When Crab Luna started going on about being the perfect lifeform, the crabs wanting everyone to be crab, and fishes that were actually ‘just crabs in disguises, not real fish’, I was expecting crab fascism and transphobia allegories, but this was pretty good as well. Also yay Our Own Voices reference, that’s cute.

THE ELEPHANTS ARE COMING                                                              THIS THEY DO KNOW

AS SUCH IS KNOWN BY THOSE THAT SEE—BUT SEEING IS ΟNLΥ PRIVILEGED TO THOSE WITHOUT EYEš

   A chance 

a CHANCE.                                                                TO WANT

THE GOAL

IT HAS BEEN DONE

IF THE LESS HAS BEEN MEANING

NEHT

YRTEOP SAH TNAEM

EHT EIDT LILW OG SA EHT SINDW EAVH NLOWB DNA YNLO THAT THAW SEMAINR

is hopeless hope.

Ican’t ake these burgers anymore. Free me from this. They have whelmed me over so that only the moon may suck from my spirit.

¶ ⇔) has succeeded > thus fear remain

But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.

                                       Judges 4:21

Well, darling, all the meta reviews have to start with mirroring the story they’re reviewing, don’t they? Adds to the whole drama of the thing. How very unoriginal…

Of course, we know now that it’s a trademark of mine to do strange things with reviews on this site. Or maybe you do not. I will say that I don’t really care either way, to make me come across as cool with a streak of cynicism, like Polly. To be honest, even if the connection to Polly hadn’t been there, I would’ve reacted the same way. Most ‘reviewers’ of this type probably would. Well, except for the cool meta ones that address this fact of course. I would continue going into this spiral of turtles all the way down the fourth wall, but considering it’s the only trick I have up my metaphorical sleeve, like using the word metaphorical at unnecessary intervals, it gets a bit stale after a while. So I’ll have to save it for later.

The thing, you see, is that I’m actually not all that cool and cynical, like Polly. And you can take that sentence both ways. Either that I’m not cool and cynical like Polly, or that Polly, like me, isn’t cool and cynical. And both would be true. You might question how that could be so, or maybe you have figured it out already, and are waiting for me to move on to the explanation, to see if you’re right. So are you?

Er… no.

No, darling. You see, this is a case of interpretation. There is no right. I will soon after this explain how or why, but that’s only how I see it. You might have figured it out differently, not wrongly. Neither did you figure it out rightly, so we can’t all be winners. In fact, no one can, which doesn’t have to mean that everyone does, but in this case it does. Don’t get caught up in those sentences.

Unlike Polly, my reason to act all cool and cynical isn’t because of society. But like Polly, my reason to act all cool and cynical is because of society. It’s the same kind of defense mechanism. Because I’m not all that. But I can act like it, either to fit in more with a perceived group that I see a certain way, or to simply convince myself that it doesn’t matter (you’ve seen an example of that already). That’s not really it I think. It can be, I’m not writing it off entirely, but I haven’t thought about it deeply enough, and frankly, I’m not very interested. I think what I’d rather do, is consider the other reading. What if, like me, Polly isn’t actually all that cool and cynical?

This would firstly require me to have any significant experience with her character, which I don’t have. The only proper Polly story I have done is The Night Witches, and I don’t really remember much about her there. But we can still go off quite a lot from this story alone anyways. Joseph Lidster, who I really love as a writer so far, gives enough clues for context about who Polly used to be. And a whole array of other things.

I’d like to commentate on and analyze this part. About Polly’s life of glamour and glitter, over Hollywood, over surface level, people pleasing and rotting from the inside. It’s not an uncommon trope or theme. But, you see, darling, this scenario here is a very specific one. Not that it isn’t still relevant, because it is, as I have already shown. But this specific version is very based in a time for which I wasn’t there. That doesn’t mean I can’t do all that I’d like to do, but I think it’ll be more truthful and better if I did it by comparing it to something more from my own perspective, to see how it can still relate to someone living in 2025. But I’m not going to do that, because I already did.

FLASH!

And there I was, in 1997. I would’ve been very surprised, if it had actually happened. Luckily it didn’t, so as there was no point to it all, I could act very cool about it, with a streak of cynicism. It was the bloody 90s, can you believe it? I were never there to experience that frenzy, but I already told you that.

