The Zygon Inversion

[Clara's flat]

(We see Clara in her Zygon pod. Next, she's waking up suddenly in her own bed. The alarm clock shows the time backwards at first, then correctly. 6:26. The camera is at a slight tilt to convey unreality as Clara gets up and walks along the corridor to the bathroom. She opens the cabinet and takes out a tube labelled This Is Toothpaste, then squeezes some onto her toothbrush, dropping it in the sink when she sees that it is black.)

DOCTOR [OC]: Clara. Clara!

(Clara goes to the living room.)

CLARA-Z [OC]: You're breaking up!

(The television screen is crackling with static signal.)

DOCTOR [OC]: The invasion has happened. You're probably surrounded by Zygons. Get to the TARDIS, get yourself safe. Apparently my plane is never going to land. Let's see what we can do about that!
CLARA-Z: I'm sorry, but Clara's dead.

(Clara runs to the front door and opens it, but there is only a blank wall behind it. In the pod, her eyes move rapidly beneath the lids. She goes to the window in the living room and opens the curtains. Blank.)

CLARA: Dream checks.

(The newspaper print is gibberish.)

CLARA: Dream checks, dream checks.

(Except for down at the bottom of the page.)

CLARA-Z [OC]: It's your decision, Doctor.

(She turns more pages to read -)

CLARA-Z [OC]: Truth or consequences.

(The television now shows Clara-Zygon's viewpoint, through the missile launcher to the Doctor's aeroplane. Clara leaps up and jolts the screen. Clara-Z's arm jerks and the missile misses the plane.)

[Aeroplane]

(Where Osgood is looking down out of a window.)

OSGOOD: Doctor?

(The plane rocks as the missile zooms past.)

DOCTOR: Missed!

(Clara-Z reloads and aims. Clara strains to move the TV again, but it won't budge. Instead, she shapes her hand as if it is on the trigger, and tries to stop her counterpart from squeezing. She bites it and Clara-Z fires the missile. The aeroplane goes Ka-BOOM! Clara-Z turns away, satisfied.)

[Etoine's flat]

(A frightened man carrying a couple of full plastic shopping bags runs up the slope from an underpass very like the one in Flatline, bumping into a street cleaner who is brushing sizzling bundles of hair along the ground. He drops his shopping and carries on running into the block of flats above the Fleet Estate Cenre, looking back occasionally at the impassive people standing and sitting around. Clara-Z comes up the slope and sees him run inside, then catches him up inside his bare and tatty living space.)

CLARA-Z: I know what you are.
ETOINE: Please. Please.
CLARA-Z: I'm going to set you free. Humans cannot accept the way we really are. If we cannot hide, we must fight. You are going to be the first. The first to make the humans see.

(She raises her arms and zaps his head. He falls then runs away. We hear squelching noises as his arm transforms into thick pink with suckers. He runs outside as more suckers pop out of his skin.)

[Fleet Estate]

(Clara-Z follows to watch the transformation as he stands in front of a group of unmoved teenagers, and films it on her phone.)

ETOINE: Help me. Help me. Help! Help me.

(Transformation complete, the terrified Zygon runs back into to the shopping centre. Clara-Z makes a call.)

CLARA-Z: Commander here. The first one has been changed. I'm going to UNIT to retrieve the Osgood box.

(In her mind, in her pod, Clara replays the moment the aeroplane exploded, then pauses the image on the TV.  Two parachutes are visible. She smiles.)

[Beach]

(Littered with bits of wreckage. Osgood sits up, still wearing the parachute harness. She feels around her for her spectacles and finds they have broken at the bridge.)

OSGOOD: Doctor? Doctor!

(She shrugs off her harness and goes over to where he is getting out of his, nearby, sonic sunglasses safely on his nose.)

DOCTOR: Any questions?
OSGOOD: Why do you have a Union Jack parachute?
DOCTOR: Er, camouflage.
OSGOOD: Camouflage?
DOCTOR: Yes, we're in Britain. Oh, your specs are broken. I'll fix them. You can wear mine, they're sonic.
OSGOOD: Sonic specs?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
OSGOOD: Isn't that a bit pointless? Like a visual hearing aid?
DOCTOR: What's wrong with pointless? I once invented an invisible watch. Spot the design flaw.
OSGOOD: You're talking nonsense to distract me from being really scared. It's one of your known character traits.

(She puts the sonic sunglasses on.)

