DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?

ROSE: Rose.

DOCTOR: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!

“They're coming. They're coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.”

“Time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook. You've got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! Or is that just me?”

“Never give up. Never give in.”

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.”

“Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight? What could possibly go wrong?”

JACKIE: Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?

DOCTOR: I am a Doctor.

JACKIE: Prove it. Stitch this, mate!

“Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.”

“I don’t want to go.”

VAN STATTEN: We're hidden away with the most valuable collection of extra-terrestrial artefacts in the world, and you just stumbled in by mistake.

DOCTOR: Pretty much sums me up, yeah.

“Jane Austen. Amazing writer, brilliant comic observer, and strictly among ourselves, a phenomenal kisser.”

CLARA: Doctor, you are not the only person who ever lost someone. It's the story of everybody. Get over it. Beat it. Break free. 

(Her hand touches his cheek.)

CLARA: Doctor, it's time. Get up, off your arse, and win!

“I know these teeth. What? What? What?!”

DOCTOR: Your race is dead! You all burnt, all of you. Ten million ships on fire. The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second.

DALEK: You lie!

DOCTOR: I watched it happen. I made it happen.

“Doctor no more.”

(Talking about Missy)

BILL: She's a murderer.

DOCTOR: Enjoying your bacon sandwich?

BILL: Why?

DOCTOR: Because it had a mummy and a daddy. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.

DOCTOR: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

AMELIA: Yes.

DOCTOR: Everything's going to be fine.

AMY: You're worse than my aunt.

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm worse than everybody's aunt.

AMY: I'm fine. It's just, there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought. Well, I started to think that maybe you were just like a madman with a box.

DOCTOR: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me, because it's important, and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box.

RORY: He'll be fine. He's a Time Lord.

AMY: It's just what they're called. It doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing.

“I never land on Sundays. Sundays are boring.”

“Oh, I'm thick! Look at me, I'm old and thick. Head's too full of stuff. I need a bigger head.”

RIVER: Got a problem with archaeologists?

DOCTOR: I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

RIVER: Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist.

RIVER: Sorry, you're not allowed to see inside the book. It's against the rules.

DOCTOR: What rules?

RIVER: Your rules.

DOCTOR: Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?

RIVER: Spoilers.

RIVER: If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you.

DOCTOR: Time can be rewritten.

RIVER: Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare. It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run.

DOCTOR: River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear. There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could.

RIVER: Hush, now. Spoilers.

DONNA: I made up the perfect man. Gorgeous, adores me, and hardly able to speak a word. What's that say about me?

DOCTOR: Everything. Sorry, did I say everything? I meant to say nothing. I was aiming for nothing. I accidentally said everything.

“When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it will never end. But however hard you try, you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies, and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark, if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.”

DOCTOR: Mister Spock?

ROSE: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name. Don't you ever get tired of Doctor? Doctor who?

DOCTOR: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.

“Funny little human brains. How do you get around in those things?”

“Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody lives!”

“Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire. When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song.”

“There's a body and there's a mummy. I mean, can you not just get on a train? Did a wizard put a curse on you about mini-breaks?”

“I died saving him. In return, he saved me to a database in the biggest library in the universe. Left me like a book on a shelf. Didn't even say goodbye. He doesn't like endings.”

“Look, my name, my real name, that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, it's like, it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise.”

“The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.”

ROSE: That was five billion years ago. So, she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead.

DOCTOR: Bundle of laughs, you are.

“I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg. It wasn't half cold.”

“Now, don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium.”

“You're happy to believe in something that's invisible, but if it's staring you in the face, nope, can't see it. There's a scientific explanation for that. You're thick.”

DOCTOR: Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?

ROSE: Umm... different.

DOCTOR: Good different or bad different?

ROSE: Just...different.

DOCTOR: Am I... ginger?

ROSE: No, you're just sort of... brown.

DOCTOR: Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger!

DOCTOR: Hello, Sarah Jane.

SARAH JANE: [softly] It's you. Doctor. Oh, my God, it's you, isn't it? [realizing] You've regenerated.

DOCTOR: Oh. Half a dozen times since we last met.

SARAH JANE: You look.... incredible.

DOCTOR: So do you.

SARAH JANE: Hm. I got old. What are you doing here?

DOCTOR: Well. UFO sighting. School gets record results. I couldn't resist. What about you?

SARAH JANE: Same.

DOCTOR: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay; you wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you-- [breaks off]

ROSE: What, Doctor?

DOCTOR: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.

DOCTOR: (with Rose on an alien planet) How long are you going to stay with me?

ROSE: Forever.

ROSE: (breaking down) Am I ever gonna see you again?

DOCTOR: You can't.

ROSE: What are you gonna do?

DOCTOR: Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life, last of the Time Lords.

ROSE: On your own?

[The Doctor nods his head]

ROSE: I... I love you.

DOCTOR: Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler...

“Rose Tyler. I was going take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place. They've got dogs with no noses. Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny.”

DOCTOR: Kate Lethbridge Stewart, a word to the wise. As I'm sure your father would have told you, I don't like being picked up.