It was America, because of course it was. I know you thought of it too. The 90s just aren’t as interesting anywhere else. I could’ve ended up in the 90s on the South Pole, or Australia, but no one thinks of Australia in the 90s. No, it was 90s America, and the sort of 90s America that you see in the movies. It wasn’t real after all, just like those. But just like those, the real America that the fake America was based on was fake too. Made up, not by a set maker, but by, well, make up. It was all quite jarring to be honest. Not a fan.

Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a bookshop. Bookshops are always my favourite. I couldn’t resist taking another stroll among the rows of bookcases, full of writings that people have poured their hearts and their souls into, so many of those looking like so much pure fun to read, knowing full well I would end up having them simply put on another bookcase, looking at me prettily while I were to be acting all cool with a streak of cynicism on social media, and do everything but read them.

You know, if I hadn’t just about spotted in from the corner of my eye, it would never have happened. If I had just decided, after that string of thoughts, to not go, the incident wouldn’t have taken place. Alas, I did go.

One of the many books that I opened, read a few bits and bobs from, and proceeded to immediately forget afterwards, was a- I don’t remember, actually. Though, what I do remember, what I will never forget, is the lines I read in there. After being intrigued by imagery that vaguely resembled a rose to me and opening the book somewhere in the middle, but closer to the beginning than the end, in case the small chance that I were to buy and read the thing occurred and I were to come upon one of the bigger spoilers in the book, my eyes were laid upon the beginning of a chapter. No, it wasn’t a chapter. The reason it looked different was because it had different formatting, to make it more akin to an image. It was a list, it seemed. It also seemed quite pointless, really. Seemingly a list of things one of the characters was looking at at that moment in the story. Many, on the seemingly a list, were seemingly random things. Random foodstuffs, random sentences, and even a Random Joke.

FLASH!

The moment I read those words, I again was transported. I didn’t even have time to say fake 90s America goodbye. I was floating now. Floating through an empty, white vortex. The vortex was swirling violently, but at the same time, seemed to be completely still. There was no movement to detect, everywhere around me where I looked, complete and utter stillness. Except the white void was screaming, and waving, pieces of tex tearing at the vor, I could feel it in my bones, but could not see it with my eyes. Luckily for me, it wasn’t real, so I could make a cool sarcastic comment, with just a hint of cynicism in it. Then God appeared.

‘ask me to recommend you a prose short trip,’ God said. ‘please,’ he added, for emphasis.

I realized then that this wasn’t actually God.

‘hey there please recommend me a prose short trip,’ said another voice, though I couldn’t place from where.

‘That,’ I said. ‘Do that.’

And so it happened.

I didn’t know who, or what this creature was. Though I did immediately stop calling him creature in my head, because it felt quite denigrating. He seemed so powerful, being able to transport me around and about the universe. But, wait, did he even do that? Maybe he did not. Likely he did not. Maybe he wasn’t all that powerful. Maybe it depended on who you asked.

I was about to ask many a question, but before I had the chance, he spoke to me: ‘just for you owen i choose one that i actually really liked.’ And so it came to be. The choice. It had already been chosen, but it hadn’t yet been revealed to mortal me.

And maybe it was a choice all along. I could choose to not be cynical, not a streak. I could choose to be honest, no need to put up barriers of irony. What is free will but the illusion of choice? What is choice but the illusion of free will? What is fate but seeing bookshops out of the corner of your eye? Maybe they are the same thing. As what is fate but the choice of nature? And if I just changed my definition of free will, then maybe I had it. Decisions to make, decisions had been made. To walk in and to open the book had been events, simply, and not more than that. No, that wasn’t the point, the point wasn’t in the specifics, the structures, it wasn’t literal.

FLASH!

I was Home Again, Home Again. For real this time. Had fate brought me to all those places? How exactly it happened was unexplainable, but that was the point. It had seemed Random, but instead it had chosen deliberately.

You see, darling, circumstance had made the choice. But only one reading of that sentence was true. I had decided that I wanted to think that. Not because it was cool with a streak of cynicism, because it certainly wasn’t cool. It was quite embarrassing, really. From the outside it would probably bring more laughs of mockery, and that would feel bad. But the noise of fireworks could be stepped away from. And there’ll be friends. And maybe, just maybe, that was just it. Even if at one moment it might not seem so, you can be happy, like Polly.

