“You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”

“Because every time you see them happy you remember how sad they’re going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point in them being happy if they’re going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.”

“Never be cruel. Never be cowardly. Hate is always foolish. Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.”

DOCTOR: Who's she?

SARDICK: Nobody important.

DOCTOR: Nobody important. Blimey, that's amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before.

“You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the arts, the gentle art of fisticuffs.”

“Two hearts. One happy, one sad.”

“You, Sir, are a NITWIT!”

“Oh, my giddy aunt.”

KOVARIAN: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.

DOCTOR: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

OHILA: We restored you to life, but it's a temporary measure. You have a little under four minutes.

DOCTOR: Four minutes? That's ages. What if I get bored? I need a television, couple of books, anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.

“There's this moment where you're sure you're about to die and then you're born. It's terrifying. Right now I'm a stranger to myself. There's echoes of who I was and a sort of call towards who I am. And I have to hold my nerve and trust all these new instincts. Shape myself towards them. I'll be fine. In the end. Hopefully. Well, I have to be, because you guys need help and if there's one thing I'm certain of, when people need help, I never refuse. Right? This is going to be fun.”

“We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.”

BILL: So, the Time Lords, bit flexible on the whole man-woman thing, then, yeah?

DOCTOR: We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.

BILL: But you still call yourselves Time Lords?

DOCTOR: Yeah. Shut up.

MASTER: Is the future going to be all girl?

DOCTOR: We can only hope.

“Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run.”

AMY: I'm fine. It's just, there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought. Well, I started to think that maybe you were just like a madman with a box.

DOCTOR: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me, because it's important, and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box.

“Biting's excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a winner.”

DOCTOR: I just want to say, you know, you have never been very reliable.

IDRIS: And you have?

DOCTOR: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.

IDRIS: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.

“I wanted to see the universe, so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough.”

RIVER: Got a problem with archaeologists?

DOCTOR: I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

RIVER: Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist.

“Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, I mean, you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. What a night that was. The Towers sang, and you cried.”

RIVER: If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you.

DOCTOR: Time can be rewritten.

RIVER: Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare. It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run.

“I'm so pleased to finally see you. I'm the Doctor and I will be your victim this evening. Are you my mummy?”

LATIMER: He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.

DOCTOR: Stop it.

LATIMER: He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe.

DOCTOR: Stop it! I said stop it.

LATIMER: And he's wonderful.

“Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard, I can feel it through your hands. There's so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain, it's like rocket fuel. Right now, you could run faster and you could fight harder, you could jump higher than ever in your life. And you are so alert, it's like you can slow down time. What's wrong with scared? Scared is a superpower. It's your superpower. There is danger in this room and guess what? It's you.”

JACKIE: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.

DOCTOR: Trouble's just the bits-in-between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me-- all those planets and creatures and horizons! I haven't seen them yet, not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic!

DOCTOR: (talking about the TARDIS) I don't know what is wrong with her, she's sort of... queasy, indigestion... like she didn't want to land.

ROSE: (deadpan) Well if you think that's gonna be trouble, we can always get back inside and go somewhere else.

(The Doctor and Rose laugh.)

DOCTOR: I walked away from the last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords.

I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained.

No time. No space. Just me.

I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man.

I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you will never understand.

And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze.

So come on, then. Take it! Take it all, baby! Have it! You have it all!

TENTH DOCTOR: Oooh, lovely.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Oooh, lovely.

WAR DOCTOR: You're my future selves?

TEN & ELEVEN: Yes!

WAR DOCTOR: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost.

BENTHAM: Encircle them. Which of you is the Doctor? The Queen of England is bewitched. I would have the Doctor's head.

WAR DOCTOR: Well, this has all the makings of your lucky day.

MOMENT: You know the sound the TARDIS makes? That wheezing, groaning. That sound brings hope wherever it goes.

WAR DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I like to think it does.

MOMENT: To anyone who hears it, Doctor. Anyone, however lost... Even you.

CLARA: Be a doctor. You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise?

TENTH DOCTOR: Never cruel or cowardly.

WAR DOCTOR: Never give up, never give in.

“Donna. I'm a human being. Maybe not the stuff of legend but every bit as important as Time Lords, thank you.”

“Let me take it from the top. Hello, I’m The Doctor.”

“ (To the Doctor) You know, you act like such a lonely man. But look at you. You've got the biggest family on Earth.”

