A lovely little story with a, to borrow a word used in several of the other reviews, charming explanation for why the Doctor came to Earth! Although I will always believe that Susan was the one in love with the planet, this is just such a lovely backstory that I can't help but adore it. Great artwork, and a sweet little piece all around! 5/5, one of my favourites (:

Lovely artwork, the Doctor doing something sensible for once, really in-character mannerisms of speech (I could definitley hear 15's voice saying honey!), and a truly terrifying villain. An engaging story with a good pace that I very much enjoyed - 5/5

I am a horrible completionist.

This is one of the first things anyone who meets me will learn - I try to do everything. As a kid, I wanted to try every sport, win every competition, learn everything there was to know about the world - it's the ADHD, as I have now realised. It is, generally speaking, not a healthy way to live your life, and is something I have made great strides in changing about myself (though, the chronic fatigue did most of the work for me, if we're being honest). But, there is one stubborn shred of completionism left, and it will not let go - I have decided, ultimately, that as I cannot make it go anywhere, I may as well let it make itself at home.

That home is here. Welcome to my TARDIS.guide page, where I can quite literally track my progress in doing the impossible - I'm going to do all of doctor who! As Doctor Who very quickly spreads, like a sort of fungus, to encompass anything and everything in it's vicinity, calling this a 'herculean' task is an understatement. Perhaps now, finally, through this one indulgence, I can fulfill that childhood need to do everything.

Including, apparently, a ten second long clip of a worm being chased by some Daleks.

Now, at this point you must be wondering - why is ze still writing this. Where is this going. This feels more like an autobiography than a review. Well, the truth is, I have to write this! It's my homework! To scratch that horrible completionist itch, I asked Shauny to pretty please add this video (which he had initially not added because it is, quite literally, three Daleks chasing a worm and nothing else. For ten seconds). He kindly did this (super-fast, I might add!) upon my request, and then said, and I quote, "I want you to write a 200 word review of this masterpiece now". Well, after he so kindly accquiesced to my insanity, it seemed the least I could do.

So, without further ado... an actual honest to gd review of 'The Daleks Chase Walter the Worm'!

Although only ten seconds long, this video is a masterpiece in storytelling, visual dynamics, and expression. The story itself is simple: a worm, soon to become known to all true Doctor Who fans as a dear friend who makes an appearance in many a Dr. Men story, is being chased by three Daleks.

I would like to take a moment, if you will, to admire the composition - the shape of the fields, layered curves at sloping angles, create a wonderful impression of soft rolling hills, the subdued natural greens of the landscape and of Walter marred only by the harsh, unnaturally metallic Daleks. This creates a statement: the Daleks are out of place. They come in here with their great comic-bubble "EXTERMINATE!"s and their, their, their bumps, they harass the natives - they aren't supposed to be there. The story that is told through this composition and the uncannily smooth movements of the great metal beasts is one of imperialism, of colonialism, of everything that nature fears about man.

Walter is a victim of nazi oppression, so typically British - and who is helping him as he wriggles away, terrified, the emotion clear on his simply-drawn face? No one. Everyone says they would have helped hide the Jews, but they forget that it was ordinary people, people like them, who voted the nazis in - and it is ordinary people who are allowing the destruction of nature now. Who are feeding into the consumerist culture carefully curated by people who don't care about the damage they're causing, so long as they get rich. Who cares if we lose the rainforests so long as we can keep pulping out billions of shitty notebooks, right? Who cares if we don't have a planet to watch brilliant works of art like this on in a decade, if people are dying from wildfires and floods right now, as you are reading this, because, what, shrimp Jesus and being able to talk to simulations of popular characters was more important than human suffering???

Billionaire agendas funding industries like oil and AI are destroying our world and holding out a twelve-fingered hand, and you're eating right out of it's blurry palm! This is the palm of the Corporate! This is the palm of the 1% who take your jobs and stop you from getting healthcare and leave people to freeze to death to increase their bottom line and burn the planet!! If you really cared, if you really want to make a difference... you would help the worm.

Stop pumping money into Elon Musk's fortieth yacht and get involved in your local communities, fight back with kindness and solidarity, stand up when you see people threatened... don't be the sun, smiling on like nothing's happening. Ignorance is bliss, but you can't be ignorant forever. Not when a worm's life is in danger.

