K9 is one of the characters of all time. Most famous for his many television series which moved the character into stardom, with the classic series “K9 and Company” and its revival, often dubbed by fans “NuK9”, being wildly popular with the general public. Though there is a heavily underrated side to this franchise, that is saddeningly not as popular as the main television show.

After rumours from behind the scenes that the beloved K9 and Company would be cancelled, several ideas began to spring up on how to continue the K9 franchise in different ways. Ideas for audio spinoffs, to an American revival were thrown about, but the most reasonable idea ended up being a continuation in the form of a series of novels. Great talents old and brand new would come together to shape an entirely new ‘era’ for the beloved robot dog.

Nowadays, The Adventures of K9 (or the Sparrow New Adventures as they would become known among fans) are mostly famous for being complicated, violent diversions from the K9 television series, and usually written off as not more than that. This is, in my opinion, immensely unfair. I won’t deny that the stories are violent (K9 is described to start a “colossal explosion” which “obliterates Omegon” in the first book alone) and certainly contain high concepts the degree of which weren’t seen in the classic series, but these moments weren’t without merit.

Many a fan these days only knows K9 for watching NuK9. What these people often might not know, is that the basis of NuK9 actually lies in the SNA’s! Take for example the first episode of NuK9, Regeneration, and the first book of the SNA’s. The teleportation, and the idea of K9 as this all powerful being that wouldn’t even blink at the sight of aliens, is first established in And the Time Trap, where we see him fighting against a god-like being like Omegon. Likewise, we see K9 not hesitating at taking the responsibility of sacrifice and choice, in where on television, K9 has to sacrifice his body, his earthly being, so does he sacrifice his ship K-NEL, as much a part of him as anything after maybe even months of being so much together that they practically melted into each other (with this implied to be even more, considering time is said to not be there in the time trap) out of the completely selfless thought to save the mortal lives of the people.

Alas, not many these days are willing to read the books in which many of these concepts originate, and as such will assume such things as that K9’s title as “The Fallen Angel” originates from the new series, while ignoring the existence of, or just disregarding the SNA’s, by calling them ‘non-canon’.

There is a huge treasure of ideas to find in these books, and it’s a shame that many will not read them, even if they are as much ‘proper K9’ as any episode om television. The books might have ups and downs, but when they hit, they really hit, and I truly hope that you will give them a read, or at least a try, after this article. This is an incredibly hypocritical satire by the way, because I’ve not read a single VNA or EDA lmfao

But in And the Time Trap, the hard sci-fi and high concepts of the time trap really hit. The first establishing of Omega (though using an alias here) as K9 his greatest enemy, upgrading him from an enemy of spinoff character Doctor Who to a true part of the Kaynineyverse, which would of course be followed up on in the incredibly successful multimillion K9 movie. The feelings of solitude during K9 his journey are pulled off masterfully, and the humor is biting and excellent. It’s a truly great start of The Adventures of K9, and a really good jumping on point for the SNA’s, though considering I’ve spoiled pretty much the whole thing already for you now, I guess that advice isn’t a great help per se.

Anyways, a great start to the series that is surprisingly poetic as well. It’s a shame to know that many fans will not engage with it, simply because of the medium, even if that medium brings so many opportunities with it. Not to speak of what harm an exaggerated reputation can do.

And on that slightly saddening note, that’ll be it for today. Happy April Fools for me rn because that’s when I’m writing it, and happy April Fools to you too if you’re reading it on April Fools, or just feel like being told happy April Fools. Gosh who even came up with this your shoes are untied business on April first… Thanks to that I’m here writing nonsense about K9.

I can’t believe the Doctor just told us we’re from a separate timeline in which we didn’t land on Mars in 2019… What a bunch of amateurs we must look like compared to the other universes. I’d rather not have been made aware of this at all! Now I’ll have to live in shame of the knowledge that we’re the timeline that’s living in the past. Well, thank you for that, Doctor. What a b*tch.

I can see a good idea about disregarding nature in favour of consumption here, but the comic is too short to elaborate on anything or even have a reasonably logical plot. It’s just: event happens, so characters does things. That’s it. And the length is partially at fault for that, but I have read many 5 page comics with infinitely more structure than this. I don’t think mister Quinn put much thought or care into it.

