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Classic Who S10 • Serial 2 · (4 episodes)

Carnival of Monsters

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Transcript Beta

Episode One

[Space Port]

(A space ship descends vertically onto a pad. Two aliens in silver clothes meet on a walkway. They have silver-grey skin, and hair which runs round the back of the head and almost meets their bushy eyebrows, leaving the top of the head bald. )

KALIK: Well, the cargo shuttle has arrived at last.
ORUM: One must prepare oneself to encounter the aliens.
KALIK: Reluctantly, one agrees.

(Down below, boxes are being disgorged from a baggage area and falling onto the floor. A different type of alien with a very grey skin and no hair at all gestures and drags others of his kind to get the boxes onto a nearby conveyor belt. Then two people in space suits fall out of the hatch. One is a man with curly hair and spectacles, the other a woman with bright earrings.)

VORG: Oh, phew. Oh dear.
SHIRNA: Top of the bill, he says. Received like Princes, he says.
VORG: Now, now, Shirna, don't be so. The scope! Come on. Come on, give me a hand.

(Shirna helps him with a large cylinder with a half-globe on the top.)

VORG: Careful now. Please be careful.

(Two of the baggage handlers push it away from the hatch.)

VORG: Now have a care with that, please? It cost a lot of credit bars.

(Vorg picks up his single large bag while Shirna collects lots of smaller red and blue ones.)

SHIRNA: Look out, here they come.

(Kalik and Orum enter. One of the baggage handlers grabs his head and runs out and up to an upper walkway.)

ORUM: No, no, no. Back! Back! Back!

(Orum holds back the other baggage handlers while Kalik takes an elegant device like a two pronged fork with a bar joining the tips of the prongs, and a red light bulb in the handle. He fires, and the handler falls from the walkway to the floor.)

ORUM: Very good. You have eradicated him.
KALIK: No, no, no. Merely rendered him unconscious.
ORUM: But he will be disposed of?
KALIK: Naturally. But first his mental and nervous systems will be subjected to analysis.
ORUM: Yes, of course. Now, one must deal with the aliens.

[Cargo hold]

(The TARDIS materialises in the hold of a sea-going vessel which is neither alien nor modern.)

DOCTOR: Look, I tell you there's no need for a test, Jo. I've been here before and the air is perfectly
JO: Poo, it smells.
DOCTOR: Yeah, that's odd.
JO: Sort of farmy.
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, gaseous sulphides, low concentration. Nothing to worry about.

[Space Port]

(Shirna takes off her spacesuit to reveal her showgirl's outfit - a multicoloured low-cut halterneck cat suit with lots of bobbles on it. The baggage handlers gather. Vorg is also brightly dressed. His sequined coat has very large coloured plastic circles on the lapels.)

SHIRNA: Hey, Vorg.
VORG: Well, well, well. We're getting a crowd. Better start the pitch.
SHIRNA: Here?
VORG: There's no point in wasting any time. Roll up, roll up and see the monster show!

(Vorg puts on a transparent bowler hat. Shirna taps an alien tambourine.)

VORG: Roll up and see the monster show! A carnival of monsters, all living in their natural habitat, wild in this little box of mine. A miracle of intragalactic technology! Roll up! Roll up! Roll

(Kalik and Orum enter, and the baggage handlers shuffle away quickly.)

KALIK: So those are Lurmans.
ORUM: The male is called Vorg, it seems. The female, Shirna.
KALIK: Ridiculous names. At least their physiology is familiar. One was afraid they might have four heads.
ORUM: No doubt that is why President Zarb decreed that Lurmans should be our first alien visitors.
KALIK: No good can come from fraternising with these inferior races.
ORUM: Nevertheless, Commissioner Kalik, one has one's duty to perform, no matter how unpleasant.
KALIK: Hmm. One thinks one will wait for Plectrac. He is chairman of this tribunal. Let him do his duty.

(A red light flashes on the Scope.)

SHIRNA: Vorg, look.
VORG: Huh? Oh, that's nothing.

(He tries hitting the Scope.)

VORG: I'm sure it's nothing.
SHIRNA: It indicates a systems defect, doesn't it?
VORG: It's just a loose connection somewhere. Nothing of any importance.
SHIRNA: A systems defect.
VORG: Of all the times to go wrong!

[Cargo hold]

DOCTOR: Well, I can assure you that the last time I was here, the air was like wine.
JO: Are you certain we are here?
DOCTOR: Where?
JO: Well, where you think we are. Are you sure you can steer that TARDIS properly?
DOCTOR: Jo, I don't steer the TARDIS, I programme it, and according to programme, this is Metebelis Three, the famous blue planet of the Acteon group.
JO: Shush. Listen!

(The ship's engine's are rumbling.)

DOCTOR: That's extraordinary. We appear to be in some kind of a machine.
JO: Yes, and it's moving. I can feel it.
DOCTOR: Yes, you're right. Come on.
JO: Where are you going?
DOCTOR: Well, to find out where we are, of course.
JO: I thought you knew?
DOCTOR: Yes, well, we may have slightly overshot the blue planet, but we must be on one of planets in the group. We'll soon see.

(Something else makes a noise in the hold.)

JO: Doctor!
DOCTOR: What is it?
JO: There's something alive over there.
DOCTOR: Well, let's take a look, shall we?

(They go over to a crate.)

JO: Chickens!
DOCTOR: Greetings!
DOCTOR: All right, all right, all right, all right. We're friends.
JO: Try clucking.
DOCTOR: Jo, when you've travelled as much as I have, you'll learn never to judge by appearances. These creatures may look like chickens, but for all we know, they're the intelligent life form on this planet.
JO: They not only look like chickens, they are chickens. And what about this?

(The box underneath the chickens has a place name stenciled across it.)

DOCTOR: Singapore.
JO: The Acteon galaxy, you said, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Oh, Jo, do come on.
JO: Bye.

(Outside the hold door is a ladder to the main deck.)

[Main deck]

(A sailor walks past the doors to the lower decks. The Doctor and Jo open one slightly and watch him walk away.)

JO: Hey
DOCTOR: Shush.
JO: It's just an ordinary ship.
DOCTOR: Appearances can be very deceiving, Jo. There's something wrong here.
JO: We're still on Earth, aren't we.
DOCTOR: No, that's impossible.
JO: Don't you ever admit that you're wrong?
DOCTOR: No. That's impossible too. Come on, but keep low.

(They creep past the main cargo hatches, then hide as an Indian cook pours a bucket of slops over the side.)

DOCTOR: Okay.

(They go up a ladder to the rear superstructure where any passengers and crew would live.)

DALY [OC]: Splendid dinner. Absolutely topping.

(The Doctor and Jo duck into an open cabin as a man in a white suit walks along the gangway with a young woman in 1920s dress, followed by an officer in tropical whites.)

DALY: There's nothing like a good curry.

[Saloon cabin]

(The Doctor and Jo hide behind a large settee as the dinner party enter.)

DALY: You say the cook's a Madrasi, Andrews?
ANDREWS: I believe so, sir.

(Everyone say Hi to Ian Marter.)

DALY: Oh. I find the Madrasis a bit idle myself. Won't have them on the plantation. Still, I must admit your fellow does know how to curry a chicken. Sundowner?

(Daly pours a drink.)

ANDREWS: Not for me, sir.
DALY: Claire?
CLAIRE: No thank you, Daddy. John and I thought we'd take a turn around the deck.
ANDREWS: Would you care to join us, sir? It's a glorious evening.
DALY: No, no, no, no. You two run along. I'm going to do a spot of reading. Determined to finish this book before we reach Bombay.
CLAIRE: Well, we're due there tomorrow. How much have you got left?
DALY: Only another two chapters.
ANDREWS: Well, we'll see you later then, sir.
DALY: Yes.
ANDREWS: Twenty times round the deck is a mile, Claire. So, if we put our best feet forward

(Andrews and Claire leave. Daly settles with his book but soon yawns and falls asleep.)

CLAIRE [OC]: I love musical plays. I saw Lady Be Good four times. Don't you think that young American chap was marvellous? You know, Fred somebody. Fred Astaire.
ANDREWS [OC]: Personally, I think musicals are a lot of nonsense.

(The couple carry on with their next circuit of the deck. There is the faint sound of jazz music from somewhere. The Doctor and Jo come out of hiding.)

DOCTOR: (sotto) No, there's only one explanation.
JO: (sotto) What's that?
DOCTOR: (sotto) This isn't Earth. It just looks like it.
JO: (sotto) All right, Doctor, I'll convince you.
DALY: (mumble) chota peg (mumble)

(Jo takes a magazine from the table.)

JO: (sotto) There. Take a look at that.

(It is The Illustrated London News of Saturday, April 3, 1926.)

DOCTOR: (sotto) 1926?
JO: (sotto) Convinced?
DOCTOR: (sotto) No.
JO: (sotto) Oh, Doctor, you're so stubborn. And you ought to have an L plate for that police box of yours. You don't even know where you're going in it.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Come on, Jo.
JO: (sotto) Where to?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Back to the TARDIS.
JO: (sotto) What for?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Well, I don't know what's happening here, but I don't like it. Why do you want to stay?
JO: (sotto) I just want you to admit the truth, that's all. Well, instead of swanning around some distant galaxy, we've slipped back about forty years in time and we're on a little cargo boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

(Roar outside. Claire screams. Jo and the Doctor duck back into hiding.)

DALY: What? What? What? What? What?

(Claire and Andrews rush in.)

CLAIRE: Daddy, there's something terrible out there in the sea!
DALY: What's going on?
ANDREWS: Some kind of monster!

(Through the open doorway we see a large head with equally large teeth rear up level with it. The crew sound as if they are panicking.)

DALY: What the deuce is it?
DOCTOR: That's a plesiosaurus!
JO: What?
DOCTOR: It's incredible! If this really is 1926, the plesiosaurus has been extinct for a hundred and thirty million years!

(With a final roar, the dinosaur goes back under the waves.)

DALY: It's gone back in the sea.
ANDREWS: I'd better get a rifle, Major. It might attack again. Here, sir, if you'll just look after Claire a moment.
DALY: Yes, yes, yes, of course. I say, what a monstrous beast.
CLAIRE: It was awful, horrible!
DALY: There, there, there, my child. You'd better come and sit down. I've never seen anything like it in me life. I wonder if it'll come back?
CLAIRE: Oh, no!
DALY: Hmm? Oh, you look as if you need a peg. Might get a shot at the beast next time.

(Daly goes to the drinks tray. The Doctor sees that their coast is clear.)

DOCTOR: (silent) Come on.
DALY: What a head, eh? Gad, I'd love to have that on the club wall, what?

(Claire spots the Doctor and Jo, and squeals.)

DALY: Hello?
DOCTOR: Hello. Topping day, what?
DALY: Just a minute. You two passengers?
DOCTOR: Er, yes, but only temporarily.
DALY: What?
JO: Oh, he means only to Bombay.
DALY: But I thought my daughter and I were the only passengers.
CLAIRE: Where did you come aboard?
JO: Port Said.
CLAIRE: I don't understand. Why haven't we met before?
JO: Ah, well you see, my uncle hasn't been terribly well, so
DALY: Ah, poor traveller, eh? Not used to it, I suppose.
DOCTOR: On that contrary, sir, I
DALY: Well, never mind. We've now got a four for bridge, what?
DOCTOR: Yes.
DALY: Or would you prefer Mah Jong?
DOCTOR: Yes.

