“Nothing’s sad until it’s over, and then everything is.”

“Courage isn’t just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.”

“Never be cruel. Never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.”

“Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.”

“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.”

“Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.”

DOCTOR: How much are they paying you?

ROSSINI: Come, come, Doctor. Gentlemen don't discuss money.

DOCTOR: Nonsense, gentlemen never talk about anything else.

ROMANA: How did you know?

DOCTOR: Oh, knowing's easy. Everyone does that ad nauseam. I just sort of hope.

MIKE: I found him wandering the streets.

DOCTOR: I was not wandering the streets. I was merely contemplating certain local cartographic anomalies.

IAN: Susan Foreman? She your problem too?

BARBARA: Yes.

IAN: You don't know what to make of her?

BARBARA: No.

IAN: How old is she, Barbara?

BARBARA: Fifteen.

IAN: Fifteen. She lets her knowledge out a bit at a time so as not to embarrass me. That's what I feel about her. She knows more science than I'll ever know. She's a genius. Is that what she's doing with history?

BARBARA: Something like that.

ACE: Master? Who's he?

DOCTOR: An evil genius. One of my oldest and deadliest of enemies.

ACE: Do you know any nice people? You know, ordinary people, not power-crazed nutters trying to take over the galaxy?

“You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the arts, the gentle art of fisticuffs.”

LIGHT: You are endlessly agitating, unceasingly mischievous. Will you never stop?

DOCTOR: I suppose I could. It would make a change.

ROMANA: Yes, they taught me at school how to stop my hearts.

TYSSAN: Hearts? How many have you got?

ROMANA: One for casual, one for best.

“Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers nine on the Richter scale? Run!”

BELAZS: What are you doing here?

DOCTOR: That's a very difficult question. Why is everyone round here so preoccupied with metaphysics?

LAURENCE: How could you possibly know that?

DOCTOR: Well, you see, Mister Scarman, I have the advantage of being slightly ahead of you. Sometimes behind you, but normally ahead of you.

LAURENCE: I see.

DOCTOR: I'm sure you don't, but it's very nice of you to try.

DOCTOR: The Earth isn't my home, Sarah. I'm a Time Lord.

SARAH JANE: I know you're a Time Lord.

DOCTOR: You don't understand the implications. I'm not a human being. I walk in eternity.

SARAH JANE: What's that supposed to mean?

DOCTOR: It means I've lived for something like seven hundred and fifty years.

SARAH JANE: Oh, you'll soon be middle aged.

SPANDRELL: I think you're going to be executed for it. They are preparing the vaporisation chamber now. You have about three hours to live, Doctor.

DOCTOR: What? Well, that's monstrous. Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution.

BRIGADIER: A few months ago, the superpowers, Russia, America and China, decided upon a plan to ensure peace. All three powers have hidden atomic missile sites. All three agreed to give details of those sites plus full operational instructions to another neutral country. In the event of trouble, that country could publish everyone's secrets and so cool things down. Well, naturally enough, the only country that could be trusted with such a role was Great Britain.

DOCTOR: Well, naturally, I mean, the rest were all foreigners.

“I say, what a wonderful butler. He's so violent.”

DAVROS: The Daleks shall become Lords of Time! We shall become all-

DOCTOR: - Powerful. Crush the lesser races. Conquer the galaxy. Unimaginable power. Unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.

“Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving? It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go. That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.”

“Cos sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit in the stratosphere, alone, left to choose.”

DOCTOR: He asked you a question. Will you help me?

CLARA: You shouldn't have been listening.

DOCTOR: I wasn't. I didn't need to. That was me talking. You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like? I'm not on the phone, I'm right here, standing in front of you. Please, just, just see me.

“I can't! Why is it always me? Why is it never anybody else's turn? Can't I just lose? Just this once?”

“I know these teeth. What? What? What?!”

“Winning? Is that what you think it's about? I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because, because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun and God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do, because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. You're going to die too, some day. How will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand, is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help, a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?”

