“Human progress isn't measured by industry, it's measured by the value you place on a life. An unimportant life. A life without privilege. The boy who died on the river, that boy's value is your value. That's what defines an age. That's what defines a species.”

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

“Nothing’s sad until it’s over, and then everything is.”

“Courage isn’t just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.”

“Never be cruel. Never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.”

“Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand is where I fall.”

“I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren’t there.”

“Do you know what thinking is? It’s just a fancy word for changing your mind.”

“People who talk about infallibility are usually on very shaky ground.”

“An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?”

“Happiness is nothing unless it exists side by side with sadness.”

DOCTOR: How much are they paying you?

ROSSINI: Come, come, Doctor. Gentlemen don't discuss money.

DOCTOR: Nonsense, gentlemen never talk about anything else.

IAN: Susan Foreman? She your problem too?

BARBARA: Yes.

IAN: You don't know what to make of her?

BARBARA: No.

IAN: How old is she, Barbara?

BARBARA: Fifteen.

IAN: Fifteen. She lets her knowledge out a bit at a time so as not to embarrass me. That's what I feel about her. She knows more science than I'll ever know. She's a genius. Is that what she's doing with history?

BARBARA: Something like that.

ROMANA: Yes, they taught me at school how to stop my hearts.

TYSSAN: Hearts? How many have you got?

ROMANA: One for casual, one for best.

MASTER: I know this is going to be hard to believe, Doctor, but for once I mean you no harm.

DOCTOR: Like Alice, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast. Go on.

DOCTOR: First things first?

ROMANA: Exactly.

DOCTOR: But not necessarily in that order.

DOCTOR: The Earth isn't my home, Sarah. I'm a Time Lord.

SARAH JANE: I know you're a Time Lord.

DOCTOR: You don't understand the implications. I'm not a human being. I walk in eternity.

SARAH JANE: What's that supposed to mean?

DOCTOR: It means I've lived for something like seven hundred and fifty years.

SARAH JANE: Oh, you'll soon be middle aged.

TEKA: They say he's the only scientist left on Skonnos.

ROMANA: Really? Why is that?

SETH: The great Civil War. Only the army survived.

ROMANA: That sounds like a well-organised war.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.”

“Fear makes companions of all of us.”

“The Doctor? No, I don't think so! No, dear me, no! You may be a Doctor, but I am the Doctor. The original, you might say!”

DOCTOR: He asked you a question. Will you help me?

CLARA: You shouldn't have been listening.

DOCTOR: I wasn't. I didn't need to. That was me talking. You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here, standing in front of you. Please, just, just see me.

“As you come into this world, something else is also born. You begin your life, and it begins a journey towards you. It moves slowly, but it never stops. Wherever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow. Never faster, never slower, always coming. You will run. It will walk. You will rest. It will not. One day, you will linger in the same place too long. You will sit too still or sleep too deep, and when, too late, you rise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours. Your life will then be over.”

“I can't! Why is it always me? Why is it never anybody else's turn? Can't I just lose? Just this once?”

“Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?”

“I've finally run out of corridor. There's a life summed up.”

“I'm a doctor. But probably not the one you're expecting.”

OHILA: We restored you to life, but it's a temporary measure. You have a little under four minutes.

DOCTOR: Four minutes? That's ages. What if I get bored? I need a television, couple of books, anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.

“Charley, C'Rizz, Lucie, Tamsin, Molly. Friends, companions I've known, I salute you. And Cass, I apologise. Physician, heal thyself.”

“Hello. I'm Doctor Who. And these are my plucky assistants, Thing One and the Other One.”

“You're probably handsome, aren't you? Well, congratulations on your relative symmetry.”

“Well, I am that mysterious adventurer in all of time and space, known only as Doctor Who. And these are my disposables, Exposition and Comic Relief.”

“We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.”

(Talking about Missy)

BILL: She's a murderer.

DOCTOR: Enjoying your bacon sandwich?

BILL: Why?

DOCTOR: Because it had a mummy and a daddy. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.

BILL: So, the Time Lords, bit flexible on the whole man-woman thing, then, yeah?

DOCTOR: We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.

BILL: But you still call yourselves Time Lords?

DOCTOR: Yeah. Shut up.

“Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet. I'm really trying not to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.”

MISSY: Exciting, isn't it? Watching the Cybermen getting started.

DOCTOR: They always get started. They happen everywhere there's people. Mondas, Telos, Earth, Planet 14, Marinus. Like sewage and smartphones and Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.

“People plus technology minus humanity. The internet, cyberspace, Cybermen. Always read the comments, because one day they'll be an army.”

“Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.”

“Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody lives!”

“If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?”

QUELL: So, what are you a doctor of?

DOCTOR: Now, there's a question that's never asked often enough. Let's say intestinal parasites.

“I'm so pleased to finally see you. I'm the Doctor and I will be your victim this evening. Are you my mummy?”

“Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. But you still have to choose.”

“I don't suppose there's any need for a Doctor, anymore. Make me a warrior, now.”

“Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard, I can feel it through your hands. There's so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain, it's like rocket fuel. Right now, you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert, it's like you can slow down time. What's wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It's your superpower. There is danger in this room and guess what? It's you.”

“Question. Why is there no such thing as perfect hiding? Answer. How would you know? Logically, if evolution were to perfect a creature whose primary skill were to hide from view, how could you know it existed?”

“Look, my name, my real name, that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, it's like, it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise.”

DOCTOR: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay; you wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you-- [breaks off]

ROSE: What, Doctor?

DOCTOR: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.

DOCTOR: I walked away from the last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords.

I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained.

No time. No space. Just me.

I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man.

I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you will never understand.

And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze.

So come on, then. Take it! Take it all, baby! Have it! You have it all!

DOCTOR: Kate Lethbridge Stewart, a word to the wise. As I'm sure your father would have told you, I don't like being picked up.

CLARA: That probably sounded better in his head.

“I've had many faces, many lives. I don't admit to all of them. There's one life I've tried very hard to forget. He was the Doctor who fought in the Time War, and that was the day he did it. The day I did it. The day he killed them all. The last day of the Time War. The war to end all wars between my people and the Daleks. And in that battle there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other, a man who would commit a crime that would silence the universe. And that man was me.”

“Time Lords of Gallifrey, Daleks of Skaro, I serve notice on you all. Too long I have stayed my hand. No more. Today you leave me no choice. Today, this war will end. No more. No more.”

DOCTOR: Now, I want this stone dust analysed. And I want a report in triplicate, with lots of graphs and diagrams and complicated sums on my desk, tomorrow morning, ASAP, pronto, L O L. See? Job. Do I have a desk?

KATE: No.

DOCTOR: And I want a desk.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business.

TENTH DOCTOR: One of them is a Zygon.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Urgh. I'm not judging you.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's not working.

TENTH DOCTOR: We're both reversing the polarity.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes, I know that.

TENTH DOCTOR: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.

WAR DOCTOR: You're my future selves?

TEN & ELEVEN: Yes!

WAR DOCTOR: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost.

BENTHAM: Encircle them. Which of you is the Doctor? The Queen of England is bewitched. I would have the Doctor's head.

WAR DOCTOR: Well, this has all the makings of your lucky day.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's a timey-wimey thing.

WAR DOCTOR: Timey what? Timey-wimey?

TENTH DOCTOR: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.

WAR DOCTOR: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes. No. I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators Sandshoes and Granddad.

WAR DOCTOR: Granddad?

“Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame, whatever the cost.”

CLARA: Be a doctor. You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise?

TENTH DOCTOR: Never cruel or cowardly.

WAR DOCTOR: Never give up, never give in.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Okay. Gentlemen, we're ready. Geronimo!

TENTH DOCTOR: Allons-y!

WAR DOCTOR: Oh, for God's sake. Gallifrey stands!

“Oh yes, of course. I suppose it makes sense. Wearing a bit thin. I hope the ears are a bit less conspicuous this time.”