(Andrews enters.)

ANDREWS: Not a sign of the beast, Major. Who are these people?
DALY: Well, don't you know, Andrews?
CLAIRE: They said they joined the ship at Port Said.
ANDREWS: Stowaways, eh?
DALY: Stowaways!
ANDREWS: Where have you been hiding?
JO: You tell them, uncle.

[Space Port]

(We meet another of the native fussy aliens, this one in a floor length coat.)

PLETRAC: Another functionary has dared to ascend to the higher level.
KALIK: One witnessed the event.
ORUM: One cannot understand why they do it.
KALIK: But then one is not a functionary.
PLETRAC: It is a growing problem. As members of the official species, we must all share President Zarb's concern.
ORUM: They've no sense of responsibility. Give them a hygiene chamber and they store fossil fuel in it.

[Saloon cabin]

DALY: Look, let's all have a drink and discuss this thing like civilised people, what?
DOCTOR: Yes, that's an excellent idea, Major. I'll have a large scotch.
ANDREWS: Major Daly, these people are stowaways, quite possibly even criminals, and either unable or unwilling to give a satisfactory account of themselves.
DALY: Hang it all, Andrews. The fellow is a sahib, you know.
ANDREWS: This is not a social occasion, Major.
DALY: Oh, all right. Have it your own way. Though we can't extend back hospitality to a couple of poor wretched people in the
ANDREWS: Well, actually, sir, I should like to extend to them the hospitality of your cabin.
DALY: Eh? What?
ANDREWS: Until the Captain is free to see them.
DALY: Yes, very well. You may certainly have my cabin.
ANDREWS: Thank you, sir. In that case, you two follow me. (to a sailor) You bring up the rear.
SAILOR: Yes, sir.
DOCTOR: I told you we should have left I wanted to.

(Jo and the Doctor are led through an internal door down into the crew quarters part of the ship.)

[Below decks]

(The Doctor spots something on the floor.)

DOCTOR: Here, Jo. Look at this.
ANDREWS: Come on, in here.
DOCTOR: Any more of these about on the ship, or is this the only one?
ANDREWS: What?
DOCTOR: These. Is this the only one?

(It is a hexagonal steel plate about an inch high, apparently riveted to the floor and easy to trip over. )

ANDREWS: There's nothing there.
JO: Do you mean you can't see it?
ANDREWS: Get into this cabin!

(Jo enters the cabin.)

ANDREWS: And you.

[Daly's cabin]

(Jo sits on the end of the bed.)

ANDREWS: I have a crew of Lascars who try to make a fool of me on every trip. They've never managed it yet, and neither will you.
DOCTOR: Don't underestimate us, sir.

(There is a plan of the ship in a frame on the wall.)

DOCTOR: Tell me, is this ship the SS Bernice?
ANDREWS: You trying to pretend you didn't even know that?
DOCTOR: I didn't, but I do now. It makes everything much clearer. Thank you.
ANDREWS: All right. Now I'm going to lock you in here until the Captain is ready to see you, and that might not be for a long time. He's a busy man.

(Andrews leaves.)

JO: All right, Doctor. What's clear?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
JO: You said everything seemed much clearer now.
DOCTOR: Yes, relatively speaking. An extinct monster, that plate out there on the deck. Yes, this is all most interesting.
JO: Do you really believe Andrews couldn't see it?
DOCTOR: What?
JO: Well, the plate in the floor.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, it's been blocked from his consciousness. Yes. If I'm right, it would have to be. It's certainly no part of the fabric of this ship.
JO: I'd say it was very much a part of the ship. A great lump of
DOCTOR: A great lump of what? It's not steel, copper or iron. That metal is unknown on Earth, Jo.
JO: But we are on Earth. We must be. I mean, this ship, the people, the chickens. Oh, come on, Doctor, you're not going to tell me that Major Daly is an alien from another planet, are you?
DOCTOR: No.
JO: Well then?
DOCTOR: Oh, look. Daly's been keeping track of the date.

(Everything up to Tuesday 4th June are crossed off.)

DOCTOR: I suppose the name of this ship means nothing to you, Jo?
JO: No. Should it?
DOCTOR: Well, in its time, the SS Bernice was as famous a sea mystery as the Marie Celeste.
JO: Why? What happened?
DOCTOR: Nobody really knows. A freak tidal wave was the popular explanation, although the Indian Ocean was as flat as a millpond on that night.
JO: You mean she sank?
DOCTOR: No, she vanished, Jo. Two days out from Bombay on June the 4th, 1926, the SS Bernice just disappeared off the face of the Earth.
JO: Disappeared on June the, June the 4th? But according to that calendar, that's today.
DOCTOR: Yes, intriguing, isn't it?
JO: Shall I tell you something else intriguing?
DOCTOR: Mmm hmm.
JO: When we came in here, that clock said twenty five to eight.
DOCTOR: Well?
JO: Well, now look at it.

(The clock says twenty to seven.)

DOCTOR: Oh, you've noticed that, have you? Well done. Shall I tell you something that you may not have noticed? It's broad daylight outside.
JO: So?
DOCTOR: If this really is after dinner, and we are in the Indian Ocean, it should be pitch dark.
JO: I don't get it.

(The Doctor checks the door lock.)

JO: Sonic screwdriver?
DOCTOR: No, that only works on electronic locks, Jo. We need something far more primitive.
JO: Skeleton keys.
DOCTOR: Oh, they'd do fine if only we had any.
JO: Allow me, Doctor.

[Space Port]

PLETRAC: From your data discs, it appear that you travel from planet to planet performing some kind of ritual with this machine? For what purpose?
SHIRNA: We are entertainers.
PLETRAC: Entertainers? Explain the term.
SHIRNA: We put on a show. You understand?

(Shirna does a little tap dance.)

PLETRAC: No.
VORG: Our purpose is to amuse, simply to amuse. Nothing serious, nothing political.

(The three locals move away to confer.)

KALIK: Amusement is prohibited. It's purposeless.
PLETRAC: Zarb is considering lifting that restriction. The latest thinking is that the latest outbreak of violence among the functionaries is caused through lack of amusement.
KALIK: Oh, more anti-productive legislation.
ORUM: Where will it end?
KALIK: One can see where it will end, Orum. Ultimately, the functionaries will take over.
ORUM: Take over?
PLETRAC: It is not the functionaries who dream of power, Kalik.
KALIK: Huh? One simply speaks one's thoughts.
PLETRAC: Your thoughts are as clear as your ambitions.
KALIK: How dare
ORUM: Please! One is simply here to decide whether to grant these Lurmans an entrance visa.
KALIK: Since their presence here is clearly subversive, one moves that their application be rejected.
PLETRAC: Opposed.
ORUM: Supported.
PLETRAC: Oh, very well.

(They return to Vorg and Shirna.)

PLETRAC: Your application for a visa has been rejected. You will be allotted space on the next outbound cargo thruster.
VORG: But your worship, please, I beg you. We spent our last credit bar on the journey here.
KALIK: That was unwise.
VORG: Your worship, please. I have a document here micrographed by the great Zarb himself. If you will just do me the honour of considering it.
PLETRAC: President Zarb?

(Pletrac takes the cassette and leaves.)

SHIRNA: Wasn't the Great Zarb that Walarian wrestler we met at the instellar exhibition?
VORG: Shush! Shut up!
SHIRNA: You've got a nerve, Vorg, passing that off.

[Below decks]

(The Doctor and Jo are looking at the strange plate in the floor.)

DOCTOR: It slides open.
JO: How does it work?
DOCTOR: Anti-magnetic cohesion, I should think.
JO: Never heard of it.
DOCTOR: No, you wouldn't have done, Jo. You were born about a thousand years too early for that.
JO: Oh, I do love being with you, Doctor. You make me feel so young. Can you open it?
DOCTOR: Without a magnetic core extractor, no.
JO: Oh, well. That's that, then, isn't it.
DOCTOR: On the contrary. I happen to have got one in the TARDIS.
JO: Oh, I knew you wouldn't travel anywhere without one. But there's one tiny little problem.
DOCTOR: Yes, I know, getting to the TARDIS.
JO: Right. It means we've got to go through the saloon.
DOCTOR: They can only lock us up again, can't they.
JO: True.
DOCTOR: Come on.

[Saloon cabin]

DALY: You say the cook's a Madrasi, Andrews?
ANDREWS: I believe so, sir.
DALY: Hmm. I find the Madrasis a bit idle myself. Won't have them on the plantation. Still, I must admit your fellow knows how to curry a chicken. Sundowner?
ANDREWS: Er, not for me, sir.
DALY: Claire?
CLAIRE: No, thank you, Daddy. John and I thought we'd take a turn around the deck.
ANDREWS: Would you care to join us, sir? It's a glorious evening.

[Outside the saloon]

DALY [OC]: No, no, no, no, no. You two run along. I'm going to do a spot of reading. Determined to finish this book before we reach Bombay.
CLAIRE [OC]: Well, we're due there tomorrow. How much have you got left?
DALY [OC]: Only another two chapters.
ANDREWS [OC]: Well, we'll see you later then, sir.
DALY [OC]: Right.
ANDREWS [OC]: Twenty times round the deck is a mile, Claire. So, if we put our best feet forward
JO: (sotto) Doctor, they're saying exactly the same things as before.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Yes, I know.
JO: (sotto) But if he
DOCTOR: (sotto) Shush.

[Saloon cabin]

(Daly falls asleep.)

CLAIRE [OC]: No, really, I love musical plays. I saw Lady be good four times. And don't you think that young American chap was marvellous? You know, Fred somebody? Fred Astaire.

[Outside the saloon]

ANDREWS [OC]: Personally, I think
DOCTOR: (silent) Come on.

[Saloon cabin]

JO: (sotto) Come on, Doctor. Let's get out of here.
DOCTOR: (sotto) In a minute, Jo. If my theory's right, we should be getting confirmation any minute now.
JO: (sotto) Theory? What theory?
DOCTOR: (sotto) About what's happening to this ship.
JO: (sotto) What is happening? I mean, it's like a gramophone record. A stuck gramophone record.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Yes, well, naturally. You see, they've all been programmed to repeat a simple behaviour pattern.
JO: (sotto) And that monster, the plesiosaurus, that was programmed too?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Very probably.
JO: (sotto) But that was from a different time. They weren't any plesiosaurus's in 1926.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Yes, exactly. Historically speaking, this collection is a bit of a jumble, I must admit.
JO: (sotto) Do you mean that this ship is part of a collection? But it all seems so ordinary.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Jo, have you ever seen any small boys collecting sea creatures and putting them into a rock pool?
JO: Hmm.
DOCTOR: (sotto) And then after a minute all the sea creatures settle down and behave quite normally, quite naturally. It's only the small boys looking down from above that see the change in the environment.
JO: (sotto) Oh, yes, but that's different. Human beings are slightly more intelligent than whelks.
DOCTOR: (sotto) Yes, and they were collected by a slightly more sophisticated means than a bucket of water. But everything is relative, Jo.
JO: I'm sorry, Doctor, I just can't take it in.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, don't worry about it. Right, stand by for blasting.
JO: Wait a minute, do you mean
DOCTOR: Shush. Right. Go and hide. (They duck down behind the settee. The Doctor checks the exact time that the monster roars, Claire screams and Daly wakes up.)
DALY: What? What? What?
CLAIRE: Oh, Daddy, there's something dreadful out there!
DALY: What's going on?
ANDREWS: Some kind of monster, sir!

