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“WITHOUT A PADDLE: ELEVEN, RIVER, AND A STORY THAT SINKS FAST"

Without a Paddle is one of those stories that sounds like it should be fun—Eleven and River Song reunited in a chaotic, aquatic heist—but it sadly fails to deliver on its promise. The premise involves River being captured by an underwater alien race after attempting to steal their sacred golden paddle (yes, really), prompting the Doctor and Alice to mount a rescue. But any hopes of a thrilling romp are quickly dashed by a messy execution on every level.

A CONFUSING SPLASH OF PLOT AND DIALOGUE

The central conflict is never clearly established. Who are these underwater aliens? Why is the paddle so important? Why is River involved at all? The story gives us few answers and even fewer reasons to care. Dialogue is clunky and fails to capture the snappy, flirtatious banter that usually defines the Doctor and River's interactions. There's an attempt to recreate their typical spark, but it feels half-hearted, as if the writer knows the rhythm but not the tune.

ALICE IN THE BACKGROUND

Alice, Eleven’s regular comic companion, is almost entirely sidelined in this tale. Despite being present, she’s barely given anything to do, which is disappointing considering her usual sharpness and emotional grounding. Instead, the story focuses on the Doctor and River—yet even they don’t feel like fully realised versions of themselves.

ART DIRECTION GONE AWRY

The artwork does little to help matters. The action is murky and hard to follow, with panels lacking the visual clarity or dynamism needed to support a story that takes place in such an unusual, underwater setting. Faces are inconsistent, environments are bland, and overall it lacks the polish needed to elevate a weak script. With the visuals doing little to support comprehension or engagement, the story ends up feeling even more muddled.

📝VERDICT: 4/10

Without a Paddle is a shallow, confusing, and ultimately forgettable comic story that struggles on every front. From murky artwork to underdeveloped characters and a nonsensical plot, it wastes the potential of a reunion between Eleven and River Song. Alice is sidelined, the underwater setting is barely explored, and the entire affair feels like a story that wasn’t ready to leave dry land. Not even River’s usual charm can keep this one afloat.

Another Dinnick referring to his own works, neat!

Story is the same sludge as the other 2/5s I have given in this series. Why Thirteen? Because that’s the holiday this and that that we give to marriage okay River. Reasons that feel like they’re made up at the exact moment they’re needed.

The art isn’t bad per se, but it’s completely unreadable if you’ll allow me the hyperbolics. We’re always way too close, there’s no way to make out what’s happening, and so many panels cut parts off that you feel shouldn’t be. It’s almost more like it was stitched together from a very limited pool of pictures, not drawn for the comic. Completely ridiculous honestly. Maybe there was some artistic intend, but I find more that it’s missing some very basic comic drawing things. Hm. Now that I lay it down like that I might just decrease the score to a 1,5… Well, I’ll see, and you will definitely, reader, because you’re in the future already! Wow! Time travel! Just like in the hit television series Doctor Who!