DOCTOR: Don't look at my browser history.

(The sunglasses beep.)

OSGOOD: Whoa!
DOCTOR: Yeah, I said don't.

(They reach the concrete jetty leading up off the beach and walk up it..)

OSGOOD: Why didn't that Zygon blow us up with her big bazooka?
DOCTOR: She did blow us up with her big bazooka. This is us being blown up with a big bazooka.
OSGOOD: But, I mean, she seems to know what she's doing. The first thing I'd do if I wanted to invade the world would be to kill you.
DOCTOR: Thanks.
OSGOOD: I wouldn't even let you get talking, like you always do. Bullet between the eyes, first thing.
DOCTOR: Again, thank you.
OSGOOD: Twelve times, if necessary.
DOCTOR: Ah, yes. Why limit yourself? You've really thought this through, haven't you?
OSGOOD: I'm a big fan. But she gave you a chance to get out. She hesitated. If she had Clara's memory print, she'd know better than to give you even a second. You've gone quiet because I mentioned Clara. You think she might be dead.
DOCTOR: Yes.
OSGOOD: Are you okay?
DOCTOR: I don't know. I'm still in the hope phase.
OSGOOD: How's that going?
DOCTOR: Hell. Please talk about something else.
(In her mind, in the pod, Clara is miming texting with her eyes closed. In the real world, Clara-Z is texting without realising it.
Osgood and the Doctor reach the access road.)
OSGOOD: Why do they want to destroy the ceasefire?
DOCTOR: Don't think of them as rational. They're different. They don't care about human beings, they don't care about their own people. They think the rest of Zygonkind are traitors.

(The Doctor's phone bingles. New text message.)

DOCTOR: It's a splinter group.

(The Doctor takes it out of his pocket and looks. The sender is Clara.)

OSGOOD: Clara. Well, not Clara. The Zygon who
DOCTOR: The Zygon who probably killed her. Read it.

(She takes the phone.)

OSGOOD: It says, I'm awake.
DOCTOR: What does that mean? A political awakening? Why would she be sending me propaganda? She just blew me up with a big bazooka.
OSGOOD: Never really met Clara. Pretty strong, yeah?
DOCTOR: She was amazing.
OSGOOD: No. Not was. Is. It's not from the Zygon. It's from Clara.
DOCTOR: How?
OSGOOD: She's not dead. She's in a pod somewhere. They need a live feed to the information in her brain. But she's fighting back. She's trying to take control, piece by piece.
DOCTOR: Texting?
OSGOOD: How much more human do you get? The Zygon probably doesn't even know it sent this, or why it misfired that bazooka.
DOCTOR: You don't know. It's just a theory.
OSGOOD: Yes, it's just a theory, but how's that hope phase now?
DOCTOR: Worse than ever.
OSGOOD: Then we've got a game.

[UNIT safe house]

(Clara-Z walks past a mirror to a picture of the First Doctor, which she moves to reveal a safe with a keypad. She opens it, then goes back to the mirror when she realises that instead of a reflection, it showed Clara and her living room as she went by. But it is just a reflection now, so she returns to the safe, removes a laptop and switches it on.)

OSGOOD 2 [on screen]: Hello. If you're watching this, I have been captured and interrogated.
OSGOOD 1 [on screen]: During the interrogation, I have revealed to you the existence of the Osgood box.

(Switch to view of Clara-Z's increasingly annoyed face.)

OSGOOD [OC]: I have revealed its location and the combination to open this safe. And guess what?
BOTH [on screen]: I lied.
OSGOOD 2 [on screen]: The Osgood box exists. But it's not here, so stop looking.
OSGOOD 1 [on screen]: Really, stop.
OSGOOD 2 [on screen]: The Osgood box can end the ceasefire.
OSGOOD 1 [on screen]: The Osgood box can start the war. The Osgood box can wipe out all humankind. But there's a reason it's called the Osgood box.
OSGOOD 2 [on screen]: Haven't you guessed?

(Angry Clara-Z grabs the lap-top and throws it to the floor, stamping on it.)

[Road]

(The Doctor and Osgood go up to a police car.)

DOCTOR: Hello! Hi! Hello.

(The policemen wind down the window and he shows them his psychic paper.)

DOCTOR: Doctor John Disco. It was my plane. I had a big plane for purposes of er, poncing about.

(The policemen do not react.)

