“Take two shopping trolleys into the shoe canyon? Not me. I'll take six!”

BENNY: You know, just when you think life might be turning a corner; just when you think things might be getting better, wham! another curveball. I've been through a hell of a lot, you know. If I stopped and told you the story of my life, we'd just be hitting the age of ten when that bomb goes off. 'Oh, she's a fighter,' that's what people say about me, but they're wrong. I'm not a fighter. I'm a liar and a coward. Ha, the things I've done. The universe calls me a professor but the only things I'm qualified to profess are the vitues of hiding at the bottom of a whiskey tumbler, or running so far away from life that even time couldn't catch up with me.

I could do it all again, you know. Run away. Hidden in a dusty shoebox, tucked away at the back of my wardrobe, I have a pair of Time Rings. Open tickets to anywhere and anywhen. They're my escape route; my way out. Any time, I could just slip one on and disappear forever. Tiptoe away from my life. Run and run and run until everything is less than a speck in the distance: Jason, Brax, Bev, Adrian. Even dear little Peter. I could just say goodbye to it all, this bonkers like the universe has thrown at me. But I don't. Ah, I think about it now and again, but if I left... Well, who would fight the monsters, hm? Who would be left to believe in the angels? I choose to stay here.

So, the Time Rings stay in the wardrobe, out of temptation's reach, and this life is the life I choose for myself. Archaeologist. Mother. Secret agent, freedom fighter. The good guy. And what's more, I'm glad. I'm glad that one of those bloody curveballs landed me here. I've got everything I ever wanted: friends; a family, almost; a lover... well, sometimes. A child. A home. It's worth fighting for. You talk about believing in bigger things. Well, a home is the biggest thing in the world.

LEELA: I might stay here. It is as much a home as Gallifrey. Here, I would be of use.

ROMANA: But you can be of use to me.

LEELA: How is that?

ROMANA: I need someone to watch my back. A Presidential bodyguard.

LEELA: Me? A bodyguard? K9! I am to be a Presidential bodyguard!

LEELA: I do not lie. I shall kill you, Time Lord.

TORVALD: Leela, please.

LEELA: I shall dangle your entrails before your dying eyes.

TORVALD: That’s… really horrible.

LEELA: I could not return to the place I came from.

ROMANA: Well, yours is a special case.

NARVIN: How so, Madam President?

ROMANA: Because I say it is!

LEELA: They mean you no cruelty when they chew on your bones.

OLD MAN: That is so. This is the life of the outsider. Why would you cross this line, sister Leela?

LEELA: When I am inside the city, old man, now, that feels like outside to me.

OLD MAN: You have been inside for many years. You have changed, for the city never does.

LEELA: There was a man. They said he was my tamer, but it was not like that. We were both of us lions, happily mated in our cage. Then came the day that he did not return. As two lions, we were proud to walk the city, but one lion alone does not make a pride. There is not even the Doctor. Not anymore.

BRAXIATEL: Mozart, Madam? The Magic Flute?

ROMANA: It purports to be. How K9 will ever understand beauty, I don’t know. Not when the only recordings he can access are so inadequate. He’ll just have to go to Salzburg.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, where you can be his star blazing queen of the night.

ROMANA: Don’t push it, Braxiatel.

LEELA: But will we not seem out of place at your summit? I warn you, I am not wearing your shiny, chafing city-clothes for seven days.

ROMANA: I don’t want you to. This is an undercover assignment.

LEELA: Oh?

ROMANA: And you will blend in beautifully just as you are.

“My greetings to you, delegates. I regret deeply that already the serious work of this committee is degenerating into petty squabbling, and that Gallifrey should be dragging it deeper into the jingoistic mire. If we can chart the universe from an incandescent atom to a final fiery crunch, it is to be hoped that we can outgrow such childish patriotism. This is an historic moment, delegates. We may have mastery of time, but time will ever judge us.”

K9: Affirmative. I am programmed in three levels of dance instruction. Beginners, intermediate, and specialise–

LEELA: No thank you, K9. I shall dance the fire dance of the Sevateem, though many years have passed since I last… I remember it still. I will not let Lexi die, K9. Tonight, I shall watch Flinkstab with the eyes of a hunting bird. He shall not strike.

ROMANA: I didn’t believe it when Narvin told me. I didn’t want to believe it, but then I remembered reading up on the Braxiatel Collection, once. Long ago, on my travels.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, just a notion of mine at present. A way of doing what little I can to preserve the creations of lifekind from the ravages of time.

ROMANA: It’s a good idea. How long have you–

BRAXIATEL: A very long time. At first, I expected to be caught. At every deal, I expected Narvin or one of his cronies to be waiting for me. I suppose it was Project Alpha that set me off on it - knowing how close, how very close, we came to destroying so much.

ROMANA: So you set about saving it before another catastrophe.

BRAXIATEL: We live in a catastrophic universe!

“One thing our President cannot be accused of is incompetence. She may be guilty of compassion, intuition, emotion, honesty, integrity - pragmatism, even. But she is supremely competent. That is the root cause of most of our problems.”

ROMANA: Don’t trust Narvin. Or Torvald.

LEELA: I do not. Both have let me down before.

ROMANA: Remember, we need to know who is behind this. We need someone left alive to interrogate.

LEELA: Try not to kill anyone. That’s what Andred used to tell me. It amused him to say it… My late husband.

BRAXIATEL: Do you think she finally believes that Andred is dead?

ROMANA: I think she’s starting to accept that he may be.

BRAXIATEL: Is he?

ROMANA: I don’t know.

“I am Lady Romanadvoratrelundar, President of the Supreme Council of Gallifrey and all her dominions, holder of the wisdom of Rassilon, preserver of the Matrix, guardian of the legacy of Omega. But you can call me Romana, and I have come to present evidence.”

BRAXIATEL: That fool Glower was actually going to set the thing off! As a scientific study!

ROMANA: But something stopped him.

BRAXIATEL: Right at the last moment. The device was dismantled and never spoken of again. Rumour has it that Narvin persuaded him to change his mind. Whatever happened, the CIA recruited Narvin and he’s never looked back.

LEELA: Except to see who stands behind him with a knife.

