Doctor Who does a Cartoon Noir Parody!
At first this sounds kinda odd of a idea, but if we learned anything from Who… Weird Ideas often turn out as some of its most interesting Entries in the Whoniverse. And while it’s far away from being an amazing Parody, it’s still quite enjoyable! I think the Parody Part was done quite solid, you get your usual Tropes from the Noir Genre (Femme Fatal, a loner Detective etc) and while this Release does nothing new with the very much formulaic Idea of a Genre Parody, it still executes it quite well. Especially the Dialogue is absolutely enjoyable here. It’s a shame we didn’t get much more from Frobisher on Audio (I still need to get around to the Holy Terror) but going from this one, the Character works quite well on Audio. For a Sherman Script, it’s more on the lighter Side (which could be surprising for some), but I think he still delivered a quite fun Story here. I’d think it needs to be said that this might very well be the weakest Shearman Story that I got to listen/read/watch so far.

This is part of a series of reviews of Doctor Who in chronological timeline order.

Previous Story: Project: Twilight

This story is silly and absurd in all the right ways. It's fitting for one of the most absurd companions, a shapeshifting penguin private eye. He's a perfect parody of the cynical film noir detective and the brilliant narration by Robert Jezek really brings this homage to that era of detective fiction together. While the Doctor isn't present for a good chunk of this, Colin Baker very much is as Frobisher takes on the Doctor's form as a disguise in his investigation. As a brit, I can't speak too much on the quality of Colin Baker's accent, but it was very funny and I personally thought it was quite good. This story feels like it could be a precursor to the companion chronicles.

The plot was simple but enjoyable. It was very meta, with Frobisher mentioning the tropes of sci-fi and "private eye" stories. Even the MacGuffin of the story was meta with all the characters only referring to it as a "something". I really liked the character of Josiah W. Dogbolter, he was fun as a generic mob boss/gangster character and was performed quite well by Toby Longworth.

Overall, a fun little story. It's a shame this was the last appearance of Frobisher on audio.

Next Story: The Holy Terror

I just loved The Maltese Penguin. While nothing overly substantial in terms of story, it was a pitch perfect homage to film noir. Frobisher is also just such a fun idea for a character, too. I wish we got more of him or other weird aliens travelling with the doctor, especially in alternative media from television where this sort of thing can be explored more in the future.

I really liked how the lady turned out to be Francine, Frobisher's ex-wife. That was a funny little part of the mystery, and I liked all the characters in this story. The idea of this world being hostile to an original idea and the whole economy collapses in the face of it was entertaining, too. There's just enough details and ideas here to make it easy to follow the audio from start to finish. Robert Shearman remains a rock-solid writer in just about anything with his name attached to it that I come across.

It’s 2002. We’re a long way from Christopher Eccleston and the leather jacket, and Doctor Who is still a niche interest science-fiction property consigned to novels and audiobooks. The TV Movie has happened, and everyone who saw it is desperately hoping it won’t Happen Again. It’s a dark time to be a Doctor Who fan. Perhaps. I’m not sure, I was only nine years old. Nobody in my life was a huge fan of the show, and so whatever was going on in that wide weird universe, it all went unnoticed by me, including the release of The Maltese Penguin.

Being nine years old at the time, I would only have been seven when the precursor to this story, Robert Shearman’s sublimely warped The Holy Terror shipped to an unsuspecting listening public and (I can only imagine) left everyone staring at their early 2000s combination sound systems agog, trying to wrap their heads around what they’d just heard. Seven is far too young to have money for CDs and fancy combination sound systems, you see. For that, I can only be grateful; I was a somewhat sensitive child, and I’m sure that story would have left me with anxious nightmares of floating murderer babies and cultish hierarchies for weeks.

The Maltese Penguin, though, released two years later and also by Shearman, would have been far more suited to my seven-to-nine-year-old tastes. I don’t mean this in any way as a flat criticism; I thoroughly enjoyed The Maltese Penguin, but it has to be acknowledged that this is a radical departure from Frobisher’s previous appearance and might have confused listeners coming in for more of the same. This is a straightforward send-up of pulp and noir fiction, exactly the sort of thing you imagine early-90s Patrick Stewart would absolutely have a blast in until the holodeck malfunctioned and tried to kill him.

There’s a corrupt cop, a mysterious beautiful woman that the script gets to luxuriate (read; perv) over and an indiscriminately violent crime boss, complete with slow talking lumbering sidekick. Anyone who has read a pulp noir novel, heck, anyone who’s ever seen any television show that ever ran long enough to parody the genre (and trust me, there’s a lot) will know what’s going on here. The only real diversions we take from the form are, of course, the elements that tie this into the Doctor Who universe.

