CONRAD: We are Think Tank. Exposing the lies perpetuated by UNIT. By you. And we're live streaming, so don't get trigger-happy.

RUBY: This isn't funny.

CONRAD: (laughs) I've had to listen to your stories for weeks now. Put up with your insecurity and vanity, listen to your tedious piano solos, and get smothered in lip gloss. It has been a chore getting to know you. But now it's all worth it.

KATE: Put that phone down.

ELSA: Or what? Going to arrest me, eh? This is censorship. Touch us and we'll sue. We will bankrupt you.

SPARKY: Boo!

KATE: You've made a very big, very dangerous mistake tonight, Conrad.

CONRAD: You don't even remember me, do you? The only monsters out here are UNIT. Lying to the public. Spending our money. Hiding in your tower, and doing what? Huh? Doing what?

RUBY: Protecting people like you.

CONRAD: Oh, they can't stop lying! There are no Shreek. No Cybermen, no Sycorax, no Yetis in the Underground. Here, look! Look! They're stooges and actors, and special effects paid for using taxpayers' money, to keep us scared, to hide their real agenda!

SHIRLEY: The threat to this planet is real. If you want evidence, I've got plenty of it, so you can...

CONRAD: This one's collecting benefits, stealing our taxes while she lies to us. But the lies stop today. There are people all over the world watching this. Sharing, reposting. Demanding the truth. They're using you! All of you. For her dirty work.

RUBY: Do you think UNIT can't handle a few reject cosplayers? Because that's all you are, Conrad.

CONRAD: You've gifted me this moment, Ruby Sunday. Is that even your name, by the way? Cos it's ridiculous.

MR RING-A-DING: Don't make me laugh! Because... (sings) I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding. I'll make your heart bells sing. Please don't make me laugh. Just take my autograph. Now don't be crazy, pretty lady, I know just one thing. For I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Did you ever meet a Ring-a-Ding? Did you ever see such a lovely thing? Now jump and hop and laugh and sing for I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Oh, my!

LUX: I'm a two-dimensional character, you can't expect a backstory!

DOCTOR: Do you know how lonely you are? You live in a great, big, giant spaceship and there aren't any chairs! And you haven't even noticed because nobody ever comes round!

DOCTOR: You are being mansplained by a briefcase.

JOY: I thought I was being mansplained by you.

DOCTOR: Honey, the Doctor's in the room - it's the mansplain central.

DOCTOR: Ugh! Do you see? This is why nobody likes you! You have to be mysterious all the time. That's why everyone leaves you. That is why you are always alone.

TEGAN: This is you all over Doctor, you're always thinking about the adventure, you never stop to look after the people you're supposed to care about!

DOCTOR: That's not fair.

NYSSA: The Doctor was trying to protect you Tegan.

TEGAN: Only as far as it suited his own interests.

Then came the distinctive wheezing, groaning noise that Turlough recognised as the ship coming in to land. 'Where are we?' he asked the Time Lord.

'I won't know that until we've fully materialised,' the Doctor replied.

'You don't even know . . .?' Turlough tried his best to keep the scorn out of his voice.

'Well, that's half the adventure . . .' the Doctor enthused.

RUBY: That's what I don't understand. She… she's so ordinary.

DOCTOR: She's wonderful.

RUBY: No, she's wonderful and she's ordinary, but I love her for that. I just… How did she stay invisible from a god? She defeated Sutekh.

DOCTOR: She was important… because we think she's important. That's how everything happens, every war, every religion, every love story. We invest things with significance. So while the whole of creation was turning around her, it made her sheer existence more powerful than Time Lords and gods. In the end, the most important person in the universe… was the most ordinary. A scared little girl… making her baby safe.

RUBY: But you could come and see my dad. You don't do that, do you? Will I ever see you again?

DOCTOR: Of course you will. Of course you will.

RUBY: Your own granddaughter. You left her and never went back.

DOCTOR: And that was my mistake. Maybe I'll find her again, one day. But you, Ruby Sunday, I will see again. Because you changed me. I talk about family in a way that I never did before. That's because of you. You have made my life bigger and better. And now, Ruby Sunday… goodbye.

RUBY: I love you.

BARISTA: Ruby?

RUBY: That's me. I was named after a road. Ruby Road. You left me by a church… 19 years ago.