“I see you. I see my enemy in my enemy's clothes, and my heart runs cold, because I see, too, that the man I loved… is dead.”

TORVALD: You’re mad!

ROMANA: Boiling mad! Time is not a game, Torvald! You, Narvin, Arkadian - silly boys, the lot of you! Treating the timeline like a train set in the attic! Chuck this carriage here, this carriage there, move point, change the signal box, replace the controller. I’m not having it, Torvald! Not anymore! So tell me the truth!

LEELA: A man does not become hated for nothing.

SISSY: He says things sometimes, about the races. Things everyone believes, but no one wants to hear. About how some of us are born high and noble, and others are born with less… desirable traits. I mean, what’s wrong with keeping people apart if they won’t ever get on?

LEELA: Where I come from, the people were kept apart for longer than anyone could remember. Now, the Sevateem were as clever as the Tesh, and the Tesh were as savage as the Sevateem. But because they had been apart for so long, they could not see they were just the same. This system sprang from madness, too.

SISSY: Well, you would say that. You’re a Slav. I don’t blame you for wanting to live alongside us, but, well, you can’t, because you’ll drag us down, and we have to preserve the most beautiful things. Oh, I mean no offence, of course.

LEELA: You think you are better than me? You pick the lock.

SISSY: I can’t. I don’t know how.

LEELA: Then who is dragging who down? I mean no offence, of course.

NARVIN: This piece of equipment is essential to my mission.

ROMANA: Aha, and what might that be?

NARVIN: I might very well ask the same of you. This time zone is subject to the most stringent embargoes!

ROMANA: None of which apply to the President. I am free to go wherever and whenever I choose, without submitting a mountain of paperwork first, and I do find the Alpine air so refreshing.

NARVIN: Madam, the Alps are in the other direction.

ROMANA: Are they? Damn.

LEELA: Why did you shoot Narvin, K9? Not that I’m complaining.

K9: Pandora was only active by piggy-backing the brainwaves of an exceptionally intelligent Time Lord.

BRAXIATEL: Hence his lack of sleep. If Narvin had slept, Pandora’s power would have closed down. She must have accessed him ages ago.

ROMANA: Or, like me, it might be inherited, waiting for the right moment.

LEELA: I do not know which shocks me most, Romana. That you had a previous life, or that Narvin is considered one of the most intelligent Time Lords.

NARVIN: Braxiatel.

BRAXIATEL: Yes?

NARVIN: Thank you.

BRAXIATEL: Oh, don’t mention it. I mean that. To no one. I couldn’t bear the shame.

NARVIN: Of what?

BRAXIATEL: Saving your neck.

K9: This unit does not have feelings, mistress.

LEELA: That is untrue, K9. Many times you and the other K9–

K9: Neither K9 unit possesses feelings, mistress.

LEELA: You should not be afraid of your feelings, K9.

ROMANA: Yes, thank you. If we can move on from the emotional support group session?

LEELA: No. The spirit told me you would come.

ROMANA: Oh, come on.

LEELA: Do not mock me, Romana. You should know by now I am rarely wrong about such things.

ROMANA: Granted, you’re rarely wrong with your instincts, but… as for rational explanations of what you feel, well, that’s another story.

LEELA: You do not believe me?

ROMANA: I believe you that something is here alright. Just not that it’s a spirit, evil or otherwise.

LEELA: I never said it was evil.

ROMANA: Oh, well, I just assumed. I mean, they usually are with you.

K9: Something has happened to Leela. Apparently, she has vanished. Literally.

ROMANA: When you say literally, K9, I assume you’re not talking figuratively. I find people who use the word literally when they don’t mean it literally very annoying.

K9: Leela has literally vanished, mistress.

BRAXIATEL: I do what I do for the benefit of Gallifrey. You are the best President it has had for… well, for a very, very long time.

ROMANA: I doubt this is over. Narvin will make capital of it, I’m sure.

BRAXIATEL: So will others. We’ll weather the storm.

ROMANA: This is going to be a trying time. For both of us. I’m glad you’re on my side. I feel we might have a chance.

BRAXIATEL: My President flatters me.

LEELA: How far now, K9?

K9: Query, mistress?

LEELA: How far have we walked, K9, below the Capitol?

K9: Do you require the measurements in inches, feet, metres, spammers, trigons–

LEELA: Enough, K9.

K9: We have come, in your own terms, mistress, a long way down.

LEELA: I wonder how long we’ve been away from them.

K9: If you require the time lapse in your own terms, mistress, we have been walking for quite some time.

ROMANA: Oh, Wynter, what am I going to do with you?

WYNTER: Call me Soggy-Boggy like everyone else.

ROMANA: I beg your pardon?

WYNTER: Uh- nothing. Uh- Madam. Uh- Madam President. It was just a name they, um, called me. At the Academy. They thought I was wet.

ROMANA: Yes, I’m sure. Well, we all got unpleasant nicknames at the Academy. I got used to mine. Why didn’t you get used to Soggy-Boggy?

LEELA: I do not want him to find me. It is I who must find him. Am I so helpless? Yes. Here, in these stifling, sunless rooms of yours, perhaps I am. I have only one body. This one. I cannot change it. It will not wear your clothes, or walk your stilted pathways. I have only one voice inside me. This one. And my words can never be as clever as yours. I have only one mind, and it is steadfast, but small next to yours. I cannot grasp the games you play with people and their lives, and I do not wish to.

ROMANA: They’re not games I choose to play. I’m trying to defend myself. Trying to protect my world!

LEELA: Yes. It is your world, and not mine. Although I have lived here for many years, it has never been my home, and I am unhappy.

LEELA: I was so alone in the world of dreams when you left… The wildlands were dark and so quiet. I… I do not wish to be alone.

ROMANA: There will be a place for you with me. For always. Whatever face I wear.

LEELA: You have heightened olfactory senses?

ROMANA: Yes, I think so. Woah! They’re so strong! Each breath is like a blade in my breast! Clean, and sharp!

LEELA: Do I always speak in such plaintive metaphor?

ROMANA: It has a certain unpolished charm, does it not?

“Something of an irony, I always think, when a time machine is late arriving.”

