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TARDIS Guide
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DOCTOR: That's war, Kalan. Whatever ideology anyone says they are fighting for, the net result is death, nothing more

— War Doctor, Eye of Harmony

DOCTOR: Some of my goofiest incarnations have been my sliest.

— Eighth Doctor, Caerdroia

Tags: Funny

Audacity: Doctor, at least try to make sense?

— Audacity Montague, The Gloaming

Tags: Funny

SHIVANI BAJWA: Can I help you?

DOCTOR: I'm looking for my grand-daughter. She attends this school…

SHIVANI: What's her name?

DOCTOR: Susan.

SHIVANI: We have quite a few Susans. What year is she in?

DOCTOR: 1963, madam. The same as you and I and everybody -

SHIVANI: No, I meant… How old is she?

DOCTOR: Ah. She is 73 years old.

SHIVANI: (A pause) Are you…

DOCTOR: Worried?

They always found one another, didn't they? Romana, and Narvin, and Leela; always together in some combination. An enclave of familiarity against the vastness of time.

EMILY BARNFATHER: Who are you Doctor?

DOCTOR: I am me.

DOCTOR: We’re not lost, Charley. Think of it more as we’ve “gone on holiday by mistake”.

CHARLEY: Doctor, that’s life with you all over!

DOCTOR: What can I say? I’m the original accidental tourist.

DOCTOR: You know Tegan, sometimes I wonder how well I'd get along without you.

TEGAN: Thank you.

DOCTOR: Probably quite alright, all things considered. Now, a fresh cup of tea would be terribly useful.

TEGAN: Yeah? Well, you know where the kitchen is.

CYBERLEADER: You are not from this world. You are a Timelord.

DOCTOR: Oh, is that why my body keeps changing? I just thought it was vindictive puberty.

HAYDEN: It is a necessary evil.

DOCTOR: Oh I've met evils you wouldn't believe, gods and devils, warewolves and vampires, every monster every child's ever imagined creeping out from under the bed and you know what? They're all real. But a necessary evil - that's the only one that's a fiction.

DOCTOR: It destroyed half the universe because of me. We stand here now on the edge of creation, a creation which I devastated. So, yes, I keep running. Of course I do. How am I supposed to look back on that?

— Fourteenth Doctor, Wild Blue Yonder

DONNA: Was it me, or was Isaac Newton hot?

DOCTOR: He was, wasn't he? He was so hot. Oh! Is that who I am now?

DONNA: Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought…

DOCTOR: It's funny, cos I wonder where the TARDIS goes at random. Maybe it lands on some outcrop by the sea. And there's a tribe and they worship it for 100 years. Then they grow up and try to burn it. Then they get wise. They preserve it. Then they build a city all around it, till the TARDIS is just a tiny little dot, surrounded by skyscrapers and monorails. Time passes and the city falls. It all gets swept away. And there's the TARDIS… still on its outcrop… by the sea. She's the only thing I've got left.

— Fourteenth Doctor, Wild Blue Yonder

DONNA: I was thinking… And let me finish, okay? I know I sound daft, but… I wonder how long they'll wait, Rose and Shaun and my mother. Standing there in that alley… waiting for the TARDIS to come back. What if we never do? And then time will pass. Rose will grow up, she'll have a life. She might go back to that alley once a year for old times' sake, but she'll move on. Not Shaun, though. He'll keep going back every single day. He's nice, you know. He's lovely. I hope you get to know him.

— Donna Noble, Wild Blue Yonder

DONNA: You okay?

DOCTOR: I will be.

DONNA: When?

DOCTOR: A million years.

DONNA: We can have more days, can't we? I mean, why is it such a big goodbye with you? Why is it one last trip? Cos you could visit with my family. We could do outrageous things, like have tea, or dinner, and a laugh. And Rose's school play. Well, maybe not that. She can't act. She's terrible. I don't know how to tell her. But the point is, you've been given a second chance. You can do things different this time. So why don't you do something completely new, and have some friends?

— Donna Noble, The Star Beast

DOCTOR: I really do remember, though. Every second with you. I'm so glad you're back, cos it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.

— Fourteenth Doctor, The Star Beast

NARVIN: Never change, Leela. You are the one rock in this whole turbulent universe.

LEELA: Thank you, I think.

DOCTOR: There goes my plan A

SARAH JANE: Is there a plan B?

DOCTOR: Eh. Plan B would never work, we'll try plan C.

MASTER: That's right, you tell me. And Ace! Or should I say Dorothy? Didn't the Doctor ditch you? No? Little fallout with your Machiavellian maestro?

ACE: Last time I saw you, you were half cat.

MASTER: A man's allowed to experiment.

DOCTOR: If this universe has taught me anything, it's that you should always hold onto every moment you can, every hour, every minute, every second. Even when all hope is gone, you should still cling on, because you can never know what fresh hope the future may bring.

— Eleventh Doctor, The End

HENDRICKS: If you kill me Doctor, then I’ll ensure that you die as well.

DOCTOR: Go on then. Try.

HENDRICKS: I’ll pay every bounty Hunter - every mercenary, find everyone that hates you. Wherever that box of yours arrives, someone will be there waiting to kill you!

DOCTOR: I look forward to it. Daleks, Cybermen, mad Gods, whatever you can arrange. I’ll beat them all. And you’ll still be dead.

HENDRICKS: You can’t know that!

DOCTOR: I can. Because I’ve fought every abomination in the universe. And the only thing that’s ever stopped me is my conscience!

HENDRICKS: And is that conscience willing to have my death weighing on it? Mine and everyone else on this planet.

DOCTOR: I destroyed my home world! I’m haunted every day by the millions I had to sacrifice! I can cope with a few more. Question is, are you ready to join them?

(Inside the TARDIS)

VALARIE: How does she work?

DOCTOR: Big bit fits inside the small bit. It’s like an optical illusion except with dimensions and not an illusion, so nothing like an optical illusion I suppose.

TASLO: So, what’s the plan?

DOCTOR: The plan is… that we’re going to improvise.

TASLO: That’s kind of the opposite of a plan.

DOCTOR: Precisely. A plan means we’re being predictable. If we’re going to uncover what the council is really up to… best if they can’t follow what we’re doing.