RUBY: Why does a land mine have lights on it?

DOCTOR: Oh, capitalism.

RUBY: Excuse me?

DOCTOR: Flashy lights play well in a showroom. Modern warfare. Death by salesman.

DOCTOR: A sad old man once told me, what survives of us is love.

DOCTOR: I thought that was non-diegetic.

DAN: And they've got this obsession with Japanese food. I heard one of the big chief potatoheads talking about Tempura Command. Tempura Offensive. What's that all about?

MISSY: Exciting, isn't it? Watching the Cybermen getting started.

DOCTOR: They always get started. They happen everywhere there's people. Mondas, Telos, Earth, Planet 14, Marinus. Like sewage and smartphones and Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.

RIVER: How do you know me?

DOCTOR: Well, it's a tiny bit complicated. People usually need a flowchart.

OHILA: We restored you to life, but it's a temporary measure. You have a little under four minutes.

DOCTOR: Four minutes? That's ages. What if I get bored? I need a television, couple of books, anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.

DOCTOR: Charley, C'Rizz, Lucie, Tamsin, Molly. Friends, companions I've known, I salute you. And Cass, I apologise. Physician, heal thyself.

DOCTOR: You have to remember; it's very important: “Frankenstein” is the name of the monster, and not the name of the doctor.

DOCTOR: Revenge is a dish best left to go cold, and then thrown in the kitchen bin.

THE VOICE: This is the voice of Light City. Welcome to your new work day. Today is High Productivity Day. Your state loves you. Happiness through acceptance.

EVELYN: Oh no. You are going to sing.

DOCTOR: Well, yes, I am.

BRIGHAM: I'll transfer [his mind] onto a couple of mega-gig quantum CD-ROMs…

CHARLEY: I show a smidgen of interest in the plight of the underclass, and what do I get in return? Held at knife-point, dressed up in an admittedly fabulous but impractical frock, and then I end up being forced to marry some ancient madman as the city collapses around us!

POLICEMAN: Sir, ma'am, go back to your vehicle.

GRACE: What? Stop! He's er, he's British.

DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose I am. Jelly baby, officer?

POLICEMAN: Jelly baby?

GRACE: Just take it.

(The policeman takes a sweet and sniffs it while the Doctor makes lip-smacking noises. When he bites into it, the Doctor takes his gun and points it at his own chest.)

DOCTOR: Now, would you stand aside before I shoot myself.