“That's better. If we're all going to die, we might as well do it in piece.”

WYNTER: She says she has Matrix access codes from a high-ranking Time Lord. She hasn’t used them, I checked, but the codes are valid.

NARVIN: Who’s codes are they?

WYNTER: Cardinal Braxiatel’s.

NARVIN: Well, well, well. How very lax of Brax.

PANDORA: I shall use your hands to take Gallifrey apart stone by stone, and rebuild it in my image.

WYNTER: You won’t get my hands!

BRAXIATEL: Seems like cheating? You wouldn’t make the same mistake, I take it?

NARVIN: I wouldn’t cheat, as you put it. Yes, if it was a valid political point, I would make it. I wouldn’t hesitate to destroy you, Braxiatel, but for the right reasons. In the proper way. Because you deserve it. Not because you don’t.

BRAXIATEL: A nice distinction.

BRAXIATEL: Narvin. How do you do?

NARVIN: What’s this? You’re offering me something?

BRAXIATEL: Only my hand.

ANDRED: It’s a human custom. You say ‘How do you do?’ and clasp hands. A symbol of trust and friendship, apparently.

NARVIN: How uplifting. You’ll forgive me if I do not clasp hands with you, Andred.

LEELA: But I am not growing old.

ANDRED: No, you’re not. But I didn’t know that then. I didn’t realise that you are cursed just as we are.

LEELA: Cursed?

ANDRED: Living long enough to experience the consequences of our own actions down through the centuries. I wanted to change things, Leela. I wanted to make them better.

“I am still the Lord High President of Gallifrey, and it’s about time a few people learned to accept that fact! No more compromises, K9. From now on, things are going to be very different around here.”

“We learn from the mistakes of the past, Madam President. We have certainly learned a great deal from yours.”

K9: You are acting as the Madam President requested, mistress.

LEELA: I know that, and Romana is my friend, but… I cannot help wondering if Andred was right. She has brought many different tribes together in this school, and some have already proved that they cannot be trusted. Their hatred for Gallifrey and- and for each other stretches back many years. I fear it is possible to keep your enemy too close.

K9: Suggestion, mistress. Pull yourself together.

LEELA: Suggestion for you, K9. No more empathy, please.

ANDRED: Darkel has only tried to prevent this. She said from the start.

LEELA: She has spread lies and hatred. She has turned the students against each other. When I was their age, I would have torn out her hearts for what she has done to them with her self-serving speeches. Now, I say one thing to their faces and another when they cannot hear me. I am becoming a liar like you, and it disgusts me.

ANDRED: Sometimes we lie for what we think are the right reasons.

LEELA: I do not think you know what the truth is anymore. I don’t know who’s side you are on, Andred, but I am certain it is not mine.

“I mean, I’m trying my best to lead Gallifrey into the future. I’m trying to forge links with the other Temporal Powers instead of conducting ruinous wars against them. Darkel is determined to drag us all back to the old time. How can we go forward when she continually fans the flames of mistrust and paranoia? I’ve seen the future she’ll create, K9, I’ve seen the corridors of the Capitol awash with blood.”

NEELOC: Right! We’re the brightest minds in the Prydonian College. We’re following in the footsteps of the—

NEELOC, TAYLOR, GALADINA and B’ARECH: The Doctor.

TAYLOR: It’s always the Doctor with you.

NEELOC: Not just him. There were other people who broke away from Time Lord society, who went out there and- and did something!

B’ARECH: And in return, they’re vilified by the Gallifreyan establishment.

GALADINA: Some cases not without reason. The Master alone has been responsible–

NEELOC: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So some of them turned out bad. But the point is, they made a difference. And that’ll be us, guys! In a hundred years time, no one will care where we came from then! All that they’ll care about is that between us, the five of us, we’re going to make history!

“That's better. It was getting uncomfortable in that small mind of yours. I was always in you, Romana. We have the Imperiatrix Imprimatur from when I bonded with Pandora. She is all that is left of that line, just a ghost, but brimming with all that ambition and power. And she gave that to me.”

“Vengeance is the warrior's code. We are, both of us, warriors in our ways. But whereas you use the word in battle, I use the knife. Which of us is better served?”

“Yes, this is exactly what they have waited for. This is all my fault, Leela. I thought I could change things, but this society is too old, too ingrained in the way things are. The President's the one with the least power here. It's just a fancy title. I'm losing, Leela.”

“People are dead and you fight one another like animals. Is this what you want these terrorists to do to us? Violence upon violence, cutting and maiming, destruction and devastation until there's nothing left at all? There's nothing we can do for K9 or the others now. We can only pick up the pieces.”

“Andred. My husband. I have wronged you in my thoughts. I have made you my enemy when you needed me by your side. I am sorry. Do not worry. I grow closer to your killer and my blade will strike deep and avenge you. And then, then I may join you. For there is nothing for me here. And we will be happy once more.”

“I'm being set up! Again! It's obvious. Why would I help you if I was the terrorist? I'm being set up, I tell you. Surely even you can see that. You can't let her stab me, K9, it's not legal!”

“The Coordinator of the CIA does not ally himself with anyone. While the Madame President Romana is officially in office, I am, however, loyal to her.”

“Believe me when I say being close to you gives me no pleasure. I will not be in your way, but do not mock me. I am not Gallifreyan but that does not mean I am lower.”

K9: Suggestion. Use metal component as barter to obtain access to collected evidence from academy bombing.

LEELA: I do not think Narvin will barter this information.

K9: Then we will not give him our findings.

LEELA: K9, you are thinking like a Time Lord now.

K9: Compliments are unnecessary, mistress.

“We will bring about justice, not vengeance. I need your support leela, now more than ever. You and the K9s are my only friends here”

LEELA: Romana? Can you hear me? You must see if you can control this unit, or we shall be pulled to pieces. Romana? Romana? Romana!

ROMANA: Romana... Too many Romanas...

LEELA:Romana you must concentrate on my voice! We are being torn apart

ROMANA: Torn apart! Too many Romanas...

“I do not need eyes to see you are mad, assassin, but I will kill you if you strike at those I must protect. You find me funny metal voice? You think the blind stupid savage cannot kill you? You will not laugh at me! No-one will ever laugh at me!”

