I've come to the realisation that I don't enjoy Terry Nation scripts. Both this story and The Daleks have a potentially interesting concept and potentially interesting side characters, but get bogged down with useless meandering.

Setting aside the fact that a society completely controlled by a machine's idea of right and wrong is dystopian as all hell, made more so by the person in charge forcing the main characters to support it against their will, and the only comment on that being a single line spoken by the Doctor at the very end of the serial, it's just...not very interesting. We could have had actual commentary, but instead this setting is a backdrop to "basic evil bad guys" and a bookend to a fairly simple treasure hunt.

Removing the titular character from a third of the story was a bad choice. It doesn't help that the side characters are fairly flat. I like that Barbara has more to do in this story, but Suzan is once again relegated to screaming for cliffhangers, which is especially noticeable after she played a more major role in Marco Polo.

The first two planets they visited had interesting concepts at their cores, something that a different story would have taken time to explore. The last two planets lost steam completely, being fairly generic "ice planet #n" and "tribunal", both of which have been done to death.

I did not expect a story comprised of seven missing episodes to be as enjoyable as this is. While I do think they could have cut down as episode for a tighter story, this serial is remarkably engaging. I mostly wasn't bored during it, and found that there were enough pictures to keep me engaged. I didn't get nearly as much knitting done as I had expected to.

Marco Polo and Ping-Cho are both likeable and realistic characters. I like their dynamics with the main cast, as well as the dynamic between Khan and the Doctor.

The story was a little repetitive with the constant escape attempts and all the things Tegana tried to do throughout their travels. Thankfully, it didn't drag the story down too much.

The costumes and sets look gorgeous, even in black and white telesnaps. This is a serial I would love a colourisation of, though I know it's an impossible dream unless the film is found.

I genuinely don't get the love for this story. It starts out very intriguing with the characters acting confused and suddenly attacking each other, but then more and more things happen and nothing gets explained properly. Why were they all acting like that?

I don't hate the resolution. I think it's cute, and I like the idea of something tiny going wrong and causing everything to spiral out of control. It makes for a great metaphor. I also like the soft moment between the Doctor and Barbara right at the end.

I guess my problem with this story is that it feels like it's having an identity crisis. It doesn't know what it wants to be or what story it's trying to tell. It's confused and all over the place and I just don't see the point of it.

I am, first and foremost, a fan of New Who. I enjoy Classic a lot, but the longer early serials have always been a struggle to get through. As such, I expected a condensed, cut down version to be a great way for me to enjoy these stories without getting too distracted or bored. Unfortunately, it doesn't work.

The colourisation is well done, though it feels like the colours were chosen more as a way to show off than to really enhance the story. We know the Thal's outfits are tan, not blue, for example, from later serials. The Dalek city being multicoloured also doesn't make sense to me, as it's supposed to be made entirely of metal, and the Daleks are colourblind. Maybe it's a clashing of expectations, but honestly, some of the shots almost gave me a headache from how vibrant they were.

The score is good, though, as others have said, it doesn't fit. The music over the escape montage was far too silly for what was supposed to be a very tense scene. There were multiple moments where I felt the score was attempting to convince me to feel certain emotions, which the original story would have caused through slow build and getting to know the characters.

So we're back to the edit. Some of the cuts are very obvious and jarring, the flashbacks serve no purpose and are more annoying than anything as they make me feel as though the creators don't trust the viewers to pay attention, the montages are more confusing than anything, and the worst part is, despite all the trimming, the story is still boring.

The problem is, this show was written and filmed in a way that allowed for long scenes and lots of breathing room. The more I watched, the more I felt there is simply no way to cut that down in a way that makes both a coherent story and a fast-paced one. That's the sort of thing that needs to be decided early in production.

Do I prefer this to the original? No. Would I choose to watch the original over this version? I'm not so sure. There is something to be said for shorter runtimes when you're trying to get through a show as massive as Doctor Who. But maybe not quite this short.

