The Ribos Operation

Part One

[TARDIS]

(The Doctor has completed assembly of K9 Mark II, his personal mobile gun platform and computer. He blows a dog whistle and it lifts its head.)

K9: Master?
DOCTOR: It works, K9. It works. Listen, I've got a little surprise for you.
K9: Master?
DOCTOR: You and I are going away on holiday.
K9: Affirmative.
DOCTOR: A nice, long holiday.
K9: Affirmative.
DOCTOR: Would you like that, K9?
K9: Affirmative, affirmative, affirmative
DOCTOR: Shush. Halergan Three's lovely, K9. You'll really like it. Beaches, palm trees, sunshine all day. Hot and

(The TARDIS goes completely dark. Then the main doors start to open and golden light floods in to organ accompaniment.)

GUARDIAN [OC]: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes?
GUARDIAN [OC]: Your presence is required.
DOCTOR: Look, listen, I, I, I don't wish to appear rude, but who are you?
GUARDIAN [OC]: Do you really need to ask, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, only a guardian could

(A rumble of thunder echoes.)

DOCTOR: Oh, I see. Well, in that case, sir.
GUARDIAN [OC]: You will come to no harm.
DOCTOR: Just as you say.

[Guardian's abode]

(Wind chimes sound in the flat area with a white rocks as a backdrop and a few small plants around. A wicker peacock chair stands under a sunshade next to a small table carrying a decanter and glasses. A man in a white suit with a red carnation in the lapel fades into view, seated on the chair.)

GUARDIAN: Doctor, you have been chosen for a vitally important task.
DOCTOR: That's very flattering, sir.
GUARDIAN: It concerns the Key to Time. You know of the Key to Time?
DOCTOR: Well, I've heard a few stories. Old legends, myths, that sort of thing.
GUARDIAN: It is no myth.
DOCTOR: Sorry, sir.
GUARDIAN: The Key to Time is a perfect cube, which maintains the equilibrium of time itself.

(A holographic image of a spinning cube appears for illustration, then fades away.)

GUARDIAN: It consists of six segments, and these segments are scattered and hidden throughout the cosmos. When they are assembled into the cube, they create a power which is too dangerous for any being to possess.
DOCTOR: Well hidden then, I hope, sir.
GUARDIAN: There are times, Doctor, when the forces within the universe upset the balance to such an extent that it becomes necessary to stop everything.
DOCTOR: Stop everything?
GUARDIAN: For a brief moment only.
DOCTOR: Ah.
GUARDIAN: Until the balance is restored. Such a moment is rapidly approaching. These segments must be traced and returned to me before it is too late, before the Universe is plunged into eternal chaos.
DOCTOR: Eternal chaos?
GUARDIAN: Eternal as you understand the term.
DOCTOR: Look, I'm sure there must be plenty of other Time Lords who'd be delighted to
GUARDIAN: I have chosen you.
DOCTOR: Yes, I was afraid you'd say something like that. Ah! You want me to volunteer, isn't that it?
GUARDIAN: Precisely.
DOCTOR: And if I don't?
GUARDIAN: Nothing.
DOCTOR: Nothing? You mean nothing will happen to me?
GUARDIAN: Nothing at all. Ever.
DOCTOR: Ah. What do they look like, these segments? How will I know them?
GUARDIAN: They're all disguised.
DOCTOR: Yes, I thought they might be.
GUARDIAN: They contain the elemental force of the universe. They can be in any shape, form or size.
DOCTOR: Then how will I recognise them?
GUARDIAN: You will be given a locator.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
GUARDIAN: And an assistant.
DOCTOR: An assistant? Please, sir, on an assignment like this, I'd much rather work alone. In my experience, assistants mean trouble. I have to protect them and show them and teach them and couldn't I just, couldn't I just manage with K9?
GUARDIAN: K9 is a mere machine.
DOCTOR: He is a very sensitive machine! Sorry, sir.
GUARDIAN: You will find your assistant waiting for you in the TARDIS.
DOCTOR: Very well, sir. If you insist.
GUARDIAN: One final thing, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes?
GUARDIAN: I am the White Guardian. In order to maintain the universal balance, there is also a Black Guardian, and he also requires the Key to Time, but for a different purpose. An evil purpose. He must not get it. Doctor, at all costs, you must prevent that.
DOCTOR: How am I to prevent that?
GUARDIAN: Beware the Black Guardian.
DOCTOR: Beware the Black Guardian.
GUARDIAN: Beware. Beware.

(The Guardian picks up his glass of green wine and fades away.)

[TARDIS]

DOCTOR: I'm so sorry, K9. The holiday's off.
ROMANA [OC]: Doctor?
DOCTOR: (sotto) That's the new assistant.

(Tall, brunette, statuesque, aloof, wearing a floorlength white dress fastened only at the waist, and her hair held up by a tiara. Everyone welcome Mary Tamm)

ROMANA: My name is Romanadvoratnelundar.
DOCTOR: I'm so sorry about that. Is there anything we can do?
ROMANA: The President of the Supreme Council sent me.

(That should be the Doctor, but he's forgotten all about the last story.)

ROMANA: I was told to give you this.

(Romana hands over a rod.)

DOCTOR: What's this?
ROMANA: According to my instructions, it's the core to the Key of Time.
DOCTOR: Ah.
ROMANA: Very exciting, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose it must be for someone as young and inexperienced as you are.
ROMANA: I may be inexperienced, but I did graduate from the Academy with a triple first.
DOCTOR: I suppose you think we should be impressed by that, too?
ROMANA: Well, it's better than scraping through with fifty one percent at the second attempt.
DOCTOR: That information is confidential! That President. I should have thrown him to the Sontarans when I had the chance.
ROMANA: Oh, do you want to know how that works?
DOCTOR: I know how it works.
ROMANA: You have to plug it into your TARDIS controls, just there.

(There's a new socket available to receive it.)

DOCTOR: A hole. What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?
ROMANA: I put it there.
DOCTOR: You? You put a hole in my T? Never mind, old girl. Never mind. I'll soon have it fixed.
ROMANA: When plugged into the control console, the core indicates the space-time coordinates of each segment of the Key.

(The Doctor puts the rod into the hole.)

DOCTOR: Oh, that's clever. That's very clever. Ah! Four one eight zero.
ROMANA: I'll look up those coordinates, shall I.
DOCTOR: No, there's no need.
ROMANA: Well, don't you want to know what planet it is?
DOCTOR: I know. Cyrrhenis Minima.
ROMANA: Oh.
DOCTOR: Just a matter of experience, you see.
ROMANA: Yes, of course.
DOCTOR: What else does it do?
ROMANA: Well, it locates the segment at close range once we've landed on the appropriate planet.
DOCTOR: Ah ha. Well, that could be very useful.
ROMANA: And then, when it's brought into contact with a disguised segment, it converts it back into its proper form. What would you like me to do?
DOCTOR: Well. I'd like you to stay out of my way as much as possible and try and keep out of trouble. I don't suppose you can make tea?
ROMANA: Tea?
DOCTOR: No, no, I don't suppose you can. They don't teach you anything useful at the Academy, do they. Gadgets and gimmickry. Never touch, never trust gimmicky gadgets.
ROMANA: That's hardly a gimmick, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Ah ah.
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: Look. The coordinates have changed. They're different already.

[Relic room roof]

(A howling wind, and snow on the flagstones. A man climbs over the parapet and heads towards a door in the main tower. A man with an East End accent calls to him.)

GARRON [OC]: Unstoffe! Unstoffe, you blithering idiot. Give me a hand!

(Unstoffe pulls his large companion over the parapet. Everyone say Hi! to the magnificent Iain Cuthbertson.)

UNSTOFFE: Don't step on the edge, it's slippery.
GARRON: Not only slippery, it's perishing cold! Now come on, let's get cracking.

(They kneel by a raised metal cover set into the flagstones and start unclamping it.)

GARRON: Now, quiet. If we get caught up here.

(They remove the cover. A bell tolls.)

UNSTOFFE: Curfew.
GARRON: Yeah. The moment it stops, drop the meat.

(Down in the Jewel Room of the Tower, the Captain of the Guard  finishes tolling the bell and uses his spread-eagle headed staff to 'extinguish' the electric lights, leaving only candles burning. The two guards bow towards the Crown Jewels and leave. Finally Prentis Hancock - for it is he - kneels and backs out of the room. Unstoffe drops a large leg of meat down the hole. Something snarls below.)

UNSTOFFE: You sure that'll work?
GARRON: Don't worry. The ladder. Come on. Get those grapples on, that's right. The other one. Drop it. That's the idea.

(Unstoffe hooks a rolled up rope ladder onto the edge of the hole and drops it down. )

(The Captain of the Guard bars the door to the Jewel Room and the guards pull ropes that opens a panel in the wall. Very large clawed feet scrabble to be let out into the Jewel Room.)

UNSTOFFE: Why is it always me? Why do I always get these jobs?
GARRON: You're young. I'm too old to go down there.
UNSTOFFE: Well, I want a chance to be old, too.
GARRON: Unstoffe, do you think at your age I wouldn't climbed down there? Without the ladder, I'd have gone. I love danger.
UNSTOFFE: Ah! Now you admit it. It is dangerous.
GARRON: Don't make me lose faith in you, my boy. Now, it's time you went.

(Unstoffe puts a bag on a rope around his neck and starts to go down the ladder. Garron settles into a sheltered corner of the roof.)

GARRON: Have you got the jethrik?
UNSTOFFE: Of course!
GARRON: Well, don't drop it whatever. Guard it with your life.
UNSTOFFE: What?
GARRON: I mean, just, just guard it. Remember its value.

(Unstoffe goes down into the Shrivenzale's pen next to the Jewel Room. The big creature is asleep, presumably drugged by the meat. Unstoffe crawls into the Jewel Room and goes over to the main central display case, where the Crown and other regalia are. He takes a suction cup and glass cutter from his bag, fastens it to the display case and looks around nervously.)

[TARDIS]

(Romana has let her hair down and is brushing it.)

ROMANA: You're sulking.
DOCTOR: I'm not sulking.
ROMANA: That's ridiculous for somebody as old as you are.
DOCTOR: I'm not old. What?
ROMANA: Seven hundred and fifty nine?
DOCTOR: Seven hundred and fifty six. That's not old, that's just mature.
ROMANA: You've lost count somewhere.
DOCTOR: Well, I ought to know my own age.
ROMANA: Yes, but after the first few centuries, I expect things get a little bit foggy, don't they.
DOCTOR: Now, listen. It's no good, this isn't going to work.
ROMANA: Doctor, you're not giving me a chance. It's funny, you know, but before I met you, I was even willing to be impressed.
DOCTOR: Indeed.
ROMANA: Oh yes. Of course, now I realise that your behaviour simply derives from a subtransitory experiential hypertoid induced condition, aggravated, I expect, by multi-encephalogical tensions.
DOCTOR: What's that supposed to mean?
ROMANA: Well, to put it very simply, Doctor, you're suffering from a massive compensation syndrome.
DOCTOR: Is that the sort of rubbish they're pouring into your head at the Academy?
ROMANA: Do you know, I might even use your case in my thesis when I'm back on Gallifrey.
DOCTOR: I'll show you whether I'm suffering from a massive compensation syndrome. And you're not going back to Gallifrey, not for a long time yet, I regret to say. Read out those coordinates again.
ROMANA: Forty nine four zero, vector's unchanged.
DOCTOR: Same as before. Distance?
ROMANA: One hundred and sixteen parsecs.
DOCTOR: One hundred and sixteen parsecs. Must be the planet of Ribos. If it changes again while we're in the vortex, we could lose it. On the other hand
ROMANA: Oh, take a chance.
DOCTOR: I'll make the decisions here!
ROMANA: Well, what shall we do?
DOCTOR: We'll take a chance.

