DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?

ROSE: Rose.

DOCTOR: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!

“One day, I shall come back — yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, Susan, goodbye, my dear.”

“They're coming. They're coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.”

SARAH JANE: Doctor, you're being childish.

DOCTOR: Well of course I am. There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

“When did you last have the pleasure of smelling a flower, watching a sunset, eating a well-prepared meal?”

“You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”

“We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?”

“Courage isn’t just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.”

“Never be cruel. Never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.”

“Every great decision creates ripples, like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge and rebound off the banks in unforeseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences.”

“A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.”

“You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies.”

“The least important things, sometimes, my dear boy, lead to the greatest discoveries.”

“Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.”

“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.”

“I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren’t there.”

“Do you know what thinking is? It’s just a fancy word for changing your mind.”

“There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. They must be fought.”

“Of course we should interfere. Always do what you’re best at, that’s what I say.”

“History sometimes gives us a terrible shock, and that is because we don’t quite fully understand. Why should we? After all, we’re too small to realize its final pattern. Therefore don’t try and judge it from where you stand.”

“Answers are easy. It’s asking the right questions which is hard.”

“I don’t believe that man was made to be controlled by machines. Machines can make laws, but they can not preserve justice. Only human beings can do that.”

“Our lives are different to anybody else’s. That’s the exciting thing. There’s nobody in the universe can do what we’re doing.”

“You know how it is; you put things off for a day and next thing you know, it’s a hundred years later.”

“Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.”

“An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?”

“When you get back to Skaro, you’ll all be national heroes. Everybody’ll want to hear about your adventures. So be careful how you tell that story, will you? Don’t glamourize it. Don’t make war sound like an exciting and thrilling game. Tell them about the members of your mission that will not be returning. Like Maro, Vaber and Marat. Tell them about the fear. Otherwise your people might relish the idea of war. We don’t want that.”

“Happiness is nothing unless it exists side by side with sadness.”

“I don’t make threats, but I do keep promises.”

DAN LEWIS: I've only been back a month, and I've got to say, I'm glad I'm not on the verge of being exterminated any more. But I do miss her.

IAN CHESTERTON: Sorry. Did you say her?

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.”

“Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.”

DOCTOR: How much are they paying you?

ROSSINI: Come, come, Doctor. Gentlemen don't discuss money.

DOCTOR: Nonsense, gentlemen never talk about anything else.

“Ace, give me some of that Nitro Nine that you're not carrying.”

JOSIAH: You're so smug and self-satisfied, Doctor.

DOCTOR: I try.

SETH: If we don't pay tribute, the Nimon will destroy us.

ROMANA: Sounds like an insecure personality to me.

SETH: He lives in the power complex.

ROMANA: That fits.

“Let me tell you, sir, that I'm in full possession of all my faculties. After all, if I was suffering from amnesia, I'd be the first to know about it, wouldn't I?”

“Hello, I'm the Doctor! I believe you want to kill me.”

“But the final responsibility is mine, and mine alone. Listen, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child?”

“Just touch these two strands together and the Daleks are finished. Have I that right?”

“I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it. Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet, without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day. One day.”

IAN: Susan Foreman? She your problem too?

BARBARA: Yes.

IAN: You don't know what to make of her?

BARBARA: No.

IAN: How old is she, Barbara?

BARBARA: Fifteen.

IAN: Fifteen. She lets her knowledge out a bit at a time so as not to embarrass me. That's what I feel about her. She knows more science than I'll ever know. She's a genius. Is that what she's doing with history?

BARBARA: Something like that.

“There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do!”

ACE: Master? Who's he?

DOCTOR: An evil genius. One of my oldest and deadliest of enemies.

ACE: Do you know any nice people? You know, ordinary people, not power-crazed nutters trying to take over the galaxy?

“Oh, I know how many beans make five, Doctor, and you don't have to be a Time Lord to cope with A level maths. It may come as a surprise to you, but I also happen to like teaching.”

“Now I'm not going to sit here like a spare lemon waiting for the squeezer.”

“The point of archaeology is to carefully recover the past, not disintegrate it.”

COLBY: There's a corpse by the wood.

FENDELMAN: What sort of corpse?

COLBY: A dead one. What other sort is there?

“You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the arts, the gentle art of fisticuffs.”

ACE: We did good, didn't we?

DOCTOR: Perhaps. Time will tell. It always does.

ROMANA: Yes, they taught me at school how to stop my hearts.

TYSSAN: Hearts? How many have you got?

ROMANA: One for casual, one for best.

MASTER: I know this is going to be hard to believe, Doctor, but for once I mean you no harm.

DOCTOR: Like Alice, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast. Go on.

DOCTOR: I feel disorientated.

SARAH JANE: This is the Disorientation Centre.

DOCTOR: That makes sense.

ACE: Professor. Where's Nimrod?

DOCTOR: Gone to see a man about a god.

KLIEG: Yes, yes, I can see that, but how did you know in the first place?

DOCTOR: Oh, I use my own special technique.

KLIEG: Oh really, Doctor? And may we know what that is?

DOCTOR: Keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut.

LAURENCE: How could you possibly know that?

DOCTOR: Well, you see, Mister Scarman, I have the advantage of being slightly ahead of you. Sometimes behind you, but normally ahead of you.

LAURENCE: I see.

DOCTOR: I'm sure you don't, but it's very nice of you to try.

DOCTOR: The Earth isn't my home, Sarah. I'm a Time Lord.

SARAH JANE: I know you're a Time Lord.

DOCTOR: You don't understand the implications. I'm not a human being. I walk in eternity.

SARAH JANE: What's that supposed to mean?

DOCTOR: It means I've lived for something like seven hundred and fifty years.

SARAH JANE: Oh, you'll soon be middle aged.

SPANDRELL: I think you're going to be executed for it. They are preparing the vaporisation chamber now. You have about three hours to live, Doctor.

DOCTOR: What? Well, that's monstrous. Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution.

“An apple a day keeps the, er... no, never mind.”

BRIGADIER: A few months ago, the superpowers, Russia, America and China, decided upon a plan to ensure peace. All three powers have hidden atomic missile sites. All three agreed to give details of those sites plus full operational instructions to another neutral country. In the event of trouble, that country could publish everyone's secrets and so cool things down. Well, naturally enough, the only country that could be trusted with such a role was Great Britain.

DOCTOR: Well, naturally, I mean, the rest were all foreigners.

“I say, what a wonderful butler. He's so violent.”

“E-space is another universe. There isn't a taxi service goes back and forth.”

“Rash action is worse than no action at all, hmm?”

GRIGORY: Instant death doesn't bother me. It's the long lingering kind I'm worried about. You forget I'm a doctor. When they slice me open, I'll know the name and function of each organ that plops out.

NATASHA: Well, at least you won't die in ignorance.

“That's the trouble with computers. Always think in black and white. No aquamarines, no blues, no imagination.”

SIXTH DOCTOR: Angel to the left of us, angel to the right

TENTH DOCTOR: Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

“You know, you're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.”

DAVROS: The Daleks shall become Lords of Time! We shall become all-

DOCTOR: - Powerful. Crush the lesser races. Conquer the galaxy. Unimaginable power. Unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.

“You, Sir, are a NITWIT!”

“Would you mind not standing on my chest? My hat's on fire.”

DOCTOR: The Daleks have failed! Why don't you finish the job and make the Daleks extinct. Rid the Universe of your filth. Why don't you just die?

DALEK: You would make a good Dalek.

“Fear makes companions of all of us.”