LOUISE: Oh, my God.

RUBY: You left me where I was safe. And I just want to say thank you.

LOUISE: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

KATE: My father, he'd tell me stories about you when I was a kid. He'd sit there in the firelight, telling tales of the Doctor, his eyes... shining. But he never, ever mentioned a granddaughter.

DOCTOR: I was a different Doctor back then, Kate. Great enigma. Still can't shake it off. I'm trying.

KATE: If you've got a granddaughter, that means you've got kids!

DOCTOR: Well, not quite. Not yet.

KATE: But... You mean... you can have a granddaughter before a daughter?

DOCTOR: Life of a Time Lord.

KATE: But... Okay, the grandchild exists and you've got the TARDIS, but you've never gone back to see her. Why not?

DOCTOR: You've seen my life. I bring disaster, Kate. Disaster. What if I go back and ruin her?

KATE: For what it's worth, I think you bring joy.

ROGUE: They'll kill us. Then this house. Then London. Then the world. You know that. You absolutely know it. So can you do it? Can you lose your friend to save the world?

DOCTOR: No.

ROGUE: I know.

(Rogue kisses the Doctor and takes the trigger off him. He pushes Ruby out of the triform and takes her place.)

DOCTOR: I have a ship. It's called the TARDIS. That blue box. It harnesses technology that makes it bigger on the inside than on the outside. I could take you all. I could carry you to the stars. I... could find you a home that is safe and clean and everything you want.

LINDY: But... we couldn't travel with you.

RUBY: What? Why... Why not?

LINDY: Because you, sir, are not one of us. I mean, you were kind, although it was your duty to save me, obviously. I mean, screen-to-screen contact is just about acceptable, but... in person? That's impossible.

RUBY: You're scaring me now.

DOCTOR: That thing must be part of the Pantheon. Oh, Ruby, there are vast powers beyond the universe. I told you, when we first met. I said, I said the Toymaker... And defeating him took everything. It ripped me in half.

RUBY: But you survived.

DOCTOR: It literally... it tore my soul in half. I can't survive that again. The Toymaker said... he said, he warned me, he said, "My legions are coming. My legions are coming." He said, "My legions are coming."

RUBY: We made it. The human race, we survived. We went to the stars. And ten minutes ago, Doctor, just ten minutes ago, you said genocide. Your people are gone.

DOCTOR: Yeah.

RUBY: How do you keep going?

DOCTOR: For days like this, Ruby Sunday. I don't have a people. I don't have a home. But I don't have a job, either. I don't have a boss, or taxes or rent or bills to pay. I don't have a purpose or a cause, or a mission, but I have... ..freedom. And so I keep moving on, to see the next thing, and the next, and the next. And sometimes... it looks even better through your eyes.

VALARIE: You mean out there right now there are families like mine, under threat from terrible things?

DOCTOR: Loads of them, unfortunately

VALARIE: And we can save them?

DOCTOR: We can try. It’s all we can do. And sometimes it’s enough.

VALARIE: Then yeah. I’m in.

DOCTOR: Well then. Welcome aboard, Valarie.

BILL: So, the Time Lords, bit flexible on the whole man-woman thing, then, yeah?

DOCTOR: We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe. We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes.

BILL: But you still call yourselves Time Lords?

DOCTOR: Yeah. Shut up.

DOCTOR: Get back in the TARDIS, this is my job!

RIVER: This is my job!

DOCTOR: I've been doing it for longer!

RIVER: And I do it better!

DOCTOR: River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing is worth you!

RIVER: Or you!

DOCTOR: Nothing’s sad until it’s over, and then everything is.

CLARA: No. Why would you even do that? I was dead! I was dead and gone. Why? Why would you even do that to yourself?

DOCTOR: I had a duty of care.

DOCTOR: When something goes missing, you can always recreate it by the hole it left. I know that there was an ice warrior on the submarine and a mummy on the Orient Express. I know we sat together in the cloisters and she told me something very important, but I have no idea what she said... Or what she looked like... Or how she talked... Or laughed.

CLARA: You don't know who you're looking for, I mean... She could be me, for all you know.

DOCTOR: There's one thing I know about her. Just one thing. If I met her again, I would absolutely know.

I am the Doctor. I'm coming to find you, and I will never, ever stop.