[Relic room]

(Unstoffe has cut a large hole in the glass front of the display case and put a large piece of shiny blue stone inside. His wrist communicator beeps.)

UNSTOFFE: Yes, what is it Garron?

[Relic room roof]

GARRON: The Graff Vynda-K is arriving. I've got to go and meet him.

[Relic room]

GARRON [OC]: This is Blue Forty signing off. Wilco, Graham, out.
UNSTOFFE: Roger. It's Roger, you stupid old Blue Forty.

(Unstoffe finishes resealing the hole he cut in the glass, so he leaves no trace of his visit.)

[Castle entrance]

(Garron is greeting a youngish man in black furs with a gold crest on his Cossack hat who is accompanied by a battle-scarred veteran in metal breast plate and a guard in full face metal helmets and red cloaks. Garron offers a scroll, and speaks with a refined Scottish accent.)

GARRON: Allow me to present my credentials.
GRAFF: Can't we get out of this wind first? It's cutting through me like a laser.
GARRON: I have quarters prepared for your Highness, but your escort
GRAFF: What about them?
GARRON: Well, my letter did stress the necessity for discretion. I mean, soldiers stomping about, you know.
SHOLAKH: The Graff never travels without his personal guard.
GARRON: Please. These are primitive people, easily panicked. I mean, if you frighten them, they could turn very nasty. We don't want any unpleasantness at this stage, do we?
GRAFF: Oh, let's get inside. Send the guard back, Sholakh.
SHOLAKH: Highness. Royal guard, return to your ship. Dismiss!

(The guards leave.)

GARRON: This way, Highness, if you'd be so kind.

(Garron, the Graff and Sholakh go into the castle. When then entrance is clear, the TARDIS materialises. The Doctor steps out carrying a ladies long white fur coat.)

DOCTOR: Ha ha! Fresh!
ROMANA: It's bitter.
DOCTOR: If you can't stand the cold, stay out of the freezer. Which way?
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: Well, you've got the core.
ROMANA: Oh, yes. Through there. It's a strong signal.

(It sounds like a Geiger counter.)

DOCTOR: Good. Now, pay attention. I'm not anticipating any trouble, but it's as well to be prepared for these things. Ground rules. Rule one, do exactly as I say. Rule two, stick close to me, and Rule three, let me do all the talking. Is that perfectly clear?
ROMANA: You couldn't make it clearer.
DOCTOR: Good. One more thing. Your name.
ROMANA: What about my name?
DOCTOR: It's too long. By the time I've called look out, what's your name?
ROMANA: Romanadvoratnelundar.
DOCTOR: By the time I've called that out, you could be dead. I'll call you Romana.
ROMANA: I don't like Romana.
DOCTOR: It's either Romana or Fred.
ROMANA: All right, call me Fred.
DOCTOR: Good. Come on, Romana. Here, try that for size.

(He gives her the white fur coat and walks through the archway into the city.)

ROMANA: Oh.
DOCTOR [OC]: The secret of survival is always to expect the unexpected.

(Scraping of stone against stone then the Doctor calls out.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Ow!

(The Doctor is hanging inside a large net.)

ROMANA: Ah. I think this is to stop animals wandering into the city at night. There's a cocking lever there, just below the keystone.
DOCTOR: Yes I wondered if you'd notice that. That's good. That's very good, very good.

[Graff's quarters]

(Candles, rugs, furs, wooden furniture. Very mediaeval.)

GARRON: Ribos orbits its sun elliptically, so its climate is one of extremes. For the natives, the seasons are called Icetime and Suntime.
GRAFF: How long are the seasons?
GARRON: Approximately thirty two of your years, Highness. Unfortunately, of course, you're not seeing the planet at its best just now.
GRAFF: If I bought it, Garron, it would not be my intention to spend a lot of time here.
GARRON: For someone in your exalted position, Highness, I should've thought it would've made an ideal second home. I get very few properties so central and so convenient. Only three light centuries from the Magellanic Clouds.
SHOLAKH: Is Shur the only city?
GARRON: The principal city. There are several settlements to the north, though I've never seen them. Oh, incidentally, if anyone asks you where we're from, just say the North. I've arranged a travel pass in case of any problems.
GRAFF: Do they know anything of other worlds?
GARRON: Nothing, Highness.
SHOLAKH: They know that this planet is within the Greater Cyrrhenic Empire, and that they are protected by the forces of the Alliance?
GARRON: Beyond their comprehension. They're only primitive, brutish peasants, you see.
GRAFF: The property becomes more unattractive every minute.
GARRON: There is a great demand for planets that are completely unspoiled and so central. There are very few of them coming on the market today.
GRAFF: A predictable reply, Garron. You're interested in making a sale.
GARRON: And you are interested in buying, Highness, or you'd not be here. So we're really discussing how much you're willing to pay. Am I right?
GRAFF: A great deal less than the ten million opeks you're asking.
GARRON: The Magellanic Mining Conglomerate set that valuation.
GRAFF: But you are empowered to accept an offer?
GARRON: I'll leave the documents of title and mortmain with you for you to read. And tomorrow, if you're still interested, it will be my pleasure to show you over the city. Until then, may you rest in peace.

(Garron leaves. The Graff and Sholakh take papers to read.)

GRAFF: I think he'll take six million.
SHOLAKH: Highness, this is interesting.
GRAFF: What is it?
SHOLAKH: The Conglomerate's mineralogical survey.
GRAFF: It's almost fifty years ago. That's soon after they acquired title. Bismuth, cadmium, iron. Jethrik!
SHOLAKH: What is it, Highness?
GRAFF: Point zero zero zero one percent of mass. That's not possible, Sholakh. It must be a mistake.
SHOLAKH: Highness.
GRAFF: Jethrik, the rarest and most valuable element in the galaxy.
SHOLAKH: As you say, a mistake. If it were true, the Conglomerate would not be selling.
GRAFF: Ah, but wait, there's a condition. (reads) Whilst relinquishing freehold and suzerainty in the planet Ribos in the constellation of Scytha, Magellanic Mining etcetera, etcetera, retains to itself, its subsidiaries and appointed agents the exploitation of the mineral wealth of the said planet in perpetuity. They know about it, Sholakh!
SHOLAKH: Does this affect your Highness's plans?
GRAFF: Sholakh, jethrik could guarantee success, and quicker than ever seemed possible.

[Outside the Graff's quarters]

(Garron is eavesdropping on his wrist communicator.)

GRAFF [OC]: This planet contains a fortune, don't you see? And all we have to do is dig it out.
GARRON: Good thinking, Graff.

(Footsteps approach. Garron turns off his wrist-comm, then walks past the Doctor and Romana whilst calling out in a mummerset accent.)

GARRON: Four o'clock and all's well caused.

(Garron leaves.)

DOCTOR: Extraordinary.
ROMANA: What is?
DOCTOR: Well, you heard.
ROMANA: Four of the clock and all's well? Obviously just a ritual greeting and reassurance.
DOCTOR: But he said it in a Somerset accent. Somerset's one of the Earth counties.
ROMANA: Ah, but there's no space service to Ribos, Doctor. According to Bartholomew's Planetary Gazetteer, it has a protected class three society. So there can't be any Earth aliens on Ribos.
DOCTOR: Maybe he's a cricket scout. Yes, they could do with a good leg spinner.

(The Doctor starts to bowl an imaginary cricket ball.)

ROMANA: What's that supposed to mean?
DOCTOR: What? Oh nothing, nothing. Remember Rule one. Come on.

[Graff's quarters]

SHOLAKH: Highness, we must not lose sight of our plan.
GRAFF: Do you think I ever shall? Do you think I can rest for one moment until I've won back the Levithian crown which is mine by right? Everything, everything must be subordinate to that purpose.
SHOLAKH: Forgive me, Highness. I know that nothing will ever weaken your resolve.
GRAFF: Correct, Sholakh. But it would seem that providence has placed in my hand a weapon already forged.
SHOLAKH: I don't understand.
GRAFF: Sholakh, this planet is ideally placed for use as a forward base. But to give it a technology, to train primitives in a thousand skills, to raise a battle fleet with which to conquer our homeland would be the work of a lifetime.
SHOLAKH: There is no better way to spend a lifetime, Highness.
GRAFF: But if we can find this jethrik, if we mine it and sell it, we could hire an army and a hundred battle cruisers.
SHOLAKH: You mean from outside the Alliance?
GRAFF: Well, of course! Pontonese ships, mercenaries from Shalankie. Why, it might not even be necessary to sell the jethrik. We could trade with them directly.
SHOLAKH: Oh, dangerous if it came to the ears of the Alliance.
GRAFF: The time saved would be worth the risk.

[Outside the Relic room]

(The tracer is clicking madly.)

ROMANA: It's something through there.

(They tiptoe past a snoring guard. The Doctor unbars the door.)

DOCTOR: Did they teach you anything about locks at the Academy?
ROMANA: No, of course not.
DOCTOR: Sonic screwdriver. You'll like this. Keep an eye on the sentry.
ROMANA: Why?
DOCTOR: Sleeping on duty's a serious offence. If anyone comes, you can wake him up.
ROMANA: You do know that sarcasm's an adjusted stress reaction?

(The Doctor unlocks the door with the screwdriver.)

ROMANA: Very impressive.
DOCTOR: It was nothing.

[Relic room]

DOCTOR: Ceremonial regalia, sacred relics.
ROMANA: Must be the state strong room.
DOCTOR Mmm.
ROMANA: Magnificent jewellry.
DOCTOR: Never mind that. Let's just find the segment. It'll be daylight soon.

(The rod starts clicking again.)

ROMANA: It's something in here.
DOCTOR: Good. Let's locate it, convert it, and get out of here before the locals wake up.

[Relic room roof]

(A Riban guard walks out of the tower to the metal cover as the bells toll to greet the dawn. He puts down his bag and unfastens the cover. Unstoffe comes down some steps and greets him with an Irish accent and a smile.)

UNSTOFFE: Top o' the morning to you, my friend.

[Relic room]

(The Doctor is trying to open the base of the display case with his sonic screwdriver.)

ROMANA: Why is it taking so long?
DOCTOR: Because they're multilevered interlocks.
ROMANA: Well, get on with it then.

(Romana goes out to keep watch.)

DOCTOR: Get on with it? Get

[Relic room roof]

(The guard drinks from Unstoffe's flagon, almost emptying it.)

UNSTOFFE: See, you might as well finish it off.
SHRIEVE: Any more of that stuff and I'll not be able to blow the Shriven, Shrivenzale in for its feed.
UNSTOFFE: Here, let me give you a hand.
SHRIEVE: Thanks.

(They lift off the cover and the Shrieve looks down into the pen.)

SHRIEVE: Is the is the beast waiting there already? I, I, I can't see. My eyes.

(Unstoffe catches the Shrieve as he falls and lays him down. He picks up an animal horn and blows it.)

[Relic room]

(Romana hears the horn and closes the Jewel Room door.)

DOCTOR: One more lock to go.

(Romana ducks into the Shrivenzale's pen to find where the sound is coming from.)