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: I could be a curator. I'd be great at curating. I'd be the Great Curator. I could retire and do that. I could retire and be the curator of this place.

CURATOR: You know, I really think you might.

“If you think because she is dead I am weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her, and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all. So, for your own sake, understand this. I am the Doctor. I'm coming to find you, and I will never, ever stop.”

“They're not your rescuers. They're your replacements. The end point of capitalism. A bottom line where human life has no value at all. We're fighting an algorithm, a spreadsheet. Like every worker, everywhere, we're fighting the suits.”

“I really do remember, though. Every second with you. I'm so glad you're back, cos it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.”

“We can have more days, can't we? I mean, why is it such a big goodbye with you? Why is it one last trip? Cos you could visit with my family. We could do outrageous things, like have tea, or dinner, and a laugh. And Rose's school play. Well, maybe not that. She can't act. She's terrible. I don't know how to tell her. But the point is, you've been given a second chance. You can do things different this time. So why don't you do something completely new, and have some friends?”

DONNA: Was it me, or was Isaac Newton hot?

DOCTOR: He was, wasn't he? He was so hot. Oh! Is that who I am now?

DONNA: Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought…

“I was thinking… And let me finish, okay? I know I sound daft, but… I wonder how long they'll wait, Rose and Shaun and my mother. Standing there in that alley… waiting for the TARDIS to come back. What if we never do? And then time will pass. Rose will grow up, she'll have a life. She might go back to that alley once a year for old times' sake, but she'll move on. Not Shaun, though. He'll keep going back every single day. He's nice, you know. He's lovely. I hope you get to know him.”

“It's funny, cos I wonder where the TARDIS goes at random. Maybe it lands on some outcrop by the sea. And there's a tribe and they worship it for 100 years. Then they grow up and try to burn it. Then they get wise. They preserve it. Then they build a city all around it, till the TARDIS is just a tiny little dot, surrounded by skyscrapers and monorails. Time passes and the city falls. It all gets swept away. And there's the TARDIS… still on its outcrop… by the sea. She's the only thing I've got left.”

“It destroyed half the universe because of me. We stand here now on the edge of creation, a creation which I devastated. So, yes, I keep running. Of course I do. How am I supposed to look back on that?”

DONNA: You okay?

DOCTOR: I will be.

DONNA: When?

DOCTOR: A million years.

“Believe me, you do not want to make an enemy of humanity. I’ve faced monsters in my time - Daleks, Cybermen, Sontarans - all masters at war in their own way but nothing scares me quite so much as human beings’ capacity for vengeance.”

DOCTOR: It's my back.

RIVER: Your back?

DOCTOR: Yeah, my back's playing up. It simply refuses to carry the weight of an entirely pointless stratum of society who contribute nothing of worth to the world and crush the hopes and dreams of working people.

DOCTOR: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown in the air and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed forever!

DOCTOR: Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.

RIVER: Does sarcasm help?

DOCTOR: Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did?

DOCTOR: Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.

RIVER: No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

SARAH: You all done, Nick?

DALEK: I am not Nick.

DOCTOR: Time loop.

YASMIN: Time loop.

DAN: Groundhog Day. Same difference.

YASMIN: We're never going to get that moment on the beach where you tell me everything that happened to you, are we?

DOCTOR: Of course we will.

“Sometimes the best way to fight a fire is to make sure it doesn’t get started. I’m taking away your matches.”

“We go back a long, long way, the Doctor and I. We were at school together, we went out into the universe together. We’ve even killed each other a few times and that always gives you a very special bond with someone.”

LIV: I’ll stay, you know. As long as you need me

DOCTOR: We all need someone. That’s what hope is. Other people.

“Ohhh, the Cloister Bell. Always just that little bit too late to be of any real use, aren't you?”

DOCTOR: We’ll have the door open in a jiffy.

LIV: Except we still don’t know what’s out there.

HELEN: Please be careful!

DOCTOR: Are you scaredy cats?

HELEN: No

LIV: Just sensible

DOCTOR: Oh come on, we could sit here all day being sensible, we’d still be here next week, filling out risk assessment forms. And how boring would that be?

“Oh time lords! Honestly! You spend your whole life believing there’s only one left, then they start turning up like buses!”

CLARA: What are you doing?

MISSY: Murdering a Dalek. I'm a Time Lady. It's our golf.

(Inside the TARDIS)

VALARIE: How does she work?

DOCTOR: Big bit fits inside the small bit. It’s like an optical illusion except with dimensions and not an illusion, so nothing like an optical illusion I suppose.

HANDLES: Attention. Emergency. Attention.

DOCTOR: Handles, what is it? What's wrong?

HANDLES: Urgent action required. You must patch the telephone device back through the console unit.

YASMIN: Make a wish and skim it.

DOCTOR: I wish...

YASMIN: You can't say your wish out loud!

DOCTOR: You can where I'm from. I wish... I wish this would go on forever.

JAMIE: Well it's simple isn't it? All we've got to do is dig a tunnel through from here to the borehole and catch the seed device thing on it's way down. Well, it was just an idea.

DOCTOR: But Jamie, it's a brilliant idea! It's so simple only you could have thought of it.

JAMIE: Oh. Eh?

“Time And Relative Dimension In Space. TARDIS for short. You're safe in here. You're safe in here and you always will be.”

DOCTOR: The King's just died. How very convenient.

TURLOUGH: Not for him.

“You know, madness is the first sign of talking to yourself.”

MONK: This is your plan? You want to rob an intergalactic master criminal?

MISSY: Well, excuse me. I am an intergalactic master criminal too, y'know. The clue's in the name.

MONK: Come off it.

MISSY: Who threatened the whole universe with destruction using the science of Logopolis? Who overwrote all human DNA with their own? Who hijacked a Concorde dressed up as a sort of, you know, dodgy looking magician?

MONK: Yes, why did you do that?

MISSY: Well, not every plan is a winner. But if we play this one right, we'll get a tank full of plutonium and I'll have got hitched to one of the universe's most terrifying gangsters. I mean think of the size of the divorce settlement!

ROSSINI: (Italian) Who the heck are you? Well?

MASTER: I am usually referred to as the Master.

ROSSINI: Oh? Is that so?

MASTER: Universally.

JO: A translucent polyhedron, eight and a half inches in diameter.

(The Doctor grabs the file.)

DOCTOR: Well, that's the Nestene's energy unit. It should never have left this building.

JO: Apparently they wanted it for a special display. The Brigadier signed the authorisation.

DOCTOR: The Brigadier's an idiot!

“Nonsense. What you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw herself so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes and to tell you how brilliant you are. Miss Grant will fulfil that function admirably.”

MISSY: Apparently, you think you're going to die tomorrow.

DOCTOR: Well, I've got some good news about that.

MISSY: Oh, yeah?

DOCTOR: It's still today!

“If this universe has taught me anything, it's that you should always hold onto every moment you can, every hour, every minute, every second. Even when all hope is gone, you should still cling on, because you can never know what fresh hope the future may bring.”

ACE: But when?

DOCTOR: Are you looking for the butterfly?

ACE: What the one who beats its wings and tips the balance, so the hurricane forms? There isn't one, is there?

DOCTOR: Not often. They just tell the butterflies that to keep them happy.

ACE: I should have known.

DOCTOR: No, mostly they break the butterfly on the wheel of time. But over the decades, the millions of butterflies, the weather still changes somehow. That's time. A million, multi-coloured pieces of time.

ACE: You could turn it all around you know, reach your hand in and just... well, change everything!

DOCTOR: Yes. But then I'm a silly old man, with far too much time in his hands already.

“This is ridiculous! How can you go from plenty of time to running out of time in no time at all?”

“Do you know, Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”

“Immortality isn't living forever. That's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe.”

“Grandfather!”

SUSAN: I was going to say, why do you trust your people?

1ST ELDER: Why do you want to make me doubt them?

SUSAN: Trust can’t be taken for granted. It must be earned. I trust you, but only because I know you.

