Weapon of Choice

ROMANA: K9 is a vicious robot criminal from the fifth galaxy. Aren’t you, K9?

K9: Affirmative!

BRAXIATEL: Mozart, Madam? The Magic Flute?

ROMANA: It purports to be. How K9 will ever understand beauty, I don’t know. Not when the only recordings he can access are so inadequate. He’ll just have to go to Salzburg.

BRAXIATEL: Ah, where you can be his star blazing queen of the night.

ROMANA: Don’t push it, Braxiatel.

LEELA: They mean you no cruelty when they chew on your bones.

OLD MAN: That is so. This is the life of the outsider. Why would you cross this line, sister Leela?

LEELA: When I am inside the city, old man, now, that feels like outside to me.

OLD MAN: You have been inside for many years. You have changed, for the city never does.

LEELA: There was a man. They said he was my tamer, but it was not like that. We were both of us lions, happily mated in our cage. Then came the day that he did not return. As two lions, we were proud to walk the city, but one lion alone does not make a pride. There is not even the Doctor. Not anymore.

LEELA: I could not return to the place I came from.

ROMANA: Well, yours is a special case.

NARVIN: How so, Madam President?

ROMANA: Because I say it is!

LEELA: I do not lie. I shall kill you, Time Lord.

TORVALD: Leela, please.

LEELA: I shall dangle your entrails before your dying eyes.

TORVALD: That’s… really horrible.

LEELA: I might stay here. It is as much a home as Gallifrey. Here, I would be of use.

ROMANA: But you can be of use to me.

LEELA: How is that?

ROMANA: I need someone to watch my back. A Presidential bodyguard.

LEELA: Me? A bodyguard? K9! I am to be a Presidential bodyguard!

ROMANA: K9 is a vicious robot criminal from the fifth galaxy. Aren't you K9?

K9: Affirmative!

ROMANA: Oh come on. You need to be more assertive than that.

K9: Slaves will carry K9 unit into the capsule!

LEELA: Why do you make that funny voice K9?

K9: Now slave! Or I will have you atomized!

LEELA: I will kick your head off first!

LEELA: Oh... It is a game!

K9: Mistress.

LEELA: That is alright then!

LEELA: Is this a TARDIS? But it is the same size on the inside!

TORVALD: I don't mind the squeeze if you don't, Savage.

LEELA: My name is Leela, Weasel Mouth.

LEELA: Romana, this TARDIS is broken.

ROMANA: It's meant to get you there and back. You are not traveling as Time Lords now.