Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“Inertia: Boredom, Banter, and a Countdown to Chaos”

Inertia takes a unique approach, focusing on the quiet monotony of Benny and the Unbound Doctor’s attempts to hide from the Time Lords on a remote, undeveloped planet. The story’s structure mirrors their stagnant existence, chronicling their lives day by day as they try—and fail—to keep a low profile. The plot is deceptively simple, relying heavily on the chemistry and performances of Lisa Bowerman and David Warner to sustain interest.

The heart of the audio lies in how the two leads handle their self-imposed exile. The Doctor distracts himself with solitary games and musings, while Benny’s restless nature drives her to explore the planet. Their interactions, laced with wit and a hint of exasperation, provide much of the story's charm. However, the banter occasionally feels like a retread of familiar territory, with little fresh insight into their dynamic.

A significant subplot involves Benny and the Doctor attempting to communicate with the local tribe. These scenes are a highlight, showcasing the slow, methodical process of understanding an alien culture and language. The mystery surrounding the fate of previous survey teams adds a layer of intrigue, though it unfolds at a leisurely pace. The story raises thoughtful questions about the ethics of scientific research and the potential pitfalls of cultural interference, giving it thematic depth.

The slow burn leads to a predictable but effective twist, as the locals reveal they’ve been counting down to Benny and the Doctor’s demise. The final act ramps up the tension as the duo faces both the wrath of the tribe and the peril of a stormy sea. The climax echoes The War Games, with the Doctor reluctantly summoning the Time Lords for rescue, setting the stage for the concluding chapter of the saga.

📝Verdict: 7.80/10

Inertia is a character-driven story that trades action for introspection and cultural exploration. While the deliberate pacing may test some listeners' patience, Bowerman and Warner's performances elevate the material, and the thematic questions add substance. The predictable plot and flat structure hold it back from greatness, but the intense finale ensures it ends on a high note. A reflective, if uneven, entry in the Bernice Summerfield audio adventures.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“Day One: A Sex Gas Alien and Gwen’s First Big Test’

With the groundwork for Torchwood laid in the pilot episode, Day One gives the team their first mission: hunting a sex gas alien. While the mature themes align with Torchwood's aim of exploring darker, more adult sci-fi, the concept is so over-the-top that it borders on parody. The idea of an alien that feeds on orgasmic energy and turns its partners into dust is more bizarre than compelling, and the awkwardly executed sex scenes only add to the absurdity.

Despite the strange premise, the episode is a showcase for Gwen’s evolution within the team. Still adjusting to Torchwood’s unconventional world, she begins to find her footing, balancing her natural empathy with a growing understanding of her new role. The charming, slightly flirtatious rapport between Gwen and Jack remains a highlight, while Owen’s cynical humour and Tosh’s technical brilliance provide contrast. However, Ianto remains underutilised, still relegated to the background.

The midsection, which focuses on the team discussing the alien and Torchwood’s moral ambiguities, serves as a chance to flesh out the characters. Gwen’s guilt over accidentally releasing the alien adds emotional depth, but the slower pace saps some of the episode’s energy. The ethical questions raised about Torchwood’s methods are intriguing but feel underexplored in favour of the main plot.

The alien’s motivation—feeding on orgasmic energy rather than seeking domination—offers a refreshing twist on typical alien invasions. The revelation that excessive feeding could cause the host body to explode adds a tragic layer to the creature’s predicament. However, the execution often leans too heavily into humour, diluting the potential emotional impact.

The episode regains momentum in the final act, with Gwen stepping up to save the day. Her heartfelt plea to the alien shows her growing confidence and her ability to lead with compassion, making her victory feel earned.

📝Verdict: 6.86/10

Day One highlights Torchwood’s willingness to push boundaries, but its outlandish premise and uneven pacing undermine its potential. While the episode offers strong character moments and a unique alien threat, it struggles to balance its mature themes with a coherent tone. Still, it’s an important step in Gwen’s journey and a memorable, if polarising, entry in the series.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage: A Fictional Playground with Frustrating Gaps”

Derek Landy’s The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage starts with an intriguing premise: the Tenth Doctor and Martha Jones find themselves on a planet shaped by the fictional stories its visitors have experienced. The idea of a world mirroring childhood tales or made to look like a perfect copy of reality, much like The Land of Fiction or The Android Invasion, holds great potential. However, the story struggles to capitalise on its unique setting, leaving much of it unexplored.

The initial mystery—centered around a haunted cottage, strange lights, and smugglers—is abandoned midway through the story, giving way to a chase through various fictional landscapes. While this second half offers entertaining moments, with nods to Harry Potter, The Shining, Dracula, and more, the lack of a cohesive plot undermines the narrative. It feels more like a collection of references than a well-structured adventure.