1ST ELDER: But Susan, our whole life is based on trust.

SUSAN: Yes, and that might be your downfall. Look you don’t trust the ground you walk on until you know it’s firm, do you. So why trust your people blindly?

1ST ELDER: When I listen to you, you who are so young among your own kind, I realise that we Sensorites have a lot to learn from the people of Earth.

SUSAN: Grandfather and I don’t come from Earth. Oh, it’s ages since we’ve seen our planet. It’s quite like Earth, but at night the sky is a burned orange, and the leaves on the trees are bright silver.

1ST ELDER: My mind tells me that you wish to see your home again, and yet there is a part of you which calls for adventure. A wanderlust.

SUSAN: Yes. Well, we’ll all go home some day. That’s if you’ll let us.

1ST ELDER: I think I will.

JAMIE: Doctor, come on, will ye? The whole place is going to blow up.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's quite all right, Jamie. The planet is quite safe. There's just going to be a localised volcanic eruption. It'll only affect the island.

JAMIE: Maybe so, but we happen to be on the island.

DOCTOR: Oh, my word!

DOCTOR: Come on, tell me you're impressed.

YASMIN: Oh, you're like a kid sometimes.

DOCTOR: Thanks! What, only sometimes?

MASTER: That's right, you tell me. And Ace! Or should I say Dorothy? Didn't the Doctor ditch you? No? Little fallout with your Machiavellian maestro?

ACE: Last time I saw you, you were half cat.

MASTER: A man's allowed to experiment.

I.M. FOREMAN: You’ve never been a woman, have you?

DOCTOR: I’m not sure I’ve ever even been a man.

LEELA: You have heightened olfactory senses?

ROMANA: Yes, I think so. Woah! They’re so strong! Each breath is like a blade in my breast! Clean, and sharp!

LEELA: Do I always speak in such plaintive metaphor?

ROMANA: It has a certain unpolished charm, does it not?

LEELA: I was so alone in the world of dreams when you left… The wildlands were dark and so quiet. I… I do not wish to be alone.

ROMANA: There will be a place for you with me. For always. Whatever face I wear.

RAYO: You could always help me feed the chickens if you like

NARVIN: Feed… chickens…? Right! Yes, of course. Happy to. Um… what am I meant to do exactly?

RAYO: Here, take a handful of seed. That’s it. now just scatter it in front of the coops. They’ll come to you

NARVIN: Right. (clears throat) Here, chicky chicky chicky!

RAYO: What are you doing?

NARVIN: Feeding them?

RAYO: Yeah, but… that noise you just made? What was that?

NARVIN: I thought that… perhaps… the chickens would like it?

“Did the Doctor go to school with anyone who didn’t turn out to be a Time Lord Super Criminal?!”

DOCTOR: Round and around, like a snake eating its own tail

HELEN: Ouroboros?

DOCTOR: Bless you.

LUCIE: What did you say it stood for again? Time And Relative Dimensions...

THE DOCTOR: Yes..

LUCIE: Time And Relative Dimensions In Shed.

THE DOCTOR: That is not what is stands for.

LUCIE: Yes it does. It's a shed.

(Miss Quill reading The Hunger Games)

MISS QUILL: Did this really happen?

EVELYN: Oh no. You are going to sing.

DOCTOR: Well, yes, I am.

ROMANA: K9 is a vicious robot criminal from the fifth galaxy. Aren’t you, K9?

K9: Affirmative!

ROMANA: Leela. Are you saying you’re afraid of me?

LEELA: You are also two people. The person I know, and the person you once were. Who

is… so different.

ROMANA: You’ve always known I was a Time Lord. Regeneration is a natural part of the

progression of our lives. Completely without consequence.

LEELA: One person cannot become many without consequence.

ROMANA: K9, what is tennis?

K9: Real, lawn or table, mistress?

ROMANA: Never mind. Forget it.

K9: Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. Memory erased.

CHURCHILL: Doctor, good to see you. Alhough that face...

DOCTOR: Isn't the one you were expecting? No, nor me - funny, I have that feeling every time I look in the mirror. I can't quite shake the feeling I should be Scottish...

CLARA: So, you must have thought I was dead for a while?

DOCTOR: Yeah.

CLARA: How was that?

DOCTOR: Longest month of my life.

CLARA: It could only have been five minutes.

DOCTOR: I'll be the judge of time.

BRAXIATEL: Mozart, Madam? The Magic Flute?

ROMANA: It purports to be. How K9 will ever understand beauty, I don’t know. Not when the only recordings he can access are so inadequate. He’ll just have to go to Salzburg.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, where you can be his star blazing queen of the night.

ROMANA: Don’t push it, Braxiatel.

LEELA: I could not return to the place I came from.

ROMANA: Well, yours is a special case.

NARVIN: How so, Madam President?

ROMANA: Because I say it is!

LEELA: I do not lie. I shall kill you, Time Lord.

TORVALD: Leela, please.

LEELA: I shall dangle your entrails before your dying eyes.

TORVALD: That’s… really horrible.

LEELA: I might stay here. It is as much a home as Gallifrey. Here, I would be of use.

ROMANA: But you can be of use to me.

LEELA: How is that?

ROMANA: I need someone to watch my back. A Presidential bodyguard.

LEELA: Me? A bodyguard? K9! I am to be a Presidential bodyguard!

LEELA: But will we not seem out of place at your summit? I warn you, I am not wearing your shiny, chafing city-clothes for seven days.

ROMANA: I don’t want you to. This is an undercover assignment.

LEELA: Oh?

ROMANA: And you will blend in beautifully just as you are.

K9: Affirmative. I am programmed in three levels of dance instruction. Beginners, intermediate, and specialise–

LEELA: No thank you, K9. I shall dance the fire dance of the Sevateem, though many years have passed since I last… I remember it still. I will not let Lexi die, K9. Tonight, I shall watch Flinkstab with the eyes of a hunting bird. He shall not strike.

BRAXIATEL: That fool Glower was actually going to set the thing off! As a scientific study!

ROMANA: But something stopped him.

BRAXIATEL: Right at the last moment. The device was dismantled and never spoken of again. Rumour has it that Narvin persuaded him to change his mind. Whatever happened, the CIA recruited Narvin and he’s never looked back.

LEELA: Except to see who stands behind him with a knife.

“I am Lady Romanadvoratrelundar, President of the Supreme Council of Gallifrey and all her dominions, holder of the wisdom of Rassilon, preserver of the Matrix, guardian of the legacy of Omega. But you can call me Romana, and I have come to present evidence.”

“One thing our President cannot be accused of is incompetence. She may be guilty of compassion, intuition, emotion, honesty, integrity - pragmatism, even. But she is supremely competent. That is the root cause of most of our problems.”

ROMANA: I didn’t believe it when Narvin told me. I didn’t want to believe it, but then I remembered reading up on the Braxiatel Collection, once. Long ago, on my travels.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, just a notion of mine at present. A way of doing what little I can to preserve the creations of lifekind from the ravages of time.

ROMANA: It’s a good idea. How long have you–

BRAXIATEL: A very long time. At first, I expected to be caught. At every deal, I expected Narvin or one of his cronies to be waiting for me. I suppose it was Project Alpha that set me off on it - knowing how close, how very close, we came to destroying so much.

ROMANA: So you set about saving it before another catastrophe.

BRAXIATEL: We live in a catastrophic universe!

NARVIN: This piece of equipment is essential to my mission.

ROMANA: Aha, and what might that be?

NARVIN: I might very well ask the same of you. This time zone is subject to the most stringent embargoes!

ROMANA: None of which apply to the President. I am free to go wherever and whenever I choose, without submitting a mountain of paperwork first, and I do find the Alpine air so refreshing.

NARVIN: Madam, the Alps are in the other direction.

ROMANA: Are they? Damn.

“I see you. I see my enemy in my enemy's clothes, and my heart runs cold, because I see, too, that the man I loved… is dead.”

ROMANA: Oh, Wynter, what am I going to do with you?

