The Secret of Cassandra

Bernice Summerfield

#2.01. The Secret of Cassandra ~ 4/10

◆ An Introduction

The second wave of ‘Bernice Summerfield’ plays brought with it a couple of big changes, the most important of which was the choice to create original storylines for the range. This choice is something that I’m massively in favour of, because it means things are going to be original from this point onward, they hope.

◆ Publisher’s Summary

A vicious war between two nations is coming to a head, and the final movements are centred on the sailing ship Cassandra. Along with a very strange cargo, Cassandra carries Captain Colley, a man with his own sad burden, and the paranoid General Brennan, a woman convinced that her actions will end the war once and for all. Their grim mission goes entirely to plan, until the Cassandra gains an extra passenger – a shipwrecked archaeology professor by the name of Bernice Summerfield.

Sensing something is very wrong aboard the ship, Bernice's snooping brings her close to a terrible truth. Soon, Bernice doesn't know who to trust, and she can no longer be sure if anyone is who they claim to be…

◆ Prof. Bernice Summerfield

Lisa Bowerman kicks of Series Two with a decent enough performance, though nothing that will set the world on fire.

If Benny hadn’t fallen asleep under the lovely, baking Chosan sun… her yacht probably wouldn’t have strayed into the path of a warship. They shot her clean out of the water, but at least they had the decency to shipwreck her on an island, even if there’s nothing there. She promises General Brennan that she is not a spy. It seems that Benny’s idea of small talk is to joke about putting poison in Brennan’s wine (she’s clearly the last person you want at a dinner party)! She claims to be good at ending up in more trouble. Benny is convinced that Captain Colley is weak, and that he should have just thrown himself overboard when his wife died, rather than dragging the whole world into his mad scheme.

◆ Story Recap

Benny has been holidaying on the Earth colony of Chosan… and it just so happens that two of the largest continents here are at war with each other. Whilst taking in the sun’s rays, and fast asleep at sea, her yacht suddenly strays into the path of a warship, and she soon finds herself stranded on a desert island.

After a few days, she’s rescued by Captain Damian Colley of the SS Cassandra – a high-tech Chosan craft that has been stylised to resemble a 17th century Earth sailing ship! The only other passenger is one General Brennan, who has some precious cargo that it’s vital to take back to her homeland… cargo that can win her the war. But is there something else going on here?

Captain Colley seems to be working for both sides of the conflict, but claims to be a neutral party, which is far from the truth.

◆ A Sentient Bomb?

Series 2 was the first time original adventures were being released under the ‘Bernice Summerfield’ banner, which meant there were so many avenues of possibility one could explore… but instead, we got a script that felt completely bland and generic.

‘The Secret of Cassandra’ revolves around Cpt. Colley wanting to help the forces of Pevana in utterly annihilating the opposing continent, after their forces caused the death of his daughter – the namesake of his precious ship. The man that General Brennan, a Calabraxian soldier, has under lock and key in the Cassandra’s hold turns out to be a walking bomb.

The idea is incredibly average, but then the script decides that the walking bomb is actually Colley’s dead daughter, who transplanted her mind into another body! The revelation comes out of nowhere and makes zero sense. That sort of mind-swapping will be explored again by BigFinish in ‘Blood of the Daleks’, but it actually made sense in that release.

◆ Sound Design

The overall production quality is still abysmal: audio glitches are a prominent feature, completely drowning out the dialogue at times. It genuinely baffles me that this got past BigFinish’s quality control team.

◆ Music

I see that Toby Richards and Emily Baker are continuing to linger like a bad smell… and so is that dreadful theme tune they created! Seriously, the lyrics are so awful that a little bit of sick comes into my mouth the moment I hear “I love the adventure, the thrill of a mystery, my only release!”

◆ Conclusion

I usually begin this section with a quote from the episode, but the writing here was so uninspired that I couldn’t find any interesting dialogue. The plot was seriously boring: every element of it – aside from a walking bomb and a 17th century sailing ship – left my mind mere moments after listening to it.

It doesn’t help that we’re still cursed with the abysmal post-production work of Toby Richards and Emily Baker!

‘The Secret of Cassandra’ adds nothing to the overall story arc, so you should honestly just skip it.