I didn't have high hopes for this book. I don't generally enjoy Dalek stories (I find most of them are very same-y and dull), and the general fandom consensus didn't give me any confidence that I would enjoy this (even if I sometimes have very different opinions to the fandom at large, as most people do). Unfortunately, this somehow went worse than I expected it to.

The story had a pretty strong start with the prologue showing a well-described battle between the Daleks and the Thals, showcasing the horrors of war. Unfortunately, the rest of the book dropped the ball when it came to grappling with that theme. Sure, Sam is a pacifist and the Thals are too war hungry and Chayn never got to know her dad, but none of that really matters, and none of it carries any emotional impact like the prologue does.

When we join the Doctor and Sam and the crew of the Quetzal things are slow, as one might expect the beginning of a story to be. The problem is, the pace never picks up. It feels very much as though the author didn't have enough plot to fill a book and instead decided to pad it out.

At the end, I don't feel like I really got to know any of the characters. They're all very one-note, and about half of them die in the first part of the book. Sam basically had nothing to do again, but this time it's made worse by her constantly commenting on it and making me overly aware of it. It doesn't help that her personality is basically reduced to "jealous of anyone who gets close to the Doctor, and also kind of a pacifist". We've spent five novels with her already, you'd think at this point she'd have a personality.

The plot itself is pretty thin. The whole thing would have probably gone exactly the same if the Doctor wasn't there. The whole thing with Skaro being destroyed or not is never properly explained - probably to leave room for fans to speculate, but it's just done poorly. Space battles and exploding Daleks are the least interesting thing Doctor Who can do, and even if those action moments weren't badly written and confusing, even if I was watching them on my screen, I wouldn't have enjoyed them one bit.

The ending with the Dalek factory on the Thal ship was extremely anticlimactic, even when Sam suddenly realised it might be booby-trapped. Then there were three or four more ending, each slightly more exciting than the last, but at that point I was just so tired of this book I didn't care. And we all know Davros will be back in five books.

The most fun thing about this book is that now it's over and I can read Alien Bodies.

This serial is a lot better than people give it credit for. While the first episode is intriguing and atmospheric, the others are no less interesting. I might even go so far as to say I like the cavemen plotline better.

I don't care what people say; Cyberwoman is a masterpiece of modern storytelling, start to finish.

It begins before the episode even starts, with three previous episodes showing exactly how well Ianto can blend into the background. On first watch I liked him, but never knew he was going to be important. On every subsequent watch I've noticed moments with him I missed the first time. It's the combined power of writing, directing, and editing in the first three episodes that set this one up to be the masterpiece that it is.

The episode starts with a focus on Ianto. It's an immediate double subversion: we expect more of the rest of the team, we get the teaboy; we expect a sort of day in the life/secret life of... style episode, and we get, well, Cyberwoman. There's intrigue right off the bat.

And then we get our first view of how Ianto feels, all with a few expertly framed shots: the rest of the team playing while Ianto watches, unnoticed, behind bars. He's both closed off and fenced off from the rest of the team, very obviously separate. When they leave the Hub, Jack doesn't even look at him when he tosses him the ball. Absolutely perfect.

Then we get a glimpse of his expression, so unlike everything we've seen from him before. Up to this point, Ianto has either been completely blank-faced, or smiling politely. Here, for just a moment, we see him scared.

We are one minute into the episode.

The intrigue builds as someone we've never seen before enters the Hub, clearly for the first time, continues as Ianto leads him deeper into the Hub, and eventually comes to a head as the titular Cyberwoman is revealed (with really good music overtop, I might add). And then Ianto kisses her. Wow!

Alright, I can't keep putting this off, so as the opening theme plays, I'll address the elephant in the room: the Cyberwoman costume.

I care about costuming. A good costume can make a story for me; my first review on this site was for Pyramids of Mars, simply because I had to commend the beautiful dress Sarah Jane wore in that. I went to fashion school, learned how to design clothes and costumes. I know what I'm talking about.

