tingling. Big fan. Taking the Ice Warrior out of its shell is a nice way of moving it on and making it a bit different. The fully suited Ice Warrior is fantastic, the unsuited Ice Warrior seen in fleeting glimpses and seen just as its hands is also fantastic, but when you see the CGI head it’s a little less flattering.

I love the model shots of the submarine, even if it could have been done a little more elegantly with a bigger model or with a model with CGI touch ups. Regardless, it’s far more interesting than just using CGI which would be the standard of the era.

David Warner is a treat. There is real heart to his performance. It’s a star studded cast. You can see actors who go on to star in significant long running roles in The Crown and Happy Valley. Clara and The Doctor have insane chemistry.

The Russian language translation circuit workaround is handled well. Allowing you to have British actors convincingly deliver the dialogue.

The inclusion of 80s music is a nice reminder of the era it’s set in given there are so few other signifiers within the setting. The constant flowing water is another killer aspect.

For the first two thirds there is a beautifully moody atmosphere which builds and builds into something compelling. The wind gets let out of its sails in the last third and I’m not exactly sure why. The Ice Warrior ship turning up and picking up the commander feels neat but unsatisfying. The tension gets lost.

The Monthly Adventures #038 - “The Church and the Crown" by Cavan Scott and Mark Wright

Cavan Scott and Mark Wright are a writing duo I find myself conflicted by. Sometimes, they’ll deliver some of my absolute favourite stories, like Project: Twilight, and sometimes they’ll deliver b-movie fluff like Project: Destiny. It really feels like a gamble going into any of their stories and very often they can vary wildly in tone. And I don’t think there’s a better example of this than the difference between the pair’s previous audio and this one. A truly grimy, grim and bloody tale about vampires in the back alleys of London is now followed up by a lightly comedic pure historical that ends up being one of the most fun Doctor Who-related experiences I’ve had in a while.

The TARDIS brings the crew to Paris in the reign of Louis XIII for Erimem’s first trip, where the trio find themselves once again wrapped up in a game of cloak and dagger, this one exacerbated by Peri’s striking resemblance to Queen Anne.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

Considering Scott and Wright’s other outputs, the last thing I was expecting was a slight little comedy like this. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that comedy is The Church and the Crown’s biggest strength. It’s a very dry and realistic approach to humour that really works in the context of the pure historical and manages to brighten what is otherwise a somewhat uneventful script. Whilst there is nothing outwardly slapstick, the dialogue is enough to get a chuckle out of anyone and some lines are absolute gold, such as:

“BUCKINGHAM: You would dare to take on one of the finest swordsmen in England?

DOCTOR: Hasn't anybody told you? We're in France!”

, which was perhaps the best bit of dialogue I’ve heard in a Big Finish story as of now. But, for dialogue to be effective, the people delivering it too have to be somewhat interesting so how does our cast fair? Actually, really well. This is a set of genuinely fun characters with some incredible performances, from the two drunken and vain musketeers to the whiny, jealous Louis XIII. Nicola Bryant duel wields roles as both Peri and the endlessly brilliant Queen Anne (who is easily my favourite character from this stellar line up) and Erimem continues to grow on me. I wasn’t expecting her to blow me away when I listened to The Eye of the Scorpion but she’s so effortlessly cool and easily likeable here that I immediately took to her. With her now on my good side, I’m convinced there isn’t a single bad original companion in The Monthly Adventures. Overall, we have on our hands a really smart and witty script that is a delight to sit through, so where exactly does it go wrong?

I want to clarify that when I praise the script, I mean the characters, structure and flow of the whole thing, I am not referring to the story. And, as sad as it may be, I think the plot here is relatively lacking in substance. It’s one of those quaint little stories that isn’t too stand out but also isn’t outright bad in any way that just sort of leaves you lukewarm. The narrative is nothing if not derivative, boiling down to a series of captures and releases without much substance in between. Buckingham’s plot doesn’t thrill me, I’m not invested in the cloak and dagger of it all and I’m certainly not into all the second guessing and espionage our main characters have to take a part in. Plus, the central gimmick of the story is a companion doppelganger affair, a trope that’s been done to death by this point and fails to impress here; I like Peri and Queen Anne respectively but I find that the subplot of the former’s imprisonment goes nowhere and the whole thing feels pointless. In addition, where the story does try to say something original, or give a little more originality to itself, it fails. There’s a moment or two where the Doctor and Peri stop to consider whether or not they’re changing history. They eventually decide they’re not and have always been a part of events; this whole moment feels like a waste of time and clarification of a point that didn’t need to be made, as if Scott and Wright were trying to say something about the Doctor’s constant meddling with time but failed.