Both the Doctor and Martha are written in an overly simplistic manner, reduced to surface-level traits and catchphrases. The depth and nuance that define their dynamic on-screen are sorely lacking. Similarly, the supporting characters’ conversations are repetitive, adding little to the plot and making the dialogue feel circular.

The alien antagonist, while conceptually interesting, is underdeveloped, leaving its motivations and backstory vague. Its creations, the Un-Men, are a fun concept but barely utilised, appearing only briefly and without much impact.

The story’s resolution, involving the Doctor trapping the alien inside the TARDIS to overwhelm it with infinite imagination, is clever in theory but lacks the build-up necessary for a satisfying conclusion.

📝Verdict: 4.82/10

While the concept of a world shaped by fiction offers a playground for creativity, The Mystery of the Haunted Cottage squanders much of its potential. The references to literary classics and childhood favourites provide fleeting fun, but the lack of depth in plot, characterisation, and worldbuilding makes this story feel more like a missed opportunity than a memorable adventure.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“The Highest Science: Turtles, Trains, and Trouble on Sakkrat”

Gareth Roberts' The Highest Science is a captivating entry in the Virgin New Adventures range, blending humour, intrigue, and a menagerie of characters and storylines. At its core, the novel introduces the Chelonians, warlike, human-hating reptiles, as they obliterate a human colony—only to vanish in a mysterious flash of blue light. From this gripping opening, Roberts crafts a multifaceted tale featuring stranded hippie musicians, a centuries-long space voyage, a vanished 1990s London train, and the enigmatic planet Sakkrat, home to the mythical "Highest Science."

The Seventh Doctor is at his manipulative best here, delightfully preoccupied with gadgets, outsmarting enemies with wit and guile, and maintaining control over a chaotic situation. Benny’s sharp wit, curiosity, and penchant for trouble make her an excellent foil for the Doctor. Her encounters with the hippie musicians are less engaging but provide a vehicle for the novel’s clear stance against drugs and their destructive effects.

Sheldukher, an unhinged and sadistic intergalactic criminal, is the novel’s standout antagonist, fully living up to his reputation as a man who delights in pain and chaos. His threats are never idle, and his brutality adds real stakes to the story.

The Chelonians, meanwhile, are a triumph of alien world-building. Far more than turtle-like warriors, they have a richly detailed culture, biology, and internal conflicts that make them compelling. Commander Fakrid and his successor Jinxa exemplify the Chelonians’ militaristic ethos, with Jinxa’s leadership descending into dangerous fanaticism.

Roberts weaves the various storylines together effectively, though the initial jumping between perspectives can feel disjointed. The train passengers from 1990s London, while tied to a clever twist, ultimately add little to the narrative and could have been omitted. The climactic revelations about Sakkrat’s ghostly inhabitants as deus ex machina figures detract from the tension, undermining the story’s stakes.

The Doctor’s tense escape from Sheldukher’s self-destructing ship is a standout sequence that would translate brilliantly to television. The eerie, ruined city of Sakkrat also delivers an unsettling atmosphere, even if its mystical elements feel underutilised.

📝Verdict: 8/10

The Highest Science is at its best when focused on the Chelonians and Sheldukher, who bring excitement and depth to the story. While some subplots feel underdeveloped and the ending slightly rushed, Roberts’ witty prose and engaging characterisation of the Doctor and Benny make this a memorable read. The novel balances classic Who tropes with fresh ideas, making it a standout in the Virgin New Adventures series.

Random Observations:

• The final sequence inside the city is a bit like the similar trek through traps and dangers the Doctor undertakes in Pyramids of Mars or Death to the Daleks.
• Gareth Roberts co-wrote the 2009 TV story Planet of the Dead, which draws inspiration from this story. The Chelonians were originally going to appear in that story.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“The Undying Truth: Immortality, Capitalism, and Creepy Bogs”

The Undying Truth plunges Bernice Summerfield and the Unbound Doctor into a haunting adventure centred on a mythical immortal creature known as the Undying. When a scientific team uncovers the creature's body, tensions flare as the team members clash over their discovery, while corporate greed, embodied by the relentless Euphemia, looms ominously in the background. The story weaves a pointed critique of unchecked capitalism, highlighting the dangers of profit-driven ventures that ignore ethical and existential risks.

The boggy setting, brought to life through superb sound design, effectively establishes a creepy, foreboding atmosphere. It’s unfortunate, however, that much of the narrative shifts to interior spaceship scenes, which lose some of the eerie charm. Still, the taunting, mind-manipulating Undying proves a chilling villain, infecting characters and turning them into threats themselves.