Unlike the artist Russ Leach though! Quite some detail in the drawings, and even while they’re pretty stiff, the character designs are great! Varied and with a lot of personality, and they’re staged really well across the panels. And I don’t know if this was a case of writer or artist doing it (though I would guess the latter), but the paneling is really clear and pleasant.

The colours I personally find too bright and contrasting to be nice to look at. But it’s fine overall outside of that preference for me.

In this life we live, we ask many questions. We want to know. Always. Humanity is in a dire, constant need of knowledge. Why? Are we just greedy? Is it an addiction? Why do we have sayings like “curiosity killed the cat” even though we very well know that at every waking moment of our lives we are those very curious cats. Do we want to be killed? Do we want to be scared? Do we like risks? Oh, there I’m doing it. I am the cat.

“What kind of ridiculous intro is that?” I hear you asking. Which you shouldn’t. Questions are dangerous. Knowledge is dangerous.

I would like to be happy. Wouldn’t you? And I was happy. When I was young and unknowing. When there was only the small world of growing up in which everything seemed so big. I didn’t know about war, about discrimination, about murderers and r****ts. I didn’t know about anything! And I was so, so happy. Every day there was something new to learn, always, the smallest things would bring such overflowing joys with them. So curious. Everything seemed possible. Like a worm, for example, that could be cut in two, and then live forth as two beings! What a wonderful thing! The wonders of this world were astounding.

And so one day I was on rollerblades. I did that relatively often, at least compared to now. I crouched down. I saw a worm. It wriggled around on the pavement, leading its worm life. It might have been happy, because it didn’t know what was about to come. Or maybe it didn’t know what happiness was even. There was a creature looming over it, a child. A human. Such monsters those were. Not that the worm knew. It didn’t know anything. So it must have been happy, right? The child didn’t know anything either, until it did. It remembered knowledge. And it savagely started to cut into the flesh of the worm with the wheels on its feet. It cut and cut, like a rough pizza cutter on a jelly finger. Until the pink wriggler wriggled on the pavement no more, but lay. In two pieces. And the child watched. Waited. The worm didn’t know what it was waiting for. The worm didn’t know why the creature committed the horrible, savage act of cruelty. The worm didn’t know anything. Because it was dead. My mum called, and so I stood up, and skated away on the rollerblades, its wheels drenched in the crushed remains of the poor, unknowing, unliving worm. And still, I didn’t know anything.

We know that curiosity kills cats, but have you ever thought of the curiosity that makes the cat kill? The mouse, or the bird that it catches in its claws, curious as to what might happen. With only death as its consequences.

The worm might have very well been on the other side of this conundrum. It is greedy too, it wants to drink. Is that greed? Maybe it’s just survival. But above all, it is curiousity. It’s been above the ground many times when it’s been raining, though now it wants to know how it is when it is not. Why has mother worm told it to only go and dig up the earth above whenever it feels there is water falling from the sky? It needs to know, no- It doesn’t need to know. Not at all. But it wants to. It doesn’t know what good it would do, neither what it will do once it’s there, but still; there could be something good. Maybe there’s actually more water when it’s not raining, and nobody has found out because they never looked! But if there isn’t, it will have been good to see anyways, so that it at least knows that it isn’t there. Maybe it will plant a flag upon the surface once it has reached the destination. Though it doesn’t know why it would do that, because it doesn’t actually know anything.

We could be contend! We could be happy! We could just accept life, and for those of us who live in pretty alright circumstances, we could just be happy. Happiness through acceptance. Does it make life better for you to know that you are just a concoction of molecules that thinks it is alive? No! Then why did you search it up? Why did you want to know? Oh, don’t give me that “for science, for medicine, if we know how we work we can live longer” (imagine that sentence in a whatever you find to be a very annoying tone of voice), no, why do you want to know? Because you’re not gonna cure cancer with that knowledge, you know that as well as everyone. So why do you want to know. I’m talking to you, stupid writer of this idiotic text, because I know that you know that I know that it’s useless for what you specifically want to do. You don’t need that information. Why are you asking a question right now?

