“One day, I shall come back — yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, Susan, goodbye, my dear.”

SARAH JANE: Doctor, you're being childish.

DOCTOR: Well of course I am. There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

“The least important things, sometimes, my dear boy, lead to the greatest discoveries.”

“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.”

“As we learn about each other, so we learn about ourselves.”

“Of course we should interfere. Always do what you’re best at, that’s what I say.”

“You wanted advice you said. I never give it, never. But I might just say this to you. Always search for truth. My truth is in the stars and yours is here.”

“History sometimes gives us a terrible shock, and that is because we don’t quite fully understand. Why should we? After all, we’re too small to realize its final pattern. Therefore don’t try and judge it from where you stand.”

“Answers are easy. It’s asking the right questions which is hard.”

“I don’t believe that man was made to be controlled by machines. Machines can make laws, but they can not preserve justice. Only human beings can do that.”

“To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained.”

“I don’t make threats, but I do keep promises.”

“Sometimes my brilliance astonishes even me.”

“We're all basically primeval slime with ideas above its station.”

MASTER: If we do cooperate, there'll be no question of you ever returning to Gallifrey.

DOCTOR: If we don't cooperate, there'll be no question of Gallifrey.

“We Time Lords are a very meticulous people. You have to be when you live as long as we do.”

KIMUS: You don't think that's wrong, do you?

DOCTOR: Wrong? It's an economic miracle. Of course it's wrong.

ROMANA: How did you know?

DOCTOR: Oh, knowing's easy. Everyone does that ad nauseam. I just sort of hope.

“Elementary, my dear Litefoot.”

“But the final responsibility is mine, and mine alone. Listen, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child?”

“Just touch these two strands together and the Daleks are finished. Have I that right?”

“I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it. Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet, without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day. One day.”

“I'm the Doctor. Who are you and why are you shooting at me?”

ROMANA: Oh, I do love the spring. All the leaves, the colours.

DOCTOR: It's October.

ROMANA: I thought that you said we were coming here for May week.

DOCTOR: I did. May week's in June.

ROMANA: I'm confused.

DOCTOR: So was the TARDIS.

ROMANA: Oh, I do love the autumn. All the leaves, the colours.

“You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the arts, the gentle art of fisticuffs.”

“It's the end. But the moment has been prepared for.”

“Well, to be fair, I did have a couple of gadgets which he probably didn't, like a teaspoon and an open mind.”

DOCTOR: Well, at least with something as simple as a punt nothing can go wrong. No coordinates, no dimensional stabilisers, nothing. Just the water, a punt, a strong pair of hands and the pole.

(Whereupon the pole gets stuck in the mud of the riverbed and the Doctor has to let it go. They drift on under a bridge.)

DOCTOR: First things first?

ROMANA: Exactly.

DOCTOR: But not necessarily in that order.

DOCTOR: Have you ever heard of the Flying Dutchman?

LEELA: No.

DOCTOR: Pity, I've often wanted to know who he was.

IAN: I think you should go and apologise to Barbara at once.

DOCTOR: I'm afraid we have no time for codes and manners.

LAURENCE: How could you possibly know that?

DOCTOR: Well, you see, Mister Scarman, I have the advantage of being slightly ahead of you. Sometimes behind you, but normally ahead of you.

LAURENCE: I see.

DOCTOR: I'm sure you don't, but it's very nice of you to try.

DOCTOR: The Earth isn't my home, Sarah. I'm a Time Lord.

SARAH JANE: I know you're a Time Lord.

DOCTOR: You don't understand the implications. I'm not a human being. I walk in eternity.

SARAH JANE: What's that supposed to mean?

DOCTOR: It means I've lived for something like seven hundred and fifty years.

SARAH JANE: Oh, you'll soon be middle aged.

SPANDRELL: I think you're going to be executed for it. They are preparing the vaporisation chamber now. You have about three hours to live, Doctor.

DOCTOR: What? Well, that's monstrous. Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution.

“One must always accept the unexpected.”

RIGG: Yes, but who do you work for?

DOCTOR: Work for? I don't work for anybody. I'm just having fun.

DOCTOR: Ha ha! We did it!

K9: Please clarify.

DOCTOR: Well, I just put a lot of spin on the TARDIS, and the asteroid simply sliced us up out of the gravity whirlpool. Oh, you know, K9, sometimes I think I'm wasted just rushing around the universe saving planets from destruction. With a talent like mine, I might have been a great slow bowler.

LEELA: Doctor, why didn't the helium make your voice go squeaky?

DOCTOR: Because I'm a Time Lord. I've been around, you know. Two hearts, respiratory bypass system. I haven't lived seven hundred and fifty years without learning something.

DAVROS: I have failed!

DOCTOR: Yes. What does it feel like?

BRIGADIER: A few months ago, the superpowers, Russia, America and China, decided upon a plan to ensure peace. All three powers have hidden atomic missile sites. All three agreed to give details of those sites plus full operational instructions to another neutral country. In the event of trouble, that country could publish everyone's secrets and so cool things down. Well, naturally enough, the only country that could be trusted with such a role was Great Britain.