CLARA: That probably sounded better in his head.

“Soldier, I'm going to need your gun.”

“Time Lords of Gallifrey, Daleks of Skaro, I serve notice on you all. Too long I have stayed my hand. No more. Today you leave me no choice. Today, this war will end. No more. No more.”

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business.

TENTH DOCTOR: One of them is a Zygon.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Urgh. I'm not judging you.

TENTH DOCTOR: Oooh, lovely.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Oooh, lovely.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's not working.

TENTH DOCTOR: We're both reversing the polarity.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes, I know that.

TENTH DOCTOR: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's a timey-wimey thing.

WAR DOCTOR: Timey what? Timey-wimey?

TENTH DOCTOR: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.

WAR DOCTOR: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes. No. I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators Sandshoes and Granddad.

WAR DOCTOR: Granddad?

“Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame, whatever the cost.”

MOMENT: You know the sound the TARDIS makes? That wheezing, groaning. That sound brings hope wherever it goes.

WAR DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I like to think it does.

MOMENT: To anyone who hears it, Doctor. Anyone, however lost... Even you.

CLARA: Be a doctor. You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise?

TENTH DOCTOR: Never cruel or cowardly.

WAR DOCTOR: Never give up, never give in.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Okay. Gentlemen, we're ready. Geronimo!

TENTH DOCTOR: Allons-y!

WAR DOCTOR: Oh, for God's sake. Gallifrey stands!

WAR DOCTOR: I don't suppose we'll know if we actually succeeded. But at worst, we failed doing the right thing, as opposed to succeeding in doing the wrong.

CLARA: Life and soul, you are.

“Oh yes, of course. I suppose it makes sense. Wearing a bit thin. I hope the ears are a bit less conspicuous this time.”

TENTH DOCTOR: Trenzalore. We need a new destination, because I don't want to go.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: He always says that.

DOCTOR: Sarah Jane said they were taking the people. What for? Think, Donna. When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?

DONNA: Just, the darkness is coming.

DOCTOR: Anything else?

DONNA: Why don't you ask her yourself?

METACRISIS DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no. I'm unique. Never been another like me. Because all that regeneration energy went into the hand. Look at my hand. I love that hand. But then you touched it. Wham! Shush. Instantaneous biological metacrisis. I grew out of you. Still, could be worse.

DONNA: Oi, watch it, spaceman.

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Oi, watch it, Earth girl. Ooo. I sound like you. I sound all, all sort of rough.

DONNA: Oi!

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Oi!

DONNA: Oi!

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Spanners. Shush. I must have picked up a bit of your voice, that's all. Is it? Did I? No. Oh, you are kidding me. No way. One heart. I've only got one heart. This body has got only one heart.

DONNA: What, like you're human?

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Oh, that's disgusting.

SARAH: So there's three of you?

ROSE: Three Doctors?

JACK: I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now.

“Now then, you lot. Sarah, hold that down. Mickey, you hold that. Because you know why this TARDIS always is always rattling about the place? Rose? That, there. It's designed to have six pilots, and I have to do it single handed. Martha, keep that level. But not any more. Jack, there you go. Steady that. Now we can fly this thing. No, Jackie. No, no. Not you. Don't touch anything. Just stand back. Like it's meant to be flown. We've got the Torchwood Rift looped around the TARDIS by Mister Smith, and we're going to fly Planet Earth back home. Right then. Off we go!”

JACKIE: Oh, fat lot of good this is. Back of beyond. Bloody Norway? I'm going to have to phone your father. He's on the nursery run. I was pregnant, do you remember? Had a baby boy.

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Oh, brilliant. What did you call him?

JACKIE: Doctor.

METACRISIS DOCTOR: Really?

JACKIE: No, you plum. He's called Tony.

“Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great big universe, packed into my brain. You know you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hotbinding the fragment links and superseding the binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary, binary. (gasp) I'm fine. Nah, never mind Felspoon. You know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that? Shall we go and see Charlie Chaplin? Shall we? Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester. Charlie Brown. No, he's fiction. Friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton.”

DOCTOR: Donna. Oh, Donna Noble. I am so sorry. But we had the best of times.

DONNA: No.

DOCTOR: The best. Goodbye.

DONNA: No, no, no. Please. Please. No. No.

DOCTOR: Why are you calling me madam?

YASMIN: Because you're a woman.

DOCTOR: Am I? Does it suit me?

YASMIN: What?

DOCTOR: Oh yeah, I remember. Sorry, half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman.

“Come on, Ryan. Come on, Yaz. I'm calling you Yaz, cos we're friends now.”

“Don't be daft. There's no such thing as aliens. Anyway even if there was, they ain't going to be on a train in Sheffield.”

“Once upon a time… Once upon a Time Lord, I had a best friend, and her name was Donna Noble. A Time Lord and a human, and we travelled the stars together.”

SHAUN: Oh, sat nav says they're closing all the roads.

DOCTOR: Oh, I know some roads even the taxi drivers don't. Trust me. (psychic paper) Grand Master of the Knowledge.

SHAUN: That says Grand Mistress.

