The Selachian Gambit

Not too much to say about this one, I’m afraid.

The party lands in an intergalactic bank. However, trouble soon arrives when Selachians decide to barge in and take all the customers hostage. Looking to get access, they warn both the manager and the police that they will shoot the hostages if they don’t get their way. Will the Doctor be able to mediate and find a way for everyone to escape?

Let’s start with the positives: The setting for this story is pretty neat! The focus is on opening the big bank vault, but this isn’t your average combination lock. The vault is “Dimensionally transcendental”, meaning alle contents are stored in another dimension. To get access to this dimension, the right code has to be entered, which changes every few hours. It’s a well thought out concept and adds a bit more nuance than the usual ‘put some dynamite on the door’ tactic.

Another positive is that, for me, this is the first introduction of Selachians in audio form! I was quite fond of them when I first read about them in “the Murder Game”, since they had many little tidbits of information that really made the whole species come to life. Like the fact they were a peaceful race that were forced into war and the fact their biology is secretly closer to dolphins than sharks. However, even with all that information, they were still ready to shoot you at any moment and a real physical threat that’s hard to stop.

However, hearing their reintroduction here, I have to say their charm is really diminished. They are really just there to hold a gun and be threatening. There’s none of the detail, charm or anything else that would make them special. They are, for all intents and purposes, water Sontarans. They call humans plankton and threaten to shoot. That’s it.

Even little things like their voices are not that outstanding. I can hear the intent: they want the sound to be similar to gurgling, like you’re talking underwater. But the end result is so monotone that it could also be used for a cybermen. It diminishes their originality.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I liked their introduction a lot, but I am definitely not opposed to a new take on them. This is a different medium with different rules. The problem is that there’s so little to chew on. The only real traits they get is that they have a microphone in their helmet and they like weapons. And that’s just not enough for a monster to stand out.

And that lack of depth also carries through in the rest of the story. Characters barely do anything and mostly sit around for the Doctor to fix things. There’s some small action elements, like Ben, Polly and Jamie trying to use a glue bomb, but that’s really not impactful enough for me to feel all that much excitement. It's too basic without anything to give it an edge. Nothing to really hook you. No special character moments, no unique circumstances, no threatening monster. Nothing.

This story is the equivalent of elevator music. It’s fine. Harmless, but not special at all. It might bring in some familiar notes that you’ve heard before in a more exciting context, but it fails to deliver anything that makes in stand out and unique. As bland as they come.

Love this story it’s such a fun moment I feel and genuinely not talked about enough