“I've finally run out of corridor. There's a life summed up.”

“We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.”

“Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.”

DOCTOR: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

AMELIA: Yes.

DOCTOR: Everything's going to be fine.

AMY: You're worse than my aunt.

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm worse than everybody's aunt.

“Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run.”

RORY: He'll be fine. He's a Time Lord.

AMY: It's just what they're called. It doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing.

“If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?”

“Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard, I can feel it through your hands. There's so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain, it's like rocket fuel. Right now, you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert, it's like you can slow down time. What's wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It's your superpower. There is danger in this room and guess what? It's you.”

WAR DOCTOR: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes. No. I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators Sandshoes and Granddad.

WAR DOCTOR: Granddad?

DOCTOR: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown in the air and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed forever!

DOCTOR: Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.

“I've given up on that cuppa and opted for a life of abstinence.”

RORY: I have a message and a question. A message from the Doctor and a question from me. Where is my wife? Oh, don't give me those blank looks. The Twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know. You tell me now, and I'll be on my way.

CYBERLEADER: What is the Doctor's message?

(Outside, all the other ships in the Legion explode.)

RORY: Would you like me to repeat the question?

CLARA: What are you doing?

MISSY: Murdering a Dalek. I'm a Time Lady. It's our golf.

ROSSINI: (Italian) Who the heck are you? Well?

MASTER: I am usually referred to as the Master.

ROSSINI: Oh? Is that so?

MASTER: Universally.

ACE: But when?

DOCTOR: Are you looking for the butterfly?

ACE: What the one who beats its wings and tips the balance, so the hurricane forms? There isn't one, is there?

DOCTOR: Not often. They just tell the butterflies that to keep them happy.

ACE: I should have known.

DOCTOR: No, mostly they break the butterfly on the wheel of time. But over the decades, the millions of butterflies, the weather still changes somehow. That's time. A million, multi-coloured pieces of time.

“This is ridiculous! How can you go from plenty of time to running out of time in no time at all?”

DOCTOR: Paul Tanner, congratulations, you're today’s lucky winner. Ace, tell the man what he’s won.

ACE: A complete set of explanations from the Professor here. And you have no idea what a rare and precious thing that is.

BRIGADIER: Oh well, at least he won't get very far.

LIZ: You mean, before your men shoot him again?

BRIGADIER: I don't find that funny. Without this machine, the Doctor's stuck. He can't leave Earth.

LIZ: You were about to open it?

BRIGADIER: Yes.

LIZ: I think you should. There might be a policeman locked inside.

DOCTOR: That gesture you did. Yes, that's the one. It's presumably to ward off evil. It's interesting because it's also the sequence for checking the seals on a Starfall Seven spacesuit. And what makes that particularly interesting is that you don't know what a Starfall Seven spacesuit is, do you.

(The Doctor holds a jelly baby under the nose of the red-haired warrior.)

DOCTOR: Now drop your weapons, or I'll kill him with this deadly jelly baby.

DOCTOR: Greetings.

CARETAKER: I am the Chief Caretaker.

DOCTOR: And I am-

CARETAKER: No need to tell me. I know who you are. We have been waiting for this momentous visit for so many years. You are the man who brought Paradise Towers to life. The visionary who dreamed up its pools and lifts and squares. And now you have returned to your creation. You will make all those dilapidated lifts and rise and fall as they've never done before. All signs of wallscrawl will disappear from the corridors of Paradise Towers. The floors will gleam and the windows will shine, and will be made as new. Fellow Caretakers, do you know who this is? This is the Great Architect returned to Paradise Towers. Bid him welcome. All Hail the Great Architect, all hail.

CARETAKERS: All hail the Great Architect.

DEPUTY: What shall we do with him now then, Chief?

CARETAKER: Kill him.

DOCTOR: That's calmed her down a bit. She's very temperamental when she's roused, isn't she.

JO: You know, I never know whether you're joking or not, I, Ow. Oh, I think I've bruised my tailbone.