Originally, I wasn't going to even try and defend the costume. It's a bad costume. It was designed to fit a straight man's definition of "sci-fi sexy", with no care towards anything else. My original line of reasoning went something like this:

I don't think that matters. If we can look past bad CGI or bad dinosaur models, why can't we look past a bad costume? People love The Arc in Space for the bubble wrap monsters, but hate Cyberwoman for her cyber-heels, and that's a double standard I simply will not stand for. This story is good, and there's absolutely no reason why a single poorly thought-out costume should get in the way of that.

However, the more I think about it, the more I believe it serves a purpose. You see, this story grapples a lot with objectification, brutality, and loss of humanity: all things a Cyberman story should focus on. The costume only helps to convey that. I've seen plenty of people complain that the modern Cybermen costumes aren't human enough, aren't a constant reminder of what is hiding under all that metal. Well, here we have one that not only exposes the human, but puts it on display: naked yet covered, sexualised yet horrifying, human yet not. This is the be-all end-all of Cybermen.

The episode itself continues those themes: Tanizaki says "anything", and Ianto immediately corrects him to "anyone". Then Tanizaki proceeds to touch her inappropriately, completely disregarding the fact that she is still, for the most part and until proven otherwise, human. Ianto is clearly made uncomfortable by it, something that will reoccur throughout the episode; he's the only one who seems to remember she's human, underneath it all.

The second thing this story is about is Ianto. I find it interesting that we get an episode centred on him before one centred on Tosh or Jack. Ianto is, on some level, more of a connection to Doctor Who than Jack is. He was at the battle of Canary Wharf, where the last episode of Doctor Who was set, and we get to see the aftermath of it through his eyes. More than that, he embodies the essence of Doctor Who, where he's unwilling to leave someone to die if there's a chance they can be saved. More on that later.

Something I find really interesting in this episode is the dichotomy between Ianto and the rest of the team at the beginning of the episode. Of course, they're on opposite sides for most of it, but the contrast is set up really well, with the team going out and cracking jokes, basically smiling the entire time until things start going wrong, while Ianto is constantly scared, running, hiding. Even when Lisa manages to breathe and walk on her own Ianto's smile is tense.

The episode picks up speed with the first death: the failed cyber-conversion of Dr. Tanizaki. I would like to point out one of my absolute favourite moments in the entire whoniverse:

LISA: His conversion failed.

IANTO: Was it an accident? Tell me you didn't do this.

Ianto is completely unable to accept that Lisa might have hurt someone. He continuously makes excuses: the real Lisa couldn't have done this, is was an accident, a mistake, something went wrong but she's in control again.

And the thing is, Lisa goes with it. When he pushes her back in anger, you can see in her micro-expressions that Ianto has suddenly become her next target. But a moment later, when he switches back from anger to sorrow and fear, she calms down as well.

Despite it all, Lisa loves him just as much as he loves her. No other love saves the day or Cyberman story is doing it like them.

As the heart of Torchwood, Gwen is the only person other than Ianto to consider Lisa a person from the start, but unlike Ianto, she doesn't stick with that mindset for long.

Jack obviously becomes suspicious of Ianto very quickly, but I find it interesting that it takes Ianto apologising to Gwen rather than stoping Jack from shooting Lisa to get him there. Then he spends the walk out of the room watching Ianto very carefully, trying to suss him out, which finally culminates in the face-off in the main room of the Hub.

In fact, this scene is a culmination of every episode that has led up to it. Gwen questioned Jack once, got an answer, and now she just watches on in horror, until she has the opportunity to question Ianto's motivation. Tosh, who has been as sidelined as Ianto (and will soon receive her own episode in which she is ostracised from the team), is seemingly the one who has the biggest problem with Jack pointing a guy at Ianto, but she's nothing if not loyal to Jack. And Owen's a twat.