However, an underwhelming plot does not ruin an immensely fun story. Saved by the cast and comedy, The Church and the Crown is a bizarre departure in tone and subject for two often grimdark writers that I think succeeds brilliantly. Not one for originality but absolutely a fun time with a stellar cast, well worth a listen.

8/10

Pros:

+ Genuinely really funny, Scott and Wright have a surprising penchant for humour

+ Erimimem is very quickly growing on me as a favourite

+ Smart, intelligent and fun script

+ Great cast of likeable and despicable characters

Cons:

- The story feels overwhelmingly derivative

- The look-a-like plot feels like a retread of previous stories

- The attempt to address the Doctor’s meddlings with history is poorly done

I just loved The Maltese Penguin. While nothing overly substantial in terms of story, it was a pitch perfect homage to film noir. Frobisher is also just such a fun idea for a character, too. I wish we got more of him or other weird aliens travelling with the doctor, especially in alternative media from television where this sort of thing can be explored more in the future.

I really liked how the lady turned out to be Francine, Frobisher's ex-wife. That was a funny little part of the mystery, and I liked all the characters in this story. The idea of this world being hostile to an original idea and the whole economy collapses in the face of it was entertaining, too. There's just enough details and ideas here to make it easy to follow the audio from start to finish. Robert Shearman remains a rock-solid writer in just about anything with his name attached to it that I come across.

Zarodnix is a real Morbhead

Great story, 8 and c’rizz get a lot of development but Charlie’s a little lacking. After leaving the divergent universe her character development really slowed down.

Simultaneously goes from absolutely great to horrible in the blink of an eye with not even 4 minutes of runtime. It’s impressive honestly. One second the Doctor is space Gandalf (stupid and also amazing), and then Amy is trying to kiss the Doctor again (stupid and not amazing).

It fluctuates to irrational degrees between Steven Moffat the profound moment writer and Steven Moffat the uses one hand writer. It’s either peak or whatever the kids use for the opposite of that, and nothing in between, so the score is actually the in between.

Seeing past companions is kinda fun. It’s good that kinda boundaries between the Doctor and Amy’s relationship are set? Idk man I’m rambling it’s great and it’s also not so it’s fine.

A really fantastic dramatic instalment concerning the hunt for the missing Arborecc onboard the Space Security Station. The twist that Major McLinn has been turning people onboard the space station into Daleks really pushes the characters emotionally, especially with one of the Daleks being Mark Seven's friend Felicity. It does have shades of Parting Of The Ways, but the idea of Dalek conversions always works well from a dramatic perspective.

A scene that really stands out is when the Arborecc Dalek begs to be 'exterminated'. It's heartbreaking and reflects how harsh the major's actions are. He is weaponising people onboard his space station without their permission, and turning them into the thing they hate.

An action-packed opener to Dalek Universe 2. It gives some interesting backstory to Mark Seven, being set on his home planet, and revealing that the android's parents were killed by Daleks.

The bear-like creatures feel like excellent traditional Doctor Who monsters also. Despite being called Dalek Universe, the box set does a great job at building plenty of new characters outside of the Daleks too.

Didn't expect to be hit with the professor being transphobic in the first 4 minutes (/j to be clear, he just a comment he makes about Jorjie's singing saying she should try voice training that took me out and had to pause for laughter)

I ended up waiting about an hour or so after watching the episode to write this review, and I've already forgotten a lot of what happened. Good aliens was a nice change of pace and made me realize that we've had surprisingly few of them for how much The Department is meant to be villainous.

The aliens themselves were kind of interesting, and the effects weren't half bad this time. The acting unfortunately still very much was.

Overall, 4/10

8️⃣⏹️ = VERY GOOD!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“CHRISTIAN DINOSAURS!”

Another BBC Original set on a ship, this time the Blue Groper in the late 18th century, a ship filled with convicts and a professor on their way to uncover evidence of dinosaurs.

The first part of the story slowly but effectively sets the scene and builds the atmosphere onboard the Blue Groper during its voyage to Luna Puesta.

There's good time devoted to characterisation, both between Martha and the Doctor and between Martha and the crew. I also like the exploration of scientific research of the time and how it was deeply tied to faith.

On the other hand, the story slows down a lot in the middle and barely builds up to anything until the ship arrives at the island. It then arrives at a very minimalistic and slightly disappointing conclusion.

Martha is written and used well, with Russell utilising her education to make her useful in the story. I also like the passion shown by Professor Tomlinson.

Gary Russell easily could've gone for another Silurian or Sea Devil encounter here, but fortunately, he decides to make up a new aquatic reptile species instead, the Mantisaurs, which are friendly aliens. They aren't very fleshed out but feel like a breath of fresh (sea) air.