[Outside the Relic room]

(The Captain and his guards arrive to start a new day guarding the Crown Jewels.)

CAPTAIN: Right. Lower away.

(The guards begin to lower the door between the pen and the Jewel room. The Shrivenzale stirs.)

[Relic room]

ROMANA [OC]: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Romana?
ROMANA [OC]: Doctor, I'm over here!

(Romana is pinned under the descending door. The Doctor wriggles under to try and brace it.)

ROMANA: Quickly! Doctor, do something!

(The Shrivenzale wakes, it's blood-covered jaws gaping right in front of the Doctor's face.)

Part Two

[Outside the Relic room]

(The pen gate won't go all the way down.)

SHRIEVE: Captain?
CAPTAIN: What is it?
SHRIEVE: There's some obstruction.
CAPTAIN: Take it up, then. It could be the Shrivenzale.

[Relic room]

(The Doctor and Romana scramble back into the main room.)

DOCTOR: Quickly!

[Outside the Relic room]

(The Shrivenzale stops growling.)

CAPTAIN: There. It must have been the beast.
SHRIEVE: I pray we didn't harm it. It's dangerous enough at the best of times.
CAPTAIN: That's why it's there, you dolt.
SHRIEVE: Shall I take it up a bit further, sir, just in case?
CAPTAIN: No, that's far enough. Lower away again.

[Relic room]

(The pen door shuts.)

ROMANA: That thing. What is it?
DOCTOR: A Shrivenzale.
ROMANA: I never imagined. Are there many creatures like that in other worlds?
DOCTOR: Millions. Millions! You shouldn't have volunteered if you're scared of a little thing like that.
ROMANA: I'm not scared, I'm just. Listen!

(There are marching footsteps approaching.)

DOCTOR: Let's hide. Hide. The locks.
ROMANA: We could explain, surely.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, we can explain. Sorry old thing, we're just helping ourselves to your Crown Jewels! They'd have our hands off before you could say Rassilon's Rod.

(The Doctor picks up the locks from the floor under the display case.)

ROMANA: (sotto) Rassilon's Rod?

[Outside the Relic room]

SHRIEVE: Fully down, Captain.

(The Captain looks at the lock on the door.)

SHRIEVE: Something wrong, sir?
CAPTAIN: Strange.

[Relic room]

DOCTOR: Of course, they might not chop our hands off. They might just feed us to the Shrivenzale.
ROMANA: Someone's here.

(They take cover behind two sword display stands conveniently placed on either side of the door. Then she notices that they've left the rod on the floor. They both go to get it, the Doctor grabbing it first. The pair are back in their hiding places when the Captain opens the doors and enters and kneels before the Crown.)

CAPTAIN: We give thanks for the dawn of a new day.
SHRIEVES: We give thanks.
CAPTAIN: And the retreat of the night and the powers of darkness.
SHRIEVES: We give thanks.

(The Captain turns and gives his staff to the senior Shrieve.)

CAPTAIN: Light the domes.

(The Shrieve goes round the room 'turning on' the electric lights while the Captain examines the floor by the Shrivenzale's pen. The Shrieve returns the staff to the Captain, who continues to look for signs of intruders. Garron enters and kneels. He uses his posh accent here.)

GARRON: I give thanks for a safe journey.
CAPTAIN: You! Where are you from?
GARRON: I am from the north, sir. Just arrived.
CAPTAIN: The North, eh? Your pass.
GARRON: Oh yes, yes, of course, sir. This is for myself and my colleagues.

(The Captain examines the small scroll.)

CAPTAIN: Purpose of your journey?
GARRON: Trade, Captain. I am a merchant.
CAPTAIN: Rather you than me, sir. It's no pleasure crossing the tundra in the Icetime.
GARRON: I have a small favour to beg.
CAPTAIN: Speak.
GARRON: I am only in a modest way of business myself, but I have a colleague who is carrying a very substantial sum. In excess of a million gold opeks.
CAPTAIN: A million?
GARRON: More than a million.
CAPTAIN: That could mean trouble.
GARRON: My words exactly. I mean, it's putting temptation in the way of dishonest citizens. There's so much lawlessness
CAPTAIN: If word of that were to get out
GARRON: We could be murdered in our beds. Now, what I was thinking was, sir, if he could be persuaded to deposit the money in a safe place, such as here, for example.
CAPTAIN: Nowhere safer, that's for sure.
GARRON: That's what I told him, sir. I mean, here it could be guarded by your men all day, your Shrieves at arms, and by the beast at night, along with the jewels and relics. What better security, I ask you. I mean, no one would dare to try to steal in here, would they?
CAPTAIN: As you say, no one would dare. They know the penalties.
GARRON: Well, what do you say, Captain? Hmm? To avoid trouble?
CAPTAIN: It's extremely irregular. This relic room is a holy place.
GARRON: Well, naturally we'd make a small contribution to the funds. Say one hundred gold opeks?
CAPTAIN: One hundred opeks?
GARRON: Or even a thousand. I'd leave it to you, of course, to handle the, er, paying in.
CAPTAIN: And for how long would this money stay here?
GARRON: Oh, only for a night or two. Maybe even only for one night.
CAPTAIN: Bring the money later.
GARRON: I am deeply obliged, Captain. Deeply obliged. I'll go and tell my colleague.

(Garron leaves, followed a few moments later by the Captain. No longer under the watchful eye of their superior, the Shrieves go to the back of the room and start quietly gossiping with their backs to the doorway. The Doctor and Romana tiptoe out.)

[Graff's quarters]

GARRON: I trust the Graff spent a comfortable night, or as comfortable as these somewhat primitive conditions permit.
GRAFF: I've slept in worse places.
GARRON: Of course. Your Highness' frontier campaigns in the service of the Alliance are rightly famous.
GRAFF: Are they indeed? Well, the Alliance forgot them fast enough when I returned home to find my half-brother had claimed the Levithian throne!
GARRON: Oh. I thought your Highness had appealed that matter to the High Court of the Cyrrhenic Empire.
GRAFF: That appeal was rejected! After all I had done for the Alliance, not a word was said in my favour, not a single hand raised in my support!
SHOLAKH: Highness, it is not well to think of the past. There is still the future to make.
GRAFF: Good advice Sholakh, as always. So, Garron, we must talk of the future. In particular, this quite preposterous figure of ten million gold opeks.
GARRON: I've already said that a close effort might be considered, Highness. Perhaps when I've shown you something of the planet?
GRAFF: One moment. These conditions of sale, do you maintain that they're reasonable?

[Corridor]

ROMANA: Doctor, let's ignore this stranger and just concentrate on getting the first segment out of the strong room. We're wasting time.
DOCTOR: Suppose he's after the same thing as we are?
ROMANA: The crown?
DOCTOR: Don't jump to conclusions about anyone or anything. It could lead you astray.
ROMANA: AH. I'll try and remember that.
DOCTOR: Good. And don't be sarcastic, either. That can also get you into trouble.
ROMANA: Well?
DOCTOR: If he's after the same thing as we are, maybe he's got a plan to get it out of the room.
ROMANA: Oh, so all we'd have to do is wait for him to get it.
DOCTOR: Mmm.
ROMANA: And then what?
DOCTOR: On the other hand, he could just be an agent of the Black Guardian.

(The Doctor puts his hand over his mouth as he says the last word.)

ROMANA: The what?
DOCTOR: Nothing, nothing, nothing. You're not supposed to know about that.
ROMANA: About what?
DOCTOR: About nothing! All you need to know is that there might be some competition in our search.
ROMANA: I do wish you'd stop treating me like a child, Doctor. I'm nearly a hundred and forty, you know.
DOCTOR: Really? You're in wonderful condition.
ROMANA: Oh, thank you. What, what competition?
DOCTOR: On the other hand, he might be just an innocent crook. It's fascinating, isn't it? Don't you think?
ROMANA: Yes.

[Graff's quarters]

GRAFF: Tell me, Garron, why is Magellanic Mining selling this planet?
GARRON: Highness, I'm only the agent. Some shortage of liquidity, perhaps? They may require capital to finance some other project. Who can say?
SHOLAKH: Yet they wish to retain the mineral rights in perpetuity.
GARRON: Oh, that's a common condition in these cases. It can't possibly affect the Graff's enjoyment of the property.
GRAFF: I think it could.
GARRON: But Highness, a Grade three planet. The natives protected. My clients can't possibly begin mining here, with all the importation of technology that would entail, until Ribos is accorded at least Grade two status.
SHOLAKH: When will that be?
GARRON: As yet, they haven't even discovered the telescope. Many of the natives believe that the planet is flat and if they walked far enough they would fall off the edge. There's no chance of Ribos reaching Grade two for many thousands of years.
GRAFF: I see.
GARRON: May you live a long life, Graff, but not that long.
GRAFF: Sholakh.

[Relic room]

GARRON: Look at the workmanship. And all done by hand, of course, using the simplest implements. There's a certain honest peasant artistry about these pieces that speaks of the soil, don't you think?
SHOLAKH: (sotto) Highness?
GRAFF: (sotto) I've seen it.
GARRON: Now, over here
GRAFF: Wait. This blue stone, it's what we call jethrik, isn't it?
GARRON: Oh, I've no idea. Pretty though, whatever it is. Perhaps a Shrieve can tell us something about it. I say, fellow. The blue stone there. Do you know anything about it?

(The Shrieve turns out to be Unstoffe, doing the Mummerset accent. Garron winces at the sound.)

UNSTOFFE: Oo ar, sir, that I do, that I do. That be what we call scringe stone, sir.
GARRON: Scringe stone. Oh, how interesting.
UNSTOFFE: You hangs a bit o' that around your neck, and you won't never suffer from the scringes no matter how cold it be. You'll just stay as supple and as fresh as a little old babbit in the Suntime, sir, and that be a proven fact.
GARRON: Oh, really. Oh, there's just one more thing. It's fairly common around these parts, I suppose?
UNSTOFFE: Common, sir?
GARRON: Yes. There's a lot of it about, isn't there?
UNSTOFFE: Oh no, sir. No, no, no. I wouldn't say that. Well, there used to be, y'see, but well, then they lost the secret of the mine, sir. And well, that was three Icetimes ago.
GRAFF: What do you mean, lost the secret?
UNSTOFFE: Lost the secret of where it be, sir. Well, what they reckon is that one Icetime, there was a glacier, you see, and it moved all the rocks about. Well, ever since then, they've been a-searching and a-searching for that old mine but, well, I don't reckon that they'll ever find it now, sir.
SHOLAKH: Even if the entrance has disappeared, surely they know the area to search?
UNSTOFFE: Well, the trouble is sir all the old miners is dead now, and there bain't be nothing written down in writing, well, cos there weren't no scholars in them days. All they do know, sir, is that it's up in the Granite Mountains.
GARRON: Oh, pay no heed to him. One knows how these fellows exaggerate.

(The Doctor and Romana are the other side of the display case, listening.)

UNSTOFFE: Oh no, sir. No, no, I know what I'm talking about. Y'see, my poor old dad spent his life a-searching for that scringe stone mine. They reckon as how he found it in the end, just afore he died.
GRAFF: Where?
UNSTOFFE: Er, they found him out in the tundra, sir, frozen stiff, his poor ol' pickaxe beside him, and that there bit of scringe stone in his pocket. And that be as true as I'm stood standing here, sir.

(Garron treads on Unstoffe's foot.)