DOCTOR: (to the psychic paper) Oh, catch up.

SHIRLEY: Shirley Anne Bingham, UNIT Scientific Adviser No. 56.

DOCTOR: Oh! I was Scientific Adviser No. 1.

“I don't believe in destiny, but if destiny exists, then it is heading for Donna Noble right now.”

“No such thing as spaceships? We've got a bloody Martian in the shed!”

ROSE: You're assuming "he" as a pronoun?

DOCTOR: True. Yes. Sorry. Good point. Are you he or she or they?

MEEP: My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always The Meep.

DOCTOR: Oh. I do that.

DOCTOR: You've got weapons in your wheelchair?

SHIRLEY: We all have.

DONNA: Why did this face come back?

DOCTOR: I don't know.

DONNA: To say goodbye?

DOCTOR: We're binary.

DONNA: She's not, because the Doctor's…

DOCTOR: ..male…

DONNA: ..and female.

ROSE: And neither. And more.

SHIRLEY: There's a word for you, Doctor. And that word is "jammy".

DOCTOR: Jam on toast.

DOCTOR: She just dropped some coffee into the console.

DONNA: But don't worry, he's got a time machine, which means he can blame me for all eternity.

DONNA: Was it me, or was Isaac Newton hot?

DOCTOR: He was, wasn't he? He was so hot. Oh! Is that who I am now?

DONNA: Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought…

“Allons - as idiots say - y.”

DONNA: You okay?

DOCTOR: I will be.

DONNA: When?

DOCTOR: A million years.

“Have you got the controls set to "famous", or what?”

“Kate Lethbridge-Stewart! I remember your father working night and day to keep UNIT secret, and look at you now, out and proud and defending the Earth.”

“Do you come in a range of colours?”

15th DOCTOR: Ah! It's more than that. Our whole lifetime. That Doctor that first met the Toymaker never, ever stopped. Put on trial, exiled, Key to Time, all the devastation of Logopolis.

14th DOCTOR: Adric.

15th DOCTOR: Adric. River Song. All the people we lost. Sarah Jane has gone. Can you believe that for a second?

14th DOCTOR: I loved her.

15th DOCTOR: I loved her. And Rose. But the Time War, Pandorica, Mavic Chen. We fought the Gods of Ragnarok, and we didn't stop for a second… ..to say, what the hell?

14th DOCTOR: But you're fine.

15th DOCTOR: I'm fine because you fixed yourself. We're Time Lords. We're doing rehab out of order.

15th DOCTOR: Look after him, you know? Now, you two, if you don't mind, there is a great big universe out there calling, and I've got to get going. So off you pop, old man.

14th DOCTOR: Oh. You're the old man. You're older than me.

DONNA: Actually, that is true. He's younger because you came after him. So you're the older Doctor.

15th DOCTOR: Okay, kid. I love you. Get out!

DOCTOR: Donna!

DONNA: I'm already running!

“I'm going to get killed by a Christmas tree!”

“I don't know! See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.”

“An archaeologist is just a thief. With patience.”

RIVER: The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary you were going to need.

DOCTOR: He sounds awful.

RIVER: I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it.

“When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!”

RIVER: I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.

RIVER: I had this book. History's Finest Exploding Restaurants. The best food for free. Skip the coffee.

DOCTOR: You look, er, amazing.

RIVER: Doctor, you have no idea whether I look amazing or not.

DOCTOR: Well, you've moved your hair about, haven't you?

RIVER: Well done. It's very sweet of you to try.

DOCTOR: Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.

RIVER: No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

RIVER: So, assuming tonight is all we have left.

DOCTOR: I didn't say that.

RIVER: How long is a night on Darillium?

DOCTOR: Twenty four years.

RIVER: I hate you.

DOCTOR: No, you don't.

YASMIN: I don't know what to do, Dan. I've never told anyone. Not even myself.

DAN: Just tell her.

YASMIN: It's not that easy.

DAN: Look, I took way too long to tell somebody that I liked them and then... the universe ended and everything got messy. I wouldn't want that to happen to you, Sheffield.

“I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved, that you'll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn't a time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody is very, very brave. But not as brave as they'll have to be. Because there's someone coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but trust me, he's on his way. There's a man who's never going to let us down, and not even an army can get in the way. He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better... as the Last Centurion.”

RORY: I've come from the Doctor too.

RIVER: Yes, but at a different point in time.

RORY: Unless there's two of them.

RIVER: Now, that's a whole different birthday.

AMY: Can I borrow your gun?

LORNA: Why?

AMY: Because I've got a feeling you're going to keep talking.

DOCTOR: Hello. Hello, baby.

AMY: Melody.

DOCTOR: Melody? Hello, Melody Pond.

RORY: Melody Williams.

AMY: -is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a superhero.

RORY: She's fine. Amy, she's fine. I checked. She's beautiful. Oh God, I was going to be cool. I wanted to be cool. Look at me.

AMY: You're okay. Crying Roman with a baby. Definitely cool. Come here, you.

“Oh, my God. It's the Doctor's first stars.”

“Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies, night will fall and the dark will rise, when a good man goes to war. Demons run but count the cost. The battle's won, but the child is lost.”

RIVER: It's your daughter's name in the language of the Forest.

AMY: I know my daughter's name.

RIVER: Except they don't have a word for Pond, because the only water in the forest is the River. The Doctor will find your daughter, and he will care for her whatever it takes. And I know that. It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter.

DOCTOR: The writing, the graffiti. Old High Gallifreyan. The lost language of the Time Lords. There were days, there were many days, these words could burn stars and raise up empires, and topple gods.

AMY: What does it say?

DOCTOR: Hello, sweetie.

“Like I said on the dancefloor, you might want to find something to hang on to.”

DOCTOR: Parked us? We haven't landed.

RIVER: Of course we've landed. I just landed her.

DOCTOR: But, it didn't make the noise.

RIVER: What noise?

DOCTOR: You know, the (wheezing).

RIVER: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.

DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

AMY: How come you can fly the TARDIS?

RIVER: Oh, I had lessons from the very best.

DOCTOR: Well, yeah.

RIVER: It's a shame you were busy that day.

AMY: Aren't you going to introduce us?

DOCTOR: Amy Pond, Professor River Song.

RIVER: Ah, I'm going to be a Professor some day, am I? How exciting. Spoilers.

AMY: You're so his wife.

RIVER: Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy. This is the Doctor we're talking about. Do you really think it could be anything that simple?

AMY: Yep.

RIVER: You're good. I'm not saying you're right, but you are very good.

DOCTOR: River Song, I could bloody kiss you.

RIVER: Ah well, maybe when you're older.

AMY: That's a Roman Legion.

DOCTOR: Well, yeah. The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period.

AMY: Oh, I know. My favourite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title.

DOCTOR: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.

RIVER: You wouldn't answer your phone.

“Okay, kid. This is where it gets complicated.”

RIVER: Right then, I have questions, but number one is this. What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?

DOCTOR: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

DALEK: You will be exterminated!

RIVER: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One Alpha Mezon burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.

DALEK: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor's.

RIVER: I'm River Song. Check your records again.

DALEK: Mercy.

RIVER: Say it again.

DALEK: Mercy!

RIVER: One more time.

DALEK: Mercy!

DOCTOR: I'm being extremely clever up here, and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?

RIVER: Couldn't you just slap him sometimes?

DOCTOR: You're lying.

AMY: I'm not lying.

DOCTOR: Swear to me. Swear to me on something that matters.

AMY: Fish fingers and custard.

DOCTOR: My life in your hands, Amelia Pond.

“Argh! I saw you before, at the lake. And here. But then I forgot. How did I forget? What are you?”

Doctor Song, you've got that face on again.

RIVER: What face?

DOCTOR: The "he's hot when he's clever" face.

RIVER: This is my normal face.

DOCTOR: Yes, it is.

RIVER: Oh, shut up.

DOCTOR: Not a chance.

DOCTOR: Life signs?

RIVER: No, nothing that's showing up.

DOCTOR: Those are the worst kind.

DOCTOR: Shout if you get in trouble.

RIVER: Don't worry, I'm quite the screamer. Now there's a spoiler for you.

DOCTOR: Amy, why tell me and not Rory?

AMY: Why do you think? I travelled with you in this TARDIS for so long. All that time. If I was pregnant for some of it, wouldn't it have had an effect?

AMY: I don't want to tell Rory his baby might have three heads or, like, a time head, or something.

DOCTOR: What's a time head?

AMY: I don't know, but what if it had one?

DOCTOR: A timehead.

AMY: Shut up.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then. Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh, the hair. It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of mature.”

AMY: That's Melody.

RORY: That's River Song.

RIVER: Who's River Song?

DOCTOR: Spoilers.

RIVER: Spoilers? What's spoilers?

NAZI OFFICER: What are you doing here?

RIVER: Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy Bar-Mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Fuhrer. Who's with me?

NAZI OFFICER: Shoot her.

AMY: You can't die now. I know you don't die now.

DOCTOR: Oh, Pond, you've got a schedule for everything.

RIVER: Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it?

AMY: Yes! Yes, he is!

(River pours her golden regeneration energy into the Doctor, and he revives.)

DOCTOR: River. No. What are you doing?

RIVER: Hello, sweetie.

PROFESSOR: So then, tell me. Why do you want to study archaeology?

RIVER: Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man.

DOCTOR: Look over there.

RIVER: That's me. How can I be there?

DOCTOR: That's you from the future, serving time for a murder you probably can't remember. My murder.

RIVER: Why would you do that? Make me watch?

DOCTOR: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.

“It was such a basic mistake, wasn't it, Madame Kovarian. Take a child, raise her into a perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor. Who else was I going to fall in love with?”

“Those reports of the sun spots and the solar flares. They're wrong. There aren't any. It's not the sun, it's you. The sky is full of a million, million voices saying yes, of course we'll help. You've touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came, you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you, but the universe doesn't agree.”

RIVER: I can't let you die without knowing you are loved by so many, and so much, and by no one more than me.

DOCTOR: River, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die.

