The Stone’s Lament

Bernice Summerfield

#2.02. The Stone’s Lament ~ 7/10

◆ An Introduction

A planet made entirely of rocks and filled with thunderstorms. Bleak, desolate, and the perfect place to go on holiday if you’re having a mid-life crisis and have a taste for My Chemical Romance. Welcome to Rhinvil… where Benny is going to meet a rather disturbing fan.

◆ Publisher’s Summary

Bratheen Traloor, reclusive billionaire, has lived alone for over twenty years on the planet Rhinvil.

Now he has broken his isolation, inviting Bernice Summerfield to examine a mysterious artefact unearthed during building work at his sprawling mansion.

Accompanying Benny is Adrian Wall, the Kiloran construction manager from the Braxiatel Collection. Adrian is responsible for overseeing the work, but his construction crew has vanished, and soon he and Benny discover that Traloor is not as alone as they might think…

◆ Prof. Bernice Summerfield

Lisa Bowerman does a pretty good job in ‘The Stone’s Lament’.

Benny thinks the artefact on Rhinvil sounds interesting, so she’s been up bright and early to do a little bit of homework on the planet, and their host. It’s clear that Adrian has some rather different views on archaeology to her, and she’s appalled at his lack of respect for history – what point is progress if the past ends up destroyed in the process? Benny believes that people tend to just complicate your life, but that she’s just gotten used to the complications. The archaeologist's life suits her; something that gives her a lot of pleasure. She thinks archaeology has a lot more life in it than you may expect. Benny is quite rightfully horrified at the obsessive collection of her photographs Traloor has compiled.

◆ Adrian Wall

This episode is notable for introducing possibly my favourite character in the whole range: a seven foot Killoran who got his rocks off with Benny, not realising that she was possessed by an evil witch named Avril Fenman – trust me, we’ll be discussing the novels from this series in due course. Voicing our favourite big dog is the wonderful Harry Myers, who delivers a top notch debut performance.

Adrian is convinced that Traloor is barking mad for wanting to settle on Rhinvil. He can think of far more comfortable ways of getting some privacy, like a pleasure station or a private island. It never ceases to amaze him that Benny can dig up anything at all with a few trowels and brushes… as he’d rather focus on using a JCB to dig the biggest hole possible! Killorans are apparently born uncouth, but Benny vouches for Adrian, and claims that he is a good man. Adrian decides to get hammered in Traloor’s bar, and then nearly cacks himself when someone pretending to be Benny starts shouting after him!

◆ Story Recap

Barren, rocky, and surrounded by thunderstorms: that’s the best way to describe the desolate planet of Rhinvil. Nobody ever wants to come here, so it’s the perfect place for a reclusive billionaire to build his gigantic mansion.

Bratheen Traloor is in the midst of having a new wing built onto his home, with plans to turn it into a gallery for any artefacts he comes across during his amateur archaeological expeditions. Only, something has went very wrong on the planet’s surface.

It appears that the Killoran construction crew have vanished without a trace, meaning work on the new wing has ground to a halt. The head of the construction crew, Adrian Wall, has been sent to investigate by Irving Braxiatel. Accompanying him is Prof. Summerfield, as Traloor wants her expert opinion on an artefact found during the construction work… but his interest in Benny extends far beyond mere academia.

◆ Prof. Summerfield and the Yandere!

Mike Tucker has written some excellent audio adventures – with the only major dud from him being ‘Dust Breeding’ – so I was naturally excited to hear him tackle a different range. Unfortunately, this episode felt a little half-baked.

The mansion is sentient, trying to force Benny and Adrian to leave, because it contains the consciousness of the planet who is head over heels for its billionaire owner.

The plot is easily one the weaker aspects of ‘The Stone’s Lament’. That being said, even I wasn’t expecting Traloor to be revealed as a literal yandere: his bedroom walls are plastered with photos of Benny, and he’s got all of her lectures recorded too! I’m sure your imagination can probably guess what he gets up to in that room, so let’s not even mention it, because I don’t particularly wanna lose my appetite.

◆ Sound Design

How unfortunate! Toby Richards and Emily Baker are still doing their best to deafen me and overpower all the dialogue. The soundscape for this episode was pretty average.

Heavy rain during a thunderstorm on Rhinvil. The distorted voice of the House sounds like someone has stuck a Dictaphone inside a fish bowl. Construction equipment being moved around by Adrian. Voices phase in and out of earshot, disorientating our Collection representatives. Music playing inside of Traloor’s mansion bar. Waves lapping against the pebble beaches of Rhinvil. The mansion begins to collapse, great big stones and rocks rolling into the sea.

◆ Music

The music is alright in ‘The Stone’s Lament’, but I really wish it wasn’t overpowering everything around it. I would like to be able to hear something of the dialogue at one point.

◆ Conclusion

“I like to surround myself with beauty, Bernice.”

A sentient planet that has merged with an artificial intelligence, that just so happens to love its owner… and the owner just so happens to be a reclusive billionaire who has an unhealthy obsession with Benny.

‘The Stone’s Lament’ is pretty inoffensive, and it definitely wont set the literary world on fire. That being said, Lisa Bowerman delivers a really good performance, and Harry Myers does an amazing job as Adrian Wall (who may have just become one of my favourite characters in this whole range). It’s a good enough story, but by no means exceptional.