So my friend’s recommendation was read, and I sat down to start writing the review. It took a while, but I think I finally got there.

I finally got the point, so I let you decide what it was.

Cute! I can’t really give it a high score, it’s just 6 pages after all, but it’s an excellent bit of slice of life comedy mixed with that “Doctor Who Spark™”. Almost perfectly executed what it wants to I would almost say. To have a bit of extra background on how these two characters interact in between the ‘big’ adventures, it’s really nice. Abadzis writes them in a really natural and cozy feeling way. The story isn’t functioning as filler, but enrichment. It does extra establishing work for Gabby and Ten, and completes the fuller picture of Nick’s vision for the ‘era’. Lovely use of its format.

Carlini’s art is super clean (pun not even intended) and very pleasing on the eye. She makes the TARDIS feel really homey. There’s stuff laying about, things that seemingly have been put there by the Doctor to use later, it feels lived in. Even the dirt floors and cavelike structures with strange alien lighting don’t just feel strange and alien. The lighting is warm and friendly, and the textures make it like you’re in a children’s treehouse. The underground vibes aren’t isolating, but safe. The ship isn’t just made a home narratively, but also visually more than ever.

The TARDIS quirks incorporated into the plot were lovely too, as the entire thing was. Very sweet little comic.

WE’RE FREE! I’M FREE! THE ART IS ACTUALLY READABLE! HURRAY! HUZZAH! sorry. This isn’t about the weeping angels anymore. I know. wont happen again no yes o7

Ah, you know what, let’s start with the art again. Art, not perfect, but SUCH a breeze after last story. I don’t think the balance between cartoony and realistic is struck completely rightly, but that’s a matter of taste. Some panel structuring I thought was unnecessarily overdone and bordering on confusing, but maybe I’m just stupid, so who cares, really. The characters aren’t as fluid or dynamic as I think they could be, but it’s not bad at all, and there’s a real sense of danger and scale conveyed in the panels, especially with the onomatopoeia. Because oh my god, that, that, is so incredibly cool. So amazingly done. The way the sound literally visually overwhelms the reader is masterfully pulled off. Like I genuinely feel noise overstimulation in a comic book. The way it can go from a background element into getting a bit of a noticeable emphasis, to becoming obscuring for the reader, and how that’s used in making us feel trapped with the characters, goshhhh it’s just so brilliant. I love it so much. It’s so awesome, and I really think a concept like this, with such great execution in the visual department is deserving of exploration and experimentation in a larger story with more plot.

Because so far, I don’t think I like Morrison as a comic book writer. Because simply said, this story has almost no plot. There is danger, running to place, problem solved with magic. So you think Okay. Then we’re going to get to see stuff for our characters. Gabby is back home, lets see how the last few (currently two, but knowing Doctor Who writers, in a few years time we’ll have extra adventures slotted in there, hear you me. I hope at least, in my opinion that’d be awesome) trips have been for her and how in retrospect she fee- oh. Oh. Okay never mind then. We’re not doing that. We’re gonna run around and jump on motorbikes and have action set pieces again. Okay we’re going to have alien baddies who just appear and do nothing but be obtrusive for both the Doctor and ME because they’re genuinely just an annoying non-presence in the story. They’re here to be baddies for the sake of being baddies, and on top of that, they’re woefully uninteresting, sorry not sorry. I can see an idea there, but they’re so laughably underdeveloped (they’re LITERALLY in a total of 15 panels! That’s including when they’re unspeaking dots on the page!) that I barely remember that they’re there. They don’t seem to belong. Even visually, they look like they were designed to be as unappealing as possible, the type of beast you would find in a chocolate egg, and would think interesting of for only a few minutes, but also didn’t want to throw away because it was a little green alien, but also, your guardian was right, and you should probably have. These goombas have so little story presence that I’m baffled they even took the time to include them! I don’t know what they do! I don’t know why Morrison thought for even a second that they were more interesting than the flying space sound whales! Who also to be fair, don’t actually have anything to them!

