The Monthly Adventures #043 - “Doctor Who and the Pirates" by Jacqueline Raynor

It’s always hard when you run into a popular story you just can’t get it into. No point in avoiding what will be the main talking point of this review, I don’t like Doctor Who and the Pirates. I think it is some novel concepts that forgot the basic tenets of scriptwriting and, as a result, came out lacklustre. It’s not a story I’m particularly fond of and not one I have a large amount to say on, it simply is a story that is not for me, one that was created with a different target demographic in mind that I just can’t seem to connect with. A swashbuckling adventure with an intrusive sense of humour and an annoyingly eccentric style.

Who doesn’t love a good story about pirates? Evelyn thinks the answer to be no-one, so when she takes it upon herself to cheer up one of her students, she tells the story of the time she and the Doctor were taken prisoner by fearsome pirate king Red Jasper.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

When looking at an episode that seems to fit normally into positive public perception and giving it a low score, one first must consider its positives and why it is so beloved. I think the main reason for Doctor Who and the Pirates’ success are elements that simply do not appeal to me but I can take part in admiring a few of its factors. At its heart, it is a story based on the gimmick of it being told by the Doctor and Evelyn, and not in the Companion Chronicles way of every companion having script level accuracy storytelling but in the way that they keep misremembering things or skipping over boring bits or making it more exciting for whomever it is they’re talking to. This gimmick is done really well, I have to say, and the ways it’s implemented are all pretty fun, from Evelyn not being able to think of enough names for the characters to giving Red Jasper countless anachronisms to shy away from his actual cutthroat nature. It’s a good idea done with a great amount of creativity that could only really, truly work on audio. As for the rest of the story, I think it pretty much fails on all fronts but one. When Raynor dials in the campiness and the pantomime-esque shenanigans, she can deliver some really solid scriptwriting. For one, Evelyn has some really great character development here, with the whole framing device of her trying to soothe a grieving student, whilst dealing with her own guilt over a character in the story’s death. It’s a great little setup through which we see more of her than we have before and really get a glimpse into the things that’ll make her one of the greatest companions in Doctor Who, at least in my opinion. In fact, every single plot beat that is separate from this story’s wall of noise is leagues greater than the rest of the narrative, and the tone probably should’ve been somewhat closer to that.

But, alas, it was not. I’m not denying that Doctor Who and the Pirates is a story with a lot of merits, I’m just saying that I don’t like it personally. I think this might be the first score I’ve given that’s based mostly on my own personal feelings rather than what I consider outright criticism, even the best bits (like the surprisingly solid musical Part 3) were just part of a story that doesn’t appeal to my personal tastes, and that’s fine, you don’t have to objective on everything. But do I think Doctor Who and the Pirates is a perfect story that I’m just baselessly against? No. No, absolutely not. I find that Doctor Who and the Pirates is a story that had a great idea, spent all its energy on realising that idea, and then forgot to write a compelling story around it. A gimmick is fun and all, but a story should take precedence in any work of fiction, which it doesn’t here. The story is basic and derivative: a nasty pirate wants to find a mystical treasure, throw in a bunch of one-dimensional, faceless characters and you’re done. The villains are tricked easily and the plot is moved forward by fantasies, it’s not very interesting and is paced poorly. And then there’s the cadence of it all. I guess it’s based on old Gilbert and Sullivan musicals so I don’t know if it’s reflective of them but the whole thing feels so ridiculous, like a really bad pantomime. Again, this might be a matter of taste but little to none of the humour landed for me and all the characters felt more like caricatures.

I’m not sure how many more ways to say “this wasn’t for me” there are, so I’ll stop this review here. Doctor Who and the Pirates is a fun audio with some good ideas, but I just can’t bring myself to like it. It’s a cacophony of loud voice acting and musical numbers that can never seem to stick the landing, no matter how hard it tries. I think it probably is a good story, or at least a passable one, but I wouldn’t know.

5/10

Pros:

+ Has good ideas and uses them well, in increasingly creative and unique ways

+ Some really nice character growth for Evelyn

+ Portrays emotional beats with a surprising amount of tact

Cons:

- A really simplistic and dull story with little forward momentum

- Has practically no good characters besides our regulars

- Irritatingly hyper and quirky

- On a personal level, does not work for me

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

"Doctor Who and the Pirates: A Swashbuckling Singalong with Surprising Depth"

“Pirates make everything better,” Evelyn declares, and Doctor Who and the Pirates proves her right in spades. Jacqueline Rayner delivers a hilarious and inventive romp that not only embraces classic pirate tropes but elevates them with sharp humour, musical brilliance, and an emotionally resonant undercurrent.