GARRON: Incredible.
SHOLAKH: (sotto) The man's making it up, sir.
GRAFF: (sotto) No one jests with me, Sholakh. You know that.
SHOLAKH: (sotto) No, sir. And the jethrik is real enough.
GRAFF: You say your father found this piece of scringe stone?
UNSTOFFE: Yes, sir, in his poor old frozen pocket, wrapped up in er, in this here bit of parchment.

(Unstoffe takes a piece of parchment from inside his jacket and hands it to the Graff.)

SHOLAKH: Looks like a rough map.
UNSTOFFE: Yeah, that's what I reckons, sir. Maybe, next Suntime, I might go looking for that old scringe stone mine myself. Well, if you gentlemen'll excuse me, I'm just going off duty.

(Unstoffe takes the parchment, puts his finger to his Cossack hat in salute, and leaves. The Doctor and Romana walk up behind Garron.)

GARRON: I shouldn't take a word of that seriously. I know these fellows. They do like to pitch a yarn.
DOCTOR: Oh, I don't know. My friend and I couldn't help overhearing. That's my friend, Romana, and I thought it had the ring of truth. Do you think it had the ring of truth?
ROMANA: Oh yes. And he had such a honest, open face.
GARRON: Do you live in Shur?
DOCTOR: No, we come from the north.
GARRON: I see. My friends are visitors here, too.
GRAFF: It's time we were moving on, Garron.
GARRON: Oh, you're quite right, there's such a lot to see. Well, I do hope you'll enjoy your stay in Shur.
ROMANA: Thank you.
GARRON: Well, gentlemen, I'm with you.

(Garron, the Graff and Sholakh leave. The Doctor sees the blue stone for the first time.)

DOCTOR: Incredible.
ROMANA: What is?
DOCTOR: That is. That's the biggest lump of jethrik I've ever set eyes on.
ROMANA: Jethrik? But I thought he said it was
DOCTOR: I wonder if old Taffy knows the real value of it. Scringe stone found in a dead man's pocket? A lost mine? A phony map. Are people still falling for that old guff? I mean, are they?
ROMANA: You mean you didn't believe his story?
DOCTOR: No.
ROMANA: But he had such an honest face.
DOCTOR: Romana, you can't be a successful crook with a dishonest face, can you.
ROMANA: Oh.

[Graff's quarters]

GRAFF: Eight million opeks, Garron. That's my final word.
GARRON: I'd have to put that to my clients.
SHOLAKH: How long will that take?
GARRON: I have a shuttle concealed near the city. As you'll appreciate, there can be no direct communication from here. I'd have to go to Starpros and contact my clients by hypercable. Say, three weeks to a month?
GRAFF: Very well.
GARRON: My clients will, I know, of course demand a deposit. Say, two million opeks?
GRAFF: A deposit?
GARRON: Simply as a mark of good faith.
GRAFF: Garron, I have made a firm offer! I am a Royal Prince of the Greater Cyrrhenic Empire. I do not go back on my word.
GARRON: Highness, believe me, if it was simply between us, a handshake would be sacred. A bond of honour. Unhappily, I know my clients will demand proof of a deposit.
GRAFF: I don't carry such sums about with me. One million may be possible.
GARRON: In your case, Highness, I'm sure one million will be acceptable.
SHOLAKH: One moment. Do you propose to fly to Starpros with this deposit?
GARRON: Oh, you're very prudent. You're thinking once this fellow gets his hands on the money, he might fail to come back, might disappear into the blue, is that it?
SHOLAKH: Well, such things have been known, though few men would be foolish enough to cross the Graff Vynda-K in such a matter.
GARRON: No, no, no, no. No one would ever dare. The money will be lodged here with the Captain of Shrievalty. It will be put in a place where nobody can touch it, guarded night and day. You need have no fear on that score.
GRAFF: That sounds satisfactory. Sholakh, go to the ship and fetch the money.
SHOLAKH: Highness.
GARRON: I will come with you to the city wall. Highness.

(Sholakh and Garron leave. The Graff goes to the fire to warm his hands and spots a tiny microphone placed just inside the chimney. He puts it back where he found it.)

[Corridor]

(The Doctor is sort of pacing, placing his feet heel to toe.)

ROMANA: I do wish you'd explain what's happening, Doctor.
DOCTOR: You've got all the facts, study them.
ROMANA: Oh, that's very helpful.
DOCTOR: Nonsense. Good mental exercise. An Academy graduate doesn't need things explaining, surely?
ROMANA: I will not give way to feelings of psychofugal hostility.
DOCTOR: Hmm? What?
ROMANA: We have a negative empathy, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Splendid. Let's go.

[Castle courtyard]

GARRON: I think that I could strangle you, Unstoffe!
UNSTOFFE: You are doing, you old fool! Get your hands off!
GARRON: Scringe stones, lost mines. I was sweating blood listening to that junk.
UNSTOFFE: Well, I thought it was original.
GARRON: You thought what?
UNSTOFFE: Well, they loved that bit about my poor old dad finding the mine.
GARRON: And that's another thing, you greedy little creep. If you're thinking of selling them that map, just forget it.
UNSTOFFE: A little extra never hurt.
GARRON: Listen, this is a hit-and-run business. One bite and away. If you stick around and give the mark time to think, you're kaput. All you'll collect is a big ball and chain around the ankle.
UNSTOFFE: All right, Garron. I was just trying to display initiative. Hey, (mummerset) what did you think of the accent?
GARRON: My past life flashed before my eyes, that's what I thought of it. This Graff's no softie. He's a big bad soldier, and if he rumbles that he's being conned, then you and I are going to wind up very very
UNSTOFFE: Dead?
GARRON: That's the word I was searching for, so remember it, my boy.
UNSTOFFE: In this matter, I'm in complete agreement with you, Garron. How's it going?
GARRON: Sholakh's fetching the money. One million.
UNSTOFFE: Great. Hey, look, he's got to come back this way. Why don't we wait here and mug him?
GARRON: Stick to the plan. Stick to what's decided.
UNSTOFFE: Doping that beast again? Going down that shaft again?
GARRON: Yes. Now, it's time you got back to the city. We'll meet at the shaft again as arranged.
UNSTOFFE: Right. Hey, er, have you noticed that big fellow, the one with the girl?
GARRON: I've been noticing him quite a lot lately.

[Relic room roof]

(The Doctor removes the cover to the Shrivenzale's pen.)

DOCTOR: Here, the other way in. Look, marks of a grappling iron.
ROMANA: Ah. They must have used a rope ladder.
DOCTOR: Yes. Garron and old honest face must have planted the jethrik in the cabinet last night.
ROMANA: Why?
DOCTOR: Because they're trying to sell the map of a nonexistent mine, that's why.
ROMANA: That's no business of ours, Doctor. We've got more important things to do.
DOCTOR: I agree. I wouldn't dream of interfering.

(The Doctor replaces the cover. The Shrivenzale growls below.)

ROMANA: How did they get past that?
DOCTOR: They drugged it, otherwise, you and I wouldn't have been here now, eh? What do we do next? No, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. They've got to come back for the jethrik and the gold, all right? Now, when they do come back
ROMANA: We'll be here waiting for them.
DOCTOR: Right!

[Graff's quarters]

(Sholakh enters.)

SHOLAKH: Highness
GRAFF: Shush.

(The Graff takes the microphone from the chimney and shows it to Sholakh. He puts it back and they both leave.)

[Outside the Graff's quarters]

SHOLAKH: It is not part of this world, Highness.
GRAFF: Garron must've planted it.
SHOLAKH: To spy on us? Why?
GRAFF: Perhaps to learn how much I was willing to pay, or perhaps he is not all that he seems.
SHOLAKH: In what way, Highness?
GRAFF: I've been thinking about that guard.
SHOLAKH: Huh. The one whose father found the jethrik?
GRAFF: Yes. Remarkable coincidence, Sholakh, perhaps too remarkable to be believable.
SHOLAKH: But Highness, that piece of jethrik
GRAFF: Yes?
SHOLAKH: Well, it's the biggest piece I've ever seen. I mean, there must be enough in that to power an entire battle fleet for a complete campaign.
GRAFF: Oh, yes. Enough to make a man rich beyond the dreams of avarice.
SHOLAKH: Far beyond, Highness. Therefore
GRAFF: Therefore, he cannot be aware of its true value.
SHOLAKH: What are the Graff's wishes?
GRAFF: Keep a careful watch on Garron. He may know a genuine source of jethrik. If he's not, if he's playing me false, he will die.

[Relic room]

(The Graff, Sholakh and Garron enter.)

GARRON: Ah, here we are. Sorry to have kept you.
CAPTAIN: You have the money?
GARRON: Gold coinage to the value of one million opeks in weight.
CAPTAIN: In here.

(Garron takes a bag from Sholakh and put it in the cabinet at the back of the room. The Captain closes it up.)

SHOLAKH: Don't you wish to count it?
CAPTAIN: I have no time, nor have you.
GARRON: The Captain is doing us a favour by seeing that the money is in safe custody. Now, if you will kindly give me a receipt.
CAPTAIN: A what?
GARRON: Your signature on this, please. My friend may have to prove that he has money at his disposal. I'll hold those, shall I?

(Garron takes the Captain large key ring from him and turns around. He does something with the keys.)

GARRON: My back?

(The Captain signs the paper against Garron's back.)

CAPTAIN: There you are.
GARRON: Ah, wonderful. Sorry to have kept you.

(Garron returns the keys to their rightful holder.)

CAPTAIN: I have to lock up now and set the Shrivenzale free.
GARRON: Oh, a most interesting evening ceremony that. I don't know if my friends from the north would care to watch.
GRAFF: I'm afraid we shall have to hurry if we are to be in our quarters before curfew.
GARRON: Well, dear Captain, perhaps some other time, hmm? Good night.

[Relic room roof]

(Unstoffe drops another joint of meat down into the Shrivenzale's pen as the curfew tolls.)

GARRON: It'll be easier this time.
UNSTOFFE: Well, you go, then.

(The Doctor and Romana are on steps going up the side of the rest of the tower, above and behind the would-be thieves.)

DOCTOR: Stay here and watch them.
ROMANA: Where are you going?
DOCTOR: I'm going to try and get down there before them.
GARRON: The key.
UNSTOFFE: You're sure he didn't miss it?
GARRON: He's got a dozen that size. Now, it's time you went.
UNSTOFFE: Well, I hope this is the right one.
GARRON: Why can't you have a little faith, my boy. I've been palming keys since before you were born. Down you go.

(Unstoffe starts down, but the Shrivenzale roars.)

UNSTOFFE: Couldn't we wait just a little bit longer?
GARRON: Why?
UNSTOFFE: You haven't seen the size of that thing's teeth.

[Outside the Relic room]

(A guard is dozing in his sentry box. The Doctor tiptoes past, but -)

SHRIEVE: Halt!
DOCTOR: What? What?
SHRIEVE: Who are you? What are you doing out after curfew?
DOCTOR: I couldn't sleep either.
SHRIEVE: Stay where you are.

(The Shrieve puts a whistle to his lips.)

DOCTOR: What? No, please. Please, don't blow that. You'll wake everybody up.
SHRIEVE: I'm calling the watch. Nobody's allowed out after curfew without permission from the Captain.
DOCTOR: Oh, permission. Permission? I've got permission. Do you want to see my permission?
SHRIEVE: Come on, then. No tricks.
DOCTOR: Tricks? Oh, dear chap. My dear.