“I thought I was revenging myself on your world, Annos. Each act of destruction was sweet to me. The fall of each ancient monument was like a wound in the flesh of an old and bitter enemy. But it is I who have grown old and bitter, and your world rejoices at it. Annos, will you leave me please? I must grow used to my darkness.”

PANDORA: I'm thinking of the vidcast I will soon deliever. We can encourage her to speak of the atrocities she's commited in the name of Romana. Let the populus hear it and turn on her.

VALYES: Leela is loyal to the point of obsession. She won't easily be turned.

PANDORA: With a skilled interrogator - interviewer, I mean...

“The Outlands... always the biggest threat in my parents' arsenal. Behave yourself or we'll leave you in the outlands! And look what I was missing all those years by being good.”

ROMANA: This way, Leela.

LEELA: Why stay with me? You do not believe I can protect you any longer.

ROMANA: Our only exit leads onto the Outlands. How am I to survive there without you as my guide? Now, will you please take my hand, Leela? Thank you.

NARVIN: You're really loving this, aren't you?

LEELA: Bringing fire to these old dead places? Yes. It pleases me.

NARVIN: Didn't think it could be love for Romana that kept you here. After Andred's death...

LEELA: I am a warrior. At last, after so many years, your world offers me something I can understand. Battle, slaughter, the running of blood.

NARVIN: So many dead, and you welcome it.

LEELA: No! But I am ready for it.

“You are coming back with me, Romana. You are my friend! I need you.”

“Die Pandora! I hope you can feel pain for all the pain you have caused. Here! Is ! Our! Vengeance!”

LEELA: You are putting yourself in danger.

ROMANA: Yes, I'm fighting back. It's about time too. I'm going to have to use myself as bait.

LEELA: Then I will be there by your side to protect you.

ROMANA: Oh, I hope so. You being there is really rather vital to the plan.

PANDORA: It's in you. It's your DNA. You're mine. I need you. We are Pandora.

ROMANA: Too many Romanas... I'm...

PANDORA: Romana, Imperiatrix of Gallifrey.

ROMANA: I am Romana, President of Gallifrey.

PANDORA: But which one?

ROMANA: The winner.

NARVIN: What makes you think I'll listen to any of your lies?

DARKEL: Because we both believe in and are bound to protect the old Gallifrey. The proud upright Gallifrey before it was corrupted and broken by Romana. She destroyed my memories, my past, my home. I want it back. You, me, we're on the same side.

NARVIN: You made me think that last time too. I looked a fool.

DARKEL: That was largely your own fault.

ROMANA: I am fine.

LEELA: When a Time Lord says 'I am fine' it means they are not. Please, Romana, I am your friend. You can tell me what is wrong.

ROMANA: Friend? Thought I didn't have any. I can't afford to have any, especially in wartime.

LEELA: You are wrong. That is when you need them more than ever.

NARVIN: Leela, have you found K9?

LEELA: Thank you Narvin, I am fine. How are you?

NARVIN: I take it from your rather coarse sarcasm that you have.

“We've had our differences in the past, Romana but now you have my full support. If Darkel, after everything she has done... I would not in all conscience be able to support her term of office. If she attains the presidency, I shall resign.”

MATTHAIS: No, I told you, you must get me to the Panopticon.

LEELA: Matthais, I know about wounds and that burn-

MATTHAIS: Look, will you stop arguing, you stupid sa- I apologise, that was crass of me. You just saved my life. It really was an unforgvable thing to say.

LEELA: A man should wear his true colours. Why should I care that you show yours?

VALYES: Narvin? Oh, oh my dear chap. I do apologise. I thought your were an alien come to kill me.

NARVIN: I quite understand, sir. We all have days like that.

“I'm doing it all myself, receiving and redirecting. Leela finds it most amusing. She calls me a 'post boy'. I assume the inference is derogatory, but I suspect she doesn't full understand it herself.”

MATTHAIS: [Darkel] suffered a strange turn. Most probably faked but I had her sent to Elbon in the medical station just to be sure.

NARVIN: Romana will be pleased. Usually we send sympathies.

MATTHAIS: She does need my sympathies. She has Leela.

LEELA: So finally, the evil, twisted creature is gone forever.

NARVIN: And Darkel is dead.

LEELA: That is what I meant.

ROMANA: He means that they're busy with something urgent that's getting out of control.

LEELA: I know. I only say things like that to tease the guards, and also because it means they don't always take me seriously and say things I can hear, things they think I will not I understand.

ROMANA: You never cease to amaze me.

NARVIN: Leela cannot see, Cardinal, only hear. And her hearing is vastly better than your eyesight, I imagine.

LEELA: Yes, I- thank you, Narvin.

LEELA: Do what can we do?

ROMANA: I'd like to know what Matthais is up to. I thought he was on our side.

LEELA: Narvin says he is a politician so he is on no-one's side but his own.

ROMANA: Ah, but I am a politician too, Leela.

LEELA: That is alright. Narvin says it does not apply to you as you are so naive.

ROMANA: Thanks a bunch! Though he could be right. So you've been spending time with Narvin? You're keeping pretty dodgy company these days, aren't you Leela?

“I'm a spy, not a politician. That means even I don't know whose side I'm on.”

DARKEL: So is your argument that you are still president?

ROMANA: No, I-

DARKEL: In which case why are we having an election?

ROMANA: You know very well-

DARKEL: In which case did you resign?

ROMANA: Darkel, you are twisting-

DARKEL: In which case why was there no resignation speech? I'm told it is unheard of for a president to resign without naming their successor.

ROMANA: If you'll just let me get a word in-

DARKEL: Why no named successor?

ROMANA: Darkel!

LEELA: The time scoop has exploded!

BRAX: Ah, oh. Overloaded, actually. I told you it was second hand.

NARVIN: Wonderful. So what do we do now?

BRAX: Well, my lady?

LEELA: Romana?

K9: Mistress?

ROMANA: Right... what we're going to do is...

BRAX: Braxiatel. Irving Braxiatel. I was President of Gallifrey once.