The story is cleverly framed by Evelyn narrating the adventure to one of her students. This device, reminiscent of The Princess Bride, allows for a playful deconstruction of the narrative as the student questions Evelyn's embellishments and forces her to revise on the fly. It’s a wonderfully meta touch that adds layers of charm and hilarity to the experience.

A Script That Shines

Rayner’s knack for blending historical settings with a comedic twist, first showcased in The Marian Conspiracy, is on full display here. The script overflows with witty dialogue, clever wordplay, and larger-than-life characters. Every joke lands, and the swashbuckling adventure brims with rum barrels, treasure maps, and all the piratical tropes you could hope for.

The pirates themselves are delightful caricatures, led by the uproariously funny Red Jasper, played with scene-stealing gusto by Bill Oddie. Nicholas Pegg also shines as a hilariously inept sea captain, adding to the rollicking chaos.

Musical Brilliance

What sets Doctor Who and the Pirates apart is its audacious leap into full-blown musical territory. Part 3 transitions into a genuine musical extravaganza, complete with original songs that rival the best in Doctor Who’s history. Colin Baker’s rendition of “I Am the Very Model of a Gallifreyan Buccaneer” is a standout—both impressively performed and laugh-out-loud funny.

The songs are diverse and expertly crafted, with Helen Goldwyn delivering especially strong vocals. “I'm a Better Sailor Far Than You” is a particular highlight, blending humour and melody seamlessly. The musical elements elevate the story to a level of pure joy and creativity rarely seen in the franchise.

A Twist of Emotion

Amid the laughs and catchy tunes, Doctor Who and the Pirates takes a surprising turn in Part 3, revealing a tragic twist involving Sally, Evelyn’s student. This moment arrives as a gut-punch, grounding the story in a poignant reality that contrasts starkly with the comedic chaos. It’s a masterstroke of tonal balance, giving the adventure an emotional weight that lingers long after the final song.

Performances that Sparkle

Colin Baker and Maggie Stables are in top form. Baker effortlessly switches between comedic flamboyance and the gravitas required for the story’s darker moments, while Stables anchors the narrative with her warmth and sharp wit. Her chemistry with Baker is as delightful as ever, and she carries much of the story with grace and charm.

The supporting cast is equally strong. Bill Oddie’s Red Jasper is a riot, and Nicholas Pegg brings impeccable comic timing to his role. The ensemble’s commitment to the musical numbers is especially commendable, adding to the story’s infectious energy.

A Satisfying Finale

The final part ties together the pirate adventure and the framing device in a satisfying and heartfelt conclusion. The treasure hunt provides a rousing end to the swashbuckling antics, while Evelyn’s interactions with Sally give the story a poignant resolution.

The Verdict: A Pirate Classic

Doctor Who and the Pirates is a triumph of inventive storytelling, blending humour, music, and heartfelt drama into an unforgettable adventure. Jacqueline Rayner’s script is razor-sharp, the performances are stellar, and the musical numbers are a delight.

Whether you’re a fan of pirates, musicals, or just great Doctor Who, this story is a treasure worth discovering.

📝90/100

This is without a doubt a "must listen" part 2 has the best cliffhanger I've heard out of any of these early stories. The fact they made all of part 3 a musical - something which is not reflected anywhere else in the story is truly ballsy. The chemistry between Evelyn and The 6th Doctor continues to impress and is totally unlike any other companion/ Doctor dynamic. Evelyn as the unreliable narrator is particularly amusing.

Having said all this its got a very thin plot and is deliberately cliched in many ways, so while I say its a "must listen" I wouldn't go as far as to say its one of my favourites. Its a classic though.

I didn't seem to take to this one as much as others, but I still very much enjoyed it and had a bit of fun along the way. It's certainly the best Doctor Who pirate story I've stumbled upon and has some good moments here and there. I do love the creativity and boldness of this one, though, and hardly hated my time listening. I'm just not sure it was quite my cup of tea. I do enjoy the sixth doctor here and it really sold me on him in the early days, so I will always appreciate that about Doctor Who and the Pirates.

I'll start with the negative which is that the 2nd part of the story for me was by far the weakest, even boring at times. That being said, every other part was sheer perfection. I had no idea where they were going with Sally but this aspect of the story really moved me. I am loving getting to know Evelyn more, and this was a great story with lots of heartache for her. The story itself balances the humour nicely, with so many great camp moments and the SINGING!!!! Just phenomenal.