But actually, the worst thing is that I do know! You know what they’re here for? You know why they annoy me so much? Like I said, the aliens are a nuisance, because they’re not the point of the story, the story isn’t about them, they don’t add anything. They’re here to slow down the plot, and get action scenes. That’s it. There’s a paper thin plot, and it’s thickened up by slowing the main characters down with little green men, and purple and pink fish. It’s filler in a 22 page long comic book. And, if you would excuse me my wording, I think that’s completely f**king ridiculous.

And then we get a really dumb ending where the Doctor tries to teach us a life lesson okay thank you for that made up moral now your story has meaning now it’s good im sure wowszie the Doc and Gabs are gonna talk finally oh the end oh that was it yeah.

Nonexistent story with great ideas in there somewhere. No desires seemingly to add anything here, just to fill 22 pages. That’s just a bit of a bummer. Like we could’ve had such cool stuff here! But oh well. We won’t have to encounter Morrison in this run of comics anymore, so hopefully I’ll take more of a liking to the next ones again!

I really like the Thirteenth Doctor and Frida Kahlo’s interactions, they’re pretty much perfect, and reading just them doing stuff is a delight, but the stuff around the ‘villains’ I struggle a little with. There seems a bit of a weird morality in them with how Kappa just gets ‘fixed’ for being curious (and like I know that’s not the message they want to give off, but it is what happens in the story and I can’t help but be a bit nicked by it) and how the Doctor really just lets the Caretans willingly be locked up in a dream world. Like getting them out of what she puts them in here seems like the premise of another Doctor Who story lol. And just like. It’s a bit weird. They just agree, story solved. Though apart from that, I think this is a lovely story!

Hey you know what’s pretty good about this comic? I think what’s pretty cool is how they show what happens after being touched by an angel. It’s like that Johnny Morris book but with a lot of different creative scenario’s, and only some are copy pasted from other stories. I like that. I think it’s cool. 

I also think this is a very impactful story about the horrifying thing that is war. I think that’s very well done. And now I’m going to be mean about the rest of the story. 

For a change, I’ll start talking about the artwork. Because I don’t like it. Not just in a “not my thing kind of not like it”, but in a “genuinely find it distracting kind of not like it”. ESPECIALLY after Casagrande last book, this is total whiplash.

Look like, I get it, I get the war thing. I get that you want to make it look gritty. But the amount of shadows cast on the Doctor’s face every single panel made me burst out in giggles several times just for how ludicrous it is. Like I’m sorry, Indro and Mujiono, but I think it looks really bad. It works alright for me with all the side characters, but the Doctor’s face just feels so out of place. He doesn’t just not look like David Tennant (which I don’t really care about), he doesn’t look like the Doctor to me. He looks like some bloke who stepped out of a 90s superhero comic and was put in Ten’s suit. Because I can handle all your side characters being drawn quite ugly, because it represents that war is ugly, but the Doc? My guy the Doc looking like Frank Castle? Cannot help but laugh.

Generally, all characters look abhorrent, not just in their faces, but an overwhelming amount of panels are incredibly static and convey zero sense of movement, with characters, and especially Gabby, standing about in strange, unnatural poses. Though, this is actually a good thing for one element of the comic; being the weeping angels! They look horrific, unnatural, and static in the best way possible. They’re marvelously, almost ‘beautifully’ drawn. The angels have rarely looked better. Immensely creepy, and the overwhelming detail makes them super unsettling, plus they fit in perfectly with their environments.

That’s another point towards the art too, because all the places look really good. The different timezones, the grey war-torn fields of destruction, all the feelings they want to convey, they do greatly.

Like, the art isn’t technically bad per se, because it’s got a lot of those things right. But it falls into recurring tropes that I really dislike, and find it generally unpleasant to look at.

Right. Now Morrison. I’ve already said the good things, there are good things in this comic book. There are many people who can point out the good things. And I would agree, mostly, there’s some good ideas, lovely ideas even. I just don’t think they’re all executed in a proper way. And I find there’s a lack of care put into the plot, which makes that it doesn’t come together as well as it wants to.

