The Star Beast

[Prologue]

(Split between the Doctor somewhere, Donna in her kitchen, and the closing scenes of Journey's End.)

DOCTOR: Once upon a time… Once upon a Time Lord, I had a best friend, and her name was Donna Noble. A Time Lord and a human, and we travelled the stars together.
DONNA: Sometimes I have dreams about impossible things. I dream of creatures and adventures and faraway skies. But none of it's true.
DOCTOR: Donna saved the entire universe by taking the power of the Time Lords into her mind, at a terrible cost.
DONNA: Binary, binary, binary, binary…
DOCTOR: She had to forget everything she ever knew.
DOCTOR: Goodbye.
DONNA: No. No, no…
DOCTOR: She had to forget me.
DONNA: Please, no. No! No!
DOCTOR: Because if Donna ever remembers me, she will die.
DONNA: And now I've got a nice life, with a nice fella and a nice house, and the most beautiful daughter in the world. But I just think something's missing.
DOCTOR: I can never see Donna again.
DONNA: Now the days are drawing in, I keep having more and more dreams. Like something's getting closer.
DOCTOR: But now this face has come back. Why?
DONNA: It's like a storm in the air, about to break.
DOCTOR: I think the story hasn't ended yet.

[Camden Lock]

(The TARDIS materialises just along from Cyberdog clothing store, the Doctor steps out and saunters away to the market, where someone is carrying a huge pile of boxes.)

MAN [OC]: Oi! Watch it, love!
DOCTOR: Oh, hold on. Hold on. Let me help.

(Removes layers of boxes to reveal...)

DONNA: Thank you very much.

(And puts them back and walks away.)

DONNA: Oi! Do you mind? (takes them off again) If you've finished playing games, mister, this stuff's not mine. It's hers. Oh, where's she gone? Rose!
DOCTOR: What?
DONNA: Rose!
DOCTOR: What?
DONNA: Rose!
ROSE: Coming! Sorry, Mum. I had to pop back. I wanted to buy a bagful of eyes.
DOCTOR: Mum? And a bag… full of eyes.
DONNA: She's got this business online. You should spend your evenings doing homework, not fiddling about posting things to Dubai.
ROSE: Hold on. Who are you?
DOCTOR: Oh, yeah, sorry.
DONNA: He's not stacked this right.
DOCTOR: My name's…

(Everyone turns to watch the fireball hurtling through the sky, except Donna, who is sorting out Rose's boxes.)

DONNA: I took one look at him. I said, "Never trust a man with a goatee." He looked like he'd been sucking a drainpipe. I said to him…
WOMAN: Look at this!
DONNA: ..but he was like, "I know better." I said…
ROSE: Mum! There's a plane crashing.
DONNA: But watch me stack correctly.
DOCTOR: I don't think that's a plane. It's a spaceship in trouble.
ROSE: Mum, look! It's a spaceship.
DONNA: Yes. There's a spaceship crashing over London right now. You are worse than your great-grandad.
DOCTOR: Oh, Grandad.
ROSE: It's going to crash!

(And it does.)

DONNA: There you go. Perfectly stacked. That's better.
ROSE: Mum, how do you always manage to miss everything?
DONNA: Because I've got better things to do. Nice to meet you, skinny man. Oh, word of advice. You can wear a suit that tight up to the age of 35, and no further. Come on, Rosie.
SHAUN: Rose!
DOCTOR: What?
SHAUN: Rose!
DOCTOR: What?
SHAUN: Rose!
DOCTOR: Oh, I give up!

(Runs over to the taxi driver who is shouting.)

SHAUN: Oh, sorry, mate. That's my daughter over there, and my missus.
DOCTOR: Good, but I need to get north. That explosion just now, something crashed. Can you get me there?
SHAUN: Oh, sat nav says they're closing all the roads.
DOCTOR: Oh, I know some roads even the taxi drivers don't. Trust me. (psychic paper) Grand Master of the Knowledge.
SHAUN: That says Grand Mistress.
DOCTOR: (to the psychic paper) Oh, catch up. (gets in the taxi) And let's allons-y!
SHAUN: Oui, monsieur.

[Taxi]

DOCTOR: So you're Shaun Temple, which means that woman… Your wife, that's Donna, is that right?
SHAUN: Yeah! How did you know that?
DOCTOR: Oh, I know that friend of yours. Nerys.
SHAUN: Oh, Nerys! How is she?
DOCTOR: She's fine.
SHAUN: After the accident.
DOCTOR: She's not fine.
SHAUN: It was her fault.
DOCTOR: She's been fined. But she was saying about you and Donna. So, she's Donna Temple now?
SHAUN: Huh. No! Still Donna Noble. She refused to be Noble-Temple cos she says…
BOTH: ..it sounds like an old ruin.
SHAUN: That's her! And Rose Noble, too. I was never going to win that battle. What do I care? I've got the best two girls in the world, mate.
DOCTOR: But Nerys said… I thought… I mean, didn't you win the lottery?
SHAUN: Nerys and her big mouth. That's supposed to be a secret. You know what happened? Donna gave it all away to charity. Every single penny. Well, we bought the house. That's the one thing we did do. Now we can't afford to run it. Do I complain? No, I do not. That's the great love story, mate. Me putting up with that.
DOCTOR: She gave all her money away?
SHAUN: Triple rollover, 166 million quid, pop! Gone.
DOCTOR: Why did she do that? Oh, next left!