ROMANA: Pah, only just. Who was it said, in the future everyone will be President of Gallifrey for all of 15 minutes?

“My back looks like a pin cushion the number of times I've been stabbed in it.”

“Captain Henzil! Henzil! I am an ex-president, get me out of here!”

“So much for non-intervention. Would anyone else care to join this conga over Rassilon's grave?”

LEELA: Perhaps I should clean our your ears with my blade.

K9: Be advised! Mistress Leela advocates unsafe medical procedure.

MATTHAIS: An Esquara-class Galaxy Slimskimmer, Coordinator. The limited edition, with ultrachrome attachments.

NARVIN: And go-faster stripes, yes. My Lord President, I have to tell you-

MATTHAIS: That Narvin, that spacecraft there, that was the topmost trump in the pack. Means nothing to you, does it?

NARVIN: My Lord President, please.

MATTHAIS: Stamps. I'd say stamps were your sort of thing, if you were ever a boy at all.

“Now this world is turned upside down and it is those once shining streets of that city that now smell of decay. If I could find any mercy in your end it would be this. That you never lived to see what has become of the Capitol you loved. To see the empire you gave your life to in ruins. Here, in the outlands, here is where this planet's future lies. Here with the sand beetles and dust worms, creatures the Time Lords could never believe have something to teach them, something of order and survival, of living with the planet, not feeding off it.”

LUCIE: All right, I'll say it, This is officially not what I expected my first alien world to be like. I thought there'd be less bodies in the street for a start.

THE DOCTOR: Fewer bodies, not less.

LUCIE: Whatever. Red Rocket Rising. Funny name for a planet.

THE DOCTOR: I've heard funnier.

LUCIE: Go on then. Make us laugh.

“Whatever - as Lucie Miller would say, but you were scared Martez might have somehow mobilised his mutant Daleks, weren't you? Afraid they might be a force to be reckoned with, hence the softly-softly approach. (Imitating a Dalek) "We have come to help. Fish and chips for all."”

DALEK: Describe him.

LUCIE: About the same age as me Dad.

DALEK: Be specific.

LUCIE: I don't know. About forty something. You know - old. But - he wears funny stuff, like ... like an old hippy, or, you know, something you'd see in some boring film. Long hair, velvet jacket, funny collar, big cravat, waistcoat. Probably thinks he's smart but looks like he's never shopped anywhere trendy in his life.

DALEK: All citizens of Red Rocket Rising will be watchful. If you see the Doctor, bring him to us, your new allies and friends...

THE DOCTOR: Sounds like they put you on a witness protection scheme.

LUCIE: Oh yeah.

THE DOCTOR: And dumped you on me. Oh, I should have known. Who else could have shot you right into the heart of my TARDIS? Who else could have erected a shield in the vortex itself to keep me from taking you home? (Louder) And who else would presume to meddle in my life like this?

LUCIE: Yeah, they said you'd get a proper nark on about it. I remember that.

THE DOCTOR: Well, I'm not going to stand for it. Take her away. Come on, if you can ... if you can go to all the trouble of breaking down the TARDIS's defences to dump her on me, you can lift her off this godforsaken planet with no trouble at all. Come on!

LUCIE: Danger, like this. It's one thing after another with you, isn't it?

THE DOCTOR: I don't go looking for trouble.

LUCIE: But it finds you, somehow, every time.

THE DOCTOR: That's true enough.

LUCIE: And me. What a pair we make, eh? Still, I'm glad I met you.

THE DOCTOR: I'm glad too. Now, give us a bite of that doughnut.

LUCIE: Well, I'm no expert, I'm new to this game, but even I know there's millions and billions of life-forms out there, Tommy.

TOMMY: Y-you're lying.

LUCIE: The Universe is teeming with life. It's like the Trafford Centre on Boxing Day.

LUCIE: What did you say it stood for again? Time And Relative Dimensions...

THE DOCTOR: Yes..

LUCIE: Time And Relative Dimensions In Shed.

THE DOCTOR: That is not what is stands for.

LUCIE: Yes it does. It's a shed.

“Daddy’s space-time manipulator is not a toy!”

THE DOCTOR: It's a distress call, and it's been waiting for some time. The TARDIS must have known I was busy.

LUCIE: (transmitter) Hello? Doctor?

DAPHNE: That's ... me, isn't it?

LUCIE: (transmitter) It's me. Lucie.

THE DOCTOR: With all due respect...

LUCIE: (transmitter) Lucie Miller.

THE DOCTOR: That is the real thing.

LUCIE: (transmitter) Don't know when, where you'll be receiving this. Maybe you've forgotten all about me, again. But you left this daft gizmo thing behind, so that I could call you if I needed help. Well, I do. We all do. The whole bloomin' human race is in real trouble.

ROMANA: I want to live, but not as I am. Not as the woman who put her home before her son. I want to look in the mirror and see someone else. Perhaps if I'd cared more for him than his reputation...

K9: Castellan K9, mistress.

ROMANA: Will you please deal with his delusions of grandeur, Leela?

LEELA: Castellan K9, as President of the High Council I relieve you of your command. From this moment, you will be only known as K9.

ROMANA I: It isn't much to show for a life, is it? But it's all I have left.

ROMANA II: Well, there must be something else, Romana. some unfulfilled ambition...?

ROMANA I: I don't know. I've never really thought about it.

ROMANA II: Well think about it now. A whole universe of opportunity is waiting for you. What have you always wanted to do, but couldn't?

ROMANA I: Well, travel, I suppose.

BRAX: All for one and one for all!

LEELA: It is just the five of us now, to make of this strange world what we can. To protect and respect and love each other.

ROMANA: Love?

NARVIN: After everything we've been through, it's obvious what we should have done a long time ago.

LEELA: It is our wish to be married.

ROMANA: What, you and narvin?

LEELA: Yes, and to share the rest of our lives in this magical paradise.

K9: This unit has been programmed to perform the ceremony.

ROMANA: How romantic...

BRAX: And, if i had a white charger, Romana, it would be my privilege to carry you off into the sunset.

ROMANA: Braxiatel!?

BRAX: Oh call me Irving, please, sweet lady. You must have suspected.

ROMANA: Well, no! Not really!