DOCTOR: Sorry about your coccyx, Jo, but these little things are sent to try us.

JO: My what?

DOCTOR: Coccyx. Your tailbone.

MASTER [on scanner]: I'm sorry about your coccyx too, Miss Grant. How very sociable of you both to drop in.

TURLOUGH: Tegan, no!

(The Doctor floats to the surface, face down.)

TEGAN: Doctor!

TURLOUGH: There's nothing we can do.

TEGAN: We can't just leave him.

TURLOUGH: Face it, Tegan. He's drowned.

(The Doctor sinks below the surface again.)

MICKEY: So what's the deal with the tin dog?

SARAH: The Doctor likes travelling with an entourage. Sometimes they're humans, sometimes they're aliens, and sometimes they're tin dogs. What about you? Where do you fit in the picture?

MICKEY: Me? I'm their Man in Havana. I'm the technical support. I'm. Oh, my God. I'm the tin dog.

JO: A mind probe?

DOCTOR: Oh, you don't want to worry about those things, Jo. As long as you tell them the truth, they can't do you any harm.

JO: They can't?

DOCTOR: No, of course not. Well, they're only sort of computers with a few extra knobs on. And you know how stupid computers can be, don't you? Now come and sit down, stop worrying. Come on. Sit down. Did I ever tell you the story about how I was once captured by the Medusoids?

JO: What are they?

DOCTOR: Medusoids? How can I describe them to you? Well, they're a sort of hairy jellyfish with claws, teeth and a leg.

JO: Erk!

DOCTOR: Anyway, they put me under one of these mind probes things, you see, and tried to get me to tell them where I was going. So, I said I was on my way to meet a giant rabbit, a pink elephant and a purple horse with yellow spots.

JO: What happened?

DOCTOR: Well, the poor old machine just couldn't believe it, had a nervous breakdown.

JO: And then what happened?

DOCTOR: Well, they put me under another one of these mind probe things and the same thing happened.

JO: But you weren't telling the truth. I mean, you weren't really going to meet a giant rabbit, a pink elephant and a, what was it?

DOCTOR: A purple horse with yellow spots. Yes, I was. You see, they were all delegates for the third Intergalactic Peace Conference.

JO: How did you get away from these things?

DOCTOR: Well they had to turn me loose eventually.

JO: Why?

DOCTOR: They ran out of mind probes.

EVELYN: Oh no. You are going to sing.

DOCTOR: Well, yes, I am.

DOCTOR: I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro Nine, have you?

ACE: What if I had?

DOCTOR: Naturally you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?

ACE: Of course not. I'm a good girl. I do what I'm told.

DOCTOR: Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.

LEELA: They mean you no cruelty when they chew on your bones.

OLD MAN: That is so. This is the life of the outsider. Why would you cross this line, sister Leela?

LEELA: When I am inside the city, old man, now, that feels like outside to me.

OLD MAN: You have been inside for many years. You have changed, for the city never does.

LEELA: There was a man. They said he was my tamer, but it was not like that. We were both of us lions, happily mated in our cage. Then came the day that he did not return. As two lions, we were proud to walk the city, but one lion alone does not make a pride. There is not even the Doctor. Not anymore.

“I really didn't know. I wasn't sure. You lose sight sometimes. Thank you! I am not a good man! I am not a bad man. I am not a hero. And I'm definitely not a president. And no, I'm not an officer. Do you know what I am? I am an idiot, with a box and a screwdriver. Just passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have, because I've got them. Always them. Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise.”

DOCTOR: You betrayed me. Betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for. You let me down!

CLARA: Then why are you helping me?

DOCTOR: Why? Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

BRIGADIER: What the blazes is that? Some kind of ornament?

YATES: Not exactly, sir. Watch.

(Yates throws a rock at Bok, who zaps it into atoms.)

BRIGADIER: Yes, I see what you mean. Never mind, we'll soon fix him. Jenkins!

JENKINS: Sir.

BRIGADIER: Chap with the wings there. Five rounds rapid.