[Steelworks]

REPORTER: I'm here at the front of the Millson Wagner steelworks, where residents have described an object falling from the sky, some calling it a UFO. Whoa! What are you doing? Get off me! I'm a member of the press.

(The video goes blank as UNIT soldiers bundle him into the back of a vehicle.)

CHAN: Take him away! I want a Red Perimeter, access to the south-east only. Now move.
SOLDIER: Confirm Red Perimeter. Engage Protocols 5 and 50!

(The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to cut a hole in the perimeter fence and saunters into the actual building where the spaceship has surprisingly parked, ready to launch again. UNIT soldiers are putting out small fires. He start up the staircase until he hears...)

SHIRLEY: Now, I think we're making a fundamental mistake, cos maybe that spaceship was on a collision course to start with, but look. At the last minute it pulls up, then settles. What I'm saying is, that ship didn't crash. It parked.
CHAN: No signs of life?
SHIRLEY: Not yet. But we don't know what kind of life we're looking for.

[Street]

(Lads on bikes ride pass Rose and Donna.)

LAD: Oi, Jason, you all right?
LAD 2: Looking good, Jason!
LAD: Give us a kiss, Jay Boy!
DONNA: I'll get them. Is that Josie Wingate's boy?
ROSE: Just leave it.
DONNA: Well, I'm going to tell her, cos I remember she had lots of names at school.

[Donna's home]

DONNA: And I should know. I invented 'em. Oh, more trouble?
SYLVIA: I've made you a nice curry.
DONNA: We've still got that giant sausage roll from Thursday. I don't need my own personal food bank. It is not my fault I lost my job. All right, it is my fault, but still…
SYLVIA: If you'd kept some of that money…
DONNA: Don't start.
ROSE: Gran, did you see that spaceship? Was it on the news?
SYLVIA: No, I didn't, and I won't, and I couldn't. I mean, how many more times? There's no such thing as spaceships. You didn't see anything, did you?
DONNA: Oh, you know me. Dumbo. I miss everything.
SYLVIA: Well, good. (to Rose) You look absolutely gorgeous.
ROSE: I'm just going to put these in the shed.
DONNA: Listen, you. I would burn down the world for you, darling. Anyone has a go, I will be there and I will descend.
SYLVIA: Is she all right?
DONNA: Boys from school.
SYLVIA: I never know. When I say she looks gorgeous, is that right? I mean, is it sexist? Never said it to him when he was… Oh. Oh, sorry.
DONNA: Does she look gorgeous? Yes. Well, stop worrying.
SYLVIA: I just get so clumsy.
DONNA: I know. So do I. That's what happens. You have a kid, you think, "Good. I've got it. That's mine." And then she grows up into this extraordinary, beautiful thing, and you think, "Where the hell did she come from? How lucky am I?" Don't you, Mum?
SYLVIA: Oh, yes. Definitely.
DONNA: Yeah, I wish. Funny about that spaceship thing. Remember Gramps used to talk about flying saucers?
SYLVIA: Did I tell you? I saw Susie Mair. She's looking a lot better. Shorter, obviously.
DONNA: And then he stopped. He used to talk about aliens and UFOs and little green men, then he never mentioned them again, round about the time… I forgot everything.
SYLVIA: It's a long time ago, darling. Fifteen years.
DONNA: There's just this… gap.
SYLVIA: It's no great mystery. You had a bit of a breakdown, sweetheart, and then you got better.
DONNA: Sometimes I think there's something missing. Like I had something lovely, and it's gone. And I… I kind of… I kind of look to the side, like… like something should be there, but it's not. And I know I've got Rose and Shaun and you, and the biggest sausage roll I've ever seen, frankly. I should be happy. I should be really happy. But some nights… I lie in bed thinking "What have I lost?"

[Back alley]

(Putting the cardboard boxes in the bin.)

FUDGE: Rose! Have you seen? On the flatwood! A spaceship landed!
ROSE: Fudge, that was miles away.
FUDGE: No, but a bit fell off, like an escape pod, with aliens inside!

[The flatwood]

(A metal globe is steaming on the grass.)

FUDGE: Oh, my God. It's empty, Rose! That means it got out. There's an alien on the loose! This is amazing!
ROSE: I'm going to get my phone.

(The police have arrived.)

POLICE: All right, stay calm.

[Back alley]

ROSE: Who's that?

(Long fingers come around a bin bag. Rose picks it up.)

MEEP: Meep, meep!
ROSE: Oh, my God. Hello. I mean, wow. What are you?
MEEP: I am The Meep.
ROSE: You can talk? Oh, my God.
MEEP: Meep, meep.
ROSE: My name is Rose. I'm a human. What happened? Did you crash?
MEEP: I fell from the stars. I hurt my paw.
ROSE: Let me see.
MEEP: No! But I'm not safe. There are others from the sky. They're hunting me down to kill me.
ROSE: Who are they?
MEEP: Monsters.

(Meanwhile, Fudge is on his phone.)

FUDGE: There are aliens on the loose right on our doorstep!

(He comes face to face with giant insectoid bipeds, with weapons, screams and runs.)

WARRIOR: Leave him. It is the Meep we seek. Continue the hunt.

[Steelworks]

(The Doctor sits under the spaceship and scans it with his sonic, then creates his own holographic screen to view the results.)