This is where the setup of the previous three episodes pays off. None of the other team members really knew Ianto. He was always sort of invisible, so none of them bothered to interact with him. None of them noticed anything was wrong. And none of them have ever given him reason to trust them.

And we're back to Doctor Who parallels. On some level, Ianto is the quintessential companion, while Jack is the Doctor, older and wiser and full of experience. He knows these aliens, he knows the evils of the universe, and he knows that sometimes you can't save everyone, while Ianto still believes that with hard work and the power of love, anyone can be saved. But unlike the common companion, Ianto doesn't yet trust or follow his Doctor figure. He won't stop just because Jack made a big speech.

I would like to posit an argument: at its core, once you look past the hypersexualisation and gore, Cyberwoman is the most Doctor Who episode of Torchwood. It's a story about love persevering against all odds, about the lengths people will go to to save the ones they love; it's also a story about the fallibility of leaders and Doctor figures. We've gotten stories like this with the Seventh Doctor, with the Eighth in the EDAs, and will again with almost every modern Doctor. It's a big part of revival Who. Torchwood simply allows such a story to be stretched to a much more horrifying conclusion than a family show like Doctor Who can allow.

Ianto loves the way Jack forgot to. He loves like only a young person who has had everything important to them taken away can. Lisa is the only thing he has left of his previous life, and he will do anything to keep her.

IANTO: Can't you understand that, Jack? Haven't you ever loved anyone?

It's very telling that Jack doesn't answer. He doesn't remember what it's like to feel like that, or worse, he does remember and is aware that it doesn't happen to him anymore. In The Parting of the Ways Jack was willing to die for the Doctor and Rose, and take down many other human volunteers with him. This Jack is not that Jack. He left him a hundred years in the past, and a million in the future.

(Owen's eye roll is also quite telling, but his arc isn't the point of this episode.)

Lisa's cyberised understanding of love being what eventually causes Ianto to fail at saving her is really gutting. She still loves him, still wants to be with him, but after so long trying to save her, Ianto is unwilling to accept this version of her. It doesn't help that for every sentence he says trying to pull her back, Jack says one to goad her. I genuinely think that if Jack had not been so set in his beliefs, they would have been able to save her. It's the ultimate tragedy.

This episode marks the beginning of Gwen's affair with Owen. While it's no secret that I'm not a fan of this arc (very few people are), I think it's handled as well as it reasonably could be in this episode. Neither one of them is thinking clearly; they fear for their life, huddled in a tight space with someone they've gotten to know pretty well. It's a high tension situation, they're both sexually active, and, as Owen says:

OWEN: Last kiss for a condemned man.

At the same time, it parallels the other relationship that will bud over the course of the series: Jack and Ianto. While this kiss lacks the glow of Jack and Carys's kiss in Day One, this is likely a similar case of Jack quite literally giving the "kiss of life" to someone, rather than traditional CPR. It has interesting implications, which I have seen explored extensively in fic.

The sound design of the Cyberwoman's scream is fantastic. Absolutely blood chilling. Despite Ianto's near death experience, he immediately runs to her side when he hears it. Nothing that has happened so far has made him stop loving her. He might take a step back when she wakes up, but Gwen still has to be the one to pull him away.

The barbeque sauce for the pterodactyl might be a bit silly, but this wouldn't be Doctor Who without some camp. It's toned down by the sheer devastation in Ianto's voice as he watches the person he loves fight for her life. Against a pteronodon. Where else could you get quality content like this?

Next comes one of the most iconic scenes in the entire show: Ianto punching Jack in the face. The first time I watched this episode, I was rooting for Ianto from the start, and as the story progressed I became angrier and angrier at Jack. I am not exaggerating when I say that when Ianto punched him, I cheered. It's such a fantastic moment, a great release of catharsis to help the viewer make it to the end. This episode would be a 5/5 for this moment alone, but of course, it's all the build-up that makes it as good as it is.

