The Sins of Cpt. John

#1.01. The Restored ~ 9/10

‘The Sins of Cpt. John’ features adult content and themes which may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion advised.

◆ An Introduction

It’s always exciting whenever BigFinish decide to grant a fan-favourite character their own series, because it brings a whole new flavour to the buffet of expanded universe content.

I would say that it’s time to plough through another brilliant spin-off… but Captain John will doing a lot of that during this episode anyway, so let’s leave it to the experts!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

Captain John is in Restoration England looking for some gauntlets. There's intrigue in the Tower of London, the dead are walking the streets, and the severed head of Oliver Cromwell has a terrible warning.

◆ Cpt. John Hart

Finding an episode where the lead actor is delivering perfection within the first few minutes is incredibly rare, but an absolute treat when it happens! James Marsters is charisma incarnate throughout ‘The Restored’.

He breaks the fourth wall within minutes – if we in the audience knew this was an audio drama, we might’ve actually spent out money on the DVD box set of Buffy instead! John explains to Sir Thomas that he’s just gotten back from the Colonies, and that his father allegedly fought for the previous King during the war. It’s been a life-long ambition of his to stay in the Tower of London: he thinks it’s the promise of shackles! Considering Restoration England is a bit saucy, you’d probably guess John is there as some kind of time-travelling sex tourist… and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. He left the Time Agency because he was sick of all the red tape… he also threw his line manager into a black hole! He might have a problem with authority, but he’s also versatile – good God, he’s even more of a walking innuendo than Harkness! Confronted with the babbling severed head of Oliver Cromwell, John remarks that he sounds like Sir Ian McKellan… then breaks the fourth wall again by claiming how expensive it would’ve been to hire him for the voice.

◆ Ridiculously Raunchy!

Word of advice: don’t go into this range expecting any form of seriousness. It’s composed entirely of fourth wall breaks, sexual innuendoes and generally well-written comedy.

‘The Restored’ revolves around the two Risen Mittens – the one used by a psychopathic Suzie Costello, and the one that contained the spirit of Death itself – basically going haywire in the middle of Restoration England and creating a zombie apocalypse. Captain John Hart has been contracted to retrieve them for the mysterious Vargosh Family… but he’s absolutely going to shag his way through half of the aristocrats and royalists before he completes his mission!

Llewellyn’s entire script is ridiculously raunchy, but the comedy never detracts from a genuinely well-written zombie adventure. I’m honestly reminded of the Carry On films… if someone had given Barbara Windsor a vortex manipulator and sent her hurtling through the time vortex!

◆ Sound Design

Rob Harvey provides an excellent soundscape, bringing Restoration England to life with ease.

The sound of shaking walls, as Charles II has a quick knee-trembler with the Duchess of Winchester! Horses prance across the cobbled streets of London towards Westminster. The chanting, growling severed head of Oliver Cromwell talks away to itself. The slurred roaring of the undead Anne Boleyn and Lady Jane Grey… and the sound of them burning in a roaring fire! Water sloshes around John and Mohisha as they attempt to row a boat towards Whitehall.

◆ Conclusion

“I want him to see his enemies restored to life, one by one!”

A zombie apocalypse is threatening to disrupt the coronation of Charles II, but never fear, because John Hart is here to save the day… God help them all!

I wasn’t sure what to expect from a range focused squarely on this fourth wall breaking charmer, but what a fun introduction this has been. ‘The Restored’ is jam packed with innuendoes and good humour, but it never detracts from an entertaining story about zombies descending on Restoration England.

James Marsters was on top form throughout, and I cannot wait to discuss the rest of this set. Excellent work, Llewellyn.