SHIRLEY: Too good for us now?
DOCTOR: Evening.
SHIRLEY: Doctor.
DOCTOR: That's a Double-Bladed Dagger Drive, damaged by laser fire, which means we've got two sets of visitors at war with each other. Nice to meet you. Did you get the heat readings and deceleration?
SHIRLEY: Oh, I got everything. Shirley Anne Bingham, UNIT Scientific Adviser No. 56.
DOCTOR: Oh! I was Scientific Adviser No. 1.
SHIRLEY: Oh, I know. I've read the files. I'm going to get a bonus just for meeting you.
DOCTOR: Oh…
SHIRLEY: But why are you hiding away? We're on the same side.
DOCTOR: Er… It's all a bit mad, Shirley. I don't know who I am any more.
SHIRLEY: Well, you look like the Doctor to me.
DOCTOR: Well, exactly. The one in the skinny suit. After that, I wear a bow tie. After that, I'm a Scotsman. After that, I'm a woman.
SHIRLEY: But…that's your future. You can't know that. It's forbidden.
DOCTOR: I regenerated, and she became me.
SHIRLEY: You got your old face back?
DOCTOR: Yep.
SHIRLEY: But why?
DOCTOR: Well, that's what I'm worried about. Because I've got this friend called Donna Noble, and she was my best friend in the whole wide universe. I absolutely love her. Oh. Mmm. Do I say things like that now?
SHIRLEY: It sounds like a good thing to say.
DOCTOR: But Donna took the mind of a Time Lord into her head. I had to wipe her memory to save her life. If she ever remembers me, she will die. So what happens next? I get this face back and the TARDIS lands right next to her. I turn around, there's her husband, then a spaceship crashes right in front of her. It's like she's drawing us in.
SHIRLEY: What, she's making it happen?
DOCTOR: No, she's got no idea. She's so ordinary, she's brilliant. She's got this beautiful daughter. She's happy. Is she? And now the universe is turning around her again. I don't believe in destiny, but if destiny exists, then it is heading for Donna Noble right now.
SHIRLEY: What for?
DOCTOR: I don't know.
SHIRLEY: Oh.
DOCTOR: But she can't remember. I won't be the one who kills her. Right, there's no sign of a pilot, but that's not an automatic drive, so look for some sort of…

SOLDIER: Ma'am? We've found the escape pod. No sign of life, but we're moving out to secure the site.
SHIRLEY: Good work, soldier. Go get it. Yeah, yeah, not you, mate. I've got this. Off you pop. Bye-bye.
DOCTOR: Waited your whole life?
SHIRLEY: You wish.

(Outside.)

SOLDIER 2: Alpha Team, move out. Bravo team, commence…

(The Doctor sonicks open a tailgate and jumps on board. Shirley waves him off. Back inside...)

CHAN: I think we've got something. A signal from inside the ship. It's some kind of repeated pulse, but when we answer it with basic modulation, it modulates it back. Ah. That's, er… Sorry about the stairs, but Geneva says to go in immediately.
SHIRLEY: Don't make me the problem. Just get in there.
(For those who don't know already, Ruth Madeley aka Hebe Harrison from the 6th Doctor audio adventures, uses a wheelchair.
At the top of the staircase…)
CHAN: Okay, let's see if this key-pulse works. At arms.
SQUAD: Sir!

(It works.)

CHAN: Do not fire without my command.

(The hatch opens to reveal a swirling energy, which reaches out and penetrates the soldiers's eyes, possessing them. Shirley watches from the ground as the squad descend the stairs and lower their visors to obscure their glowing eyeballs.)

[Donna's home]

DONNA: It's bin night. Your turn!

(But Rose runs out to her shed in the garden.)

[Shed]

MEEP: Meep, meep!
ROSE: It's okay.
MEEP: Hello.
ROSE: It's only me. I've got some first-aid stuff.
MEEP: I made some little friends.
ROSE: Oh, no. They're just toys.

MEEP: Please be my friend. Why won't you speak to the little Meep? Be my friend. Be my friend! No… Please be my friend!
ROSE: They can't talk.
MEEP: Please? Poor little things with no voice.
ROSE: Look, it's just my little home-made business. I'm trying to make a bit of money for Mum and Dad, that's all. These are toys. Humans have toys. They've got stuffing inside.
MEEP: Ah! You pulled its tummy out!
ROSE: No, no, no, keep it down. Don't be so loud.
MEEP: I want to go home. The Meep is all alone.
ROSE: Yeah. I know that feeling. Sometimes I think I'm from a different planet. That's what other people say.
MEEP: You sound lonely.
ROSE: No, just… different.
MEEP: Now you have The Meep.
DONNA [OC]: I told you, on the rota, but did you listen, Rose?
ROSE: Hide.
DONNA: Every week it is the same old thing, and who ends up doing the bins?
ROSE: Mum, it says "keep out".
DONNA: You know my rules. No secrets in this house. Now, have you got anything for recycling?
ROSE: I've done it. Come on, Mum, I'm starving. Let's go and have some tea.
DONNA: Ooo, that's a new one, isn't it?
ROSE: Mum, please.
DONNA: Oh, that is your best yet.
ROSE: No, I know, but let's go.
DONNA: That woman from Abu Dhabi who buys your stuff, she'd love that one. Ah! She's obsessed with gonks. Grown woman, obsessed with gonks. You could charge her double.
ROSE: It's really cold. Shall we go in?
DONNA: I have to say that is very good handiwork. You could go on the Sewing Bee.
ROSE: Mum, please, let's go inside.
DONNA: And those eyes are amazing! They look so real! They look…

(The Meep blinks.)

