BELINDA: Have you got two hearts?

DOCTOR: Padam, padam.

BELINDA: You mean it's literally the same diploma, like in a time travel way?

DOCTOR: Timey-wimey.

BELINDA: Timey-wimey?

DOCTOR: Yup.

BELINDA: Am I six?

JOY: She died on Christmas Day. On Christmas Day! I said goodbye on an iPad! Because of the rules! She died alone! And those awful people and their wine fridges, and their dancing, and their parties, and I listened to them, and I let my mother die alone! So I can never be home on Christmas Day, and I can never be with anyone on Christmas Day because I let her down. I let her down on the last day of her life, on Christmas Day. I can’t ever change that. I can’t ever change it.

SUSAN: Oh, pet. Anything to help. I don't mind. I'll make the tea.

IBRAHIM: Did you make this tea?

SUSAN: I did, yes.

IBRAHIM: Don't make the tea.

FLOOD: And that's how the story of the Church on Ruby Road comes to an end, with a very happy ending for little Ruby Sunday. But life goes on, doesn't it? Ruthlessly. And what happens, you might wonder. Oh, what happens to that mysterious traveller in Time and Space known as the Doctor? I'm sorry to say his story ends in absolute terror. Night, night.

KATE: But... Okay, the grandchild exists and you've got the TARDIS, but you've never gone back to see her. Why not?

DOCTOR: You've seen my life. I bring disaster, Kate. Disaster. What if I go back and ruin her?

KATE: For what it's worth, I think you bring joy.

KATE: Ruby, this is a gold security establishment. Even the Prime Minister can't walk into UNIT.

MORRIS: Especially the Prime Minister.

CARLA: I just need you to look after Mum. It's only going to be for a couple of hours.

FLOOD: Oh, leave her to me. I nursed my old mum through diabetes and a hip operation. She died of an ulcer. But that was when I wasn't looking.

CHERRY: I would love a cup of tea.

FLOOD: Would you, sweetheart? Well, we'd all like a lot of things... that aren't going to happen.

CHERRY: What that supposed to mean?

FLOOD: I'd be very careful, Mrs Sunday. There's a storm coming in. He waits no more.

DOCTOR: You are a bounty hunter? That is so... cool. Catching monsters, getting into scrapes. Meeting handsome strangers.

DOCTOR: I thought that was non-diegetic.

DOCTOR: But there is one thing that I should warn you about, Ruby, and this is really very serious. With all of my adventures throughout Time and Space, I have to tell you there is always a twist at the end.

TIMOTHY: Henry, get away from him.

MAESTRO: Them.

TIMOTHY: What?

MAESTRO: Me.

TIMOTHY: What?

MAESTRO: I'm them.

TIMOTHY: You're who?

MAESTRO: You're who?

MAESTRO: But she's the only human left with music in her heart! Playing lovesick songs for heartbroken lesbians. And that just makes me hungry for all those delicious songs.

DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, we're on a baby farm. Ha-ha! A parthenogenesis machine. What is it with you and babies?

RUBY: I was going to say the same thing to you.

DOCTOR: We've gone from baby to baby. I'm not saying things are connected, and yet... things connect.

CHERRY: I've given up on that cuppa and opted for a life of abstinence.

THE TOYMAKER: Well, that’s alright, then!

ROSE: You're assuming "he" as a pronoun?

DOCTOR: True. Yes. Sorry. Good point. Are you he or she or they?

MEEP: My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always The Meep.

DOCTOR: Oh. I do that.

DOCTOR: That's what you called us here for? Have you any idea what's going on in outer space in 1916 right now?

KATE: Strangely enough, no.

DOCTOR: You don’t need me telling you your family isn’t always the one you were born in. Usually it is, and that’s great, that’s fantastic, but it’s not always like that, and that’s ok. And if you do find people who love you - hold on tight.

DOCTOR: I'm going to find out what he's up to, and then I'll dazzle you with a beautiful bit of improvisation.

YASMIN: You mean there's no plan.

DOCTOR: Early days.

DOCTOR: Come on, tell me you're impressed.

YASMIN: Oh, you're like a kid sometimes.

DOCTOR: Thanks! What, only sometimes?

SARAH: I'm not just gonna wait for him to get killed. I don't care if he's a weirdo. And he is. He is a weirdo, you know, but he's decent. And he's got a good heart. My friend Lauren actually says that good-hearted weirdos are actually the keepers, so...

(Yaz looks at the Doctor)

DOCTOR: What?

YASMIN: No, nothing.

DAN: She likes you.

DOCTOR: I like her, too.

DAN: No, I mean... she likes you.

DOCTOR: I don't understand what you're saying, Dan.

DAN: I think you do. But for some reason you pretend to me, and to her, that you don't.