Skip to content
TARDIS Guide
captainjackenoch
he/him

captainjackenoch has submitted 51 reviews and received 70 likes

Showing 1 - 25 of 51 member's reviews

Review of Vampire Science by captainjackenoch

19 January 2025

This review contains spoilers!

I expected to like this more. I did not expect more than I got, though.

Vampire Science is a very neat, polished Doctor Who story. An interesting moral dillema, memorable characters and settings, as well as establishing and solidifying Sam and the Doctor's dynamic. I think it falls flat at the end, though.

I had expected more work be put into the ideas surrounding alternative food sources, and vampire biology. I got sort of confused around the point where Joanna and the Doctor turn on eachother, only to work together a few pages later. I was dissapointed that this novel ended in a big fight scene as opposed to scientific breakthrough.

I don't think Slake would become buddy-buddy out of nowhere just because he can get his food from somewhere else. I do think the ticking time bomb setup for a group of researchers is quite interesting. I just dislike the end.

(I also expected more extreme and interesting torture from Kate Orman.)

Overall, I just couldn't connect the way I wanted to connect. I wouldn't say it was a dissapointment, but I would say it wasn't what I had wanted. 3/5.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Cyberwoman by captainjackenoch

19 August 2024

IANTO #1! IANTO NATION FOREVER! I WOULD HAVE CONVERTED TONS OF HUMANS WITH YOU, AND KEPT YOU ALIVE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Out of Time by captainjackenoch

19 August 2024

I don't care about Owen Harper.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Doctor Who (The TV Movie) by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

I have so much to say about this film.

Cinema fr.

They got him like Markiplier and the LA Gangs.

In a feminist retelling, the Doctor takes on the role of the classic who female companion - For the majority of the film, he is tied up and screaming.

Eric Roberts is banned in the UK now.

Why is The Master just Satan???

He hated. that. wig. He hated it.

Now would you stand aside before he shoots himself?

His shoes.

They fit perfectly.

This launched the audio drama cinematic universe of 8 and Charley's insane situationship that ended in them both f**king dying. Think about that. THIS movie spawned the EDAs.

This is my all time, no contest, favorite bad movie. 100 shitty wigs out of 5 possible car chases.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Let’s Kill Hitler by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Really impressive to create something so bad that I nearly stopped watching this show altogether. I could not watch any more of 11's run after this.

I do find calling a fictional character, who is on the side of the heroes, a worse criminal than FUCKING HITLER, to be offensive and dumb. On top of that, if left alone in a room with Hitler, I would kill him with a hammer, I can tell you that much.

They don't even kill him. I'd give this episode a -50 if this site allowed me to.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Almost People by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Boring and made me look at Matt Smith's disgusting lizard face twice on the same screen. Booooooo


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Day of the Moon by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Why? Nooooo.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Impossible Astronaut by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Review of The Pandorica Opens by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Man, at least when Davies brought out all the recognizeable faces for one last parading hurrah, he managed to pull some emotional weight out of it.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Flesh and Stone by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

This is a really great episode that shows my main issues with the 11th doctor.

Everyone talks in quips. Bad biology, even by fantastical biology standards. The Doctor is getting credit for things that are not clever, at all. The Doctor kills like 30+ living things. Moffat, circa 2010, does not understand the scope of what death is. Things are done in stupid, boring and out-of-character ways for the sake of looking cool.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Lodger by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

James Corden you will pay for your crimes one day


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Eleventh Hour by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

I thought this episode was boring as sin when I was a kid and 11 was my favorite doctor based on cultural osmosis alone.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Empire of Death by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

This review contains spoilers!

The entire time I was watching this, I was either half asleep or grabbing my screen and screaming CARLA IS YOUR REAL MOM, YOU IDIOT!

Ncuti carried this episode. His preformance was gorgeous and emotional, and his scenes were the best scenes.

The resolution of Ruby's mother left such a sour taste in my mouth. How do you go from Church on Ruby Road to this? How do you go from the scene where she smashes that f**king iPad to this? How do you go from Carla saying she doesn't want Ruby to find her biological mother to this?

How do you undermine a black woman raising a child and doing all of the labor to placing the title of mother on a white woman who happened to give birth as a teenager?

Unrealistic, insulting, and downright boring. Actually despise this episode.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Legend of Ruby Sunday by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

This review contains spoilers!

Oh hey Sutekh, coo-

 

Why is UNIT employing children.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Rogue by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

If Rogue isn't Jack Harkness I'll eat a shoe. Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day <3


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Dot and Bubble by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Give Ncuti an oscar NOW. Absolutely fantastic.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Devil’s Chord by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

If you don't like drag, you will not like this episode. Thank god I love drag and hate The Beatles.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Space Babies by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Babies are cute! You guys are just mean


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Church on Ruby Road by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

I don't like Christmas stories period, but I thought it was cute. Loses a point purely for the goblin woman being the only one to sound like a human woman rather than a goblin woman.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Chimes of Midnight by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

She wasn't lying, those chimes really CAN midnight


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Dalek by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

This review has been flagged as inappropriate.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Idiot’s Lantern by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

Another episode I consider legitimately offensive. And on top of that, it's f**king mid.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of The Impossible Planet by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

In the top 10 of 2 parters, and no contest my favorite Tennant episode(s). Atmospheric, claustrophobic, immersive, and a true sight to behold. Adore it.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Love & Monsters by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

I think some of you guys are legitimately forgetting that this is first and foremost a show for the whole family, so it's going to look dumb and goofy sometimes. Idk I like it for what it is. Not a favorite or a classic or anything, but I liked it as a kid and I thought about the same now.


captainjackenoch

View profile


Review of Forest of the Dead by captainjackenoch

18 August 2024

I WOULD HAVE CREATED SO MANY TIME PARADOXES WITH YOU, AND KEPT YOU ALIVE FOREVER


captainjackenoch

View profile


Sorting and filtering coming soon!