DONNA: What?
ROSE: What?
DONNA: Did it just…?

(Donna pokes The Meep in the eye. It reacts.)

DONNA: What the hell?!

[Street]

SOLDIER 2: Move out! Move, move, move! Single file, left flank!
DONNA [OC]: What the hell is it doing in my shed?

(The Doctor heads towards her voice.)

SOLDIER 2: Find the target. Surround the perimeter!

[Garden]

MEEP: Please, pretty lady…
DONNA: It talks!
ROSE: Mum!
DONNA: How the hell is it talking?!
SYLVIA: Don't look at it. Look away. Right now. It isn't real.

(The Doctor hammers on the front door.)

MEEP: Please.
DOCTOR [OC]: Let me in! Let me in!
SYLVIA: You!

[Donna's home]

DOCTOR [OC]: Sylvia! Oh, Sylvia, so nice to see you again. Could you let me in?
SYLVIA: You said if she sees you again, she will die.
DOCTOR [OC]: Well, no. If she remembers me. That's slightly different.
DONNA: No such thing as spaceships? We've got a bloody Martian in the shed!
ROSE [OC]: Stop panicking and grow up!
SYLVIA: Get out of here now!
MEEP: Help! Help!
DONNA: Get off me, you space rat!
DOCTOR: (through letterbox) Oh, wow. He's so cute!
SYLVIA: Don't look at it, Donna. Don't look!
DONNA: What?
SYLVIA: Don't look. It doesn't exist.

(The Doctor sonicks his way in.)

DONNA: What do you mean it doesn't exist? It's hanging off my left leg!
MEEP: Meep, meep.

(Sylvia hits the Doctor, hard.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Here we go again.
ROSE: It's that man.
DONNA: Oh, it's skinny man!
SYLVIA: No, it isn't. No, no, he's not there. You can't see him. And there's no monster. Oh, for the love of God! None of this is real!
SHAUN: Hey, hey. Dad's home. Something smells nice.
SYLVIA: Tuna madras.
MEEP: Meep, meep.

[The flatwood]

CHAN: Major Singh, you and your squadron will return to the steelworks immediately.
SINGH: But sir, we detected an atypical…
CHAN: You will return immediately for reassessment. Do you understand?
SINGH: Yes, sir. Mason, Jilvani, we're moving out.
MASON: On me! Move!
CHAN: We are close. The Meep is near.

[Donna's home]

(The Doctor is bandaging The Meep's hand.)

SYLVIA: We should think about infection. I mean, I think this man should deal with this beast, and… and… and we can leave him alone and go back to mine.
DONNA: Never mind. Never mind about the ferret from Mars. Who the hell are you?
DOCTOR: I er… What was it?
SHAUN: A friend of Nerys.
DOCTOR: That's it.
DONNA: Nerys! Well, now it all makes sense. That viper in the nest. I'm not going anywhere. We could sell Mad Paddington for a million quid.
ROSE: Mum!
DOCTOR: No!
DONNA: You fill the fridge.
DOCTOR: What did happen to all your money?
DONNA: Why are you so interested in us? Everywhere we go, there you are.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I just… I was wondering. There is one person missing. I used to know your grandad, Wilf.
DONNA: He's not with us any more.
DOCTOR: Right. Of course. He wasn't young, he was… I loved that man. I'm so sorry for your loss.
SYLVIA: He's not dead, you idiot.
DONNA: He's in sheltered accommodation. He's 94. He can't manage the stairs.
SHAUN: We were lucky. We couldn't afford it, but this offer came along.
ROSE: It's amazing. He's got this room, like a cottage and a garden, and it's almost free.
SHAUN: Run by that lot in the middle of town? UNIT? This woman in charge, Kate, she says, he's an old soldier, she'll look after him.
DOCTOR: Right, I know her. She's looking after Wilf. Brilliant. Brilliant.
MEEP: Meep, meep.
DOCTOR: Yes. The Meep. I promise I can help him get home and then you'll never see me again.
ROSE: You're assuming "he" as a pronoun?
DOCTOR: True. Yes. Sorry. Good point. Are you he or she or they?
MEEP: My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always The Meep.
DOCTOR: Oh. I do that. But you were shot down. Who wants you dead?
MEEP: The Wrarth Warriors. They cultivate Meepkind for our beautiful fur. But then the galaxy said, "No more fur. It's wrong." So the Wrarth Warriors slaughtered their livestock.
DOCTOR: You're a fashion victim. Sorry.
MEEP: Now they will hunt me down till there are no Meeps left. It breaks both my hearts.
DOCTOR: You've got two hearts? So do I.
DONNA: You've got what?
SYLVIA: No, he… he means it like a metaphor. Like two minds, don't you?

(Banging on front door.)

DONNA: What the hell is it now?
DOCTOR: Good. The soldiers. They can give us a lift, and me and The Meep will be out of your way. This lot are on my side.

(Opens the front door.)

CHAN: We demand to search the house. This has been declared a military zone.
DOCTOR: Sorry, say that again?

(Sonicks the visor up to see the glowing eyes, and down again.)

CHAN: We demand to search the house. This has been declared a military zone.
DOCTOR: Not today, thanks. I think we need to run. Oh!

(The back door is blown in.)

WARRIOR: Wrarth attack formation! Surrender The Meep.

(Chan and his men burst through the front door.)

CHAN: Positions!

