[Craig and Sophie's house]

(Craig is nervously eating a yoghurt)

CRAIG: I still can't believe I'm allowed him.

SOPHIE: He's your son

CRAIG: That's what I'm talking about, I mean, who authorised this? It's the single most terrifying thing to ever happen to me. I mean, what if I break him?

SOPHIE: Yeah you best try not to do that.

CRAIG: Alright mate? See, nothing!

(The electrics flicker)

SOPHIE: He's fine, he loves you, see?

CRAIG: It's just when I look into his eyes I see everything I'm gonna do wrong for the next 60 years reflected back at me!

SOPHIE: You're gonna be an amazing Dad, 'cos you're an amazing man!

CRAIG: Okay. Eh? That's good? Still not broken.

(Sophie is reading the newspaper)

SOPHIE: Another one. Have you seen all these people disappearing?

CRAIG: And you're absolutely sure about this, me and him on our own for a whole weekend?

SOPHIE: Of course, what is the worst that could happen?

CRAIG: Don't ever say that! If you say that, terrible things will happen! Have you never seen a film?

SOPHIE: Come on, it's his bath time.

CRAIG: What?! We literally just did that yesterday

(The lights flicker some more)

SOPHIE: Oh for god's sake, stop your fussing, everything's gonna be fine! It's wet elbows, not the end of the world. Come on.

CRAIG: Alright, let's get you in the bath. Do I have to bath him? When you're gone?

Transcript by Shauny. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.