RIVER: I'll suffer if I have to kill you.

DOCTOR: More than every living thing in the universe?

RIVER: Yes.

DOCTOR: I just told you my name. Now, there you go, River Song. Melody Pond. You're the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it's my fault, and I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way.

RIVER: Then you may kiss the bride.

DOCTOR: I'll make it a good one.

RIVER: You'd better.

RIVER: Rule One?

AMY: The Doctor lies.

RIVER: So do I, all the time. Have to. Spoilers. Pretending I don't know you're my mother, pretending I don't recognise a space suit in Florida.

DOCTOR: And if you read ahead and find that Rory dies? This isn't any old future, Amy, it's ours. Once we know what's coming, it's fixed. I'm going to break something, because you told me that I'm going to do it. No choice now.

AMY: Time can be rewritten.

DOCTOR: Not once you've read it. Once we know what's coming, it's written in stone.

DOCTOR: So where are we now, Doctor Song? How's prison?

RIVER: Oh, I was pardoned ages ago. And it's Professor Song to you.

DOCTOR: Pardoned?

RIVER: Mmm. Turns out the person I killed never existed in the first place. Apparently, there's no record of him. It's almost as if someone's gone around deleting himself from every database in the universe.

DOCTOR: You said I got too big.

RIVER: And now no one's ever heard of you. Didn't you used to be somebody?

DOCTOR: Weren't you the woman who killed the Doctor?

RIVER: Doctor who?

AMY: Okay, why did you lie?

RIVER: Never let him see the damage. And never, ever let him see you age. He doesn't like endings.

“Raggedy man, goodbye!”

C: Don't be ridiculous, Franklin. I've read the files. The Doctor is a man.

DOCTOR: I've had an upgrade.

“Oh time lords! Honestly! You spend your whole life believing there’s only one left, then they start turning up like buses!”

KARVANISTA: You defile the sacred legacy of my forebears.

DAN: You don't look anything like four bears.

CLARA: What are you doing?

MISSY: Murdering a Dalek. I'm a Time Lady. It's our golf.

DOCTOR: How's Stormcage?

RIVER: I'm on the first night of twelve thousand consecutive life sentences, kind of early to say.

(River's image goes to hit the Doctor, and he catches her arm in his hand.)

RIVER: How are you even doing that? I'm not really here.

DOCTOR: You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you.

RIVER: It's hard to leave when you haven't said goodbye.

DOCTOR: Then tell me, because I don't know. How do I say it?

RIVER: There's only one way I'd accept. If you ever loved me, say it like you're going to come back.

DOCTOR: Well, then. See you around, Professor River Song.

RIVER: Till the next time, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Don't wait up.

DAN: She likes you.

DOCTOR: I like her, too.

DAN: No, I mean... she likes you.

DOCTOR: I don't understand what you're saying, Dan.

DAN: I think you do. But for some reason you pretend to me, and to her, that you don't.

DAN: Has she said something to you?

YASMIN: Why? What would she say to me?

DAN: Oh, come on, Yaz. Can't you see it?

“None of us know for sure what's out there. That's why we keep looking. Keep your faith. Travel hopefully. The universe'll surprise you... constantly.”

“You’re right. Could be extremely dangerous. Unconscionably dangerous. So dangerous I haven’t thought of a word for it yet. I’d better go first!”

CLARA: How did you know I was here? Did you see me?

DOCTOR: When do I not see you?

CLARA: What, one face in all of that crowd?

DOCTOR: There was a crowd, too?

“You know what I said earlier about not being a bad date? Well, dates are not something I really do, you know. I mean, I used to. Have done. And if I was going to, believe me, it'd be with you. I think you're one of the greatest people I've ever known.”

“If this universe has taught me anything, it's that you should always hold onto every moment you can, every hour, every minute, every second. Even when all hope is gone, you should still cling on, because you can never know what fresh hope the future may bring.”

“Correctamundo! A word I have never used before and hopefully never will again.”

“So, physics. Physics, eh? Physics. Physics. Physics! Physics. Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics. I hope one of you is getting all this down.”

“It's all right. It's all right, Yaz. One last trip. Where would you choose? What flavour ice cream?”

DOCTOR: The human race, you're obsessed. You all need to get a hobby.

CLARA: I've got a hobby, thanks. It's you, by the way.

“Love from Gallifrey boys!”

DOCTOR: Come on, tell me you're impressed.

YASMIN: Oh, you're like a kid sometimes.

DOCTOR: Thanks! What, only sometimes?

DOCTOR: But the point is, if it was going to be anyone, it'd be you. But I can't.

YASMIN: Why not?

DOCTOR: Because at some point time always runs out.

KANE: You can't build an ionic membrane from scratch.

DOCTOR: If I had crayons and half a can of Spam, I could build you from scratch.

DAN: Have you ever told her?

YASMIN: Told her what?

DAN: How you feel about her.

YASMIN: I don't know what you mean.

DAN: Yeah, you do.

YASMIN: Is it that obvious?

DAN: Maybe not to a good-hearted weirdo. But I've spent four years travelling the world with you. I saw it then. You didn't half cane looking at that hologram.