(No effect, of course.)

MEL: Doctor, before this regeneration you were on keen on cats and you know what curiosity did to them.

DOCTOR: Leave the quotes to the expert, Mel.

(They go along a cat walk to the cliff wall under the launch platform.)

MURRAY: Hey, this doesn't look like Disneyland.

DOCTOR: No, well, according to my reckoning, it seems to be somewhere in, er, Wales.

GUARD: Oh, you've no idea what a relief it is for me to have such a stimulating philosophical discussion. There are so few intellectuals about these days. Tell me, what do you think of the assertion that the semiotic thickness of a performed text varies according to the redundancy of auxiliary performance codes?

DOCTOR: Yes.

DOCTOR: Excuse me. What's your attitude towards the nature of existence? For example, do you hold any strong theological opinions?

GUARD: I think you'll find most educated people regard mythical convictions as fundamentally animistic.

DOCTOR: I see. That's a very interesting concept.

GUARD: Personally, I find most experiences border on the existential.

DOCTOR: Well, how do you reconcile that with the empirical critical belief that experience is at the root of all phenomena?

GUARD: I think you'll find that a concept can be philosophically valid even if theologically meaningless.

DOCTOR: So, what you're saying is that before Plato existed, someone had to have the idea of Plato.

DOCTOR: Where were we? We need as much intel as we can get. If we're going to protect Rosa, we need to know the facts of her life. Home address, daily routine, where she works, the routes she takes, and the church she attends. Also, the name of the driver she refused.

GRAHAM: I know that. It's James Blake.

RYAN: How do you know that?

GRAHAM: Well, your Nan, when she found out I was a bus driver, said to me, you'd better not be like James Blake. Blake the snake, that's what she called him. And I had to ask her who he was and she just said he gave all bus drivers a bad name.

YASMIN: She said that when you'd only just met?

GRAHAM: Yeah.

“Hello, welcome to my mind! Sorry for the mess.”

(Leela has an old man at knife-point. A bicycle lies at their feet.)

LEELA: He came armed and silent.

DOCTOR: You must have been sent by Providence.

MOSS: No, I was sent by the Council to cut the verges.

LEELA: Your Council should choose its warriors more carefully. A child of the Sevateem could have taken you.

MOSS: Escaped from somewhere, hasn't she? If you're her doctor, you shouldn't let her wander around loose. She could do someone a damage.

LEELA: He was not hunting us?

DOCTOR: No. Would you like a jelly baby?

MOSS: You've both escaped from somewhere, haven't you.

DOCTOR: Frequently. What's the nearest village?

“There's this emperor and he asks this shepherd's boy, how many seconds in eternity? And the shepherd's boy says there's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it! Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiselled away, the first second of eternity will have passed! You must think that's a hell of a long time. Personally, I think that's a hell of a bird.”

“London...what a dump.”

SARAH: Linx?

DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps you're lucky enough not to have met him yet. Nasty, brutish and short just about sums him up.

“A corporation is a very special kind of monster.”

POLLY: But don't you see? Human beings can't be friends with Daleks. They don't have friends.

VALMAR: I don't see why not.

POLLY: It's a kind of hatred for anything unlike themselves. They think they're superior.

MEL: Is this thing safe?

DOCTOR: Absolute deathtrap, Melanie B.

“Fan fiction, Jones me old mate who currently can't hear me, brilliant, isn't it? Keeps ideas alive. I love a bit of cosplay, me.”

CATHY: The deaths, The number of deaths associated with this project. First of all, there was the entire team of the European Safety Inspectors.

MARGARET: But they were French! Its not my fault if Danger Explosives was only written in Welsh.

CATHY: And then there was that accident with the Cardiff Heritage Committee.

MARGARET: The electrocution of that swimming pool was put down to natural wear and tear.

CATHY: And then the architect?

MARGARET: It was raining, visibility was low. my car simply couldn't stop.

CATHY: And then just recently, Mister Cleaver, the government's nuclear adviser.