Welp, let’s get some of my pettier complaints out of the way. I don’t like the Tenth Doctor. If you want to, you may take a looksie at my review for Revolutions of Terror, where I talk about this too, but I don’t like Ten. However, I did like how Abadzis wrote Ten. I said that he almost didn’t feel like the Tenth Doctor, more like Fourteen, but I liked that. The friendship he develops with Gabby was sweet as he warmed up to her, and there was a show of him developing emotionally. Big fan of that. This wasn’t here. Morrison characterizes Ten in a way completely inconsistent with the previous two stories, and makes you wonder how Gabby even got into the TARDIS if the Doctor has been acting like this much of a bitch the entire time. And it’s not just the moment where he decides to be a big ol’ bully and vents a rant with his feelings on humanity onto Gabby for no reason at all (which he doesn’t even apologize for, and Gabby takes no issue with for some reason). It’s his attitude of being more important than everyone else that was often a thing in his tv run that irks me. Abadzis seemed to have finally taken the Tenth Doctor in a new direction which showed development, and made the Doctor-Companion dynamic feel equal, which is just thrown out of the window here. Really annoying. I hope there’s still a chance for later issues to continue some kind of character arc for both Gabby and Ten. Really carve out its own era, and have him actually learn something, so it’s less Doctor Who Tv Show Tenth Doctor spinoff comics, and more The Titan Tenth Doctor comic book run, if you get what I mean.

Our other main character, Gabby. Ah. Yes. Loved her previously. She does nothing here. She’s entirely reduced to ‘companion stands around and asks the Doctor questions’ which is made even more insufferable by Ten being, well, Ten, and Gabby’s standing around being drawn like female characters in comic books are drawn way too often. She’s just here to move the plot along at certain points, and have a really contrived love story, yay.

The thing she has with Jamie not McCrimmon really annoys me. It’s not build up well at all, the characters have zero chemistry, like it doesn’t even feel like Morrison is trying to make me believe these two guys like each other naturally. They talk once, then don’t interact at all in the first half of the story, and then Jamie saves her, because of course he does, and then suddenly they’re in love. Robbie even tries to do a bit of teenage romance where they don’t tell each other because they don’t dare, and it borders on caricatural. I’m sure there are going to be people who’ll disagree, but this is just heteronormativity being seen as enough. Boy, girl, find out they’re around the same age, interact for 5 minutes, love at first sight. None of their relationship is naturally created from a situation, none of it is consistent with their characterization, all of it is done to have them kiss at the most dramatic moment Morrison could cook up.

Because that’s my real problem with all this. All the stuff happening just because the writer said so. Everything is so obviously made with the intention to get to ‘the cool scenes’. Why are the Weeping Angels here? Because it’s the perfect place to eat lots of time space stuff! Why are they so aggressive? Because it would look cool in the comic they are hungry and haven’t been able to eat well! Who cares that this doesn’t match up with the internal logic we just established by having the Doctor simply tell the audience! Come on guys, now we’re going to run to our next badass looking set piece!

I think one of the best examples I could give about the lack of plot here is the spoilers. The best I can do is: some of the characters you’re introduced to die/get sent back in time. And maybe I could spoil what happens to them there, which is largely not really significant, but it is what you’ll mostly remember, because the set pieces and melodramatic moments are the only real focus.

There is no actual story present. Outside of the really well done themes surrounding war, there is no greater thematic meaning to what’s happening either. Cynically of me, that’s why I think it’s so popular, because my brain isn’t going to remember the entire story. I just have so much memory, and my blinkus of the thinkus isn’t what it used to be. I’ll just remember the creepy image of someone having sewn their own eyes open so they won’t blink in front of an Angel (brilliant), or the striking images of those Angels, like in the amazing and hugely atmospheric opening sequence. I’ll remember the detailed illustrations, that left a great impact, because they were so striking. I’ll remember the passionate kiss between two characters that happens in the face of death itself, but where they don’t want to face death, but rather each other, where the inevitable end is ignored in favour of the beauty of love and life, while they are being engulfed by an explosion, making their dramatic sacrifice. I won’t remember the story beats. Of course I won’t, they weren’t there. But that doesn’t matter. The important part is what the reader does remember. And cynically of me, I think Robbie Morrison knows that very well. And so who cares if your comic makes no damn sense.

This isn’t even much of a critique on Morrison. It seems he knows really well what he wants and can accomplish it. I just don’t like it. Sometimes it’s as simple as that. But every simple thought has a whole array of complicated, smaller thoughts behind it. And the several smaller thoughts are usually more understandable than ‘I just don’t like it,’ even if it’s as simple as that.

