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TARDIS Guide

Overview

First aired

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Written by

Steven Moffat

Directed by

Colm McCarthy

Runtime

45 minutes

Time Travel

Present

Tropes (Potential Spoilers!)

Virtual Afterlife, Doctor Who?, Robots, Shape Shifting

Inventory (Potential Spoilers!)

Fez, Sonic Screwdriver

Location (Potential Spoilers!)

Earth, England, London

UK Viewers

8.44 million

Appreciation Index

87

Synopsis

London, 2013. "Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for Wi-Fi. Sometimes you see something, a bit like this. Don't click it. Do not click it. Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer. They can see you. If they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do... you die."

When Clara Oswald has problems with her Internet, she's given a telephone number: the number of the "best help line in the universe". When the Eleventh Doctor answers at the other end, Clara is pulled into a life of adventure and mystery. But danger is lurking in the signals, picking off minds and imprisoning them. "It's like immortality, only fatal." But can the Doctor save Clara before... "I don't know where I am!"

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Reviews

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6 reviews

I think this episode has the best shots and lovely storyline.


This review contains spoilers!

I stopped re-watching new episodes multiple times around 2013 as I got more deeply into the classic series and Doctor Who's extended universe. As a result when watching the second half of series 7 I have the interesting experience of experiencing Doctor Who that I in many ways know the least about - episodes that I have had the longest gap since most recently watching. The last 10 years has meant that I even forgot that Richard E Grant's Great Intelligence was even a recurring character in this series - I thought he was dispensed with in The Snowmen!

​This story is a bit mid. The most interesting idea is the spoon headed baddies, which is a rip off of Silent in the Library. Otherwise this inner city thriller is a bit nondescript (chases, hackers, action!) The show looks good though and Clara and The Doctor's relationship gleams. Its the worst of Clara's three introductions, but it still leaves you feeling warm for her afterwards. A solid series opener.


Still hard to know what to make of this one. The idea wasn't exactly new but it certainly had a different feel to it. Thought it was a pretty low key opening episode in the truth though. There were a couple of very creepy scenes and nice some nice banter between The Doctor and Clara but nothing particularly memorable. It was certainly no Eleventh Hour.


This review contains spoilers!

*Insert Chibnall wifi joke here*

Prerequisites: Asylum of the Daleks and The Snowmen give needed context.

Spoilers!
The Bells of Saint John is a fairly fun, if flawed companion "introduction" piece. I say "introduction" because this is kinda Clara's third introduction, and I'd argue it's also her weakest. To start, Clara's character here just isn't that well set up. She lacks the genuinely fun mystery element Oswin had in Asylum, and she also lacks the fun little pieces of characterization she got in The Snowmen. Instead, I imagine that Moffat was using those previous episodes as a crutch when writing her here, because her only character traits I can really make out are 'clever' and 'flirty'. Don't get me wrong, Coleman and Smith have some fun exchanges, but it's nothing I'd call exemplary. What I do quite like, though, is the vibe and setting. While admittedly the whole 'wifi is sucking up people' thing is goofy, I really enjoy just how adventurous this feels. We don't see a lot of the Doctor zipping around a modern metropolis in Who, and it's fun to see it here. I like the motorcycle stuff, and I even like how the Great Intelligence pops up again. Overall, I think this is a fun little episode, although were I to sit down and analyze it further I'm absolutely sure that my rating would lower.


god this sucks /affectionate

i love seeing clara this early on now bc u see how much she LOVES being a manic pixie dream girl. shes like yeah obviously im gonna be whisked away on a space adventure. its about time.


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Statistics

AVG. Rating609 members
3.17 / 5

Trakt.tv

AVG. Rating1,501 votes
4.09 / 5

The Time Scales

AVG. Rating180 votes
3.45 / 5

Member Statistics

Watched

1326

Favourited

49

Reviewed

6

Saved

1

Skipped

0

Owned

14

Quotes

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NABILE: Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for wifi. Sometimes you see something.

(He holds up a card with seven strange symbols.)

NABILE: A bit like this. Don't click it. Do not click it. Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer.

(A whole slew of weird symbols in the available connections list.)

NABILE: They can see you. And they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do, you die. For twenty four hours, you're dead. For a while. People's souls are being uploaded to the internet. And some people get stuck. Their minds, their souls, in the wifi. Like echoes, like ghosts. Sometimes you can hear their screams on the radio, on the telly, on the net. This is real. This is not a hoax.

MAN 2 [on screen]: I don't know where I am.

NABILE: Or a joke.

(A Japanese woman on a laptop screen.)

NABILE: Or a story.

MAN 3 [on screen]: I don't know where I am.

NABILE: This is real, and I know that, because I don't know where I am. Please, please, if you can hear me, if you can hear me, I don't know where I am.

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Transcript Needs checking

(Prequel )

[Playground]

GIRL: Hello.
DOCTOR: Hello.
GIRL: Why are you sitting on a swing?
DOCTOR: Why shouldn't I?
GIRL: Because you're old.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's true. That is very true.
GIRL: My mum says I shouldn't talk to strange men.
DOCTOR: Ah, you mum's right.
GIRL: Are you strange?
DOCTOR: Oh, dear. I'm way past strange. I think I'm probably incredible.
GIRL: Are you lonely?
DOCTOR: Why would I be lonely?
GIRL: Because you're sad. Have you lost something?
DOCTOR: No.
GIRL: When I lose something, I go to a quiet place and I close my eyes, and then I can remember where I put it.
DOCTOR: Good plan.
GIRL: I'm always losing things. I lost my best pencil, my schoolbag, and my gran, and my mojo.
DOCTOR: Your mojo?
GIRL: I got it back, though.
DOCTOR: Hey, that's good.
GIRL: What did you lose?
DOCTOR: My friend. I met her twice before and I lost her both times, and now I don't think I'll ever find her again.
GIRL: Have you been looking?
DOCTOR: Yeah, everywhere.
GIRL: That's sad.
DOCTOR: It is a bit. Hey, is that your mum?
GIRL: Yeah, I'd better go and see if she's all right.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I think you better had.
GIRL: How are you going to find her?
DOCTOR: Well, the first two times I met her, I just sort of bumped into her, so I thought maybe if I just wandered about a bit, I might bump into her again. You know, like destiny, sort of.
GIRL: That's rubbish.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I think it probably is. Hey, maybe I could find a quiet room and have a good think about it instead.
GIRL: That would be better. Goodbye.
DOCTOR: Goodbye.
GIRL: Mister, I hope you find her again.
DOCTOR: So do I.
MUM: Who was that?
GIRL: I was talking to a sad man.
MUM: Look, Clara Oswald, what have I told you about talking to strange men?

(Over images of people connecting to a red wifi linking the whole planet, via desktops, laptops, phones, etc. is a man on a staticky screen.)

NABILE: Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for wifi. Sometimes you see something.


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