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TARDIS Guide

Overview

First aired

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Written by

Steven Moffat

Directed by

Colm McCarthy

Runtime

45 minutes

Time Travel

Present

Tropes (Potential Spoilers!)

Doctor Who?, Robots, Shape Shifting, Virtual Afterlife

Inventory (Potential Spoilers!)

Fez, Sonic Screwdriver

Location (Potential Spoilers!)

Earth, England, London

UK Viewers

8.44 million

Appreciation Index

87

Synopsis

London, 2013. "Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for Wi-Fi. Sometimes you see something, a bit like this. Don't click it. Do not click it. Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer. They can see you. If they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do... you die."

When Clara Oswald has problems with her Internet, she's given a telephone number: the number of the "best help line in the universe". When the Eleventh Doctor answers at the other end, Clara is pulled into a life of adventure and mystery. But danger is lurking in the signals, picking off minds and imprisoning them. "It's like immortality, only fatal." But can the Doctor save Clara before... "I don't know where I am!"

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Quotes

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NABILE: Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for wifi. Sometimes you see something.

(He holds up a card with seven strange symbols.)

NABILE: A bit like this. Don't click it. Do not click it. Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer.

(A whole slew of weird symbols in the available connections list.)

NABILE: They can see you. And they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do, you die. For twenty four hours, you're dead. For a while. People's souls are being uploaded to the internet. And some people get stuck. Their minds, their souls, in the wifi. Like echoes, like ghosts. Sometimes you can hear their screams on the radio, on the telly, on the net. This is real. This is not a hoax.

MAN 2 [on screen]: I don't know where I am.

NABILE: Or a joke.

(A Japanese woman on a laptop screen.)

NABILE: Or a story.

MAN 3 [on screen]: I don't know where I am.

NABILE: This is real, and I know that, because I don't know where I am. Please, please, if you can hear me, if you can hear me, I don't know where I am.

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Transcript Needs checking

(Prequel )

[Playground]

GIRL: Hello.
DOCTOR: Hello.
GIRL: Why are you sitting on a swing?
DOCTOR: Why shouldn't I?
GIRL: Because you're old.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's true. That is very true.
GIRL: My mum says I shouldn't talk to strange men.
DOCTOR: Ah, you mum's right.
GIRL: Are you strange?
DOCTOR: Oh, dear. I'm way past strange. I think I'm probably incredible.
GIRL: Are you lonely?
DOCTOR: Why would I be lonely?
GIRL: Because you're sad. Have you lost something?
DOCTOR: No.
GIRL: When I lose something, I go to a quiet place and I close my eyes, and then I can remember where I put it.
DOCTOR: Good plan.
GIRL: I'm always losing things. I lost my best pencil, my schoolbag, and my gran, and my mojo.
DOCTOR: Your mojo?
GIRL: I got it back, though.
DOCTOR: Hey, that's good.
GIRL: What did you lose?
DOCTOR: My friend. I met her twice before and I lost her both times, and now I don't think I'll ever find her again.
GIRL: Have you been looking?
DOCTOR: Yeah, everywhere.
GIRL: That's sad.
DOCTOR: It is a bit. Hey, is that your mum?
GIRL: Yeah, I'd better go and see if she's all right.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I think you better had.
GIRL: How are you going to find her?
DOCTOR: Well, the first two times I met her, I just sort of bumped into her, so I thought maybe if I just wandered about a bit, I might bump into her again. You know, like destiny, sort of.
GIRL: That's rubbish.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I think it probably is. Hey, maybe I could find a quiet room and have a good think about it instead.
GIRL: That would be better. Goodbye.
DOCTOR: Goodbye.
GIRL: Mister, I hope you find her again.
DOCTOR: So do I.
MUM: Who was that?
GIRL: I was talking to a sad man.
MUM: Look, Clara Oswald, what have I told you about talking to strange men?

(Over images of people connecting to a red wifi linking the whole planet, via desktops, laptops, phones, etc. is a man on a staticky screen.)

NABILE: Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for wifi. Sometimes you see something.


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