YASMIN: I didn't. I mean, it were just that it... She's just... I don't know what to do, Dan. I've never told anyone. Not even myself.

DOCTOR: Honestly, Charles... Can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan!

CHARLES DICKENS: Uh, you're a what? A big what?

DOCTOR: Fan! Number one fan, that's me!

CHARLES DICKENS: How exactly are you a "fan"? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?

CLARA: I don't think I could ever forget you.

DOCTOR: Clara, I don't think you're ever going to have to.

“That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien.”

RUBY: Gallifrey? And where's that?

DOCTOR: Gone! Ruby, it's gone. It's gone. They died. There was a genocide, and they died. So the one that was adopted was the only one left. I am the last of the Time Lords. And I am so, so glad to be alive.

RUBY: Hey, but you said the TARDIS was like a chameleon, but it still looks like a police box.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's, er... it's broken. Most of the universe is knackered, babes.

DOCTOR: Sorry, I don't know who you are.

ROBERTSON: Oh, really? Cos you must be the only person on the planet that doesn't.

DOCTOR: Are you Ed Sheeran? Is he Ed Sheeran? Everyone talks about Ed Sheeran round about now, don't they?

ROBERTSON: I am not Ed Sheeran. I am Jack Robertson and this is my hotel. Just one hotel in an incredibly successful chain of hotels, which is just one small part of my business portfolio, as featured in Fortune Global 500. Does that ring a bell?

DOCTOR: Should I look impressed right now? Is that impressive?

GRAHAM: He's running for President in 2020.

DOCTOR: Ed Sheeran?

RUBY: Hang on. So the planet down below refused to stop the babies being born... but once they're born, they don't look after them?

JOCELYN: It's a very strange planet.

RUBY: It's not that strange.

DOCTOR: Into the belly of the beast. Yeah, this stuff is slippy, Rubes. Be careful.

(She slips then gets dribbled on from a pipe outlet.)

RUBY: Oh. Ah. Oh, my God. Oh, this is disgusting. Don't call me Rubes!

RUBY: So that was a normal day for you, then?

DOCTOR: No, no. That was extra-special nuts. And you, Ruby Sunday, get this. Your very own TARDIS key.

RUBY: What for?

DOCTOR: I have the whole universe at my fingertips, and I'm all on my own. So I'd love it if you came with me.

DOCTOR: In the past, right now, I live in a place called Totter's Lane. 1963, I park the TARDIS in a junkyard and live there with my granddaughter, Susan.

RUBY: Oh!

DOCTOR: Okay?

RUBY: Your what?

DOCTOR: My granddaughter.

RUBY: Susan.

DOCTOR: Oh, and I met a horse.

MICKEY: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?

DOCTOR: Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.

DONNA: I'm in my wedding dress!

DOCTOR: Yes, you look lovely! Come on!

DOCTOR: What's your first name?

FRAME: Alonso.

COMPUTER: Titanic falling.

DOCTOR: You're kidding me.

FRAME: What?

DOCTOR: That's something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonso. Whoa!

DOCTOR: Come on then, you lot. Places to go.

YASMIN: When you say places to go, where are you thinking? Where to next?

DOCTOR: I was thinking... everywhere.

DOCTOR: Are you guys all right?

YASMIN: Better now you're here.

DOCTOR: Hi. What did I miss? What am I wearing? Forced regeneration. Forced degeneration. You brought me back! Yaz, you saved my life.

YASMIN: You're welcome.

DOCTOR: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other.

MASTER: Are you asking me out on a date?

DOCTOR: I'm here.

MASTER: Doctor.

DOCTOR: Master.

MASTER: I like it when you use my name.

ROSE: Everyone leaves home in the end.

DOCTOR: Not to end up stuck here.

ROSE: Yeah, but stuck with you, that's not so bad.

DOCTOR: Yeah?

ROSE: Yes.

DOCTOR: So, the year five billion, the sun expands, the Earth gets roasted.

ROSE: That was our first date.

DOCTOR: We had chips.

ROSE: You know what? They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will.

DOCTOR: Never say never ever.

ROSE: Nah, we'll always be okay, you and me. Don't you reckon, Doctor?

DOCTOR: There's something in the air. Something coming.

ROSE: What?

DOCTOR: A storm's approaching.

(Rory is marched in at gunpoint by UNIT soldiers)

RORY: There are soldiers all over my house, and I'm in my pants!

AMY: My whole life I've dreamed of saying that, and I miss it by being someone else.

“Look after the next one. Going to take in one last sunrise.”

“What's the point of being alive if it's not to make others happy?”

DOCTOR: Take your hat off, mate.

(Skaak removes his helmet)

DOCTOR: Urgh. On second thoughts, put it back on.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Hey, look. The round things.

TENTH DOCTOR: I love the round things.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: What are the round things?

TENTH DOCTOR: No idea.

“Oh, my Bridgerton! This is my actual dream!”

“ (sings) Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure imagination. Take a look and you'll see, into your imagination.”

DOCTOR: (sotto) Say anything.

(Rogue goes down on one knee and holds up a ring.)

