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Tags: Funny
DOCTOR: Hello, welcome to my mind! Sorry for the mess.
— The Shadow of the Scourge
DARWIN: I believe in descent through modification!
DOCTOR: Yes, Charles!
DARWIN: I believe in natural selection!
DOCTOR: Yes!
SILURIAN TULOK: It is no good, Doctor. You cannot fight me.
— Bloodtide
DOCTOR: Lay on, Macdalek!
— Eighth Doctor, The Time of the Daleks
DOCTOR: It wouldn’t work as well with say, Elvis.
NYSSA: Who’s Elvis?
DOCTOR: I’ll explain later.
— 1963: Fanfare for the Common Men
TURLOUGH: Could I speak to the Doctor?
LARA: I’m putting you on hold.
beep
LARA: It’s his accomplice. Can you trace him?
JILL: Oh yeah, I’ve got root access to all the data flow in this city. Keep him talking. And you?
DOCTOR: Yes?
JILL: Do not warn him he’s being traced or you can be sure-
DOCTOR: Ah, yeah, you’ll make things very unpleasant for me. Yes, I understand.
LARA: Right, Turlough?
TURLOUGH: Yes, I haven’t gone anywhere.
LARA: I’m putting you on speaker now.
TURLOUGH: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Turlough, hello! They’re trying to trace you!
— Repeat Offender
DOCTOR: I’ve got to do this. Got to end it. Avenge my people. Drax, the Meddling Monk, my old friend Damon from Arc of Infinity. Did Castellan Spandrell die in vain?
— Ninth Doctor, Dalek: Spoof Scenes
KATE: I mean, if thieves invade the Black Archive, it just detonates a nuke. Simple, yet effective.
— Kate Stewart, For the Girl Who Has Everything
BERNICE: I bet they’ve loaded my cats on board.
MASTER: In-flight entertainment and catering! Tiny edible hostages!
— The War Master Part 2
PARS: That’s what Time Lords have always done, Bevvakk. Build a great many doors. Then lock them all, and hidden the keys.
— Unknown Soldiers
DOCTOR: A tale of a woman who knows she’s going to die. But still ventures into the labyrinth, still seeks her greatest adventure. I remember all that time ago, you changed your mind to join us after listening to that piece. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I just wanted to say I am here for you. Whatever bad news may have come your way.
KESSICA: Most considerate, Doctor. You’ll make an old woman cry.
DOCTOR: Then cry. And I’ll cry with you.
— Hooklight 2
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