It’s crazy that not too long ago this would be either at my second of all time favourite Fifth Doctor story, but it just goes to show the resurgence the Fifth Doctor has had in recent years. The Caves of Androzani is regarded by many as one of if not the best episode in the show’s history. Whenever you look up such lists online, if it’s not at No.1 it’s definitely in the top 5. I know fans who absolutely despise the Fifth Doctor but still say this is one of Doctor Who’s all time greats, and not just for the fact that it kills the Fifth Doctor.

This is a regeneration story that is everything the Modern Who regenerations stories continuously miss the point on. Pretty much all of Modern Who’s regeneration stories try to be these big universe ending stories with the Doctor’s impending regeneration constantly being foreshadowed or in some cases being the driving force of the plot. They have habit of glorifying the Doctor’s death when honestly, it’s more impactful the more downplayed and simpler it is. In this story the Doctor’s dying right from the get-go and he doesn’t even realise that until the near halfway point, it comes from something so simple as touching an unknown plant. From there the Doctor and Peri are put through a brutally unforgiving story as they’re captured, almost executed, chased by sadistic killers and in the case of Peri being leered over by the Phantom of the Opera.

Sharaz Jek is an all-time great Doctor Who villain, not exactly evil as they give him a tragic backstory and motivation for waging a small war against the government of Androzani Major, but he’s still an intimidating figure who can snap without warning. Christopher Gable gives an intense and unsettling performance as Sharaz Jek, it blows my mind that they originally wanted David Bowie in the role (yes that David Bowie), but I feel that celebrity casting would’ve been distracting. Here Christopher Gable showcases a performance that gets downright uncomfortable at certain points. There’s a scene in particular where he’s alone with Peri that I’m honestly shocked they were allowed to air given the implications. It’s made more uncomfortable by Nicola Bryant’s performance as Peri who’s absolutely incredible playing off Sharaz Jek’s creepy advances and insane ranting, just that look on her face when he strokes her hair, that winced expression mixed with utter terror is just gold.

But as if one great villainous performance wasn’t enough, we get two with John Normington as Morgus, it’s one of those performances where he’s just relishing every moment of how evil he is but he never goes too far, which makes it all the more unsettling, some of his best moments involve him talking to himself while looking directly at the camera, it was unintentional and a miscommunication between him and the director but it was brilliantly performed that they kept it in.

This was the first Doctor Who episode directed by Graeme Harper who went on to direct a few major episodes in the Russel T. Davies era, he brings a more cinematic vibe than most Classic Who stories, and it works excellently. Notably the cliff-hanger to part three which is my all-time favourite Doctor Who cliff-hanger, the editing and sound design is top notch as the Doctor hijacks a mercenary ship and races back to Androzani Minor to rescue Peri, all while holding off his regeneration and with a gun pointed at him. If you don’t watch this story then I do urge you to at least check out the cliff-hanger, it’s incredibly executed and gives me goosebumps every time! For as timid and non-threatening as the Fifth Doctor is often described as, this was his most badass moment!

Then we come to the ending, and oh what an ending this is, the Doctor finds the antidote to the poison that’s been slowly killing him and Peri all episode but there’s not enough for them both. If this were written by Russel, he’d probably have the Doctor crying and screaming about how he can do “so much more!” or how he “doesn’t want to go” and all that crap. But thankfully he isn’t and the Fifth Doctor without a moment’s hesitation uses the last of his energy to give Peri the antidote. Then he calmly and gently says goodbye to Peri as he begins to regenerate and the faces of all his past companions and the Master swirl around in his head before a new Doctor sits bolt upright. Ending on a gold line that change has happened and not a moment too soon. This is the best regeneration in all of Doctor Who and until Modern Who gets a clue how to handle these scenes it’ll continue to stay that way; no crying, no speeches, no nostalgia baiting, the closest they ever got was Parting of the Ways but unfortunately that came before they went off the rails with regeneration stories.

