New Girl

Torchwood One – Before the Fall

#1.01. New Girl ~ 10/10

◆ An Introduction

It’s been a long time coming, but we’re finally delving into the adventures of Torchwood One, and who better to kick off this range than one of my favourite writers? I hope you’re prepared for a whistle-stop tour of the Institute. Rachel Allan certainly is…

◆ Publisher’s Summary

“They’ve been coming to us for years. And we’ve been kept in the dark. My name’s Rachel Allan. And I’m Torchwood”

It’s Rachel Allan’s first day at Torchwood. Torchwood only takes the brightest and the best – and Rachel’s wondering if Yvonne Hartman’s made a terrible mistake in picking her.

Plunged into a world of alien invasions and office politics, Rachel’s desperate to fit in. For one thing, she really wants this job. And, for another, she knows what happens at Torchwood if you fail.

◆ DISCLAIMER

It was only after pre-ordering ‘I Hate Mondays’ that I was made aware of the Islamophobic and transphobic rhetoric that Tracy-Ann Oberman continues to share on social media.

For this reason, I will not be purchasing any further releases featuring Oberman. I refuse to support someone with such despicable views.

I previously covered the first four sets for TimeScales, so will be porting those reviews over to this site: each of them will carry this disclaimer. They were all written prior to May 2023. Please remember not to take any of my comments in this review about Oberman’s performance – positive or negative – as condoning her frankly awful views.

◆ Rachel Allan

Joseph Lidster has created an instantly likeable character in Rachel – which makes it all the more impressive when her true intentions are revealed – and I would definitely describe her as the audience avatar for this episode: our eyes and ears during the whistle-stop tour of the Institute.

Sophie Winkleman – younger sister of Claudia – hits the ground running with a simply phenomenal performance. Everyone is delivering their A-Game in ‘New Girl’.

When Rachel was a little kid, her dad used to tell her all about space; about the stars and the planets. He made it sound like there was a huge adventure out there, and that they’d go and find it one day. Rachel has turned up to one of the trendiest areas in London wearing a cardigan: she’s not used to wearing contacts either, so keeps blinking like she’s having a serious fit. It’s her first day at Torchwood and she’s already lost her welcome pack; well, there was actually an “incident” with her flat-mate and an incense stick. Rachel has always believed in aliens, but she didn’t put that in her blog: most people believed the cover-ups that blamed extraterrestrial activity on terrorists, and she knew people would panic if they knew the truth. That’s why she wrote a blog saying the alien stuff was bogus, before investigating it herself! She feels like the only person in Canary Wharf wearing a cardigan. Rachel is a bit shocked by Torchwood: she’d expected there to be more geeks about the place, yet it looks like it could be any other office in the country. Kieran has been running security checks on her and discovers that she went off the rails a bit during her teens, even spending the night in a police cell, something she blames on the death of her father. Rachel’s dad was the one to get her into all the alien stuff, claiming he was obsessed with Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds LP. When Yvonne claims that Torchwood may have recordings of her dad from monitoring, she wishes she could view them just to see him again. Rachel properly stands up for herself against Tommy; she’s got ten GCSEs, most at a C and above; three A-Levels, though one is Media Studies; and she’s got a City and Guilds. She got this job because she did something very clever, and deserves to be at Torchwood! Following Tommy being let go, Rachel manages to land herself his job as Head of Alien Acquisitions: talk about a step-up the career ladder! By the end of this episode, Rachel is exposed as the one who has been sabotaging Torchwood operations since the day she arrived, and the gormless guise slips away. She has spent weeks going from person to person, spreading rumours and causing havoc – even her relationship with Ianto is just a means to an end. She wanted Torchwood, and now she has it! Now, Rachel Allen is going after Yvonne!

◆ Yvonne Hartman

Joseph Lidster was the one who first resurrected the character of Yvonne for the ‘Monthly Adventures’, and he proved he understood the character inside and out. She’s excellently written throughout this episode.

Tracy-Ann Oberman delivers an immaculate performance in ‘New Girl’.

There are rumours on the dark-net about Yvonne: nobody knows what she looks like, but she is meant to be seriously brilliant! Yvonne would have been more worried if Rachel had recognised her, as it wouldn’t do if people knew what the head of a top secret organisation looked like. Spies get right on her wick, and she recalls the latest one Torchwood had to deal with: an agent for KVI – Russia’s answer to the Institute. Yvonne is keen to scare the living daylights out of Rachel by describing how the spy supposedly got tortured by some psychotic man they have on staff to make people talk, with his very big hands… then she just happily resumes discussing the gorgeous calorie free feta cheese salad like it was any normal conversation! Yvonne remembers her first kill for Torchwood; she told everyone she was fine, but couldn’t sleep for a week. Yvonne admits that she’s been stupid, and she’s fully aware that Rachel has ousted her and taken over the Institute.

