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DOCTOR: That’s our lives, Belinda. We travel in and out of the slipstreams of time. Beautiful things can be forgotten and gone. But they still happened, somewhere. I think one thing remains. I love you. And I love you, Pops. That will never change.
— The Reality War
Tags: Funny
MRS FLOOD: So much for the two Ranis. It's goodbye from me...
(She disappears.)
ROGUE: Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? I haven't got much time. They're coming. And this hell dimension is sliding into the pit. I don't know if I'm going to survive. Thank you for that, you know. But I have to warn you – I can only send you one warning, and this is going to sound strange, but listen to me. Tables don't do that. Remember. Tables don't do that. I gotta go. I miss you. Well... more than that. I love you.
— Rogue, Wish World
DOCTOR: Did I just fly through space on a confetti cannon?
MIKE: Yeah.
DOCTOR: Camp!
— The Interstellar Song Contest
Dugga Doo: Dugga Doo
Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Doo
Dugga Dugga Dugga Dugga
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la...
RANI: And as for the Doctor... oh, I will bring him absolute terror.
MRS FLOOD: That's what I said!
RANI: Shut up!
DOCTOR: I'm born. I die. I'm born!
— Fifteenth Doctor, The Story & the Engine
Tags: Speech
CONRAD: We are Think Tank. Exposing the lies perpetuated by UNIT. By you. And we're live streaming, so don't get trigger-happy.
RUBY: This isn't funny.
CONRAD: (laughs) I've had to listen to your stories for weeks now. Put up with your insecurity and vanity, listen to your tedious piano solos, and get smothered in lip gloss. It has been a chore getting to know you. But now it's all worth it.
KATE: Put that phone down.
ELSA: Or what? Going to arrest me, eh? This is censorship. Touch us and we'll sue. We will bankrupt you.
SPARKY: Boo!
KATE: You've made a very big, very dangerous mistake tonight, Conrad.
CONRAD: You don't even remember me, do you? The only monsters out here are UNIT. Lying to the public. Spending our money. Hiding in your tower, and doing what? Huh? Doing what?
RUBY: Protecting people like you.
CONRAD: Oh, they can't stop lying! There are no Shreek. No Cybermen, no Sycorax, no Yetis in the Underground. Here, look! Look! They're stooges and actors, and special effects paid for using taxpayers' money, to keep us scared, to hide their real agenda!
SHIRLEY: The threat to this planet is real. If you want evidence, I've got plenty of it, so you can...
CONRAD: This one's collecting benefits, stealing our taxes while she lies to us. But the lies stop today. There are people all over the world watching this. Sharing, reposting. Demanding the truth. They're using you! All of you. For her dirty work.
RUBY: Do you think UNIT can't handle a few reject cosplayers? Because that's all you are, Conrad.
CONRAD: You've gifted me this moment, Ruby Sunday. Is that even your name, by the way? Cos it's ridiculous.
— Lucky Day
KATE: Don't you dare point a gun at her! You were right, Conrad, I didn't remember you. So I checked my notes from that interview eight years ago, and do you know what I wrote?
SHIRLEY: I’d throw in a compliment
KATE: The three words that summed you up? "Don't trust him."
CONRAD: Mm. You think you're so superior. Up in your tower, looking down on us.
KATE: Keeping you safe
CONRAD: I want a confession. On camera. Admit to the lies. Show us the monster costumes. Show us the tech that you’re hiding, that we’ve paid for.
KATE: You’re deluded
CONRAD: The grown ups are talking. Come on, Commander-in-chief. Admit. Or are you a coward, like your father was?
KATE: You should be very careful what you say about my father
CONRAD: His only legacy was a pack of lies.
KATE: He was 100 times the man you are. And that gun is UNIT issue. So where's Jordan Lang?
CONRAD: Who?
IBRAHIM: He's been shot. Ground team are rushing him to the infirmary.
KATE: You shot someone to get in here?
CONRAD: It's nothing to do with me.
KATE: A man's life is hanging in the balance and you're not even sorry.