(Weapons fire along the corridor.)

[Street]

(More possessed UNIT soldiers arrive in a Land Rover Defender.)

SOLDIER 2: Secure the house! Eliminate the Wrarth.

(Fudge watches from his bedroom window.)

[Donna's home]

DONNA: What the hell is going on?
SYLVIA: Donna!
DOCTOR: Where's your car?
SHAUN: Er… five… Five doors down.
DOCTOR: Excellent.

(The Doctor starts using his sonic screwdriver to make something out of air.)

SHAUN: There are children here! We've got children.
ROSE: Never mind me, we've got to save the Meep.

(The Doctor is creating slabs of forcefield. The first one blocks the hallway to the front of the bottom of the stairs, the second further back, creating a passageway for the family.)

DOCTOR: Upstairs! Up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Come on, The Meep! Come on. That's it.
MEEP: Meep!
WARRIOR: Meep sighted.
MEEP: Help me!

(Outside.)

WARRIOR: Meep, second level!

(And blasts a hole in the landing wall.)

DONNA: My house!
DOCTOR: Upstairs! Upstairs, upstairs!

(The possessed soldiers break through the forcefield.)

CHAN: Body armour at maximum!

(A Wrarth Warrior hovers on insect wings outside the hole it has made.)

WARRIOR: Find The Meep!

(Upstairs, the Doctor pulls down the loft ladder.)

DOCTOR: Up we go. Fast as you can.

[Attic spaces]

(Running the entire terrace, each house separated by a single thickness brick wall.)

DOCTOR: This is a sonic screwdriver, and if it's good at one thing… it's resonating concrete.
SHAUN: That's not concrete, that's mortar.
DONNA: Thank you, Bob the Builder.

(The Doctor pushes the loose bricks through.)

DONNA: Skinny Minnie. You're not bad.
DOCTOR: You think?
SYLVIA: No, she doesn't. Now move.
DOCTOR: Come on. Five houses down.

[Street]

(More UNIT vehicles arrive. The possessed ones turn to shoot at them.)

SINGH: Rogue UNIT troops under hostile control. This is Code Red. Open fire!

(Some cars are already burning. The Wrarth Warriors advance.)

SOLDIER [OC]: All soldiers protect house 23!

(The flying Warriors join in as our party continue their escape.)

[Fifth house along]

(Down the stairs, past the front room where the occupant is wearing headphones and snoring, oblivious to everything.)

MEEP: Meep, meep.
DOCTOR: Can I have the keys?

(Wrarth Warriors walk past, and they make a dash for the taxi. The Doctor checks a fallen UNIT soldier.)

MEEP: (in taxi) Meep, meep!
DOCTOR: What?
WARRIOR: Meep located! Stop The Meep!

(The Doctor drives the taxi away under full Wrarth fire.)

[Taxi]

MEEP: Help the Meep!
DONNA: Oh, my God!
SHAUN: You did it!
SYLVIA: We're alive. Thank you.
MEEP: Meep, meep!
DOCTOR: Either we escaped… or we've got things very, very wrong.

[Underground carpark]

(The Doctor parks up and lets The Meep out of the taxi.)

MEEP: Meep, meep!

(He pulls a barrister's wig from his inside pocket and puts it on.)

DOCTOR: This court is now in session. Intercept teleport.
MEEP: Help me!

(Two Wrarth Warriors are teleported in.)

DONNA: What the hell are you doing?
DOCTOR: Silence in court. I'm invoking Shadow Proclamation Protocols 15, P and 6. Under my jurisdiction, there will be no violence until such time as I deem it fit and proper. Is that understood? Now, exhibit A. The taxi. No scorch marks. Donna, can you confirm?
DONNA: Er… Yes. Er… No, nothing.
DOCTOR: We were hit by plasma bolts, but there isn't a mark. And that soldier in the street, he was unconscious, not dead. Exhibit B. Those guns are stun guns. Is that correct?
ZOGROTH: The guns apply a mild and harmless neural anaesthetic. For the record, my name is Sergeant Zogroth.
ZREEG: And I am Constable Zreeg.
MEEP: But the evil Wrarth Warriors want to kill the Meep.
DOCTOR: The only ones out to kill were the soldiers with the swirling eyes. Were they coming to hurt you, the Meep? Or save you?
ZOGROTH: If I may speak?
DOCTOR: Address the court.
ZOGROTH: The story of The Meep is a tragic tale. Their planet basked in the light of a living sun, until one terrible day, the sun went mad.
ZREEG: A psychedelic sun.
ZOGROTH: Its radiation mutated all of Meepkind into cruel beasts who live for conquest.
DOCTOR: The eyes! That's solar psychedelia!
ZOGROTH: It renders them as maniacs.
ZREEG: The Meep Army captured the Galactic Council, beheaded them and ate them. The Wrarth Warriors were summoned, and we fought across the stars a long and awful battle.
ZOGROTH: Meepkind died rather than surrender, and now only this one survives. Their leader, the most cruel and despicable of all.
MEEP: Meep, meep.
DOCTOR: Now, let's be fair. It's your turn, The Meep. Witness for the defence. So, what do you say?
MEEP: Oh, to hell with this. Exhibit C.

(Shoots the Wrarth Warriors.)