(The plesiosaurus appears.)

DALY: What the deuce is it?

(The plesiosaurus returns to the deep.)

DALY: It's gone back in the sea!
ANDREWS: I'd better get a rifle, Major. It might attack again. Here, Major, if you'll just look after Claire a moment?
DALY: Oh. Yes, yes, of course. I say, what a monstrous beast!
CLAIRE: Yes, it was awful, horrible!
DALY: There, there, there, child. You'd better come and sit down. I've never seen anything like it in me life! I wonder if it'll come back?
CLAIRE: Oh no!
DALY: Oh, oh, you look as if you need a peg. Might get a shot at the beast next time.

(This time the Doctor and Jo make it out onto the main deck unnoticed.)

DALY: What a head, eh? By gad, I'd love to have that on the club wall, what?

[Cargo hold]

DOCTOR: Hang on a minute, Jo. I'll get the magnetic core extractor.

(The Doctor goes into the TARDIS.)

JO: Doctor, do we have to stay here? Can't we just leave?
DOCTOR [OC]: Where's your scientific curiosity, Jo? Don't you want to know what's going on?
JO: Not much, no. Doctor!
DOCTOR [OC]: What is it now?
JO: Doctor!

(The Doctor comes out of the TARDIS.)

DOCTOR: What is it, Jo?
JO: Look!

(A gigantic hand reaches down through the deck and picks up the TARDIS.)

Episode Two

[Cargo hold]

DOCTOR: Hey!
JO: Where's it gone?
DOCTOR: Up there.
JO: But there's no way through. Are you sure?
DOCTOR: Yes, the whole deckhead swings open.
JO: But it's solid steel. It must weigh tons and tons.
DOCTOR: Yes, and probably held in place by two tiny little wingnuts.
JO: Tiny?
DOCTOR: Relatively speaking. You saw the size of that hand.
JO: But there's only deck above here.
DOCTOR: That's what it looks like.
JO: But we've been up there.
DOCTOR: I told you this was no ordinary ship, Jo.
JO: Where are you going?
DOCTOR: To find the TARDIS, and that means finding a way off this ship.

[Space Port]

(Vorg has his hand inside the Scope.)

SHIRNA: Vorg, they're coming over.
VORG: Good. I think I've found the trouble anyway. There you are. A bit of bric-a-brac lodged inside circuit three.

(A two inch long TARDIS.)

VORG: I'd better put it back. Might spoil the illusion. Never let the customer see too much.

[Main deck]

(The Doctor and Jo sneak along the deck. Claire and Andrews are still taking their twenty laps.)

CLAIRE [OC]: But I loved Choo Chin Chow. Daddy took me when I was a little girl.

(The Doctor and Jo hide from the couple standing on the upper deck.)

ANDREWS: Choo Chin Chow! I tell you, the whole thing's absolute rubbish.
CLAIRE: Oh, it wasn't. How can you say that?
ANDREWS: Well, I've sailed into Shanghai fifty times, my girl. I know what Johnny Chinaman's like.
CLAIRE: Oh, John, you've seen so much of the world. It makes me seem so, so unsophisticated.
JO: Suppose we're due for the monster bit any minute now.
DOCTOR: Yes, very probably.
ANDREWS [OC]: You're different.
CLAIRE [OC]: I wouldn't want you to think I'm just a silly flapper.

[Space Port]

KALIK: In what way does this machine amuse?
VORG: Your worship, allow me to demonstrate. If you will watch the glo-sphere.

(Claire and Andrews appear on the round screen.)

ORUM: What is this?
VORG: These creatures are Tellurians, a species discovered in a distant galaxy. Scientists have been amazed at the remarkable similarity between these little chaps and our own dominant lifeform.
ORUM: The resemblance is unpleasant.
VORG: These are the only Tellurians in captivity. Some scientists think that their discovery refutes Valdek's theory that life in the universe is infinitely variable. An even more interesting though less amusing form of life is the Ogron.

(The picture changes.)

VORG: They are of limited intelligence and are used as servants by some race called, er, Daleks, I believe. We will shortly be seeing the prize of my collection. The Drashigs!
KALIK: Drashigs?
VORG: They are, without doubt, the most evil, the most vicious and undoubtedly the most frightening form of life in the whole of the universe!
SHIRNA: Oh look, there's one.

(Something with lots of eyes on stalks sinks into a mist.)

KALIK: Amazing.
VORG: The Drashigs have no intelligence centre, unfortunately, so I cannot control their behaviour.
ORUM: But these pictures, they are recorded, surely?
VORG: Oh no, your worship. The Scope is good, old-fashioned live entertainment. The picture on the glo-sphere is an actual projection of what is now taking place deep down inside.
KALIK: Do you mean that all these creatures are living in there?
VORG: Within their own miniaturised environments, of course. I'll switch back to circuit three.

[Main deck]

(Where the plesiosaurus is doing its thing. Claire screams.)

ANDREWS: Great heavens!
JO: Just like goldfish in a bowl, aren't they, going round and round forever. Isn't there anything we can do for them?
DOCTOR: No, not while we're inside this thing. We've got to get out of here. Come on.

[Saloon cabin]

DALY: What a head, eh? By gad, I'd love to have that on the club wall, what?

(The Doctor and Jo try to sneak through but are spotted before they can open the inner door.)

DALY: Oh, hello!
DOCTOR: Oh, hello. Topping day, what?
DALY: Absolutely splendid.
DOCTOR: Yes, ninety nine skidoo! Well, must press on. Pip pip, old chap.
DALY: Just a minute. You two passengers?
DOCTOR: You've asked us that question once before. Don't you remember?
DALY: Have I? I'm sorry to be uncivil and all that, but
DOCTOR: You see, Jo. No memory traces at all.
DALY: What's that? Do you know, you'll think I'm an awful idiot, but do you know
DOCTOR: You've forgotten our names.
DALY: What's that? Well, I never knew them. I've never bally well seen you in all me life before!

[Space Port]

VORG: Now, by simply adjusting the aggrometer, the peaceful Tellurians can be made to behave in an amusingly violent way. Watch.

[Saloon cabin]

(Andrews and an armed sailor have entered.)

ANDREWS: Right!
CLAIRE: What are you doing, John?
ANDREWS: I'm going to thhrash this fellow within an inch of his life!

(Jo takes the Doctor's jacket.)

ANDREWS: Still sticking to that stupid story?
DOCTOR: I'm afraid so, old chap.
ANDREWS: You'll regret it, sir. I think I ought to warn you, I used to box for my school.
DOCTOR: And I think I ought to warn you that I took lessons from John L Sullivan himself.
DALY: By Jiminy, the old fellow's got some pluck.
DOCTOR: Queensbury rules?
ANDREWS: Naturally.

(The Doctor jabs at Andrews but gets a punch to the stomach in return. He hits Andrews below the heart, making him stagger, gasp and fall.)

CLAIRE: John!
DOCTOR: Good afternoon.

(Jo and the Doctor run back out onto the deck.)

ANDREWS: Cover the aft companionway. Quick! Right, come on.

[Main deck]

ANDREWS: Stop or I'll fire!

(Jo and the Doctor round a corner just in time. They try to open another door and fail so they climb a ladder to the upper deck. Andrews tries another shot.)

JO: Oh, how many times round the deck is a mile?
DOCTOR: Who's counting?

(And down the ladder on the other side.)

DOCTOR: Let's try that door.

(This one opens, but they are spotted going inside.)

ANDREWS: Now we've got them. Patel!

[Below decks]

DOCTOR: This way.

(They get to the metal plate in the flooring and the Doctor gets out the device he retrieved from the TARDIS. The Indian sailors are all armed and shouting at each other as they search. The Doctor closes a bulkhead to stop a bullet.)

JO: How does this thing work?
DOCTOR: Hold it flat. Run it along the edge of the plate.
JO: Right.
DOCTOR: That's the idea.
ANDREWS: All right, on your feet.
DALY: We've had enough of your nonsense.
ANDREWS: Right, bosun.

(The rifle bolts are pulled back.)

JO: Doctor.
DOCTOR: No, you can't!

[Space Port]

VORG: I can't it for too long or the specimens start damaging each other.

[Below decks]

(There is a high-pitched whine.)

DALY: Ah, dinner. Splendid! Coming?

(The sailors leave, and Andrews and Daly follow.)

DALY: Who the devil are those two?
ANDREWS: I say, I hope there's something decent tonight.
DALY: Yes!
ANDREWS: I'm feeling rather peckish.

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: Hey, Vorg. Do you know, I'd swear I'd never seen those two before?
VORG: What?
SHIRNA: Those two Tellurians. Have you seen them before?
VORG: Oh, really, Shirna. I mean, they all look so much alike.
SHIRNA: They're new, Vorg. They're strangers.

[Below decks]

(Jo carries on running the device round the edge of the plate.)

DOCTOR: And here. That should do it. Yes.

(They slide the plate aside to reveal a hexagonal hole in the floor.)

JO: Looks like some sort of shaft.
DOCTOR: Good. Down we go.

[Inside the Scope]

DOCTOR: Just look at this filter circuit, Jo. What a beautiful piece of work. Now then, this must be the output and that must be the input through there. Let's have a look.

(They bend down to make their way through the giant circuitry.)

DOCTOR: Yes, it is.
JO: What is it?
DOCTOR: What is it? My dear girl, this is a perfect example of an early pulse mechanism based on the principal of caesium decay. Oh, this is absolutely vintage stuff.
JO: But this can't be the ship's engine room?
DOCTOR: Well, of course it isn't. I told you. We're no longer in the ship.
JO: Well, where's the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: I've no idea. Probably outside this machine entirely. And just look at this, Jo. What a magnificent auxiliary capillary pump. Have you ever seen anything like it?

(They walk along a metal strip and clamber over another unit.)

DOCTOR: I've never been small enough to get inside one of these things before. It's fascinating! It's like walking around inside a wristwatch. It's wonderful. It really is magnificent.
JO: Well, can't we just find the way out?
DOCTOR: We could try following this circuit. It'll probably run for miles though.

[Space Port]

(Pletrac returns with the cassette Vorg gave him.)

PLETRAC: Out of the way. Not authentic!
VORG: What?
PLETRAC: A forgery.
VORG: A forgery? But your worship, I had no idea. And my assistant and I travelled all the way from Demos believing that we would be welcome on your noble planet.
PLETRAC: That is your misfortune.
KALIK: Pletrac, this machine, this Scope, contains many alien creatures. The Lurman has imported them without a licence.
PLETRAC: What?
VORG: If I've done something wrong, I
KALIK: The Interstellar Ecology Commission expressly forbids the transference of zoological specimens between planets.
ORUM: The creatures will have to be destroyed.
VORG: Destroyed?
PLETRAC: The machine, too.
SHIRNA: You can't do that! Our livelihood depends on the Scope!
VORG: We're just simple strolling players.
PLETRAC: Destroyed!