(The Doctor holds a gold watch on a chain in front of the Shrieve's face.)

DOCTOR: Look.

(In the Relic room, Unstoffe crawls out of the Shrivenzale's pen and goes to the display case. Once again, he prepares to cut a hole in the glass.)

DOCTOR: Your eyes are closing. Sit down. Closing. That's right. Shush.

(As Unstoffe removes the jethrik, the Shrieve starts snoring in his sentry box. Unstoffe then goes to unlock the cabinet and removes the bag of money. The Doctor unbars the door and Unstoffe hides behind one of the sword displays. The Doctor enters and sees the open cabinet. Unstoffe runs out through the door and bars it to trap the Doctor before running off. The Shrieve wakes and blows his whistle. Inside the Relic room, the Doctor ducks into the Shrivenzale's pen)

[Relic room roof]

GARRON: Hurry, Unstoffe! What went wrong?
DOCTOR [OC]: Almost everything.

(The Doctor pops out of the shaft with his back towards Garron.)

DOCTOR: Don't move, we've got you covered.
GARRON: Who's got me covered?
ROMANA: We have.
GARRON: Oh.
DOCTOR: Stand up. Stand up!
GARRON: All right, officer. I'll come quietly.

(Garron holds out his hands for the cuffs. The Doctor shakes them.)

DOCTOR: That's very wise of you.

[Castle entrance]

(Sholakh, the Graff and his bodyguards are standing by the TARDIS.)

GARRON [OC]: Where are we going?
DOCTOR: Well, I've just got a few loose ends to tie up.

(The Doctor, Romana and Garron arrive.)

GARRON: Graff.
GRAFF: You look surprised, Garron, but as you see, you were expected. You and your accomplices. No one makes a fool of the Graff Vynda-K and lives. Sholakh.
SHOLAKH: Highness.
GRAFF: Execute them.

(The bodyguards move forward, alien weapons at the ready.)

SHOLAKH: Guards, take aim. Prepare to fire.
Part Three

[Castle entrance]

DOCTOR: No, no, hold it, hold it, hold it. This must be a case of mistaken identity.

(The Doctor pulls Garron in front of himself and Romana. Garron sinks to his knees.)

GARRON: Mercy, Highness. Spare these gray hairs.
GRAFF: Get up, you cringing cur!
DOCTOR: Yes, get up you cringing cur.
GARRON: I was just taking my friends for a little stroll.
GRAFF: Don't lie!
DOCTOR: Don't hit the cringing cur.
GRAFF: How dare you touch me!

(The Graff slaps the Doctor across the face with his glove. The Doctor returns the favour.)

GRAFF: Guards!
SHOLAKH: Highness. Let's go.
DOCTOR: What?
GRAFF: You're right, Sholakh. Take them to our quarters, Sholakh. It may please me to squeeze the truth out of them at my leisure.
SHOLAKH: You heard, guards! Move it!

[Relic room]

(The robbery has been discovered.)

SHRIEVE: Nothing else missing, sir.
CAPTAIN: Well, that's something. The thief must have been disturbed.

(The Captain examines the hole cut in the display case glass.)

CAPTAIN: Whoever he is, he knew what he was doing.

(The Graff enters.)

GRAFF: Captain! What is going on?
CAPTAIN: You heard the alarm?
GRAFF: Well?
CAPTAIN: The gold's been stolen.
GRAFF: It was in your keeping.
CAPTAIN: I have summoned the Seeker.
GRAFF: The Seeker?
CAPTAIN: A visionary. No wrongdoer escapes the Seeker's bones. I promise you, the thief will be taken before morning.
GRAFF: Yes, well, I hope you're confident.

(The Graff sees the hole in the glass.)

GRAFF: What!
CAPTAIN: What's wrong?
GRAFF: The jethrik! He's taken the jethrik!
CAPTAIN: The what?
GRAFF: The scringe stone! Look, it's gone!
CAPTAIN: I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing is missing from here except your gold, merchant.
GRAFF: A blue stone. It was here just (the penny drops) You don't know what scringe stone is?
CAPTAIN: I've never heard of it.

[Graff's quarters]

(The Graff's guards have found the core rod.)

SHOLAKH: What is that?

(The Doctor takes the rod.)

ROMANA: Actually, it's an instrument for
DOCTOR: It's for measuring time on nineteen different planets.
SHOLAKH: Let the girl answer.
DOCTOR: It can also be used for modifying dithyrambic oscillations, cleaning your shoes, sharpening pencils. It can even peel your apples.
SHOLAKH: You won't be so cheerful when the Graff is done with you, my friend.
DOCTOR: Oh, I don't know. Once I've explained this little mistake, I'm sure we'll be the best of friends. (to Romana) Sit down. I get on, I get on terribly well with the aristocracy.

(Garron's wrist comm. starts beeping. He tries to leave the room but is blocked by armour. They grab his wrist and crush the comm. into his skin.)

SHOLAKH: So, there's someone else, eh, Garron? Another accomplice. Well, we'll get him. The whole dirty gang of you will die together. Now, don't anyone poke your nose outside this door, unless you want it shot off.

(Sholakh and the bodyguards leave.)

DOCTOR: We're not a dirty gang, are we?
ROMANA: Of course not.

[Shur Concourse]

UNSTOFFE: Come on, you stupid old fool, come on!

(Poor ragged people regard him suspiciously.)

[Graff's quarters]

(Garron has got a nasty cut on his right hand, and is trying to pick pieces of comm. unit out of it.)

ROMANA: Let me see that.
GARRON: Oh, thank you.
ROMANA: Why did you do it?
GARRON: I was afraid Unstoffe might give our position away.
ROMANA: Unstoffe?
GARRON: Junior employee.
DOCTOR: What, with a open, honest face?
GARRON: Oh, yes, of course, you've seen him.
DOCTOR: Yes. I nearly bumped into him in the Reliquary. He's very light on his feet, isn't he?

(Romana sprays the now clean wound.)

ROMANA: There, that should stop the bleeding.
GARRON: Oh, thank you very much. You're very kind. If you like, I'll tell the Graff that you weren't part of my team. He won't believe me, of course.
DOCTOR: Then there's not much point in telling him, is there?
GARRON: Quite. It's ironic, isn't it?
ROMANA: What's ironic?
GARRON: You just made a competent arrest. I do admire professionalism, especially in the opposition. Now nobody'll ever hear of it. We'll all die together.
DOCTOR: Is that supposed to comforting?
GARRON: There's no comfort in dying. I've always said it was the last thing I want to do.
ROMANA: Why are you so sure the Graff will kill us? Who is he, anyway?
GARRON: He's a cold-blooded maniac. He likes killing people.
DOCTOR: Then wasn't it a little foolhardy trying to sell him a non-existent mine?
GARRON: Mine?
DOCTOR: Yes, mine. That's your game, isn't it? Mines!
GARRON: If mine's mines, what's yours?
ROMANA: We're searching for the first segment to the Key to Time.
DOCTOR: Oh, never mind about that. Let's get out of here.

(The Doctor takes a dog whistle from his coat pocket.)

ROMANA: What's that, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I'm going to whistle up some help. Cover your ears.

[Castle entrance]

(The TARDIS door opens.)

K9: Master?

[Shur Concourse]

(We get a better view of this open space with braziers, surrounded by small living areas divided off by curtains or blankets. An old man pulls back the curtain entrance to his hovel and calls to Unstoffe.)

BINRO: Psst! In here, quick! Come on in.

(Unstoffe disappears behind the curtain.)

SHRIEVE: You! Here!
BINRO [OC]: What is it?
SHRIEVE: Show yourself! Show yourself! Hurry!

(Binro throws back the curtain to reveal just himself and his pile of furs.)

BINRO: What's the matter? What's going on?
SHRIEVE: We're hunting the thief who broke into the Relic room tonight.
BINRO: That's what all the fuss is about. You haven't caught him yet, then?
SHRIEVE: Would we be poking about in these bone pits if we had? Oh, what a filthy hole.
BINRO: Oh well, now that I'm awake, you'll want to, er, want to see in the bed.
SHRIEVE: You can keep your fleas. I know your face, don't I?
BINRO: Maybe. It was well known in Shur once.
SHRIEVE: Of course. Binro. Binro the Heretic. So you're down to this, are you?
BINRO: I live as I must.
SHRIEVE: Not for much longer by the looks of you. Well, you won't be much missed, Binro.
BINRO: You think I care for the opinion of a lout like you?
SHRIEVE: Keep a civil tongue. That old neck of yours would snap like a dry twig.

(The Shrieve leaves.)

BINRO: Hey, it's all right. He's gone.

[Relic room]

(A woman with a painted face and wearing a hat with antlers, is casting spells.)

SEEKER: Bones of our fathers, bones of our kings, seek and find. By the flesh that once clothed you, by the spirit that moved you, seek. Seek and find. Seek in the Icetime. Seek in the Suntime. Seek and find!
SHOLAKH: Primitive mumbo jumbo.
GRAFF: They believe in it. The Captain says it never fails.
SEEKER: Come to the circle, gods of the ice. Come to the circle, come to the bones. Show, show, show what I seek! Aiee! I see him. He is at the place of fires.
CAPTAIN: The Concourse? My men have searched that warren.
WOMAN: That is where he is. We will go there. I will seek him out.

(The Captain follows the Seeker out.)

SHOLAKH: What now, Highness?
GRAFF: Fetch the guards. We'll follow them, and if they find him
SHOLAKH: We take the jethrik.
GRAFF: Tell the guards we may have to fight our way out of the city.

[Graff's quarters]

(K9 is trundling along the stone corridors of the castle. Romana is listening by the door.)

DOCTOR: When did you leave Earth, Garron?
GARRON: Oh, a long time ago. I was just an ambitious boy in those days, taking my first steps in life. Then I had a bit of trouble with a dissatisfied client and thought it best to leave.
DOCTOR: Really? What happened?
GARRON: He was an Arab. I sold him Sydney Harbour for fifty million dollars. Yeah, then he thought I should throw in this Opera House as well.
DOCTOR: No!
GARRON: Oh, yes!
DOCTOR: The Opera House?
GARRON: Yeah, the Opera House, but I refused. I mean, one must have some scruples, mustn't one.
DOCTOR: But of course.
GARRON: Well, I couldn't let that noble edifice to our cultural heritage fall in the wrong hands, could I?
DOCTOR: No.
GARRON: No. But my refusal upset him. He took the impressive documents that I had prepared to the government, and so my little ruse was prematurely rumbled. He came after me with a machine gun. It was the most harrowing experience. I never went back.
DOCTOR: I'm not surprised.
ROMANA: Doctor, there are men out there planning to kill us, and you're just sitting here chattering.
DOCTOR: Please don't panic, Romana. Come and sit down. Come on, come and sit down. Listen, when you've faced death as often as I have, this is much more fun. Go on, Garron. Tell us about the jethrik.
ROMANA: Jethrik. What's so special about jethrik?
DOCTOR: Tell her, Garron.
GARRON: She doesn't know about it?
DOCTOR: No, she doesn't, do you?
GARRON: I thought such ignorance only existed on Grade three planets like this.
ROMANA: Don't patronise me, Garron, just tell me.
GARRON: It's only the rarest and most powerful element in the universe. Without jethrik drive, there'd be no space warping and I'd still be safely at home on Earth.
DOCTOR: Where did you get your piece?
GARRON: Stroke of good luck. I acquired that some years ago.
DOCTOR: You stole it.
GARRON: Oh no, that's a very blunt word, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Fraud's another one. Tell me, Garron, how many jethrik mines have you sold since then?
GARRON: I don't sell mines, Doctor.
DOCTOR: No?
GARRON: No. I sell planets. That's how I realised you weren't from Alliance Security. They've been tailing me ever since I sold Mirabilis Minor to some three different purchasers. Oh, I was in my prime in those days, my golden period.
ROMANA: Do you know, I think his social maladjustment is entirely due to a deep rooted sense of rejection.
GARRON: Look, all I do is take a little from those that have too much and then I spread it around a bit. I help to keep the economy in balance.
ROMANA: Yes, but if this piece of jethrik's so valuable, why don't you just sell it? And then you'd have plenty to spread amongst those who need it.
GARRON: Oh, I don't think it's worth all that much.
DOCTOR: Tell me something, Garron. Why do you think the Graff was interested in buying this planet even before you conned him into believing there was a jethrik mine here?
GARRON: He's crazy! You don't know about the Graff?
DOCTOR: I'm asking you, Garron.
GARRON: He was Emperor of Levithia once, and a bad one, a tyrant. Raised an expedition force to go off to the Frontier Wars, leaving his half-brother on the throne. And when the wars was ended, his people refused to let him return.
DOCTOR: And now he's got nowhere to go, is that it?
GARRON: Says he's looking for a new world.
DOCTOR: What? A new world?
GARRON: Yeah, that's why he's here. Somewhere where he can raise a battle fleet and force the Levithians to have him back. Ha! It's a mad, hopeless dream. But a madman's money jingles in my pocket as well as anyone's.
ROMANA: Mad or not, he saw through you.
GARRON: Oh, that was Unstoffe's fault, my dear. He's a terrible ham at heart.

