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The trouble with the scientific approach, thought the Brigadier, was that it left you at the mercy of your scientists.
— The Brigadier, Doctor Who and the Auton Invasion
Tags: Funny
BRENDAN: It wasn't your fault, K9.
K9: Garden goblin not in my memory.
BRENDAN: Of course not.
— A Girl’s Best Friend
DOCTOR: Oh, and I met a horse.
MICKEY: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
DOCTOR: Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.
— The Girl in the Fireplace
MARIA: I'm sorry, Andrea, but you were meant to die.
— Maria Jackson, Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?
DOCTOR: I don't need authority! I have a SCREWDRIVER!
— War Doctor, Legion of the Lost
Tags: Sad
JACK: So.
IANTO: So...
JACK: You want to tell me what that was all about?
IANTO: I don't think I know. I don't… I’m broken and I just have to deal with it.
JACK: Ianto, we're all broken. Every single person on the planet is broken. We're all just dealing with it.
— Broken
DOCTOR: Ah... could someone call HR? My personal assistant has just pulled a gun on me.
— Sixth Doctor, World Enough and Time
OSGOOD: ...not the Doctor?
RIVER SONG: Oh, is there a single human female he hasn't had as a pet at some point? That boy has a kink!
— The Power of River Song
Tags: Funny Sad
STRAX: This is Commander Strax at Kitchen Sink Base to Robot Reconnaissance Crab Leader. Do you read? Over.
ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: We read you. Over.
STRAX: How goes your mission? Have you identified the source of the blockage? Over.
ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: We have encountered low-level calcification and metal fatigue in the pipe system. Additional blockage due to wax, hard fat, and other lipid deposits. We have replaced all affected areas with tinclavic alloy and re-engineered flow. Over.
STRAX: Excellent work! Are domestic hydraulic systems back online? Over.
ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: Testing... Report status. Over.
(Strax opens the tap and a steady stream of water comes out, disappearing down the drain)
STRAX: Test successful! Make safe and return to base. Mission completed. Over.
ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: Copy. Returning to base. Mis----------
(The robot reconnaissance crab leader's words cut out and static fills the channel)
STRAX: Crab leader? Crab leader?? Can you read me? Over.
(More static fills the channel)
STRAX: Robot crab platoon, can you hear me??
(A loud noise gushing noise is heard, before the signal goes dead)
STRAX: No! My crabs!
— Dining with Death
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