(Pletrac speaks into his wrist communicator.)

PLETRAC: Send the eradicator detachment to section two immediately.
VORG: Barbarians.
SHIRNA: Dim witted yokels, you said they were. Twist them round your finger, you said. Have them eating off of your hand, you said. Well, a fine mess we're in now, aren't we.
VORG: You're not blaming me?
SHIRNA: Well, I didn't want to come here, Vorg. I should have stayed with the All Star dance company.
VORG: Huh. That third rate bunch of hoofers.
SHIRNA: At least when I was with the company I always had a few credit bars, and we never travelled by cargo thruster.
PLETRAC: Eradicator detachment, follow me.

(Two functionaries wheel in a large gun on a stand.)

VORG: What's that?
VORG: This is murder! Assassination!
PLETRAC: Stand aside, you two.
VORG: I'm not without influence, you know. I shall complain.
PLETRAC: Prepare to erad. Wait.

(Pletrac goes to stand further away, by Orum and Kalik.)

PLETRAC: Commence eradication. (The gun emits red energy which envelops the Scope.)

[Inside the Scope]

(And heats up the innards.)

JO: What's happening, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Hold on, Jo!
JO: It's some kind of earthquake. It's getting hotter and hotter.
DOCTOR: Come on. Keep moving.

[Space Port]

(The eradicator is switched off.)

KALIK: Bravo.
PLETRAC: The machine must be armoured.
KALIK: We have lost face, Pletrac. Our technology has proved deficient.
ORUM: The eradicator was designed only for use against organic molecules.
PLETRAC: And the creatures in there?
ORUM: They are organic. The eradicator will have destroyed them.
PLETRAC: That is the main objective. Destruction of the machine is unimportant.

(Orum, Kalik, Pletrac and the functionaries leave.)

VORG: Ha, ha! Built, eh? None of your modern rubbish! Oh!

(The Scope casing is still hot.)

SHIRNA: Is it damaged? It might be damaged.
VORG: We'll check the circuits.

[Inside the Scope]

(The Doctor and Jo are lying on the floor, gasping.)

DOCTOR: Come on, Jo, get up.
JO: Not yet, I'm only half-cooked.
DOCTOR: Come on, get yourself up. Come on, give us your hand. Come on, up. There. Here, mop yourself down with this.
JO: Thanks. Wow, what happened?
DOCTOR: Well, it just a bit hot, didn't it?
JO: Hey, it was them. They did it on purpose.
DOCTOR: Who?
JO: The giants, of course!
DOCTOR: Well, why should they, Jo? We've done them no harm.
JO: What other reason?
DOCTOR: Look, one problem at a time, eh? Our problem is to find our way out of here. This looks quite promising. Let's try it, eh?

(He goes down a steep slope. Jo slides down it.)

JO: Promising, huh?

[Space Port]

(A Cyberman is on the glo-sphere, but it fades in golden static.)

SHIRNA: Well, that's marvellous. Who's going to pay good credit bars to see a blob in a snowstorm?
VORG: Yeah. All that heat, you know, must have affected the video circuits. Still, the specimens are all right, and that's the main thing. It only needs a slight readjustment.

(The council men are watching on an observation monitor.)

KALIK: Destroyed, Orum? All eradicated?
ORUM: The machine must contain a defensive barrier.
KALIK: But it seems we have no defences, Orum. Zarb and his councils of fools have betrayed us.
PLETRAC: That is dangerous talk, Kalik, even for the president's brother.
KALIK: Some things need to be said. Zarb disbanded the army, and now our only defence is that!

(Kalik points at the eradicator gun as they walk past where Vorg and Shirna stand with the Scope.)

KALIK: We have just demonstrated its inefficiency to those Lurman spies.
ORUM: One is told there's a new model being developed.
KALIK: And do you think the Lurman battle fleets will wait? They'll be picking their landing sites already.
PLETRAC: You are an alarmist, Kalik. After all, we have defence pacts with all the neighbouring planets.
KALIK: Don't talk to me about brotherhood and neighbourliness. We have survived in the past because of our strength!
ORUM: And now?
KALIK: We shall perish! Because of our weakness.
ORUM: Do you really think the Lurman is a spy sent here to test our defences?
KALIK: Isn't it clear?

(Vorg continues to fiddle around with the Scope.)

ORUM: Look! Perhaps a transmitter?

[Inside the Scope]

(The Doctor and Jo are still clambering through circuitry.)

DOCTOR: Right, come on now. Come on, quick as you can.
JO: Okay.
DOCTOR: That's it. That's it. There.
JO: Doctor, I think we're going round in circles. I'm sure we've been this way before.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. All these shafts look very much alike.

(They go up a ramp.)

JO: Hey. I was right. Look, your handkerchief. I must have dropped it.
DOCTOR: Yes, you are right. We must have been this way before.
JO: Oh, well that's it. We're lost.
DOCTOR: Of course we're not lost, Jo. What makes you think that? See this? You know what that is? That's a bearing housing for one of the ventilator shafts.
JO: Oh, good. Knowing makes me feel so much better.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I thought it might.
JO: Oh, well, that means we're almost home, doesn't it.
DOCTOR: It means there should be an air duct around here somewhere.

(The Doctor writes in a note book.)

JO: Silly question, but why are we looking for an air duct?
DOCTOR: Well, where's air ducted from, Jo?
JO: Outside!
DOCTOR: Right first time.
JO: Sorry, Doctor. It's just I thought we weren't getting anywhere.
DOCTOR: Yes, I know. The trouble is we're inside the blueprint instead of looking down on it.

(They scramble aside as a large spear-shaped tool thuds down near them three times.)

JO: What was that?

(The Doctor points up to a blue eye looking down at them.)

[Space Port]

VORG: You know, Shirna, I'm not given to imagination, but I thought I saw two Tellurians in the works.
KALIK: Slowly, Vorg.

(Kalik is holding his hand weapon to the back of Vorg's head.)

VORG: What are you gentlemen doing?
ORUM: Where is the transmitter?
VORG: Transmitter?
KALIK: We know you've been sending signals.
VORG: Signals?
KALIK: Stop wasting time!
VORG: But I, I have no transmitter.
PLETRAC: What were you doing in there?
VORG: Just minor repairs, that's all. Just silly little minor repairs.
SHIRNA: We had a fault in one of the video circuits, that's all. Nothing.
VORG: Nothing of consequence, nothing serious.
KALIK: Orum?

(Orum checks the Scope.)

KALIK: If there is a transmitter in there, Vorg, you're dead.
VORG: (sotto) What is a transmitter, Shirna?
SHIRNA: (sotto) For sending messages, you idiot. A beam pulser.
VORG: (sotto) We haven't got one, have we?
SHIRNA: (sotto) I thought you told me you had a masters degree in radionics?
VORG: (sotto) It's not exactly a degree. I never did understand these electrical. Would you please keep that a little further away? It's very frightening, you know.
ORUM: No, one can't see anything, Kalik.
KALIK: If there is a transmitter, it'll be disguised.
ORUM: No, there's nothing in there. Only this.

(The tiny TARDIS.)

KALIK: What is it?
VORG: A bit of bric-a-brac, your worship. It was causing interference inside circuit three. Better put it back in the Scope.

(The TARDIS starts to grow. Orum puts it on the floor.)

KALIK: What is it? And let's have the truth this time!
VORG: I don't know! I swear I don't know!
PLETRAC: Some Lurman secret weapon perhaps?
ORUM: It's some kind of a container.
VORG: It was causing interference in circuit three!
ORUM: Bric-a-brac? Why does it keep changing size?

(The TARDIS is now full sized again.)

VORG: You took it outside the Scope's compression field and kept it out too long, you see? After a bit, things regain their normal size.
PLETRAC: Silence! It is an alien artefact. Where did it come from? How did it get in there?
SHIRNA: Vorg, the Tellurians!
KALIK: What?
SHIRNA: Earlier in circuit three, I noticed two new Tellurians. Strangers. I told Vorg at the time.
VORG: My assistant is an imaginative
KALIK: Quiet. Is this possible, Orum?
ORUM: What?
PLETRAC: For Tellurian invaders to penetrate the Scope in containers such as that?
ORUM: Well, it wouldn't be possible for our technology, no. Perhaps Tellurian science is more advanced.
KALIK: And if they can get into the machine, no doubt they can also get out of it.
ORUM: What are you thinking, Kalik?
KALIK: These Tellurians are not even from our home galaxy. There is no way of telling what diseases they may have brought with them.
PLETRAC: Is there an exit from that machine?
VORG: Quite impossible, your worship. Each group of specimens is permanently contained in its own individual chamber. The scope is completely and utterly escape proof.

[Inside the Scope]

(Famous last words? The Doctor is using a piece of wire to saw through a bar.)

JO: It's almost through.

(The bar clangs to the floor. )

JO: Free. Ladies first?
DOCTOR: No, not this time, Jo. After all, we don't know what's behind this door, do we.
JO: The TARDIS, I hope.
DOCTOR: Yes, so do I.

(The Doctor opens the metre high hexagonal door and goes through into...)

[Cave]

(A very artificial one.)

JO: Looks like some sort of cave.
DOCTOR: Yes. Come on.

[Countryside]

(They emerge from underneath a large gorse bush into open scrubland. Birds are singing. Bubbles rise from the stream winding through the area.)

DOCTOR: Yeah. Not quite what I expected, Jo. Hang on a minute, will you?

(The Doctor goes back up and looks through the gorse bushes.)

JO: Can you see anything?
DOCTOR: No, it's just the same.
JO: It's a bit scary, isn't it? What are all those bubbles?
DOCTOR: Oh, some sort of marsh gas. Probably highly inflammable. Come on, we'd better take a look around.
JO: There's nothing to look at.

(They follow the bubbling stream through Tillingham Marshes.)

[Space Port]

PLETRAC: I will not accept this, Vorg. One repeats to you; one will not accept this. It has been most clearly laid down in regulations
VORG: Your worship, the scope if handled with care, is one of the safest things in the galaxy. In all
KALIK: Just a minute!
VORG: My professional experience
KALIK: What is that?

(A red light is flashing on the Scope.)

SHIRNA: Oh, another fault has developed. It's in circuit five this time.
VORG: Oh, some insignificant electrical matter. Switch on the circuit, my dear.

(It is the countryside with the stream.)

VORG: There you are, you see? It's working perfectly. Nothing wrong there.
SHIRNA: The fault is still being signalled.
KALIK: What do you call the creatures here?
VORG: The Drashigs. My little carnivores. Ho, ho, they're great favourites with the children, you know, with their gnashing and snapping and tearing at each other.
SHIRNA: Vorg, look!

(The Doctor and Jo are on the glo-sphere.)

VORG: The Tellurians! They've broken into the circuit!
SHIRNA: Vorg, you've got to get them out.
VORG: How can I? They're already as good as dead.
ORUM: Why?
VORG: Once the Drashigs get their scent, they won't stand a chance.
KALIK: Fascinating.