FIRST DOCTOR: There is good and there is evil. I left Gallifrey to answer a question of my own. By any analysis, evil should always win. Good is not a practical survival strategy - it requires loyalty, self-sacrifice and love. And so, why does good prevail? What keeps the balance between good and evil in this appalling universe? Is there some kind of logic? Some mysterious force?

BILL: Perhaps it's just... a bloke.

FIRST DOCTOR: A... bloke?

BILL: Yeah! Perhaps it's just some bloke, wandering around, putting everything right when it goes wrong.

FIRST DOCTOR: Well, that would be a nice story, wouldn't it?

BILL: That would be the best.

“I've seen entire species destroyed, civilisations left in ruins. I've witnessed solar systems vanish in the twinkling of an eye. I've seen things that would freeze your blood. So don't threaten me, don't ever threaten me.”

“Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?”

DOCTOR: Your race is dead! You all burnt, all of you. Ten million ships on fire. The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second.

DALEK: You lie!

DOCTOR: I watched it happen. I made it happen.

“I've finally run out of corridor. There's a life summed up.”

“I'm a doctor. But probably not the one you're expecting.”

OHILA: We restored you to life, but it's a temporary measure. You have a little under four minutes.

DOCTOR: Four minutes? That's ages. What if I get bored? I need a television, couple of books, anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.

“Charley, C'Rizz, Lucie, Tamsin, Molly. Friends, companions I've known, I salute you. And Cass, I apologise. Physician, heal thyself.”

DOCTOR: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

AMELIA: Yes.

DOCTOR: Everything's going to be fine.

“All of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will. Where do you want to start?”

AMY: I'm fine. It's just, there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought. Well, I started to think that maybe you were just like a madman with a box.

DOCTOR: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me, because it's important, and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box.

“Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody lives!”

“If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?”

“I'm so pleased to finally see you. I'm the Doctor and I will be your victim this evening. Are you my mummy?”

“Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. But you still have to choose.”

“You feel that pounding in your heart? That tightness in the pit of your stomach? The blood rushing to your head, do you know what that is? That's adventure. The thrill and the fear, and the joy of stepping into the unknown. That's why we're all here, and that's why we're alive!”

“I’ve been too methodical recently, I think. Setting coordinates and things, actually deciding where we want to go. I’ve been getting far too safe and predictable these last few incarnations. Do you know I once traveled for centuries without ever knowing where I’d materialize next?”

“I was once a man with a masterplan. I’d seek out injustices, topple governments, all in the name of the greater good. I’d started doing the maths, you see…. This is how evil starts, with the belief that the ends justify the means. But once you start down that road, there’s no turning back. What if you can save a million lives, but you have to let ten people die, or a hundred, or a hundred thousand. Where do you stop?”

ROSE: You think you're so impressive.

DOCTOR: I am so impressive.

ROSE: You wish.

ROSE: They all speak English.

DOCTOR: No, you just hear English. It's a gift of the TARDIS. The telepathic field, gets inside your brain and translates.

ROSE: It's inside my brain?

DOCTOR: Well, in a good way.

ROSE: Your machine gets inside my head. It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask?

DOCTOR: I didn't think about it like that.

DOCTOR: You think it'll last forever, people and cars and concrete, but it won't. One day it's all gone. Even the sky. My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before its time.

ROSE: What happened?

DOCTOR: There was a war and we lost.

ROSE: A war with who? What about your people?

DOCTOR: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own 'cos there's no one else.

ROSE: There's me.

“Now, don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium.”

WAR DOCTOR: You're my future selves?

TEN & ELEVEN: Yes!

WAR DOCTOR: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Okay. Gentlemen, we're ready. Geronimo!

TENTH DOCTOR: Allons-y!

WAR DOCTOR: Oh, for God's sake. Gallifrey stands!

“I just want you to know there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. And for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.”

“I'm going to get killed by a Christmas tree!”

DOCTOR: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown in the air and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed forever!

DOCTOR: Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.

RIVER: Does sarcasm help?

DOCTOR: Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did?

“Okay. Name - the Doctor. Occupation - not a doctor. Current status - just passing by. Employer - myself. Address - that blue box over there. Now, if you don't mind, I just got snowmanned, and I would like to go home.”

“Bad luck. Ever since that day, it's never stopped. I've been hit, I've been thrown, I've been bumped. I fell off a boat on dry land. I've been in accidents, collisions. I've even been trampled by a moose! And I can't help thinking it all comes back to when I met you.”

“This is a brand new science for me, and I love it. The language of luck. Cos what is a coincidence but a form of accident? Two things bumping together unexpectedly. Like you and me.”

“Oh! Pssh! They are not time travellers. Excuse me. Time travellers are great. Like the best. Like, wow. This lot just bimble.”

“I've given up on that cuppa and opted for a life of abstinence.”

DOCTOR: It's not magic. It's a language. It's a different form of physics.

RUBY: Yes. Like magic.

MASTER: The title you chose: Doctor. Now, it’s not just a man of healing. It means “teacher”. It means “tutor”. Whereas I am a Master. We both want to change the universe, to make it better, it’s only the scale of our ambition separates us.

DOCTOR: What are you saying? You’d like to have been a Doctor but you didn’t have the patients?

DOCTOR: We’ll have the door open in a jiffy.

LIV: Except we still don’t know what’s out there.

HELEN: Please be careful!

DOCTOR: Are you scaredy cats?

HELEN: No

LIV: Just sensible

DOCTOR: Oh come on, we could sit here all day being sensible, we’d still be here next week, filling out risk assessment forms. And how boring would that be?

“But you can't rewrite history! Not one line!”

CALDWELL: Are you some kind of scientist?

DOCTOR: I'm every kind of scientist.

ELLIE: I don’t quite see why I should be answering questions from an interloper. And anyway, you’re mistaken.

SIXTH DOCTOR: Oh, I’m afraid that won’t wash. I can assure you that if you knew me well enough you’d know that I’m hardly ever mistaken!

SIXTH DOCTOR: When it comes down to it I’m a bit of a know-it-all really. Androids, Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarans, Ice warriors, you name it I can quote you chapter and verse. Need I go on?

ELLIE: I have a feeling you’re going to.

SIXTH DOCTOR: I think we’d better make ourselves scarce.

SEVENTH DOCTOR: Quick, over here! Argh! You’re on my foot!

SIXTH DOCTOR: Well shift up a bit! For someone so short, you’re taking up a lot of room.

SEVENTH DOCTOR: No comment.

FIFTH DOCTOR: Will you two keep quiet!?

“Azimendah, you're an android pilot with a spotless record. I'd trust you to fly me stark naked through a cheese grater. It's your show.”

DOCTOR: The King's just died. How very convenient.

TURLOUGH: Not for him.

DOCTOR: But I don't exist in your world!

LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you.

“You know, madness is the first sign of talking to yourself.”

““It’s mostly a whiff I get. Evil, pure evil. When you’ve been after it as long as I have, it starts to feel like a bad stench in the air. And this city is filled with it.””

““It’s not just the TARDIS that has relative dimensions, Ace, but the societies that we visit, too.””

“Isn't' it a better thing to travel hopefully than arrive?”

ROSSINI: (Italian) Who the heck are you? Well?

MASTER: I am usually referred to as the Master.

ROSSINI: Oh? Is that so?

MASTER: Universally.

JO: It's all right. I've dealt with it.

DOCTOR: Dealt with it? You've ruined it!

JO: But your bench was on fire.

DOCTOR: Three months delicate work and now look at it, you ham-fisted bun vendor.

JO: But this whole place might have gone up in flames.

DOCTOR: My dear young lady, steady state micro-welding always creates more smoke than fire.

JO: A translucent polyhedron, eight and a half inches in diameter.