DOCTOR: It went off with a massive bang about half a mile that way? Actually, er, It's fine. We're, we're fine, aren't we?
OSGOOD: Yeah. Yeah.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, we're fine. Just, er, move along. (quietly to Osgood) Come on.

(They walk away. Osgood calls Clara back.)

OSGOOD: She's answered.
DOCTOR: Hello.

[UNIT Safe House / Road]

CLARA-Z: You're dead.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, I'm dead now, and I think I might be a bit more dead in a minute. What's your plan, Zygella?

(The police car is reversing to block access back to the beach.)

CLARA-Z: I don't have a plan.
DOCTOR: Come on, you don't invade planets without having kind of plan. That's why they're called planets, to remind you to plan it? Hey, hey! That's good! Pun-tastic. Doctor Pun-tastic! Oh, come on, that was a good one, Zygella!

(The policemen get out of the car to follow them.)

CLARA-Z: Don't call me Zygella. My name's Bonnie. My name's Bonnie. (quick wink)
DOCTOR: And you're winking at me.
CLARA-Z: I am not winking at you. Where is the Osgood box? (wink)
DOCTOR: You do know what winking means? You're sending out some very mixed messages here. You know I'm over two thousand years old? I'm old enough to be your Messiah.

(More policemen are approaching.)

CLARA-Z [OC]: I am not winking at you. Where is the box?
DOCTOR: We need some wheels. The van!

(They return to a VW van parked half on the pavement and half on double yellow lines.)

DOCTOR: Okay. Non-verbal communication. I assume that you never bothered to learn Morse code. (sotto) Specs! Setting 137.

(Osgood sonics the car doors open.)

CLARA-Z: Tell me!
DOCTOR: Okay, we'll have to try something else. Twenty questions. Where's your pod? Is it in a tunnel? Is it in London?

(Clara-Z feels her eyelids twitching and raises her hand to cover one then both of them.)

DOCTOR: Thanks very much. Gotcha!

(They get into the van, Osgood into the passenger seat, the Doctor is driving.)

DOCTOR: Stay where you are, Clara. We're coming to get you. And for God's sake, don't let her into your memories.
CLARA-Z: Memories? What memories? What has she got? Don't tell her where the Osgood box is, and above all, don't tell her what it is.

[Van]

(Call ends. The Doctor hands the phone back to Osgood, starts the engine and drives off with a little wheel-spin.)

OSGOOD: Obviously, the Zygon could hear that.
DOCTOR: Obviously.
OSGOOD: So she's going to poke around inside Clara's mind, looking for answers.
DOCTOR: The mind of Clara Oswald. She may never find her way out. (he chuckles.)
OSGOOD: I don't think I've ever seen you smile before.
DOCTOR: Dazzling, isn't it?

(Phone beeps.)

OSGOOD: Oh. I got a ping on Clara's phone. It's the location Bonnie sent the text from. A shopping centre, south London.
DOCTOR: Ah, London. Perpetual city, cradle of culture, here we come! Clara, stay safe.
OSGOOD: She's posted a video link.

(BBC News, of course.)

WOMAN [OC]: A video supposedly showing an alien in south London is posted across the internet.
OSGOOD: This is the same place Bonnie texted from. We need to hurry.

[Clara's living room]

(Clara-Z walks up to Clara's pod and taps on the window. The television comes to live.)

CLARA-Z [on screen]: Hello.

(Clara grabs the remote and tries to change channels.)

CLARA-Z [on screen]: Oh, there's no point turning over. There's nothing better on the other side. I could erase your mind.
CLARA: Then why haven't you?

(Clara-Z closes her eyes.)

CLARA: Having trouble?

(Clara closes her eyes.)

CLARA: Let's see what I can do.

(Clara-Z turns into a Zygon, falls down, then stands back up in human form again.)

CLARA: See, this thing works two ways, you know.
CLARA [OC]: I want those memories!

(Clara sits on the sofa to read her newspaper.)

CLARA: Trouble is, you're asking me for them, which means you can't access them, right?
CLARA-Z [in tunnel]: I can make you tell me.
CLARA: No, you can't, otherwise you would have done already.
CLARA-Z [in tunnel]: I can kill you.
CLARA: Go on, then.
CLARA-Z [in tunnel]: You think you're calling my bluff.
CLARA: I am calling your bluff. You need me alive.
CLARA-Z [OC]: Only as a source of information.
CLARA: Then you'd better start asking questions.
CLARA-Z [in tunnel]: You'd better not lie.
CLARA: (laughs) You see, that's the problem. I am a brilliant liar. How are you ever going to know?
CLARA-Z [on TV]: Oh, Clara. For a moment, I thought you were clever.