[Countryside]

DOCTOR: Something's wrong, Jo.
JO: Let's go back, Doctor. I don't like it here.
DOCTOR: No, neither do I.

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: They'll never make it.

[Countryside]

(Something roars.)

JO: What was that?
DOCTOR: I don't know, but it didn't sound very friendly.
JO: Look!

(Something with a long neck, lots of eyes on stalks and a mouth full of sharp teeth rears up from the swampy ground by the stream, roaring.)

Episode Three

[Countryside]

(The massive legless creature starts slithering across the ground.)

JO: What a horrible thing! Why didn't it attack us?
DOCTOR: It couldn't have seen us, Jo. It must be hunting by scent.
JO: Hunting what?
DOCTOR: Us, I'm afraid. It's following our outward trail.
JO: But it'll be at the cave when we get back there. What's that?
DOCTOR: There's more than one of those things about, Jo. Let's go.

[Space Port]

ORUM: They are escaping.
VORG: Nothing escapes the Drashigs. Even that size they terrify me.
PLETRAC: How many are there?
SHIRNA: In the scope? Oh, just one colony. Twenty or so.
KALIK: Where do they come from?
VORG: One of Grundle's satellites. It's said that many years ago, a battlethruster landed there for emergency repairs. It had a crew of fifty and all the latest armaments. They thought they could hold the Drashigs off.
PLETRAC: What happened?
SHIRNA: Nothing more was heard from them so a scout orbiter was sent out. The pictures showed nothing left of the thruster. It had been eaten.
PLETRAC: Eaten? They ate a spaceship?
SHIRNA: Apart from just a few scraps of the reactor ventricle. They're omnivorous.
VORG: Of course, they prefer flesh when they can get it.

[Countryside]

(The Doctor and Jo make their way through the marsh as quickly as they can.)

DOCTOR: Come on, Jo!
JO: I can't.
DOCTOR: But you must. We're nearly there.
JO: Doctor!

(Three Drashigs have cut them off from the cave.)

DOCTOR: Run for it, Jo!
JO: Doctor, I'm stuck!

(Jo is caught in the mud of a shallow stream. The Doctor gets out his trusty sonic screwdriver and uses it to ignite some marsh gas near the Drashigs. Jo has sunk up to her thighs in the mud by the time the Doctor goes to haul her out.)

JO: They're coming back!

[Space Port]

KALIK: Er, can't you help them?
VORG: Me?
KALIK: You're in charge of the machine. Can't you get the Tellurians out of there?
VORG: What? But I should have to put my hand inside!
SHIRNA: Oh, go on, Vorg. We can't stand here and let them be torn to pieces.

[Countryside]

DOCTOR: It's no good. There's not enough gas.

(The Doctor finally gets Jo onto more firm ground. Vorg's hand comes down in front of the Drashigs, and the Doctor and Jo make a dash for the cave.)

[Cave]

JO: Doctor, that hand.
DOCTOR: No time to talk about that now, Jo. Let's get out of here. Come on!

[Inside the Scope]

JO: Oh, Doctor, I've got to rest.
DOCTOR: Yes, I'm beginning to feel the century's myself.
JO: That, that swamp place. It wasn't the real outside, was it?
DOCTOR: No. I thought it was at first, though.
JO: But that hand, that came from the real outside, didn't it? The giants were trying to help us.
DOCTOR: Yes. By jingo, I've got it! I know what this is.
JO: What?
DOCTOR: We're in a miniscope!
JO: Miniscope?
DOCTOR: Yes, you know, Jo, it's like, it's like one of those things, those glass cases that people keep colonies of ants in.
JO: Well, yes, but I don't see. Well, wait a minute. Do you mean that that Major Daly and all those people on the ship are in a sort of a peepshow?
DOCTOR: That's right, Jo, and you and I are inside its works.
JO: And outside there are people and creatures just looking at us for kicks?
DOCTOR: Very probably.
JO: They must be evil and horrible.
DOCTOR: No, not necessarily, Jo. Thoughtless, maybe.
JO: Thoughtless?
DOCTOR: Well, haven't you ever been to the zoo? Have you never kept goldfish in a bowl?
JO: Well, yes, but that's slightly different. We're not animals.
DOCTOR: We are to those creatures up there, Jo. Roll up! Roll up! Roll up! And see these funny little creatures in their native habitat! Watch them go through their funny little tricks! Poke them with a stick and make them jump!
JO: Oh, stop it, Doctor. It's not funny.
DOCTOR: No. Oh no, believe me, I'm just as angry as you are. As a matter of fact, I had a great deal to do with the banning of these miniscopes.
JO: You did?
DOCTOR: Yes, I did. I managed to persuade the High Council of the Time Lords they were an offence against the dignity of sentient lifeforms.
JO: But I thought the Time Lords never interfered?
DOCTOR: Yes, well, they don't as a rule. But, frankly, I made such a nuisance of myself. Well, they banned the things.
JO: But, well, if these Scope things were banned, how come we're inside one?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Officially, they were all called in and destroyed.
JO: And somehow this one was missed.
DOCTOR: It looks like it. The TARDIS must have materialised in its compression field.
JO: So, here we are all cosily wrapped up with the other specimens.
DOCTOR: Yeah, but not for long, Jo. We'll soon get out of here.
JO: Will we? Seems to me we have a choice of being shot by those idiots on the ship, or eaten by those horrors out there.

(The horrors who are heading for the cave.)

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: Vorg, look at this. They're following the Tellurians.
VORG: I should have thought of that. The Drashigs never leave a scent. Not with a meal at the end of it.
SHIRNA: But if they can get out of their circuit, Vorg, anything can happen. They might even escape from the Scope!
VORG: Keep your voice down, girl. We're in trouble enough as it is.

[Inside the Scope]

JO: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Come on, Jo. It's time we got out of here.

(As the Doctor and Jo run into the workings, a Drashig smashes through the wall.)

[Space Port]

PLETRAC: What is the legal position, Kalik?
KALIK: According to law, the Lurmans should be deported and the zoological specimens impounded and destroyed.
ORUM: But how?
PLETRAC: How, indeed? The eradicator is powerless against their Scope. That is why one suggests, in order to save face, that the Lurmans be deported together with their machine.
ORUM: Agreed.
KALIK: This tribunal is not empowered to bend regulations, Pletrac, not even to save face.
PLETRAC: We must be flexible! If we can't destroy the thing, what else can we do?
KALIK: One suggests that you, Chairman Pletrac, seek special authority from Zarb.
PLETRAC: That may take time.
KALIK: It is the correct procedure.
PLETRAC: Orum?
ORUM: Kalik is right. The tribunal should observe the correct forms of procedure.
PLETRAC: Oh, very well. Make sure the functionaries with the eradicator remain alert.

[Inside the Scope]

DOCTOR: We've one advantage over them, Jo. We're smaller than them.
JO: That's an advantage?
DOCTOR: Yes, if we keep to the narrow sections, we can move faster.
JO: You never give in, do you, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Come on, quick. Down this way. Come on! Come on, give me your hand. Come on, that's it. That's the idea. Quick as you can.
JO: Oh, Doctor, those things'll follow us to the end of time. They'll never give up either.

[Space Port]

(Vorg and Shirna have fallen asleep when the alarm starts beeping on the Scope.)

SHIRNA: Hey, Vorg!
VORG: What? Oh, it's just a minor block in one of the feed lines, that's all.
SHIRNA: That minor block is probably a Drashig. Look. Not a Drashig to be seen.

(The glo-sphere shows an empty marshland.)

VORG: Well? That's not unusual.
SHIRNA: After all that excitement? You know what they're like. Normally they mill round for hours.
VORG: Well?
SHIRNA: They're loose inside the scope, Vorg! They must be roaming round out of their circuit!
VORG: What?
ORUM: The machine has become dangerous?
VORG: Oh, no, no, no, your worship. Not at all, no.
SHIRNA: Oh, tell them the truth. What does it matter now?
ORUM: What is the truth?
VORG: My assistant is an imaginative girl
KALIK: Quiet.
VORG: Whatever you say. You can rely upon my profound silence for as long as you desire.
KALIK: What is the truth?
SHIRNA: We think the Drashigs have broken out of their circuit.
VORG: You speak for yourself. Personally, I don't
KALIK: Silence!
ORUM: Broken out?
SHIRNA: Well, they went into that cave after the Tellurians and none of them have come out again.
ORUM: Where does the cave lead?
SHIRNA: Down into the supply lines. There's a control valve at the back of the cave.
VORG: Look, if the Drashigs have broken out of their circuit, and I don't for one moment believe that they have, whose fault is it, Shirna? Whose suggestion was it that I help the Tellurians escape?
KALIK: Mine.
VORG: And a most merciful and compassionate gesture, your worship.
ORUM: Merciful and compassionate?
KALIK: One has twinges.

(The Doctor and Jo continue to scurry through the workings of the Scope, as more Drashigs follow their scent. Orum and Kalik have moved away from the Scope.)

ORUM: You expected the Drashigs
KALIK: Shush!

(They go to an area where they cannot be overheard.)

ORUM: You expected the Drashigs to follow the Tellurians?
KALIK: They follow a scent blindly, so that primitive told us.
ORUM: What's to be gained by that?
KALIK: Possibly the world.
ORUM: What?
KALIK: The Tellurians will try to escape.
ORUM: And?
KALIK: The Drashigs will follow them.
ORUM: What good will that do any of us?
KALIK: Listen, Orum. For thousands of years, ever since the great space plague, our world has stood alone and been the stronger for it. Now Zarb is trying to change our ways.
ORUM: Because the functionaries are growing restive. They need distractions.
KALIK: What the functionaries need, Orum, what we all need, is something to unite us. We need a sense of purpose. We need a new leader. We need a war!
ORUM: How do you propose to achieve all that, Kalik?
KALIK: By leading the rebellion against my dear brother Zarb.

[Inside the Scope]

(The Doctor and Jo reach a sheer drop. The Doctor drops a coin and it hits bottom after five seconds.)

JO: Well?
DOCTOR: Well, logically, there should be an extractor down there. Well, if I'd designed it, there would be one.
JO: They're still following us, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes. Persistent little beggars, aren't they?
JO: Well, that's it. We're done for.
DOCTOR: I wonder?
JO: Well, we'll break our necks if we try to get down there. We'll just go on wandering around this ghastly machine forever. Well, sooner or later, we'll crawl round a corner and run slap into one of them.
DOCTOR: Things do look a little difficult at the moment, I must admit.
JO: Difficult? They're impossible.
DOCTOR: Not impossible, Jo. Nothing's impossible. There's always an answer if you can find it.
JO: Yeah, such as?
DOCTOR: Well, that's the trouble, finding it. Now I think this is the time for lateral thinking.
JO: What?
DOCTOR: Well, instead of approaching the problem from head on, you approach it sort of sideways.
JO: Sideways?
DOCTOR: Yes, take our own particular example for a moment, eh? This is our problem. We can't go forward because this shaft is too steep. We can't go back the way we came because of our hungry little friends here.
JO: Oh, I see. So we've got to go sideways.
DOCTOR: Well, I didn't mean it quite so literally, Jo. If we move sideways, we'll find ourselves back on the ship.
JO: Wait a minute, the ship! Well, that's it. There's rope on the ship, miles of it. We can use it to get down the shaft. Oh, Doctor, you're brilliant!
DOCTOR: I am?
JO: Yes, of course you are. I see what you mean now be lateral thinking. Come on, let's go.
DOCTOR: Right, hang on a minute. Let's take a look at the plan.
JO: Right.