DOCTOR: Well, naturally, I mean, the rest were all foreigners.

“I say, what a wonderful butler. He's so violent.”

“Rash action is worse than no action at all, hmm?”

“You know, you're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.”

“What you need is a jolly good smacked bottom!”

“Would you mind not standing on my chest? My hat's on fire.”

“Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon.”

“If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?”

“It's still a police box. Why hasn't it changed? Dear, dear, how very disturbing.”

“But you can't rewrite history! Not one line!”

IAN: I have a feeling we're being watched. Haven't you?

DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, I can't see any spooks or anything. I don't think so, no. Not particularly, no. I must say that if I lived here and I heard you roaring your head off, I'd probably come down and take a look at you.

IAN: Then take my pen?

DOCTOR: Yes, what if the power's that's got hold of the TARDIS has taken your pen? Of course! Ha ha! Now then, there's something for us to solve. Come along, come along, come along.

SUSAN: The TARDIS can go anywhere.

BARBARA: TARDIS? I don’t understand you, Susan.

SUSAN: Well, I made up the name TARDIS from the initials, Time And Relative Dimension In Space. I thought you’d both understand when you saw the different dimensions inside from those outside.

IAN: Just let me get this straight. A thing that looks like a police box, standing in a junkyard, it can move anywhere in time and space?

SUSAN: Yes.

DOCTOR: Quite so.

IAN: But that’s ridiculous.

SUSAN: When will we get back, Grandfather?

DOCTOR: I don’t know, my dear. This old ship of mine seems to be an aimless thing. However, we don’t worry about it, do we? Do you?

SUSAN: Sometimes I feel I’d like to belong somewhere, not just be a wanderer. Still, I’m not unhappy.

DOCTOR: Good, good.

DOCTOR: Most extraordinary. He ran away from me!

SUSAN: (laughs) That must have looked funny. Flip, flap, flip, flap.

DOCTOR: I can assure you he was very mobile, my child. Come along, let’s get into the First Elder’s room. Come along.

DOCTOR: My dear girl, the one purpose in growing old is to accumulate knowledge and wisdom, and to help other people.

SUSAN: So I’m to be treated like a silly little child.

DOCTOR: If you behave like one, yes.

SUSAN: Oh, look, Grandfather. I understand the Sensorites. They’re timid little people. Because their minds and mine can communicate sometimes, they trust me.

DOCTOR: Yes, and I assure you we shall make good use of that fact, but not without discussions. You will not make decisions on your own accord. Now, do you understand? Is that quite clear? Well, is it?

SUSAN: Look, I’m not saying I’m as clever as you, of course I’m not. But I won’t be pushed aside. I’m not a child anymore, Grandfather. I’m not.

DOCTOR: Oh, Susan, Susan.

VICKI: Doctor? He says the TARDIS isn't a time machine.

DOCTOR: Oh, does he now?

VICKI: Tell him.

DOCTOR: I don't see why I should, my child. He'll learn soon enough.

STEVEN: Look, Doctor, I've seen some spaceships in my time, admittedly nothing like this. Well, what does this do?

DOCTOR: That is the dematerialising control and that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop bothering me.

LEELA: Doctor! Please, don't jump.

DOCTOR: Magnificent view, isn't it. How high is this building?

CORDO: A thousand metres.

DOCTOR: A thousand metres? My. Are we interrupting something?

CORDO: What would you say, Citizen?

DOCTOR: Somehow I have the impression you're thinking of killing yourself.

CORDO: It's the taxes.

DOCTOR: What?

CORDO: It's the taxes. I can't pay the taxes.

DOCTOR: Oh, the taxes. My dear old thing, all you need is a wiley accountant. Would you care for a jelly baby? Hmm? Try one.

CORDO: What?

DOCTOR: They're rather good.

DOCTOR: Hmm, beautiful.

COLBY: Beautiful?

DOCTOR: Yes, sodium chloride. Obviously affects the conductivity, ruins the overall electrical balance and prevents control of localised disruption to the osmotic pressures.

LEELA: Salt kills it.

DOCTOR: I just said that. Probably the origin of throwing it over your shoulder. Come on.

DOCTOR: Hello. Hello, did I startle you? Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.

LEELA: The Evil One.

DOCTOR: Well, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a little. I'm the Doctor. What's your name?

LEELA: Leela.

DOCTOR: Leela. A nice name, Leela. I never met anyone called Leela. Would you like a jelly baby?

LEELA: It's true, then. They say the Evil One eats babies.

DOCTOR: You mustn't believe all they say. No, these are sweets. They're rather good. Go on, have one.

DOCTOR: That gesture you did. Yes, that's the one. It's presumably to ward off evil. It's interesting because it's also the sequence for checking the seals on a Starfall Seven spacesuit. And what makes that particularly interesting is that you don't know what a Starfall Seven spacesuit is, do you.

(The Doctor holds a jelly baby under the nose of the red-haired warrior.)

DOCTOR: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.

DOCTOR: Here. Look, how can I explain? Listen, Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity said

EMILIA: Said that you cannot travel in space faster than the speed of light, because the speed of light is a limiting factor. If you travelled more than a hundred and eighty thousand miles per second, you'd encounter the time distortion effect.

DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, well, he was nearly right.

EMILIA: In fact, you'd arrive at your destination before you'd left your starting point.

DOCTOR: Yes. Absurd, isn't it?

EMILIA: Oh, I don't know.

DOCTOR: I always thought it was fun, myself. I did try to explain the realities to poor old Albert, but he would insist that he knew best.

EMILIA: Oh, they're all the same, these physicists. Oh, sorry.

ROMANA: Newton? Who's Newton?

DOCTOR: Old Isaac? Friend of mine on Earth. He discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity. I had to give him a bit of a prod.

ROMANA: What did you do?

DOCTOR: Climbed up a tree.

ROMANA: And?

DOCTOR: Dropped an apple on his head.

ROMANA: Ah, and so he discovered gravity.

DOCTOR: No, no, he told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.

SCARLIONI: Yes, it would. So you stole the bracelet simply because it's pretty?

DOCTOR: Yes. Well, I think it is. Don't you?

SCARLIONI: Yes.

COUNTESS: My dear, I don't think he's as stupid as he seems.

SCARLIONI: My dear, nobody could be as stupid as he seems.

DOCTOR: Oh.

SCARLIONI: This interview is at an end.

KRAIL: You must come and live with us.

POLLY: But we cannot live with you. You're, you're different. You've got no feelings.

KRAIL: Feelings? I do not understand that word.

DOCTOR: Emotions. Love, pride, hate, fear. Have you no emotions, sir?

KRAIL: Come to Mondas and you will have no need of emotions. You will become like us.

POLLY: Like you?

KRAIL: We have freedom from disease, protection against heat and cold, true mastery. Do you prefer to die in misery?

DODO: What are my instructions?

(The machine makes some groaning noises and then finally produces coherent sounds.)

WOTAN: Doctor Who is required. Bring him here.

DOCTOR: Oh, my dear Dodo, my dear Dodo. You know you're fast becoming a prey to every cliche-ridden convention in the American West. And it's high time we left. Now, come along.

STEVEN: Thank goodness for that.

(Morton slaps the Doctor on the back)

MORTON: Hot diggety! I knew I was right. You should be wearing Police uniforms, you all is, you all is in a chase.

DOCTOR: Chase? Yes, as a matter of fact, young man, that's exactly what this is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting along. It's the chase, you know?

MORTON: Sure thing, Mister! I understand. Just wait til I tell the folks back home I met some real live movie pe- (knocks on TARDIS door) Do you know Cheyenne Bodie? Look, just wait a minute, I want to get this thing on celluloid.

(The TARDIS dematerialises)

MORTON: That's real clever, how they done that. Sure if it don't beat all.

ZENTOS: Doctor, for the fact that I mistrusted you, misjudged you, I'm sorry.

DOCTOR: Remember your journey is very important, young man, therefore you must travel with understanding as well as hope. Goodbye, Zentos.

ZENTOS: Goodbye Doctor.

DOCTOR: Er, excuse me! What I'd like to know. Where did you get those jelly babies?

ROMANA: Same place you get them.

DOCTOR: Where?

ROMANA: Your pocket.

DOCTOR: By the time I've called look out, what's your name?

ROMANA: Romanadvoratnelundar.

DOCTOR: By the time I've called that out, you could be dead. I'll call you Romana.

ROMANA: I don't like Romana.

DOCTOR: It's either Romana or Fred.

ROMANA: All right, call me Fred.

DOCTOR: Good. Come on, Romana.

“Blaming the Universe is the only way I can get out of bed in the morning.”

DOCTOR: Well, I can assure you, my dear Barbara, Napoleon would never have believed you.

IAN: Yes, Doctor, but supposing we had written Napoleon a letter, telling him, you know, some of the things that were going to happen to him.

SUSAN: It wouldn't have made any difference, Ian. He'd have forgotten it, or lost it, or thought it was written by a maniac.

BARBARA: I suppose if we'd tried to kill him with a gun, the bullet would have missed him.

DOCTOR: Well, it's hardly fair to speculate, is it? No, I'm afraid you belittle things. Our lives are important, at least to us. But as we see, so we learn.

IAN: And what are we going to see and learn next, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Well, unlike the old adage, my boy, our destiny is in the stars, so let's go and search for it.

DOCTOR: Yes, it all started out as a mild curiosity in a junkyard, and now it's turned out to be quite a, quite a great spirit of adventure, don't you think?

IAN: Yes. We've had some pretty rough times and even that doesn't stop us. It's a wonderful thing, this ship of yours, Doctor. Taken us back to prehistoric times, the Daleks.

SUSAN: Marco Polo, Marinus.

BARBARA: And the Aztecs.

DOCTOR: Yes, and that extraordinary quarrel I had with that English king, Henry the Eighth. You know, he threw a parson's nose at me.

BARBARA: What did you do?

DOCTOR: Threw it back, of course. Take them to the Tower, he said. That's why I did it.

BARBARA: Why?

SUSAN: The TARDIS was inside the Tower.