(Clara-Z puts two fingers to the pulse in her left arm. The heartbeat is heard.)

CLARA-Z [on TV]: Our hearts are linked. Beat for beat. The one thing you and I can never do is lie to each other.

(Clara checks her own heartbeat.)

CLARA-Z [in tunnel]: Oh, that scared you, didn't it?

[Fleet Estate]

(The van screeches to a halt. The Doctor and Osgood get out. She is tracking the exact location of the text and video, and has her own spectacles on again.)

DOCTOR: London! What a dump.
OSGOOD: London's okay.
DOCTOR: No, it's not, it's a dump.
OSGOOD: You spend an awful lot of time here, considering it's a dump.
DOCTOR: I spend an awful lot of time being kidnapped, tortured, shot at and exterminated. Doesn't mean I like it.
OSGOOD: Well, this is where the video was shot. Bonnie was here. Come on, Doctor.

[Fleet Estate Centre]

(The place is dark.)

DOCTOR: There's electricity in the air.
OSGOOD: It stinks. It smells like barbecues. (a few steps further in) Oh.

(Sizzling hairy lumps.)

[Tunnel / Clara's living room]

CLARA-Z: Now, listen to me. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to ask you questions and if you don't tell me the exact and complete truth, I will know and I will kill you. Do you understand me?
CLARA: Yes.
CLARA-Z: I will slaughter you in that pod right now. Am I lying to you?
CLARA: No.
CLARA-Z: Good. Then we'll begin. Where is the Osgood box? You will answer me, Clara. Truth or consequences, lie and you die. Where is it?
CLARA: UNIT HQ. Under the Tower of London.
CLARA-Z: Where specifically?
CLARA: The Black Archive.
CLARA-Z: Ah, yes. The dark little storage facility for forbidden alien tech, where this all began. Who has access to it?
CLARA: The Osgoods.
CLARA-Z: Only the Osgoods?
CLARA: The Doctor sealed it up after the last time. Didn't want UNIT interfering with the ceasefire.
CLARA-Z: Don't avoid the question. Do only the Osgoods have access?
CLARA: The Doctor has access, too.
CLARA-Z: Who else? Ah. You. You have access?
CLARA: Yes.
CLARA-Z: Is it a key? Or a code? No, a pass. A key code? Give it to me now.
CLARA: I can't.
CLARA-Z: Interesting. You're not lying.
CLARA: No, I'm not.
CLARA-Z: But you have access of some kind.
CLARA: Obviously.
CLARA-Z: Give it to me now.
CLARA: I told you. I can't. You know I'm not lying, I can't give you access.
CLARA-Z: Okay, how do you get in there? How, physically, do you get in?
CLARA: It's automatic.
CLARA-Z: But how? Tell me!
CLARA: The door is keyed to my body print.
CLARA-Z: Ah, yes, your body print. You can't give me access, because I have access already. I'm you.
CLARA: Yes.
CLARA-Z: And what am I going to find? What's in the Osgood box? Clara?
CLARA: The box ends the ceasefire.
CLARA-Z: So I'm told. How?
CLARA: There's a button inside the box. Press it, it will transmit a signal that will unmask every Zygon on the planet for up to an hour. What's there to smile about?
CLARA-Z: Ah, mass panic followed by war. Every Zygon on our side at a stroke.
CLARA: Twenty million Zygons against seven billion humans. That's not a war you can win.
CLARA-Z: Then we will die in the fire, instead of living in chains.
CLARA: Most of your own kind don't want that.
CLARA-Z: Then it's time we stopped giving them a choice.
CLARA: It's time you asked the most important question.
CLARA-Z: Which is?
CLARA: I'm waiting.
CLARA-Z: Why's it called an Osgood box?
CLARA: I'm not telling you.
CLARA-Z: Good. I've been looking forward to hearing you scream.
CLARA: I'm not telling you, because when you get to the Black Archive, you'll find out for yourself. And when you do, you're going to want to speak to me again. Am I lying to you?

(The heartbeats say no.)

CLARA: See you later.

(She turns the TV off.)

[Fleet Estate Centre]

(Using flash lights.)