(The Doctor checks his notebook.)

DOCTOR: Now, according to this plan, there should be a way back on the ship just around the corner. Come on.

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: They must be in that upper section, Vorg. Can't you push them back into the circuit?
VORG: I'm not putting my hand in there again.
SHIRNA: Well, think of something. They'll wreck the machine if you leave them there.
VORG: Look, all they're interested in, Shirna, is the Tellurians. The minute they're polished off, they'll probably follow their own trail back home.
SHIRNA: Why don't you close down the support system?
VORG: Because I can't. We'd lose the entire collection.

[Cargo hold]

(The Doctor and Jo enter through an hexagonal door in the hull.)

DOCTOR: Right, it's all clear. Come on.
JO: How much do we need?
DOCTOR: About a dozen fathoms, I should think.
JO: Fathoms?
DOCTOR: Ah, here's some here.

(There's the noise of a bulkhead door being unsealed, and they hide behind packing cases.)

DOCTOR: Come on.

(Andrews enters, carrying a rife. Daly is behind him.)

ANDREWS: Can't see anything here, Major.
DALY: Well, I heard it quite plainly. Like the hound of the bally Baskervilles!
ANDREWS: Are you sure it came from here, sir?
DALY: Positive, old boy.
ANDREWS: Well, perhaps some of the cargo shifted.
DALY: Oh, sea's a bit calm for that, isn't it?
ANDREWS: Well, the vibration could have done it, sir. The skipper's got her up to full steam, trying to make up a few hours.
DALY: Ah, Bombay tomorrow, eh? By Jove, I could do with a soak in a tub of fresh water, what?

(Andrews sees Jo's boot by a coil of rope.)

ANDREWS: All right. Come on out from there. It's no good lying doggo. I can see your foot.

(Jo indicates that the Doctor should stay put, and stands up.)

DALY: By jingo, a memsahib!
ANDREWS: Where did you stowaway?
JO: Here we go again.
ANDREWS: What?
JO: Nothing.
ANDREWS: Well, you'd better come with us, Miss.

[Outside the Space Port]

(It is night.)

ORUM: Zarb's position is secure. How can a rebellion succeed?
KALIK: The Drashigs escape from the machine and then into the city. They would cause havoc before finally being destroyed. The Central Bureau would be forced to admit to serious miscalculation. And on whose part, Orum? Who would be blamed?
ORUM: President Zarb.
KALIK: Exactly. The Drashigs are only here because of Zarb's liberal-minded weakness.
ORUM: Popular feeling would be aroused against him, certainly.

[Space Port]

ORUM: But you're forgetting one thing.
KALIK: What?
ORUM: The eradicator. Even if the Drashigs do escape, they'll never get into the city.

[Saloon cabin]

(Claire and Jo are drinking orange juice.)

CLAIRE: Why don't you tell John how you came aboard?
JO: Because he wouldn't believe me.
CLAIRE: Well, he'll only keep questioning you until you do tell him the truth. It's his job, you see?
JO: Look, how long do you think you've been on this ship?
CLAIRE: What?
JO: Well, you know, how long?
CLAIRE: Do you mean since we left England?
JO: Well, yes, if you like.
CLAIRE: Nearly four weeks. Why?
JO: Well, doesn't it seem like ages? I mean, well, don't you seem like you've been doing the same things for as long as you can remember?
CLAIRE: (pauses) I don't know what you mean.

(Andrews and Daly enter.)

ANDREWS: Captain wants to see you, Miss.
JO: Oh, well, anything for a change.
ANDREWS: Not a pleasant change, I'm afraid. He's certain to put you under arrest.
JO: Well, last time he was too busy to see me.
DALY: Last time?
JO: Well, yes, when I was put in your cabin, Major Daly. No, wait a minute. No, that wasn't last time. That was the time before. Oh, can't any of you remember anything?

(The Doctor has a large coil of rope over his arm as he opens the door into the machine. A Drashig screams on the other side then burst through the hull. The Doctor backs away as far as he can.)

DALY: There it is again, Andrews!
ANDREWS: And it did come from the forward hold!

[Cargo hold]

(The Drashig is completely inside the hold. The Doctor falls and a package tumbles on top of him. Andrews, two sailors and Daly burst in.)

DALY: I don't believe it!
ANDREWS: Fire!

(But the bullets have no apparent effect. They retreat.)

[Space Port]

(The functionaries leave.)

ORUM: (sotto) Where are they going?
KALIK: (sotto) To the guard block. One ordered them to take their repasts.
ORUM: (sotto) But regulations state that no eradicator must be left unattended. If there's a heat build up, it could engage accidentally!
KALIK: (sotto) Yes. But this one won't, Orum, will it.

[Main deck]

(The crew are in uproar. The bosun runs over to Andrews.)

ANDREWS: What is it, man?

(The Captain calls down from the bridge.)

CAPTAIN: What's going on, Mister Andrews?
ANDREWS: Right, Now get going. It's through into the after hold, sir.
CAPTAIN: Well, where on Earth did it come from, man? Out of the bilges?
ANDREWS: It's as big as an elephant, sir. Bigger.
CAPTAIN: Bosun, where's that gun?
ANDREWS: I know where there's something even more useful, sir, in the forward hold. Dynamite.
CAPTAIN: Bosun, chalo, chalo! Tilda caro!

[Space Port]

(Orum is pulling a module from the eradicator, when Kalik hisses a warning from the entrance arch. Pletrac enters)

PLETRAC: President Zarb has granted special powers. The Lurmans and their machine are to be deported.
ORUM: Excellent.
KALIK: And the, er, Tellurian vessel?
PLETRAC: Oh, that too can be loaded and jettisoned in deep space, unless of course the Lurmans wish to enter a claim of ownership.
ORUM: Agreed.
PLETRAC: Where are the functionaries?! Why is the eradicator unattended?
KALIK: Er, one ordered them to leave it.
PLETRAC: You ordered them? You?
KALIK: They had been on duty continually for two periods.
PLETRAC: You have exceeded your authority, Kalik! There will be an enquiry.
KALIK: Very well.
PLETRAC: But where are the functionaries?
ORUM: In the guard room.
PLETRAC: Well, fetch them. Fetch them at once!

(Orum leaves.)

PLETRAC: From the time this tribunal is dissolved, Kalik, you will be suspended pending my official report. Is that clear?
KALIK: Perfectly, Chairman Pletrac, perfectly clear.

[Main deck]

DALY: Come on.
JO: But the Doctor's down there!
DALY: No place for the fair sex, my dear.
JO: I must go!
DALY: Take place in a lifeboat, the pair of you.
JO: I'm not leaving here.

(A sailor is carrying a tommy gun.)

DALY: Ah, the very thing. Give it to me, man. Quiet!

(Daly leaves and Jo follows him. From his vantage point high up on the bridge, the Captain shouts a warning.)

CAPTAIN: Look out below! Major Daly!

(A Drashig breaks through the cargo hatch. Daly fires the tommy gun, rat a tat tat, and it goes back down. Below, Andrews dashes into the hold where the Doctor lies unconscious, and starts crowbarring open a crate of dynamite.)

[Saloon cabin]

DALY: I'm sorry, my dear, I'm sure the Captain won't be long. By Jove, that beast took a bit of stopping, eh? Well, we could all do with a chota peg, what?
CLAIRE: I've never seen anything like it. Have you?
JO: Well, actually, I have. There's rather a lot of them about.
DALY: Yes, strange waters these, you know.
JO: Oh, look, please, I've got to find the Doctor.
DALY: Ahh, you feeling a bit umpty? I'm not at all surprised.

[Cargo hold]

(The Doctor wakes as Andrews lights a stick of dynamite.)

DOCTOR: No, man, don't! You'll blow us all to bits! Don't!

(Andrews throws the dynamite through the hole in the hull and amongst the Drashigs who are queuing up to come in. BOOM!)

DOCTOR: No, man, no!

(Andrews throws a second stick. This one is a KaBOOM and the Drashigs go quiet, presumably blown to bits. The Doctor peers through the huge hole in the hull.)

[Inside the Scope]

DOCTOR: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That's done it.

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: Look at those dials, Vorg.
VORG: What about them?
SHIRNA: They're suddenly dropping back, all of them. All the circuits.
VORG: They can't be.
SHIRNA: Well, look for yourself. It's a general power failure.
VORG: Don't be ridiculous. The power system's fully protected.
SHIRNA: Well?
VORG: Well, it can't be a power failure.
SHIRNA: The generators?
VORG: The generators were built by the old Eternity Perpetual Company. They're designed to last forever. That's why the company went bankrupt.
SHIRNA: Well, they're still dropping. They'll be down to critical soon.
VORG: I can see that.
SHIRNA: Well, that's that, then. That's the Scope finished.
VORG: There should be enough power already in the circuits to keep it functioning for a time.
SHIRNA: How long?
VORG: I don't know. Nothing like this has ever happened before.
SHIRNA: Long enough to repair it?
VORG: Maybe, if I still had that handbook.
SHIRNA: You've not lost it?

[Saloon cabin]

(While the Doctor fixes his rope to a handy pole by the big drop inside the Scope, Andrews enters the saloon.)

DALY: Oh, hello, old chap. Sundowner?
ANDREWS: Oh, not for me, sir.
DALY: Claire?
CLAIRE: No, thank you, Daddy. John and I are just going for a walk.
ANDREWS: Twenty times round the deck is a mile.
JO: You've forgotten, haven't you? You've forgotten everything!
DALY: Upon my soul!
ANDREWS: Who are you?
JO: Here we go again.
ANDREWS: You're not a passenger. Where did you come from?
JO: How do know I'm not a passenger?
ANDREWS: What?
JO: Well, since none of you can remember more than about ten minutes ago, how do you know?

(The Doctor climbs down the rope to where a Drashig lies mortally wounded. He finds an hexagonal door nearby.)

JO: Can't you remember shooting the monster about twenty minutes ago?
CLAIRE: What monster?
JO: I was with you when you shot it down, Major!
DALY: What?
JO: Oh!

(Jo runs out.)

DALY: Oh, poor young girl. Must have a touch of the sun, what?
ANDREWS: Maybe. Still, we can't have stowaways wandering about.
DALY: No.
ANDREWS: Better get after her.
DALY: Yeah. Watch out for the monster.

[Space Port]

SHIRNA: The power's still dropping, Vorg.
PLETRAC: What are you doing?
VORG: (sotto) I wish I knew. (normal) Oh, routine maintenance, your worship.

(Shirna squeals as the Doctor totters out of a small hatch at the bottom of the Scope and collapses.)

Episode Four

[Space Port]

(The Doctor returns to his proper size.)

PLETRAC: Eradicator detachment, stand by!
SHIRNA: It's one of the Tellurians.
PLETRAC: Hurry, it must be eradicated!
SHIRNA: Why? He hasn't done anything wrong. Are you all right, dear?
PLETRAC: Don't touch it. It's probably crawling with germs.
VORG: He's right, Shirna. Come away. The thing must be destroyed.
PLETRAC: Eradicator detachment, one charge, maximum intensity.