(The Doctor grabs the file.)

DOCTOR: Well, that's the Nestene's energy unit. It should never have left this building.

JO: Apparently they wanted it for a special display. The Brigadier signed the authorisation.

DOCTOR: The Brigadier's an idiot!

“Nonsense. What you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw herself so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes and to tell you how brilliant you are. Miss Grant will fulfil that function admirably.”

“This is ridiculous! How can you go from plenty of time to running out of time in no time at all?”

“Do you know, Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”

DOCTOR: Paul Tanner, congratulations, you're today’s lucky winner. Ace, tell the man what he’s won.

ACE: A complete set of explanations from the Professor here. And you have no idea what a rare and precious thing that is.

DOCTOR: Do you want a dangerous fugitive staying in your flat?

PAUL: Of course not.

DOCTOR: Well then, don’t upset him and he'll be a nice fugitive staying in your flat.

DOCTOR: You might want to break the window first.

WALTER: Doctor!

DOCTOR: After all, if it just bounces off the glass, well, fire-bombing her petunias isn’t much of a statement.

EVELYN: You must have a name.

DOCTOR: Sometimes it seems like I must. At those times I become yet another member of the great Smith clan. Doctor John Smith, in fact. But as I am going to save your life, you can call me The Doctor. And the sooner I get started, the better.

SUSAN: Yes, I can see red turns to blue, Mister Chesterton, but that’s because we’re dealing with two inactive chemicals. They only act in relation to each other.

IAN: But that’s the whole point of the experiment, Susan.

SUSAN: Yes, it’s a bit obvious, isn’t it? Well, I’m not trying to be rude, but couldn’t we deal with two active chemicals? Then red could turn blue all by itself and get on with something else? I’m sorry, it was just an idea.

SUSAN: When will we get back, Grandfather?

DOCTOR: I don’t know, my dear. This old ship of mine seems to be an aimless thing. However, we don’t worry about it, do we? Do you?

SUSAN: Sometimes I feel I’d like to belong somewhere, not just be a wanderer. Still, I’m not unhappy.

DOCTOR: Good, good.

SUSAN: I was going to say, why do you trust your people?

1ST ELDER: Why do you want to make me doubt them?

SUSAN: Trust can’t be taken for granted. It must be earned. I trust you, but only because I know you.

1ST ELDER: But Susan, our whole life is based on trust.

SUSAN: Yes, and that might be your downfall. Look you don’t trust the ground you walk on until you know it’s firm, do you. So why trust your people blindly?

1ST ELDER: When I listen to you, you who are so young among your own kind, I realise that we Sensorites have a lot to learn from the people of Earth.

SUSAN: Grandfather and I don’t come from Earth. Oh, it’s ages since we’ve seen our planet. It’s quite like Earth, but at night the sky is a burned orange, and the leaves on the trees are bright silver.

1ST ELDER: My mind tells me that you wish to see your home again, and yet there is a part of you which calls for adventure. A wanderlust.

SUSAN: Yes. Well, we’ll all go home some day. That’s if you’ll let us.

1ST ELDER: I think I will.

DOCTOR: My dear girl, the one purpose in growing old is to accumulate knowledge and wisdom, and to help other people.

SUSAN: So I’m to be treated like a silly little child.

DOCTOR: If you behave like one, yes.

SUSAN: Oh, look, Grandfather. I understand the Sensorites. They’re timid little people. Because their minds and mine can communicate sometimes, they trust me.

DOCTOR: Yes, and I assure you we shall make good use of that fact, but not without discussions. You will not make decisions on your own accord. Now, do you understand? Is that quite clear? Well, is it?

SUSAN: Look, I’m not saying I’m as clever as you, of course I’m not. But I won’t be pushed aside. I’m not a child anymore, Grandfather. I’m not.

DOCTOR: Oh, Susan, Susan.

SUSAN: Well, how will I know?

AUTLOC: Know what?

SUSAN: Well, that he’s to be my future husband.

AUTLOC: You’ll be told.

SUSAN: Told? I’m not going to be told who to marry.

AUTLOC: What say have you in the matter?

SUSAN: It’s my life, I’ll spend it with whom I choose, not someone picked out for me.

LIZ: Then what do you do, exactly?

BRIGADIER: We deal with the odd, the unexplained, anything on Earth, or even beyond.

LIZ: Alien invaders? Little blue men with three heads?

BRIGADIER: Ten tons of alien material drift through space and land on this planet every day.

LIZ: And do no harm to anyone.

BRIGADIER: Still sceptical?

LIZ: Of course. I deal with facts, not science fiction ideas.

BRIGADIER: Miss Shaw, I'm not a fool. I don't chase shadows. What you don't understand is that there might, there is a remote possibility that outside your cosy little world other things could exist.

LIZ: No need to get tetchy.

BRIGADIER: Well, sometimes you can be very aggravating.

LIZ: Me? What about you? You really believe in a man who's helped to save the world twice? With the power to transform his physical appearance?

BRIGADIER: I'm not sure yet. It may not be the same man.

LIZ: An alien who travels through time and space in a police box?

SCOBIE: Dear chap, what are you doing with a police box?

BRIGADIER: Well, sir

LIZ: Camouflage, General. It's not really a police box. It's a spaceship.

BRIGADIER: Oh well, at least he won't get very far.

LIZ: You mean, before your men shoot him again?

BRIGADIER: I don't find that funny. Without this machine, the Doctor's stuck. He can't leave Earth.

LIZ: You were about to open it?

BRIGADIER: Yes.

LIZ: I think you should. There might be a policeman locked inside.

VICKI: Doctor? He says the TARDIS isn't a time machine.

DOCTOR: Oh, does he now?

VICKI: Tell him.

DOCTOR: I don't see why I should, my child. He'll learn soon enough.

STEVEN: Look, Doctor, I've seen some spaceships in my time, admittedly nothing like this. Well, what does this do?

DOCTOR: That is the dematerialising control and that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop bothering me.

JAMIE: Doctor, come on, will ye? The whole place is going to blow up.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's quite all right, Jamie. The planet is quite safe. There's just going to be a localised volcanic eruption. It'll only affect the island.

JAMIE: Maybe so, but we happen to be on the island.

DOCTOR: Oh, my word!

JO: Who is he and how did he get in here?

THIRD DOCTOR: Well it's a bit difficult to explain, Jo.

JO: He's not one of them, is he?

THIRD DOCTOR:: Well, not so much one of them as one of us. One of me to be precise.

SECOND DOCTOR: Oh no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, my dear, I hate to be contrary but I can see he's a little bit confused, poor old chap, and I do feel you should have the correct explanation. You don't mind, do you.

THIRD DOCTOR:: Yes.

SECOND DOCTOR: I didn't think you would. You see, Jo. I may call you Jo, mayn't I? You see, he is one of me.

JO: Oh, I see. You're both Time Lords.

SECOND DOCTOR: Well quite. Well, not quite.

JO: Oh.

SECOND DOCTOR: Not, not just Time Lords. We're the same Time Lord.

THIRD DOCTOR:: Now please, you're only confusing my assistant. Jo, it's all quite simple. I am he and he is me.

JO: "And we are all together, goo goo ga joob?"

“Yes. You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.”

DOCTOR: Hello. Hello, did I startle you? Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.

LEELA: The Evil One.

DOCTOR: Well, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a little. I'm the Doctor. What's your name?

LEELA: Leela.

DOCTOR: Leela. A nice name, Leela. I never met anyone called Leela. Would you like a jelly baby?

LEELA: It's true, then. They say the Evil One eats babies.

DOCTOR: You mustn't believe all they say. No, these are sweets. They're rather good. Go on, have one.