CONRAD: Maybe you shot him. Or he was an actor. Or he never existed. So come on. Confess! All right. Let's start with your best friend. Where is the Doctor and his box of tricks?
RUBY: Oh, you're so lucky he's not here.
KATE: She's telling the truth. And, actually, I'm glad he's not here. Because he would've stopped me.
CONRAD: Oh. From what?
KATE: From showing you and your followers what we're protecting them from. The truth, Conrad. As requested.
BELINDA: So, if we can't get home, and if the TARDIS isn't broken, then it means... what, planet Earth is broken? Or 2025 is broken? Have we been invaded? Or hit by a meteor? Or swatted by a giant moth?
DOCTOR: (gasps and grins) Imagine a moth that big!
— The Well
Tags: Funny Name dropping
BELINDA: Oh my god, you actually want to investigate that spooky old cinema? You're... Scooby-Doo.
DOCTOR: Honey, I'm Velma.
— Lux
MR RING-A-DING: Don't make me laugh! Because... (sings) I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding. I'll make your heart bells sing. Please don't make me laugh. Just take my autograph. Now don't be crazy, pretty lady, I know just one thing. For I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Did you ever meet a Ring-a-Ding? Did you ever see such a lovely thing? Now jump and hop and laugh and sing for I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Oh, my!
— Mr Ring-a-Ding, Lux
BELINDA: You mean it's literally the same diploma, like in a time travel way?
DOCTOR: Timey-wimey.
BELINDA: Timey-wimey?
DOCTOR: Yup.
BELINDA: Am I six?
— The Robot Revolution
SCOOT: Polish Polish
— Scoot the Polish-Bot, The Robot Revolution
BELINDA: So, what’s your name? Doctor what?
DOCTOR: Just the Doctor.
BELINDA: What, you’re actually called the Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
BELINDA: All right, then. I’m called the Nurse.
DOCTOR: Doctor and Nurse. Good team.
BELINDA: Have you got two hearts?
DOCTOR: Padam, padam.
DOCTOR: Do you know how lonely you are? You live in a great, big, giant spaceship and there aren't any chairs! And you haven't even noticed because nobody ever comes round!
— Fifteenth Doctor, Joy to the World
DOCTOR: So a hotel, but instead of rooms, time portals, yeah?
TREV: Yeah.
DOCTOR: Oh! Oh! That stone door up there, that is actual stone, live from the Stone Age. God... Live from a submarine. Mesopotamia. (a leaning door) Oh, come on, got to be Pisa.
TREV: Yeah, Pisa.
DOCTOR: Ha! (looking at leaflet) Ancient Rome, the fall of Troy, your favourite assassination. Package deals for all of history's biggest hits. No wonder there was no room at the inn.
— Joy to the World
DOCTOR: Ugh! Do you see? This is why nobody likes you! You have to be mysterious all the time. That's why everyone leaves you. That is why you are always alone.
SUSAN: Oh, pet. Anything to help. I don't mind. I'll make the tea.
IBRAHIM: Did you make this tea?
SUSAN: I did, yes.
IBRAHIM: Don't make the tea.
— Empire of Death
Tags: Speech Sad
KATE: Doctor, are you there? This is me signing off… with thanks and love. And please send this monster back into hell. Because I have to hope that the birds will sing again. There will be birds.
— Kate Stewart, Empire of Death
RUBY: What is it?
DOCTOR: It's a remembered TARDIS. It's bits and pieces of every TARDIS that ever was, held together by hopes and wishes and luck.
MEL: Is this thing safe?
DOCTOR: Absolute deathtrap, Melanie B.
FLOOD: And that's how the story of the Church on Ruby Road comes to an end, with a very happy ending for little Ruby Sunday. But life goes on, doesn't it? Ruthlessly. And what happens, you might wonder. Oh, what happens to that mysterious traveller in Time and Space known as the Doctor? I'm sorry to say his story ends in absolute terror. Night, night.
— Mrs Flood, Empire of Death
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