Lisa Bowerman and David Warner deliver strong performances, with excellent support from Lois Chimimba and Rosie Day. The Doctor’s sidelining for much of the action creates an interesting dynamic, forcing him to contribute indirectly. While the story builds tension effectively, the climax feels underwhelming, lacking the intense payoff the setup promised.

The tale concludes intriguingly, with the Time Lords intervening to capture Benny and the Unbound Doctor, echoing The War Games.

📝Verdict: 8/10

The Undying Truth is a story that, while flawed, offers a mix of atmosphere, thematic depth, and character drama.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“The Fourth Wall: Breaking Comics and the Fourth Wall”

The Fourth Wall takes bold creative risks, showcasing Titan Comics’ knack for experimenting with storytelling. This meta-adventure sees the Twelfth Doctor breaking the fourth wall to address readers directly, while the plot revolves around people being pulled into comic book pages—a concept eerily mirrored in the recent Season 2 teaser trailer, where a comic book character escapes into the real world. The premise feels reminiscent of The Idiot's Lantern, with Mark Gatiss’s Wire snatching people into televisions, but with a unique comic book twist.

A highlight is the playful commentary at the comic book store, where the Doctor critiques the male dominance of comics, and Clara cheekily points out he’s never regenerated into a woman. The parodies of iconic superheroes—Steel Man, Spidey-Guy—add a layer of humour. The Doctor discovering a comic featuring himself nods to the superhero-inspired The Return of Doctor Mysterio.

The return of the Boneless from Flatline as the antagonists is a perfect fit for the comic-centric story. These two-dimensional beings use comics to draw people into their universe, making them a clever and sinister choice for this medium.

While the adventure is fun and fast-paced, it prioritises action over depth. Characterisation and worldbuilding take a back seat, and the story rushes to a conclusion that feels abrupt and slightly unsatisfying.

📝Verdict: 9/10

The Fourth Wall is a visually engaging and innovative tale, but its pacing issues and lack of narrative weight leave it feeling like a missed opportunity.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“Robo Rampage: Osgood, the K1, and UNIT Chaos”

Robo Rampage delivers a short but entertaining romp, pairing the Twelfth Doctor with Osgood (or possibly her Zygon duplicate—it's delightfully ambiguous) as a temporary companion. The plot revolves around the return of the towering K1 robot from Robot, summoned back into action by UNIT’s overconfidence in controlling alien tech—a cheeky nod to their recurring hubris. Naturally, things go disastrously wrong.

Osgood shines as a brilliantly written Doctor super-fan, her dynamic with Twelve blending humour and admiration. The comic captures her character perfectly, making her a standout element of the story.

📝Verdict: 8/10

As a Free Comic Book Day offering, Robo Rampage is light, fast-paced, and enjoyable, proving that even short adventures can leave a lasting impression.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

“The School of Death: Clara Goes Undercover, Swordfish in Tow”

The School of Death drops Clara Oswald into the exclusive Ravenscaur Institute, where she goes undercover as a teacher to investigate the disappearance of her friend Christel Dean (likely a nod to real-life Doctor Who fan Christel Dee). The remote boarding school setting is a tried-and-true classic for Doctor Who, and it’s used effectively here. While the comic hints at the privileged atmosphere among students and staff, it doesn’t delve deeply into these dynamics.

The Doctor’s role initially takes a back seat, with Twelve posing as a seafarer (and hilariously failing at it) to gather intel at the local pub, mostly annoying the locals. True to his Series 9 characterisation, the Doctor’s lack of social tact and compassion is on full display, making for some delightful moments. A standout detail is the Doctor’s new "companion," a stuffed swordfish named Sonny, whom he carries everywhere, reminiscent of Eleven’s Handles.

The supporting cast is a mixed bag. Mr. Beck, a blustering teacher with an inflated sense of his military prowess, is as irritating as intended, while the headmistress is a classic authoritarian foil. The two students aiding Clara initially come across as spoiled but soften as the story progresses and the truth unravels.

The alien threat is revealed as a race of fish-like aliens posing as humans, culminating in the Sea Devils’ dramatic reappearance in issue 2. Redesigned to be more menacing, these Sea Devils stand out as the story’s most striking element, with a sinister edge that feels fresh while still paying homage to their classic roots.

The comic boasts some of Titan’s best artwork, with detailed, lifelike designs, vibrant colours, and dynamic splash pages. The action sequences in the latter half lean into the New Who style, adding energy and spectacle. However, the inclusion of UNIT, with Kate Stewart and Osgood, feels shoehorned, as they serve little purpose beyond fan service. Similarly, the UK Prime Minister (predictably revealed as an alien and named Claremont) is a thinly veiled homage to X-Men writer Chris Claremont, likely a nod to the story’s boarding school setting.