DOCTOR: That gesture you did. Yes, that's the one. It's presumably to ward off evil. It's interesting because it's also the sequence for checking the seals on a Starfall Seven spacesuit. And what makes that particularly interesting is that you don't know what a Starfall Seven spacesuit is, do you.

(The Doctor holds a jelly baby under the nose of the red-haired warrior.)

DOCTOR: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.

ROMANA: Newton? Who's Newton?

DOCTOR: Old Isaac? Friend of mine on Earth. He discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity. I had to give him a bit of a prod.

ROMANA: What did you do?

DOCTOR: Climbed up a tree.

ROMANA: And?

DOCTOR: Dropped an apple on his head.

ROMANA: Ah, and so he discovered gravity.

DOCTOR: No, no, he told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.

DOCTOR: Davros, if you had created a virus in your laboratory, something contagious and infectious that killed on contact, a virus that would destroy all other forms of life, would you allow its use?

DAVROS: It is an interesting conjecture.

DOCTOR: Would you do it?

DAVROS: The only living thing, a microscopic organism reigning supreme. A fascinating idea.

DOCTOR: But would you do it?

DAVROS: Yes. Yes. To hold in my hand a capsule that contains such power, to know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything. Yes, I would do it! That power would set me up above the gods. And through the Daleks, I shall have that power!

KARUNA: He was with her.

PANNA: Impossible. Was he present when you opened the box?

DOCTOR: Yes. Most enlightening.

PANNA: What's he babbling about? No male can open the Box of Jhana without being driven out of his mind. It is well known. Unless. Is he an idiot?

KARUNA: Are you an idiot?

DOCTOR: Well, I suppose I must be. I have been called one many

PANNA: Keep silent, idiot.

DOCTOR: Yes.

TEGAN: I'm not coming with you.

DOCTOR: I beg your pardon?

TEGAN: I'm tired of it.

DOCTOR: What's the matter?

TEGAN: A lot of good people have died today. I think I'm sick of it.

DOCTOR: You think I wanted it this way?

TEGAN: No. It's just that I don't think I can go on.

DOCTOR: You want to stay on Earth.

TEGAN: My Aunt Vanessa said, when I became an air stewardess, if you stop enjoying it, give it up.

DOCTOR: Tegan

TEGAN: It's stopped being fun, Doctor. Goodbye. Turlough.

MASTER: That's right, you tell me. And Ace! Or should I say Dorothy? Didn't the Doctor ditch you? No? Little fallout with your Machiavellian maestro?

ACE: Last time I saw you, you were half cat.

MASTER: A man's allowed to experiment.

PEX: Are these old ladies annoying you?

MEL: No!

PEX: Are you annoying these old ladies?

TILDA + TABBY: No, she isn't.

PEX: Oh.

DOCTOR: Greetings.

CARETAKER: I am the Chief Caretaker.

DOCTOR: And I am-

CARETAKER: No need to tell me. I know who you are. We have been waiting for this momentous visit for so many years. You are the man who brought Paradise Towers to life. The visionary who dreamed up its pools and lifts and squares. And now you have returned to your creation. You will make all those dilapidated lifts and rise and fall as they've never done before. All signs of wallscrawl will disappear from the corridors of Paradise Towers. The floors will gleam and the windows will shine, and will be made as new. Fellow Caretakers, do you know who this is? This is the Great Architect returned to Paradise Towers. Bid him welcome. All Hail the Great Architect, all hail.

CARETAKERS: All hail the Great Architect.

DEPUTY: What shall we do with him now then, Chief?

CARETAKER: Kill him.

SCARLIONI: Yes, it would. So you stole the bracelet simply because it's pretty?

DOCTOR: Yes. Well, I think it is. Don't you?

SCARLIONI: Yes.

COUNTESS: My dear, I don't think he's as stupid as he seems.

SCARLIONI: My dear, nobody could be as stupid as he seems.

DOCTOR: Oh.

SCARLIONI: This interview is at an end.

TEGAN: Oh, great. You make it sound like a shopping list, ticking off things as you go. Aren't you forgetting something rather important? Adric is dead.

NYSSA: Tegan, please.

DOCTOR: We feel his loss as well.

TEGAN: Well, you could do more than grieve. You could go back.

NYSSA: Could you?

DOCTOR: No.

NYSSA: But surely the TARDIS is quite capable of-

TEGAN: We can change what happened if we materialise before Adric was killed.

DOCTOR: And change your own history?

TEGAN: Look, the freighter could still crash into Earth. That doesn't have to be changed. Only Adric doesn't have to be on board.

DOCTOR: Now listen to me, both of you. There are some rules that cannot be broken even with the TARDIS. Don't ever ask me to do anything like that again. You must accept that Adric is dead. His life wasn't wasted. He died trying to save others, just like his brother, Varsh. You know, Adric had a choice. This is the way he wanted it.

TEGAN: We used to fight a lot. I'll miss him.

NYSSA: So will I.

DOCTOR: And me. But he wouldn't want us to mourn unnecessarily.

K-MASTER: You will obey me.

PERI: No.

K-MASTER: I am the Master!

PERI: So what? I'm Perpugilliam Brown and I can shout just as loud as you can.

DOCTOR: It's very interesting.

RANGE: It used to generate a basic form of energy, but we no longer have any fuel. This planet is without wood or any combustible material.

DOCTOR: What about the colony ship? Must have been brimming with gadgetry.

RANGE: Oh, systems that could rebuild a civilisation for us. Failure-proof technology.

DOCTOR: What happened to it all?

RANGE: It failed. And nothing survived the crash.

KRAIL: You must come and live with us.

POLLY: But we cannot live with you. You're, you're different. You've got no feelings.

KRAIL: Feelings? I do not understand that word.

DOCTOR: Emotions. Love, pride, hate, fear. Have you no emotions, sir?

KRAIL: Come to Mondas and you will have no need of emotions. You will become like us.

POLLY: Like you?

KRAIL: We have freedom from disease, protection against heat and cold, true mastery. Do you prefer to die in misery?

KLIEG: It's you. Over to that wall, all of you. All of you! Now.

DOCTOR: Yes, as you say, such a combination between intelligence and power would make you formidable indeed. Why you'd be commander of the universe with your brilliance! It makes the imagination reel with the possibilities!

KLIEG: Why, Doctor, if I had only known you shared my imagination, you might even have worked for me.

DOCTOR: Perhaps it's not too late?

JAMIE: Doctor!

DOCTOR: No, Jamie, don't you see?

(The Cybermen are waking but Klieg has his back to them.)

DOCTOR: Don't you see what this is going to all mean to all the people who come to serve Klieg the All Powerful? Why, no country, no person would dare to have a single thought that was not your own. Eric Klieg's own conception of the, of the way of life!

KLIEG: Brilliant! Yes, yes, you're right. Master of the world.

DOCTOR: Well now I know you're mad. I just wanted to make sure.

DOCTOR: You don't really think that our appearance on the planet of Peladon at this precise crisis in their history was just coincidence, do you?

JO: Time Lords again.

DOCTOR: Yes, I think so.

JO: Ah, you didn't beat them after all.

DOCTOR: No, not yet, but I will, Jo. Just give me time. Still, now we've done what they wanted us to do, I suppose they'll whip us straight back to Earth.

JO: At least we get to see a real coronation before we go, eh?

DOCTOR: Yeah, that's true. You know, I haven't seen a coronation since Elizabeth the first's. Or was it Queen Victoria?

JO: Name dropper.

AXON MAN [on monitor]: All things must die, Doctor. Mankind, this planet, Axos merely hastens the process.

