You know why you’re listening to this one. She delivers. Jo Martin immediately shows dominance over the audio medium, being the best thing in this throughout, despite Jonathan Carley and Lisa Bowerman giving stiff competition. Martin is so good at being steely, cold and compelling, and when the script calls for actual warmth, she does that well too.

It’s not a bad plot either — about the two most morally dubious Doctors being manipulated into a large scale war against each other, all the while our hero Benny struggles to find who she knows is her best friend buried in the rage, sorrow and immaturity of these hidden incarnations. There’s actual substance in the three’s interaction, which is the thing Once and Future has been missing. Even though these characters have nothing to do with each other, we care about their relationships.

I’ve no clue what the bit about who the villain was, I think it was a reference to another story, but honestly it isn’t relevant to this story’s success.

The Union (if adjusted, extended in some ways and unextended in others) is probably what the anniversary as a whole should have been for Big Finish. The cast they chose for this one is excellent. Paul McGann is the Big Finish Doctor, in a way, and so it makes sense for him to finish this off. Coupling him with the most famous Doctor, Tom Baker, is a smart move. Another smart move is having this story involve the Doctor's family, Susan and River Song. And yet another smart move is having the villain be played by another Doctor Who alumni, Maureen O'Brien, whose performance as the titular Union is the highlight of the release.

The story gets unwieldly though when they try to fit all eleven or twelve or whatever doctors into the narrative. Some of the appearances are quick and irrelevant, and others refuse to go away when they have nothing to do, including, weirdly, Jacob Dudman's Peter Capaldi impression, who takes center stage in a way that is a little embarrassing. I could not tell it was supposed to be Twelve for quite a few minutes.

Anyway, despite all that fandom rubbish, this was nearly good. Some sections are superb. If this was  focused more in the right places, this could have been one of the best anniversary specials. But Once and Future in general is a series of "oh, I wish they did that instead..."

While the four leads of this story have absolutely nothing to do with each other, they're all compelling and interesting characters, and so I was intrigued to see them interact. The story seems positively averse to doing so. Nine, The Unbound Doctor, The Lumiat and Liv don't get much of a chance to bounce off of each other, and their lack of actual interaction is perplexing. They're mostly running away from things, and none of them get any chance to say what they think of events. Speaking of events, the plot is barebones and involves the characters solving riddles and prophecies to open doors in the tomb of the Time Lord Immemorial. It's like a sequence in a video game where you have to open all four doors to complete a level. Once again, I'm just genuinely perplexed as to how this turned out this way. All four of these characters are deep and interesting. They could have done literally anything else here and I'd probably have given it an 8/10. What is happening.

Maybe I had too high expectations because of the endlessly exciting pitch of The Tenth Doctor versus Missy, but this was probably my least favorite episode of the series. Tennant and Gomez are game, as I expected, but the script is just dire. It feels a bit like Destiny of the Daleks, where Tom Baker and Douglas Adams tried desperately to make the dull material entertaining with lots of jokes. These actors are very talented, but the thing about the audio medium is that it's all the more noticeable when the story just isn't grabbing you. I needed some drama, or some atmosphere, and there's just an absence of anything, and that makes the glorious potential of this showdown all the more disappointing.

Two's Company is a lot more ambitious than A Genius for War or Past Lives, actually attempting to tell a bit of a story. Sadly, it's one that just doesn't click for me by any metric. Jackie Tyler and Lady Christina meeting is charming enough, but neither of them have any sort of actual connection with The Sixth Doctor, and none is really forged. The villain is The Two, a member of the Collective Time Lord who appears in other Big Finish releases as The Eleven, the Nine and the Twelve. Suffice to say he isn't as interesting as his counterparts, though I applaud that he is still an evil man regardless of how many personalities are in his head.

I just don't get what they were thinking here.

A Genius For War is one of those in-one-ear-out-the-other tales, concerning The Seventh Doctor knee-deep in the Time War, having received a message that Davros is about to defect. Take a guess whether it's a trick or not. It's not HORRID, but traditional stories need new ideas or character work to make them stand out, and this has neither: It hardly qualifies as a Time War story and does so even less by an "anniversary" metric. Big waste of potential.

The actual best Once and Future audio story doesn't have a good mix of characters (we got this duo last anniversary team up, and their dynamic is exactly the same) but makes up for the lack of innovation with some beautiful themes on the making of art and why we tell stories. This is far from James Goss' best effort, but it's what you would generally want from an anniversary story, emotional work of some actual heft. Enjoy it while it lasts.

One of the least terrible Once and Future audio stories, Past Lives still lacks a central theme or message other than a scant look at nostalgia and a "wouldn't it be fun if..."

The story's chief selling point is The Fourth Doctor meeting New UNIT, and tangling with the Monk. There are other plot threads, including a Warrior Dino Alien Invasion, and the appearance of an immediately post Hand of Fear Sarah Jane, whose presence in the story seems superfluous. Still, this is far from truly horrid, and an enjoyable way to spend an hour.

i beg you. do not get curious about this one.

i'm so f**king biased man