Timeless Children is a failure on several levels. The whole revelation itself, as confusing as it may be and out of lockstep with so much of established Who lore, at least it was in theory a bold new direction for the character.

Where we tumble in quality - and we really are just hitting rock bottom in terms of quality, is how this story is executed. The Doctor is stripped of all agency, which could be interesting if done well, but no, it is so she can be told everything in a glorified PowerPoint presentation. The clown show only gets worse as everyone just feels totally out of it, performance wise. Everything is so dependant on effects and ideas clearly not on stage with the actors (all of which just look so terrible and have serious lighting issues), too often the actors have to be vague or neutral in their performances, leaving everyone feeling like a flat dud.

This is a franchise with Absorbaloffs, squiggly line monsters, diner girl Claras, and so much more stinky entries into its history, but nothing quite feels as underwhelming, disappointing, cynical, and poorly executed as this one. The Doctor's big heroic move is letting someone else die in her place. The companions' role and place in this story ranges from useless to an annoying distraction. It makes me sad in the worst way possible as a fan.

And what is worse of all is that all it really does is damage. There was no pay-off to the Timeless Children, we know that now. But it did walk back Moffat's Day of the Doctor and the big moment of saving Gallifrey. It did tremendous damage to the idea of the Doctor just being this outcast nobody in Time Lord society. And it did tremendous damage to the prestige and hard-fought respect the show had earned over the years during its reboot.

I don't blame people for wanting the show to have been cancelled after this. Chibnall essentially ground the franchise to a bitter halt with a non-story that barely qualifies as a plot, feeling more like a recap episode to events never seen before. I'm glad things are going in a different direction, but I get it. This was miserable. Stuff like the Cyber Lords and Ashad feel completely pointless, especially knowing the full extent of the Chibnall era. I've also always found this incarnation of the Master to be so, so lame. Some fans seem to really like it, all I can say is that Sacha is a wonderful actor I find makes for a bad Master. It could just be Chibnall writing him poorly.

The only reason this doesn't get a 1/10 is that somehow, in spite of all of this, the stuff with The Division from earlier in The Ascension of Cyberman is executed kind of perfectly and is paid off well here.  Oh, don't get me wrong, it ultimately never went anywhere and clearly was fumbled down the road, but the actual story there, told in this very strange allegory - that is how the whole episode should have been. That would have actually been interesting and nuanced. It's so clever though, it feels like it is a completely different entity from a completely different show at this point. I don't know, it just seems like the Division content in Timeless Children is a hint of what could have been, while the rest of the episode is a firm reminder of what we actually got.

Final Score - 2/10