MEEP: No stun guns for me! Just die!
SHAUN: Donna! Donna, don't!
MEEP: And here they come! My Soldiers of the Psychedelic Sun!
SOLDIER: Obey The Meep!
DONNA: Get out! Get Rose out!
MEEP: I don't need to pretend, for I am The Beep of all The Meeps!
ZOGROTH: Sergeant Zogroth… regrets… retirement… ..from… active duty. Ah.
DONNA: I was right. You are a monster!
MEEP: And you believed every word I said, you stupid woman with your weird child.
DONNA: Don't you dare!
MEEP: Oh, I dare!
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Last-minute evidence. Meep! Why is there another two-hearted species on this planet unless I'm part of a strategy by the Wrarth Warriors to outfox you? And if you kill me and fail to take this family hostage, you'll never find out, will you?
MEEP: Hmm. Bring them!
DOCTOR: Good! Now, look, I can suggest a much better way off this planet than a Double-Bladed Dagger Drive, because that thing is gonna…

(A soldier knocks him out with his weapon.)

[Back of vehicle]

(The Doctor wakes up.)

DONNA: Who are you? What's your name?
DOCTOR: I'm just passing by.
DONNA: Do you know him?
SYLVIA: No.
DONNA: You act like you know him. Ever since he arrived, it's like… I'm so stupid!
SHAUN: No! No, you're not.
DONNA: We could be living somewhere far away from here. Monte Carlo. Switzerland. And you'd be safe, Rose. It's all my fault. I gave away that lottery money.
DOCTOR: Why?
DONNA: Because… there are places out there where people are in danger and in pain and fear. And I could help. It just felt like the sort of thing he would do.

(The vehicle stops suddenly, the Doctor hits his head.)

DOCTOR: Ow!
SOLDIER 2 [OC]: Out.

[Steelworks]

(Welding is in progress.)

DOCTOR: It didn't land in a steelworks by mistake. It came to be mended.

(The Meep is being carried shoulder-high on a metal throne.)

MEEP: Hail to the Meep!
ALL: Hail to the Most High! Hail to the Meep! Hail to the Most High!
MEEP: Human scum, behold my vessel to the stars! Far beyond your tiny, grasping minds.
DOCTOR: I name this ship the Delusions of Grandeur. You can't fire those engines, not from here. A Dagger Drive gets its energy by stabbing, down. It would extract… ooo, five square miles? The whole of London Town burnt as fuel.
ROSE: But that's nine million people.
MEEP: A great day for Meepkind, and the start of a new reign of terror, as the Meep returns to the stars for revenge… and feasting! Now, activate the initialisers.
SOLDIER: Initialisers activated.
MEEP: Brandish the gravity stanchions.
SOLDIER: Gravity stanchions… brandished.
MEEP: Calibrate the flight deck!
SOLDIER: Flight deck calibrated.
MEEP: Take the prisoners on board, then I'll decide which one to eat first. Hail to the Meep!
ALL: Hail to the Most High! Hail to the Meep!

[Upper level]

(The lift arrives, the possessed soldiers open the gate.)

SHIRLEY: Evening, boys.

(And fires darts at the soldiers, which knock them out.)

DOCTOR: You've got weapons in your wheelchair?
SHIRLEY: We all have. Come on. Come on. Right. You lot, the family, you can get out through that door. And you need to get to engine control, but the port side's guarded. There's no way round it.
DOCTOR: So what do we do?
SHIRLEY: I don't just fire darts, mate.

(She blasts a hole in a wall for him.)

SHIRLEY: You lot run. I'll fight 'em off at the lift.
SHAUN: Donna, come on! Come on.
DONNA: I love you, darling. I'm sorry.

(She closes the door on them and locks it.)

SHAUN: No. Donna! Donna, you can't!
DONNA: Take her. Take her ten miles away. I love you, Shaun, but if the Doctor can't save the city, we're all going to die. I've got to help.
SHAUN: Donna!
SYLVIA: She called him Doctor. Come on.

[Engine control]

(The Doctor sonicks his way in.)

COMPUTER: Dagger Drive systems initialising.

(He starts punching at controls.)

DONNA: That's enough… running. Blimey.
COMPUTER: Chamber deadlocked.
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no! I told you to go! Don't…! Argh! No time. I've got this. I've got it, I've got it. You stay there. Don't move, Donna.

[Steelworks]

ALL: Hail to The Meep! Hail to the Most High!

(The Meep is in its capsule at the top of the rocket.)

MEEP: Maximise petrolinks and combustible hyperlines. Hail to The Meep!
ALL: Hail to the Most High!

[Engine control]

COMPUTER: Star-launch in five minutes.

[Capsule]

MEEP: Primary ignition signature installed. Deadlock seal.

[Engine control]

COMPUTER: Deadlock sealed.

(The sonic screwdriver sparks.)

DOCTOR: Ooo! Oh, it's been deadlocked.
DONNA: What's that mean?
DOCTOR: It means I can do it by hand.

[Capsule]

MEEP: Bisect the maxifold.

[Engine control]

(A transparent bulkhead descends,cutting the chamber in two. The Doctor dashes and slides back and forth while it drops.)

DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no!
COMPUTER: Maxifold bisecting. Double Dagger Drive installed and initiated.
DOCTOR: Oh! Okay, okay. I can do it. Half the room. That's fine.

(Donna is on the other side of the bulkhead.)

DONNA: Let me help.
DOCTOR: No! You can't get involved. You can't! Argh! The switches, the top ones, the blue ones. Flick them all down.

[Capsule]

MEEP: Activate the Dagger Drive.