IANTO: You're worse than anything locked up down there. One day, I'll have the chance to save you, and I'll watch you suffer and die.

God, what a powerful line. Watch you suffer and die is the name of my Jack/Ianto playlist that I can't listen to without crying.

The pizza delivery girl is unnamed in the episode but is listed as "Annie" in the credits. She calls Ianto by name, and you get the feeling that they're somewhat familiar with each other, perhaps more close than Ianto is with any of his team members. It gives an added weight to what happens to her. Lisa appearing behind her covered in blood is a genuinely good jumpscare.

This episode really exemplifies just how different Torchwood's Jack is from the Jack we knew in series 1 of Doctor Who. He acts like he's giving Ianto a chance to redeem himself, but what he's really doing is sending him off on a suicide mission to kill the only person he has left, the woman he loves. Both Tosh and Gwen voice their distaste, but Jack made up his mind. From this point onwards, it's an uphill battle for Jack to redeem himself in my eyes. It's an interesting choice for the co-protagonist of this show, but one that works with the themes of Torchwood.

Ianto comes into the hub, sees the pizza boxes, and immediately realises what happened (they forgot his coleslaw). The music builds and builds, and suddenly cuts out as Lisa's body is revealed. He takes her head into his lap like he will eventually do with Jack the many times he dies, and beholds the blood on his own hands. This is the end, and finally, Ianto has to grieve and let her go, come to terms with everything he did in his efforts to save her. Right?

WRONG! Lisa, in an effort to pay back Ianto for trying so hard to save her, has gone and made herself human for him. This, right here, is the emotional core of the episode. It makes me cry more than anything else. Despite everything, it is still Lisa in Annie's body. The Lisa who loves him and remembers their dates, the mundane little things. The same Lisa he would do anything for. We can talk about what it is that makes us human and what exactly makes us who we are forever, but I will always stand by my opinion that it is Lisa. And Ianto knows that too, and that is why he hugs her, and that is why he won't shoot, no matter how much he knows he should.

His ten minutes are up, and Gwen is the only one who can't look him in the eye.

But in the end, Ianto goes right back to it, "suited and smiling", to become the invisible person cleaning up after everyone else once again. With Lisa gone, it's the only thing he has left.

And that's it. The most unnecessarily hated episode of Torchwood. I could spend another thousand words going over the minutiae of every little detail, but we've been here long enough. A few more notes, and then I'm done.

The acting is absolutely phenomenal. From Ianto's mask slipping into place whenever he's around literally anyone other than Lisa, to Lisa's micro-expressions and body language, to Jack's full-body tension once he realises what's going on. Even Annie, who's in the episode for all of five minutes, does a spectacular job.

The music is great as usual, especially the piece playing over the initial reveal of the Cyberwoman and the hauntingly beautiful one playing over her death.

The sound design is clever, making Lisa's voice increasingly mechanical until she ditches her cyberised body, only wavering for a few short moments of humanity.

I hope that all this has at least helped some people reconsider the merits of this episode, if not completely change some minds. I've watched this episode more times than I can count (five in just the first week if finishing the show), and it means a lot to me.

This is one of the worst pieces of Doctor Who media I have ever had the displeasure of consuming. It's just so unbearably dull. This story truly proves the saying that the worst thing a Doctor Who story can be is boring.

Courtroom dramas are hard to pull of at the best of times. With an unlikeable lead, no flashbacks, only one witness (who doesn't even speak), a judge who lacks enthusiasm and a prosecutor who only has one facial expression it was doomed to fail from the start.

Who genuinely thought making a spin-off with Sil would be a good idea? I have never heard a single person say they like this character, or even care about him at all.

The entire thing is endlessly repetitive, which was useful to me, because I didn't have subtitles and found it tremendously difficult to focus on what people were saying when I was already bored out of my mind, but doesn't actually make it good. Most of the runtime was dedicated to people standing around and talking in the worst way possible.

