“I say, what a wonderful butler. He's so violent.”

“Would you mind not standing on my chest? My hat's on fire.”

“This is ridiculous! How can you go from plenty of time to running out of time in no time at all?”

“So, that's the trap. Or the test, or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her. Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her.”

K9: Something has happened to Leela. Apparently, she has vanished. Literally.

ROMANA: When you say literally, K9, I assume you’re not talking figuratively. I find people who use the word literally when they don’t mean it literally very annoying.

K9: Leela has literally vanished, mistress.

DOCTOR: What do you think of that now, eh? A Viking helmet.

STEVEN: Oh, maybe.

DOCTOR: What do you mean, maybe? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?

(The Doctor and Rose talk about an asteroid named Gavin that will hit Earth in 900 years)

DOCTOR: 900 years from now Gavin will hit Uppsala. Ever been? A little city in Sweden. They have a nice bookshop there.

RICHARD: I am the King. Where is there any man who has greater power over his subjects?

JOANNA: In Rome. His Holiness the Pope will not allow this marriage of mine to that infidel.

RICHARD: But, Joanna? You defy me with the Pope!

JOANNA: No, you defy the world with your politics! The reason you and all your armies are here is the reason on my side. You are here to fight these dogs, defeat them. Marry me to them and you make a pact with the Devil. Force me to it and I'll turn the world we know into your enemy.

ROSE: What've you been doing? Where've you been?

DOCTOR: Well, among other things, I think just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early. Do you know, they've never even seen a banana before. Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.

(The Doctor turns toward the Clocwork Droids)

Doctor: Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, brilliant. It's you. You're my favourite, you are. You are the best! Do you know why? Because you're so thick. You're Mister Thick Thick Thickity Thick Face from Thicktown, Thickania. And so's your dad.

DOCTOR: It's back on the ship. Rose, take Mickey and Arthur. Get after it. Follow it. Don't approach it, just watch what it does.

ROSE: Arthur?

DOCTOR: Good name for a horse.

ROSE: No, you're not keeping the horse.

DOCTOR: I let you keep Mickey. Now go! Go! Go!

SERVANT: Who the hell are you?!

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour. Ha, ha!

DOOM: Are you serious? I swore an allegiance.

DOCTOR: To whom? The Revenant? Coldstream? Oberon?