DOCTOR: I mean, basically the code came from nowhere, but then so did the universe, and no-one complains about that.

DOCTOR: We've gone on holiday by mistake!

DOCTOR: You know Tegan, sometimes I wonder how well I'd get along without you.

TEGAN: Thank you.

DOCTOR: Probably quite alright, all things considered. Now, a fresh cup of tea would be terribly useful.

TEGAN: Yeah? Well, you know where the kitchen is.

SUSAN: Oh, pet. Anything to help. I don't mind. I'll make the tea.

IBRAHIM: Did you make this tea?

SUSAN: I did, yes.

IBRAHIM: Don't make the tea.

DOCTOR: Oh, we are not just going to analyse this... Kate, do you have a Time window?

KATE: You expressly told us in the 1970s, UNIT was absolutely forbidden to experiment with any form of time technology.

DOCTOR: Do you have a Time window?

KATE: Ten floors down.

KATE: Ruby, this is a gold security establishment. Even the Prime Minister can't walk into UNIT.

MORRIS: Especially the Prime Minister.

NAOMI: Can that tiger understand you?

DOCTOR: She’s doing her best.

HARRY: And you just met this wild animal… on the street?

DOCTOR: Don’t be ridiculous, Harry! We met in the pub.

DOCTOR: Oh, I see. My name's bond, molecular bond.

CYBERLEADER: You are not from this world. You are a Timelord.

DOCTOR: Oh, is that why my body keeps changing? I just thought it was vindictive puberty.

The Doctor: Jelly babies...

The Barber-Surgeon: What?

The Doctor: I said, jelly babies.

TENTH DOCTOR: Right, here’s the pipe. I’ll go first. Estra, after me, then Padilla. Curly, you bring down the rear.

SIXTH DOCTOR: Curly?

TENTH DOCTOR: It feels daft calling you Doctor.

SIXTH DOCTOR: Well, I am the Doctor.

TENTH DOCTOR: You can give me a nickname if you want.

SIXTH DOCTOR: I don’t.

TENTH DOCTOR: Someone called me pretty boy once.

SIXTH DOCTOR: What? I am not calling you that. I’d rather hoped for a… for a dignified old age.

DOCTOR: Isn't it obvious? The results of your meddling. Oh, do you never learn!?

NUN: Well, not really, no.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Know and time-travelling murderers with a passion for the convoluted?

TWELFTH DOCTOR: About two off the top of my head. But I’ve locked one in my basement and we’ve married the other.

KANE: You can't build an ionic membrane from scratch.

DOCTOR: If I had crayons and half a can of Spam, I could build you from scratch.

STRAX: This is Commander Strax at Kitchen Sink Base to Robot Reconnaissance Crab Leader. Do you read? Over.

ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: We read you. Over.

STRAX: How goes your mission? Have you identified the source of the blockage? Over.

ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: We have encountered low-level calcification and metal fatigue in the pipe system. Additional blockage due to wax, hard fat, and other lipid deposits. We have replaced all affected areas with tinclavic alloy and re-engineered flow. Over.

STRAX: Excellent work! Are domestic hydraulic systems back online? Over.

ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: Testing... Report status. Over.

(Strax opens the tap and a steady stream of water comes out, disappearing down the drain)

STRAX: Test successful! Make safe and return to base. Mission completed. Over.

ROBOT RECONNAISSANCE CRAB LEADER: Copy. Returning to base. Mis----------

(The robot reconnaissance crab leader's words cut out and static fills the channel)

STRAX: Crab leader? Crab leader?? Can you read me? Over.

(More static fills the channel)

STRAX: Robot crab platoon, can you hear me??

(A loud noise gushing noise is heard, before the signal goes dead)

STRAX: No! My crabs!

BRUCE MASTER: Whatever, you’re here now, we need your help.

MISSY: Well howdy, stud. I’d forgotten about you. Goodness! How did I ever get anything done when I had a face like that? Haha sorry.

BRUCE MASTER: Excuse me?

MISSY: Oh, why bother with evil plans, I should have just stood around looking at myself in a mirror all day.

WAR MASTER: Moving on…

MISSY: Although to be fair, I do that now anyway. I am gorgeous

HELEN: Does that mean the woman that captured me was working for them? For the Masters?

DOCTOR: Could be, maybe The Rani? He partnered with her once.

LIV: The Rani?

DOCTOR: Another old school friend of mine. Also evil.

LIV: What were they teaching you at your school?

DOCTOR: Did you see their arms, K9? Like Swiss Army knives. If they don’t have cutting equipment in there, I’m a monkey’s uncle.

K9: Query. How would their precise equipment array cause you to be related to a primate?

DOCTOR: I don’t know, marriage, maybe.

MISSY: Spoilers!

RIVER: Oh I get the feeling you’ve always wanted to say that.

DOCTOR: I never make the same mistake twice. Unless it’s for effect.

JENNY: You don't even get weekends off? Ugh! We really do need to make some changes. See, Noah? This is why the Vortex dumped us here. It's like the Universe KNOWS that Sundays are for lying in bed. Now THAT'S something worth starting a revolution over.

JENNY (to the Dragon-Lord): You've got some SERIOUS unresolved mommy issues, pal. Or. is it daddy issues?

There had been an ugly period when they [the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors] discovered a VHS tape of the movie Daleks: Invasion Earth and had insisted on watching it. They nearly derailed the negotiations by shouting, cheering, and joining in, and they had spent the next hour calling each other Dr. Who and talking like Peter Cushing.

DOCTOR: Blaming the Universe is the only way I can get out of bed in the morning.