DALEK DIGGER: EXCAVATE!

EMILY BARNFATHER: Who are you Doctor?

DOCTOR: I am me.

DOCTOR: We've gone on holiday by mistake!

SUSAN: Oh, pet. Anything to help. I don't mind. I'll make the tea.

IBRAHIM: Did you make this tea?

SUSAN: I did, yes.

IBRAHIM: Don't make the tea.

FLOOD: And that's how the story of the Church on Ruby Road comes to an end, with a very happy ending for little Ruby Sunday. But life goes on, doesn't it? Ruthlessly. And what happens, you might wonder. Oh, what happens to that mysterious traveller in Time and Space known as the Doctor? I'm sorry to say his story ends in absolute terror. Night, night.

HARRIET: There is the Toymaker, the god of games. There is Trickster, the god of traps. There is Maestro, the god of music. There is Reprobate, the god of spite. There is the Mara, the god of beasts. And the threefold deity of malice and mischief and misery. There are gods of skin and shame and secrets. There is Incensor the god of disaster and her children, called Doubt and Dread. And standing on high is the mother and father and other of them all.

For the god of all gods has returned, and his names are many.

His name has been Set. And Seth. And Sithifer. And his one true name for evermore is... Sutekh!

DOCTOR: Oh, we are not just going to analyse this... Kate, do you have a Time window?

KATE: You expressly told us in the 1970s, UNIT was absolutely forbidden to experiment with any form of time technology.

DOCTOR: Do you have a Time window?

KATE: Ten floors down.

KATE: Ruby, this is a gold security establishment. Even the Prime Minister can't walk into UNIT.

MORRIS: Especially the Prime Minister.

CHERRY: I would love a cup of tea.

FLOOD: Would you, sweetheart? Well, we'd all like a lot of things... that aren't going to happen.

CHERRY: What that supposed to mean?

FLOOD: I'd be very careful, Mrs Sunday. There's a storm coming in. He waits no more.

DOCTOR: That is the Vlinx.

VLINX: Greetings.

DOCTOR: Oh! Nice upgrade!

VLINX: Hot metal, Doctor.

RUBY: Might just be me, (staring into the sleek white cup of dark steaming liquid the TARDIS console had just dispensed for her), but this coffee tastes funny.

DOCTOR: Funny? ‘D’you mean normal funny, or temporally wonky funny? You can tell the difference cos a Temporally Wonky Frappuccino leaves half of you frozen in last Tuesday.

RUBY: Normal funny, I think, I asked for a latte, but it tastes … I don’t know. Bit like … I want to say roast potatoes? Try some?

DOCTOR: Hm. Sunday roast in a cup! Classy! Could check the flavour gauges. But it’s a long climb to the sub-engines; we’d have to find a map, the vortex-sluicers haven’t been cleaned, and I like this jacket.

RUBY: You can just say you like the Sunday-Roast coffee flavour, I won’t mind.

DOCTOR: You got me.

NAOMI: Can that tiger understand you?

DOCTOR: She’s doing her best.

HARRY: And you just met this wild animal… on the street?

DOCTOR: Don’t be ridiculous, Harry! We met in the pub.

DOCTOR: You cad!

DOCTOR: Rogue, I am telling you, you've got the wrong man, okay? And I can prove it. This authenticates me as non-Chuldur.

(Psychic paper.)

ROGUE: It says you're hot.

DOCTOR: Does it? I'm sorr... No, it's broken.

ROGUE: Is it you're hot, or I'm hot?

DOCTOR: No, it is just that it's...

ROGUE: Who's hot, Doctor?

DOCTOR: It means the temperature.

ROGUE: It suits you, flustered. It's a good look. You should try it more often.

DOCTOR: Oh, I see. My name's bond, molecular bond.

ROGUE: Find me.

RUBY: Oh, my Bridgerton! This is my actual dream!

RUBY: So you're the rich kids?

LINDY: Uh, I should hope so.

RUBY: I thought you were like, office drones. But that's why you only work two hours a day. So the rest of the time...

LINDY: We party.

RUBY: (to the Doctor) It's like Love Island: The Planet.

LINDY: Don't be so surprised. I found it. I'm at the conduit. But guess what? I'm with Ricky September.

RUBY: Ah! What, Ricky the singer?

LINDY: That's him.

RUBY: Oh, nice one.

DOCTOR: He's hot.

BOTH: (to each other) Hands off!

RICKY: Lindy, watch out.

(The Dot flies over to her.)

LINDY: His surname is Coombes. He was born Richard Coombes. Cos I know everything about him. He changed his name to Ricky September when he reached 50,000 followers, but check your files. He was born Coombes. C comes before P!

(Ricky stares at her in disbelief.)

DOCTOR: But there is one thing that I should warn you about, Ruby, and this is really very serious. With all of my adventures throughout Time and Space, I have to tell you there is always a twist at the end.

15th DOCTOR: Ah! It's more than that. Our whole lifetime. That Doctor that first met the Toymaker never, ever stopped. Put on trial, exiled, Key to Time, all the devastation of Logopolis.

14th DOCTOR: Adric.

15th DOCTOR: Adric. River Song. All the people we lost. Sarah Jane has gone. Can you believe that for a second?

14th DOCTOR: I loved her.

15th DOCTOR: I loved her. And Rose. But the Time War, Pandorica, Mavic Chen. We fought the Gods of Ragnarok, and we didn't stop for a second… ..to say, what the hell?

14th DOCTOR: But you're fine.

15th DOCTOR: I'm fine because you fixed yourself. We're Time Lords. We're doing rehab out of order.

15th DOCTOR: Look after him, you know? Now, you two, if you don't mind, there is a great big universe out there calling, and I've got to get going. So off you pop, old man.

14th DOCTOR: Oh. You're the old man. You're older than me.

DONNA: Actually, that is true. He's younger because you came after him. So you're the older Doctor.

15th DOCTOR: Okay, kid. I love you. Get out!

14th DOCTOR: And Grandad! Where is he?

SYLVIA: Oh, he's off shooting moles.

DONNA: Oh!

14th DOCTOR: Don't worry, I gave the moles a forcefield. I love the moles.

DONNA: You love the moles?

14th DOCTOR: I love them.