The lack of detail of the art allows the true horror the worm is experiencing to come through in an endless cycle, as the video is on a loop... that face, that face should haunt your nightmares. Contrasted with the playful, childish background of the smiling sun and the cartoon word bubbles of hate the Daleks spew, this video is nothing short of a masterpiece.

5/5

A more in-depth discussion took place in the discord while I was writing this review about the true nature and intent of the sun, smiling... malignant, ambivalent with a job to do, a bystander who did nothing to help Walter, or an innocent child with no understanding of the situation? For more conversations like this, please join the discord! Thank you to Sef, Owen, Delia, and everyone else who stopped me from going too far. This is surely a reasonable response to a ten second video of some daleks chasing a worm across a field.

I absolutely loved this story. I think there's a lot I didn't quite understand, but that's alright - I don't think it matters. I may not know what the thing in the woods is, or what it needed, but I do know what it's like to have a parent who thinks like Mads. And oh, what an excellent horror writer Dillon is! Can't wait to see more from him. A bittersweet kind of story that I'm sure I'll never stop thinking about - 5/5. Highly recommend.

Okay, I listened to this one pretty recently and I have some really strong (very positive!) feelings about it so, strap in, this is going to be a long, rambly ride... heavy spoilers, especially towards the end of this review. 5/5

The brutal arrest and interrogation of Nyssa hits hard in consideration of the terrible crimes committed by psychiatric institutions. The effects of conflict described in terms of ugliness and beauty is truly fascinating - with Briggs known as the voice of the Daleks, it's easy to forget that he can also be a fantastic writer. The idea of 'otherness' is heavily pushed here - anyone else who grew up on the sidelines, marginalised by your peers, feel really called out here?

I feel like this story managed a great balance of politics and morality - it's like, the effect of political decisions told through conflicted feelings, that just makes it hit much harder than if we saw the carnage from a wider, more outside perspective, and this really could have only been acheived with this innovative story structure. I found the structure really enjoyable, not at all confusing, and I think it allowed for a proper exploration of the Doctor and Nyssa's involvement in it all that would have been much more difficult/impossible if it wasn't told in this order.

In love with the way the story challenges the Doctor's role in the story - in all stories! The way he acts just as much of an all-knowing superior saviour as the Koteem do to the Veln, just because he has a cool ship (time travel) and a cool name and backstory (time lord, Gallifrey). This deals so well with the problem of the bystander... Usually, the Doctor arrives to save a race. But today, the races were already saving themselves, just not in a way that everyone could agree upon. As Nyssa said, they made no difference. They changed nothing. But I think, that's the point - they didn't have to. They can save themselves. They can make the choice, to live or to die, and that's their decision.
And in the end, isn't that all we want? That autonomy? Isn't that all that matters?

Pollution and oil & gas and global warming and capitalism's genocides and the saviour complex of the guilty party and the fact that in climate change we are not all in the same boat because some of us are in yachts.... damn this is a good story. "Ridiculed me in public, but took my money behind closed doors" HELLO!!! I just. I cannot say anything about this that isn't said in itself.

OMG IT WAS THEM. IT WAS THE TARDIS THAT CAUSED THE COLLISION. ALL THIS TIME THINKING THEY DID NOTHING AND IT WAS THEM. But of course, it could have been anything... It didn't have to be them, that's not the point, that's just the ironic icing on the cake. The point is that the Koteem did this to themselves, they used this oil and gas I mean dyestrial, they poisoned themselves, and then the captain took shortcuts that endangered the Veln's lives to save a few bucks, they did this to them, they did it... Never forget, it wasn't the Doctor that caused this all. It was greed. Capitalistic greed, plain and simple... Two whole species, destroyed... Because of capitalistic greed...

I cannot think of anything uglier.

I think we have a tendency to want things made by bigots to be bad, so that we are never inclined to say a good word about something so heavily involved with that person. That is why I went into this expecting - or perhaps, hoping - that I wouldn't like it. However, to my surprise, I am here today giving this story a 4/5. So, let's put aside the Baxendale bigotry for the sake of an honest review. Minor/vague spoilers; erring on the side of caution and spoiler-warning just in case.

At first, I wasn't enjoying the story much, finding it difficult to get into. The dialogue was fun and engaging, but other parts of the story felt a little clunky at times. The humour was very succesful at lightening the otherwise really quite disturbing situations, and I found myself laughing at every other line.