DOCTOR: Oh? How?

AXON MAN [on monitor]: Axonite is simply bait for human greed. Because of this greed, Axonite will soon spread across the entire planet and then the nutrition cycle will begin.

DOCTOR: Indeed, and what then?

AXON MAN [on monitor]: Slowly we will consume every particle of energy, every last cell of living matter. Earth will be sucked dry!

“No. No, I'm afraid not. No, obviously the Time Lords have programmed the TARDIS always to return to Earth. It seems that I'm some kind of a galactic yo-yo!”

JO: A mind probe?

DOCTOR: Oh, you don't want to worry about those things, Jo. As long as you tell them the truth, they can't do you any harm.

JO: They can't?

DOCTOR: No, of course not. Well, they're only sort of computers with a few extra knobs on. And you know how stupid computers can be, don't you? Now come and sit down, stop worrying. Come on. Sit down. Did I ever tell you the story about how I was once captured by the Medusoids?

JO: What are they?

DOCTOR: Medusoids? How can I describe them to you? Well, they're a sort of hairy jellyfish with claws, teeth and a leg.

JO: Erk!

DOCTOR: Anyway, they put me under one of these mind probes things, you see, and tried to get me to tell them where I was going. So, I said I was on my way to meet a giant rabbit, a pink elephant and a purple horse with yellow spots.

JO: What happened?

DOCTOR: Well, the poor old machine just couldn't believe it, had a nervous breakdown.

JO: And then what happened?

DOCTOR: Well, they put me under another one of these mind probe things and the same thing happened.

JO: But you weren't telling the truth. I mean, you weren't really going to meet a giant rabbit, a pink elephant and a, what was it?

DOCTOR: A purple horse with yellow spots. Yes, I was. You see, they were all delegates for the third Intergalactic Peace Conference.

JO: How did you get away from these things?

DOCTOR: Well they had to turn me loose eventually.

JO: Why?

DOCTOR: They ran out of mind probes.

EVELYN: Oh no. You are going to sing.

DOCTOR: Well, yes, I am.

“All right, all right, I suppose you want to see my pass? Yes, well, I haven't got one. And I'm not going to tell you my name, either. Now you just tell Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart that I want to see him. Well, don't just stand there arguing with me, man! Get on with it!”

DOCTOR: By the time I've called look out, what's your name?

ROMANA: Romanadvoratnelundar.

DOCTOR: By the time I've called that out, you could be dead. I'll call you Romana.

ROMANA: I don't like Romana.

DOCTOR: It's either Romana or Fred.

ROMANA: All right, call me Fred.

DOCTOR: Good. Come on, Romana.

ROMANA: K9, what is tennis?

K9: Real, lawn or table, mistress?

ROMANA: Never mind. Forget it.

K9: Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. Memory erased.

“Of course he can. The Doctor's almost as clever as I am.”

LIZ: Yes, well, he wants us to join him. 'Miss Shaw and the Doctor will report themselves forthwith to Wenley Moor. Attend a briefing meeting at precisely-'

DOCTOR: My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere. Particularly not forthwith.

THE GENERAL: Well, this is quite an honour. There have been rumours of a distinguished visitor for some time. But I must confess, I didn't expect the Reichsinspektor General.

DOCTOR: No one expects the Reichsinspektor General!

DOCTOR: I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro Nine, have you?

ACE: What if I had?

DOCTOR: Naturally you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?

ACE: Of course not. I'm a good girl. I do what I'm told.

DOCTOR: Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.

NYSSA: I thought we couldn't change history.

DOCTOR: This place. All decay and despair. It feels like an end. Yet you and I know what's coming afterwards. So it's not an ending. Just an alternative.

NYSSA: So we can't change history.

DOCTOR: Who says? I think history's old enough to take care of itself.

HEMMINGS: You devil - you cunning little devil!

DOCTOR: Cunning? Well, yes, I have to be sometimes. And as for little, these things are relative, you know. I've been much smaller than this. As a matter of fact, I was once in grave danger of being washed down the plughole. But devil? We make our own devils, and our own hell.

GOLD DALEK COMMANDER: The Daleks have come for your archive.

CHIEF ARCHIVIST: Do you wish to apply for a membership card?

GOLD DALEK COMMANDER: You will surrender the archive to me.

“You know, one thing you can be certain of with politicians, is that whatever their political ideas, they always keep a well-stocked larder.”

BRAXIATEL: Mozart, Madam? The Magic Flute?

ROMANA: It purports to be. How K9 will ever understand beauty, I don’t know. Not when the only recordings he can access are so inadequate. He’ll just have to go to Salzburg.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, where you can be his star blazing queen of the night.

ROMANA: Don’t push it, Braxiatel.

LEELA: I could not return to the place I came from.

ROMANA: Well, yours is a special case.

NARVIN: How so, Madam President?

ROMANA: Because I say it is!

LEELA: I do not lie. I shall kill you, Time Lord.

TORVALD: Leela, please.

LEELA: I shall dangle your entrails before your dying eyes.

TORVALD: That’s… really horrible.

LEELA: I might stay here. It is as much a home as Gallifrey. Here, I would be of use.

ROMANA: But you can be of use to me.

LEELA: How is that?

ROMANA: I need someone to watch my back. A Presidential bodyguard.

LEELA: Me? A bodyguard? K9! I am to be a Presidential bodyguard!

DOCTOR: Professor Morgan, have you ever heard the expression “only the used key shines”?

MORGAN: What are you talking about?

DOCTOR: Wherever I go in the universe I invariably meet people like you - intelligent, knowledgeable people who, for reasons I can only guess at, reach a point in their lives when they arbitrarily decide to close their minds to anything new. You make it a point of personal pride to scoff, mock, and ridicule anybody who happens to inhabit a larger universe than the one in which you have chosen to imprison yourself - well that’s your business, you may believe I’m talking nonsense and I can’t help what you personally choose to believe, but I do know this - the only way to learn is to keep your mind open to the input of those who are more knowledgeable than yourself.

DOCTOR: When I meet a regime that needs to import savage alien life forms as security guards, I begin to wonder who the real criminals are.

JO: Those creatures aren't really savage.

CONTROLLER: Exactly. They are simply guard dogs. They just do what I tell them.

DOCTOR: You mean there aren't enough humans around that will follow your orders so blindly?

CONTROLLER: That is not what I was saying.

DOCTOR: Isn't it? Then what you're saying is that the entire human population of this planet, apart from a few remarkable exceptions like yourself, are really only fit to lead the life of a dog.

BRAXIATEL: That fool Glower was actually going to set the thing off! As a scientific study!

ROMANA: But something stopped him.

BRAXIATEL: Right at the last moment. The device was dismantled and never spoken of again. Rumour has it that Narvin persuaded him to change his mind. Whatever happened, the CIA recruited Narvin and he’s never looked back.

LEELA: Except to see who stands behind him with a knife.

“I am Lady Romanadvoratrelundar, President of the Supreme Council of Gallifrey and all her dominions, holder of the wisdom of Rassilon, preserver of the Matrix, guardian of the legacy of Omega. But you can call me Romana, and I have come to present evidence.”

ROMANA: Don’t trust Narvin. Or Torvald.

LEELA: I do not. Both have let me down before.

ROMANA: Remember, we need to know who is behind this. We need someone left alive to interrogate.

LEELA: Try not to kill anyone. That’s what Andred used to tell me. It amused him to say it… My late husband.

BRAXIATEL: Do you think she finally believes that Andred is dead?

ROMANA: I think she’s starting to accept that he may be.

BRAXIATEL: Is he?

ROMANA: I don’t know.