DOCTOR: Sorry. I c... I ca...

ROSE: If you are an alien, how comes you sound like you're from the North?

DOCTOR: Lots of planets have a North.

DOCTOR: Now listen to me, young man. Sit down. Now, there are two things you can do. One, sit there until you get your breath back, and two, don't call me Doc! Now do I make myself clear?

STEVEN: Yes, yes, whatever you say, Doc-tor!

DOCTOR: What do you think of that now, eh? A Viking helmet.

STEVEN: Oh, maybe.

DOCTOR: What do you mean, maybe? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?

DOCTOR: Ruby, Rose. Rose, Ruby.

BOTH: Hi!

DOCTOR: Two different shades of red!

“Give me the loving!”

DOCTOR: Oh, man. Don't you see? It's an anagram. S Triad spells out... TARDIS. The name is TARDIS Technology.

KATE: Well, obviously. Thank you.

IBRAHIM: Even I got that.

RUBY: What is it?

DOCTOR: It's a remembered TARDIS. It's bits and pieces of every TARDIS that ever was, held together by hopes and wishes and luck.

DOCTOR: It's happening over and over again. Every time I landed there. 1999. 1066. 2005. The Earth is dying… so many times.

DOCTOR: Every world that I ever stood upon… all dead. Venus. Telos. Karn. The Ood Sphere. And Skaro.

MEL: The Daleks are dead?

DOCTOR: Everything is dead.

MEL: But there's so many places you haven't been. They must be safe.

DOCTOR: I've travelled so far. Everything caught in that pattern is dying. The whole of Time and Space. I did this.

KIND WOMAN: I think my daughter died, didn't she? And I forgot.

DOCTOR: I think she did. I'm sorry.

RUBY: Yeah, I never understood. What was all that Egyptian stuff?

DOCTOR: Cultural appropriation.

“God… I always thought I was called Ruby because the social workers chose it, or the paramedics, or whatever, but, no, it was… her. My own mother chose it. My name is Ruby.”

DOCTOR: She's happy. She's got a flat. She's got a fella named Mike. She goes to Spain in three weeks. And the point is is that she has had over 7,000 days to come and find you, and she never has.

RUBY: But I've found her.

DOCTOR: With a time machine. Is that fair?

BARISTA: Ruby?

RUBY: That's me. I was named after a road. Ruby Road. You left me by a church… 19 years ago.

LOUISE: Oh, my God.

RUBY: You left me where I was safe. And I just want to say thank you.

LOUISE: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

“Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry at all. Your life… is out there now. I've shown you monsters and planets, and legends… but this… Honey, your adventure is just beginning.”

RUBY: But you could come and see my dad. You don't do that, do you? Will I ever see you again?

DOCTOR: Of course you will. Of course you will.

RUBY: Your own granddaughter. You left her and never went back.

DOCTOR: And that was my mistake. Maybe I'll find her again, one day. But you, Ruby Sunday, I will see again. Because you changed me. I talk about family in a way that I never did before. That's because of you. You have made my life bigger and better. And now, Ruby Sunday… goodbye.

RUBY: I love you.

“And that's how the story of the Church on Ruby Road comes to an end, with a very happy ending for little Ruby Sunday. But life goes on, doesn't it? Ruthlessly. And what happens, you might wonder. Oh, what happens to that mysterious traveller in Time and Space known as the Doctor? I'm sorry to say his story ends in absolute terror. Night, night.”

BILL: Doctor, you okay?

DOCTOR: Bill, I've got no TARDIS, no sonic, about ten minutes of oxygen left, and now I'm blind. Can you imagine how unbearable I'm going to be when I pull this off?

DONNA: You're kidding. You're not telling me the TARDIS has gone.

DOCTOR: Okay.

DONNA: Where is it then?

DOCTOR: You told me not to tell you.

DONNA: Oi. Don't get clever in Latin.

(The TARDIS materialises in the TARDIS-sized gap between a pair of cargo containers. For once, she gets the door on the wrong side. The Doctor can't get out.)

DOCTOR: Ah.

(He turns her ninety degrees while a train whizzes along the track between the open ground and the housing estate.)

DOCTOR: Ah!

“Saturday. Good. Good, I like Saturdays.”

DONNA: I can't understand you. How many words? One. One word. Shake. Milk shake. Milk? Milk? No, not milk? Shake, shake, shake. Cocktail shaker. What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?

DOCTOR: Harvey Wallbanger?

DONNA: Well, I don't know.

DOCTOR: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?

DOCTOR: Setting this to self-destruct, soon as everybody's clear. History says there was an explosion here. Who am I to argue with history?

ROSE: Usually the first in line.

“No shop. I like the little shop.”

MARTHA: Expelliarmus!

DOCTOR: Expelliarmus!

SHAKESPEARE: Expelliarmus!

DOCTOR: Good old JK!

(The Carrionites scream.)

LILITH: The deep darkness! They are consumed!

(The Doctor rides a scooter out of the TARDIS. He's wearing a white crash helmet and shades. He's a Mod, all right.)

DOCTOR: You going my way, doll?