DOCTOR: What's your name?
OSGOOD: Osgood.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. Your first name?
OSGOOD: What's your first name?
DOCTOR: Basil.
OSGOOD: Petronella.
DOCTOR: Let's just, er, stick with what we had. I need to ask you, because it's important, because it might matter.
OSGOOD: What's important?
DOCTOR: Which one are you? Human or Zygon?

(A door opens nearby and something squelches. They run to find a Zygon, who in turn runs into a general store to try and hide. It turns back into the man from earlier, but not completely.)

DOCTOR: We can help you.
ETOINE: It wasn't me. They attacked me. They saw me. I had to.

(The squelchy transformation should, but he doesn't change much, just the odd sucker. It clearly hurts.)

DOCTOR: It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay.
ETOINE: A commander came. She turned me back! Argh!
OSGOOD: We can help. We can help you. Doctor, we can help him, can't we?
ETOINE: I'm not sure.

(A burst of electricity leaps from Etoine to the Doctor, who staggers briefly. Etoine runs.)

DOCTOR: Please! Come back! Come back!

[Tunnel]

(Kate enters with a Zygon escort.)

KATE: North America reporting back to High Command.
CLARA-Z: I'm going to the Black Archive. I'll open it up, you will follow.
KATE: Of course.
CLARA-Z: But first, locate the Doctor. If possible, duplicate him, and then kill him.
KATE: It will be my pleasure.

[Store room]

DOCTOR: I can't help you just now, but

(Another bolt of electricity leaves Etoine and grazes the Doctor.)

ETOINE: Why? I was happy like this. I was happy here.
DOCTOR: I understand.
ETOINE: I can't change. I can't hide.
OSGOOD: Let us help you.
ETOINE: No! You're Truth or Consequences.
OSGOOD: We're not. We're really not.

(Etoine transforms a little more.)

ETOINE: I'm not part of your fight. I never wanted to fight anyone, I just wanted to live here. Why can't I just live?
DOCTOR: We're on your side.
ETOINE: I'm not on anyone's side. This is my home.
DOCTOR: Listen, we are not them.
ETOINE: I can't go back now. You've taken my life!

(Etoine holds his hand up, palm towards his own face.)

DOCTOR: No, no, no! Stop! Stop! Stop,
ETOINE: They will kill me.

(Etoine commits suicide.)

DOCTOR: There it is, Osgood. There's their plan.

[Fleet Estate Centre]

(Walking back through the shopping centre.)

DOCTOR: Unmask everyone, provoke fear, paranoia, provoke a war.
KATE: Doctor.

(Her escort now look like UNIT soldiers.)

DOCTOR: Kate! Are you all right?
KATE: Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?
DOCTOR: It's just I'd heard otherwise.
KATE: I'm fine. Doctor, we know where the Zygon command centre is. We know where Clara's pod is. We can take you there.
DOCTOR: Well, how very convenient, because that's just exactly what we're looking for.

[UNIT HQ]

CLARA-Z: And here it is, the Black Archive. Oh, I do like being you, Clara.

(Clara's pod is being wheeled on a box trolley by two UNIT soldiers.)

CLARA-Z: Everyone just waves you on past. Now, how does this work?

(She waves her left hand in front of a light and the vault door unlocks. Clara-Z leads the way in.)

[Tunnel]

(Kate leads the Doctor and Osgood to the pods, with the soldiers bringing up the rear.)

DOCTOR: Well, they like a good cave, don't they? How many of these pods are occupied?
KATE: We don't know.
DOCTOR: Which one is Clara's?
KATE: Well, that's strange. It was here before.
OSGOOD: Doctor, I think they're Zygons.
DOCTOR: Oh, you cheeky little monkeys!

[Black Archive]

CLARA-Z: Normalise.

(Her soldiers turn into Zygons. Clara-Z finds the room with a long table and the red Osgood box on the end of it.)

CLARA-Z: Well, Clara, I think you're reaching the end of your

(She steps into the room and sees something that shuts her up. Then her phone rings.)

[Tunnel]

(Kate is using the Zygon communicator.)

KATE: The Doctor is here.
CLARA-Z: Don't kill him. We need him alive.
KATE: What for?

[Black Archive]

CLARA-Z: Because I just found out why it's called an Osgood box.

(Move forward to reveal a blue box at the other end of the table.)