“One thing our President cannot be accused of is incompetence. She may be guilty of compassion, intuition, emotion, honesty, integrity - pragmatism, even. But she is supremely competent. That is the root cause of most of our problems.”

ROMANA: I didn’t believe it when Narvin told me. I didn’t want to believe it, but then I remembered reading up on the Braxiatel Collection, once. Long ago, on my travels.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, just a notion of mine at present. A way of doing what little I can to preserve the creations of lifekind from the ravages of time.

ROMANA: It’s a good idea. How long have you–

BRAXIATEL: A very long time. At first, I expected to be caught. At every deal, I expected Narvin or one of his cronies to be waiting for me. I suppose it was Project Alpha that set me off on it - knowing how close, how very close, we came to destroying so much.

ROMANA: So you set about saving it before another catastrophe.

BRAXIATEL: We live in a catastrophic universe!

LEELA: A man does not become hated for nothing.

SISSY: He says things sometimes, about the races. Things everyone believes, but no one wants to hear. About how some of us are born high and noble, and others are born with less… desirable traits. I mean, what’s wrong with keeping people apart if they won’t ever get on?

LEELA: Where I come from, the people were kept apart for longer than anyone could remember. Now, the Sevateem were as clever as the Tesh, and the Tesh were as savage as the Sevateem. But because they had been apart for so long, they could not see they were just the same. This system sprang from madness, too.

SISSY: Well, you would say that. You’re a Slav. I don’t blame you for wanting to live alongside us, but, well, you can’t, because you’ll drag us down, and we have to preserve the most beautiful things. Oh, I mean no offence, of course.

LEELA: You think you are better than me? You pick the lock.

SISSY: I can’t. I don’t know how.

LEELA: Then who is dragging who down? I mean no offence, of course.

TORVALD: You’re mad!

ROMANA: Boiling mad! Time is not a game, Torvald! You, Narvin, Arkadian - silly boys, the lot of you! Treating the timeline like a train set in the attic! Chuck this carriage here, this carriage there, move point, change the signal box, replace the controller. I’m not having it, Torvald! Not anymore! So tell me the truth!

K9: Something has happened to Leela. Apparently, she has vanished. Literally.

ROMANA: When you say literally, K9, I assume you’re not talking figuratively. I find people who use the word literally when they don’t mean it literally very annoying.

K9: Leela has literally vanished, mistress.

NARVIN: Braxiatel.

BRAXIATEL: Yes?

NARVIN: Thank you.

BRAXIATEL: Oh, don’t mention it. I mean that. To no one. I couldn’t bear the shame.

NARVIN: Of what?

BRAXIATEL: Saving your neck.

LEELA: Why did you shoot Narvin, K9? Not that I’m complaining.

K9: Pandora was only active by piggy-backing the brainwaves of an exceptionally intelligent Time Lord.

BRAXIATEL: Hence his lack of sleep. If Narvin had slept, Pandora’s power would have closed down. She must have accessed him ages ago.

ROMANA: Or, like me, it might be inherited, waiting for the right moment.

LEELA: I do not know which shocks me most, Romana. That you had a previous life, or that Narvin is considered one of the most intelligent Time Lords.

TRINKETT: Well, personnel restrictions do apply to Time Lords too. You've placed us in a difficult position, Delegate Doctor.

DOCTOR: For which I cannot apologise enough, so I shan't even start. Now, tell me, Monitor Trinkett, have you noticed anything untoward in this sector of space recently?

ROMANA: Even after twenty years, I still fear them coming for me. They leave me here in the cell for days at a time, no distractions, no exercise, no food, and you never hear them coming, and it's dark, so you never see them. They roll along that metal floor, closer and closer, soundlessly, nearer, nearer. Stop outside the door.

VRINT: Please I...

ROMANA: That voice, the orders, the pushing you down the corridor for the special service, and you see them crowding around you, all sharp lines and angles and sticks, watching you do whatever it is they can't or choose not to do for themselves.

VRINT: I am not one of the slave elite.

ROMANA: They may look like the robots, but you know what, what you've become. And just as we wouldn't thank a robot when the work is done, they send you away again in silence. Silently up the corridor, the black plastic poking you in the back, and you look down and you remember when your body was full and young and fit and not emaciated, atrophying in some stinking hole in the rock. And you come back, step after step, and the numbers are always the same, just as the days and the nights are always the same. And all that's changing is a little bit of you is dying, day after day after

VRINT: You're unit one one seven...

ROMANA: I am not unit one one seven! I am Romanadvoratrelundar. I have no choice but to let the Daleks dehumanise me, but I will not tolerate the same treatment from you. Who are you?

VRINT: Unit sixty three.

ROMANA: Your name, you idiot. You have a name, don't you? Or have the Daleks taken that from you with everything else.

VRINT: My name is Vrint. I am Vrint of the Monan Host.

ROMANA: (sighs) That's better.

DALEK: Surrender the crystal!

DOCTOR: Oh, all right. (stops running) You can have it. But let my friend here go first.

DALEK: She must be exterminated.

DOCTOR: Let her go, or I'll smash your crystal against this wall. Go on, Romana, to the end of the corridor.

ROMANA: Doctor, another one.

DALEK 2: Do not move.

ROMANA: Your friend just said I could.

DOCTOR: Afraid so. Don't kick him out of the union or anything, will you. | did threaten to destroy your precious crystal. What you might call a Mexican stand-off. Ever exterminated any Mexicans?

DALEK: You will be...

DOCTOR: Exterminated? Yes, I dare say I will. (sotto) Back away, all of you.

ROMANA: Daleks, wait. I'm too old, and frankly, too important to be taking orders from you, Doctor.

EVELYN: That's what I always tell him, but is this really the time for a mutiny?

ROMANA: Daleks, I may have been slave unit one one seven on Etra Prime, but here I am President of the High Council of Time Lords. These people are my subjects, and useful to me, for now at least. I won't have you kill them.

DOCTOR: Well, here we are. The Vault of the Eye of Harmony. Let's get unpacked.

ROMANA: The atmosphere here. You can feel the power, can't you?

DOCTOR: The secret power of a syphoned singularity, the sacred heart of the Time Lords.

ROMANA: And we're reducing it to the equivalent of an electric socket.

DOCTOR: Well, that's all it is when you strip away the mystical mumbo-jumbo. A phenomenal power source.

DOCTOR: There's no time to do this by the book.

ROMANA: What book? Half the science we've used is nonsense.

DOCTOR: No change there, then. Increasing power.

DOCTOR: I need the boosters. Why have you not gone for them?

EVELYN: We're going for them now. Doctor, I've never seen you so upset.

DOCTOR: You can't take it in, can you? Oh, the blessing of a human mind.

EVELYN: Well, if you're going to be all high and mighty.

DOCTOR: It's a matter of perspective, Evelyn. Let's take your own galaxy, the Milky Way. An area of space so vast that if it were reduced to the size of the United States of America, the Earth would be less than the smallest mote of dust, barely visible through an electron microscope.

EVELYN: Oh.

VANSELL: Doctor.

DOCTOR: Seriphia is four times as large as the Milky Way, and in just a few hours six hundred billion stars will be as snuffed out candles to a new sun, a ball of fire four hundred thousand light years across. And from there it will spread on and on and on through the hundred billion other galaxies in the universe. The death toll will be as incalculable as it will be absolute. And by the end there'll be nothing left! Nothing!

VANSELL: You've made your point, Doctor.

EVELYN: All right, Doctor. I understand. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, all right?

DOCTOR: No. No, Evelyn. No, I'm sorry.

EVELYN: We can still stop the Daleks, can't we?