Seán Carlsen narrates with great energy, giving the characters distinct voices—his Captain Sadler is great, and his Professor Tomlinson sounds a bit like Stephen Noonan’s First Doctor. His Ten fluctuates between accurate and very flat, and his Martha is fine. It's occasionally hard to distinguish between the Doctor and Martha in scenes where they are talking to each other.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

• So, the TARDIS stops bullets now. Seven could've used that when he was gunned downin front of the TARDIS in Doctor Who.

6️⃣🔽 = FINE!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“A BOAT BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!”

The first season of The Lost Stories comes to an end with The Macros, a story written by Ingrid “the worst guest actress in the history of the show” Pitt and her husband Tony Rudlin and dealing with the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment, which attempted to turn the USS Eldridge invisible.

Our story kicks off with Six and Peri materialising on the USS Eldridge, but on a different spatial and temporal plane than the crew of the ship. It’s a slightly confusing and very mysterious beginning to the adventure.

This is the sort of historical story that suggests alien involvement in a seemingly strange real-life occurrence. It’s much more interested in exploring the dimensions and timey-wimey science than the actual event and the people involved, though.

There’s a strong sci-fi element here as well in the form of Planet Capron and its ruler Osloo (a sneaky nod to Norway, I’m sure!) which just feels like a shoehorned element in a historical event that could work well without it. The worst part is that the script is so interested in Capron and its tiresome court politics that it leaves no room for the historical narrative to flourish.

Part 1 rolls along but does nothing to make the characters interesting or the story interesting to listen to. The shocking cliffhanger reignites my interest for Part 2.

Part 2 gets more focused on actually solving the problem at hand, but it’s too little, too late. It’s a pity, because the second half is more dramatic and a bit more tense as well.

The President doesn’t turn truly interesting until Part 2, when she opposes the Doctor and his attempt to save the day. I also love the climax and the little twist ending—something of a mashup of The Time Monster and The Sun Makers.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

• This story was apparently twice lost, because when BF contacted Pitt and Rudlin about adapting their unmade script for The Macros, they had just lost their computer, which held the original scripts, meaning that they lost access to Part 2 and parts of Part 1 and had to recreate the story from memory.

8️⃣🔽 = VERY GOOD!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“WHODUNIT IN THE SNOW!”

Here we have a classic set-up of a bunch of people stuck (snowed in) in a location (a hotel in this case) and haunted by monsters.

The supporting characters are fleshed out properly by this character-driven plot, and they feel believable.

It's a fairly contained story, but Mark Wright's writing makes it vivid, and Mina Anwar’s northern accent is perfect for the narration.

The tension is slowly but steadily built, culminating in the reveal of the alien monsters.

The monsters kill the characters one by one, and the dire situation forces the strangers to work together, but despite this, the adventure can feel a bit slow in the middle.

Also, Rose and the Doctor (in particular) feel sidelined.

The story picks up momentum again once we learn about the true nature of one of the characters (he's a reptile alien) and when he escorts Rose to his spaceship.

I like the twist that reveals that some of the humans we meet here are actually aliens under disguise and part of a crew of criminals on the run from the law (and that law is the titular beast of Scar Hill).

5️⃣🔽 = MIDDLING!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“RAIDERS OF THE LOST SPEAR!”

This is a simple little heist story involving Viking artefacts and a visit to a Viking village in Uppsala, Sweden, to find Odin's lost spear. This leads to a standard fair Third Doctor story: they get captured, spend time chatting, meet the Master, and escape, only for Jo to get recaptured and be sacrificed. It then speeds through all of these familiar elements to reach the climax with all characters gathered in one room.

The strangest thing about this is how we supposedly witness the origin of Old Norse mythology, as the Viking characters we meet are the “real-life” Vikings Odin, Thor, and the rest are modelled after. Sadly, the story does very little in terms of exploring these characters, and they remain little more than pawns.

Another weird thing is that this story turns into a bit of an Indiana Jones adventure, as we learn that Odin's spear is the Spear of Destiny, which was thrust into Jesus as he hung on the cross and was later hunted down by Hitler during the war, to be used as a weapon against his enemies. And it's just one of several old artefacts with great power that the Time Lords are trying to track down.

The Master is shoehorned into the story. He has no real purpose, and the story would've worked just as well without him.

The author narrates his story with a flat tone, not giving his characters a lot of personality. It doesn't help that his Three and Jo aren't very recognisable in the first place.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

• It's great how the story seeks to address a lot of the prominent myths surrounding the Vikings. It even mentions the fact that they are the only people who named one of the days of the week after their bathing day (Saturday).