[Tunnel]

CLARA-Z [OC]: There's two of them.
DOCTOR: Two Osgoods, two boxes. Operation Double. What did you expect?

[Black Archive]

CLARA-Z: What's in them, Doctor? Tell me. Now!

[Tunnel]

DOCTOR: One box normalises all the Zygons.
CLARA-Z [OC]: And the other?
DOCTOR: Destroys them.

[Black Archive]

CLARA-Z: Which is which?

[Tunnel]

DOCTOR: Ah, that would be telling.

[Black Archive]

(Clara-Z walks out of the Archive and nods to the Zygon guards, who pull the top of Clara's pod. Clara stands. Then Clara-Z walks back into the Archive and puts her phone on the table as Clara is escorted in.)

CLARA-Z: Which box normalises the Zygons, Doctor? Tell me, or she dies.

[Tunnel / Black Archive]

DOCTOR: No. This is war. You pull the trigger, you pay the price.
CLARA-Z: Kill her.

(The Zygons put their hands to Clara's head.)

DOCTOR: The blue one! The blue one! The blue one normalises all your people.

(Clara-Z reaches out to the blue box, but doesn't touch it.)

CLARA-Z: Are you lying? Are you lying to me, Doctor?
DOCTOR: No, I'm not. And when you open up the box, you'll see I'm not lying.

(Clara-Z hits the top of the box. The lid opens to reveal a nicely carved Gallifreyan design with two red buttons, one labelled Truth, the other Consequences.)

CLARA-Z: Doctor?

(She opens the red box. It is the same.)

CLARA-Z: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Yeah, I know.
CLARA-Z: Bring him to me!

[Tunnel]

(The Zygons advance on the Doctor and Osgood. Kate shoots them in the back of their heads.)

KATE: Sorry, Doctor. Self-defence.
DOCTOR: You're you.
KATE: I'm me.
DOCTOR: How did you survive?

(Kate recalls the moment that Norlander transformed. She raised her gun and blam! blam! blam! blam! blam!)

KATE: Five rounds rapid.

(Angry Zygon Clara throws the mobile phone at the wall.)

KATE: I'm sorry, Doctor. I know you don't approve.
DOCTOR: Why does peacekeeping always involve killing?

(Kate drops the Zygon communicator and grinds it underfoot.)

DOCTOR: Is this the lot?
KATE: No, there are plenty more of them. They were the nearest. You are you?
OSGOOD: I'm me.
KATE: But human or Zygon?
OSGOOD: Me.
KATE: What are we dealing with?
DOCTOR: Twenty million Zygons about to be unmasked. You don't know whether they are human or not. And you can't fight them, not with soldiers.
KATE: Which leads me to a very big question.
DOCTOR: Oh, I was really hoping that it wouldn't.
KATE: The Zee-67, Sullivan's gas, the gas that kills the Zygons. You took it.
DOCTOR: Well, you know how it is. Daddy knows best.
KATE: That's what's in the red box, yes? Of course it is. If I remember rightly, it causes a chain reaction in the atmosphere. Turns every Zygon on Earth inside out.
DOCTOR: Let me negotiate peace. You can't commit mass murder
KATE: Then why did you leave the gas with us?
DOCTOR: The boxes are safeguards for both species. You agreed to that.
KATE: I never agreed to that.
DOCTOR: Yes, you did, then I wiped your memory. And you agreed to that, too. But that's why there were two Osgoods to police the ceasefire. One human and one Zygon, to keep the secrets and keep the peace.
KATE: I'm sorry, Doctor. Truly. But the peace is failing already. Come on.

[Black Archive]

CLARA: It's no good, Bonnie. You can't win.
CLARA-Z: I don't care.
DOCTOR: Hi! Hello! Hello!

(The two Zygons seize Clara.)

DOCTOR: Oh, hello! Hi. Hi. Stop this. Stop this, please. Let me take both of these boxes away. We'll forgive, we'll forget. And the ceasefire will stand.
CLARA-Z: No.

(Kate goes to the red box.)

KATE: Doctor, which of these buttons do I press? Doctor, which one? Truth or consequences?

(Bonnie aka Clara-Zygon stands at the blue box.)

CLARA-Z: Truth or consequences?
DOCTOR: This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Make your mind up time!