WYNTER: Call me Soggy-Boggy like everyone else.

ROMANA: I beg your pardon?

WYNTER: Uh- nothing. Uh- Madam. Uh- Madam President. It was just a name they, um, called me. At the Academy. They thought I was wet.

ROMANA: Yes, I’m sure. Well, we all got unpleasant nicknames at the Academy. I got used to mine. Why didn’t you get used to Soggy-Boggy?

BRAXIATEL: I do what I do for the benefit of Gallifrey. You are the best President it has had for… well, for a very, very long time.

ROMANA: I doubt this is over. Narvin will make capital of it, I’m sure.

BRAXIATEL: So will others. We’ll weather the storm.

ROMANA: This is going to be a trying time. For both of us. I’m glad you’re on my side. I feel we might have a chance.

BRAXIATEL: My President flatters me.

K9: Something has happened to Leela. Apparently, she has vanished. Literally.

ROMANA: When you say literally, K9, I assume you’re not talking figuratively. I find people who use the word literally when they don’t mean it literally very annoying.

K9: Leela has literally vanished, mistress.

LEELA: No. The spirit told me you would come.

ROMANA: Oh, come on.

LEELA: Do not mock me, Romana. You should know by now I am rarely wrong about such things.

ROMANA: Granted, you’re rarely wrong with your instincts, but… as for rational explanations of what you feel, well, that’s another story.

LEELA: You do not believe me?

ROMANA: I believe you that something is here alright. Just not that it’s a spirit, evil or otherwise.

LEELA: I never said it was evil.

ROMANA: Oh, well, I just assumed. I mean, they usually are with you.

K9: This unit does not have feelings, mistress.

LEELA: That is untrue, K9. Many times you and the other K9–

K9: Neither K9 unit possesses feelings, mistress.

LEELA: You should not be afraid of your feelings, K9.

ROMANA: Yes, thank you. If we can move on from the emotional support group session?

NARVIN: Braxiatel.

BRAXIATEL: Yes?

NARVIN: Thank you.

BRAXIATEL: Oh, don’t mention it. I mean that. To no one. I couldn’t bear the shame.

NARVIN: Of what?

BRAXIATEL: Saving your neck.

LEELA: Why did you shoot Narvin, K9? Not that I’m complaining.

K9: Pandora was only active by piggy-backing the brainwaves of an exceptionally intelligent Time Lord.

BRAXIATEL: Hence his lack of sleep. If Narvin had slept, Pandora’s power would have closed down. She must have accessed him ages ago.

ROMANA: Or, like me, it might be inherited, waiting for the right moment.

LEELA: I do not know which shocks me most, Romana. That you had a previous life, or that Narvin is considered one of the most intelligent Time Lords.

LEELA: I do not want him to find me. It is I who must find him. Am I so helpless? Yes. Here, in these stifling, sunless rooms of yours, perhaps I am. I have only one body. This one. I cannot change it. It will not wear your clothes, or walk your stilted pathways. I have only one voice inside me. This one. And my words can never be as clever as yours. I have only one mind, and it is steadfast, but small next to yours. I cannot grasp the games you play with people and their lives, and I do not wish to.

ROMANA: They’re not games I choose to play. I’m trying to defend myself. Trying to protect my world!

LEELA: Yes. It is your world, and not mine. Although I have lived here for many years, it has never been my home, and I am unhappy.

HAYDEN: It is a necessary evil.

DOCTOR: Oh I've met evils you wouldn't believe, gods and devils, warewolves and vampires, every monster every child's ever imagined creeping out from under the bed and you know what? They're all real. But a necessary evil - that's the only one that's a fiction.

LEELA: But I am not growing old.

ANDRED: No, you’re not. But I didn’t know that then. I didn’t realise that you are cursed just as we are.

LEELA: Cursed?

ANDRED: Living long enough to experience the consequences of our own actions down through the centuries. I wanted to change things, Leela. I wanted to make them better.

BRAXIATEL: Narvin. How do you do?

NARVIN: What’s this? You’re offering me something?

BRAXIATEL: Only my hand.

ANDRED: It’s a human custom. You say ‘How do you do?’ and clasp hands. A symbol of trust and friendship, apparently.

NARVIN: How uplifting. You’ll forgive me if I do not clasp hands with you, Andred.

BRAXIATEL: Seems like cheating? You wouldn’t make the same mistake, I take it?

NARVIN: I wouldn’t cheat, as you put it. Yes, if it was a valid political point, I would make it. I wouldn’t hesitate to destroy you, Braxiatel, but for the right reasons. In the proper way. Because you deserve it. Not because you don’t.

BRAXIATEL: A nice distinction.

NEELOC: Right! We’re the brightest minds in the Prydonian College. We’re following in the footsteps of the—

NEELOC, TAYLOR, GALADINA and B’ARECH: The Doctor.

TAYLOR: It’s always the Doctor with you.

NEELOC: Not just him. There were other people who broke away from Time Lord society, who went out there and- and did something!

B’ARECH: And in return, they’re vilified by the Gallifreyan establishment.

GALADINA: Some cases not without reason. The Master alone has been responsible–

NEELOC: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So some of them turned out bad. But the point is, they made a difference. And that’ll be us, guys! In a hundred years time, no one will care where we came from then! All that they’ll care about is that between us, the five of us, we’re going to make history!

“We learn from the mistakes of the past, Madam President. We have certainly learned a great deal from yours.”

K9: Suggestion. Use metal component as barter to obtain access to collected evidence from academy bombing.

LEELA: I do not think Narvin will barter this information.

K9: Then we will not give him our findings.

LEELA: K9, you are thinking like a Time Lord now.

K9: Compliments are unnecessary, mistress.

“Believe me when I say being close to you gives me no pleasure. I will not be in your way, but do not mock me. I am not Gallifreyan but that does not mean I am lower.”

“The Coordinator of the CIA does not ally himself with anyone. While the Madame President Romana is officially in office, I am, however, loyal to her.”

“I'm being set up! Again! It's obvious. Why would I help you if I was the terrorist? I'm being set up, I tell you. Surely even you can see that. You can't let her stab me, K9, it's not legal!”

“Vengeance is the warrior's code. We are, both of us, warriors in our ways. But whereas you use the word in battle, I use the knife. Which of us is better served?”

NARVIN: You're really loving this, aren't you?

LEELA: Bringing fire to these old dead places? Yes. It pleases me.

NARVIN: Didn't think it could be love for Romana that kept you here. After Andred's death...

LEELA: I am a warrior. At last, after so many years, your world offers me something I can understand. Battle, slaughter, the running of blood.

NARVIN: So many dead, and you welcome it.

LEELA: No! But I am ready for it.

ROMANA: This way, Leela.

LEELA: Why stay with me? You do not believe I can protect you any longer.

ROMANA: Our only exit leads onto the Outlands. How am I to survive there without you as my guide? Now, will you please take my hand, Leela? Thank you.

“The Outlands... always the biggest threat in my parents' arsenal. Behave yourself or we'll leave you in the outlands! And look what I was missing all those years by being good.”

ROMANA: I am fine.

LEELA: When a Time Lord says 'I am fine' it means they are not. Please, Romana, I am your friend. You can tell me what is wrong.

ROMANA: Friend? Thought I didn't have any. I can't afford to have any, especially in wartime.

LEELA: You are wrong. That is when you need them more than ever.

NARVIN: What makes you think I'll listen to any of your lies?

DARKEL: Because we both believe in and are bound to protect the old Gallifrey. The proud upright Gallifrey before it was corrupted and broken by Romana. She destroyed my memories, my past, my home. I want it back. You, me, we're on the same side.

NARVIN: You made me think that last time too. I looked a fool.

DARKEL: That was largely your own fault.

LEELA: You are putting yourself in danger.

ROMANA: Yes, I'm fighting back. It's about time too. I'm going to have to use myself as bait.

LEELA: Then I will be there by your side to protect you.

ROMANA: Oh, I hope so. You being there is really rather vital to the plan.

