Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“THE TERRIBLE SHAME OF A TREE – LOGGING TROUBLE IN THE ENDLESS ARBORETUM”

The Terrible Shame of a Tree kicks off Eternity Club 3 with a thoughtful yet adventurous tale centred on Derek the Tree. While the Suspension of Geren celebrates their birthday, Derek pointedly refuses to attend. Concerned, Bernice joins him and soon finds herself entangled in a conflict that is both deeply personal and wildly dangerous.

CHAINSAWS, FLAMETHROWERS, AND CAPITALIST GREED

Their journey takes them to the Endless Arboretum, where they encounter a group of comically evil logging company employees—chainsaw-wielding, flamethrower-toting capitalists who see rare hoar trees as nothing more than profit. The story strikes a perfect balance between humour and genuine critique, skewering the idea of destroying nature for financial gain without ever feeling heavy-handed. The standout villain is Tree Surgeon Alkaran, played with gleeful malice by Jaye Jacobs, making her an instantly detestable antagonist.

DEREK’S SECRET AND A TWIST WE ALL SAW COMING

This episode is a fantastic showcase for Derek, shedding new light on his character. We learn that he himself is a hoar tree—an unsurprising but satisfying twist. His absence from the party stems from shame, believing he isn’t good enough for his own kind. His internal struggle adds a compelling emotional core to the story, making his eventual arc all the more rewarding.

Meanwhile, Alkaran’s vendetta against the hoar trees escalates, culminating in a harrowing sequence where she begins sawing off Derek’s branches in a brutal form of torture. The stakes feel high, and the tension is genuinely gripping.

A BEAUTIFUL, ROOTED RESOLUTION

The climax offers a moment of poetic justice, as hoar tree saplings take root and bloom, symbolising renewal and resilience. Derek, in a touching resolution, chooses to stay and protect them, finally embracing his place among his own kind. It’s a heartfelt ending that delivers a sense of both closure and hope.

VERDICT: A STRONG, CHARACTER-FOCUSED OPENER

The Terrible Shame of a Tree is an excellent start to Eternity Club 3, blending adventure, humour, and emotional depth. It’s a standout episode for Derek, offering development that feels both meaningful and satisfying. The villains are entertainingly over-the-top, the themes are well executed, and the ending is genuinely moving. A fantastic blend of comedy and commentary.

📝97/100

lovely character piece for derek the tree. this range is a great jumping on point for benny and im loving every second of it!

This story follows classic formats, does things like spying around making sure the goons don’t find you, reunited with there where one belongs, that kind of stuff, but Bernice is also lugging a tree around the entire time. I find it a really fun mix of things.

Then there is the always lovely Derek the tree just doing what he does, and it elevates the entire thing. Though unlike his previous appearances, this time a lot of the poeticisms don’t come from what he says, but rather from what he does and doesn’t. Exactly when here, he’s supposed to be in his element, he’s out of it. Or maybe not, and that might be exactly the point. That the way he acts in the eternity club isn’t how he naturally is, and only around them trees he feels relaxed enough not to put barriers up made out of pretend wiseness and stoicism. Because over the course of his adventure with Benny, he starts becoming less that, and it may be a bit because of the stress of all what’s going on, but even after all that he seems warmer. So that’s cool.

The commentary on how extremism can originate from goodwill I really like. Though at its core it’s more the thing of: tell a child it may not ever eat candy, it will only result in the child really wanting candy. That does remind me of a thing that happened to me in primary school. There was a playground thing, we called it “Heksenhoed” (witches’ hat, cause it was a big climb thing in the form of it). One day it got sealed off for repairing, and a group of the more rebellious children suddenly wanted to get to play on it, even if they never paid much attention to it before. Everything that’s deemed very explicitly forbidden only makes people want it more. That makes it cool and different. In this story is also the added factor of it having a directly negative impact on people as well. You don’t save forests by also making enemies, at least not in the long run. I do find that because of maybe the short runtime, Goss can’t really go into the subject enough. It’s stated, and we als get that it’s not those people’s fault, they can change when given the right path, but that’s also where it ends when chainsaw girl becomes a tree. Which is very much too bad, because if that element was explored more, I think it could’ve just been a 5/5. Because I think if we’re talking pure silly adventurous fun, this one is probably the most successful from the first 6 stories for me. And also Derek. I do love Derek. The other ones just don’t have this much Derek…

A good story, and I loved the reveals about Derek the tree and his whole history, but I didn't love Benny kidnapping him despite his vehement protests. It seemed a little too callous of her to just do whatever she wanted with a character who has no ability to control his ability to move on his own. It is fitting with her character that she wanted to explore, but I'm not sure about the kidnap.

I also didn't love the logger woman having a regional accent. When will we stop associating regional accents with the bad guys... It's such a lazy shorthand and Big Finish stories often fall for it.

But overall, a very good story. I liked it, and thought it was fun except those items were annoying enough to me to stop me rating it higher.

Wow I loved this story so much this new Bernice range is a MUST listen so far