[Steelworks]

(The Dagger pierces the ground, which rips, revealing flames coming up from inches beneath.)

SHAUN: We can't get out. We're trapped!
ROSE: What do we do?

(The cracks spread out, and run down the middle of the street where Fudge watches from his window.)

[Engine control]

DOCTOR: We've run out of time.
COMPUTER: Ignition in 230.
DOCTOR: If there was anything else I could do, but there's only one thing left.
DONNA: Well then, do it. Hurry up and do it! What are you waiting for?
DOCTOR: I think… all that coincidence was heading here, to save London from burning. Because you and I can stop this ship. Together.
DONNA: Oh.
DOCTOR: But it will kill you.
DONNA: Okay.
DOCTOR: You'll die.
DONNA: My daughter is down there.
COMPUTER: Ignition in 180.
DONNA: And it's not just Rose. It's nine million people. Who cares about me?
DOCTOR: I do.
DONNA: Why? I'm just no one.
DOCTOR: No, you are not! Why does it have to be this?!
COMPUTER: Entering final sequence.
DOCTOR: Westerly. Pelican. Dreams.
DONNA: I don't… I don't care what it is, all right? Just… just go and do it, will you?
DOCTOR: Tornado.
COMPUTER: One fifty.
DOCTOR: Clifftops. Andante.
DONNA: Get on with it!
DOCTOR: Grief. Fingerprint. Susurration.
DONNA: Oh! Sparrow.
COMPUTER: One thirty.
DOCTOR: Sparrow.
BOTH: Dance. Mexico.
DONNA: Ah. Binary. Binary. Binary.

(Regeneration energy bursts out of her.)

COMPUTER: Ignition in 100.

[Capsule]

MEEP: And burn, you city of fools!

[Engine control]

COMPUTER: Ignition in 90.
DOCTOR: Are you all right?
DONNA: I gave away my money.
COMPUTER: Ignition in 75.
DOCTOR: Right, but…
DONNA: I gave away all my money. And do you know why, Doctor? I gave it away to be like you. So I could be kind. So I could be nice. So I could be helpful.
COMPUTER: Ignition in one minute.
DONNA: I had a subconscious infracutaneous retrofold memory loop, making me act as soft as you and give away £166 million!
DOCTOR: Yes, Donna, but… destruction of London?
DONNA: Oh, I'll show you destruction, mate. I will tripledrive the particle manifesto, overstep the umbilical feed, vindicate the cyberline and roast the hyperfeeds. Like this!
DOCTOR: Maximise the stressfold links!
DONNA: Channel up the booster drive!
DOCTOR: Inculcate the plexidrones!
DOCTOR: And shatterfry the positrons. Oh, yes!
COMPUTER: Twenty, nineteen…
DONNA: How long have I got to live?
COMPUTER: Seventeen, sixteen…
BOTH: Fifty five seconds.
COMPUTER: Thirteen, twelve, eleven…
DONNA: Best 55 seconds of my life, because I get to do this.
COMPUTER: Three, two…

(Flips a row of switches and something goes Bang!)

COMPUTER: Ignition halted.
DONNA: Donna Noble is descending.
COMPUTER: Ignition reverse. Ignition reverse.

(The cracks in the ground seal up.)

[Capsule]

MEEP: No!

[Engine control]

DOCTOR: It's working!

(The Dagger is extracted from the ground, the bulkhead separating Donna from the Doctor lifts as she falls to her knees.)

DOCTOR: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, no.

[Capsule]

MEEP: That two-hearted monster! Kill him! Eradicate him!

[Engine control]

DOCTOR: We did it. She's fine. She's safe. You saved her. You saved them all.
DONNA: Why did this face come back?
DOCTOR: I don't know.
DONNA: To say goodbye? Good fun, though.

(Her eyes close.)

CHAN: We have orders to kill you.
DOCTOR: Do what you want. This ship isn't going anywhere. You were beaten… by the DoctorDonna.

[Capsule]

MEEP: Now feel the wrath of The Meep! Destroy him!

(Chan and his men ready their weapons. Someone somewhere flips a row of switches and the energy leaves their bodies.)

MEEP: What?

[Engine control]

DOCTOR: What?
CHAN: What?
DONNA: What?
DOCTOR: You're not dead!
DONNA: But…how?

[Steelworks]

ROSE: Closing down all psychedelic lightwave emanators and transferring excess power to the brokendrone pre-fixilators.

[Engine control]

ROSE [OC]: Mum! Can you hear me? Mum! Doctor! I think it's safe for you to come down now.
DONNA: Rose?
DOCTOR: Too much power for one person, but you had a child, and the metacrisis passed down. A shared inheritance.
DONNA [memory]: Binary.
ROSE [OC]: Nonbinary.
DONNA [memory]: Binary.

(When Donna gave out the energy, so did Rose, to a lesser extent.)

DONNA: It was always there, shining out of her.
DOCTOR: And she chose her own name.
DONNA: Oh, the shed! The shed was her memory of the TARDIS. The toys! The toys! Every creature we met, she remembered as a toy.
DALEK TOY [OC]: Exterminate!
JUDOON TOY [OC]: Do po lo sho!
CYBUSMAN TOY [OC]: Upgrade in progress.

(Other toys are shown including an Ood.)

DOCTOR: We're binary.
DONNA: She's not, because the Doctor's…
DOCTOR: ..male…
DONNA: ..and female.

[Steelworks]

ROSE: And neither. And more.

(The family reunite.)