VALYES: Narvin? Oh, oh my dear chap. I do apologise. I thought your were an alien come to kill me.

NARVIN: I quite understand, sir. We all have days like that.

MATTHAIS: No, I told you, you must get me to the Panopticon.

LEELA: Matthais, I know about wounds and that burn-

MATTHAIS: Look, will you stop arguing, you stupid sa- I apologise, that was crass of me. You just saved my life. It really was an unforgvable thing to say.

LEELA: A man should wear his true colours. Why should I care that you show yours?

“We've had our differences in the past, Romana but now you have my full support. If Darkel, after everything she has done... I would not in all conscience be able to support her term of office. If she attains the presidency, I shall resign.”

NARVIN: Leela, have you found K9?

LEELA: Thank you Narvin, I am fine. How are you?

NARVIN: I take it from your rather coarse sarcasm that you have.

RAZOR: Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?

BILL: What's the difference?

RAZOR: I call one good, one bad.

BILL: Er, I'll take the good one.

RAZOR: Excellent, positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.

BILL: What horror?

RAZOR: Mainly the tea.

DARKEL: So is your argument that you are still president?

ROMANA: No, I-

DARKEL: In which case why are we having an election?

ROMANA: You know very well-

DARKEL: In which case did you resign?

ROMANA: Darkel, you are twisting-

DARKEL: In which case why was there no resignation speech? I'm told it is unheard of for a president to resign without naming their successor.

ROMANA: If you'll just let me get a word in-

DARKEL: Why no named successor?

ROMANA: Darkel!

“I'm a spy, not a politician. That means even I don't know whose side I'm on.”

LEELA: Do what can we do?

ROMANA: I'd like to know what Matthais is up to. I thought he was on our side.

LEELA: Narvin says he is a politician so he is on no-one's side but his own.

ROMANA: Ah, but I am a politician too, Leela.

LEELA: That is alright. Narvin says it does not apply to you as you are so naive.

ROMANA: Thanks a bunch! Though he could be right. So you've been spending time with Narvin? You're keeping pretty dodgy company these days, aren't you Leela?

NARVIN: Leela cannot see, Cardinal, only hear. And her hearing is vastly better than your eyesight, I imagine.

LEELA: Yes, I- thank you, Narvin.

ROMANA: He means that they're busy with something urgent that's getting out of control.

LEELA: I know. I only say things like that to tease the guards, and also because it means they don't always take me seriously and say things I can hear, things they think I will not I understand.

ROMANA: You never cease to amaze me.

LEELA: So finally, the evil, twisted creature is gone forever.

NARVIN: And Darkel is dead.

LEELA: That is what I meant.

LEELA: Perhaps I should clean our your ears with my blade.

K9: Be advised! Mistress Leela advocates unsafe medical procedure.

“So much for non-intervention. Would anyone else care to join this conga over Rassilon's grave?”

“Captain Henzil! Henzil! I am an ex-president, get me out of here!”

“My back looks like a pin cushion the number of times I've been stabbed in it.”

BRAX: Braxiatel. Irving Braxiatel. I was President of Gallifrey once.

ROMANA: Pah, only just. Who was it said, in the future everyone will be President of Gallifrey for all of 15 minutes?

“We had a pact, me and him. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don't think she ever saw anything.”

“You've got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you're going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you've already survived. There's a storm room in your mind. Lock the door and think. This is my storm room. I always imagine that I'm back in my TARDIS, showing off, telling you how I escaped, making you laugh. That's what I'm doing right now. I am falling, Clara. I'm dying. And I am going to explain to you how I survived. I can't wait to hear what I say. I'm nothing without an audience.”

CYBERLEADER: You are not from this world. You are a Timelord.

DOCTOR: Oh, is that why my body keeps changing? I just thought it was vindictive puberty.

BONNIE: It's not fair.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's not fair! Oh, I didn't realise that it was not fair! You know what? My TARDIS doesn't work properly and I don't have my own personal tailor.

BONNIE: The things don't equate.

DOCTOR: These things have happened, Zygella, they are facts. You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. You're not superior to people who were cruel to you, you're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. A whole bunch of new cruel people being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. Why don't you break the cycle?

BONNIE: Why should we?

DOCTOR: What is it that you actually want?

BONNIE: War.

DOCTOR: Ah, ah right! And when this war is over, when you have a homeland free from humans, what do you think it's going to be like? Do you know? Have you thought about it? Have you given it any consideration? Because you're very close to getting what you want. What's it going to be like? Paint me a picture. Are you going to live in houses? Do you want people to go to work? Will there be holidays? Oh! Will there be music? Do you think people will be allowed to play violins? Who's going to make the violins? Well? Oh, you don't actually know, do you? Because, like every other tantrumming child in history, Bonnie, you don't actually know what you want. So, let me ask you a question about this brave new world of yours. When you've killed all the bad guys, and when it's all perfect and just and fair, when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you? The troublemakers. How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?

BONNIE: We'll win.

DOCTOR: Oh, will you? Well, maybe... maybe you will win! But nobody wins for long. The wheel just keeps turning. So, come on. Break the cycle.

BONNIE: Why are you still talking?

Because I want to get you to see, and I'm almost there!

BONNIE: You know what I see, Doctor? A box. A box with everything I need. A 50% chance.

KATE: For us, too.

DOCTOR: And we're off! Fingers on buzzers! Are you feeling lucky? Are you ready to play the game? Who's going to be quickest? Who's going to be the luckiest?

KATE: This is not a game!

DOCTOR: No, it's not a game, sweetheart, and I mean that most sincerely.

BONNIE: Why are you doing this?

KATE: Yes, I'd quite like to know that, too. You set this up -- why?

DOCTOR: Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought, right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning -- sit down and talk! Listen to me. Listen, I just... I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's a fancy word for changing your mind.

BONNIE: I will not change my mind.

DOCTOR: Then you will die stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box, you can walk right out of that door and you could stand your revolution down.

BONNIE: No! I'm not stopping this, Doctor. I started it. I will not stop it. You think they'll let me go, after what I've done?

DOCTOR: You're all the same, you screaming kids. You know that? "Look at me, I'm unforgivable." Well, here's the unforeseeable. I forgive you... after all you've done. I forgive you.

BONNIE: You don't understand. You will never understand.

DOCTOR: I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. You mean, you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes... I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight... till it burns your hand, and you say this... No one else will ever have to live like this! No one else will have to feel this pain! Not on my watch!

DOCTOR: Now, do you see this mad woman sitting in this chair? Her name isn't Doctor Who. My name is Doctor Who.

NARDOLE: It's not, is it?

DOCTOR: I like it.

DOCTOR: When does all this stop for you? The games, the betrayals, the killing?

MASTER: Why would it stop? I mean, how else would I get your attention?

MISSY: I am your friend.

DOCTOR: Makes no difference.

MISSY: I know it doesn't. I know I'm going to die. I have to say it, the truth. Without hope. Without witness. Without reward. I am your friend.

BRAX: All for one and one for all!

LEELA: It is just the five of us now, to make of this strange world what we can. To protect and respect and love each other.

ROMANA: Love?

NARVIN: After everything we've been through, it's obvious what we should have done a long time ago.

LEELA: It is our wish to be married.

ROMANA: What, you and narvin?

LEELA: Yes, and to share the rest of our lives in this magical paradise.

K9: This unit has been programmed to perform the ceremony.

ROMANA: How romantic...

BRAX: And, if i had a white charger, Romana, it would be my privilege to carry you off into the sunset.

ROMANA: Braxiatel!?

BRAX: Oh call me Irving, please, sweet lady. You must have suspected.

ROMANA: Well, no! Not really!

BRAX: Could you, somehow find it in your heart to grant me the enormous honour of taking your hand in marriage?

ROMANA: Uh... I'm not sure...

BRAX: Please, say you will.

ROMANA: Um, well, it's all so sudden, so unexpected!

K9: Castellan K9, mistress.