I found the part two cliffhanger disappointing, with no foreshadowing, and both the delivery of the line and the actual event being entirely obvious all of a sudden in a highly unsatisfying manner. There were parts of this audio that felt creepy in a sexual way. A bit needlessly - the whole thing with the cult and decay is plenty without adding perviness into the mix.

"Girl? A long time since I've thought of myself as a girl" For a transphobe, he sure writes some trans lines! I love the way Ace's militarisation, politics, and personal experiences of travelling with the Doctor have changed her gender, and the way this evolution has been shown in her last couple audios (such as in the Rapture, with this element being one of the many things I loved about that story!)

Not all of the technobabbly stuff made complete sense - I'm a little lost on things like how the skull became parachronic/how the Dark Flame reached Vilus Krull in the first place, but I don't feel like that lack of understanding impacted my view of the story.

Both Sylvester and Bowerman's performances in this one were truly terrific, and I think this is the seventh Doctor at his best... His speech about how the flame was just an unthinking power, manipulated by a coward, was exceptional. Quite a neat ending. A dark story with a more or less happy ending; a treat to listen to. 4/5.

Heavy spoilers, heavy disappointment. 1.5/5.

Okay so, you know going in that you're not going to like this one. It's famously terrible. I'm sure that the reputation influenced my thoughts, but here they are anyway.

Right from the get-go, the stuff about the evil Company? Nice. Always a fan of evil, nameless Companies being in Who stories. But, the, ahem, problematic aspects of this story started early too - the cannibalistic necromancer witches certainly had me raising an eyebrow. Then, Peri, naked and drugged... the women felt like they had little to no personality, and then... there it was. The Scene everyone warned me about. It was very clear why Davison requested that this writer never be re-hired. Unlike with Colditz, where nazi-Tennant threatened Ace in a very disgusting way, this really did not serve a purpose to the story at all. It was out of place and entirely gratuitious - this scene should never have made it to production, and honestly made me feel sick.

The story felt quite fragmented from scene to scene; not easy to follow at all. I still don't understand the plot - for context, every Big Finish audio I have listened to in the last year, maybe year and a half, I have written the plot summary for if it didn't already have one on Tardis.wiki/wiki. But this one was so unfollowable that I could not write a summary. I did not understand what was happening half the time - although I now understand it a little better, thanks to the excellent plot summary at doctorwho.guide.

It could have been worse - at least 5, Peri, and Erimem weren't always totally out of character, and there was a plot that was sometimes, very occasionally, possible to follow. Plus there were some cool ideas (such as the time loop), even if they weren't utilised particularly well. But yeah, still pretty bad. I couldn't follow what was happening with Shara, or what the relic was, or who in the company was doing what, or how the doctor came back to life.

Giving it 1.5/5. The music was nice.

"You shall be the one to bring the Other" I got so excited for a second there 😭 do not be fooled, they're not talking about The Other. I know, I was disappointed too.

OMG OKAY I LOVE THIS ONE TO BITS. 5/5, one of my favourite Who stories ever - this is going to be a long one. Buckle up buttercups; we're unpacking British nationalism.

This whole audio is a truly chilling exploration of British nationalism and xenophobia, showing them as the horror they are; I am never getting over how incredible this audio is. I can very much see the later Dalek story in this - the roots are clear. I think this might even have 'Dalek' beat for me. I enjoyed the slower pace at the beginning. Also, I am tone deaf so I might be wrong hear, but, was the theme music thingy in a minor key?? Beautiful. Obsessed.

I really don't think I can say anything more than the audio said itself: we are become a culture based on hatred and humiliation. We create what we mock; we turn ourselves into monsters by mocking our fallen foes. The term 'stormtrooper' is even used - I guess we're forgoing any semblance of subtlety in the whole "Brits as Nazis" thing then. This isn't a bad thing, though - I like the heavy-handedness of it all. The free will as an alternative to power was fascinating and a very moving argument, and I feel like this story was finally asking the big questions about conquest and war and fascism and Daleks that we've all been waiting for. This is definitely the most interesting exploration of Daleks and their role in Doctor Who that I've ever seen - the return to their roots as nazis, plain and simple, was much appreciated. Go off Rob Shearman, you will always be famous.

Miriam, so desparate for a man to control her that she'd even kill her own husband - the whole audio was a very accurate portrayal of ingrained societal misogyny, especially of internal misogyny. The repeated line about needing a man who hits "hard enough to break the skin" has really stuck with me.

