MASTER: Missy? Seriously, why?

MISSY: Oh, because he's right. Because it's time to stand with him. It's where we've always been going, and it's happening now, today. It's time to stand with the Doctor.

MASTER: No. Never. Missy! I will never stand with the Doctor!

MISSY: Yes, my dear, you will.

DOCTOR: Missy. Missy. You've changed. I know you have. And I know what you're capable of. Stand with me. It's all I've ever wanted.

MISSY: Me too. But no. Sorry. Just, no. (she takes his hand) But thanks for trying.

DOCTOR: We had a pact, me and him. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don't think she ever saw anything.

MISSY: I am your friend.

DOCTOR: Makes no difference.

MISSY: I know it doesn't. I know I'm going to die. I have to say it, the truth. Without hope. Without witness. Without reward. I am your friend.

CLARA: How can you and the Doctor be friends?

MISSY: Why shouldn't we be?

CLARA: You spend all your time fighting.

MISSY: Exactly.

CLARA: Since when do you care about the Doctor?

MISSY: Since always. Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie. Can you guess which one?

CLARA: He's not your friend. You keep trying to kill him.

MISSY: He keeps trying to kill me. It's sort of our texting. We've been at it for ages.

CLARA: Mmm. Must be love.

MISSY: Oh, don't be disgusting. We're Time Lords, not animals. Try, nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain, and contemplate friendship. A friendship older than your civilisation, and infinitely more complex.

MISSY: It's a confession dial.

CLARA: A what?

MISSY: In your terms, a will. The Last Will and Testament of the Time Lord known as the Doctor, to be delivered, according to ancient tradition, to his closest friend, on the eve of his final day.

(Clara reaches for it, and gets an electric shock.)

MISSY: Ah, ah! What are you doing?

CLARA: You said. I thought.

MISSY: No, no, no, no, no. It was delivered to me.

CLARA: You?

MISSY: Well of course it was sent to me. What have you got to do with it? I'm his friend. You're just

CLARA: I'm just what?

MISSY: See that couple over there?

(A man and a woman walk through with their dog.)

MISSY: You're the puppy.

DOCTOR: Why are you doing this?

MISSY: I need you to know we're not so different. I need my friend back.

DOCTOR: Mr. Renk and I are going to have a very serious talk, and when I've finished with him he's going to wish he'd been born.

BENNY: I think you mean "he's going to wish he'd never been born".

DOCTOR: I know what I mean.

ROMANA III: Gallifrey faces its darkest hour. Again.

LEELA: She is quicksilver. I prefer steel.

LEELA: It is good to be free from those tunnels. Although I enjoyed learning that you have a fear of spiders.

NARVIN: Only six inch ones with fangs dripping venom.

LEELA: The poor creature back there was not more than the size of a baby's thumb!

NARVIN: Well, they look bigger when they fall on your face.

ROMANA: I wonder what the odds are that every Narvin in the multiverse is power mad and unpleasant.

K9: I shall calculate.

ROMANA: Don't bother, K9. I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

ROMANA: Whole civilisations lie im ashes because of what I've done. Fear me, Chancellor. Because I do.

ROMANA: I don't like it, Narvin, but I've made a promise to people I care about. And if it means I have to rearrange the stars in every constellation from here to Alpha Centauri, then I will.

LEELA: No, Romana, I am not alright. I followed you to this world because I believed you would protect us. I watched as we lost Braxiatel and now we have lost K9.

ROMANA: We'll find a way back to him one day, Leela. I promise.

LEELA: No! No, your promises are just words like any other. They sound hollow and wrong. Tou know that he is gone now, just as I do, and that he can never return. I must go.

ROMANA: No, Leela, wait! We have to stick together!

LEELA: I will not let you lose me too. I can find my own way though the forest without your Axis or your portals or your eye. Goodbye, Romana, Narvin. We shall not meet again.

NARVIN: Leela, you are a wonder. I turn my back on you for a single span, and you organise an entire rebellion.

ALT NARVIN: I always wanted to be Rassilion and bring the power of time and space to Gallifrey, but if I can't do that, at least I can fulfil his real plan and save it. I leave this Gallifrey to you, Romana. Make it yours. Teach it your ways. Then, perhaps, my people can be Time Lords too, one day.

NARVIN: For the last time, Leela, slow down. I should have put you on a leash.

LEELA: I heard that.

LEELA: You have never really liked me, have you Narvin?

NARVIN: Not much. I think you'd agree we were thrown together. But Romana likes you. I suppose that's all I need these days. But I... um... I certainly respect you, Leela.

LEELA: Good. That is better than being liked. Thank you, Narvin.

LEELA: Romana, I am your friend, and as such, I must speak freely.

ROMANA: You always do.

LEELA: No. No, I do not, but you often believe I do. Rarely do I speak what is on my mind, for I do not always understand what it is that you and Narvin and Braxiatel are saying.

ROMANA: Well, I've always admired your turn of phrase, your direct approach. Your bluntness. I'm not sure how much more honest you could be.

LEELA: You are a fool.

ROMANA: Ah, well, okay. I wasn't expecting that.

LEELA: Did that scream not relight the fires in your hearts?

NARVIN: No, it terrified me. and before you get smart about it, yes I am a coward, and no I am not a warrior, alright? Have we successful established that?

LEELA: Fear not, brave Time Lord. Sightless Leela shall protect you from the shadows.

LEELA: War should not be simple. War should be tactical and brave, fought with guile and cunning. Otherwise it is just a game for cowards and politicians, for those who pretend to know courage, but do not.

ROMANA: Ah, that's more like it. Narvin and Leela at each other's throats, just like the good old days. Well come on then. If I'm going to keep you two in check, I'll need to talk to K9 about exactly what it is we're letting ourselves in for.

NARVIN: That was your plan to get her out and about again? Insulting me?

LEELA: It worked, did it not? Besides, insulting you is one of the few remaining pleasures I enjoy. You would not deny me that, would you?