(Kalik steps in front of the eradicator.)

KALIK: Wait!
PLETRAC: Stand aside, Kalik.
KALIK: This procedure is not in order.
PLETRAC: Not in order?
KALIK: The eradicator cannot be used without authority from the tribunal.
PLETRAC: In an emergency, it's perfectly
KALIK: One alien hardly constitutes an emergency.
PLETRAC: The function of this tribunal is to keep this planet clean. This Tellurian creature comes from outside our solar system and is a possible carrier of contagion. Furthermore the creature may be hostile.

(The Doctor stands up.)

DOCTOR: Will you kindly stop referring to me as the creature, sir, or I may well become exceedingly hostile.
PLETRAC: Silence! This tribunal is deliberating.
DOCTOR: The tribunal is not deliberating. The tribunal is arguing. And quite nonsensically, if I may say so.
PLETRAC: The tribunal will not tolerate insolence from unauthorised lifeforms.
DOCTOR: Will one of you kindly explain to me exactly where I am? Which planet, I mean?
KALIK: You are on Inter Minor.
DOCTOR: Inter Minor? Not Metebelis Three, the famous blue planet of the Acteon galaxy?
ORUM: Oh, no.
DOCTOR: I see. Oh, thank heavens the TARDIS is safe, anyway.
PLETRAC: This container is yours?
DOCTOR: Yes, it is indeed. And, oh yes, just as I thought. A miniscope. Now this is outrageous! Who is responsible for this device? Is it yours?
PLETRAC: Certainly not! It is the property of this Lurman. The female is his assistant.
DOCTOR: And you, sir, you are?
PLETRAC: Chairman Pletrac of the Admissions Tribunal.
ORUM: One wonders why the tribunal is submitting to questioning by this creature. Shouldn't it be the other way round?
DOCTOR: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you, gentlemen, but you are all in very serious trouble.
ORUM: Really? One almost admires its audacity.
DOCTOR: You are, I take it, the representatives of authority on this planet?
PLETRAC: One's authority comes direct from President Zarb himself.
DOCTOR: Then you have allowed the importation and the operation of a machine that is expressly forbidden by intergalactic law.
PLETRAC: One did not allow it! One has already ordered the deportation of the Lurmans and their machine.
DOCTOR: But for the moment the machine is here and it is in operation. Surely you'll scarcely deny that?
PLETRAC: Well, strictly speaking, one must concede that, er, in a sense
DOCTOR: Then you are responsible, are you not? As a direct result of your carelessness, my young companion is trapped inside this machine, in a situation of extreme peril.
PLETRAC: Look, one is forced to remind you that the question before this tribunal is your own eradication as a menace to public health.
DOCTOR: If you will allow me to rescue my young companion, and give what help I can to the rest of the unfortunates trapped in here, then I am prepared to overlook the entire matter.
ORUM: One is indeed overwhelmed.
DOCTOR: If not, then you'll just have to take the consequences. Let me know when you've made up your mind.
VORG: Marvellous, Shirna! What audacity, eh? Do you know, I do believe he's one of us?
SHIRNA: One of us? He's a Tellurian.
VORG: Of course, but I recognise the type. He's in the carnival business, I'm sure. I mean, look at his manner and look at his clothes. Don't forget that I've worked many a Tellurian fairground.
SHIRNA: You may be right. He's certainly got the style.
VORG: Oh, I'd wager on it. He's got the measure of these grey faced idiots right enough.
KALIK: Personally speaking, one is against this whole thing.
PLETRAC: One might have expected you to take that attitude, Kalik. Orum, are you for or against the use of the eradicator?
ORUM: Against.
KALIK: You are outvoted, Pletrac.
PLETRAC: Very well. Eradicator detachment, stand down.
DOCTOR: Thank you for your timely intervention, sir.
PLETRAC: Wait! Where are you going?
DOCTOR: Just over there.
KALIK: You're very nervous, Pletrac?
PLETRAC: Not nervous so much as puzzled. What use is the Tellurian to you?
KALIK: Of no use.
PLETRAC: You never do anything without a reason, Kalik. Why did you try to save the Tellurian's life?
KALIK: Out of mercy and compassion. Vorg will tell you.

(Kalik and Orum leave.)

VORG: I bet he understands the Polari. Listen to this.
SHIRNA: Eh?
VORG: The Tellurian carnival lingo. Watch. Polari la carny?
DOCTOR: I beg your pardon?
VORG: Vada the bona palone?

(Look at the lovely woman.)

DOCTOR: I'm sorry.
VORG: Niente dinari round here, y'jills.

(No money... not sure about that last word.)

DOCTOR: I must apologise. I'm afraid I do not understand your language.
VORG: Oh, you understand, all right. You're a showman, the same as me, ain't you.
DOCTOR: Are you a showman, sir?
VORG: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the great Vorg! And this beautiful young lady is Shirna, my assistant.
DOCTOR: Delighted, Miss Shirna. I am the Doctor.
VORG: Doctor. Great title, you know. Doctors, Professors, always pulls them in.
DOCTOR: Tell me, sir, are you in charge of this disgraceful device?
VORG: Yes, why? Is something wrong?
DOCTOR: Yes, something is very wrong. I too have an assistant, you know, and she's trapped inside this machine. Now somehow I've got to get her out.
VORG: Oh, Doctor, Doctor! I wouldn't put your hand in there. Those Drashigs can take a lump right out of you.
DOCTOR: Drashigs?
SHIRNA: They followed you out of the circuit. They're running wild inside there now. Doing terrible damage, aren't they, Vorg?
VORG: Oh, they've broken the statofields. Very soon, I'm going to lose the entire collection.
DOCTOR: What, lose them? That would be a tragedy.
VORG: You can say that again. My insurance doesn't cover the replacement of livestock.
DOCTOR: Livestock? Let me tell you, sir, that the people inside that ship are human beings.
VORG: That's right. Tellurians, Ogrons, Drashigs. Oh, marvellous collection.
DOCTOR: The collection of the simplest animal lifeforms is a dubious enough pursuit in itself, sir, but the collection of civilised intelligent beings is a positive crime. Now let me warn you that I intend to put an end to this shameful business.
VORG: There's no need to get excited. It's putting an end to itself.
DOCTOR: Huh? What does that mean?
VORG: The scope's packing up. All the life support systems are going to break down soon.
SHIRNA: Even on tickover, the power's almost down to critical.
DOCTOR: How long will it last?
VORG: Who knows? Can't be much longer.
DOCTOR: Well, that means that every living creature in there will die, including my assistant! Now somehow, I've got to find a way of saving them.

[Main deck]

ANDREWS: Have you seen her?
DALY: Not this side.
ANDREWS: Well, she can't get away. We'll get a search party together and search the ship.

(Jo comes out of hiding and goes in the opposite direction.)

[Space Port]

ORUM: (sotto) What is the Tellurian doing?
KALIK: Trying to rescue the other Tellurian, one imagines.
ORUM: They are clearly social creatures.
KALIK: Mmm, and harmless.
ORUM: Pletrac is growing suspicious. If he should decide to examine the eradicator, he will discover that one has rendered it useless.
KALIK: You worry too much, Orum.
ORUM: President Zarb still decrees the death penalty for acts of treason.
KALIK: Have you destroyed the part?
ORUM: What part?
KALIK: From the eradicator.
ORUM: Oh, you mean the trizon? Yes, it's here.
KALIK: We will conceal it in the Lurman's baggage. Then if anything should go wrong, one of us can always discover it.
ORUM: Of course! Blame it on the Lurman.
KALIK: An alien spy and saboteur.

[Cargo hold]

JO: Doctor? Doctor, are you there?
ANDREWS: There she is!

(A sailor grabs Jo's arm before she can get through the hole in the hull.)

ANDREWS: Now then, Miss.
JO: It's all right. I know the routine.

[Space Port]

(The Doctor has his face in the innards of the Scope.)

VORG: You know, Shirna, he could lose that nose of his just like that.
SHIRNA: Vorg!

(A panel at the base of the Scope is rattling.)

VORG: That's odd. The Drashigs!
SHIRNA: They've reached the outer hull. Vorg, if they get out, they'll expand to full size.
VORG: Come on, it's time we left. Come on.
PLETRAC: And where are you going?
VORG: Er, where are we going, yes.
SHIRNA: Home?
VORG: Home. We thought we'd take a shuttle out to the thruster base.
PLETRAC: A transporter has been ordered for you. You will be taken, together with your machine, to the thruster base.
VORG: There's no need to worry. I mean, we can find our own way. Don't bother. You can keep the Scope. You're welcome to it.
PLETRAC: You will remain here until the transporter arrives! The quarantine regulation on the conveyance of aliens is explicit. You will be taken to the thruster base in a transporter which we then be disinfected before further use.
VORG: Disinfected?

(Pletrac takes out a hand weapon and points it at Vorg.)

PLETRAC: Back. Back, back.

[Daly's cabin]

ANDREWS: Now, Miss, I'm going to lock you in here until
JO: Until the Captain can find time to see me. I know.
ANDREWS: Right. Sensible girl.

(Andrews locks the door. Jo waits until he's gone then gets out her bunch of skeleton keys.)

[Space Port]

(The Doctor removes a melted transistor from the Scope.)

DOCTOR: Vorg?
VORG: Doctor, I shouldn't stay too near the Scope. The Drashigs, you know.
DOCTOR: Listen, Vorg, I shall need your help. I've got to get back inside this machine.
VORG: What?
DOCTOR: Well, it's the only way I can get Jo out of there in time and save the rest of your livestock. But I shall need you to trigger the settings for me.
VORG: Settings?
DOCTOR: Look, this is your machine, isn't it?
VORG: Well, of course it is. Why?
DOCTOR: Then I presume you know how it works.
SHIRNA: He won it, Doctor.
DOCTOR: He what?
VORG: It was during the Great Wallarian Exhibition.
SHIRNA: You know what gamblers the Wallarians are. Well, Vorg had the magum pod concession.
VORG: Surely you've seen it? I have three magum pods and a yorrow seed. You know, the quickness of the hand deceives the eye. You put the yorrow seed under the middle pod
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I have seen something similar. You say you won this machine? And you haven't the faintest idea how it works? I see. Well, look, this Wallarian that you got it from, did he by any chance give you a green or a blue disc. A thing about this big?
VORG: Oh, he gave me a lot of odds and ends. They're in my bag. I think there is something like that.
DOCTOR: Well go and have a look, will you? It's very important.
SHIRNA: What's the idea, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, it's simple, really. You see, the Scope's, er, omega circuit is broken. Now if I can link it to the TARDIS and use that as the master, I can reprogramme the Scope.
SHIRNA: And what will that do?
DOCTOR: Well, two things I hope. It'll enable me to get Jo out of here in time, and get her out of this wretched contraption, and it will return all the other lifeforms to their original space time coordinates.
SHIRNA: So they'll all get back to where they came from.
DOCTOR: I sincerely hope so, yes.
VORG: Is this it? A bit mucky, I'm afraid.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's it. Thank heavens you kept it. Look, come with me and I'll tell you what I want you to do. Er, would you mind just waiting there for a moment?