(He goes into American Game Show Host mode)

DOCTOR: One of those buttons will destroy the Zygons, release the imbecile's gas. The other one detonates the nuclear warhead under the Black Archive. It'll destroy everyone in London. Bonnie. Bonnie, sweetheart! One of those buttons will unmask every Zygon in the world. The other one cancels their ability to change form. It'll make them human beings for ever. (normal) There are safeguards beyond safeguards. I did this on a very important day for me and this ceasefire will stand.
CLARA-Z: This is wrong.
DOCTOR: No, it's not.
CLARA-Z: You are responsible for all the violence. All of the suffering.
DOCTOR: No, I'm not.
CLARA-Z: Yes.
DOCTOR: No.
CLARA-Z: Yes. You engineered this situation, Doctor. This is your fault.
DOCTOR: No, it's not. It's your fault.
CLARA-Z: I had to do what I've done.
DOCTOR: So did I.
CLARA-Z: We've been treated like cattle.
DOCTOR: So what.
CLARA-Z: We've been left to fend for ourselves.
DOCTOR: So's everyone.
CLARA-Z: It's not fair.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's not fair! Oh, I didn't realise that it was not fair! Well, you know what? My TARDIS doesn't work properly and I don't have my own personal tailor.
CLARA-Z: The things don't equate.
DOCTOR: These things have happened, Zygella. They are facts. You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. You're not superior to people who were cruel to you. you're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. A whole bunch of new cruel people being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. Why don't you break the cycle?
CLARA-Z: Why should we?
DOCTOR: What is it that you actually want?

(After a long pause.)

CLARA-Z: War.
DOCTOR: Ah. Ah, right. And when this war is over, when you have a homeland free from humans, what do you think it's going to be like? Do you know? Have you thought about it? Have you given it any consideration? Because you're very close to getting what you want. What's it going to be like? Paint me a picture. Are you going to live in houses? Do you want people to go to work? Will there be holidays? Oh! Will there be music? Do you think people will be allowed to play violins? Who's going to make the violins? Well? Oh, you don't actually know, do you? Because, like every other tantrumming child in history, Bonnie, you don't actually know what you want. So, let me ask you a question about this brave new world of yours. When you've killed all the bad guys, and when it's all perfect and just and fair, when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you? The troublemakers. How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?
CLARA-Z: We'll win.
DOCTOR: Oh, will you? Well, maybe, maybe you will win! But nobody wins for long. The wheel just keeps turning. So, come on. Break the cycle.
CLARA-Z: Why are you still talking?
DOCTOR: Because I want to get you to see, and I'm almost there!
CLARA-Z: Do you know what I see, Doctor? A box. A box with everything I need. A fifty percent chance.
KATE: For us, too.

(Both women have their hands poised over the buttons. The Doctor resumes Games Host mode.)

DOCTOR: And we're off! Fingers on buzzers! Are you feeling lucky? Are you ready to play the game? Who's going to be quickest? Who's going to be luckiest?
KATE: This is not a game!
DOCTOR: No, it's not a game, sweetheart, and I mean that most sincerely.

(Do a search on Hughie Green if you don't get the reference.)

CLARA-Z: Why are you doing this?
KATE: Yes, I'd quite like to know that, too. You set this up. Why?
DOCTOR: Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought, right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning. Sit down and talk! (sigh) Listen to me. Listen, I just, I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.
CLARA-Z: I will not change my mind.
DOCTOR: Then you will die stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box, you can walk right out of that door and you could stand your revolution down.
CLARA-Z: No! I'm not stopping this, Doctor. I started it. I will not stop it. You think they'll let me go, after what I've done?
DOCTOR: You're all the same, you screaming kids. You know that? Look at me, I'm unforgivable. Well, here's the unforeseeable. I forgive you. After all you've done, I forgive you.
CLARA-Z: You don't understand. You will never understand.
DOCTOR: I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight till it burns your hand, and you say this. No one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will have to feel this pain. Not on my watch!

(Kate closes the lid of the red box and steps back.)

DOCTOR: Thank you. Thank you.
KATE: I'm sorry.
DOCTOR: I know. I know. Thank you. (to Clara-Z) Well?

(Long, long pause.)

CLARA-Z: It's empty, isn't it? Both boxes. There's nothing in them. Just buttons.
DOCTOR: Of course. And do you know how you know that? Because you've started to think like me.

(Clara-Z drops her hand away from the buttons.)