BRAX: Could you, somehow find it in your heart to grant me the enormous honour of taking your hand in marriage?

ROMANA: Uh... I'm not sure...

BRAX: Please, say you will.

ROMANA: Um, well, it's all so sudden, so unexpected!

BRAX: I'm sorry, but, have we met?

BENNY: Yes. But perhaps not yet.

BRAX: Ah. Then this is probably going to be one of those awkward converations where we don't know what to say or, what tense not to say it in. Are we going to be friends? I'm sorry, but it's best to be sure of these things.

BENNY: Absolutely. I mean yes. We are going to be friends. You came to my wedding.

BRAX: Will I? Well, how nice. Um, Irving Braxiatel, by the way - oh, but then, of course, you know that.

BENNY: Delighted to meet you. Again. I'm Professor Bernice Summerfield. But as you're definitely going to be my friend, you can call me Benny.

NARVIN: The selfish, old-

ROMANA: If he does survive, the universe will change to accomodate him. Timelines will flex and move. He'll just pick up where he left off. You know what he's like. What he was like.

LEELA: I shall miss him.

NARVIN: Me, too.

ROMANA: Really, Narvin?

NARVIN: I learned a lot from Braxiatel.

ROMANA: You're right. The selfish, old-

LEELA: Perhaps he will survive.

“Oh yes, I saved your life, Narvin. And what a trauma that's turned out to be!”

LEELA: Why would I kill you?

NARVIN: You tell me.

LEELA: You are annoying and conceited, and look down on me as a savage when I am not, but those are not reasons to kill you.

NARVIN: What are you doing? We don't have time for games.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: You should be dead.

NARVIN: Thank you, it has mentioned. Now where are you?

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: Here. Or here, perhaps?

NARVIN: Leela, stop being stupid - diffcult, I know, for you, but listen to me. If we wander around down here long enough, our presence will probably bring the whole roof falling down around our heads.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: I shall bring you down you traitorous wretch.

“Welcome to my world. The world of darkness and confusion where you are trapped with only yourself for company. You taunted me for living in a world of blackness and night; now that is your world too. You have strayed from the path in the jungle, where the monsters of imagination tread and there is no escape.”

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: President Romana wants answers, and I am the person who gets them for her.

LEELA: You have taken the dark path through the forest.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: It is a path I have found very rewarding. I have enjoyed taking it, just as I enjoy a challenge.

LEELA: You will not make me talk. I shall say nothing.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: You cannot keep secrets from me. You are no challenge at all, Leela. I know better than anyone how to make you talk.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: Look at you! All savagery and instict, just as I was, once.

LEELA: You?

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: But that was a long time ago. A little temporal tinkering, a few changes to my early life, like having to grow up without a father, and now look at me. Oh, I'm so sorry. Of course, you can't look at me, can you? I wonder how you lost your eyes...?

ANDRED: If you don't need me...

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: Squeamish as ever, Andred.

LEELA: Andred? Is that Andred?

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: I will see you later for some... private interrogation.

BORUSA: How is this possible?

LEELA: For my pulse to be different to yours? For my breathing to go faster? I am not of this world, Borusa. But my heart, my single human heart, it is willing to fight for the place that is now my home.

“The hound has fallen. Farewell, brave creature. May you hunt eternal in the wastelands of whatever afterlife you believed in. Farewell, Braxiatel. Again.”

LEELA: Narvin, truthfully. What difference would it make if I was no longer here?

NARVIN: Truly? Without you Leela, what do I have left? If Romana's dead-

LEELA: She cannot be dead.

NARVIN: No, but if she is, well. I can't survive like this. I need you to... to...

LEELA: Protect you?

NARVIN: Oh, stop enjoying this. I feel bad enough admitting it. We've already lost Brax, now Romana... you and I are all that's left of Gallifrey.

NARVIN: For the last time, Leela, slow down. I should have put you on a leash.

LEELA: I heard that.

LEELA: You have never really liked me, have you Narvin?

NARVIN: Not much. I think you'd agree we were thrown together. But Romana likes you. I suppose that's all I need these days. But I... um... I certainly respect you, Leela.

LEELA: Good. That is better than being liked. Thank you, Narvin.

LEELA: He will not leave us Romana. We are a team.

NARVIN: Sometimes, Leela, I really do hate you.

LEELA: I know. It is good to actually see you smile, Narvin.

BORUSA: What a fascinating creature you are.

LEELA: I am not a creature, or a pet. I am Leela, Warrior of the Sevateem.

“War should not be simple. War should be tactical and brave, fought with guile and cunning. Otherwise it is just a game for cowards and politicians, for those who pretend to know courage, but do not.”

LEELA: Romana, I am your friend, and as such, I must speak freely.

ROMANA: You always do.

LEELA: No. No, I do not, but you often believe I do. Rarely do I speak what is on my mind, for I do not always understand what it is that you and Narvin and Braxiatel are saying.

ROMANA: Well, I've always admired your turn of phrase, your direct approach. Your bluntness. I'm not sure how much more honest you could be.

LEELA: You are a fool.

ROMANA: Ah, well, okay. I wasn't expecting that.

LEELA: He was your friend, as I am, as K9 is, as Narvin is.

ROMANA: Good grief, if we've got to the stage where you think Narvin and I are friends, we really must be in an alternative reality.

LEELA: I will not sit and let you sulk any longer.

ROMANA: Did you just say your presdient was sulking?

LEELA: You are not my president, Romana. I doubt you are anyone's president any longer.

NARVIN: Madame President.

ROMANA: Narvin, I am, as has been pointed out by our friend here, no longer entitled to be called your President. Just Romana will suffice.

NARVIN: You are still my President, my lady.

ROMANA: Ah, that's more like it. Narvin and Leela at each other's throats, just like the good old days. Well come on then. If I'm going to keep you two in check, I'll need to talk to K9 about exactly what it is we're letting ourselves in for.

NARVIN: That was your plan to get her out and about again? Insulting me?

LEELA: It worked, did it not? Besides, insulting you is one of the few remaining pleasures I enjoy. You would not deny me that, would you?

LEELA: Did that scream not relight the fires in your hearts?