(Somebody screams outside.)

DOCTOR: Shush!

[Outside the Graff's quarters]

SHOLAKH: All right now, pay attention. Orders from the Graff. It seems that these natives have got a line on the thief, the one who took the jethrik and his Highness' gold. He's trapped in some place called the Concourse. Now, the natives are planning to raid this Concourse just before dawn, only we'll be there as well. And when they arrive, we'll shoot the lot of them, is that clear? No survivors, no tongue-waggers. We take the jethrik and the gold, and we head straight back for the ship. With any luck, we'll be gone before they know what's hit them. Kro. You stay on guard here. If all goes according to plan, you should hear the firing from here. When you do, kill all the prisoners immediately, understood?
KRO: Right, sir.

[Graff's quarters]

SHOLAKH [OC]: All right then, follow me.

(The bodyguards march away.)

DOCTOR: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of people are going to die if we don't get out of here.
GARRON: Including us.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ROMANA: We've got until dawn, Doctor. How long's that?
DOCTOR: Must be nearly dawn now.
ROMANA: Aren't you frightened?
DOCTOR: Yes, terrified.
GARRON: If only my wrist speaker was working, I could warn him. I mean, as long as he's free, we've got something to bargain with.
DOCTOR: No, they made too good a job of that.
GARRON: Hey, wait a minute. Now, where is it.

(Garron takes the microphone from the chimney.)

GARRON: A little hearing aid I planted earlier. It's on the same wavelength as Unstoffe's two-way. Unfortunately, it's got no call button.
DOCTOR: Give me what's left of your own two-way.

[Binro's hovel]

(Unstoffe finishes a hot drink.)

UNSTOFFE: Thank you. Thank you for helping me escape.
BINRO: Oh, it was nothing.
UNSTOFFE: Why'd you do it?
BINRO: Well, I know what it's like when every man's hand is against you.
UNSTOFFE: Binro the Heretic.
BINRO: Oh, you heard that. Well, it wasn't much of a heresy, my friend. Just a little thing.
UNSTOFFE: What?
BINRO: Oh, it was many years ago now. Have you ever looked up at the sky at night, and seen those little lights?
UNSTOFFE: Mmm hmm.
BINRO: They are not ice crystals.
UNSTOFFE: Go on.
BINRO: I believe they are suns, just like our own sun. And perhaps each sun has other worlds of its own, just as Ribos is a world. What do you say to that?
UNSTOFFE: It's an interesting theory.
BINRO: What? Hey, a broad-minded man. Perhaps in the north, they are a different people after all. You see, my friend, I have taken measurements of those little lights and of our sun, and I can prove that Ribos moves. It circles our sun, travelling far away and then returning. That's the reason we have our two seasons, Suntime and Icetime.
UNSTOFFE: Nobody believed you.
BINRO: Nah, those blockheads. They prefer to believe that Ribos is some sort of battleground over which the Sun Gods and the Ice Gods fight for supremacy. They said that if I did not publicly recant my belief, the gods would destroy our world.
UNSTOFFE: And did you?
BINRO: In the end. See these hands? Useless for work now. That's why I live here.
UNSTOFFE: Binro, supposing I were to tell you that everything you've just said is absolutely true. There are other worlds, other suns.
BINRO: You believe it too?
UNSTOFFE: I know it for a fact. You see I come from one of those other worlds.
BINRO: You?
UNSTOFFE: I thought I should tell you, because one day, even here, in the future, men will turn to each other and say, Binro was right.

[Graff's quarters]

DOCTOR: Put your finger there, Romana.

(Romana holds down a piece of the modified wrist comm.)

DOCTOR: Of course, I can't promise you that this will work.
GARRON: Without a receiver, we won't even know if it's worked anyway.
DOCTOR: Right, so keep your fingers crossed. Not you, Romana.

[Outside the Graff's quarters]

(Kro is the first victim of K9 mark II's nose laser. Thump.)

K9: Most satisfactory.

[Binro's hovel]

(Unstoffe's wrist comm. beeps, jolting Binro awake.)

BINRO: What is it?
UNSTOFFE: Er, it's, er, somebody trying to make me happy.

[Graff's quarters]

DOCTOR: That should catch his attention. You use it, Garron. He knows your voice.

(K9 enters.)

ROMANA: K9!
K9: Master. Mistress.
DOCTOR: Just a moment, K9.
GARRON: What's that?
DOCTOR: Never mind about that, Garron. Get on with it.
GARRON: Hello, Unstoffe. This is Garron.

[Binro's hovel]

GARRON [OC]: You can't call me back, so listen carefully. You've been traced to the Concourse. They'll be raiding the place any minute. Get out while you still have a chance. I repeat
UNSTOFFE: Don't bother, I heard you the first time.
BINRO: There's only one chance for you now, my friend. We must take refuge in the Catacombs. Come, follow me.

[Graff's quarters]

(The Doctor and Garron carry Kro into the room.)

ROMANA: Is he dead?
K9: Negative. He'll be out for hours. I used stun at mark seven.
DOCTOR: Come on, quickly, let's get out of here.

[Outside the Graff's quarters]

(The Doctor picks up the bodyguard's weapon.)

DOCTOR: Which way's the Concourse?
GARRON: Straight ahead, down the stairs, then turn right.

(The Doctor gives Garron the weapon.)

DOCTOR: Come on. K9, don't stop at all the corners. Come on.

[Shur Concourse]

(Another incantation is underway.)

SEEKER: Bones, bones, shine in the darkness. Show what I seek. Shine with the ice light, shine with the corpse light. Bring to the circle the one whom I seek. If he be near me bring him before me. Bones of our fathers
SHOLAKH: Our men have covered all the exits, Highness. No one will escape.
SEEKER: Now, now, now! Aiee!

[Hall of the Dead]

(Binro opens a creaking door to a place with monumental tombs and lots of big candles.)

UNSTOFFE: What is this place?
BINRO: Everybody comes here eventually, though not always alive. They call it the Hall of the Dead.
UNSTOFFE: Let's not stop, then.
BINRO: The catacombs are this way. Come. Well, come. You're not afraid, are you?

[Shur city]

(Marching feet can be heard.)

GARRON: Well?
DOCTOR: The Concourse that way guarded.
GARRON: Look, I'll take a look this way, okay?

(Garron leaves.)

ROMANA: Doctor, if they're all out searching for Unstoffe, why don't we go down to the Relic room and get the segment? It'll be unguarded.
DOCTOR: Because it's not there.
ROMANA: Not there? But surely it's taken the shape of the crown.
DOCTOR: The crown has nothing to do with it. Look at the tracer.
ROMANA: Oh, that's the opposite direction from the Relic room.
DOCTOR: Yes, it's pointing toward Unstoffe and his piece of jethrik.
ROMANA: Oh, you mean it was disguised as the jethrik all along.
DOCTOR: Yes. I thought you'd have realised that, a bright girl like you.
ROMANA: How did you know?
DOCTOR: How many times do you think that crown has seen the light of day?
ROMANA: No idea.
DOCTOR: I'd say twice a century.
ROMANA: So?
DOCTOR: Listen, now listen. We took two bearings on the segment in the TARDIS, remember?
ROMANA: Ah ha.
DOCTOR: Now, obviously, the segment moved a considerable distance between the readings, so
ROMANA: But the second time, it stayed put in the cabinet and it could only have been there a day when we arrived, so it could only have been the lump of jethrik which didn't belong there.
DOCTOR: Exactly. Garron and Unstoffe planted it there.
ROMANA: Of course.
DOCTOR: Simple, isn't it?
ROMANA: Brilliant.

(Garron returns.)

DOCTOR: Well?
GARRON: All clear that way.
DOCTOR: Good. Unstoffe got the message.
GARRON: How'd you know?
DOCTOR: This little gadget points us toward the jethrik, and it's pointing that way.
GARRON: Unstoffe's got the jethrik?
DOCTOR: Exactly. Come on, follow me.

[Shur Concourse]

SEEKER: He has gone.
CAPTAIN: Gone? But he can't have.
SEEKER: He is no longer in this place.
CAPTAIN: But you can find him.
SEEKER: It will do no good. The one you seek is in the Catacombs.

(The Seeker gathers up her scrying bones and leaves.)

GRAFF: Well, Captain?
CAPTAIN: He's escaped us.
GRAFF: You assured me he would be found.
CAPTAIN: He has gone to the Catacombs. He'll die there. The matter's over.
GRAFF: No, Captain, the matter is not over. He has my gold.
CAPTAIN: Your gold, eh? My men will not go to the Catacombs for your gold.
SHOLAKH: Why not? What are these Catacombs?
CAPTAIN: They are an ancient labyrinth beneath the city. The home of the long dead and of the Ice Gods.

[Hall of the Dead]

DOCTOR: Careful, careful. These steps are treacherous.

[Catacombs]

(Claustrophobic and echoing.)

UNSTOFFE: How far do these stretch?
BINRO: Nobody knows. Our ancestors made them long, long ago, to house their dead. They say that the Ice Gods live here.
UNSTOFFE: But you don't believe in the Ice Gods, Binro.
BINRO: No. No, of course not.
UNSTOFFE: Look, do you want to go back?
BINRO: Yes. No, I'll stay here with you.

(Something growls in the dark.)

UNSTOFFE: What was that?
BINRO: The Shrivenzale, I think. A colony of the creatures lives down here.
UNSTOFFE: Do you mean the same as that thing that guards the Relic room?
BINRO: That was a small one.
UNSTOFFE: Look, Binro, I, I, I think we'd better think about this.
BINRO: The fact that they can exist down here proves that there must be another way up to the surface. See, they hunt for smaller animals on the tundra, and then return here to their lair to sleep.
UNSTOFFE: That's all very well, Binro, but can we tiptoe past them?
BINRO: Well, let's see, shall we?