DOCTOR: Happy now?
SYLVIA: My father would be impressed. I have no higher compliment.
DOCTOR: Ha-ha!
SHIRLEY: There's a word for you, Doctor. And that word is "jammy".
DOCTOR: Jam on toast. Calling the Meep!

[Capsule]

MEEP: You forget I still have my ship. And if I have to explode the engines and rupture this world and damn us all to hell, then I will!

[Steelworks]

(The Doctor flicks one switch, and The Meep's escape capsule is ejected into the night sky.)

DOCTOR: There you go.

(It parachutes safely down again while The Meep mutters to itself like Mutley. Next morning, the Wrarth Warriors have the Meep in custody.)

DOCTOR: Sergeant Zogroth and Constable Zreeg gave their lives, along with many soldiers of Earth.
WARRIOR: Their names will be included in the litany of crimes, as the Meep atones in prison for 10,000 years.
MEEP: Oh, I will escape and have my revenge. So you beware, Doctor, because there's one more thing.
DOCTOR: Which is?
MEEP: A creature with two hearts is such a rare thing. Just wait till I tell… the Boss.

(The Wrarth Warriors and their prisoner are transmatted away.)

DOCTOR: Cryptic. I hate that. But… we've still got to fix you two, because the metacrisis might have slowed down, but that thing is wrapped around your cortex.
DONNA: Yes, we know.
ROSE: We know everything, thanks.
DONNA: And you know nothing It's a shame you're not a woman any more, cos she'd have understood.
ROSE: We've got all that power, but there is a way to get rid of it. Something a male-presenting Time Lord will never understand.
DONNA: Just let it go.
ROSE: And we choose to let it go.

(Donna and Rose hold hands, and the energy leaves them.)

SHAUN: Like I said, mate. How lucky am I?
ROSE: After all these years, I'm… finally me.

[Camden Lock]

(They get out of the taxi near the TARDIS.)

DOCTOR: And UNIT have a great insurance policy. Damage to property in the course of an alien war. While that's being sorted out… One last trip?
SYLVIA: Don't you dare.
DONNA: Do you know… I would love to. But I have got adventures of my own bringing up this one.
ROSE: Can I see inside?
DONNA: No. No, no, no. No. Because something will go wrong and you'll end up on Mars with Chaucer and a robot shark. And that's actually happened, hasn't it?
DOCTOR: Oh, yeah. But I was thinking we could go and see Wilf?
DONNA: Now, that is cheeky.
DOCTOR: Just a suggestion.
SYLVIA: I mean it. Don't you dare!
DONNA: Oh, but imagine his face, Mum. Oh, he would be so happy. All those secrets Grandad kept for years. He thought I'd never remember. And to see the Doctor one last time?
SYLVIA: Oh, all right. But one trip, that's all. Just one.
DONNA: One tiny little trip. That is a promise. It's like the old days. Just me and the Doctor, together. Is that all right?
SHAUN: Yeah, course it is.
DONNA: Well… a lot of husbands would worry. You know, me, in a box, with another man.
SHAUN: Yeah. But not him.
DONNA: Come on, Spaceman.

[TARDIS]

(She's redecorated her desktop. Now it is all mid-grey lit with roundels, and lots of ramps to circular hatchways in the wall of the console room. The Doctor runs around.)

DOCTOR: Ha-ha-ha! Oh, this is amazing! It changed! Oh, you clever thing! Look at that! It's got this!

(Throws a lever and the colour of the roundels changes.)

DOCTOR: And that!

(Goes to disco lights mode, then settles on mostly blue.)

DOCTOR: What's that?
DONNA: Still a bit nippy.
DOCTOR: Oh, come on!
DONNA: All right. It's gorgeous! It's cleaner. And it's…grown. But I still don't get it. The TARDIS can change, all right, but… what about your face? Why did it come back?
DOCTOR: Does there have to be a reason?
DONNA: With your life? Yes!
DOCTOR: Well, I'm stuck with it now. Oh, this thing is brilliant. It's even got a coffee machine! You want one?
DONNA: You're kidding.
DOCTOR: With cold milk, yeah?
DONNA: Well remembered.

(Up comes a cup and saucer. He carefully hands it to her.)

DONNA: Thank you very much. Careful. This is how I lost my job. Dropped a coffee in the computer.
DOCTOR: Mmm. I really do remember, though. Every second with you. I'm so glad you're back, cos it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.
DONNA: We can have more days, can't we? I mean, why is it such a big goodbye with you? Why is it one last trip? Cos you could visit with my family. We could do outrageous things, like have tea, or dinner, and a laugh. And Rose's school play. Well, maybe not that. She can't act. She's terrible. I don't know how to tell her. But the point is, you've been given a second chance. You can do things different this time. So why don't you do something completely new, and have some friends?
DOCTOR: Yeah. Maybe. Yeah.
DONNA: Like now. Here we are, having a coffee. What's going to go wrong?

(The obvious, that's what. Splash!)

DONNA: Oh, my God, I did it again!

(A series of bangs from the console, the time rotor starts up amidst flames and fireworks. The roundels turn red.)

[Camden Lock]

(The TARDIS goes wibbley and gives off pulses from the blue light as it starts to dematerialise.)

ROSE: Mum! Mum!
SHAUN: Donna!
SYLVIA: I said so!

[TARDIS]

DONNA: What's happening?
DOCTOR: I've got no idea. It's completely out of control! We could end up anywhere in Time and Space!

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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