So, what do we have to tie it in? Arguably, this could be taken as one of the first ever “Doctor-lite” episodes, that modern money-saving venture that’s given us such classics as Blink, 73 Yards, Dot And Bubble, and of course, Cyberwoman. Colin Baker’s Sixth Doctor is barely in this, having but a few cameos at the beginning, midpoint, and end. His sheepish desire to have his friend Frobisher back is underplayed well by Colin, but it’s difficult to buy Frobisher’s desire not to come back, especially when we’re not really provided much context for why Frobisher would leave in the first place. There’s an argument to be made that this story slots into canon after The Holy Terror, but it appears that the two larger timelines, Rassilon bless their lunatic endeavors, are a little at odds over which one comes first. For my money, the story makes a lot more sense if you position it there, but not a lot in the story explicitly says so. It’s far more interested in hitting all the correct genre beats; the clifftop execution, forcing our hero to rapidly shape-change as he plunges towards the ocean, is heart-pounding stuff, but it’s balanced against an awful lot of standing around expositing. It’s audio, of course, so there are some concessions to be made, but when at least some of the expositing is coming in Robert Jezek’s Frobisher voice, an acquired taste to say the least, and then yet more of it is coming in Colin Baker’s pretty wobbly approximation of Robert Jezek, an impression OF a dodgy accent, it’s easy to lose what’s actually happening in the swirl of dubious space Brooklynites.

While I am on the subject of vocal work though, I have to pay a lot of credit to Toby Longworth, who here plays Dogbolter with a sly relish. Considering Dogbolter is a frog person, there was always going to be a risk that they played his character with some sort of voice altering synthesizer module, Nicholas Briggs giving him a sonorous croak that made him impossible to understand. Toby Longworth, by this point a Big Finish veteran appearing in many Main Range stories, is allowed to just let his voice and performance do the work, and as a result his villainy is far more grounded and, frankly, comprehensible.

Robert Shearman is a writer who I think works best when he’s allowed leeway to write a twisty-turny script full of unexpected revelations and diversions; I think perhaps that as well as Frobisher’s built-in backstory as a private investigator led him in this direction. Sadly, I don’t necessarily think it suits him. The most interesting part of this story is the big reveal; that Dogbolter has the planet rigged, its economy never creates anything, it just keeps generating him a steady profit by existing, doing absolutely nothing. The “Something” they are all looking for is literally just that, something somebody made, and it has the capacity to crash their entire economy. That’s a far more interesting idea space to play in, one that almost feels wasted as the big reveal at the end of a fairly pedestrian genre pastiche. Almost as if he can’t help himself, Robert ups the complexity by having Alicia Mulholland, the spicy femme-fatale, reveal herself to be Frobisher’s Whifferdill ex-wife in disguise, allowing them to have a tearful reunion before an even more tearful departure.

This is seeded early in the story – Frobisher is clearly mourning somebody, but when he chooses to go with The Doctor anyway, and when the emotional beat is two penguins hugging their love out in a rain-soaked space mystery, it’s hard to take it all seriously. And truly, I don’t think we’re supposed to. That’s why I’ll happily loop it around and say that at nine years old, I would have loved this. It’s fast-paced, it’s fun, it has exactly enough edge to make it feel mature, but none of the real inherent darkness that the Big Finish Main Range was doing at the time.

Am I one of the people who wants Frobisher back? Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I think, actually, in this big year 2024, post Space Babies and in the Disney era, it would be an incredibly dangerous idea to introduce Frobisher to the wider fandom. Imagine the uproar – “DISNEY FORCES WOKE SHAPESHIFTING PENGUIN INTO TARDIS, AND HE’S AMERICAN?”.

6️⃣⏹️ = FINE!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“IF HUMPHREY BOGART WAS A PENGUIN!”

Released in 2002 as a subscriber bonus alongside Neverland, The Maltese Penguin brings back Frobisher, the talking private detective penguin (previously heard in The Holy Terror), as he takes on a new mystery to solve. The story is told in a similar vein to a traditional film noir crime mystery, and while it also briefly features Colin Baker’s Doctor it is very much Fobisher’s story.

Frobisher’s tongue-in-cheek narration and the groovy music build a recognisable noir atmosphere, and this is further strengthened by the very typical story structure (the detective presented by the case and then slowly working to solve it, mostly by interrogating people and explaining their thoughts to the listener through the narrated sections). Robert Shearman writes great dialogue, and his descriptive scenes, coupled with a healthy pinch of black humour and witty remarks, carry many scenes beautifully.

Robert Jezek’s swinging accent could feel a bit too much for some, but I quite like it. There are other distracting voices among the guest cast, though, such as Alistar Lock’s Chandler or Jane Goddard in yet another over-the-top performance as Mulholland. Colin Baker appears in all three or four scenes and is hardly relevant to the plot.

The story itself keeps twisting and turning and moving forward but is hardly very memorable. The apt take on a crime noir story makes it somewhat enjoyable, though. Still, some of the comedy and mystery introduced in the first act feel less effective by the third, and the lengthy conversation scenes suck a lot of tension out of the story. The fact that we never explore the characters or the world deeper also means that the entire thing feels flat.