[Hall of the Dead]

(Romana follows the clicking of the tracer.)

DOCTOR: Garron.
GARRON: Huh?
DOCTOR: Your friend's got a good nose for a hiding place.
ROMANA: Straight ahead.

[Catacombs]

K9: Sentient life form
DOCTOR: Shush!
K9: (sotto) Sentient life forms approaching.
DOCTOR: Which way?
K9: Behind us.
DOCTOR: What?
K9: Quick, into these holes.

(Catacombs are rows of niches for bodies. The Doctor's niche still contains a skeleton. Romana lies on top of Garron. The Graff and Sholakh arrive, leading the bodyguards.)

SHOLAKH: He'll have gone deeper than this.

(The skull tumbles out of the Doctor's hiding place. Crash!)

GRAFF: Now we have him. He cannot escape, and no one will ever know how he tried to trick the Graff Vynda-K.
Part Four

[Catacombs]

(The noise has attracted a shrivenzale towards them, it's growls echoing in the confined space.)

SHOLAKH: It's the beast! Take cover!

(Everyone vanishes until the creature has past.)

SHOLAKH: Guards, reform. These caves remind me of that labyrinth we had to fight through on Freytus. We moved in darkness. Every forward step things were squirming and crunching under our feet. Remember, Highness?
GRAFF: Almost a year without sight of sky. But these are not caves like those, Sholakh.
SHOLAKH: The air's the same, heavy and damp with the stench of death. No wonder the natives wouldn't come here.
GRAFF: Why think you now of the Freytus labyrinth? What troubles you?
SHOLAKH: Our problem's the same, Graff. I mean, there we had two legions searching for the enemy. Here, we have a few men searching for one. It'll take as long.
GRAFF: Still the pessimist. Even if it takes twice as long, I shall not leave this planet until I have that jethrik.
SHOLAKH: Then perhaps, Highness, we should have brought that old boneshaker with us.
GRAFF: The Seeker?
SHOLAKH: If she truly has the gift of sniffing out fugitives
GRAFF: You're right, Sholakh. Yes, by heaven. We'll force that old witch to lead us, even if we have to carry her. Come!

[Caves]

(The catacombs have given way to natural caves and tunnels.)

UNSTOFFE: You need a rest, Binro.
BINRO: No, no, no. I can go on.
UNSTOFFE: No, no, come on. I'm thinking of myself as well.
BINRO: Well, in that case
UNSTOFFE: Come on, sit down. Space travel rots the muscles, Binro.
BINRO: Space travel. How is it done, my friend? How do you fly between the stars?
UNSTOFFE: If we were to stay here the rest of our lives, Binro, I couldn't begin to explain that one.
BINRO: I understand. There's so much still to learn.

[Catacombs]

(The Doctor has got out of his niche and into that of Romana and Garron.)

ROMANA: Have they gone?
DOCTOR: No.
ROMANA: You nearly got us killed.
DOCTOR: If you call that being nearly killed, you haven't lived yet. Just stay with me, and you'll get a lot nearer.

(A shrivenzale growls.)

DOCTOR: In fact, you're a lot nearer right now.
ROMANA: You've got an unconscious death wish.
GARRON: Don't bicker!
DOCTOR: No. No bickering.
ROMANA: Never bicker.
GARRON: No, we should be looking for my invaluable young friend Unstoffe.
DOCTOR: Who's carrying a valuable piece of jethrik.
GARRON: What is property at such a time?
DOCTOR: Quite right, quite right.
ROMANA: What do we do now?
DOCTOR: You go that way, I'll go this way.
GARRON: Which way?
DOCTOR: That way.
GARRON: Oh, that way.
ROMANA: Back to the city?
DOCTOR: Well, someone's got to keep an eye on Vynda-K. Well, don't just lie there, do something.
ROMANA: What?
DOCTOR: Move.
GARRON: What, now?

(The shrivenzale moves away.)

DOCTOR: Now.
ROMANA: Now?
DOCTOR: Now!

(Romana and Garron run back towards the entrance. The Doctor stops by K9.)

DOCTOR: K9.
K9: You called, master?
DOCTOR: No, don't explain, don't explain. Look after those two. Off you go.
K9: Master.

[Caves]

(Unstoffe has handed the jethrik to Binro.)

UNSTOFFE: If you had the knowledge of how to use it, Binro, there's enough energy in there to move you and me across the universe.
BINRO: What? Really? No wonder men fight for it. But you didn't steal this from the Relic room. Where did you get it?
UNSTOFFE: It belonged to a friend of mine.
BINRO: The one who sent his voice through the air into your hand?
UNSTOFFE: Garron, yes. I was supposed to meet Garron in the Concourse. It was to be our contingency rendezvous.
BINRO: Yes. What?
UNSTOFFE: We were supposed to meet there if anything went wrong. He didn't turn up, so I suppose he must be in trouble himself.
BINRO: You're worried about him, aren't you, my friend.
UNSTOFFE: Yes. You see, we've worked together for a long time, and this was to be our last job. He often talks of going back to Hackney Wick.
BINRO: What's that?
UNSTOFFE: Well, for all I can make out, it's just a mud patch in the middle of nowhere. But I suppose it's home to him.
BINRO: I don't understand.
UNSTOFFE: Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking aloud. Well, you see, I've a feeling this was our last job after all, only it hasn't turned out quite the way we expected.
BINRO: Perhaps I should go back and look for him.
UNSTOFFE: Do you think you could find your way from here?
BINRO: From here, yes, but if we go any farther into these caves, it'll not be possible.
UNSTOFFE: And the deeper we go, the more chance there is of our being eaten, right?
BINRO: Yes, or of the roof falling in. You see, these caves are very old and dangerous. But on the other hand, there may be another way from here up to the surface. I'll do whatever you think is best, my friend.
UNSTOFFE: But there could be danger waiting for you back in the city.
BINRO: Who knows I helped you? No, no. Nobody notices old Binro the Heretic.
UNSTOFFE: You'd risk your life for me? Why?
BINRO: You wouldn't understand. For years, I was jeered and derided. I began to doubt even myself. Then you came along, and you told me I was right. Just to know that for certain, Unstoffe, well, is worth a life, eh?
UNSTOFFE: Binro.
BINRO: Yes?
UNSTOFFE: Here.
BINRO: What?

(Unstoffe takes off his wrist communicator.)

UNSTOFFE: You'd better take this, just in case Garron suspects it's some kind of trick.
BINRO: Oh, thanks. I'll try to hurry.
UNSTOFFE: Good luck.

[Castle courtyard]

(The Doctor is hiding behind a pillar, listening to the Graff.)

GRAFF: Captain, I'm tired of waiting. How much longer?
CAPTAIN: The Seeker will come in her own time.
GRAFF: That's not polite, is it, Sholakh?
SHOLAKH: It's grossly discourteous, Highness.
GRAFF: Grossly? You'd go so far as to say that, would you?
SHOLAKH: I'd even say insulting.
GRAFF: Then I have a right to be angry, Sholakh. Someone should be punished.
SHOLAKH: It'd teach him the value of good manners, Highness.
GRAFF: Precisely.

(The Graff uses his alien weapon to kill an off-screen Shrieve. The man dies with a gurgle. The Doctor uses the distraction to run past the group.)

SHOLAKH: An excellent shot, Highness.
CAPTAIN: He's dead! What have you done?
GRAFF: Slightly high and to the left.
SHOLAKH: Still an excellent shot.
GRAFF: Thank you.
CAPTAIN: You're not from the north. What are you?
GRAFF: Impatient, Captain! Tell the Seeker I want her here now!
SHOLAKH: What are you waiting for, Captain?

(The Captain leaves.)

SHOLAKH: That stirred them up a bit.
GRAFF: I flatter myself I know how to get the best from natives.

(The Graff follows the Captain. The Doctor watches the Shrieves carry away their fallen comrade from an upper window outside the Graff's quarters. He then goes inside to where Kro the bodyguard still lies unconscious.)

[Catacombs]

(K9 is leading Romana through the maze.)

ROMANA: Garron? Garron, where are you?
K9: He has departed, Mistress.
ROMANA: Well, that's obvious. But where?
K9: To see a man about a dog.
ROMANA: What?
K9: That was the information he imparted.
ROMANA: Well, why didn't you tell me earlier?
K9: You did not ask, Mistress. Which route, Mistress?

(Romana checks searches for the rod.)

ROMANA: The tracer. He's stolen the tracer! Oh, how could I have been such a fool.
K9: Question not understood. Kindly rephrase.
ROMANA: It's vital to get that tracer back. What can I do?
K9: I will run through my databanks for information.
ROMANA: I wasn't asking you, K9.
K9: No other entity is present.
ROMANA: I was talking to myself.
K9: That procedure is not logical. The purpose of speech is to communicate information.
ROMANA: Be quiet, K9. You're a very irritating computer.
K9: Mistress?
ROMANA: Oh, I'm sorry, K9. What can we do now?
K9: Seek, mistress.
ROMANA: Seek?

[Shur]

(The Graff's bodyguards lead the Seeker through the streets.)

SHOLAKH: Move yourself, unless you want my boot behind you.
GRAFF: We'll soon know the truth now, Sholakh, and if she proves a charlatan, we'll use her carcass for target practice.
SHOLAKH: Oh, she knows that already. Those bones of hers are shaking even when she's standing still.

(The Graff follows the Seeker. Sholakh spots a bodyguard standing in the shadows.)

SHOLAKH: You! Double up. What's keeping you?

[Caves]

(Unstoffe hears a clicking sound coming from the direction of the catacombs, and hides.)

GARRON: If I ain't standing at your feet, my son, this instrument has to be Japanese.
UNSTOFFE: Garron!
GARRON: Ah, there you are.
UNSTOFFE: How did you find me?
GARRON: Oh, the wonders of modern technology, my boy. This remarkable piece of equipment of a jethrik detector. In that bag, I perceive.
UNSTOFFE: Yeah, but first things first, Garron.
GARRON: Yes, exactly. You know how attached I am to that piece of jethrik.

(Garron takes the bag.)

GARRON: Ah, do I hear the chink of the Graff's gold?
UNSTOFFE: Money isn't everything, Garron.
GARRON: Well, who wants everything? Ha, I'll settle for ninety percent.

[Hall of the Dead]

(The Seeker is casting the bones.)

SEEKER: I see him. The one you seek is here.
GRAFF: Then lead us to him.
SEEKER: We shall not reach him. I see death standing between us.
SHOLAKH: You're wrong, witch. Death is standing right behind you.
SEEKER: I will lead him if that be your wish, but all but one of us is doomed to die. Thus has it been written.

[Caves]

GARRON: Our problem now, my boy, is to find a way back!
UNSTOFFE: If we move from here, Binro will never find us again.
GARRON: Do you think he'll come back for you?
UNSTOFFE: Of course he will. After he's searched the city for you, and that'll probably take him hours.
GARRON: Well, let's hope the Graff doesn't get here first.
UNSTOFFE: There's not much chance of that. These caves stretch for miles.
GARRON: I don't know. He's press-ganged some native witch.
UNSTOFFE: What, the Seeker?
GARRON: You know about her?
UNSTOFFE: Yeah, Binro told me about her. Hey, what about this Doctor and the girl? Any chance of them finding us?
GARRON: Oh, I sincerely hope not.
UNSTOFFE: Why not? I thought they'd helped you escape.
GARRON: We were temporarily allies in adversity.
UNSTOFFE: Where are they now?
GARRON: The girl's wandering about somewhere. The Doctor said he'd go back and keep an eye on the Graff.
UNSTOFFE: Just a minute, Garron. Garron, wandering about down here?
GARRON: Well, I imagine so. Unless she happens to have another of these little gadgets.