Maybe it’s Human Nature™ to want knowledge. It’s our programming. To want. Always just want want want more and more and more until you burst at the seams with things you don’t actually want. Because it is exactly because you don’t know. You don’t know what you want with your meaningless mortal existence. You don’t know anything. So you try to look for an answer. Subconsciously you want to know, know more, look things up, learn more stuff, in the faint hope that the solution to this impossible, empty conundrum that is life will be found, will help you solve the puzzle of everything that exists, before that very thing makes that it’s too late. Or maybe you give up and make up the answer yourself. Knowledge is dangerous. Maybe you don’t want to know.

The worm has decided. It is taking a flag with it, and has a rucksack with things that might come in handy. It doesn’t know how this rainless world might be, so it has to come prepared. It says: “Bye mom, I’ll be back soon!” and before its mother can call “Walter? What in wormheaven’s sake are you doing!” back to it, it has started digging upwards.

Some people don’t know anything. And they are happy for it. They don’t need to know. They believe. For example, they believe that they are right. That they don’t need to think, that looking for knowledge isn’t necessary because they already know everything. They don’t know anything. They are miserable.

Some people don’t know anything. And they are happy for it. They don’t need to know. They ignore. For example, they ignore people who believe that they are right committing atrocities, because the people who believe that they are right don’t like being told that they are not. So when someone who knows that they don’t know anything comes along, it doesn’t fit. Doesn’t work. “If they don’t know anything, they must be stupid, or just don’t know what I know!” But they know. The ones who think they know nothing. They know infinitely more. Until they don’t know anything anymore. Because the cat has snatched at the worm, and it’s killed them both. And only the Daleks remain victorious. That’s what they ignore. That’s easy. So they smile brightly. They’re just happy.

Walter the Worm has gotten to the surface. It’s dry. Walter looks around and about. No water, good to know for sure, that. It is beautiful when it isn’t raining. Walter is glad it came. Walter takes the flag from its bag, and looks for the perfect place to plant it in the ground. One small wriggle for this worm, but a- Then Walter hears a sound. A bone chilling, evil clunking, and is that rolling? Walter looks around and about again. There it is. A curious thing that Walter has never seen before in its worm life. What a wonderful thing! The wonders of this world were astounding. “EXTERMINATE” Said the thing.

Sometimes cats fight. That’s okay. That happens. Sometimes they snatch at worms. Sometimes they are the worms. Don’t ask me how that works. And sometimes they kill a bird. And that’s horribly sad. But cats aren’t evil. Cats are the perfect creatures if you ask me. Don’t you think so too? That for all their mistakes, they are good. Good after all.

Walter dropped his flag, and ran. At least, as far as a worm could. The sun watched, and smiled. Because the sun was happy.

And even though it was scared, and felt awful in many ways, maybe Walter the Worm was happy too.

I don’t think Alan has ever seen an episode of Doctor Who before, but the things he explores here, and the perspective he has on a long living character like the Doctor is just so interesting that I look straight through the horrible mischaracterization here.

It’s so fascinating, because it’s so much a Doctor Who story, but it’s also a story that could impossibly star the actual Doctor. “I should stop adventuring and settle down” (let us ignore the fourteenth Doctor…), and the creatures who just try to live are worse than the Daleks? I already said so, this writer has obviously never seen Doctor Who before. But the concept of the ‘monsters’, the explorations of fear, the twists in the story, the tone and everything, it’s so undeniably incredibly Doctor Who.

This thing has no business being so good, but it is, somehow, even though it gets so much wrong. An almost indescribable wonder of a story.

I’m so sorry

Terry Nation really was in his humanity sucks mood huh.

It might start off as just an alright adventure, but that adventure slowly starts to get more and more nihilistic, with the chances of the mission succeeding seeming smaller by the page, making you wonder how it’s going to end. And once you realize where it’s going, stroke of genius. Foreshadowed incredibly well too. It’s a very simple and obvious idea, but the beginning of the story is just so unsuspecting and the revelation, exactly because it is so simple and bleak, make that it still hits.

A bunch of surprise bangers honestly, these Radio Times thingsies.

Our second episode is called ‘Consequences’. So clever to put Consequences in the middle!