ROMANA: Will you please deal with his delusions of grandeur, Leela?

LEELA: Castellan K9, as President of the High Council I relieve you of your command. From this moment, you will be only known as K9.

ROMANA: I want to live, but not as I am. Not as the woman who put her home before her son. I want to look in the mirror and see someone else. Perhaps if I'd cared more for him than his reputation...

“Welcome to my world. The world of darkness and confusion where you are trapped with only yourself for company. You taunted me for living in a world of blackness and night; now that is your world too. You have strayed from the path in the jungle, where the monsters of imagination tread and there is no escape.”

NARVIN: What are you doing? We don't have time for games.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: You should be dead.

NARVIN: Thank you, it has mentioned. Now where are you?

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: Here. Or here, perhaps?

NARVIN: Leela, stop being stupid - diffcult, I know, for you, but listen to me. If we wander around down here long enough, our presence will probably bring the whole roof falling down around our heads.

INTERROGATOR GENERAL: I shall bring you down you traitorous wretch.

LEELA: Why would I kill you?

NARVIN: You tell me.

LEELA: You are annoying and conceited, and look down on me as a savage when I am not, but those are not reasons to kill you.

“Oh yes, I saved your life, Narvin. And what a trauma that's turned out to be!”

NARVIN: The selfish, old-

ROMANA: If he does survive, the universe will change to accomodate him. Timelines will flex and move. He'll just pick up where he left off. You know what he's like. What he was like.

LEELA: I shall miss him.

NARVIN: Me, too.

ROMANA: Really, Narvin?

NARVIN: I learned a lot from Braxiatel.

ROMANA: You're right. The selfish, old-

LEELA: Perhaps he will survive.

BRAX: I'm sorry, but, have we met?

BENNY: Yes. But perhaps not yet.

BRAX: Ah. Then this is probably going to be one of those awkward converations where we don't know what to say or, what tense not to say it in. Are we going to be friends? I'm sorry, but it's best to be sure of these things.

BENNY: Absolutely. I mean yes. We are going to be friends. You came to my wedding.

BRAX: Will I? Well, how nice. Um, Irving Braxiatel, by the way - oh, but then, of course, you know that.

BENNY: Delighted to meet you. Again. I'm Professor Bernice Summerfield. But as you're definitely going to be my friend, you can call me Benny.

LEELA: Romana, I am your friend, and as such, I must speak freely.

ROMANA: You always do.

LEELA: No. No, I do not, but you often believe I do. Rarely do I speak what is on my mind, for I do not always understand what it is that you and Narvin and Braxiatel are saying.

ROMANA: Well, I've always admired your turn of phrase, your direct approach. Your bluntness. I'm not sure how much more honest you could be.

LEELA: You are a fool.

ROMANA: Ah, well, okay. I wasn't expecting that.

LEELA: He was your friend, as I am, as K9 is, as Narvin is.

ROMANA: Good grief, if we've got to the stage where you think Narvin and I are friends, we really must be in an alternative reality.

LEELA: I will not sit and let you sulk any longer.

ROMANA: Did you just say your presdient was sulking?

LEELA: You are not my president, Romana. I doubt you are anyone's president any longer.

NARVIN: Madame President.

ROMANA: Narvin, I am, as has been pointed out by our friend here, no longer entitled to be called your President. Just Romana will suffice.

NARVIN: You are still my President, my lady.

ROMANA: Ah, that's more like it. Narvin and Leela at each other's throats, just like the good old days. Well come on then. If I'm going to keep you two in check, I'll need to talk to K9 about exactly what it is we're letting ourselves in for.

NARVIN: That was your plan to get her out and about again? Insulting me?

LEELA: It worked, did it not? Besides, insulting you is one of the few remaining pleasures I enjoy. You would not deny me that, would you?

LEELA: Did that scream not relight the fires in your hearts?

NARVIN: No, it terrified me. and before you get smart about it, yes I am a coward, and no I am not a warrior, alright? Have we successful established that?

LEELA: Fear not, brave Time Lord. Sightless Leela shall protect you from the shadows.

“As the destroyer of worlds... Lord Prydon sits inside your head, Lord Prydon lives among the dead...”

“War should not be simple. War should be tactical and brave, fought with guile and cunning. Otherwise it is just a game for cowards and politicians, for those who pretend to know courage, but do not.”

BORUSA: How is this possible?

LEELA: For my pulse to be different to yours? For my breathing to go faster? I am not of this world, Borusa. But my heart, my single human heart, it is willing to fight for the place that is now my home.

“The hound has fallen. Farewell, brave creature. May you hunt eternal in the wastelands of whatever afterlife you believed in. Farewell, Braxiatel. Again.”

LEELA: Narvin, truthfully. What difference would it make if I was no longer here?

NARVIN: Truly? Without you Leela, what do I have left? If Romana's dead-

LEELA: She cannot be dead.

NARVIN: No, but if she is, well. I can't survive like this. I need you to... to...

LEELA: Protect you?

NARVIN: Oh, stop enjoying this. I feel bad enough admitting it. We've already lost Brax, now Romana... you and I are all that's left of Gallifrey.

NARVIN: For the last time, Leela, slow down. I should have put you on a leash.

LEELA: I heard that.

LEELA: You have never really liked me, have you Narvin?

NARVIN: Not much. I think you'd agree we were thrown together. But Romana likes you. I suppose that's all I need these days. But I... um... I certainly respect you, Leela.

LEELA: Good. That is better than being liked. Thank you, Narvin.

LEELA: He will not leave us Romana. We are a team.

NARVIN: Sometimes, Leela, I really do hate you.

LEELA: I know. It is good to actually see you smile, Narvin.

LEELA: It is good to be free from those tunnels. Although I enjoyed learning that you have a fear of spiders.

NARVIN: Only six inch ones with fangs dripping venom.

LEELA: The poor creature back there was not more than the size of a baby's thumb!

NARVIN: Well, they look bigger when they fall on your face.

ROMANA: And not to put to fine a point on it, Chancellor, but as my second in command, you stand to gain the most from my death.

ALT NARVIN: Of course. But then, I assume that's why you married me. As your husband, I have nothing to gain from your death and everything to lose.

ROMANA: Oh, Romana...

“Whole civilisations lie im ashes because of what I've done. Fear me, Chancellor. Because I do.”

“I don't like it, Narvin, but I've made a promise to people I care about. And if it means I have to rearrange the stars in every constellation from here to Alpha Centauri, then I will.”

ROMANA: I wonder what the odds are that every Narvin in the multiverse is power mad and unpleasant.

K9: I shall calculate.

ROMANA: Don't bother, K9. I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

“Leela, you are a wonder. I turn my back on you for a single span, and you organise an entire rebellion.”

“I always wanted to be Rassilion and bring the power of time and space to Gallifrey, but if I can't do that, at least I can fulfil his real plan and save it. I leave this Gallifrey to you, Romana. Make it yours. Teach it your ways. Then, perhaps, my people can be Time Lords too, one day.”

DOCTOR: Grace, let me in. We can sit down, we can have a cup of tea, we can talk about this reasonably.

GRACE: Sure, Time lord to Earthling.

DOCTOR: Yes, that's right. I am a Time Lord.

GRACE: I thought you were a doctor.

DOCTOR: I thought you were a doctor!

GRACE: I am calling an ambulance to take you back to Psychiatric from which you have obviously escaped!

SUSAN Q: I woke up one morning.

ACE: I know that song.

SUSAN Q: There's a million blues songs start like that. But I did wake up one morning, and suddenly something was very clear. I couldn't go on smiling. Smiling while my friends disappeared, wearing this uniform and smiling and trying to pretend I'm something I'm not. Trying to pretend that I'm happy. Better to let it end. Better to just relax and let it happen. I woke up one morning and I realised it was all over.

ACE: Look, I'm sorry.

SUSAN Q: I think we'll abandon our rehearsal.

