Search & filter every Whoniverse story ever made!
View stories featuring your favourite characters & track your progress!
Complete sets of stories, track them on the homepage, earn badges!
Join TARDIS Guide to keep track of the stories you've completed - rate them, add to favourites, get stats!
Lots more Guides are on their way!
Tags: Funny
Dugga Doo: Dugga Doo
Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Dugga Dugga
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la...
— The Interstellar Song Contest
SCOOT: Polish Polish
— Scoot the Polish-Bot, The Robot Revolution
They always found one another, didn't they? Romana, and Narvin, and Leela; always together in some combination. An enclave of familiarity against the vastness of time.
— The Questing Beast
DOCTOR: You always were a terrible judge of character. Look at me!
BERNICE: Happily.
DOCTOR: Have you had a good life?
BERNICE: All things considered.
DOCTOR: Quite. And you’ve just saved the universe again.
BERNICE: I have, haven’t I? Something to tell the cats when I get home.
DOCTOR: Cats, eh? Plural?
BERNICE: Plural.
DOCTOR: How many? Not too many?
BERNICE: No such thing. Oh, you’re going to love them. Come on.
DOCTOR: Back home?
BERNICE: And beyond.
— The War Master Part 2
Tags: Sad
RUBY: Gallifrey? And where's that?
DOCTOR: Gone! Ruby, it's gone. It's gone. They died. There was a genocide, and they died. So the one that was adopted was the only one left. I am the last of the Time Lords. And I am so, so glad to be alive.
— Space Babies
DOCTOR: Oh! Pssh! They are not time travellers. Excuse me. Time travellers are great. Like the best. Like, wow. This lot just bimble.
— The Church on Ruby Road
RANI: Years ago, when we lost Sarah-Jane, it felt like the story was over. And it was. But there are always other stories to be told. There are always more wonders to see, more friendships to make, and more injustices to be fought. Like Sarah-Jane always said.. Life on Earth is an adventure too. And it’s an adventure that never ends.
— Rani Chandra, The Ghost of Bannerman Road
LYDIA: Old Chunky Gilmore said you were the brightest young officer Sandhurst ever spat out. And he wasn't wrong.
— Lydia Kingsley, Rogue State
RAYO: You could always help me feed the chickens if you like
NARVIN: Feed… chickens…? Right! Yes, of course. Happy to. Um… what am I meant to do exactly?
RAYO: Here, take a handful of seed. That’s it. now just scatter it in front of the coops. They’ll come to you
NARVIN: Right. (clears throat) Here, chicky chicky chicky!
RAYO: What are you doing?
NARVIN: Feeding them?
RAYO: Yeah, but… that noise you just made? What was that?
NARVIN: I thought that… perhaps… the chickens would like it?
— Unity
VEEGA: Be careful, Leela.
LEELA: I shall.
VEEGA: You’ve been so good to us over the years.
LEELA: And you have been good to me. I will see you when we return.
VEEGA: Goodbye, Leela.
ROMANA: Kill every last person and Unity becomes just another dead rock. Like all the other dead rocks you've left in your wake.
DALEK: Negative. Unity is more than other worlds.
ROMANA: You mean it's your fuel source. And who's going to mine that fuel? There's a war on. You don't have Daleks to spare.
DALEK: We will spare enough lives to keep the mines in operation.
ROMANA: And who will shuttle the miners back and forth to the mines? Who will cook their meals? Who will look after their children? Who will sweep the streets, and wash the laundry, and fix the plumbing? Who will live?
DALEK: That is not our concern.
ROMANA: No, I thought not, somehow.
DALEK: Provide us with the location of your associates.
ROMANA: We've been here before though, and I will never betray those I love. Not ever. So what are you going to do about it?
DALEK: Exterminate.
RACHEL: Something terrible's got into you, but please. You belong with us.
IAN: Always. We're a team Allison.
TOBY: And we're never letting go.
— The Hollow King
NARVIN: Look at the whiteboard! Was that you who wrote that?
DOCTOR: Oh, that, yes, sorry... I noticed you'd made a couple of mistakes, sorry, I was trying to be helpful. You see, if x is defined as—
NARVIN: Helpful? I spent hours working through those equations.
DOCTOR: Probably why you got them wrong, I'm sure you were tired.
NARVIN: They weren't wrong! And what's that? Bottom left.
DOCTOR: Oh, that's just a risotto recipe that occurred to me while I was correcting your maths. I jotted it down so I
didn't forget it. Then I forgot it, sorry. Do you have a spare piece of paper? I could just copy it down.
— The Quantum Possibility Engine
NARVIN: I can't be the only person with a functioning brain in the building surely? Do these idiots not understand basic science?
— Narvin, The Quantum Possibility Engine
NARVIN: Well, yes, I suppose that was quite good.
DOCTOR: Narvin, I do believe you're blushing.
NARVIN: I can assure I'm not.
NARVIN: And that, dear, sweet Leela, is how I first met your friend, the Doctor.
— Narvin, Erasure
NARVIN: Are you awake? You took quite a knock on the head up there. Well, I can still feel your pulse, that's something. I don't know if you can hear me, but we're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. I've sent a communication back to the Capitol. They'll have a skimmer here soon. Can you manage a smile? You do have the most devastating smile, you know. But don't let anyone know I said that. Including you, it seems. Stay with me, Leela.
NARVIN: And that's another reason I'm glad I met you when I did. Because you've made me so much better over these past few years. The Narvin of today would never use the Oubliette, it's an abhorrence. A device of pure evil. But I needed you to show me how to be a better Time Lord. A better Gallifreyan. A better me. So, thank you.
HELEN: Sorry, you know the Doctor?
RIVER: Intimately. What’s he come as? The magician, the spiv, or the geography teacher?
— The Sonomancer
ALLISON: I've been taken prisoner many times. I'm giving this place three stars.
— Allison Williams, Changing of the Guard
DOCTOR: Charley, C'Rizz, Lucie, Tamsin, Molly. Friends, companions I've known, I salute you. And Cass, I apologise. Physician, heal thyself.
— The Night of the Doctor
DOCTOR: I walked away from the last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords.
I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained.
No time. No space. Just me.
I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man.
I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you will never understand.
And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze.
So come on, then. Take it! Take it all, baby! Have it! You have it all!
— The Rings of Akhaten
NARVIN: Well Romana, I hate to say I told you so-
ROMANA: Please feel free not to in that case.
— Evolution
LEELA: This is wrong. Is Narvin untrustworthy? Often. A coward? I know of none finer. But an assassin..? I cannot believe it.
— Leela, Emancipation
Not a member? Join for free! Forgot password?
Content