◆ Ianto Jones

Lidster had previously written for Ianto in ‘Broken’ – which remains one of the most adored stories in the ‘Monthly Range’, several years after its release. He’s got a great understanding of what makes this character tick.

Gareth David-Lloyd puts on a marvellous performance in this episode. Always a pleasure to hear his soothing Welsh tones.

Ianto is trying to co-ordinate a time explosion at the Royal Hope Hospital whilst dealing with two squabbling colleagues; a pesky General convinced that terrorists are to blame for the explosion; and the fact there are no biscuits in the meeting room! All that to deal with on top of being personal assistant to the boss, and he’s still being used as the faithful coffee boy by Pippa: some things never change. Ianto is sick to death of Pippa bugging restaurants and spying on his love-life; it’s clearly early days for him and Lisa Hallett. Ianto believes that everyone at Torchwood is brilliant, especially him. He had to get away from home when his father died, because he wasn’t able to accept his life choices, whilst his mam and sister were a bit more “Welsh”. Ianto has got a James Bond lunch-box: to quote the Ninth Doctor, “ha ha, you’re a nerd!”

◆ Tommy Pierce

Initially conceived as a side-character for this range, Tommy became something of a fan-favourite who people wanted to hear more of. I’ve met hundreds of people like him: old-fashioned Northerners that are stubborn as an ox! I absolutely adore this character.

A truly immaculate performance from Timothy Bentinck in ‘New Girl’. I’m so happy they made him part of the family in this range.

Tommy is described as being a bit old-school, which is a complete understatement. He’s keen to show off his misogyny by telling Yvonne to “go get her nails done”, before telling Rachel that her desk is in the kitchen and relegating her to tea lady duties! Ianto claims that Old Tommy is actually brilliant, but that he is “Old Torchwood” and that he used to work at the old office: everyone used to be like him back then, until Yvonne swept in and changed things. Tommy claims that, back in his day, you used to just shoot aliens coming to planet Earth.

◆ Story Recap

It’s Rachel Allan’s first day on the job at Torchwood Tower: the beginning of an illustrious career. She seems a bit all over the place to begin with, a little bit on edge… but it’s not long before she’s making friends and rising up the career ladder.

Rachel is a lot more clever than she seems though. Within a few weeks, her plan is already coming together. Someone may have finally bested Yvonne Hartman.

◆ Meet the Team

Others have already pointed out that the actual story is a little thin on the ground, but the whole purpose of ‘New Girl’ is to give a whistle-stop tour of Torchwood Tower; meeting all the colourful characters that Yvonne Hartman has employed.

You’ve got Pippa – played by Lorelei King – who is the head of HR at Torchwood One: she’s an eccentric American that is convinced she’s a psychic, and has a genuine belief in horoscopes. She also keeps bugging restaurants to keep an eye on the love-life of Ianto and Lisa.

Then you’ve got Keiran Frost – played by Damian Lynch – who happens to be Head of Security: he’s described as looking like someone out of a Diet Coke ad, and he’s got something of a crush on his PA, the rather charming Dean.

My favourite member of the extended Torchwood One family has got to be Tommy Pierce. An incredibly lazy alcoholic who somehow managed to bag the position of Head of Alien Acquisitions. As previously mentioned, I’ve met hundreds of people like Old Tommy. He feels like someone you would encounter in your local Wetherspoon's!

◆ Sound Design

The landscape of Torchwood Tower is best described as corporate, and Martin Montague’s sound design does an excellent job at bringing it to life.

A London tube hurtling through the tunnels towards Canary Wharf station, which is filled with the hustle and bustle of commuters. Flashbacks to the attempted 2005 Nestene Invasion; explosions and Auton weaponry firing on human beings. Classical music playing in the lobby of One Canada Square, and Guleraana typing away on a sleek, modern keyboard. The sentient lift makes small talk about its selection of music; Mozart, Schubert… and for some baffling reason, James Blunt! The chatter of colleagues and phones ringing out in Torchwood’s HR department. A radio playing in an Indian restaurant, punters having a nice chat in the background. Police sirens blare as Ianto and Rachel are escorted to a warbling alien space-craft. Something gurgles in the midst of Alien Acquisitions. Dean gets murdered at the end of the episode, and his body bursts into chunks all over other members of Torchwood personnel.

◆ Conclusion

“My name’s Rachel Allan, and I’m Torchwood.”

A whistle-stop tour of Torchwood Tower, introducing us to the colourful cast of characters that make up personnel. Joseph Lidster is someone who I have praised on many occasion, but he was absolutely the right person to kick this range off.

Our previously established regulars – Yvonne and Ianto – are marvellous here, but what about the two newbies? Old Tommy makes a lasting impression as this Northerner trapped in the 1970s, whilst Rachel is an incredibly complex and intriguing character; her betrayal really shocked me first time round.

‘Before the Fall’ is worth purchasing for this first episode alone. Lidster hit a home run with this script.