Torchwood – The Monthly Adventures

#037. Tropical Beach Sounds and Other Relaxing Seascapes #4 ~ 10/10

◆ An Introduction

Suffering with anxiety is something that everyone will go through in their life, and everyone has their own way of coping. Some people will go for long walks and take in the fresh air. Others will read a book, or do something creative. If you’re like me, you’ll drink far too much iced coffee and binge watch old episodes of QI!

ASMR is another excellent way to relax. I always have some on when I’m writing these reviews, but it has to relate to the story I’m covering to help me concentrate. A good example would be cyberpunk ASMR for ‘Burning Heart’, or a winter wonderland one for ‘Equilibrium’.

I wonder what would happen if those ASMR videos suddenly became deadly… and if they were narrated by national treasure, Sir Michael Palin!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

You are listening to a self-help tape. You are hearing a soothing voice. You have always wanted to do something with your life, haven't you? Oh, how you've ached to be a better person.

Well now. This is your chance. Go on. Sit back. Close your eyes. Relax. You're going to learn all about Captain Jack Harkness. You're going to learn all about Torchwood.

You're going to change the world.

◆ Cpt. Jack Harkness

Because this story keeps up the self-help façade for quite some time, each member of the Torchwood team are described as embodiments of our own internal aspect. Total rubbish, but still a brilliant idea.

Jack is handsome, he’s smartly dressed, and he’s dead. He is the Captain of our destiny, according to the Voice.

◆ Ianto Jones

Described as an attractive embodiment, Ianto is positive emotion.

◆ Toshiko Sato

Tosh is intellect and curiosity. She is neural learning and retained information.

◆ Owen Harper

Owen is all kinds of negative emotion. His face is made of scowls. His empathy is a boat with a hole in it; he would sink in our seascape.

◆ Gwen Cooper

Gwen is many things; she is intuition and emotional intelligence, and courage, and compassion.

◆ “Listen to the warm, expensive tones of Sir Michael Palin…”

I completely understand why this is one of the highest rated Torchwood releases, and I hope whoever managed to cajole Michael Palin into doing this got a hefty pay rise! Speaking as somebody who has listened to enough ASMR to last a lifetime, his voice is incredibly relaxing. You could genuinely convince someone that this is an actual self-help tape… if you weren’t suddenly flung into a dreary storage locker inside the Hub!

Palin’s character is never explicitly named and spends the whole episode shrouded in mystery, but he is quite clearly the villain. The Voice spends the episode directly addressing the real world listener, as if we’re meant to be the ones carrying out his planned infiltration of Torchwood. But his authority does slip on a few occasions: the tropical beach façade tries to reassert itself in some rather amusing scenes.

The Voice is quite similar to the narrator of the Stanley Parable in some ways. Both are well-spoken and very friendly at the beginning of their respective stories, but gradually become more and more irritable and snappy with the real world participant.

◆ Sound Design

An experimental audio adventure allows the sound artist to reach outside of their comfort zone, and have a great deal of fun doing so. Richard Fox must have thought all his Christmases came at once when the script for ‘Tropical Beach Sounds’ arrived on his desk.

The audio landscape is fairly minimal throughout the episode, but there are some fantastic little moments where it really leans into the ASMR aspect of things; like when Toshiko is knocked unconscious, because you crunched a piece of unearthly shortbread in her ear, and subjected her to tingles that overloaded her autonomous sensory meridian response! Completely insane, but it had me laughing.

◆ Music

The episode begins with this soothing tropical melody that conjures up images of palm trees, golden sands and piña coladas. It’s almost a shame that the story has to pull the rug out from under you, because I was suddenly in the mood for a beach holiday!

◆ Conclusion

“In this recording, you will go for a walk by the sea and you'll become the Captain of your destiny.”

BigFinish rarely do experimental stories nowadays – more than likely because Briggsy wants an extension to his giant mansion made of money, or a Spiridon themed jacuzzi – but the writers occasionally get the chance to create something totally out of left field.

A haunted self-help tape performed by the legendary Sir Michael Palin. The concept alone is utter madness, but works surprisingly well. It was also a wise decision to have the real-world listener be the main character.

Sir Michael Palin was the sole performer in this release, and deserves a round of applause for putting on a fantastic show. Starting out as this relaxing voice of reason, which gradually becomes more insulting and unhinged as the self-help tape progresses.

‘Tropical Beach Sounds’ is unlike anything else that BigFinish have released. I totally understand why some people might find it a baffling experience, but speaking as someone who adores guided meditation and ASMR – yes, fully aware I’m a hipster – this release really appealed to me. I can highly recommend this episode to everyone, but especially those who value the experimental side of the audio plays.

Is there anything Sir Michael Palin can't do? Despite freely admitting that he'd never listened to nor seen Torchwood he still manages to pull off a skilful performance full of that dry wit and Python humour we've come to know and love. The methods of killing people are gleefully inventive and this is far and away the most experimental that Big Finish have ever been, with the story being done in a second person narrative and taking the form of a haunted self help tape.

Overall, this is a wonderfully inventive story made all the better by Sir Michael whom I hope returns to do further voice acting work for Big Finish.