“I just want you to know there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. And for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.”

“Every night, Doctor, when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky, and think of you.”

DOCTOR: Why are you calling me madam?

YASMIN: Because you're a woman.

DOCTOR: Am I? Does it suit me?

YASMIN: What?

DOCTOR: Oh yeah, I remember. Sorry, half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman.

“Oh, to hell with this. Exhibit C! No stun guns for me! Just die!”

DONNA: How long have I got to live?

DONNA AND FOURTEENTH DOCTOR: Fifty five seconds.

DONNA: Best 55 seconds of my life, because I get to do this.

COMPUTER: Ignition halted.

DONNA: Donna Noble is descending.

DOCTOR: We're binary.

DONNA: She's not, because the Doctor's…

DOCTOR: ..male…

DONNA: ..and female.

ROSE: And neither. And more.

“It's funny, cos I wonder where the TARDIS goes at random. Maybe it lands on some outcrop by the sea. And there's a tribe and they worship it for 100 years. Then they grow up and try to burn it. Then they get wise. They preserve it. Then they build a city all around it, till the TARDIS is just a tiny little dot, surrounded by skyscrapers and monorails. Time passes and the city falls. It all gets swept away. And there's the TARDIS… still on its outcrop… by the sea. She's the only thing I've got left.”

“Now, someone tell me what the hell is going on here?”

15th DOCTOR: Ah! It's more than that. Our whole lifetime. That Doctor that first met the Toymaker never, ever stopped. Put on trial, exiled, Key to Time, all the devastation of Logopolis.

14th DOCTOR: Adric.

15th DOCTOR: Adric. River Song. All the people we lost. Sarah Jane has gone. Can you believe that for a second?

14th DOCTOR: I loved her.

15th DOCTOR: I loved her. And Rose. But the Time War, Pandorica, Mavic Chen. We fought the Gods of Ragnarok, and we didn't stop for a second… ..to say, what the hell?

14th DOCTOR: But you're fine.

15th DOCTOR: I'm fine because you fixed yourself. We're Time Lords. We're doing rehab out of order.

“The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years, and now I know what for. This. I've never been so happy in my life.”

DOCTOR: Donna!

DONNA: I'm already running!

“I'm going to get killed by a Christmas tree!”

DOCTOR: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown in the air and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed forever!

DOCTOR: Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.

“When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!”

RIVER: I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.

RIVER: I had this book. History's Finest Exploding Restaurants. The best food for free. Skip the coffee.

DOCTOR: Times end, River, because they have to. Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.

RIVER: No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?

RIVER: So, assuming tonight is all we have left.

DOCTOR: I didn't say that.

RIVER: How long is a night on Darillium?

DOCTOR: Twenty four years.

RIVER: I hate you.

DOCTOR: No, you don't.

RORY: I have a message and a question. A message from the Doctor and a question from me. Where is my wife? Oh, don't give me those blank looks. The Twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know. You tell me now, and I'll be on my way.

CYBERLEADER: What is the Doctor's message?

(Outside, all the other ships in the Legion explode.)

RORY: Would you like me to repeat the question?

VASTRA: Send a telegram to Inspector Abberline of the yard. Jack the Ripper has claimed his last victim.

JENNY: How did you find him?

VASTRA: Stringy, but tasty all the same. I shan't be needing dinner.

RIVER: This is the Battle of Demon's Run. The Doctor's darkest hour. He'll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further, and I can't be with him till the very end.

RORY: Why not?

RIVER: Because this is it. This is the day he finds out who I am.

MANTON: Because these guys never can be persuaded.

MANTON: They never can be afraid.

MANTON: And they can never, ever be

DOCTOR: Surprised! Ha, ha! Hello, everyone. Guess who. Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. You're only human.

“This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. Doctor. The word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means mighty warrior. How far you've come. And now they've taken a child, the child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.”

RIVER: It's your daughter's name in the language of the Forest.

AMY: I know my daughter's name.

RIVER: Except they don't have a word for Pond, because the only water in the forest is the River. The Doctor will find your daughter, and he will care for her whatever it takes. And I know that. It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter.

DOCTOR: Parked us? We haven't landed.

RIVER: Of course we've landed. I just landed her.

DOCTOR: But, it didn't make the noise.

RIVER: What noise?

DOCTOR: You know, the (wheezing).