Also the whole thing is derivative asf like wtf do you mean OH I’M soooooo clever hmm aha WINK aha, like stfu. Sorry, comic is good, me just not likey. Okay, like, look, like I like it, I like it enough to give it three stars, there’s that good stuff. I do not regret my time with it. But I also don’t like it. It clashes, like you get the middle, or somewhere like that. Does that, like, make like sense. I’m using subliminal messaging to make you like my review. 

K9 is one of the characters of all time. Most famous for his many television series which moved the character into stardom, with the classic series “K9 and Company” and its revival, often dubbed by fans “NuK9”, being wildly popular with the general public. Though there is a heavily underrated side to this franchise, that is saddeningly not as popular as the main television show.

After rumours from behind the scenes that the beloved K9 and Company would be cancelled, several ideas began to spring up on how to continue the K9 franchise in different ways. Ideas for audio spinoffs, to an American revival were thrown about, but the most reasonable idea ended up being a continuation in the form of a series of novels. Great talents old and brand new would come together to shape an entirely new ‘era’ for the beloved robot dog.

Nowadays, The Adventures of K9 (or the Sparrow New Adventures as they would become known among fans) are mostly famous for being complicated, violent diversions from the K9 television series, and usually written off as not more than that. This is, in my opinion, immensely unfair. I won’t deny that the stories are violent (K9 is described to start a “colossal explosion” which “obliterates Omegon” in the first book alone) and certainly contain high concepts the degree of which weren’t seen in the classic series, but these moments weren’t without merit.

Many a fan these days only knows K9 for watching NuK9. What these people often might not know, is that the basis of NuK9 actually lies in the SNA’s! Take for example the first episode of NuK9, Regeneration, and the first book of the SNA’s. The teleportation, and the idea of K9 as this all powerful being that wouldn’t even blink at the sight of aliens, is first established in And the Time Trap, where we see him fighting against a god-like being like Omegon. Likewise, we see K9 not hesitating at taking the responsibility of sacrifice and choice, in where on television, K9 has to sacrifice his body, his earthly being, so does he sacrifice his ship K-NEL, as much a part of him as anything after maybe even months of being so much together that they practically melted into each other (with this implied to be even more, considering time is said to not be there in the time trap) out of the completely selfless thought to save the mortal lives of the people.

Alas, not many these days are willing to read the books in which many of these concepts originate, and as such will assume such things as that K9’s title as “The Fallen Angel” originates from the new series, while ignoring the existence of, or just disregarding the SNA’s, by calling them ‘non-canon’.

There is a huge treasure of ideas to find in these books, and it’s a shame that many will not read them, even if they are as much ‘proper K9’ as any episode om television. The books might have ups and downs, but when they hit, they really hit, and I truly hope that you will give them a read, or at least a try, after this article. This is an incredibly hypocritical satire by the way, because I’ve not read a single VNA or EDA lmfao

But in And the Time Trap, the hard sci-fi and high concepts of the time trap really hit. The first establishing of Omega (though using an alias here) as K9 his greatest enemy, upgrading him from an enemy of spinoff character Doctor Who to a true part of the Kaynineyverse, which would of course be followed up on in the incredibly successful multimillion K9 movie. The feelings of solitude during K9 his journey are pulled off masterfully, and the humor is biting and excellent. It’s a truly great start of The Adventures of K9, and a really good jumping on point for the SNA’s, though considering I’ve spoiled pretty much the whole thing already for you now, I guess that advice isn’t a great help per se.

Anyways, a great start to the series that is surprisingly poetic as well. It’s a shame to know that many fans will not engage with it, simply because of the medium, even if that medium brings so many opportunities with it. Not to speak of what harm an exaggerated reputation can do.

And on that slightly saddening note, that’ll be it for today. Happy April Fools for me rn because that’s when I’m writing it, and happy April Fools to you too if you’re reading it on April Fools, or just feel like being told happy April Fools. Gosh who even came up with this your shoes are untied business on April first… Thanks to that I’m here writing nonsense about K9.

I can’t believe the Doctor just told us we’re from a separate timeline in which we didn’t land on Mars in 2019… What a bunch of amateurs we must look like compared to the other universes. I’d rather not have been made aware of this at all! Now I’ll have to live in shame of the knowledge that we’re the timeline that’s living in the past. Well, thank you for that, Doctor. What a b*tch.