None of the more "action-y" bits had any impact on the plot. Sil tried to bribe the guards to help him escape, and they took the money and turned him in. There were two or three different assassination attempts, and none of them went anywhere. Sil got alien Sophie Aldred to give him a bath in one of the most uncomfortable scenes I've ever had to sit through.

Other than the story itself, the dialogue was poorly written, most of the actors were either over- or under-acting, leading to stilted performances, and the prosthetics look unfinished and poorly blended. I could see the seams on Sil's rubber fingers.

The only bit of praise I can even attempt to offer is that the CGI of the opening sequence is pretty solid.

I would not recommend this to anyone. In fact, I would recommend people avoid this outright. I expected it to be bad, but I thought it might be a case of "so bad it's good", but it's not. It's just bad.

There's a lot I like about this book. The characterisation of the main team is spot-on, the jokes mostly land, the plot is fast-paced and generally interesting.

There's also a lot I feel falls flat, and some things I actively dislike. I don't think those things overshadow the good parts, but they definitely make this novel less good than it could have been.

Starting with the elephant in the room: James. The way he's introduced made me think he might have actually been introduced in the previous book, which I had skipped, but that isn't something that is usually done with tie-in novels, so I knew it had to be an Adam situation. Unfortunately, that means I was comparing it to an infinitely superior story, which didn't do this book any favours. I don't hate James. I think he's a generally fun and enjoyable character. I don't think he really fits with Torchwood, however. He's a bit too...normal, for lack of a better word. Plain, maybe. The average protagonist, which works for getting the reader to like him, but doesn't really work to entrench him in the story, at least for me.

I'm not big on Gwen in this. While the other characters mostly get good moments that fit with the way they are in the main show, Gwen just gets a rehash of her cheating arc. It is done better here than in the show, but I really wish they didn't make her a serial cheater; I just don't think it works with her character, and it reeks of misogyny. They could have done literally anything else with her.

Then there's the plot. I really like the concept of the salesman; that kind of low-stakes story is one Torchwood does really well. I also liked the giant robot and Taff Jones; it had a lot of heart, made me feel things (I'm so glad the cat was okay), and the action scenes were expertly done. But both of those in the same book, neither of which contributed to the main plot? And what was with the house, and the Amok, and the weird bit of time travel? It was all enjoyable enough while I was reading, but once I reached the end of the book and all those threads were left dangling, I was just left disappointed. A single book doesn't have the right format to mimic multiple episodes of a show, which I feel is what was attempted here.

The ending, in general, was a bit lackluster. It was all over very quickly, with what I felt was a pretty poor explanation, and basically no time to marinate in it. Maybe one of those random side-quests could have been cut to give the main story a bit more time to breathe.

This is quite a step up from the previous book. I really, really enjoyed this, to the point where I simply couldn't put it down for the latter half of the book, a first for this series.

That's not to say it doesn't have its problems; the fatphobia is really uncomfortable (a fat character who is constantly eating? Really?), and the disability could have been handled better (though it was already handled a lot better than I would have expected from something written in the 90's, in my personal opinion). The character of Jacob was a little too over-the-top, almost cartoonish, in a way that didn't really work with the vibe of the rest of the book. I have mixed feelings on Jo being there; while I loved seeing her again, I felt that she didn't really have all that much to do, and perhaps giving her role to one of the two new women characters would have worked better. Then there's the prologue, which feels distinctly racist in the way that white people write about Native Americans.

But that's literally all the bad things I have to say about this book. It might seem like a lot, put in a neat list like that, but it really isn't when the rest of the book is so well put together. The plot is interesting and gripping, every twist and turn makes sense and reveals more. The worldbuilding is fantastic, the aliens alien enough without being unimaginable. The character motivations all make sense. It's just a really good book. Not perfect, but really good. I would happily recommend this book to any Doctor Who/sci-fi fan.