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Tags: Funny
DOCTOR: You know Tegan, sometimes I wonder how well I'd get along without you.
TEGAN: Thank you.
DOCTOR: Probably quite alright, all things considered. Now, a fresh cup of tea would be terribly useful.
TEGAN: Yeah? Well, you know where the kitchen is.
— Goth Opera
DOCTOR: Oh, the blossomiest blossom. That's the only sad thing. I want to know what happens next. Right, then. Doctor Whoever-I'm-about-to-be. Tag, you're it.
— The Power of the Doctor
(The Doctor and Rose talk about an asteroid named Gavin that will hit Earth in 900 years)
DOCTOR: 900 years from now Gavin will hit Uppsala. Ever been? A little city in Sweden. They have a nice bookshop there.
— The Ashes of Eternity
Tags: Sad
DOCTOR: You must've injected me with something on the way in! No, no, no, I'd feel it in my veins, my veins aren't where I feel it.
ADRIC: Feel what, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Pain.
— The Lost Resort
MISSY: Spoilers!
RIVER: Oh I get the feeling you’ve always wanted to say that.
— The Bekdel Test
DOCTOR: We want certainty, security, to believe that people are evil or heroic. But that's not how people are. You want to know the secrets of existence? Start with the mysteries of the heart. I can show you everything if you stop being afraid of what you don't understand.
— The Witchfinders
ROMANA: Oh, I do love the spring. All the leaves, the colours.
DOCTOR: It's October.
ROMANA: I thought that you said we were coming here for May week.
DOCTOR: I did. May week's in June.
ROMANA: I'm confused.
DOCTOR: So was the TARDIS.
ROMANA: Oh, I do love the autumn. All the leaves, the colours.
— Shada
Tags: Speech
DOCTOR: Never be cruel. Never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.
— Twice Upon a Time
DOCTOR: Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?
— The Doctor Falls
NARVIN: Knowing how the technology was acquired and the cost to those poor people, would you really want to use it?
ROMANA: You’ve changed. Once you’d have considered slaves beneath contempt.
NARVIN: Travel. Broadens the mind.
— Evolution
Ian: When do you know?
When do you know for certain?
The first look?
Catching her eyes across a crowded room?
The shy smile?
The furtive glance?
Or later?
When the roots have grown down
Extended deep into the earth
Far beyond the giddy joys of the earliest days
Can you trust what you feel?
When do you know?
Not the first moments, not then
Not in the early, heady joys
No, most definitely not then
And not as life continues
As you almost forget everything there was
And it turns into something different
It can't be then
It can't be then that you know
Sometimes you see
You've known all along
You just don't realise that you do
You have to know that you know
You have to find that out
And you know when it's gone
When you see it torn from your hands
When it's never coming back
That's when you know
The moment you risk losing it forever, you know
And sometimes you have to take a chance
Sometimes you act without thinking
Sometimes you make the reckless move to save everything you hold dear
Sometimes you take a leap of faith
— The Rocket Men
JO: I only left you because I got married. Did you think I was stupid?
DOCTOR: Why do you say that?
JO: I was a bit dumb. Still am, I suppose.
DOCTOR: Now what in the world would make you think that, ever, ever, ever?
JO: We'd been travelling down the Amazon for months, and we reached a village in Cristalino, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that had a telephone, so I called you. I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you'd left, left UNIT, never came back. So I waited and waited, because you said you'd see me again. You did, I asked you and you said yes. You promised. So I thought, one day, I'd hear that sound, Deep in the jungle, I'd hear that funny wheezing noise, and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest. You see, he wouldn't just leave. Not forever. Not me. I've waited my whole silly life.
DOCTOR: But you're an idiot.
JO: Well, there we have it.
DOCTOR: No, but don't you see? How could I ever find you? You've spent the past forty years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades. You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea chest. Not even the TARDIS could pin you down.
JO: Hold on. I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea chest. How did you know?
DOCTOR: And that family. All seven kids, twelve grandchildren, thirteenth on his way. He's dyslexic but that'll be fine. Great swimmer.
JO: So you've been watching me all this time?
DOCTOR: No. Because you're right, I don't look back. I can't. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all of you. Every single one. And I was so proud.
JO: It really is you, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Hello.
— Death of the Doctor
GWEN: Excuse me. Have you seen a Blowfish driving a sports car?
(The woman points down the road.)
GWEN: Thank you.
(They drive on.)
WOMAN: Bloody Torchwood.
— Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
BRAXIATEL: Narvin. How do you do?
NARVIN: What’s this? You’re offering me something?
BRAXIATEL: Only my hand.
ANDRED: It’s a human custom. You say ‘How do you do?’ and clasp hands. A symbol of trust and friendship, apparently.
NARVIN: How uplifting. You’ll forgive me if I do not clasp hands with you, Andred.
— Pandora
DOCTOR: This is ridiculous! How can you go from plenty of time to running out of time in no time at all?
— The Fearmonger
I.M. FOREMAN: You’ve never been a woman, have you?
DOCTOR: I’m not sure I’ve ever even been a man.
— Interference – Book One
BREGMAN: You want to go there? Why, for God’s sake?
DOCTOR: I’m half-stupid. On my mother’s side.
— Alien Bodies
DOCTOR: I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren’t there.
— Doctor Who (The TV Movie)
DOCTOR: Grace, let me in. We can sit down, we can have a cup of tea, we can talk about this reasonably.
GRACE: Sure, Time lord to Earthling.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's right. I am a Time Lord.
GRACE: I thought you were a doctor.
DOCTOR: I thought you were a doctor!
GRACE: I am calling an ambulance to take you back to Psychiatric from which you have obviously escaped!
POLICEMAN: Sir, ma'am, go back to your vehicle.
GRACE: What? Stop! He's er, he's British.
DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose I am. Jelly baby, officer?
POLICEMAN: Jelly baby?
GRACE: Just take it.
(The policeman takes a sweet and sniffs it while the Doctor makes lip-smacking noises. When he bites into it, the Doctor takes his gun and points it at his own chest.)
DOCTOR: Now, would you stand aside before I shoot myself.
DOCTOR: There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do!
— Survival
BRENDAN: It wasn't your fault, K9.
K9: Garden goblin not in my memory.
BRENDAN: Of course not.
— A Girl’s Best Friend
ADRIC: Will Romana be all right?
DOCTOR: All right? She'll be superb.
— Warriors’ Gate
DOCTOR: One must always accept the unexpected.
— The Leisure Hive
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