MARGARET: Slipped on an icy patch.

CATHY: He was decapitated.

MARGARET: It was a very icy patch.

“And yes, our effects are primitive and our sets sometimes wobble. No one really minds. It's the stories they want to see.”

SKAGRA: Take over the universe? How childish. Who could possibly want to take over the universe?

DOCTOR: Exactly. That's what I keep telling people. It's a troublesome place, difficult to administer. And as a piece of real estate, it's worthless, because by definition there'd be no one to sell it to.

CHRONOTIS: More tea, my dear?

ROMANA: Lovely. Two lumps, no sugar.

“My dreams of conquest! You have brought this calamity upon me!”

ALICE: Honestly, has anyone ever tried to throttle you with that bowtie?

DOCTOR: Well, this one happens to be a clip-on. And also... yes. Hence the clip-on.

“I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid.”

DOCTOR: You may be a doctor, but I'm the Doctor. The definite article, you might say.

HARRY: Look here, Doctor. You're not fit

DOCTOR: Not fit? Not fit? Of course I'm fit. All systems go!

(The Doctor karate chops a handy brick in half then does some vigorous running on the spot.)

HARRY: I say.

Mary: What ya' doin'?

Romana: Trying some escapology.

Mary: You're a magician?

Romana: I said trying. Not succeeding.

Muffin Man: Muffins! Here's yer muffins!

Doctor: You know, I can't believe it! It's still the same muffin man. He hasn't changed a bit! Who sells muffins for ten years, eh? Where's the career structure; what's his life plan? The lack of ambition! Admirable. Enjoying it, Litefoot?

Litefoot: [makes eating noises]. We really must stop meeting like this, Doctor. If we eat muffins after every adventure, it won't be the monsters that finish me off, it'll be my waistline!

Ian: None of us has betrayed your friendship, Alexander. Because we are all innocent.

Alexander: Is that all you have to say?

Ian: Yes. You cannot support innocence with a million flowery words. Innocence stands out on its own, like a beacon. Maybe you can't see it now, but one day you will. And if you kill us, on that day, you will regret the injustice.

“Honestly, the more unsociable I am, the more people try to get in touch. I should try reverse psychology. Be friendly.”

POLICEMAN: Sir, ma'am, go back to your vehicle.

GRACE: What? Stop! He's er, he's British.

DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose I am. Jelly baby, officer?

POLICEMAN: Jelly baby?

GRACE: Just take it.

(The policeman takes a sweet and sniffs it while the Doctor makes lip-smacking noises. When he bites into it, the Doctor takes his gun and points it at his own chest.)

DOCTOR: Now, would you stand aside before I shoot myself.

AMY: One little girl crying. So?

DOCTOR: Crying silently. I mean, children cry because they want attention, because they're hurt or afraid. But when they cry silently, it's because they just can't stop. Any parent knows that.

AMY: Are you a parent?

DOCTOR: Hundreds of parents walking past who spot her and not one of them's asking her what's wrong, which means they already know, and it's something they don't talk about. Secrets. They're not helping her, so it's something they're afraid of. Shadows, whatever they're afraid of, it's nowhere to be seen, which means it's everywhere. Police state.

OFFICER COSTA: Name and date of birth?

DOCTOR: Well how would I know? I don't even know who he is yet!

OFFICER COSTA: Your name and date of birth.

DOCTOR: Oh, well, I'm called the Doctor. Date of birth, difficult to remember. Sometime quite soon, I should think.

[On the First Doctor]

"I soon found myself distracted by the Doctor. He was sat in a chair beside a large, blue box that looked very out of place in the trench. It had the words 'Police Public Call Box' written across the top above the doors. But neither the chair nor the box seemed as out of place as the man himself. His hair was white, his face lined with age. He was clearly too old for service, but there was something more to him than that. Somehow, he seemed to be the antithesis of the war itself, an incarnation of absolute peace, as forceful as the total war waging in the world around him.