DOCTOR: Of course we can. And we will. I'd better help Romana with the repairs.

EVELYN: Come on, Vansell. Let's get the man what he needs.

VANSELL: Good luck, Doctor.

DALEK: Rise!

EVELYN: You could help a girl up, Dalek. A pretty face like mine could open a lot of doors for you.

AMY: When I said I wanted to meet the Beatles I meant the band, not the bugs.

DOCTOR: Or you can stay up here and meet the Daleks. But they're more heavy metal.

LEELA: But I am not growing old.

ANDRED: No, you’re not. But I didn’t know that then. I didn’t realise that you are cursed just as we are.

LEELA: Cursed?

ANDRED: Living long enough to experience the consequences of our own actions down through the centuries. I wanted to change things, Leela. I wanted to make them better.

BRAXIATEL: Seems like cheating? You wouldn’t make the same mistake, I take it?

NARVIN: I wouldn’t cheat, as you put it. Yes, if it was a valid political point, I would make it. I wouldn’t hesitate to destroy you, Braxiatel, but for the right reasons. In the proper way. Because you deserve it. Not because you don’t.

BRAXIATEL: A nice distinction.

“I mean, I’m trying my best to lead Gallifrey into the future. I’m trying to forge links with the other Temporal Powers instead of conducting ruinous wars against them. Darkel is determined to drag us all back to the old time. How can we go forward when she continually fans the flames of mistrust and paranoia? I’ve seen the future she’ll create, K9, I’ve seen the corridors of the Capitol awash with blood.”

“I am still the Lord High President of Gallifrey, and it’s about time a few people learned to accept that fact! No more compromises, K9. From now on, things are going to be very different around here.”

K9: Suggestion. Use metal component as barter to obtain access to collected evidence from academy bombing.

LEELA: I do not think Narvin will barter this information.

K9: Then we will not give him our findings.

LEELA: K9, you are thinking like a Time Lord now.

K9: Compliments are unnecessary, mistress.

“The Coordinator of the CIA does not ally himself with anyone. While the Madame President Romana is officially in office, I am, however, loyal to her.”

“Andred. My husband. I have wronged you in my thoughts. I have made you my enemy when you needed me by your side. I am sorry. Do not worry. I grow closer to your killer and my blade will strike deep and avenge you. And then, then I may join you. For there is nothing for me here. And we will be happy once more.”

“Yes, this is exactly what they have waited for. This is all my fault, Leela. I thought I could change things, but this society is too old, too ingrained in the way things are. The President's the one with the least power here. It's just a fancy title. I'm losing, Leela.”

“Vengeance is the warrior's code. We are, both of us, warriors in our ways. But whereas you use the word in battle, I use the knife. Which of us is better served?”

“That's better. It was getting uncomfortable in that small mind of yours. I was always in you, Romana. We have the Imperiatrix Imprimatur from when I bonded with Pandora. She is all that is left of that line, just a ghost, but brimming with all that ambition and power. And she gave that to me.”

“Hello there! I'd like hte heuvos rancheros, please. (Indicates device sitting on the table beside him.) Oh, don't worry, this thing doesn't do anything untoward to either eggs OR chickens. Cows, mind... You don't want it anywhere near cows.”

“I really didn't know. I wasn't sure. You lose sight sometimes. Thank you! I am not a good man! I am not a bad man. I am not a hero. And I'm definitely not a president. And no, I'm not an officer. Do you know what I am? I am an idiot, with a box and a screwdriver. Just passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have, because I've got them. Always them. Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise.”

“I always find that violent exercise makes me hungry. Don't you agree?”

BARBARA: What's that awful noise?

DOCTOR: I beg your pardon? awful noise? That's no way to talk about my singing!

BARBARA: No, Doctor, not that awful noise, the other one. Listen to it!

“Just because somebody isn't real, it doesn't mean you can't meet them.”

DOCTOR: Well, I can assure you, my dear Barbara, Napoleon would never have believed you.

IAN: Yes, Doctor, but supposing we had written Napoleon a letter, telling him, you know, some of the things that were going to happen to him.

SUSAN: It wouldn't have made any difference, Ian. He'd have forgotten it, or lost it, or thought it was written by a maniac.

BARBARA: I suppose if we'd tried to kill him with a gun, the bullet would have missed him.

DOCTOR: Well, it's hardly fair to speculate, is it? No, I'm afraid you belittle things. Our lives are important, at least to us. But as we see, so we learn.

IAN: And what are we going to see and learn next, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Well, unlike the old adage, my boy, our destiny is in the stars, so let's go and search for it.

DOCTOR: Are you happy with us, Victoria?

VICTORIA: Yes, I am. At least, I would be if my father were here.

DOCTOR: Yes, I know, I know.

VICTORIA: I wonder what he would have thought if he could see me now.

DOCTOR: You miss him very much, don't you?

VICTORIA: It's only when I close my eyes. I can still see him standing there, before those horrible Dalek creatures came to the house. He was a very kind man, I shall never forget him. Never.

DOCTOR: No, of course you won't. But, you know, the memory of him won't always be a sad one.

VICTORIA: I think it will. You can't understand, being so ancient.

DOCTOR: Eh?

VICTORIA: I mean old.

DOCTOR: Oh.

VICTORIA: You probably can't remember your family.

DOCTOR: Oh yes, I can when I want to. And that's the point, really. I have to really want to, to bring them back in front of my eyes. The rest of the time they sleep in my mind, and I forget. And so will you. Oh yes, you will. You'll find there's so much else to think about. So remember, our lives are different to anybody else's. That's the exciting thing. There's nobody in the universe can do what we're doing. You must get some sleep and let this poor old man stay awake.

“Nothing in ze world can stop me now!”

“Hiding in crypts doesn’t make you look evil, Childeric. Just rather sulky and antisocial.”

MASTER: Look upon my work, Doctor, and despair. Remember how we used to run through those streets as children? The alleys where we'd hide from Borusa as we skipped classes? All gone now. Come on, ask me why I did this.

DOCTOR: Why did you do this?

MASTER: Not telling you. (laughs) Oh, crack a smile.

DOCTOR: Proud of yourself?

MASTER: Definitely.

DOCTOR: All this death finally made you happy?

MASTER: Ecstatic.

DOCTOR: And has it calmed all the rage?

MASTER: I don't think anything will ever do that.

“I wish it wasn't true, but it is. You know what I find the most infuriating? You always behaved like you were different, like you were... like you were special. And you were. You can see... you can see why I'm angry. A little piece of you is in me. All I am is somehow because of you, and believe me when I say, I cannot bear that.”

“You know, I used to tell people I walked in Eternity. And the thing about Eternity is, well—it does go on.”

ROMANA: K9 is a vicious robot criminal from the fifth galaxy. Aren't you K9?

K9: Affirmative!

ROMANA: Oh come on. You need to be more assertive than that.

K9: Slaves will carry K9 unit into the capsule!

LEELA: Why do you make that funny voice K9?

K9: Now slave! Or I will have you atomized!

LEELA: I will kick your head off first!

LEELA: Oh... It is a game!

K9: Mistress.

LEELA: That is alright then!

LEELA: Is this a TARDIS? But it is the same size on the inside!

TORVALD: I don't mind the squeeze if you don't, Savage.

LEELA: My name is Leela, Weasel Mouth.

LEELA: Romana, this TARDIS is broken.

ROMANA: It's meant to get you there and back. You are not traveling as Time Lords now.

“I have the directional instincts of a homing pigeon. Now, come along. Follow me.”

