DOCTOR: So, you've had a busy day, Vicki? Hmm?

VICKI: Yes, it was. Oh, something else I forgot to tell you. I think I've poisoned Nero.

DOCTOR: Really. What?

VICKI: Well, I didn't actually do it, but his wife was going to murder some poor slave or other and I didn't see why that should happen, so I thought

DOCTOR: For heavens sake, child, keep quiet. What did you do?

VICKI: Well, I swapped the drinks round.

DOCTOR: And I told you not to interfere with history. Come along, quickly, quickly child!

LOBOS: Where have you come from?!

DOCTOR: If you take a look into your screen, perhaps you will find that out?

(walruses swimming)

LOBOS: What are these creatures?

DOCTOR: Just some old friends of mine.

LOBOS: But these are amphibious creatures. You are not an amphibian.

DOCTOR: Oh, I'm not, am I?

(the Doctor dressed in Edwardian bathing costume and straw boater)

DALEK: (trying to drown out the Doctor) I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant.

POLLY: But don't you see? Human beings can't be friends with Daleks. They don't have friends.

VALMAR: I don't see why not.

POLLY: It's a kind of hatred for anything unlike themselves. They think they're superior.

TERRALL: Doctor. No doubt you're a keen student of human nature, but some things are better left alone.

DOCTOR: No, Mister Terrall, I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy, of which human nature is merely a part. All forms of life interest me.

HENDERSON: Hello! How are you feeling?

DOCTOR: Shoes.

HENDERSON: I beg your pardon?

DOCTOR: Shoes.

NURSE: They seem to be worrying him, sir. I think he believes they've been stolen.

HENDERSON: Well, if he wants them, he might as well. Where are they, nurse?

NURSE: In his locker.

(Henderson takes a pair of black shiny shoes from the bedside locker.)

HENDERSON: Ah! Are these what you're looking for?

(The Doctor grabs them and rolls over, clutching the shoes to his chest.)

BRIGADIER: What the blazes is that? Some kind of ornament?

YATES: Not exactly, sir. Watch.

(Yates throws a rock at Bok, who zaps it into atoms.)

BRIGADIER: Yes, I see what you mean. Never mind, we'll soon fix him. Jenkins!

JENKINS: Sir.

BRIGADIER: Chap with the wings there. Five rounds rapid.

(No effect, of course.)

SARAH: Linx?

DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps you're lucky enough not to have met him yet. Nasty, brutish and short just about sums him up.

Styre: I shall kill you all now, but first I have more important tasks to perform.

(Styre goes into his spaceship)

(In another corridor they come across guards in protective gear.)

DOCTOR: Excuse me, can you help me? I'm a spy.

(And he bangs their heads together.)

(Leela has an old man at knife-point. A bicycle lies at their feet.)

LEELA: He came armed and silent.

DOCTOR: You must have been sent by Providence.

MOSS: No, I was sent by the Council to cut the verges.

LEELA: Your Council should choose its warriors more carefully. A child of the Sevateem could have taken you.

MOSS: Escaped from somewhere, hasn't she? If you're her doctor, you shouldn't let her wander around loose. She could do someone a damage.

LEELA: He was not hunting us?

DOCTOR: No. Would you like a jelly baby?

MOSS: You've both escaped from somewhere, haven't you.

DOCTOR: Frequently. What's the nearest village?

BORUSA: Doctor!

DOCTOR: I am here to claim my legal right.

BORUSA: What?

DOCTOR: I claim the inheritance of Rassilon. I claim the titles, honour, duty and obedience of all colleges. I claim the Presidency of the Council of Time Lords.

ROMANA: How many were on your ship?

TRYST: Ah, well, to begin with there was ten, but we lost one.

ROMANA: How?

TRYST: He died.

ROMANA: How did he die?

TRYST: He died.

SOLDEED: My dreams of conquest! You have brought this calamity upon me!

SKAGRA: Take over the universe? How childish. Who could possibly want to take over the universe?

DOCTOR: Exactly. That's what I keep telling people. It's a troublesome place, difficult to administer. And as a piece of real estate, it's worthless, because by definition there'd be no one to sell it to.

CHRONOTIS: More tea, my dear?

ROMANA: Lovely. Two lumps, no sugar.

DOCTOR: Why can't people be nice to one another, just for a change. I mean, I'm an alien, and you don't want to drag me into a swamp, do you. You do.

DOCTOR: Look, the sun's coming up. You're right, it is morning. Tremas, you know what I need more than anything else in the universe?

TREMAS: No, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Breakfast. Is your place far?

Celery: You called him a carrot!

"Well he is!" countered Peri angrily. And before she could stop herself added, "I should know, I've eaten enough of them recently!"

Carrot: What?!

Celery: Murderer!

Carrot: She eats vegetables.. Run! Hide!

Tomato: Wha--

Tomato: Thank goodness I'm not one zzzzz

'Why, they're vegetables!' exclaimed Peri, perhaps louder than she would have wished!

Dum: NOHOW!

Dee: Contrariwise.

"Yes, you are," countered Peri, loftily. "You're turnips!" Anxiously, she wondered how they'd take this apparently startling revelation."

Dum: NOHOW! We're poets.

Dee: You like poetry?

"Ye-es," replied Peri, before she could stop herself. This whole scene had begun to take on a discomforting familiarity."

Dum: What shall we tell her? The Walnut and the Cauliflower is the longest.

Dee: I'll start! 'Ahem' 'The Sun was shining on the allotment...

Dum: ...And the cauliflower were walking through the weeds'

Dee: 'They wept like anything to see so many wasted seeds.'

MEL: Doctor, before this regeneration you were on keen on cats and you know what curiosity did to them.

DOCTOR: Leave the quotes to the expert, Mel.

(They go along a cat walk to the cliff wall under the launch platform.)

MURRAY: Hey, this doesn't look like Disneyland.

DOCTOR: No, well, according to my reckoning, it seems to be somewhere in, er, Wales.

GUARD: Oh, you've no idea what a relief it is for me to have such a stimulating philosophical discussion. There are so few intellectuals about these days. Tell me, what do you think of the assertion that the semiotic thickness of a performed text varies according to the redundancy of auxiliary performance codes?

DOCTOR: Yes.