While the setting and character interplay evoke a Classic Who vibe, the rushed and messy final issue lets the story down. Clara’s deus ex machina role in resolving the conflict feels overly familiar and underwhelming.

📝Verdict: 9/10

Ultimately, The School of Death is a visually stunning and occasionally witty story that struggles with pacing and originality but still manages to entertain.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“The Price of Paradise: A Paradise Planet with Potential, but No Spark”

Colin Brake’s The Price of Paradise offers all the ingredients for a classic Doctor Who adventure: a paradise planet disrupted by monsters, a clash between natives and human explorers, and the Doctor stuck between two worlds, trying to save the day. Unfortunately, while the premise is sound, the execution leaves much to be desired.

The story revolves around the Laylorans, including a wise shaman and the young Kendel, alongside the spaceship Humphrey Bogart, led by Captain Petra Shulough and her small crew. The abridged audiobook, read by Shaun Dingwall (Pete Tyler in the TV series), takes its time introducing the extended cast before Ten and Rose enter the fray. Rose befriends a local while the Doctor ends up imprisoned by the human visitors, with both gradually unravelling the planet's mystery.

While the setup is promising, the characters and setting fail to truly come alive. The indigenous Laylorans are portrayed with familiar tropes—shamans, rituals, and a reverence for nature—making them feel more like generic stand-ins than a unique culture. There’s some amusement in Rose’s interactions with the locals, who struggle with human customs, but it’s not enough to lift the story.

The pacing also suffers, particularly in the first half, which drags as it sets the stage. The second half picks up slightly, but the sluggish narrative prevents it from gaining real momentum.

Brake does, however, introduce an intriguing idea: the entire planet as a sentient being, allergic to humans and fighting back through monsters and possessions. It’s a fascinating concept that sadly remains underexplored in the broader context of the story.

📝Verdict: 5.79/10

Ultimately, The Price of Paradise has flashes of creativity but fails to sustain interest, leaving it a middling entry in the New Series Adventures.

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

"Omega: A Tale of Time Lords and Betrayal”

The Fifth Doctor encounters the legendary Omega once more in this audio drama, the first in a trilogy of villain-centric stories. Set against the backdrop of a peculiar historical tour, the narrative explores how fictional reenactments blur into reality as Omega manipulates events to facilitate his return. His earlier, ambitious scientist self takes centre stage, offering fresh insights into his tragic fall from grace.

The plot’s strength lies in its character dynamics. The relationship between Omega and the Doctor is richly layered, with parallels drawn between their shared Time Lord heritage and contrasting moral choices. This nuanced exploration of the Doctor’s darker tendencies is rare for pre-Time War incarnations, making it a standout element.

Professor Ertikus, a delightful addition to the cast, provides both comic relief and intellectual sparring for the Doctor. His enthusiasm for uncovering Omega’s truth mirrors the eagerness of my favourite, Chronotis from Shada, and adds a touch of whimsy to the story. His untimely demise at Omega’s hands in Part 3 is a poignant moment, further raising the stakes.

Ian Collier reprises his role as Omega from Arc of Infinity, delivering a performance brimming with menace and pathos. While he doesn’t match Stephen Thorne’s operatic intensity, Collier’s portrayal brings a quieter, more introspective menace to the character, making his desperation and manipulation deeply compelling.

The story shines brightest in its final act, where a clever twist reveals Omega’s use of the Doctor’s biological imprint to frame him for murders. This revelation reframes the entire narrative, injecting tension and urgency as the real Doctor only steps into the spotlight in Part 4. However, the climactic stretch, though impactful, feels overly drawn out at 40 minutes.

Omega’s supposed marriage to Sentia offers a darkly humorous subplot, though its absurdity recalls the twisted dynamic of the Master and Lucy Saxon in The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords. The closing moments, featuring an agent of the Celestial Preservation Agency, add a surreal but intriguing coda, hinting at the Doctor’s enduring legacy among the Time Lords.

📝Verdict: 7.69/10

Big Finish celebrates 40 years of Doctor Who with a tale of twisted history, dark reflections, and a renegade Time Lord's desperate bid for freedom.

Omega is a slow-burn exploration of the titular villain’s psyche, balanced by strong character interactions and a late-game twist that revitalises the plot. While the pacing sags in parts, its introspective tone and compelling performances make it a worthy addition to Big Finish’s celebratory releases. 

Random Observations:

• It's weird how the Doctor claims he is pushing 900 years of age here, which would mean he’s barely aged between his fifth and his ninth incarnations.