There’s not much else to say really, even for fans who never liked the Fifth Doctor, there’s no denying that he went out with a bang. But more importantly this story answers the age old mystery that everyone wanted to know from the Fifth Doctor’s very beginning…..just why does he wear that celery?????

i desire sharaz jek carnally

I do really like stories like this that are just an absolute nightmare scenario for the Doctor and their companion(s). I'm a big proponent of the philosophy that beating the hell out of your characters is how you get some of the best character moments and this serial does not disappoint.

Five sacrificing himself to save Peri at the end was incredible and heartbreaking, and you have to feel a bit horrible for Peri because then she has to put up with Six for the rest of her tenure as a companion, and that probably weighs very heavily on her.

The first time I watched The Caves of Androzani, I didn't like it. After a recent rewatch, I have come to realise that this was more due to the circumstance in which I watched it, not the serial's quality: I had been binging Doctor Who really hard and the Fifth Doctor was starting to drag a bit, so I couldn't wait to get to the Sixth Doctor's run. Following my rewatch, I can no longer deny that this is an absolutely excellent, stand-out, serial. It's tightly written and I think that the characters are really well done - I feel that there is some aspect of moral-ambiguity in each supporting character. The first and third cliffhangers were really good, although I do feel that the second was increadibly unecessary. Moreover, I felt that some of the special effects weren't great. Other than that, a great serial.

I'll be perfectly honest, I can't see why this story is rated so highly. While it followed the trend for the last two serials of actually giving the Fifth Doctor a personality (and how disappointing is that, that I only started liking him at the very end), it drops the ball in all other aspects.

It's meant to be a bleak and dark story where everyone sucks and everyone dies. While I can appreciate dark stories, I don't think this one did it well. Horror of Fang Rock has everyone die at the end, but at least some of the characters were likeable and you expected someone other than the Doctor and companion to make it put alive. It was the first story to do something like this, so it came as a surprise. Midnight was a bleak and dark story where almost everyone sucked, but you had at least a character or two who were somewhat likeable. There needs to be a balance. This story doesn't have it.

Zek is clearly based on the Phantom of the Opera. There are characters and stories I like that are based on earlier works, but again, it's a matter of execution. This episode came out more than seventy years after the original book was published, and the "deformed villain" trope was already a tired one. I knew that when he inevitably removed his mask he'd have a few burn scars that aren't nearly as horrifying as everyone in the story claims. His coming-ons to Peri are deeply uncomfortable and feel gratuitous and unnecessary. The original Phantom had something to offer Christine, and she was interested in him, at least at first. The whole thing strips Peri of her agency and turns her into nothing but a damsel getting dragged from place to place by men. Considering how much agency she had in the previous story, this is a serious step back.

Then there's Morgus. Like Zek, he's a flat, single-minded character. His focus is capitalism. I like anti-capitalist messages, but what we get eith Morgus is a rehash of previous anti-capitalist stories. His fourth-wall breaks really took me out of the story; I kept expecting other characters to comment on what he was saying.

Chellak feels like a re-skin of the Brigadier. He distrusts the Doctor at first, follows his orders, then works with the Doctor to defeat the enemy. He's good for the most part, but he's also willing to sacrifice other people to preserve his reputation.

So that's the characters, but what about the story? Well, I didn't like it either (obviously). I was fully ready for it to be a commentary on unending wars where neither side is willing to surrender or approach peace talks (you don't negotiate with terrorists! How topical), but instead it went the anti-capitalist route, treading common ground. Unfortunately, it doesn't do anything interesting with it. At the end Zek dies without compensation, Morgus is replace with his assistant who doesn't seem to want to actually *change* anything (seriously, she could have come forward much earlier and exposed him. She clearly had all the proof lined up, and the president seemed decent enough to believe her. She allowed innocent people to die for much too long), and we're back where we started.

And finally, the Doctor regenerates, and starts a brand new era being extremely condescending to Peri, which doesn't give me high hopes for the rest of my time with ol' Sixie.

I've tried discussing this serial with people who love it to understand what I might have missed, but my opinion remains unchanged. Maybe one day I'll rewatch and change my mind. I hope so.