I really didn't think you could do anything new with people being two places at once in doctor who until I listened to this audio. The height of innovation and creativity. I think the moment that stood out to me most was when all the humans started chanting "Exterminate!". Chilling. Feels far too close to home.

Hell yeah suicidal last Dalek alive with no purpose mirroring the Time Lords/Doctor just like in 'Dalek' - Sherman was COOKING. WHERE ARE MY ORDERS. I am a Brit; tell me who to hate. I am a Time Lord so I am a Brit so I am a Dalek and as the last one left I deserve this hate, I get to commit these horrible atrocities because I am the most powerful and the only worthy; I hold the beliefs of all those who died before me. F*ck this goes hard.

I'd also like to single out two more lines - "your information is worthless" was the Daleks quite literally refusing to learn from history. Also, from my notes, "omg omg "the Daleks can only survive if they die" holy s**t" - clearly, I was very excited about the resolution! And I can see why past-me was obsessed with this ending. Fascism is unsustainable, and a self-contradiction - it collapses in on itself. It devours everything, including it's own proponents. The paradox of totalitarianism.

A wonderful focus on the 'soldierification' of companions - always one of my favourite ideas! We love traumatising our favourite companions!! And with the Dalek having empathy for the Doctor's compassionate companion who just believes in doing what's right - again, I can really see how this became 'Dalek'. Evelyn/Rose challenging the Doctor's pre-conceived notions so brilliantly... she just makes such a truly perfect foil to the Doctor.

I have to admit the whole "two times fusing together" thing wasn't the most well thought-through explanation I've heard, but the emotional and political side of this audio far make up for it. That's what's important anyway; the exploration of our colonialist society and it's misogynistic and fascist core, not the technobabble!

A wonderfully terrifying display of madness, of government, of blaming your personality on larger forces to escape the blame you fear will make you mad... I just feel like I cannot make any observations here that the audio didn't say explicitly itself. I have nothing to add. It's just such an incredibly written story. I feel like this should be required reading (or, uh, listening) for learning about democracy and fascism, right alongside things like 1984 and Animal Farm. A 5/5 story that I recommend to anyone who can take listening to Britain's descent into fascism. It is a truly horrific story that hits far, far too close to home for comfort, but that's the point. It's not supposed to be comfortable.

We can never allow ourselves to become comfortable with fascism.

Feel sick rn, need him back (Robert Shearman)

I was not a fan of this one, and gave it a 2.5/5. Minor spoilers throughout.

I found the parody to be veering between fun and mean-spirited and the attitude of the audio felt rather nasty towards Star Trek and the other parodied shows and events. I am not sure if that was the intention, but it was how it came across to me. However, it was easy to listen to/follow, the pace wasn't too fast. I found the critique of technobabble surprisingly engaging, though it sadly didn't last long.

The murderer was very obvious and, as the mystery was all there really was, it left the audio a little empty. Still, it was fun to listen to, so still worth it I suppose. The ending that was supposed to be a twist was also very expected - though, the Earth national anthem being I Will Survive was a stroke of genius. Lovely ending for Eleanor!

I can understand why some people like this audio, but it really wasn't for me.

A wonderful 5/5 story for me, a real treat that I highly recommend! A minor spoiler in the second paragraph.

I felt I learned a lot about the era. The dialogue felt natural, and I was able to follow what was going on perfectly well, both in terms of the clarity of the plot and the quality of the sound of the voices. I also enjoyed the characters' sniping at each other, and how many were not very likeable. There was definitely a sense of, "he was an idiot, but he was my idiot" that was right up my alley.

Everyone being captured and then escaping and the confusion about who needed to be rescued and all that felt very Classic Who (stares pointedly at The War Games), and the tone just really felt right. The whole thing just worked very well.

One minor thing is that there was a historical innacuracy - Villiers was never the prime minister! That role did not exist at that time! Also, the Château de Brou was not built by 1626 (when the audio took place), but at least a couple decades later. Furthermore, "Richelieu" was apparently being mispronounced - my dad made me put this in. I did not know any of this while I was listening and so did not care; even in hindsight, knowing all this now, it really does not affect my view of the story much, if it all.

Finally, just something I found funny - everyone had very English accents, but then talked about Buckingham sounding foreign for being English😂

A really solid historical that was fun all the way through, and that I highly recommend!