NARVIN: No, it terrified me. and before you get smart about it, yes I am a coward, and no I am not a warrior, alright? Have we successful established that?

LEELA: Fear not, brave Time Lord. Sightless Leela shall protect you from the shadows.

“As the destroyer of worlds... Lord Prydon sits inside your head, Lord Prydon lives among the dead...”

LEELA: No, Romana, I am not alright. I followed you to this world because I believed you would protect us. I watched as we lost Braxiatel and now we have lost K9.

ROMANA: We'll find a way back to him one day, Leela. I promise.

LEELA: No! No, your promises are just words like any other. They sound hollow and wrong. Tou know that he is gone now, just as I do, and that he can never return. I must go.

ROMANA: No, Leela, wait! We have to stick together!

LEELA: I will not let you lose me too. I can find my own way though the forest without your Axis or your portals or your eye. Goodbye, Romana, Narvin. We shall not meet again.

“I always wanted to be Rassilion and bring the power of time and space to Gallifrey, but if I can't do that, at least I can fulfil his real plan and save it. I leave this Gallifrey to you, Romana. Make it yours. Teach it your ways. Then, perhaps, my people can be Time Lords too, one day.”

“Leela, you are a wonder. I turn my back on you for a single span, and you organise an entire rebellion.”

ROMANA: I wonder what the odds are that every Narvin in the multiverse is power mad and unpleasant.

K9: I shall calculate.

ROMANA: Don't bother, K9. I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

“I don't like it, Narvin, but I've made a promise to people I care about. And if it means I have to rearrange the stars in every constellation from here to Alpha Centauri, then I will.”

“Whole civilisations lie im ashes because of what I've done. Fear me, Chancellor. Because I do.”

ROMANA: And not to put to fine a point on it, Chancellor, but as my second in command, you stand to gain the most from my death.

ALT NARVIN: Of course. But then, I assume that's why you married me. As your husband, I have nothing to gain from your death and everything to lose.

ROMANA: Oh, Romana...

LEELA: It is good to be free from those tunnels. Although I enjoyed learning that you have a fear of spiders.

NARVIN: Only six inch ones with fangs dripping venom.

LEELA: The poor creature back there was not more than the size of a baby's thumb!

NARVIN: Well, they look bigger when they fall on your face.

LUCIE: (transmitter) ... Don't know. Maybe I'll just give you this Interocitor gizmo thing and you can play back this message, and then you'll look all pompous and say something like, "well, what if I don't want you to travel with me any more, Lucie Miller?" And I'll give you a kick in the shins and you'll say, "Ow, that hurt," and I'll say "I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?" (Laugh.) Yeah. Maybe that's how it'll go. That's what I'd like, Doctor. That's what I really like.

(Rewinding.)

LUCIE: (transmitter) ... play back this message, and then you'll look all pompous and say something like, "well, what if I don't want you to travel with me anymore, Lucie Miller?" And I'll...

(Rewinding.)

LUCIE: (transmitter) ... then you'll look all pompous and say something like...

THE DOCTOR: Well, what if I don't want you to travel with me any more, Lucie Miller?

(Fast forward.)

LUCIE: (transmitter) I'll give you a kick in the shins and you'll say...

THE DOCTOR: Ow, that hurt.

(Fast forward.)

LUCIE: (transmitter) ... and I'll say "I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?" (Laugh.) Yeah. Maybe that's how it'll go. That's what I'd like, Doctor. That's what I really like.

DALEK TIME CONTROLLER: (speaker) You will surrender.

LUCIE MILLER: Not likely, mate. You come here, you mess up my planet, you mess up my life, and now you say you're going to kill the best bloke I ever met? You think I'm going to just, what, bleedin' surrender? Well, all I can say is you don't know me. You don't know me at all. And just in case you wanted to know who it was who blew you to pieces, the name is Lucie Miller. You got that? Lucie bleedin' Miller!

SUSAN: Nothing. Oh Grandfather, I've never told you how angry I was with you, did I? After we defeated the Daleks all those years ago and you left me here. Even though I suppose I thought I knew you'd never come back. All those years, I was cross that you said you would. I thought... I wish he'd just own up to himself that he never goes back, that he always just goes forward. But... well, you proved me wrong, didn't you?

THE DOCTOR: (laughs) Yeah. I did, didn't I?

SUSAN: Oh! Grandfather, you're back! Oh! I didn't think it had worked.

RACHEL: Counter-Measures has proved it has a purpose, but you can't tackle mysteries of this nature with a handful of squaddies and a couple of scientists on loan. This operation needs to be properly funded, properly resourced. We need our own HQ!

TOBY: We, Doctor Jensen?

ALLISON: Rachel?

RACHEL: If you can provide adequate facilities allowing me to continue my work on site, as it were...

TOBY: Ah, I think that can be arranged.

RACHEL: Then yes. Yes, I suppose it would be sensible for me to be involved on a more permanent basis.

ALLISON: Fantastic!

IAN: Welcome aboard, Rachel.

“This is wrong. Is Narvin untrustworthy? Often. A coward? I know of none finer. But an assassin..? I cannot believe it.”

LEELA: When we were in the Axis, things were clear. We were there to find a home; to save ourselves, if not our Gallifrey. But on that journey, I lost... everything. You were President on our Gallifrey; you are still a President now. For you, you have lost nothing.

ROMANA: Leela, wait! I'm only trying to do what's best for all of us. And you're wrong. I have lost a great deal. I have lost you.

ALLORA: So this is the Leela I've heard so much about. Not the quiet, reserved figure at the other end of the table, but the warrior with the famously sharp temper.

LEELA: You have no idea how sharp my temper can be.

ROMANA: You're our guest, Leela. And let me assure you that, for as long as I am President, you will always be welcome here in the Capitol.

LEELA: Do you say that as my friend or as leader of your tribe?

“She is a very powerful woman. I seem to surround myself with them these days.”

MARIS: I’m not happy about all this. I’m not cut out to be a spy.

NARVIN: Look we’ve been through all this. You’re not spying. You’re just keeping an eye on her for me.

MARIS: That’s a nice distinction you’re making. And I’m not sure it’s one she’ll understand.