ROSE: Is there any other way to go, daddy-o? Straight from the fridge, man.

DOCTOR: Hey, you speak the lingo.

ROSE: Oh well, me, mum, Cliff Richard movies every Bank Holiday Monday.

(She gets on the pillion and puts on a pink crash helmet.)

DOCTOR: Ah, Cliff. I knew your mother'd be a Cliff fan.

(They ride off down the street.)

“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become songs.”

DOCTOR: Get back in the TARDIS, this is my job!

RIVER: This is my job!

DOCTOR: I've been doing it for longer!

RIVER: And I do it better!

DOCTOR: River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing is worth you!

RIVER: Or you!

JACK: Hey, there.

LYNDA: Hello.

JACK: Captain Jack Harkness.

LYNDA: Lynda Moss.

JACK: Nice to meet you, Lynda Moss.

DOCTOR: Do you mind flirting outside?

JACK: I was just saying hello!

DOCTOR: For you, that's flirting.

LYNDA: I'm not complaining.

“"You can have faith,' insisted the Doctor. 'Just don't use it as an excuse to do evil.'”

(Her gun fires again.)

AMY: I didn't mean to do that.

(So Isaac fires to get everyone's attention.)

ISAAC: Everyone who isn't an American, drop your gun.

CLARA: You can't do this. You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people.

DOCTOR: I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight...

CLARA: Human beings are not otters!

DOCTOR: Exactly. It'll be even easier.

(Amy waddles out.)

DOCTOR: Oh, way-hey! You've swallowed a planet.

AMY: I'm pregnant.

DOCTOR: You're huge.

AMY: Yeah, I'm pregnant.

DOCTOR: Look at you. When worlds collide.

AMY: Doctor, I'm pregnant.

DOCTOR: Oh, look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit, apart from age and size.

AMY: Oh, it's good to see you, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Are you pregnant?

AMY: You look human.

DOCTOR: No, you look Time Lord. We came first.

(Brian produces a trowel and starts digging in the sand.)

RORY: Did you just have that on you?

BRIAN: Of course. What sort of man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

RORY: Dad, I'm thirty one. I don't have a Christmas list any more.

DOCTOR: I do!

AMY: Hey, Paisley. Ever fancied someone you know you shouldn't?

BRACEWELL: What?

AMY: It hurts, doesn't it? But kind of a good hurt.

BRACEWELL: I really shouldn't talk about her.

AMY: Oh. There's a her.

WILF: You said your people could change, like, your whole body.

DOCTOR: I can still die. If I'm killed before regeneration, then I'm dead. Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away, and I'm dead.

WILF: I won't tell her. Best not. Just keep it as our little secret, eh?

DONNA: Yeah.

WILF: And you go with him, that wonderful Doctor. You go and see the stars, and then bring a bit of them back for your old Gramps.

DONNA: Love you.

PALMER: And you are?

CLARA: Ghostbusters.

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor.

PALMER: Doctor what?

DOCTOR: If you like. And this is Clara.

ROSE: What've you been doing? Where've you been?

DOCTOR: Well, among other things, I think just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early. Do you know, they've never even seen a banana before. Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.

(The Doctor turns toward the Clocwork Droids)

Doctor: Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, brilliant. It's you. You're my favourite, you are. You are the best! Do you know why? Because you're so thick. You're Mister Thick Thick Thickity Thick Face from Thicktown, Thickania. And so's your dad.

DOCTOR: It's back on the ship. Rose, take Mickey and Arthur. Get after it. Follow it. Don't approach it, just watch what it does.

ROSE: Arthur?

DOCTOR: Good name for a horse.

ROSE: No, you're not keeping the horse.

DOCTOR: I let you keep Mickey. Now go! Go! Go!

SERVANT: Who the hell are you?!

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour. Ha, ha!

RUBY: So you're the rich kids?

LINDY: Uh, I should hope so.

RUBY: I thought you were like, office drones. But that's why you only work two hours a day. So the rest of the time...

LINDY: We party.

RUBY: (to the Doctor) It's like Love Island: The Planet.

SERVANT: Who the hell are you?

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour.

RORY: And anyway, what else is there? Dying of old age downstairs, never seeing you again? Amy, please. If you love me, then trust me, and push.

AMY: I can't.

RORY: You have to!

AMY: Could you? If it was me, could you do it?

RORY: To save you, I'd do anything.

(Amy gets up on the ledge next to Rory.)

AMY: Prove it.

RORY: No, I can't take you too.

AMY: You said we'd come back to life. Money where your mouth is time.

RORY: Amy, look.

AMY: Shut up. Together, or not at all.

STEVEN: Look, you gave this ship a name just now, what was it?

VICKI: TARDIS, T A R D I S. It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.

STEVEN: IDBI.

VICKI: What? IDBI?

STEVEN: I D B I.

VICKI: Yes?

STEVEN: It means I Don't Believe It.

DOCTOR: I'd have to settle down. Get a house or something. A proper house with, with doors and things. Carpets. Me, living in a house. Now that, that is terrifying.

ROSE: You'd have to get a mortgage.

DOCTOR: No.