“"I stood in the console room, my hands hovering over the door control. A part of me wanted to run, to go and find something wonderful and incredible and fun to see. To remind myself of the wonders of history, rather than the horrors. But the turbulence in the time vortex around the war had grown too great to ignore. 'Somebody has to do something about it.' I said to myself as I opened the doors. 'I can't keep putting it off forever'. So I stepped out of the TARDIS into the last days of the First World War."”

'Then why bring me back here!' Caxton asked. His voice was desperate, pleading. 'Why bring me back here if I'm not supposed to stop it! Does someone hate me that much?'

'Time doesn't hate.' I said. 'It doesn't think, or feel, or care. Time is implacable, immovable, unchangeable, and eternal. It isn't cruel, or kind. It just is.'

(Add Thomas Caxton Tag?)

“I offer you all the wisdom of the Lords of Time at your fingertips and all you want is better fishing.”

“"He wished he could believe that the Doctor knew exactly what he was doing, but he was beginning to suspect that the fellow just did whatever occurred to him, whenever it happened to occur."”

'My people constructed huge bowships that could fire massive stakes made of incorruptible metal through the enormous black hearts of these creatures. The mistake we made, because fundamentally my people are very lazy, was making these bowships intelligent.

'Intelligent?' repeated MacFarlane. 'Is that even possible?'

'Everything is possible in an infinite universe. But yes, artificial intelligence is a thing. Not necessarily a good thing, though as we found. Some of the bowships refused to cooperate, and some went rogue. Some unionized, and refused to attack any Great Vampires without adequate compensation and guarantees of survival. And some developed ways of dealing with the Great Vampires that we hadn't anticipated. That, I'm afraid, is what we're dealing with here.'

“It's always premature to declare victory. There's always someone or something to carry on the fight.”

“I knew that the Doctor would never really let me come to real harm. Although as we approached the very depths of Rotten Cobs, I couldn't help remembering all the terrible times when he had let really awful things happen to me. In Chroma, for instance. And Paris. And that moon with all the robots, and all kinds of places. It wasn't quite true that he was there to whisk me out of peril. Sometimes Mrs. Wibbsey has to come to her own rescue.”

“Why can't people be nice to one another, just for a change. I mean, I'm an alien, and you don't want to drag me into a swamp, do you. You do.”

DOCTOR: Hold it, hold it. Now, tell them what I've got here.

DAVROS: He is holding a primed explosive device.

DOCTOR: And one false move, and it goes right down inside his chair. I'll turn Davros and his life-support system into scrap metal. Now spack off!

Styre: I shall kill you all now, but first I have more important tasks to perform.

(Styre goes into his spaceship)

(The piano playing and the conversations stop dead when our trio walk in. The Doctor goes to the bar.)

DOCTOR: Tea. But the strong stuff. Leave the bag in.

(A man in a top hat starts measuring the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: But I don't need a new suit.

ABRAHAM: I'm the undertaker, sir.

(In another corridor they come across guards in protective gear.)

DOCTOR: Excuse me, can you help me? I'm a spy.

(And he bangs their heads together.)

CLARA: You can't do this. You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people.

DOCTOR: I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight...

CLARA: Human beings are not otters!

DOCTOR: Exactly. It'll be even easier.

CLARA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God! It is, isn't it? You found him. You actually found Robin Hood.

(Clara goes very girlish and giggly.)

DOCTOR: That is not Robin Hood.

ROBIN: Well then, who, sir, is about to relieve you of your magic box?

(Robin draws his long sword. The Doctor walks onto the bridge.)

DOCTOR: Nobody, sir. Not in this universe or the next.

ROBIN: Well then, draw your sword and prove your words.

DOCTOR: I have no sword. I don't need a sword.

(The Doctor opens his coat and turns to prove it.)

DOCTOR: Because I am the Doctor.

(He dons a gauntlet.)

DOCTOR: And this is my spoon. En garde!

MONK: Is it an evil spirit?

DOCTOR: A woman.