NARVIN : Look all I want to know is that she’s safe and well. Not spying, keeping watch.

“I have seen this before, among the slaves of many worlds. When life has been very cruel, people will make themselves believe in any story. They tell themselves a tale about a better life, a life to come. That is what has happened here, I think. When people have lived lives of suffering, of pain, of course they will tell themselves that a better life is within their grasp. They need something to live for.”

NARVIN: Well Romana, I hate to say I told you so-

ROMANA: Please feel free not to in that case.

NARVIN: Knowing how the technology was acquired and the cost to those poor people, would you really want to use it?

ROMANA: You’ve changed. Once you’d have considered slaves beneath contempt.

NARVIN: Travel. Broadens the mind.

“You say tomato, I say genetically modified bioweapon!”

TURLOUGH: I tried to get back to the TARDIS, and I used that TARDIS tracker you gave me.

DOCTOR: Yes, yes –

TURLOUGH: And it pointed in three directions at once. I assumed it was just faulty.

DOCTOR: I built it myself.

TURLOUGH: Exactly

“Adric, meet a useless Time Lord. Useless Time Lord, meet Adric.”

“Are you awake? You took quite a knock on the head up there. Well, I can still feel your pulse, that's something. I don't know if you can hear me, but we're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. I've sent a communication back to the Capitol. They'll have a skimmer here soon. Can you manage a smile? You do have the most devastating smile, you know. But don't let anyone know I said that. Including you, it seems. Stay with me, Leela.”

“And that's another reason I'm glad I met you when I did. Because you've made me so much better over these past few years. The Narvin of today would never use the Oubliette, it's an abhorrence. A device of pure evil. But I needed you to show me how to be a better Time Lord. A better Gallifreyan. A better me. So, thank you.”

“And that, dear, sweet Leela, is how I first met your friend, the Doctor.”

“Now, as a member of the CIA, I am not particularly trained in negotiation. Or physical fracas. Or, frankly, deep philosophical discussions about the merits of temporal and causal reality and its effects on the Web of Time. What I am reasonably well trained in is being straightforward, blunt, and using the fastest solution. So, I took out my stasor and shot Riyan Tarth down.”

“Clever Doctor. I also wanted, at that moment, to punch him on the nose, which wasn't something I recall ever thinking about anyone in my life before. Clearly, he brought that out in people.”

“He reached back and put a finger on my lips. "But remember, don't speak. Let me do the talking. I'm used to all this kind of thing, you... you'll just mess everything up, knock pot plants over and generally embarrass us. Well, you. Embarrass you. I won't be embarrassed. I don't do embarrassed. Do I, Adric?" Adric gave a response that he absolutely didn't, but said it in a tone that suggested the Doctor actually embarrassed himself quite a lot.”

NARVIN: Well, yes, I suppose that was quite good.

DOCTOR: Narvin, I do believe you're blushing.

NARVIN: I can assure I'm not.

“And this is a heating module from the forthcoming CalAir GrillMaster Deluxe, re-engineered as a handgun. So don't follow me or I'll be forced to cook you”

“I can't be the only person with a functioning brain in the building surely? Do these idiots not understand basic science?”

NARVIN: Look at the whiteboard! Was that you who wrote that?

DOCTOR: Oh, that, yes, sorry... I noticed you'd made a couple of mistakes, sorry, I was trying to be helpful. You see, if x is defined as—

NARVIN: Helpful? I spent hours working through those equations.

DOCTOR: Probably why you got them wrong, I'm sure you were tired.

NARVIN: They weren't wrong! And what's that? Bottom left.

DOCTOR: Oh, that's just a risotto recipe that occurred to me while I was correcting your maths. I jotted it down so I

didn't forget it. Then I forgot it, sorry. Do you have a spare piece of paper? I could just copy it down.

DOCTOR: You know, I'm a little worried about the amount of anger you seem to feel.

NARVIN: You should be!

DOCTOR: Oh not for my sake, for yours, it can't be healthy.

“Look at the state of this place! Just look. You! Cleaner! Get in here! Do you have any idea what this lab is? The importance of the work I do here? My research is vital to the success of this company! If you've ever used a Caltron Air Oven – and who hasn't? – you've got me to thank! I designed the timing chip on the last five models! So next time you heat up whatever turgid ready meal people like you live off, remember that. And while you're remembering that, make a mental note to be as good at your job as I am at mine. Look at the state of this place! It's filthy! How am I supposed to do good work in here?”

RACHEL: Something terrible's got into you, but please. You belong with us.

IAN: Always. We're a team Allison.

TOBY: And we're never letting go.

RAYO: You could always help me feed the chickens if you like

NARVIN: Feed… chickens…? Right! Yes, of course. Happy to. Um… what am I meant to do exactly?

RAYO: Here, take a handful of seed. That’s it. now just scatter it in front of the coops. They’ll come to you

NARVIN: Right. (clears throat) Here, chicky chicky chicky!

RAYO: What are you doing?

NARVIN: Feeding them?

RAYO: Yeah, but… that noise you just made? What was that?

NARVIN: I thought that… perhaps… the chickens would like it?

VEEGA: Be careful, Leela.

LEELA: I shall.

VEEGA: You’ve been so good to us over the years.

LEELA: And you have been good to me. I will see you when we return.

VEEGA: Goodbye, Leela.

ROMANA: Kill every last person and Unity becomes just another dead rock. Like all the other dead rocks you've left in your wake.

DALEK: Negative. Unity is more than other worlds.

ROMANA: You mean it's your fuel source. And who's going to mine that fuel? There's a war on. You don't have Daleks to spare.

DALEK: We will spare enough lives to keep the mines in operation.

ROMANA: And who will shuttle the miners back and forth to the mines? Who will cook their meals? Who will look after their children? Who will sweep the streets, and wash the laundry, and fix the plumbing? Who will live?

DALEK: That is not our concern.

ROMANA: No, I thought not, somehow.

DALEK: Provide us with the location of your associates.

ROMANA: We've been here before though, and I will never betray those I love. Not ever. So what are you going to do about it?

DALEK: Exterminate.

DOCTOR: This could be an explanation for all that!

SKOLE: He does not seem to explain anything.