ACE: I'm not Happiness Patrol material anyway. They stand for everything I hate. Like you said, smiling all the time, smiling when it doesn't mean anything. I'm not one of them. I can't play an instrument, I can't dance, I can't sing.

SUSAN Q: No, but there is something you might be very good at.

ACE: Oh, yeah?

SUSAN Q: A disappearing act.

ACE: What do I have to do?

SUSAN Q: It's simple. I give you this key, then I close my eyes, and when I open them, you've gone.

(The Master had donned an ornate Time Lord ceremonial robe.)

MASTER: I always dress for the occasion.

“Hiding in crypts doesn’t make you look evil, Childeric. Just rather sulky and antisocial.”

HENDRICKS: If you kill me Doctor, then I’ll ensure that you die as well.

DOCTOR: Go on then. Try.

HENDRICKS: I’ll pay every bounty Hunter - every mercenary, find everyone that hates you. Wherever that box of yours arrives, someone will be there waiting to kill you!

DOCTOR: I look forward to it. Daleks, Cybermen, mad Gods, whatever you can arrange. I’ll beat them all. And you’ll still be dead.

HENDRICKS: You can’t know that!

DOCTOR: I can. Because I’ve fought every abomination in the universe. And the only thing that’s ever stopped me is my conscience!

HENDRICKS: And is that conscience willing to have my death weighing on it? Mine and everyone else on this planet.

DOCTOR: I destroyed my home world! I’m haunted every day by the millions I had to sacrifice! I can cope with a few more. Question is, are you ready to join them?

DOCTOR: Whatever you want with me, fine. But save my friends. Don't let the Cybermen take them. If the history between us means anything to you...

MASTER: I do believe you're appealing to my better nature. And we both know I don't have one. I'm not going to help them, and neither are you. And the history between us does mean something. It's the rage and pain in my hearts.

JERICHO: How did you get in here?

DOCTOR: Your door was open.

JERICHO: It most certainly was not!

DOCTOR: Well, it was once I opened it but let's not get bogged down in the order of things.

DOCTOR: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other.

MASTER: Are you asking me out on a date?

DOCTOR: I'm here.

MASTER: Doctor.

DOCTOR: Master.

MASTER: I like it when you use my name.

MASTER: Dying in your arms. Happy now?

DOCTOR: You're not dying. Don't be stupid. It's only a bullet. Just regenerate.

MASTER: No.

DOCTOR: One little bullet. Come on.

MASTER: I guess you don't know me so well. I refuse.

DOCTOR: Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate. Come on.

MASTER: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?

DOCTOR: You've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons. Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else. Regenerate!

MASTER: How about that. I win. Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?

DOCTOR: Why are you doing this?

MISSY: I need you to know we're not so different. I need my friend back.

CLARA: Since when do you care about the Doctor?

MISSY: Since always. Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie. Can you guess which one?

CLARA: He's not your friend. You keep trying to kill him.

MISSY: He keeps trying to kill me. It's sort of our texting. We've been at it for ages.

CLARA: Mmm. Must be love.

MISSY: Oh, don't be disgusting. We're Time Lords, not animals. Try, nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain, and contemplate friendship. A friendship older than your civilisation, and infinitely more complex.

MISSY: It's a confession dial.

CLARA: A what?

MISSY: In your terms, a will. The Last Will and Testament of the Time Lord known as the Doctor, to be delivered, according to ancient tradition, to his closest friend, on the eve of his final day.

(Clara reaches for it, and gets an electric shock.)

MISSY: Ah, ah! What are you doing?

CLARA: You said. I thought.

MISSY: No, no, no, no, no. It was delivered to me.

CLARA: You?

MISSY: Well of course it was sent to me. What have you got to do with it? I'm his friend. You're just

CLARA: I'm just what?

MISSY: See that couple over there?

(A man and a woman walk through with their dog.)

MISSY: You're the puppy.

CLARA: How can you and the Doctor be friends?

MISSY: Why shouldn't we be?

CLARA: You spend all your time fighting.

MISSY: Exactly.

DOCTOR: Yes, and that extraordinary quarrel I had with that English king, Henry the Eighth. You know, he threw a parson's nose at me.

BARBARA: What did you do?

DOCTOR: Threw it back, of course. Take them to the Tower, he said. That's why I did it.

BARBARA: Why?

SUSAN: The TARDIS was inside the Tower.

“Confusing, isn’t it? When you don’t know who the bad guys are.”

DOCTOR: Sometimes, if you stare at a painting for too long and get too close to it, all you can see are the brushstrokes. The harder you stare, the more formless and meaningless it seems to become.

NYSSA: And that’s your analogy for the whole of the universe, is it? A painting you don’t want to look at too closely in case it doesn’t mean anything?

DOCTOR: I don’t know. Sometimes I think of it that way, yes.

“As for making a difference, I don’t think we really influenced anything at all.”

BILL: You said. I remember, you said you could fix this. That you could get me back. Did you say that?

DOCTOR: I did say that, yes.

BILL: Were you lying?

DOCTOR: No.

BILL: Were you right?

DOCTOR: No.

“That's better. If we're all going to die, we might as well do it in piece.”

“Something of an irony, I always think, when a time machine is late arriving.”

“You say tomato, I say genetically modified bioweapon!”

BILL: Doctor, you okay?

DOCTOR: Bill, I've got no TARDIS, no sonic, about ten minutes of oxygen left, and now I'm blind. Can you imagine how unbearable I'm going to be when I pull this off?

DOCTOR: A gentleman at last. Doctor von Wer, at your service.

SERGEANT: Doctor who?

DOCTOR: (sotto) That's what I said.

DOCTOR: Your eyes, man. You suffer from headaches?

PERKINS: No, I don't.

(The Doctor bangs Perkins' head on the desk.)

DOCTOR: No headaches?

PERKINS: Well, er. Ow!

(Another thump.)

DOCTOR: Oh dear. You call me a liar?

PERKINS: Well, no, no, no, no. Me head does ache.

DOCTOR: I’ve seen Slake and the others now. They don’t deserve to be kept alive. Not at the cost of other’s suffering and death.

SAM: Isn’t that my line?

DOCTOR: Of course, you were right.

SAM: But what about all that stuff you were saying, about everyone having the right to live-

DOCTOR: Oh, that’s right as well.

HARRIS: But they completely contradict each other?

DOCTOR: You’re right too. Now all you need to do is figure out how we can all be right at the same time, then you’ll have it.

DOCTOR: A meteor storm. The sky above us was dancing with lights. Purple, green and brilliant yellow! Yes!

GRACE: What?

DOCTOR: These shoes! They fit perfectly. Yes.

“What do you want me to be? Someone who knows exactly what he’s doing and has it all under control, or just some fellow who makes it up as he goes along, and still makes it happen? Which do you want it to be? Magic tricks, or magic?”

STOTZ: All right, snoop. Hands in the air and over here.

DOCTOR: Why?

STOTZ: Because I'll kill you if you don't.

DOCTOR: Not a very persuasive argument actually, Stotz, because I'm going to die soon anyway. Unless, of course

STOTZ: I'll give you to a count of three.

DOCTOR: Unless, of course, I can find the antidote. I owe it to my friend to try because I got her into this. So you see, I'm not going to let you stop me now!

STOTZ: Three!

(As the planet surface fills the screen, the Doctor shuts his eyes.)

“This planet is ours. It always has been.”

It was a conference call, three separate images appearing in squares on the walls, like portraits without frames. Each image stabilized at a different rate, coming in over different routes, via satellites then through Northern Global’s landlines.

The first caller was an Oriental woman. She was calling from an office. O’Hara could see some of the equipment on her desk at the edge of the image. She said nothing, not even looking up into the phone, continuing to work at something while waiting for the conference circuit to complete.

The second caller was young. Perhaps sixteen. He was dressed in a bathrobe, hair wet from a shower. He greeted O’Hara, combing his hair while he waited for the call to begin.

The third image remained a blank square of mint green. O’Hara couldn’t tell if it was the wall behind the phone or some kind of computer-generated blind. Finally a woman stepped into frame. O’Hara didn’t recognize her.

