DOCTOR: Did I just fly through space on a confetti cannon?

MIKE: Yeah.

DOCTOR: Camp!

DOCTOR: I met Dionysius, we drank so much wine we caused a drought in Athens. Sága and I watched Marvel movies up until Endgame, she didn’t like Thor—muscles were too small. I played chess with Bastet, I let her think that she let me let her win. She kicked my ass thoroughly.

DOCTOR: I won't be long. Belinda's got you, yeah? (He turns off his captioning device.) Bel, be careful of her.

ALISS: I can still lip read.

BELINDA: Oh my god, you actually want to investigate that spooky old cinema? You're... Scooby-Doo.

DOCTOR: Honey, I'm Velma.

BELINDA: So, what’s your name? Doctor what?

DOCTOR: Just the Doctor.

BELINDA: What, you’re actually called the Doctor?

DOCTOR: Yeah.

BELINDA: All right, then. I’m called the Nurse.

DOCTOR: Doctor and Nurse. Good team.

BELINDA: Is that better or worse than humans?

DOCTOR: If you start deciding which body is best, you’re going down a very dangerous path.

MEL: Is this thing safe?

DOCTOR: Absolute deathtrap, Melanie B.

DOCTOR: Give me the loving!

DOCTOR: Oh, I see. My name's bond, molecular bond.

DOCTOR: Villengard. V for Villengard. Biggest weapons manufacturer in recorded history. Supplied all sides in all conflicts for the past two centuries in this sector. Had to deactivate one of these once at a lesbian gymkhana. Underwater. For a bet. Except it wasn't live and I wasn't standing on it. And I lost that bet. Sorry, wrong moment for this story.

SPLICE: Silly. He's not gone. He's just dead. He's not gone.

DOCTOR: That is right. That is exactly right. You keep the faith, Splice.

MUNDY: I thought you didn't like faith much, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I don't need it, Mundy.

RUBY: Wait, how did you do that?

DOCTOR: I spent a long, hot summer with Harry Houdini.

DOCTOR: What the hell are you doing?!

RUBY: I'm... just... There's...

DOCTOR: But what did you do that for? Who sees a ladder and just pops on? A ladder in the sky and you thought, "Yeah, I'll give that a go, babes"?

RUBY: They've got the baby!

DOCTOR: You think life is a balance between order and chaos. But the universe is not binary. Far from it. There is order and chaos… and there is play.

15th DOCTOR: Mel, what do you think?

MEL: I think you're beautiful.

14th DOCTOR: Still beautiful?

MEL: Yeah.

15th DOCTOR: We won the game. You get a prize, honey, and here is mine!

DOCTOR: The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years, and now I know what for. This. I've never been so happy in my life.

DONNA: Was it me, or was Isaac Newton hot?

DOCTOR: He was, wasn't he? He was so hot. Oh! Is that who I am now?

DONNA: Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought…

ROSE: You're assuming "he" as a pronoun?

DOCTOR: True. Yes. Sorry. Good point. Are you he or she or they?

MEEP: My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always The Meep.

DOCTOR: Oh. I do that.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's not working.

TENTH DOCTOR: We're both reversing the polarity.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: Yes, I know that.

TENTH DOCTOR: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity.

WAR DOCTOR: You're my future selves?

TEN & ELEVEN: Yes!

WAR DOCTOR: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR: It's a timey-wimey thing.

WAR DOCTOR: Timey what? Timey-wimey?

TENTH DOCTOR: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up.

DOCTOR: Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm nine hundred and four years old. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness, and you are basically just a rabbit, aren't you? Okay, carry on. Just a general warning.

OHILA: We restored you to life, but it's a temporary measure. You have a little under four minutes.

DOCTOR: Four minutes? That's ages. What if I get bored? I need a television, couple of books, anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.