(Unstoffe takes the tracer from Garron.)

UNSTOFFE: You stole it from her. That's where you got it from.
GARRON: Well, I relieved her of it. It seemed such a responsibility for a young girl.

(Garron takes it back.)

UNSTOFFE: You cabberly old hypocrite. How could you?
GARRON: Well, I admit I had a great trouble with me conscience. Fortunately, I won.

[Catacombs]

(The Seeker is dowsing her path with a pair of leg bones.)

SEEKER: Deeper, fibula and tibia. Lead us deeper, deeper yet.
SHOLAKH: Highness?
GRAFF: By those rocks over there. Something moved.
SHOLAKH: You two. Bring him here.

(Two bodyguards go forward and return with the old heretic.)

GRAFF: What are you doing here?
BINRO: Looking for fossils.
GRAFF: Fossils? Grave robbing, more like.
BINRO: I sell them sometimes. You see, I cannot work. I am too old.
SHOLAKH: What's in your hand?

(Sholakh takes Unstoffe's wrist communicator from Binro.)

SHOLAKH: A strange fossil, Highness. All right, where'd you get this from?
BINRO: Found it.
SHOLAKH: Come on, the truth, old one, or we'll blast your head off.
GRAFF: Not yet. Bring him.
SEEKER: Deeper, deeper, and even deeper.

(As the last bodyguard passes, we see the end of a striped scarf trailing from under his cloak.)

[Hall of the Dead]

(The Shrieves wheel in a small but perfectly formed cannon and aim it at the entrance to the Catacombs.)

CAPTAIN: That'll do. Now, pack it with shot. They say none ever returns from the deep Catacombs, and if any of that lot do, they won't get very far.

[Cave]

SEEKER: The bones, the bones, the bones, the bones are alive! The one you seek is here!
BINRO: This is where, Highness. I'll show you.
SHOLAKH: Stay!
BINRO: Unstoffe! Unstoffe!
GRAFF: Kill him!
GARRON: You fool! You fool!

(Binro is shot in the back and falls into Unstoffe's arms.)

BINRO: Right. I was right, Unstoffe?
UNSTOFFE: Yes.

(Binro dies.)

GARRON: Was that Binro? Charming fellow, the little I saw of him.
UNSTOFFE: They're murderers. They're murderers!
GARRON: Now don't be a fool. Don't be a fool, Unstoffe!
UNSTOFFE: Murderers!
GARRON: Unstoffe, don't be

(Unstoffe gets shot in the shoulder as he rushes the Graff. He sinks to his knees. Garron runs to him.)

GARRON: Unstoffe! Unstoffe!

(The cave roof begins to fall in.)

SHOLAKH: Over here! Hurry!
UNSTOFFE: Binro said the roof wasn't safe.
GRAFF: Guards, the jethrik!
UNSTOFFE: Here, take it.

(Unstoffe throws the bag towards the Graff.)

GARRON: No, Unstoffe.

(Sholakh picks the bag up.)

SHOLAKH: It's here, Highness, and the gold.
GRAFF: Good. When these criminals have been executed, we shall almost have settled our score here. Now, how did you escape, Garron?
GARRON: Ingenuity, Highness. Sheer ingenuity.
GRAFF: And where are the others, your two accomplices?
GARRON: Not accomplices, Highness. You mean the Security agents.
GRAFF: Security agents?
GARRON: Yeah, that's the irony of it. They just arrested us for landing on a Class three planet and didn't even know of your presence until you made it felt.
GRAFF: You lie!
GARRON: Why should I bother? No, Graff, their report will be with the Alliance shortly, and you'll no longer be a nobleman of the Cyrrhenic Empire, and an honoured war veteran. You'll just be a common criminal like us!
GRAFF: Stand them against that wall!

(The bodyguards push Garron and Unstoffe against the rock while the Doctor blows his dog whistle.)

SHOLAKH: Firing squad, fall in!
GARRON: Unstoffe, my son.
UNSTOFFE: What?
GARRON: I was going to make a touching speech, but my throat is too dry.

(A shrivenzale enters the cave.)

SHOLAKH: Stand fast. Attack the beast!

[Tunnel]

(Weapons fire can be heard.)

ROMANA: Can you locate it, K9?
K9: Position determined, mistress. This way.
ROMANA: There's a good computer.

[Hall of the Dead]

SHRIEVE: I can hear firing.
CAPTAIN: Get back, then. Take cover. I'll close the Catacombs forever.

(The Captain uses a candle to light the cannon's fuse. KaBOOM!)

[Caves]

(It causes rockfalls even here.)

SHOLAKH: Back, Highness, back.

(The roof falls in on the bodyguards as the Seeker screams.)

SHOLAKH: No. No, Highness, leave me. I'm done.
GRAFF: Not you, Sholakh. Never.
SHOLAKH: My guts are flattened.
GRAFF: Look, I'll get you out. You'll be all right.
SHOLAKH: The jethrik, Highness. Take the jethrik.
GRAFF: Here, you, help me with my general.
SEEKER: Too late. He is dead.
GRAFF: Leave us!

(The Seeker and a bodyguard leave. The Graff closes Sholakh's eyes.)

GRAFF: I'll avenge you, Sholakh. I'll bombard this stinking planet till it's nothing but a smoking hole in space!

(The Graff kisses Sholakh's eyelids, takes the jethrik, a weapon and the gold, and leaves. There are still two warm bodies here behind a wall of rock.)

UNSTOFFE: Come on, now, Garron.
GARRON: Oh, I'm dead already.
UNSTOFFE: Get up.
GARRON: Oops. Oh, such lousy shots. They got me in the foot.
UNSTOFFE: You're not shot. The roof just fell in.
GARRON: So we're buried alive. Oh, Unstoffe, I don't like the options we're getting.
UNSTOFFE: Shush. Listen.

(On the other side of the rockfall.)

ROMANA: Listen, K9. There's somebody behind there. Hello, can you hear me?

(The sound of rock hitting rock.)

ROMANA: There is someone. Help me move this rock, K9. Oh. Oh, it's no good. It won't budge. Can you do anything to help, K9?
K9: Affirmative. Please stand clear, mistress.

(K9 lasers the rocks to atoms without any more falling into their place.)

GARRON: Oh, my dear. Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere! You, er, dropped this.

(Garron gives Romana the tracer.)

ROMANA: Into your hand, yes. Let's go, shall we?

[Catacombs]

(The Graff joins the Seeker and his 'bodyguard'.)

GRAFF: Soldier, I'm going to blow up these caves behind us.
SEEKER: What are you doing, alien? The Ice Gods
GRAFF: Silence! These caves will not shelter your scum from my missiles. Now, you made a prophecy, old woman. What was it?
SEEKER: All but one doomed to die. Thus written.
GRAFF: Then die now.

(The Graff kills the Seeker.)

GRAFF: No, not you soldier. I have a more honourable purpose for you. So you're the last of my guards, eh? The last of my Levithian Invincibles. All the rest are dead now, even Sholakh. Were you with me on Skarrn, soldier?
DOCTOR: No, sir.
GRAFF: So many battles, Skarrn, the Freytus labyrinth, Crestus Minor. Now there was a fight! I remember Sholakh planting my standard in the very heart of the Crestan general! So many battles, so many years, but over now. All but one of us doomed to die, soldier. Thus has it been written.

(The Graff produces a small box, and sets it beeping. He gives it to the Doctor.)

GRAFF: There is no greater honour, soldier, then to surrender your life in the service of the Graff Vynda-K.

(The Graff embraces his soldier as if to kiss him on both cheeks, then walks up the Catacombs with the sounds of past battles ringing in his head.)

GRAFF: All but one of us! Sholakh. Sholakh? Sholakh! To me! To me! Charge! Onwards! Onwards! Push their attack back! Onwards! Onwards!

(The Graff goes around a corner, still calling to dead soldiers.)

DOCTOR: Three, two, one.

(Bang! Scream! The Doctor bends forward so his helmet falls off then lets his breath out and holds up the jethrik.)

[Castle entrance]

(The Doctor and Romana return to the TARDIS.)

DOCTOR: Four o'clock and all's well. Goodbye, Garron!
GARRON: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes?
GARRON: Doctor, I still don't understand.
DOCTOR: What don't you understand, Garron? Go on, ask me something. What is it don't you understand? Who came first, the chicken or the egg? Go on, ask me something. Ask me something.
GARRON: How did you manage to switch the jethrik for the thermite pack without the Graff noticing?
DOCTOR: Garron, I would've thought you'd have known that. Sleight of hands.
GARRON: Oh.
DOCTOR: I was trained by Maskelyne.
ROMANA: Quite clever, really.
DOCTOR: I do dislike faint praise. It was astoundingly clever, wasn't it Garron?
GARRON: Indeed it was, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes.
GARRON: Oh, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes?
GARRON: A favour to beg. Do you think I might just handle the jethrik once more? Please? For old time's sake, you know?
DOCTOR: All right.
GARRON: Oh, it's lovely, isn't it? I'm so reluctant to part with it.

(Garron strokes the stone like a pet and turns his back on the Doctor, putting it in his pocket before turning back.)

GARRON: Oh, dear me. Well, there you are, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Thank you very much. Goodbye, Garron.

(The Doctor hugs Garron.)

GARRON: Oh, goodbye, Doctor.
DOCTOR: What's your name?
UNSTOFFE: Unstoffe.
DOCTOR: Goodbye, Unstoffe.
UNSTOFFE: Goodbye, Doctor.

(The Doctor goes into the TARDIS.)

K9: Mistress.
ROMANA: Come along, K9. Goodbye.
GARRON + UNSTOFFE: Goodbye.

(K9 and Romana enter the TARDIS and close the door.)

UNSTOFFE: Well, that's it, Garron. We'll have to go straight now.
GARRON: Oh come, my boy, don't be downhearted. We haven't done too badly.
UNSTOFFE: Haven't done too badly? We've lost the jethrik, and we've come out of this without a penny.
GARRON: Oh, don't forget that there's the Graff's ship stuffed with eighteen years of loot.
UNSTOFFE: You crafty old

(The TARDIS dematerialises.)

UNSTOFFE: That's a queer takeoff.
GARRON: Well, thank goodness he's gone. I was afraid he'd notice.
UNSTOFFE: Notice? What?
GARRON: We haven't lost the jethrik. I switched it for a piece of ordinary stone. Yeah, I did. Look!

(Garron takes the stone from his pocket.)

GARRON: He switched it back again. Oh, Unstoffe, is there nobody you can trust these days?

[TARDIS]

(Romana carefully places the jethrik on a white table. The Doctor holds the tracer near it.)

DOCTOR: Would you like to do it? Here.
ROMANA: Well, perhaps you'd better do it, Doctor.
DOCTOR: All right. No, you do it. Go on, you do it. I'll just stand here and watch.
ROMANA: Right.

(Romana gently touches the jethrik with the tracer. It hums then turns into an irregular section of hard perspex. Romana breathes again.)

DOCTOR: The first segment. Simple, wasn't it. Only five more to go.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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