“An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?”

“I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them!”

DOCTOR: You look very nice in that dress, Victoria.

VICTORIA: Thank you. Don't you think it's a bit--

DOCTOR: A bit short? Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. Look at Jamie's.

ROMANA: How did you know?

DOCTOR: Oh, knowing's easy. Everyone does that ad nauseam. I just sort of hope.

“Oh, my giddy aunt.”

“Mind over matter. Or more accurately, I have a mind and you don’t matter.”

JAMIE: Well it's simple isn't it? All we've got to do is dig a tunnel through from here to the borehole and catch the seed device thing on it's way down. Well, it was just an idea.

DOCTOR: But Jamie, it's a brilliant idea! It's so simple only you could have thought of it.

JAMIE: Oh. Eh?

JAMIE: Doctor, come on, will ye? The whole place is going to blow up.

DOCTOR: Oh, it's quite all right, Jamie. The planet is quite safe. There's just going to be a localised volcanic eruption. It'll only affect the island.

JAMIE: Maybe so, but we happen to be on the island.

DOCTOR: Oh, my word!

TURLOUGH: Tegan, no!

(The Doctor floats to the surface, face down.)

TEGAN: Doctor!

TURLOUGH: There's nothing we can do.

TEGAN: We can't just leave him.

TURLOUGH: Face it, Tegan. He's drowned.

(The Doctor sinks below the surface again.)

“Blaming the Universe is the only way I can get out of bed in the morning.”

“Well, this is gay!”

DOCTOR: You must've injected me with something on the way in! No, no, no, I'd feel it in my veins, my veins aren't where I feel it.

ADRIC: Feel what, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Pain.

(A metallic clang echoes loudly.)

DOCTOR: Great jumping gobstoppers! What's that?

DOCTOR: Your eyes, man. You suffer from headaches?

PERKINS: No, I don't.

(The Doctor bangs Perkins' head on the desk.)

DOCTOR: No headaches?

PERKINS: Well, er. Ow!

(Another thump.)

DOCTOR: Oh dear. You call me a liar?

PERKINS: Well, no, no, no, no. Me head does ache.

“Victoria, I think this is one of those instances where discretion is the better part of valour. Jamie has an idea. Come along.”

DOCTOR: Goodbye, Jamie.

JAMIE: I won't forget you, you know.

DOCTOR: I won't forget you. Don't go blundering into too much trouble, will you?

JAMIE: Oh, you're a fine one to talk.

TURLOUGH: If ever you had to kill someone, could you do it? Could you?

TEGAN: No. I don't know. If it was important, to save my friend, to defend myself.

TURLOUGH: But cold-bloodedly?

TEGAN: You're weird, Turlough.

DOCTOR: You see, women... they're not exactly my area. Apart from Tegan, and Nyssa. But they were friends, I was responsible for them -- that wasn't the same.

TURLOUGH: Good friends.

DOCTOR: Then there was Sarah-Jane, of course, and Jo. And Romana, both of her. Zoe and Victoria, Dodo and Vicki, and.. Barbara.

TURLOUGH: And Susan?

DOCTOR: Ah, well of course, she was my granddaughter. Sometimes I feel very old.

JAMIE: Have you thought up some clever plan, Doctor?

DOCTOR: Yes, Jamie, I believe I have.

JAMIE: What are you going to do?

DOCTOR: Bung a rock at it.

JAMIE: We're stuck here in this lift now!

DOCTOR: No, no it's the lift that's stuck, not us. Look.

(The Doctor points up at a maintenance hatch on the ceiling)

JAMIE: Hey, where does that lead to?

DOCTOR: Out into the lift shaft, I imagine. Quickly, on me back.

(The Doctor leans down)

JAMIE: You know something?

DOCTOR: Mmhmm?

JAMIE: You're a clever wee chappie.

TURLOUGH: I tried to get back to the TARDIS, and I used that TARDIS tracker you gave me.

DOCTOR: Yes, yes –

TURLOUGH: And it pointed in three directions at once. I assumed it was just faulty.

DOCTOR: I built it myself.

TURLOUGH: Exactly

“I'm essentially a pacifist. Although that does sometimes involve blowing things up.”

DOCTOR: It’s a maternity suite.

TURLOUGH: A maternity suite?

DOCTOR: For babies. They do have babies on your planet, don’t they? I’m not gonna have to explain where they come from?

SECOND DOCTOR: If only I could find my recorder, I could play you a little something to pass the time.

BRIGADIER: We must be thankful for small mercies.

TEGAN: I can't go back there Doctor, you can't let me go back there.

DOCTOR: I won't.

ADRIC: The Doctor can find a way out of this Tegan, you know that, he'll never let any of us down.