DOCTOR:It's hell, isn't it? No one should have to think like that. And no one will. Not on our watch. (their eyes meet) Gotcha.
CLARA-Z: How can you be so sure?
DOCTOR: Because you have a disadvantage, Zygella. I know that face.
KATE: This is all very well, but we know the boxes are empty now. We can't forget that.
DOCTOR: No, well, er, you've said that the last fifteen times.

(He sonics the memory filter in the ceiling. Bang!  Osgood leans an unconscious Kate against a rack of stuff. Clara-Z closes the blue box.)

CLARA-Z: You didn't wipe my memory.
DOCTOR: No. Just Kate's. Oh, and your little friend's here, of course. (the Zygons) When they wake up, they won't remember what you've done. It'll be our secret.
CLARA-Z: You're going to protect me?
OSGOOD: You're one of us now, whether you like it, or not.
CLARA-Z: I don't understand how you could just forgive me.
DOCTOR: Because I've been where you have. There was another box. I was going to press another button. I was going to wipe out all of my own kind, man, woman and child. I was so sure I was right.
CLARA-Z: What happened?
DOCTOR: The same thing that happened to you. I let Clara Oswald get inside my head. Trust me. She doesn't leave.

[Zygon Command Centre]

(Clara-Z goes through the Drakeman Junior School boiler room to the giant Command polyp, and manipulates its fronds.)

CLARA-Z: Zygon High Command. The ceasefire is back in place. The rebels are standing down. You are all (pause) safe.

(She transforms into a Zygon to move the last frond.)

[Brockwell Park]

OSGOOD: The TARDIS.
DOCTOR: The TARDIS.
OSGOOD: What does it stand for?
DOCTOR: What? You're kidding me? Surely you know that?
OSGOOD: Well, I've heard a couple of different versions.
DOCTOR: I made it up from the initials. It stands for Totally And Radically Driving In Space. Do you want to come? All of the future, all of history, and all of the universe?
OSGOOD: More than anything. But I think I have to stay. I've got a couple of boxes to keep an eye on. And a world to keep safe.
DOCTOR: Fair enough. Clara, would you mind er
CLARA: Mind what?
DOCTOR: I'll see you in the TARDIS, okay?
CLARA: (penny drops) Er, yeah, sure.

(She goes and hugs Osgood.)

CLARA: Take care, you.
OSGOOD: You take care of him. Don't let him die or anything.
CLARA: What if he's really annoying?
OSGOOD: Then fine.
CLARA: Got ya.

(Clara goes into the TARDIS and shuts the door.)

DOCTOR: I need to know. Which one are you?
OSGOOD: I'm Osgood.
DOCTOR: Human or Zygon?
OSGOOD: I'll answer that question one day. Do you know when day that will be?
OSGOOD [OC]: The day nobody cares about the answer.

(A second Osgood in 7th Doctor duffel coat, paisley scarf etc steps out from behind Osgood, where we know there was no one before. Her spectacles haven't got a mend on the bridge.)

OSGOOD 2: Gotcha!
OSGOOD: Oh, look at his face.
OSGOOD 2: It's almost not fair.
DOCTOR: (stuttering) But I don't, I don't. How, how?
OSGOOD: Oh, think it through, Doctor.
OSGOOD 2: Well, it wouldn't be right, would it?
OSGOOD: To carry on using Clara's face
OSGOOD 2: When there's a vacancy.
DOCTOR: Zygella?
OSGOOD: Osgood!
DOCTOR: But which one of you
BOTH: Osgood!
OSGOOD: It doesn't matter which of us is which.
OSGOOD 2: All that matters is that Osgood lives.
OSGOOD: And nothing's going to stop us!
DOCTOR: You're a credit to your species, Petronella Osgood.
OSGOOD: No, Basil.
OSGOOD 2: We're a credit to both of them.
DOCTOR: Oh, and you should know. I'm a very big fan.

(He goes into the TARDIS and shuts the door.)

[TARDIS]

CLARA: So, you must have thought I was dead for a while?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
CLARA: How was that?
DOCTOR: Longest month of my life.
CLARA: It could only have been five minutes.
DOCTOR: I'll be the judge of time.

(He pulls the lever and the TARDIS dematerialises.)

[Brockwell Park]

OSGOOD: Ice creams?
OSGOOD 2: Yes, ice creams. Then back to work.
OSGOOD: What's today?
OSGOOD 2: Oh, you know, same old, same old. Defending the Earth.

(The Osgoods look at each other and use their inhalers, then walk away side by side.)

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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