(The monk crosses himself.)

ALEX: I mean, he's scared to death of everything.

DOCTOR: Pantaphobia.

ALEX: What?

DOCTOR: That's what it's called. Pantaphobia. Not a fear of pants though, if that's what you're thinking. It's a fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case.

DREAM LORD: You can't fool me. I've seen your dreams. Some of them twice. Amy. Blimey, I'd blush if I had a blood supply-- or a real face.

DOCTOR: Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?

DREAM LORD: Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground.

DOCTOR: Am I?

DREAM LORD: If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student. I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are.

AMY: But why would I choose to forget?

MANDY: Because everyone does. Everyone chooses the Forget button.

DOCTOR: Did you?

MANDY; I'm not eligible to vote yet. I'm twelve. Any time after you're sixteen, you're allowed to the see the film and make your choice. And then once every five years.

DOCTOR: And once every five years, everyone chooses to forget what they've learned. Democracy in action.

DOCTOR: Look, three options. One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name, because I won't be the Doctor any more.

LIZ: There must be something we can do, some other way.

DOCTOR: Nobody talk to me. Nobody human has anything to say to me today!

ROMANA: How many were on your ship?

TRYST: Ah, well, to begin with there was ten, but we lost one.

ROMANA: How?

TRYST: He died.

ROMANA: How did he die?

TRYST: He died.

“Why is it, Ellen, that in a world where we already have so much to contend with, we find ourselves additionally accursed by the failings of men?”

“Stop the party, I want to GET OFF!”

“[Shouting] All hail Frobisher! All hail the big talking bird!”

“For example, there might be another Earth where dinosaurs didn't suffer an extinction event... And after millennia of evolution, are sitting in gentlesaurs' clubs, smoking cigars, drinking port and saying 'top of the morning to you, Rex, old boy.'”

CLARA: English?

DOCTOR: No, Scottish. I mean Gallifreyan! See, I've got it now. Pudding-Brain Disease! What kind of pudding will my brain turn into? Baked Alaska? Blancmange? Rhubharb Crumble?

CLARA: We can only hope.

DOCTOR: This is Clara, not my assistant. She's, er, some other word.

CLARA: I'm his carer.

DOCTOR: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don't have to.

“Oh, this is brilliant. I'm so clever already, and now I'm a million times more clever. And what a brain. Not a human brain, not even slightly human. I mean, I'm going to have to completely rework the neural interface, but this is going to be the most efficient Cyberplanner. Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself Mister Clever. So much raw data. Time Lords. There's information on the Time Lords in here. Oh, this is just dreamy.”

(Brian produces a trowel and starts digging in the sand.)

RORY: Did you just have that on you?

BRIAN: Of course. What sort of man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

RORY: Dad, I'm thirty one. I don't have a Christmas list any more.

DOCTOR: I do!

DALEK: Would you care for some tea?

BRACEWELL: That would be very nice, thank you.

“I've spent so many years alone, I still find it difficult to trust people. But, you know, they're not all out to get us, and sometimes I forget that. Sometimes visitors to this world just need a friend. Come on. Let's go.”

Ace: Pass the sugar.

Hex: That stuff will kill ya.

Ace: On the list of things in this universe that are going to kill me, sugar is a long way down.

Hex: McShane!

Ace: Try to stay calm, Hex. You'll find the initial open-mouthed shock fades after an hour or so.

Hex: It will?

Ace: Oh, yeah. It's replaced by an uncomfortable nagging sense of the uncanny, which never quite goes away, but that's a lot easier to cope with in the long run than the slacked-mouth gibbering.

Hex: Is this some kind of joke?

Doctor: In the unfathomably cosmic sense, most certainly.

Jago: I just had the most terrible dream.

Litefoot: Really?

Jago: Yeah. We were on Venus with these women who had green fur. Then we were in America, then the exotic year of 1968.

Litefoot: That wasn't a dream.

Anna: Stand aside everyone, stand aside. It won't bite you unless...

(A man screams)

Anna: Unless you do that, sir.