DOCTOR: Even after all this time he cannot understand. I dare not change the course of history. Well, at least I taught him to take some precautions. He did remember to look at the scanner before he opened the doors. Now they're all gone. All gone. None of them could understand. Not even my little Susan, or Vicki. And as for Barbara and Chatterton. Chesterton. They were all too impatient to get back to their own time. And now, Steven. Perhaps I should go home, back to my own planet. But I can't. I can't.

“ (trying to drown out the Doctor) I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant. I am your servant.”

POLLY: But don't you see? Human beings can't be friends with Daleks. They don't have friends.

VALMAR: I don't see why not.

POLLY: It's a kind of hatred for anything unlike themselves. They think they're superior.

DOCTOR: Well, my boy, we finally rid this planet of Daleks.

STEVEN: Bret, Katarina, Sara.

DOCTOR: What a waste. What a terrible waste.

DODO: We'll never see him again, will we, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Oh, my dear, don't talk too soon. The mind is indestructible. So is the Toymaker.

STEVEN: What, you mean he can never be destroyed?

DODO: But you defeated him.

DOCTOR: Yes, just at this moment, but there will be other meetings in another time.

DODO: Then your battle with him will never end.

DOCTOR: Yes, you're quite right, my dear, but anyway, let us cheer up. After all we did win the games.

KRAIL: Our brains are just like yours except that certain weaknesses have been removed.

BARCLAY: Weaknesses? What weaknesses?

KRAIL: You call them emotions, do you not?

POLLY: But that's terrible. You, you mean you wouldn't care about someone in pain?

KRAIL: There would be no need. We do not feel pain.

POLLY: But we do.

POLLY: Then you don't mind if we all die.

KRAIL: Why should we mind?

DOCTOR: Why? Why?!

POLLY: Because millions and millions of people are going to suffer and die horribly!

KRAIL: We shall not be affected.

POLLY: Don't you think of anything except yourselves?

KRAIL: We are equipped to survive. We are only interested in survival. Anything else is of no importance. Your deaths will not affect us.

VICKI: You know, Doctor, I'm getting quite fond of Zombo.

DOCTOR: What?

VICKI: Zombo, it's his name. I gave it to him.

DOCTOR: Oh, yes, I see, I see.

VICKI: He's quite cute, isn't he, when he's like this.

DOCTOR: Well, I haven't noticed it before, my dear, but since you mention it, no I don't think so.

“Come along, put me through, will you? Come along, drop this hairdryer, or whatever it is.”

(On the Visualiser, Ian and Barbara burst into laughter)

VICKI: Doctor, they made it! They made it!

DOCTOR: I shall miss them. Yes, I shall miss them, silly old fusspots. Come along, my dear, it's time we were off.

DOCTOR: Now listen to me, young man. Sit down. Now, there are two things you can do. One, sit there until you get your breath back, and two, don't call me Doc! Now do I make myself clear?

STEVEN: Yes, yes, whatever you say, Doc-tor!

DOCTOR: What do you think of that now, eh? A Viking helmet.

STEVEN: Oh, maybe.

DOCTOR: What do you mean, maybe? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?

DOCTOR: Well, I must say, young man, I'm very proud of you.

STEVEN: Doctor, I don't know if I-

DOCTOR: I know, I know, my boy. Well, go on, you mustn't keep them waiting.

STEVEN: Goodbye, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Goodbye, Steven, and good luck.

(Steven leaves.)

(Daleks chant in unison)

DALEKS: We will get our power. We will get our power. We will get our power.

(Daleks chant in unison)

ALL DALEKS: Daleks conquer and destroy! Daleks conquer and destroy! Daleks conquer and destroy! Daleks conquer and destroy! Daleks conquer and destroy! Daleks conquer and destroy!

DOCTOR: A gentleman at last. Doctor von Wer, at your service.

SERGEANT: Doctor who?

DOCTOR: (sotto) That's what I said.

DOCTOR: Your eyes, man. You suffer from headaches?

PERKINS: No, I don't.

(The Doctor bangs Perkins' head on the desk.)

DOCTOR: No headaches?

PERKINS: Well, er. Ow!

(Another thump.)

DOCTOR: Oh dear. You call me a liar?

PERKINS: Well, no, no, no, no. Me head does ache.

DOCTOR: You say you searched all the base?

HOBSON: Yes. What of it?

DOCTOR: Every nook and cranny?

HOBSON: Yes.

DOCTOR: No chance of anyone hiding anywhere?

HOBSON: None whatever.

DOCTOR: Did your men search in here?

DOCTOR: (inside the Dalek.) I fooled them all! I am the master!

[Museum]

(The Doctor comes out of the Dalek room still chuckling, and is promptly captured by two Morok guards)

“You can't threaten me now, Benik. I can only die once, and someone's beaten you to it.”

“Victoria, I think this is one of those instances where discretion is the better part of valour. Jamie has an idea. Come along.”

GWEN: As you may remember, at the building site Owen said this was a woman killed by a single gunshot.

OWEN: I'd been there, like, a minute?

GWEN: Since then he's had to tweak some of his initial conclusions. The first being that this isn't, in fact, a woman, but a man.

OWEN: A young man. A very girly man.

GWEN: But still ultimately a man. Then there was the cause of death. Owen said GSW. Ah ahh. The correct answer was

OWEN: Unidentified trauma. But-

TOSH: Unidentified trauma?

GWEN: Mmm. You see it in RTAs, when something like a steering column or a post goes into a body at great velocity. But the one thing that could be ruled out was?

OWEN: Gunshot wound.

GWEN: Gunshot wound. Was there, in fact, any part of your prognosis that was right?

OWEN: I got that it was a skeleton.

GWEN: Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

OWEN: You've just passed the point of-

GWEN: Where did you train? Where did you train? Did you train? Absolutely useless.

JACK: We're discussing business.

ROSE: This isn't business. This is champagne.

JACK: I try never to discuss business with a clear head.

ALICE: Honestly, has anyone ever tried to throttle you with that bowtie?

DOCTOR: Well, this one happens to be a clip-on. And also... yes. Hence the clip-on.

(Harry comes out of the TARDIS.)

HARRY: Oh, I say. We've gone!

(Harry looks at the TARDIS)

HARRY: You could sell that thing, Doctor.

DOCTOR: I could what?

HARRY: Jolly useful in Trafalgar Square. I mean, hundreds of bobbies hiding inside it.

“It may be irrational of me, but human beings are quite my favourite species.”

HARCOURT: Doctor Constantine.

CONSTANTINE: Mrs Harcourt. How much better you're looking.

HARCOURT: My leg's grown back. When I come to the hospital, I had one leg.

CONSTANTINE: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?

DOCTOR: Setting this to self-destruct, soon as everybody's clear. History says there was an explosion here. Who am I to argue with history?

ROSE: Usually the first in line.

“Homo sapiens. What an inventive, invincible species. It's only a few million years since they've crawled up out of the mud and learned to walk. Puny, defenceless bipeds. They've survived flood, famine and plague. They've survived cosmic wars and holocausts, and now here they are amongst the stars, waiting to begin a new life, ready to outsit eternity. They're indomitable. Indomitable!”

HARRY: She's coming round.

DOCTOR: Good.

HARRY: Steady. Steady on, old girl. Steady on.

SARAH: Harry

HARRY: Yes, I'm here, I'm here.

SARAH: Call me old girl again and I'll spit in your eye.

DOCTOR: Welcome back, Sarah Jane.

TASLO: So, what’s the plan?

DOCTOR: The plan is… that we’re going to improvise.

TASLO: That’s kind of the opposite of a plan.

DOCTOR: Precisely. A plan means we’re being predictable. If we’re going to uncover what the council is really up to… best if they can’t follow what we’re doing.