It’s impossible to talk about A Girl’s Best Friend, the pilot for the (never continued) spin-off K-9 and Company, without mentioning that intro. 

It’s so stupid, and I love it. 

In fact, that last sentence could also be applied to the whole episode. 

It’s so bonkers, with one of the strangest plots in the Whoniverse. 

Sarah Jane and her cousin Brendan, with the help of K-9, must stop a cult from... I actually don’t really know what the story was about, as a lot was annoyingly left unexplained. 

The most unforgettable part of the episode for me is the finale, where K-9 slaughters everyone in the cult, and no one cares! 

This is one of the weirdest stories in the world of Doctor Who, and, while it will definitely not be to everyone’s taste, I love it because of how strange it (unintentionally) is. 

I do like to wonder what it would be like if the series actually went ahead, but I think that would just be too much, even for me. 

Oh well, we’ll always have Australia’s K-9 series. 

Ah. K9 and Company. How many ways do I love thee.

The glorious theme tune - 1 part Dynasty, 2 parts Ulysees 31 (seriously, listen to the two back to back); K9 on a wall - how, just how; Elisabeth Sladen jogging, drinking wine and reading a newspaper.

Linda Polan - what a brilliant performance as Juno Baker. She knows the script is supposed to suggest she's the head of the black magic cult so ramps her performance up to 85% weird/15% Margo Leadbetter. Her husband, Neville Barber, is 20% Jerry Leadbetter, 80% relatively normal compared to his wife!

Gillian Martell playing the flipside of Juno, Lily Gregson - all country oo-ar, simple folks we are, would you like a cup of tea (I'm a black magic cultist really under my frumpy exterior....(sorry - spoilers!)

Bill Fraser in full on 'gruff but kindly' mode so we don't suspect him of being the other cult leader.

A surrounding guest cast of simple, country folk from the farmer who doesn't trust science but his own gut instinct to the simple lad used as a heavy and the policeman who's got in too deep.

Brendan, Brendan, Brendan. This is Adric if he was a bit more likeable (and I don't even mind Adric all that much). Ian Sears is great as Brendan and of all the characters from this spin-off he's the one who I would most have liked to see in a full series. He's a bit of the Sarah Jane Adventures' Luke crossed with a bit of Clyde and a bit of Maria.

The ridiculous plot of black magic cults in an English village - why is this the first story they went to for a K9 spin-off? A futuristic robot dog! It literally makes no sense and I love it all the more because of it.

Characters smoking and drinking left, right and centre - you can tell this is kid's TV in 1981!

John Leeson being awesome as K9 - of course - and singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas as the credits roll - sublime.

Elisabeth Sladen acting as if she has quietly realised this isn't exactly what she thought it might be and isn't really very good. But she's a professional and she'll give her best shot.

The K9 Annual this spin-off gave rise to. If you haven't read it, get the K9 and Company DVD - it's on there as a PDF - and treat yourself to story after story of black magic cults around the world (even the writer, interviewd in the most recent issue of DWM admits he may have gone a bit overboard with the cults!).

The climactic scenes which, now, remind me of Hot Fuzz's climactic reveal. In fact, I'd go so far as to say someone responsible for that film remembers K9 and Company, even if just subconsciously - Pegg's a fan isn't he?

K9 and Company is rubbish, but it's fun rubbish and its heart is in the right place. The cast give it their all and the main reason it just doesn't work is because the setting and plot just don't fit the idea of creating a show based round K9. It feels much more like a Sarah Jane spin-off with K9 added in rather than the other way round.

I implore those of you debating whether to include it in your marathon to do so. It's so clearly part of 80s Who - the look and feel of it has distinct echoes of the Pertwee era atmosphere (with obvious parallels to The Daemons) mashed up with the production design of the Davison era.

Sod all the Doctor Who Christmas specials - watching this should be an annual Christmas tradition!

The best bit of A Girl's Best Friend is the theme music. Once that ends, this is just 50 or so very boring minutes where not that much actually happens. It totally lost my interest at the start and did not regain it at any later point in the episode.

I've always been a bit lukewarm on this spin-off pilot, and I still feel the same way. Whilst I appreciate the ambition, and I think there's a solid idea on paper regarding Sarah Jane and k9 investigating a witchcraft cult, it's not quite as interesting as it should be.

For a pilot intended to get audiences interested in a spin-off show, it has a surprisingly slow pace. There's not much actual cultish behaviour taking place, although it's nice to see Sarah Jane using her investigative skills.

Another problem is that Sarah Jane is uncharacteristically unlikable in places. For instance, she initially tells Brendan that he can 'wait until tomorrow' to be picked up from the boarding school, even though she was supposed to have picked him up already. It doesn't reflect brilliantly well on Sarah as a character.

Thankfully, K9's inclusion adds some character to the spin-off pilot. His friendship with Brendan is endearing, and he's introduced organically into the plot, as a present from the Doctor. K9 can never do any wrong in my eyes.

This is part of a series of reviews of Doctor Who in chronological timeline order.

Previous Story: Logopolis

Doctor Who's first ever spinoff. I can see why it never went any further than this, though now I wish it had. I'm not sure who thought to pair up Sarah Jane and K9 but I find it works quite well. It is a bit of an insult in my opinion to call this K9 and Company when he isn't at all the main character. The theme song is, well, very 80s. Unfortunately it's going to be stuck in my head for ages now.

The story itself is not exceptional, but it's a fun idea and I would have loved to see how the rest of it played out. In the end, I think stories matter if you have fun with them and aside from a boring start I had plenty of fun with this.