(The Doctor goes into the TARDIS.)

[Outside the Space Port]

(Kalik is giving functionaries their instructions.)

KALIK: Now remember. Do nothing until you get the signal. Is that clear? Good. About your business. Quickly.

(The functionaries shuffle off.)

ORUM: The transporter must arrive shortly.
KALIK: So, do you think my plan has failed?
ORUM: Upon reflection, one is conscious of certain flaws.
KALIK: Indeed?
ORUM: One gathers the intention is the escape of these Drashigs in order to cause a disaster that will reflect badly upon President Zarb and his regime.
KALIK: Admirably put.
ORUM: To this end, one has sabotaged the eradicator in order to leave the city defenceless.
KALIK: Precisely. The bigger the disaster, the better for us.
ORUM: Yes, but is it not possible that one might oneself become part of that disaster?
KALIK: There is a certain minimal risk.
ORUM: One has no wish to be devoured by alien monstrosities, even in the cause of political progress.
KALIK: When the Drashigs burst from the machine, the city will be taken by surprise. We, on the other hand, will be ready to remove ourselves from the area of danger.
ORUM: One trusts the removal will be speedy. According to that Lurman, the ferocity of the Drashigs is formidable!
KALIK: No doubt he exaggerates. And in any case, I'm sure that as commissioners of Inter Minor we shall prove to be more than a match for these, er, primitive lifeforms. Have no fear, Orum. My plan will not fail.
ORUM: Well, it will if the Drashigs don't escape.

[Space Port]

ORUM: And there's no sign of that.
KALIK: Shush.

(They go over to the Scope and kneel down where the Drashigs are battering against a panel.)

KALIK: Isn't there?
ORUM: (sotto) They'll never break through those plates. They're molectic bonded disillum.
KALIK: (sotto) Then perhaps one had better give them a little help.

(As Jo leaves Daly's cabin, the Doctor has brought a tangle of equipment and cables out of the TARDIS and attached them to the Scope.)

VORG: Will it work, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes, of course it'll work.
VORG: Well, it's not very well insulated.
DOCTOR: Then don't touch any bare metal. Right, now listen to me. This is the phase one switch here. And this is the phase two. Now, don't touch the phase two until the last possible moment. Do you understand?
VORG: I've got that. Phase one, phase two. Yes.
DOCTOR: Good.
PLETRAC: What are you doing?
SHIRNA: The Doctor's going back into the Scope.
PLETRAC: You will remain here. You came here illegally. Regulations demand that you be sent to the ICCA.
DOCTOR: What's the ICCA?
VORG: The Inner Constellation Corrective Authority. You won't like it, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Prison?
PLETRAC: You are, by your own admission, a vagabond.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, yes, very much so. Phase one.

(The Doctor has his hands on his contraption. Vorg pushes down the handle and the Doctor vanishes.)

PLETRAC: What? Er, stop!

(Pletrac fires his weapon and the contraption goes bang.)

VORG: Oh, no!
SHIRNA: We'll never get him back now!

(The Doctor wakes up inside the workings of the Scope.)

SHIRNA: Can you fix it?
VORG: I don't know. All these wires.
SHIRNA: Well, you must try.
VORG: Well, I'm doing my best.
SHIRNA: The Doctor's relying on us.
VORG: Well, put your finger on there a minute, will you?
SHIRNA: Here?

(Crackle, spark, squeal.)

VORG: Good. That must be the live terminal.

[Cargo hold]

(Jo enters and goes to the hole in the hull.)

JO: Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me?
DOCTOR [OC]: Jo? Jo, is that you?
JO: Doctor! Doctor, where've you been?
DOCTOR: Look, stop asking silly questions and come on.

[Inside the Scope]

JO: Doctor.

[Space Port]

VORG: Haven't you found that sprock yet?
SHIRNA: I think you've lost that, too.
VORG: Oh.

(Kalik is on the other side of the Scope, picking at the panel.)

ORUM: (sotto) One will have to hurry, Kalik. The transporter's due.
KALIK: (sotto) Keep Pletrac busy.
ORUM: (sotto) One will try.
KALIK: (sotto) Orum.

(Kalik gives Orum his hand weapon.)

SHIRNA: Is this part of something, Vorg?
VORG: Hmm? Where'd you get that?
SHIRNA: I found it in your bag. Do you know what it is?
VORG: Huh. I haven't seen one of these since my national service days. The old Fourteenth Heavy Lasers. Oh, what an outfit. Our battery sergeant was a Crustasoid mercenary with
SHIRNA: Vorg! The power's almost down to critical. Is the phase two switch ready?
VORG: Well, it won't be long. I've just got to fix this junction box.

[Inside the Scope]

(The Doctor and Jo are clambering through circuitry.)

DOCTOR: Come on, Jo.
JO: I can't
DOCTOR: Come on.
JO: Get my breath.
DOCTOR: Come on, the circuits are going.
JO: I can't.
DOCTOR: Come on, Jo! Come on, one last effort. We're nearly there.

[Saloon cabin]

CLAIRE: Daddy.
DALY: Claire.
CLAIRE: Oh, Daddy.
DALY: My dear
ANDREWS: What's the matter?
DALY: Give us a hand. It's heat exhaustion. I should never have brought her out here.

(Daly passes out on the other couch and Andrews falls to the floor, gasping for oxygen.)

[Outside the Space Port]

ORUM: Ah, the transporter has arrived at last.
PLETRAC: Yes, it is time to get these aliens aboard.
ORUM: Why was it delayed?
PLETRAC: One understands that the functionaries at the transporter depot are refusing to work double shifts.
ORUM: What impudence.
PLETRAC: Yes, the functionaries are getting above themselves. We live in troubled times. Oh, do get out of the way, Orum. (From inside the arrivals area comes a roar and male scream.)

[Space Port]

(A Drashig is towering over Kalik.)

KALIK: No, no, no, no!

(Kalik stumbles away and the Drashig follows.)

PLETRAC: Quick, the eradicator!

(The functionaries leave and Pletrac tries to operate it himself.)

PLETRAC: Sabotage! Run for your lives!
VORG: This way!

(Vorg plugs his army souvenir into the eradicator. Outside, Kalik trips and the Drashig is upon him.)

SHIRNA: Vorg, look here!

(Vorg swings the eradicator around and fires at the Drashig's head. The creature dies.)

SHIRNA: Look out!

(A second Drashig has come out of the Scope. Vorg turns and fires again.)

[Inside the Scope]

(The Doctor and Jo collapse.)

DOCTOR: Vorg. Vorg. The phase two switch.

(He passes out.)

[Space Port]

VORG: Well, that's that.
SHIRNA: What about the Doctor?
VORG: Oh, it must be too late.
SHIRNA: Well, we can try.
VORG: If you like.

(Vorg pushes down the phase two handle.)

VORG: No, it's no use. The power's completely gone. No. No, wait a minute.

(The contraption hums and inside the Scope, a Drashig disappears from its swamp. The SS Bernice disappears from the seas and the Doctor and Jo fade away. Then the thing starts smoking badly.)

VORG: I'll have to switch it off.
SHIRNA: But you can't!

(The Scope glo-sphere explodes.)

VORG: Well, that's it, then.
SHIRNA: No, wait!

(The Doctor and Jo appear on the floor, full sized already.)

VORG: It worked!
DOCTOR: Hello, Vorg. Well, you cut that a bit fine, didn't you?
VORG: Oh, we had a spot of bother here.
JO: Doctor? Doctor?
DOCTOR: It's all right, Jo. It's all right, Jo, we've made it.
JO: Well, where are the others?
DOCTOR: Others?
JO: Well, yes, on the ship?
DOCTOR: Well, I reversed the original settings and linked them to the TARDIS, so they should still be on the ship.
JO: But back in 1926 in the Indian Ocean?
DOCTOR: Yes, exactly.

[Daly's cabin]

(Daly is in bed. He's finished reading his book. There is a knock on the door.)

DALY: Who is it?
CLAIRE: Only me. I didn't wake you, did I?
DALY: Of course not.
CLAIRE: I wouldn't want to wake you just to say goodnight.
DALY: I've been reading.
CLAIRE: Have you finished it?
DALY: Yeah. Seems like the longest book I've ever read in me life.
CLAIRE: It does seem to have been a long trip somehow. Daddy?
DALY: Hmm?
CLAIRE: Oh, nothing.
DALY: Disappointing ending, you know. Fellow became a missionary. I thought he was going to marry her.
CLAIRE: Oh, you are an old romantic, aren't you, Daddy? I'll bet half your stories about the East are just romances.
DALY: You'll see for yourself tomorrow, Claire. Bombay!
CLAIRE: I'm looking forward to that.
DALY: Don't think young Andrews is though.
CLAIRE: That's what I mean, you see. Romantic. Goodnight, Daddy.
DALY: Goodnight, my child. Sleep well.

(Daly puts a line through 4th June 1926 on his calendar. So much for the greatest maritime mystery since the Marie Celeste - which was also a result of the Doctor's time travels if you remember!)

[Space Port]

(The Doctor and Jo put the equipment back in the TARDIS.)

VORG: There was this second monster, barreling in at ninety degrees, practically breathing down my neck, and I swung like this, see, keeping low and I gave him a quick burst right in the vitals. Snap shot, it was.
PLETRAC: We are all extremely grateful to you. Your valour will not be forgotten.
VORG: Well, it's my natural reaction to stand and fight, you know.
PLETRAC: Our President will almost certainly wish to honour our Lurman guests for their courageous action.
VORG: Some form of decoration perhaps?
SHIRNA: But how are we going to live? The Scope's had it, and we haven't a credit bar to our name.
VORG: You leave that to me, my dear. I say, Pletrac, old man, let me show you a little trick.

(Vorg touches Pletrac, who winces.)

VORG: I'm so sorry. Now, I have here three magum pods and a yorrow seed. Right? Now, I place the yorrow seed under the middle pod, like so. Now, I move them very, very slowly. Now watch.
PLETRAC: Yes.
VORG: Watch carefully. Are you watching? You tell me which pod you think the seed is under.
PLETRAC: The middle one.
VORG: The middle one? You wouldn't like to wager, say, a couple of credit bars on your judgement, would you?
PLETRAC: Certainly. One will wager two credit bars that the seed is under the middle pod. One can hardly discount the evidence of one's eyes.

(Vorg lifts the middle pod. Nothing there.)

VORG: Oh, you're unlucky.
PLETRAC: One was obviously too hasty. One will not make the same mistake a second time.
VORG: Another little wager?
PLETRAC: Five credit bars. No, ten!
VORG: Whatever you say, Pletrac. Thank you. You know, I'm going to like it here. You remind me of the Wallarians, you know. They're great sportsmen, too. There we are.
DOCTOR: I don't think we need worry too much about our friend Vorg.
JO: He'll probably wind up President.
VORG: Watch carefully.
PLETRAC: One watches.

(The Doctor and Jo go into the TARDIS.)

VORG: I move them very, very slowly like that. Now keep watching. Now you tell me which pod you think the seed is under. I'm giving you a chance to

(The TARDIS dematerialises.)

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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