RIVER: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.

DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

AMY: How come you can fly the TARDIS?

RIVER: Oh, I had lessons from the very best.

DOCTOR: Well, yeah.

RIVER: It's a shame you were busy that day.

OCTAVIAN: Doctor Song, I've lost good Clerics today. You trust this man?

RIVER: I absolutely trust him.

OCTAVIAN: He's not some kind of madman, then?

RIVER: I absolutely trust him.

DOCTOR: River Song, I could bloody kiss you.

RIVER: Ah well, maybe when you're older.

“You, me, handcuffs. Must it always end this way?”

DOCTOR: Octavian said you killed a man.

RIVER: Yes, I did.

DOCTOR: A good man.

RIVER: A very good man. The best man I've ever known.

DOCTOR: Who?

RIVER: It's a long story. Doctor. It can't be told, it has to be lived. No sneak previews. Well, except for this one. You'll see me again quite soon, when the Pandorica opens.

DOCTOR: The Pandorica. Ha! That's a fairy tale.

RIVER: Doctor, aren't we all?

DOCTOR: Can I trust you. River Song?

RIVER: If you like. Ha, but where's the fun in that?

DOCTOR: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

AMY: How did it end up in there?

DOCTOR: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.

RIVER: I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.

“Sorry, sorry, dropped it. Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone, because guess who? Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I am talking! The question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question. Who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me. No plan, no back up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else. I don't have anything to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first.”

DOCTOR: Hi, honey. I'm home.

RIVER: And what sort of time do you call this?

DALEK: You will be exterminated!

RIVER: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One Alpha Mezon burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.

DALEK: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor's.

RIVER: I'm River Song. Check your records again.

DALEK: Mercy.

RIVER: Say it again.

DALEK: Mercy!

RIVER: One more time.

DALEK: Mercy!

AMY: Okay, Doctor. Did I surprise you this time?

(The Doctor appears in top hat and tails.)

DOCTOR: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. How lucky I happened to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone. I'm Amy's imaginary friend. But I came anyway.

RIVER: Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you?

DOCTOR: You tell me.

RIVER: Spoilers.

DOCTOR: Sorry, something's come up. This will have to be goodbye.

AMY: Yeah, I think it's goodbye. Do you think it's goodbye?

RORY: Definitely goodbye.

(Amy goes to the door and shouts to Leadworth.)

AMY: Goodbye! Goodbye.

NIXON: You were my second choice for this, Mister Delaware.

CANTON: That's okay. You were my second choice for President, Mister Nixon.

Doctor Song, you've got that face on again.

RIVER: What face?

DOCTOR: The "he's hot when he's clever" face.

RIVER: This is my normal face.

DOCTOR: Yes, it is.

RIVER: Oh, shut up.

DOCTOR: Not a chance.

RORY: What did you mean? What you said to Amy. There's a worst day coming for you.

RIVER: When I first met the Doctor, a long, long time ago, he knew all about me. Think about that. An impressionable young girl and, suddenly this man just drops out of the sky and he's clever and mad and wonderful, and knows every last thing about her. Imagine what that does to a girl.

RORY: I don't really have to.

RIVER: The trouble is, it's all back to front. My past is his future. We're travelling in opposite directions. Every time we meet, I know him more, he knows me less. I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time I do, he'll be one step further away. And the day is coming when I'll look into that man's eyes, my Doctor, and he won't have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me.

MELS: When I was little, I was going to marry you.

DOCTOR: Good idea, let's get married. You stay alive and I'll marry you, deal? Deal?

MELS: Shouldn't you ask my parents permission?

DOCTOR: As soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone.

MELS: Might as well do it now, since they're both right here. Penny in the air. Penny drops.

DOCTOR: Mels. Short for-

MELS: Melody.

AMY: Yeah. I named my daughter after her.

DOCTOR: You named your daughter after your daughter.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then. Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh, the hair. It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of mature.”

“Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor.”

NAZI OFFICER: What are you doing here?

RIVER: Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy Bar-Mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Fuhrer. Who's with me?

NAZI OFFICER: Shoot her.

“All life forms prepare for immediate decease. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.”

“I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how. She taught me. The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean?”

RIVER: Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it?

AMY: Yes! Yes, he is!

(River pours her golden regeneration energy into the Doctor, and he revives.)

DOCTOR: River. No. What are you doing?

RIVER: Hello, sweetie.