“I'm having a dream, in which I'm being asked about another dream, in which I dreamt I was having a dream. There. There's probably a word for that.”

(On Jago)

Litefoot: He could be insufferable, you know.

Quick: Oh, I know. But he always meant well.

Litefoot: But my father once told me that 'he means well' is the most damning thing you can say about anyone. But in Henry's case, he really did care.Under that bluster and pomposity beat a heart of pure gold.

"You asked me about revenge. But I didn't finish telling you. The man who killed my father. Yes, there was a time I wanted to murder him. So much. You and I both know what that feels like.

"Nyssa" the Doctor said in a tiny, sad voice.

"But you see, I had to forgive him."

"Forgive him!" Patrick's face twisted with disgust.

"Yes. Not for what it would do for the murderer, but for what it would do for me."

Clara sighed happily. 'I thought I was going to miss my sunset.'

'A day on Venus lasts 116.75 Earth days,' said the Doctor. 'The sunsets are a sublimely leisurely experience. Plenty of time.'

'It looks like a melting ice cream.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

“Oh, Jack. Just because something's imaginary doesn't mean it can't hurt you.”

'Why, they're vegetables!' exclaimed Peri, perhaps louder than she would have wished!

Dum: NOHOW!

Dee: Contrariwise.

"Yes, you are," countered Peri, loftily. "You're turnips!" Anxiously, she wondered how they'd take this apparently startling revelation."

Dum: NOHOW! We're poets.

Dee: You like poetry?

"Ye-es," replied Peri, before she could stop herself. This whole scene had begun to take on a discomforting familiarity."

Dum: What shall we tell her? The Walnut and the Cauliflower is the longest.

Dee: I'll start! 'Ahem' 'The Sun was shining on the allotment...

Dum: ...And the cauliflower were walking through the weeds'

Dee: 'They wept like anything to see so many wasted seeds.'

TERRALL: Doctor. No doubt you're a keen student of human nature, but some things are better left alone.

DOCTOR: No, Mister Terrall, I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy, of which human nature is merely a part. All forms of life interest me.

GIRL: My mum says I shouldn't talk to strange men.

DOCTOR: Ah, you mum's right.

GIRL: Are you strange?

DOCTOR: Oh, dear. I'm way past strange. I think I'm probably incredible.

DOCTOR: Wait. Hang on. I know what I need. I need, I need, I need fish fingers and custard.

(The Doctor contentedly dips the fish fingers into a bowl of custard and eats, while Amelia has ice cream)

SECOND DOCTOR: If only I could find my recorder, I could play you a little something to pass the time.

BRIGADIER: We must be thankful for small mercies.

“This is the real McCoy, this is!”

“She's telling the truth. Just listen to her! Both of you! She says that [the Doctor is in danger], you don't get all 'What's her problem?' You get into it, start taking it apart. We're Doctor people, ladies.”

“So now all right, okay -- we're going to have some kind of 'Multi-Doctor... Event!' Whether you like it or not!”

“The problem is, you see, I'm still running on half memories. Kind of like a diary with some of the months torn out. I know what I'm doing up to June, but July's a whole new ballgame.”

“You know, Barbara -- the more we travel with the Doctor,-- the more I'm convinced that he's simply trying to kill us in a variety of inventive ways.”

LOBOS: Where have you come from?!

DOCTOR: If you take a look into your screen, perhaps you will find that out?

(walruses swimming)

LOBOS: What are these creatures?

DOCTOR: Just some old friends of mine.

LOBOS: But these are amphibious creatures. You are not an amphibian.

DOCTOR: Oh, I'm not, am I?

(the Doctor dressed in Edwardian bathing costume and straw boater)

“Now I knew what these things [the ghosts] were. I found myself searching the faces of the blank ghosts, hoping to find some comrade peering out at me. But no, nothing of the sort. Only cold, emotionless killers. The past's pain and bloodshed, ripped from history, made flesh. And now they wanted to claim us as well.”