Disclaimer: This is the last in a series of reviews. If you want the full EPIC experience, you should probably go to the next story in this set. The one about skulls and the first doctor. Yeah that one. Read my words from there on, and continue to the next one to see me progress into insanity. Once you’ve gotten to the last one with the Twelfth Doctor and Daleks, come back here. Okay? Okay. You’ve done that? Then let’s begin.

So, imagine you’re me, or anyone who’s been reading this. Maybe that’s you, maybe you’ve been reading this, imagine you’re you. You’ve gone through whatever that was supposed to be. But there did seem to be at least a thematic running thread. Each short mini ‘story’ was about a part of the Doctor’s character. 1st was about seeing the good in things, 2nd was about… Oh, there falls your theory in the water already. But it at least felt like that must’ve been it. That each short thingything had something to say. And now, in the end, the Doctor realizes all of this, and she declares to herself in her head, that indeed, she is the Doctor, she was kind and cruel and cowardly and now she’s who she is or something cheesy like that. It’ll be stupid probably, considering what has come before, but you can at least see how this will turn out, even if it’s a bit simple and easy, but like, you know, it will have been a fun ride. All those little things, together they have at least made for an… enjoyable. experience, yes! In the end it has. When the frame story thematically ties them all together, it will at least have felt worth it. And then it doesn’t do that.

Look in the end I will still give this release in it’s entirety probably a 3,5/5, because it had enjoyable parts to it, and the sum of it all makes of it, and that there were multiple positives, and it’s been good. Sort of. Kind of. Technically. Maybe. But this is not a competent release. This is barely anything at all. A frame story that is just a repeat of scenes on tv, isn’t even really a story at all, and it’s framing for ‘stories’ in quotation marks. If you ask me, this isn’t a comic book, and should not actually make it as the sort of release that it is. You could put these short stories in other publications as little extra harmless treats, and then, for the fans of those stories, have this omnibus, so they can have it together. But as a standalone product it doesn’t work. If you’d theoretically ask me.

I’m honestly still just really confused by it. I’ve been writing for almost three hours straight now, and I’m still mostly just confused. Like after all that time writing about it, I don’t feel much different or any less confused than from when I finished reading the thing a few minutes before writing that first review. I don’t know how the American comics climate is (except that it’s bad) but this is such complete nonsense. It feels like such a misleading marketing ploy too. The Thirteenth Doctor that everybody is so excited about is here! Put her on the cover! Put her in the title! And it’s not about her. Everything about it reeks not so nice practices to me. Oh well. I don’t dislike this release, because I’ve found things to appreciate in it, but I also don’t like it, for reasons you can probably understand.

I don’t know how to end this review, and I want to, because it’s becoming a lot, is already a lot, so imagine the tardis crashing and me falling out of it or something. Wee.

The longest story yet, wowzers. Six whole pages! That is pretty cray cray for realz. The absolutely HUMONGOUS page count allows for a lot of meandering. It just takes too long guys, every sentence I was feeling my brain getting distracted by simulating subway servers gameplay and family guy clips. It’s just too long! I’m not reading six whole pages, what, I read Doctor Who for fun not for a school assignment! Philips or whatever his name was, is obviously stretching the page count here so he will get paid more, and so Titan can charge more for the amount of pages. Well! Too bad that is for them, because I actually pirated it anyways. Never let the corporations stop your consumerism guys! Because that’s what they want! Anywaysagain, I’m gonna continue watching Doctor Who via youtube shorts.

If it somehow wasn’t clear yet, I didn’t actually pirate this comic. I got it from humble bundle. Please let my satire stay on this site lol.

Because that’s what this series has boiled down to in the end. They’ve all been mindless short bursts of entertainment packaged in a larger more expensive package. It’s like a 1 hour YouTube compilation of 30 second TikToks. Except with a lot more care and love put into it. Which is of course reflected by the price tag.

The extra pages help the side characters of the little kids get a little bits more exposure, and that’s it. The climax to this story is just something that’s just like that because our writer has decided that that’s the answer. I could repeat the same things again. I’ve gotten a bit tired. I don’t know anymore what to say. Let me do my last yap about art and stuff and then it’s time to move on to the framing device.

Art is okay and so is the colour. Nothing wrong with it. Perfectly fine. There are good things, and also bad things. Low points and high points. The bad parts I didn’t like, and the good parts I did like, because they were either not that good or not that bad. The end.