MR PEGRAM’S PHYSICIAN: Hello, can you hear me?

JO: I'm your new assistant.

DOCTOR: Oh, no.

JO: The Brigadier sent me along to introduce myself, Doctor. Josephine Grant.

DOCTOR: How do you do, Miss Grant? I really don't think you're suitable.

DOCTOR: You know Tegan, sometimes I wonder how well I'd get along without you.

TEGAN: Thank you.

DOCTOR: Probably quite alright, all things considered. Now, a fresh cup of tea would be terribly useful.

TEGAN: Yeah? Well, you know where the kitchen is.

K9: coughs

DOCTOR: Do that again.

K9: coughs again

DOCTOR: Say "ah".

K9: scratchy "ah" sound

DOCTOR: Ah! Laryngitis! How can a robot catch laryngitis? I mean, what do you need it for?

BARBARA: Are you saying you don't know how to work this thing?

DOCTOR: Of course I can't! I'm not a miracle worker!

MASTER: In the wrong hands it could prove a very powerful tool. And I, Doctor Chenka, am very much the wrong hands.

LIV: And there was I thinking you were very much a powerful tool.

HELEN: Liv?

LIV: Hm?

HELEN: You’ve done this more than I have. What’s the standard amount of time we leave it before we follow him?

LIV: About three minutes.

NARVIN: Never change, Leela. You are the one rock in this whole turbulent universe.

LEELA: Thank you, I think.

DOCTOR: Do you know Puff the Magic Dragon?

BERNICE: We went out a few times. He was very immature.

DOCTOR: Do you know the bit where Jackie Paper leaves him? Leaves him all alone?

BERNICE: I really don’t want to hear this.

DOCTOR: The dragon can’t be brave without the little boy. He doesn’t have anything to be brave for. He might as well go, might as well drift off into myth, and just be something in old stories.

BERNICE: But what would happen then? There are other monsters, other terrible things out there beside the Hoothi.

DOCTOR: Many of them. Yes.

BERNICE: Well, they must be fought. Because—and this is important. You can’t just be alone. That’s a childish thing to be. You can’t just isolate yourself from everything, no matter what terrible things have happened. You have to help other people.

DOCTOR: That’s what Jackie Paper would have said.

BERNICE: Oh. Oh, I see.

DOCTOR: What do you think?

TASLO: So, what’s the plan?

DOCTOR: The plan is… that we’re going to improvise.

TASLO: That’s kind of the opposite of a plan.

DOCTOR: Precisely. A plan means we’re being predictable. If we’re going to uncover what the council is really up to… best if they can’t follow what we’re doing.

BARCLAY: Hold on a minute. I saw you, mate. You had that thing, that machine. Did you make this happen?

DOCTOR: Oh, humans on buses, always blaming me. Look, look, if you must know, I was tracking a hole in the fabric of reality. Call it a hobby. But it was a tiny little hole. No danger to anyone. Suddenly it gets big, and we drive right through it.

DOCTOR: There goes my plan A

SARAH JANE: Is there a plan B?

DOCTOR: Eh. Plan B would never work, we'll try plan C.

“I can predict the stock market!”

LIV: There can’t be two of you here, surely, not simultaneously

BRUCE MASTER: Ha ha ha, it does break the laws of time

WAR MASTER: Yeah but we don’t generally pay much attention to laws. I think we’ll get away with it.

HELEN: Does that mean the woman that captured me was working for them? For the Masters?

DOCTOR: Could be, maybe The Rani? He partnered with her once.

LIV: The Rani?

DOCTOR: Another old school friend of mine. Also evil.

LIV: What were they teaching you at your school?

LIV: You’ll think of something. That’s what happens!

DOCTOR: What if I can’t?

HELEN: There’ll be a way out, there always is.

DOCTOR: No, there’s not. Well that’s true every time, except one - except with what gets you.

HELEN: But, I-

DOCTOR: You think we’re doing something special? Surviving whatever life’s thrown at you so far isn’t a skill! It’s called ‘still being alive’. Everyone you’ve ever met has done it, by definition.

HELEN: I suppose that’s true.

DOCTOR: Just because we’ve managed to muddle through everything so far doesn’t mean we always will. There’s always a way out, until there isn’t. One time, you don’t have an escape route. And for us, I think this might be that time.

LIV: As a med tech, there’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t said to a hundred grieving families over the years. I’ve seen people die, I’ve had to break the news to bereaved relatives. Tell weeping widows that’s it’s going to get better, and it’s a rotten job to do - every time. That’s why I don’t give up. Not until I’m certain. I try and I try until there’s no hope at all, until every last option is exhausted and then I keep trying. I keep hoping for a - a miracle

HELEN: Miracles don’t happen

LIV: Not if you don’t make them.

“It’s only worth giving up if you’ve given it the best shot you’ve got.”

EMILY BARNFATHER: Who are you Doctor?

DOCTOR: I am me.

(The Doctor is humming as he tweaks the Tardis controls. Door opens and closes.)

EVELYN: Good morning, Doctor. Good morning, Evelyn. I say, I like your new cardigan. Very fetching. Hmm. Well, I've made us some breakfast. It's nothing much, just some scrambled eggs, bacon, some toast, freshly brewed tea. Only took me a few minutes to rustle up. No bother at all. It's not as though it was your turn or anything. I keep meaning to ask you how the kitchen restocks itself. Every morning there are exactly six eggs and a fresh pint of milk in the fridge. And if I didn't know better, I'd say the bread was freshly baked too. You don't keep nipping out to the Co-Op when I'm asleep, do you? Doctor!

DOCTOR: Hmm? Oh. Oh, good morning, Evelyn. I say, I like your new cardigan. Very fetching.

EVELYN: Sometimes you amaze me.

DOCTOR: Oh, good. Because I stopped amazing myself two centuries ago. Sorry, I'm a bit distracted this morning. Ooo, tea. Lovely. Four sugars?

EVELYN: Of course. Just the way you like it.

(Drinks, smacks lips.)

EVELYN: What are you up to that's made you skip breakfast?

DOCTOR: Hmm? Oh er, just a few systems upgrades. Certain functions have been neglected over the years, disconnected. Thought I'd take the time to do a little, oh, housekeeping.

EVELYN: That's not like you. You'll do anything to put off doing repairs. Out with it. What aren't you telling me?

DOCTOR: Well, there are some functions that were included in all Tardises from the Type Zero onwards, at the command of Rassilon himself.

EVELYN: And you've suddenly discovered the need for one of those systems.

THE NINE: I spy with my little eye something beginning wiiiiiiith...F

THE SEVEN: Floor.

THE NINE: No, Seven, incorrect. Try again.

THE FOUR: Weeell, there's nothing in here, so, featureless cell, obviously.

THE NINE: Obviously not, Four. Have another go.

THE SIX: Flayed corpses.

THE NINE: What? Six, where are you even looking?

THE SIX: Are we supposed to be looking, I was exploring my imagination. It's rather fun.

(NOT SURE WHICH ONE THIS IS :(): Clearly the answer, Nine, is failed regeneration. You've let us all down, you imbecile, trapped us in a cell of your own making and now you expect us to play games!

THE NINE: It's food machine, you idiots. There's literally nothing else in here, it's what they used to get out, how could you miss it?

(AGAIN, NOT SURE): Oh yes, does seem obvious now you mention it.

THE NINE: Were you all, winding me up?

(NOT SURE): Us, ha. Heaven forfend, would we?

THE NINE: Yes, I won't play if your being like that. Then we can all be bored together.

(Someone enters the prison they're in)

THE NINE: Wait, did you hear that?

(NOT SURE): Of course I did cretin, we've the same ears.

DOCTOR: We’re not lost, Charley. Think of it more as we’ve “gone on holiday by mistake”.

CHARLEY: Doctor, that’s life with you all over!

DOCTOR: What can I say? I’m the original accidental tourist.